Revival
by tonyamic10
Summary: Bella Swan's heart was broken five years ago, by her one true love Edward Cullen. She could not take another day living in Forks and went back to live with her mother. An emergency brought her back to her father. Can Bella continue to heal? A new friend, Seth is determined to help, but an old friend complicates her life in the process. [AU, Jacob/Bella, Seth/Bella, Paul/Bella]
1. Chapter 1

**Revival**

_**I am half way hiding behind the corner, because I have this new fic and not sure if I should post. It is so different from anything else I have written. It is going to be on the angsty side and things are going to get really messy, before they get better. I am hoping for HEA, but who knows. The premise of the story is Bella left Forks after being abandoned. She could not stay in the same place as she had been with Edward. Imagine that Twilight occurred and New Moon started off as the original books, but that is when I strayed from the path. Bella never got the chance to reconnect with Jacob, so she never leaned on him heavily and he did not help her heal. They were never best friends and she was not there when he phased. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are property of Stephanie Meyer.**_

_****Revival: an improvement in the condition or strength of something.****_

Bella Swan had done the only thing she was capable of after being left by Edward in the woods. She ran. She had to escape the memories of her first love. She knew she was weak and pathetic, but she felt it was the right solution at the time. She actually convinced her Mom, Renee, to put her in the local school's home-bound program, so she would not be forced into another new school. She quickly completed her high school requirements and started classes at the local junior college near her mom and Phil's house in Florida.

Renee could not believe how dramatic Bella was behaving over a teenage breakup, but after a short while determined her daughter needed professional help. She insisted on a therapist and Bella had been going religiously for the past five years. Bella basically lived two lives. Well, one of them was living, she was a good student and kept a part-time job the whole way through school. The other was merely existing. She did not form any real friendships. She stayed in her room 90% of the time she was home. Renee and Phil had pretty much given up trying to get her to change. It was obvious that Edward and her were not meant to be. It was ridiculous to pine away for him for so long. Renee had asked her countless times, what kind of hold did he possess over her? She feared he had abused her daughter. She was young, beautiful and smart and she was basically letting herself waste away emotionally.

Bella had recently graduated with a teaching degree. She decided on early education, because working with young children sounded like a better alternative for her. She had found herself actually enjoying her student teaching, and being around the children was the only time she felt like a real person. She had just gotten her first official job when a late night phone call that rang through the Dwyer residence changed the course of her life once again.

"Hello," Bella tentatively answered.

"Bella, this is Billy Black."

Why in the world would Billy Black call her and how did he get this number she wondered. "Yes, Billy, is something wrong?"

"I'm afraid so, Bella. I hate to be the one to tell you, but Charlie was shot in the line of duty."

Bella screamed alerting Renee and Phil, who ran into the room. "What? Is he okay?"

Billy tried to calm her down, "Yes, Bella the doctor expects him to make a full recovery, but it is going to be a long haul. He was hit in the shoulder, the bullet barely missed his aorta, but the surgeon says there was some extensive nerve damage. He is going to have endure a long process of rehabilitation. You know Charlie is a well liked and respected man in these parts. We are all willing to chip in and help as much as we can, but Bella, you are his family. I just thought maybe if you could spare a little time to come stay with him. I know it would do wonders to lift his spirits and he is going to encounter many challenges until he regains full use of that right arm. Child, I am not trying to put pressure on you, I just wanted you to know the full story. That old, stubborn fool didn't want me to call you. He was afraid to worry you."

"Billy, of course, I want to help. He's my father," she felt a wave of guilt considering her behavior over the past five years. She had not been fit to be called his daughter. "I'll be there as soon as I can book a flight. Don't tell Charlie, he'll try and convince me not to come, but I will stay and help as long as he needs me."

Bella hung up and explained the whole situation to her Mom. "Sweetie, I am proud of you for wanting to help your father, but your new job starts next week. What are you going to do about that? You're a teacher now, how do you expect to miss out on the first of the school year?"

Bella felt she did not have a choice, "I will just have to call and decline the position. I know it won't look good, but this is an emergency. Maybe I can find a job in Forks."

"Sounds like you intend to stay awhile. Are you sure you are ready for that? It seems like after all these years, you are finally making some progress. I worry about how the memories there will affect you," Charlie had no idea what Renee and Phil had dealt with over the years. Renee was sure he was not prepared to deal with Bella's true state of mind, especially since his focus would be on his own recovery.

"I have to go, Mom. If it will make you feel better, I will search out a new therapist as soon as I get settled. I want to continue to get better. I mean it, I use to not care; but now I do."

Bella was on a morning flight two days later, headed back to Forks; a place that held so many memories for her. Edward and his family had made a huge impression on her in such a short time. She had never been able to be completely honest with her doctor regarding why she was so affected by them. Their world had to remain hidden from the rest of society. If she would have confessed, she had been pining over a vampire these past five years, she would probably had been committed by now. Bella had called Billy when she confirmed her flight and he told her he would make sure he had transportation for her from the airport.

Bella, wondered when she was on the plane if Billy would send his son, Jacob. She had a few fond memories of him. He was a nice kid and she felt bad, the two of them never got to really know each other again. She had been so caught up with Edward by the time she reacquainted with Jacob, she barely gave him a second thought. "Wow, he must be at least 21 now, I guess he wasn't a kid anymore," she thought.

That final thought Bella had about Jacob had been the understatement of the decade. She did not recognize the boy she remembered at all in that giant, gorgeous man that came up to her at the airport. That was until he smiled, that still looked the same. "Wow, Jacob, I can't believe how much you have changed. You must be well over six feet. Oh my gosh; you must love body building or something."

"Actually, it's 6' 5" Bella, but yeah, I've changed a little over the past few years." He had an incredibly deep and husky voice and Bella noted he seemed mysterious as well. She was being stupid, she no idea why she made that assumption after seeing him again. She obviously read too many books. For the first time in forever, she kind of felt giddy. Jacob had a certain presence and she was confused if what she was experiencing was attraction. She did not even think that part of her functioned any longer, but if anyone was going to awaken that side of her, it would have been him.

Jacob directed Bella to his car, she wasn't sure what kind it was, "What kind of car is this, Jacob? It's cute."

"Um, thanks, Bella. It's a VW Rabbit, I rebuilt it myself when I turned 16. I pride myself in keeping it running even though I have another car now."

"I should have known, since you did such a great job on my truck. I wonder what Charlie did with it."

"He kept it, actually," which shocked the heck out of her.

"Are you kidding?"

"No, he kept it in case you ever wanted to come back."

Bella got completely quiet, she was overwrought with guilty feelings. She had been a terrible daughter, but Charlie always held out hope. She could have lost him and he would have never known how much she truly loved him. She made a promise to herself that she would spend as much time as it took making it up to him.

"Bella, are you okay? I can tell you are worried about Charlie, but he is going to be okay, thanks to Seth," he confided.

"Seth?" She vaguely remembered that name. "Do you mean Harry Clearwater's little boy?"

Jacob broke out in roaring laughter. She obviously did not get it. "Did I say something funny?"

"Yeah, it's been a long while since anyone referred to Seth as a little boy. That's all".

"Oh, yeah I guess you're right. How old is he anyway?"

"Seth just turned 20, but he appears to be even older."

"Oh, he's not as large as you, is he?" She had no idea how that was possible.

"Nope," he replied with a resounding "p". "He might like to think that he is, but I am still quite a bit bigger."

"Oh, do you all work out together or something?" Jacob laughed again.

She must be on a roll, because she had not incited that much laughter in...since never, no one laughed at anything she said. She was not funny in the least.

"So, how did Seth save my dad?"

"He works with Charlie, the perp was about to shoot him again when Seth disarmed him."

"Oh wow, you're going to have to introduce me to Seth, so I can thank him. Sounds like I owe him Charlie's life. He wasn't harmed himself, was he?"

"No, Seth is good at taking care of himself and I'm sure you will see him around. Not only does Seth work for Charlie; his mom, Sue and Charlie kind of have a thing with each other."

"My dad has a girlfriend?" She never expected to hear that.

"They don't exactly call it that, but they like each other's company. I'm sure Seth will come around and then you'll get your chance to thank him."

Jacob was about to put the car into gear, when Bella heard his phone go off. He pulled it from his pocket to read his message. It must have been a long one, because he spent quite awhile staring at the screen. She didn't want to seem nosy, so she turned the other way to stare into the parking lot. When she glanced back to Jacob, he kind of look perturbed or irritated. She was not sure what, but he had lost his sunny grin, so she made polite conversation, "Nothing bad, I hope."

"Um, no..." he didn't act like he wanted to talk about it, but he also said, "Women. I bet you can relate, huh?"

What was she suppose to say to that? Jacob had a girlfriend she presumed. Of course, someone that looked as he did would be attached. She shook her head, "Nope, not me."

"Come on, Bella. You mean to tell me there isn't someone waiting for you back in Florida?'

Despite sounding like a loser, she told the truth, "Other than my mom, no Jacob, I don't have anyone back in Florida."

Jacob sighed heavily and shook his head. He then put the car in gear and headed away from the airport towards Forks.

Bella had kind of hoped Jacob was going to carry the conversation judging by the way he was at first, but after his long text message; he remained pretty silent. Bella did not know the first thing about what might interest Jacob, so she decided it was better to sit in awkward silence than try and make small talk.

Once they drove for about 20 minutes, Jacob got talkative again. "So Bella, how long do you think you might stay with Charlie?"

"I don't know, I thought I would play it by ear. I turned down the position at the school that hired me at the last minute, so there goes that. I'm sure I will never get hired in that district again. I guess I might check into the schools in Forks. I'm pretty sure they have all their teaching positions filled, but maybe I could work as an aide or assistant."

"I bet you can find something easy. It doesn't hurt that Charlie is so respected in the community. That should help your chances. Sometimes, who you know makes all the difference."

"Where do you work?"

"Um, I actually own a garage on the rez now."

"Wow, that's amazing and you love cars, so sounds like a dream job."

"Sure, sure. It pays the bills."

"Oh, do you still live at home with Billy?"

He kind of look uncomfortable, but he answered, "Nah, I moved out this year." he got quite again, but finally admitted the rest. "I live with my girlfriend, Nadia."

"Oh, that's nice. Have you been together a long time?" Bella knew she was so far removed from the dating scene, normal relationships, etc. She just assumed Jacob probably had known this girl awhile, if he had left his father to move in with her. She remembers how dedicated he was to Billy.

"Um well, she and I met almost a year ago."

"Wow, Jacob. You move fast, I guess you must really be in love." She had said too much, and realized how badly she was embarrassing herself. She instantly blushed and covered her mouth with her hand essentially stopping herself from saying anything further.

Jacob didn't say much else except, "Yeah, something like that."

She couldn't help but wonder what they hell that meant. Either he was very in love or not? Jacob Black was making her confused and she could not figure out why. She had done her best at keeping everyone at arm's length since Edward and now for some stupid reason she cared if Jake lived with a girl name Nadia. She did know one thing, she did not like that name. It sounded harsh to her ears. Jacob soon pulled into Charlie's driveway which looked precisely the same as the day she had left. Of course, Charlie would not change anything. His resistance to change was somewhat comforting to her, if she was completely honest. It just meant she could always count on him to be what she expected. Jacob got out of the car and retrieved her luggage. She caught herself staring at the way his back muscles moved and flexed through his shirt. He truly had grown into a handsome man. Was that word even enough to describe him? It probably wasn't. Bella knew there were much better, descriptive words to use, but seeing how he was taken. It did not seem appropriate to recite them even in her own mind.

"You coming, Bells?" Jacob asked from the porch.

"Oh yeah, sure." Dammit, did he see her staring at him? How humiliating. She stumbled on the stairs to further her embarrassment. God, she hoped Jacob did not come around too often, because one car ride with him had turned her into a bumbling fool. Of course, there was another part of her, that kind of wished she could see him again. She had thought way back when she first came to Forks that the two of them, might have become good friends. That was until she pretty much alienated everyone else from her world except Edward and the Cullen's.

Charlie was supposed to come home in the morning. He still didn't know she was in town. She debated whether to go to the hospital, but she decided her time would best be spent readying the house and maybe going grocery shopping. She looked to see that Jacob was still standing there, so she thanked him again for the ride.

"No problem, is there anything else you need?" Jacob said.

"Well, do you know if my truck might start? I really need to go buy food."

"Um, I doubt it, since it has been setting up a long while, but I can see what I can do a few days from now. I am backed up at work."

"Oh, no rush, I could walk if I only get a few things." She was not about to ask for special favors.

"No, Bella. You don't have to do that. I tell you what, I will send Seth over here early this evening. Would that work?"

"I thought you said Seth works for my dad. You kind of make it sound like he works for you, Jake," she didn't know why she gave him the nickname, but it slipped out. He appeared to like it because a huge grin swept over his face.

"Something like that Bella. Seth helps me out with some tribal functions. He works closely with me and a few other guys. You might see us all around from time to time. I'll make sure he gives you a lift to the store, so no taking off on foot. You hear me?"

"Yes, sir." She saluted him, to only support the perception he must have that she is complete and total dork.

He laughed and headed out the door and like a moron she quickly ran over to the window to watch him drive away.

_**Thanks so much for reading.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**~A/N Bella comes off as slightly neurotic, but I think it fits with the way she has existed since Edward left her. I am a Jella shipper to the core, but when I had this idea and started to write Seth; I became very conflicted. That is when I decided the story was going to be very angsty and complicated. More about Nadia will be revealed soon. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight**_

Chapter 2

Bella was glad she had purchased her own mobile Internet plan because the idea that Charlie had wifi was slim and none. Her first order of business was to get online and find a therapist. She was already having a mini meltdown since being left alone in Charlie's house. It was safer to only refer to it as his home. She had always done the same living with her Mom. It was Phil and Renee's. She could not wrap her mind around how she had behaved around Jacob. It was absolutely ridiculous, they were kind of like old friends, but she completely made a fool of herself in front of him. She figured her therapist choices would be few, and they were. There were only four that seemed like possibilities. She refused to see a male therapist, so she was left with four lady psychologists in a 50 mile radius.

Dr. Michele Thompson had a yelp review and it wasn't bad, so she inputted her number into her cell phone. She wasn't sure when Jacob would get her car running, but she took a chance and called to get an appointment on the books. The receptionist said Dr. Thompson would be able to see her next Monday at 4, so she confirmed that time would work for her even though she was not sure she had a way to get there. She meant what she said, she wanted to continue to get better. She was well aware that taking so long to over come a broken heart was borderline insane. However, Bella was impressed with how far she had come in the past year. She no longer stared at the wall during therapy sessions or mindlessly doodled in her journals for her homework. She was actively contributing in the healing process and no longer felt like she was wasting Renee's money.

Thinking about money reminded her she had to get a job. She was 23 years old and not about to make Charlie support her. She called the school administration and inquired about any kind of positions that might be open. As soon as the secretary heard the name, she asked about Charlie. She guessed Jacob was right, being Charlie's daughter in a small town was going to be to her advantage. The lady told Bella she was in luck, that they had one aide position yet to be filled and if she could get there before noon tomorrow with her resume and credentials; she was sure she would be a perfect fit. Bella again agreed, wondering if she had a ride. Charlie's cruiser was not even at the house, so she was hoping this Seth kid showed up and was nice enough to help her out. She hated asking a total stranger for all these favors. She kind of wished Jacob would have left his number, but she doubted his girlfriend liked him handing his phone number out to a bunch of women. The reality was she was an old family friend, not any woman and Jacob should be able to give his number to her if he wanted. Ugh, what kind of bitchy girlfriend did Jacob even have that he could not talk to her?

She shook those thoughts from her head. She did not even know that Jacob's girlfriend was a bitch. In fact, she highly doubted someone as nice as Jacob would have a girlfriend like that. She had to be nice, as well, even if her name, Nadia sounded kinda bitchy. "Gah," Bella yelled at herself. She closed up her laptop and put away her phone and got busy with cleaning. That was the only sane thing she had done since getting off the plane this morning.

She hurriedly unpacked, which was easy. Her room was virtually the same. It had been kept clean and tidy. There was very little dust on the furniture. Speaking of furniture, she had to get rid of that rocking chair or there was no way she was getting any sleep tonight. She changed into some sweats and a tank top, pulled her hair high on her head and went about getting the floors vacuumed and the bathroom cleaned. She was saving the kitchen for last because she knew it would be the biggest task. She already dreaded the moldy, half-eaten take out containers that most likely filled the fridge. She ended up turning on some loud music she had saved to her laptop. Her therapist finally had gotten her over her aversion to music. She asked if she enjoyed music before Edward, which she replied "yes". She was purposeful in choosing songs that had nothing to do with him and the more she listened to, the more she realized very little of it reminded her of Edward. That had been a figment of her imagination, when virtually everything brought up painful memories.

She finally had tackled the refrigerator and it was worse than she imagined. She had completely lost track of time, and did not hear the front door open. She had been blasting Pink trying to carry that stupid rocking chair down the stairs without scraping up the walls when deep voice scared the hell out of her. "Need some help?"

Bella screamed and jumped almost losing her footing with the chair, but a pair of strong hands reached out and stabilized her. "Oops, didn't mean to scare you. Here let me have that." Then those hands reached in and took the chair and lifted it all the way over Bella's head like it weighed nothing. She finally caught a glimpse of the face attached to the body that had rescued her from falling. It was a Quileute man, obviously. What the hell was going on in La Push? Bella had spent a lot of time there when she was young, she doesn't remember anyone looking like that. First Jacob and now this guy. He was not as tall as Jacob, but he was abnormally muscular. He was breathtaking, and could absolutely give Jake a run for his money in the best looking category. It had to be Seth, he was suppose to come by.

"Hey, Bella, sorry about that again, I'm Seth, by the way," he sat the chair on the living room floor and extended his hand to her. She meet his hand with hers which was completely dwarfed in his as they shook hands. "Where would you like this chair?" he asked as he released her hand.

"Could you burn it?" She did not know what else to do with it, but she thought that seemed like the right thing to do.

"Um...okay, are you sure about that?" He was looking at her like she was crazy, it was a look she was very use to.

"Yep, my Dad won't care. It holds bad memories for me."

Seth leaned in and appeared to take a whiff of the chair, "Yeah, I think you're right, I'll carry it back out to Charlie's leaf pile and take care of it for you."

"Holy crap, he smelled it. What the heck kind of memories did Seth think she meant?" She pondered. It wasn't like she could say "oh yeah, my ex use to sit in it and watch me sleep. Did I mention he was a vampire and he abandoned me in the woods?" While Seth was out burning the chair, she thought she should go make herself presentable for the store. She thought she should holler to him, in case he came back in and didn't see her.

She looked out the back door and saw Seth. He already had a fire going that quick. She noted the smoke from it burned a funny color. It must be a by-product of the ancient fabric. It was extremely weird to her that Seth wasn't alone. Two other equally large Quileute men were standing by him in nothing but shorts. They didn't even have shoes on. It was September, for crying out loud, what kind of grown man walks around bare foot? She halted her spying session, and called to Seth, "Hey Seth, I'm just running up to change. Are you able to run me to the store? Jacob said you would."

"Sure, Bella, whenever you're ready."

Both of those men stared at her like she had two heads or something. She watched them say one more thing to Seth and then they disappeared in the woods. That made it even more weird. Did they actually roam the woods dressed like that?

Bella quickly changed and freshened up in the bathroom. She slowly came down the stairs not wanting to appear too eager in case Seth was waiting for her. He was patiently sitting on the sofa. He smiled as soon as he saw her. He had such a nice, friendly smile. It was catching, so she smiled back and then nervously caught her lip between her teeth. He stood up and she was again shocked at his height. "You ready?"

"Yeah, just let me grab my bag and my list. Are you sure this isn't putting you out?"

"No, I'm off work, so my evening is free. I'm happy to help out, Bella. It's a nice thing you're doing, coming home to take care of Charlie," he was making her sound like she was doing something extraordinarily, but where else could she be. She was all he had.

"I'm only sorry it took Charlie getting hurt to bring me back. I hope he doesn't take that the wrong way."

"He won't, trust me, he's going to be thrilled to see you. He talks about you constantly."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, he's very proud of you, Bella."

"Well, if you take me to the store, the least you can do is share dinner with me tonight or do you have other plans?"

"Are you kidding, I never turn down a meal. Charlie says you're a good cook, is that true?"

Bella shrugged, "Some people think so, you'll just have to wait and be your own judge." Seth led her outside to his truck. "This is a nice truck, Seth."

"Yeah, of course, Jake helped me out with it. He has all of us...um, all his buddies set up with nice rides."

"Jacob is a nice guy from what I remember. He promised to get my truck going again, so I won't have to bum rides off of people for too long."

"Ah, maybe I'll tell him to hold off on that. I don't mind taking you places, it will give us a chance to get to know one another. You know our parents are secretly dating?"

"Yeah, Jake mentioned that. Oh, does that mean one day you might be my brother?" She said it as a joke forgetting for a second that she isn't funny.

"No Bella, please don't think of me as your little brother, okay?"

She laughed remembering how funny Jacob thought it was she called him a little boy. "You know, Seth, I swear I have this vague memory from when I was about 6 or 7 and you were in a playpen in nothing but a diaper. I think that was the last time I saw you."

"Aw, come on Bella...why does that have to be your only memory of me? It's probably true, my Mom kept me in there a bunch because I was a bit of a troublemaker. I was always getting into stuff I wasn't suppose to. Maybe you and I will have to create some new memories."

She did not know how to respond to that, so she sat with her hands in her lap looking at Forks out the window. It was virtually the same. No wonder Charlie never changed, this town never changed. She had no idea how to continue conversing with Seth. It seemed like he was pretty flirty, but he was probably like that all the time. She had pretty much spent the past five years avoiding the opposite sex, and in a matter of a few hours she had allowed two different ones to have an affect on her. Monday could not come fast enough.

She hated asking another favor so fast, but she had no choice she needed that job. "Hey Seth, do you by any chance know where I could find a ride to the school tomorrow. I sort of have an interview."

"What time?"

"I have to be there anytime, between 8 and 12."

"I'll be at work, but you can borrow my truck," he volunteered.

"What? No I couldn't ask that. You barely even know me. What would you drive?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll get one of the guys to come with me to drop it off and give me a ride. You're Charlie's daughter, it's not like you are a complete stranger. I am pretty sure Mom is bringing Charlie home about 10 in case you want to go early and get back before he gets home."

"Oh, okay. Are you sure about the truck?"

"Yes, I'm sure, I'll leave my keys under that mat, no one would mess with a car in the police chief's driveway. We all do that."

They got out at the supermarket. Bella wasn't sure if Seth wanted to join her inside, but she invited him and he accepted. It was actually the most fun she had shopping since she could remember. Who was she kidding, this was hands down the most fun she had had in years. Maybe coming back to Forks was exactly what she needed.

Seth continued his silliness as he rode the back of the shopping cart out into the parking lot. For a second Bella worried he might flip the flimsy cart due to his size, but he seemed to have an unnatural grace. It seemed odd for someone so massive. She got into the truck while he unloaded the groceries into the back. He climbed in and she spoke up, "You are nothing but a big kid Seth. I was fooled by your looks for a bit, but now I am not so sure you are 20."

"Oh yes, I am. I turned 20 two weeks ago, and have the picture to prove it. He pulled out his phone and showed her a picture of himself sitting in front of a cake with what appeared to be twenty candles. There was a beautiful young woman standing next to him. Perhaps, Seth had a girlfriend too.

"Who's the pretty girl?" Bella had to know.

"That's just Leah. Remember, I have an older sister?" he reminded her.

"Oh yeah, well she is so pretty. I am jealous of her hair."

"Her hair?"

"Yes, hair is an important feature."

"Girls...you are weird Bella and besides I like your hair just fine. It kinda goes with your face which I also like."

Stupid blush, Bella did not know how to take a compliment. She blushed as red as a tomato as soon as he said that.

Seth insisted on carrying all the groceries himself. Bella got busy putting things away. She asked if he minded having something simple, because she was starting to feel the affects of the time change. She promised to make him something more substantial next time he visited. She actually looked forward to spending more time with him. She made a simple soup and hot sandwiches, which Seth raved about even though she whipped them up in less than half an hour.

"Bella, if this is your idea of a simple meal, I might plan to have all my dinners over here. Although, I doubt Charlie would like that too much. He probably would get sick of me after working with me all day."

"How long do you think Charlie will be off work?" Bella had no idea what to expect as far as Charlie's recovery.

"Well, Mom said he told the doctor he wanted to be at least be approved for desk duty in about four weeks. He is pretty stubborn so I can see that happening."

"Seth, Jacob told me you saved him. I can never thank you enough."

"Bella, no thanks needed, I simply reacted and it happened to work out. Besides, Charlie has been like a second father to me since I lost my father and I would do anything for him."

Bella looked at the clock and it was getting late, she needed to be up early for the interview. Seth got the hint when he saw her. "Um, I guess I should head out. I had a really nice time, Bella."

Bella felt a wave a dread come over her. Could she really stay in this house alone after remembering all those nights, Edward spent in her room? Renee and Phil rarely left her alone with good reason. They were the only ones who knew how far Bella's despair had carried her.

Seth picked up on her nervousness somehow. "You okay? Is there anything else you need besides my truck out front bright and early tomorrow?"

"No, I was just thinking how I am kind of a scaredy cat, I don't stay alone too often." She didn't know why it was so easy to confess her fears to Seth.

"Oh, Bella, remember what I said, no one bothers the chief's place. Trust me when I tell you, this place is always protected."

She did not exactly know what that meant but if Seth was saying it, she believed him. He had the most trustworthy face she had ever encountered. She was in no way expecting his next move, but he reached for her and pulled her into a warm embrace. She could not remember the last time she had been hugged and she had certainly never felt a hug like that. Seth was unnaturally warm. In fact he was so warm, she asked, "Seth, you're pretty hot."

"Thanks Bella, you're not so bad yourself," he laughed.

She was instantly mortified, "I...I meant, your skin seems really warm. Do you think you might be sick? Um, not that you don't look good...I mean you are handsome and all. I..." She couldn't get anything else out of her betraying mouth.

"Naw, I know what you mean. It's a Quileute thing, we run a little warm."

"Oh, okay, well thanks again for everything and I promise I will take good care of your truck."

He walked out of the house and she found herself once again staring out the window to watch someone drive away for the second time that day.

_**Thanks so much for reading.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N I'm getting questions about imprinting and all I'm going to say is this story is going to include imprinting and the turmoil it causes._**

**_Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer_**

Chapter 3

Bella surprisingly got a good night's sleep thanks to jet lag and benadryl. She got up at 6:30, got a shower and ate a lite breakfast. She peered out the window at 7:30 and there the truck sat, just as Seth had promised. She left a little early for the school, so she could be there when they opened up at 8. She wanted to have time to get a nice lunch on before Charlie came home. The receptionist met with her and glanced at her resume. "Bella, it's obvious, you're more than qualified for this position. I'll let you in a little secret. One of the Kindergarten teachers is going on maternity leave the last two months of the school year. I know they haven't filled that position. If you do well, I bet they'll offer you the position and if you want to stick around next year, maybe you'll find a permanent job."

Bella had no idea if she planned to stay next year. She wasn't even sure if she going to make it to the last two months of school, but she acted enthusiastic anyway. She had become a professional at faking, so she did what she thought bettered her chances. The administration office told her if she had the time the principal at the elementary school would like to meet with her. It was still only 8:30, so she headed straight there. The principal must have liked her as well because she was given the job after only a few minutes. It was at least half the salary she was promised in Jacksonville, but that was to be expected.

She made it back to the house at 9:45, not exactly too much time before she expected her Dad home, but she still had plenty of time before lunch. Seth had been considerate enough to leave his number in the truck, so Bella decided to share her good news with him.

**ur truck went to good use...i got the job**

**btw, i didn't wreck it**

Why did she suddenly want Seth to think she was witty? Maybe it had to do with the fact he had the sweetest laugh she had ever heard. Although, she wouldn't hear him laugh when he read her text.

She went around the house, to make sure she had taken care of everything and it looked good, so she turned on the TV to keep her mind off her nervousness. It was true she was apprehensive about seeing Charlie again. She flipped it directly to the Food network. Her phone vibrated.

**i know...**

**and congrats**

What did he mean "I know"? Did he know she got a job? Did word travel that fast in Forks? Or was he talking about her not wrecking his truck? That must be it, Seth was a cop, so he would be the first to hear about an accident in Forks. It wasn't like he was having her followed or something.

A car door slammed outside. She clicked the television off and stood up to go to the door.

She heard Charlie as well as a woman's voice just outside the door, so she opened it before they had the chance.

"Bells! Bells, what are you doing here?" he looked at Sue. "I told you not to worry Bella."

"For crying out loud Charlie, she's your daughter. Did you really think no one would tell her you were shot." Bella thought they were so cute. Sue smiled sweetly at Bella and gave her a hug. "Don't listen to your father, he's very happy you're here. You've really grown into a beautiful young woman, Bella." She liked Sue instantly. No wonder Seth was so appealing to her. Friendliness must have run in the family. Bella wondered if Leah was just as friendly.

"Come on in, Dad. You just got out of the hospital, you should sit down. How are you feeling?"

"Like it's time for my next pain pill, but first give your ole man a hug, Bells. It's been a long time." Charlie had only visited her twice in the past five years. "How long are you staying? Don't you start a new job next week?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I start a new job at Forks Elementary, Monday, so I'm staying as long as you need me." Charlie couldn't hide his excitement when she said that.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Positive, Dad, It's a done deal. Now, have a seat so Sue can explain your medications to me and I'll get started on a special welcome home dinner."

Charlie got situated in his favorite chair and Sue and Bella got busy in the kitchen. She let Bella know what he was taking and how often to give it. He had to wear his specialized sling at all times. She said Charlie managed in the shower this morning at the hospital, but if she needed Seth to help to call him anytime. Charlie would probably rather lie on the floor and die than let him assist him with the shower. Bella more than understood that, because she was equally modest. Sue explained Charlie's rehab schedule to Bella. She was going to have to see if she could get a break on Fridays, because that was the only day that didn't have arrangements for him. Sue asked what she could do to help, so Bella let her chop vegetables and peel potatoes. She was cooking smothered steak with mashed potatoes and gravy. She was also going to saute green beans and mushrooms because it was one of Charlie's favorite sides. She had rolls rising on the counter as well.

"Wow, Bella, this is quite a feast for the middle of the day. Charlie is going to be thrilled. He griped constantly about the hospital food." Sue had the rest of the day off, so she was staying for lunch.

Bella got the idea, she should send Seth a message, in case he had a lunch break.

**making a bunch of food, can you get away for lunch?**

Seth replied immediately.

**not until 1, is that too late?**

Bella promised his food would be ready.

**nope, I'll have a plate ready for u...c u soon**

Once Bella got the steaks seasoned, she put them in the oven on low to cook them nice and slow, so they would be tender. She peaked in on Charlie to find him sound asleep in his recliner. The pain pills worked quick. She noticed a car she had not seen before outside, so she went over to the window to investigate. Her truck was pulled out of the side garage and a pair of jean clad legs were sticking out the front. That could only be one person, and Bella felt her heart skip a beat. He was fixing her truck and she was undecided if she had gotten excited about the truck or that Jacob had come back.

Bella went outside, not wanting disturb Jacob, but she should see if he needed anything. As soon as she approached the truck, he said, "Hey Bells, can you hand me that wrench out of my tool box?"

"What does it look like?"

His hand came out into view with a silver tool in his grip, "Like this, only bigger. It's been awhile since I worked on this truck and I picked up the wrong size."

Bella quickly found what he was talking about and switched out the tools for him. "Thanks Jake for getting to my truck so soon. I've got good news. You were right, I got the job."

"That's great, I knew you would. Hopefully, I'll get it going for you, but I may have to go back to the shop for some parts."

"Oh okay, can I get you something to drink?"

"Not right now."

Bella felt a little awkward as she continued to talk to his feet. She started to head back into the house when she remembered she had a huge lunch cooking. Seth was coming, so she went back and invited Jacob as well.

"Sure, sure lunch sounds good, just let me know when it's ready."

The aromas soon began to permeate the house and Charlie's nose woke him up. "Bells, you didn't have to do all this for me; but it sure smells great. Is it ready?"

"Almost Dad, the rolls will be out in about five minutes. I'm going to go out and get Jacob."

"Jake's here?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, he is working on my truck. Thanks for keep it. I was really surprised to hear it was still here."

Bella stepped outside again to find Jacob had come out from under the truck. He was standing at what she assumed was his other car. It was a Dodge Challenger, she only knew about it because Phil had a thing for muscle cars and there were always car magazines around the house. He was on the phone, so she didn't want to interrupt. He waved to her and she mouthed, "Lunch is ready." He held up his finger signaling he needed a minute. It was only 12:30, but Seth shouldn' t mind if they started without him. Bella went inside and made everyone's plate. Charlie advised her that she should put more on Jacob's plate, that she would not believe how much those boys could put away. She decided to go ahead and make Seth's plate to make sure he had his own adequate portion.

Jacob came inside and headed upstairs to the bathroom. Bella noticed he had several smudges on his arm and face. His shirt looked pretty clean and she wondered if he had changed it before he came inside. She could not help but watch him climb the stairs, but Jacob must have had a sixth sense because he turned around and caught her. That was the second time she had been busted, and he seemed to enjoy the attention. He gave her a cocky grin and then disappeared into the bathroom.

Bella sat down at the table next to Sue. Jacob caught sight of the biggest plate of food and sat across from her. He immediately dug in, "Oh Bella, this is so good. Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"Trial and error...food network. My Mom stinks at it, so it was a survival technique."

"I haven't had food this good in forever. Thanks, it really hits the spot."

"Oh, doesn't your girlfriend cook for you?"

Jacob looked up, Sue had a funny look on her face. Did she say something wrong?

"Naw, she isn't really into cooking. "

"Oh, well I could send some simple recipes home with you if you think she'd like to try them." She thought she was being nice.

"Um, no thanks. Then I'd have to admit I've been telling people she can't cook. Just forget I mentioned it."

Jacob went back to enjoying his food.

The four of them made small talk. Bella was kind of jealous that Jacob could so easily carry a conversation with both Sue and Charlie. She was more of an observer than a participant. Jacob turned to her when he was done and thanked her again. "Bella, I am going to have to go back to the garage in a little bit. I need a part and hopefully I have it there. If not, I will have to order it for you."

Charlie spoke up, "Whatever you need, Jake...let me know and I'll pay you."

"Dad, I've got money. I can pay Jacob."

Jacob looked up and towards the door. Bella saw a car pass by and realized Seth must have gotten dropped off. She jumped up and went to the door to let him in. He must have felt comfortable with Bella after their prior evening together, because he picked her up and spun her around. "Mmm, smells good in here Bella. Second time, in a few hours you're feeding me. I might have to marry you."

Bella felt warm all over when he said that. Of course, he was joking. She giggled and blushed. She went to reheat Seth's plate and told him to have a seat. He followed her into the kitchen to wash his hands at the sink. She was getting the plate out of the microwave and felt him sneak up behind her. He reached around to take the plate from her and made contact with her body again. Bella thought he was being overly friendly. She didn't exactly mind, but she wasn't quite ready for it.

Seth had a seat and started to eat. Bella offered Jake one more helping but he declined. She was about to sit down by Seth, because Charlie and Sue had gone back into the living room. Jacob stood up and went to the sink to wash his dish. She didn't expect him to do that, so she followed him instead of sitting down. "Here Jacob, I'll get that, you are doing enough fixing my truck."

Sue yelled to both of them. "I'll clean the kitchen when everyone is done. Leave it, Bella."

Jacob took the sponge out of Bella's hand and she didn't know what happened, but being so close to him made her feel funny inside. He had touched her hand and she had to admit to herself that despite all her inner conflicts; she in fact was attracted to Jacob. It didn't matter that she knew he had a girlfriend. She liked it when he stood close to her, and she wanted him to touch her again. This was not good, she couldn't wait to discuss it with her new therapist.

Jacob went ahead with cleaning his own dish, so Bella joined Seth. "Thanks so much for inviting me today. This is the best lunch I've had since starting on the force. No offense, Mom," he yelled to Sue.

"It's fine, Seth. You're right," she called back.

"Bells," Jake wanted her attention. "I'm going to check on a couple of more things on the truck, but would you like to ride out to my shop with me in a bit?"

Seth spoke up before she had a chance to answer, "Why? Do you think Bella likes cars, Jake?"

Bella did not miss the look Jacob gave him. He might have seemed extremely nice and friendly, but for a second Jacob looked scary. She wondered if they had a disagreement prior to this lunch, because they barely had acknowledged each other except for that interchange.

"I thought Bella might like to take a ride to La Push and see my shop. She and I are still trying to catch up," Jacob responded.

"Sure, Jacob. I would like to go," she hoped that would be the end the tension that had just risen up in the room.

Seth shrugged and stood up to take his plate to the sink. Instead of heading out front, Jacob went to the back door. He didn't even speak, he only motioned with his head and Seth followed him and shut the door behind them. Bella couldn't help herself. She headed over to the sink to continue washing dishes, but really she only wanted to look out the window. They both looked very serious. She wasn't a lip reader, but it was obvious Jake said the "f" word a couple of times. They were arguing. There was no way, it was about her. She was not stupid enough to believe that. Who knows, maybe it was something about tribal functions. Jacob mentioned that he and Seth performed duties on the reservation. She decided to stop spying and went to join Sue and Charlie. Seth came back in and gave his Mom a kiss on the cheek. "Come out to my truck, Bella. I have something to ask you."

"Um okay," so Bella followed him. Jacob was back under her truck again.

She walked Seth to his truck and he opened the door but didn't get in. He thanked her for lunch again, and then made a point to tell her that if her truck wasn't ready, he had Monday off and he would give her a ride to and from work.

"That's very generous of you, Seth. Um...I hate to ask, but could you drive me to Port Angeles after work? I don't know who else to ask." She inadvertently whispered the rest, "I have a doctor's appointment."

"Are you sick?"

"Uh, not exactly, but can you? I really need to go."

"On one condition, you let me take you out to dinner afterwards."

A loud clanking noise could be heard under her truck and Jacob yelled, "Dammit."

She and Seth stopped talking, but Jacob didn't move from under the truck.

"Okay, I will be in touch with you this weekend. Thanks, and before she could step away, Seth was hugging her again. She wondered if he noticed how her body stiffened. She wanted to avoid that reaction, but it happened every time like a reflex.

Bella went back in the house to make sure Sue and Charlie would be fine with her taking a ride with Jacob. She was in her room changing, when she heard a knock at her door. She said, "Just a second," and quickly put on a different top that didn't smell like food.

She opened the door to see a very relaxed Jacob, the one that she liked so much better than the angry version he had been earlier. "You ready?"

"Sure,"

She followed him out to his car. He even opened the door for her. "Phil would love this car, Jake. Mind if I take a picture of it later?"

He laughed, "Of course not, I'll take one of you with it, if you want."

"No, just the car's fine."

Bella had forgotten how peaceful the drive was to La Push. Jacob told her more about his garage. His friends Paul, Embry and Quil worked with him. Jacob seemed to have a lot more going for himself than she did. He owned a business and was in a serious relationship as well as being involved with his tribe. He was two years younger than her as well. Oh well, at least she had gotten her degree even if she still lived with at least one of her parents and did not have any friends.

They pulled into the garage, but she didn't see much activity going on. "It never fails, I take off and those jokers quit early. Oh well, I'll make them work extra tomorrow, come on in Bella. You can sit in my office while I search my inventory.

Jacob led her to a small room with a desk and a second hand loveseat. She sat there waiting for him. The office didn't appear to have any decorations. Bella saw the back of a picture frame on the desk, she was debating on whether she should go have a look. She was pretty certain, there would be a picture of Nadia in that frame. She was very tempted to take a look but Jacob came back in the office.

"Sorry about that, looks like I need to order the parts. I know you are anxious to have your truck going again."

"It's fine. Seth is giving me a ride."

"So you and Seth seem to have hit off fast," it seemed more of statement than a question.

"Yeah, he's easy to talk to and he's funny and so nice."

"Yep, he's a regular golden boy," he said with a heavy dose of sarcasm.

"Are you upset with him for some reason?"

"Nope."

"But I..." she didn't want to admit her snooping, but she found it easy to be honest with Jacob, "I thought I heard you two arguing in my yard after lunch."

"Aw that was nothing, something Seth was suppose to do for me. I was only reminding him."

Bella decided to stand up, she assumed they would be leaving since Jacob could not find the parts he was searching for. Jacob approached her with a very serious look on his face. "Bella, I wanted you to know, I'm really happy you're back. I know we didn't get to spend much time together before, but I really like spending time with you."

She thought he was going to hug her, but then he turned away. She caught him staring down at his desk. His jaw clenched and he looked incredibly tense to her. "Thanks Jacob, I agree. You're a nice friend. It's been so long since I had one and now I feel lucky to have both you and Seth. You two have both me so kind to me." She guessed she had said something wrong, because Jacob had that look again. It was the one she found scary. "I'm sorry...do you have some sort of inner conflict going on? Did I say something wrong?"

"Inner conflict? Are you trying to psycho analyze me, Bella? Did you get that from your shrink?" his voice was cold and distant.

She could not believe how a few seconds ago he was so happy to have her around and now he was throwing her problems in her face. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Screw you, Jacob. I was trying to be understanding. I don't know how you know that about me, but I guess I'm big joke to you. I'm sure you and all your friends had a good laugh about the crazy girl that was left in the woods." She headed towards the door to leave forgetting that Jake was her stupid ride. He grabbed her wrist as she reached for the door handle.

"Wait, Bells, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I did? I've just got some personal stuff hanging over my head. Damn, please forgive me...I know you're just being thoughtful. Come here," and Jacob pulled her into a hug. For once, her body didn't go rigid. She let herself melt into his embrace. He was so strong and so warm. Seth was right, it must have been a Quileute thing. She should pull away, because friends don't usually hold onto a hug so long, but she couldn't bear to do it. He wasn't stepping away, in fact, she felt him hold on a little tighter. His right hand went to her hair, and he let it make a pass down the length of it before he took his large fingers to stroke her cheek.

"It's okay, Jake...I say stupid stuff a lot too. Usually not out loud, but I forgive you."

They were still very close when the door opened. In walked a man wearing only a pair of cutoffs. Bella was pretty sure he was one of the guys she saw disappear into the woods the day before. He spoke to Jacob, "You told me to give you a heads up, you got about 3 minutes, tops."

Jake moved away from Bella and walked in a circle around his garage. He pulled at his hair in frustrated manner. Bella guessed whatever this guy was talking about. It must have been bad news.

Jake finally spoke up, "Bella, this is Paul." He had a deviant little smirk on his lips and Bella took an instant dislike towards him. "He's going to have to give you a ride back to Charlie's."

"What?" She didn't want to go anywhere with him.

"I'll let you know about the truck later as soon as I get the parts ordered, but I've got something to do now. You have to go," he said abruptly almost rude.

That creepy guy, Paul put his arm around her and walked them out the door. He guided her to his truck. She kept shrugging her shoulder to try and convince him to drop his arm, but he wouldn't take a hint. About that time, she recognized Jacob's red VW pull up. It was her. She was beautiful. Bella could tell even through the glare of the car window. She exited the car and briefly gave Bella and Paul a look, neither of them even acknowledge each other. She walked into the garage. Well, that was exactly what Bella needed to see. Nadia was so exotic, she seriously had no flaws. Bella would never be able to compete with that, she was plain vanilla; always would be. Jacob liked her friendship, but she was reading too much into anything that she thought had transpired between the two of them.

Finally, Paul took his arm off of her to let her sit in the truck. She pushed herself against the door hoping to stay as far from him as possible.

"Where to darling?"

"Charlie's, where else?"

"Okay, have it your way, I thought you might want me to give you a tour or something."

"No thanks, I need to get back."

"You want some free advice, you seem skiddish?"

"No, I'm good," the last thing she needed was his advice.

"Stay away from Jake."

She frowned at him. Who was this idiot?

"Um, thanks but Jake and I are friends."

"You're wrong. Jake doesn't have friends...not anymore."

She didn't want to talk to him, so she didn't even respond. She just watched the landscape go by and was thankful Paul drove really fast, so she could get back to Charlie's and away from him as soon as possible.

_**Thanks for reading. **_

_**As the story continues, Bella will be faced with a huge dilemma. I know some people will be disappointed no matter which one she chooses, but I'm very interested to hear from you. Are you rooting for Seth or Jacob in this fic?**_


	4. Chapter 4

**_~A/N I am getting the feeling everyone likes Seth way more than Jacob. Well, it is true, Jacob is going to come across as a jerk quite often in this story. There's a good reason for that, so don't hate on him too much. This is a short update, the next will be longer. It's only going to get more complicated from here on out. Thanks to all those reviewers that dropped me a note. I always love hearing from you._**

**_Copyright disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer_**

Chapter 4

Bella warmed Charlie some leftovers with toast because he wanted to make a sandwich. There wasn't enough for her, but she had lost her appetite so she only made a small bowl of cold cereal. She and her Dad visited a little before she could tell his evening pain pill was kicking in. "I better help you upstairs, Dad before you get too groggy."

"Sure thing, Bells. You don't have to help, I can make it."

She still made a point to follow him closely in case he was woozy. He spent some time in the bathroom and then headed off to his room. Bella told him not to hesitate to call her anytime during the night if he needed something. He was looking forward to a peaceful night's rest without nurses coming in and out of his room. Bella decided to get a long, hot shower. A familiar twinge started running down her arm as the water cascaded down her body. She hadn't felt that sensation in awhile. It was most likely brought on from the current stress she felt over Jacob. She could not believe he dismissed her so abruptly and made her go with that Paul guy. She vanquished all thoughts of Jacob and cleared her mind. She focused on taking deep breaths and relaxing just as her doctor had instructed her. She could not go down that road again, especially at Charlie's. He was not equipped to deal with it and she never wanted him to know the truth. She was very embarrassed about it. The tingling and urge finally passed, so she finished up her shower.

She wasn't exactly tired yet, so she headed downstairs to watch a little TV. She wasn't there too long, before there was a soft knock at the door. It was after 9:30, and she wondered who in the world it was. She pulled the curtains aside and peered out the window. A smile appeared on her face when she realized who it was. She opened up the door.

"Hey, Seth, what's up?"

"Um sorry to show up without calling, but I wondered if you wanted to hang out? Also, my mom baked these cookies for Charlie. They're his favorite, oatmeal chocolate chip. I told her I'd bring them over."

Seth had a small container in his hands that he handed to her. She peeled one side open to take a peek. "Those look great, but Charlie is already sound asleep. You and I may have to sample some before he gets into these tomorrow. Come on in, we can watch some TV."

Seth looked relieved she had invited him inside. Bella fixed a small plate of cookies for them to share and two glasses of cold milk. Seth was flipping through the channels. She had been watching a lifetime movie, but she guessed that did not interest him too much. He stopped on a cartoon that she didn't recognize. She looked at him and he smiled, "Come on Bella, it's really funny. Haven't you ever watched Regular Show?"

"No, can't say that I have, but I'll watch it." Bella took a seat next to Seth. There was a lot of couch left beside her, but for some reason, she was drawn to sit close to him. At first, Bella thought the cartoon was extremely stupid, but Seth seemed to be enjoying it. Before she knew, she was also laughing at the silly antics of the characters. Seth elbowed her, "See...I told you it was funny." He reached down for a second cookie. "Another episode?" he questioned.

"Sure, why not?"

They started on another one, and this time Bella caught onto the jokes early on. She and Seth were really comfortable. She swears she could feel the heat radiate off of his body and it was so soothing to her. She usually watched TV covered with a blanket, but with Seth there, she didn't need it. Seth eventually caught a hold of her hand and the thought crossed her mind, it was too soon. What kind of message was she sending him, but she dismissed those thoughts and laced her fingers with his. They watched one more episode and then Seth turned off the TV. She felt nervous about what might be on his mind.

Seth turned to face her, "This is okay, isn't it?" he briefly held up their joined hands. Bella slightly nodded, but she was obviously nervous. "I know we just met, Bella, but I really like your company. I want to spend more time with you. Do you feel the same way?"

She couldn't help herself, she let his hand go. She had to be up front with him, he was way too nice to lead on. "Seth, yes, I like spending time with you, but I'm not like other girls."

He interrupted her, "I can tell, that's why I like you."

"Look, I don't know how much you know about my past when I lived here before, but I have a lot of unresolved issues. I think you will find out sooner than later; I'm probably the last girl you'd ever want to get involved with. I'm being completely honest because you deserve so much better than I can give."

"Bella, I hate that's how you see yourself. Please, give me a chance to convince you otherwise. I promise I won't push you...let's just be friends and see what happens and don't put yourself down anymore. I don't like that."

How could she tell him "no"? He made her feel like she was normal and no one else had done that in five years. "Okay, Seth...just be patient with me."

Seth smiled and she smiled back, feeling relief wash over her. "Bella, I have one more thing I wanted to tell you since we're friends now." She wasn't sure where this was going, he had become serious rather quickly, "I know you knew Jacob before, but I wanted to warn you. You really shouldn't hang around him. If you're just getting comfortable around people again, he's not someone that would help you. I'm saying this even though Jacob is like a brother to me. He'll only hurt you."

"What's with you and that Paul guy? You two are suppose to be Jake's friends. He's treated me kindly since picking me up at the airport and he's fixing my truck. We're friends, what's wrong with that?"

"One word...Nadia."

"So what, he's got a girlfriend. Are you telling me she doesn't allow Jake to have friends? Because if that's the case, why does he put up that? He should dump her."

"That's exactly what I'm telling you, Bella. Nadia is very possessive and manipulative. She's caused a huge rift in our...our little group of friends. She barely allows him time with us guys, there is no way she's going to allow him to have a female friend. That's a fact and as far as Jake dumping her, that's not an option."

Did Seth know how ridiculous he sounded? Jacob exuded strength and control, how could he be forced into a relationship with this Nadia person. Bella was right, she sounded like a total bitch. There was something else to this story, Seth was hiding something from her. "Well, Seth, I appreciate your concerns, but unless Jacob himself tells me we can't be friends, I still trust him."

Seth stood up, and walked to the door. She could tell he was not pleased with her response. She followed to let him out. He reached for her and gave her a hug. She practiced relaxing and she managed to react a little better. This time he placed a quick peck on her cheek and she smiled as soon as she felt his lips on her skin.

"Bye Seth, see you Monday at 7:30 and tell Sue thanks for the cookies."

Bella shut the door and locked it. She was finally tired, so she headed straight to bed after brushing her teeth. Bella pulled up a second blanket over her chilled body. She was trying not to dwell too much on what had transpired at Jacob's garage or downstairs with Seth. If she let her mind get started, she was going to override her exhaustion and be up half the night thinking. She started her deep breathing exercises again and worked to clear her mind. She felt a peaceful feeling start to wash over her, but then a clinking noise sounded against her window. It must have been the wind, but then it happened again. Given her previous knowledge of things that actually did go bump in the night, she decided to get up and take a look.

"What the hell?" she mumbled to herself. Jacob was outside her window in nothing but a pair of cutoffs. He noticed her in the window and motioned for her to come outside. She quickly got her robe and flung it on so that she could meet him outside.

"Jake, what are you doing? And where are your clothes?" She looked around and didn't see a car. "Did you walk here?"

He stuttered over an excuse, "I...I was close by...um, working out with a friend. I got hot, so yeah, I just forgot to put my shirt back on."

"Um, okay, but why are you here so late?"

"I wanted to tell you that I will have the parts by Tuesday and I will get your truck fixed as soon as I pick them up."

She thought he was acting cute and shy for some reason, "You could have called, you know?"

Jacob reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Hey, you have a cell phone, right? Here," he handed her his phone, "Put your number in there just in case."

She couldn't control her mouth, "Should I put my name, Bells in as well?"

"Um...no, just the number's fine."

"That's what I thought?"

"What are you getting at, Bella?"

"Oh, I don't know...maybe that two of your so called good friends have both told me in just the past few hours to stay away from you and that your girlfriend doesn't allow you to have friends. Care to give me your side of the story, Jacob? Do you have any idea how uncomfortable Paul made me? That was shitty thing to do to me."

"I'm sorry, really sorry. He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

"Other than telling me to stay away from you, and giving me the creeps...no."

Jacob turned his head and growled. Bella thought he sounded like some sort of animal. He was obviously pissed at Paul.

"Seth told you the same thing as Paul?" he questioned.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Bella, I still want us to be friends, but it's true, Nadia isn't a very trusting person, and I wouldn't want her causing you any problems, so...um we probably should keep our friendship under wraps," he said it like it was completely normal request.

That was the last straw: he had been rude to her, he had beckoned her out of bed in the middle of the night and now he was telling her they had to be secret friends. Bella might have had extremely low self esteem, but she would never be that desperate. Paul and Seth were right, Jacob was no good for her. What an asshole, she thought. She turned around to head back into the house. Jacob was in front of her in an instant blocking her path into the house. "Move Jacob, or I'll scream. Charlie might be wounded, but I bet he can still aim his pistol. What would he think about you holding me out here against my will?"

"Bella stop, you and I both know you aren't going to scream and there's no way Charlie would point a gun at me. Look...I need you to hear me out, please."

She didn't know why, but he was right. She wanted to give him a chance. She stopped trying to escape and sat down on the steps of the porch.

Jacob joined her, he rested his elbows on his thighs and let his head hang low. She sat there patiently waiting for him to talk.

"Bells, why couldn't you have come back sooner? Why did you have to leave in the first place?"

It was not what she was expecting him to say, "Jacob, I had no choice. I don't know what you've heard about me, but I'm weak. I had to leave...I had to get away from the memories."

"I know more than you would ever imagine, Bells." She looked at him through squinting eyes, trying to focus on his face in the darkness. It wasn't possible, he couldn't have known about Edward. "I am close to Sam, remember him?"

Barely, she was so out of it, but, she remembered he was the one that found her. "Yes, I know who Sam is."

"Well, he did a good job at describing what happened. Please believe me, none of us were ever making fun of you. We felt terrible. I was so worried about you. I asked Charlie about you all the time. I'm sorry that's how I knew you were getting help with the trauma that fuck, Cullen put you through. I've got no excuse for throwing that in your face today. It was a total dick move just like passing you off to Paul like that. I'm really sorry."

Jacob had such an affect on her, there was no escaping it. Her conscience was screaming at her. "Go back inside, listen to the others...don't get involved with him," but her betraying heart urged her in the other direction. "Jake, I don't know what you're going through right now, and you really don't know what all I have been through; but I still want to be your friend." He leaned in closer and put his arm around her.

"Thanks, honey. That means a lot." She couldn't help but yawn. It was really late. "Sorry, I should let you get some sleep." They two of them stood up, and Jacob followed her to the door. "Thanks again, Bells for listening." Jacob pulled her into another hug and she felt his cheek slide up and down her cheek. Even though, his lips never touched her, she couldn't help but feel it was way more intimate than any embrace she had shared with Seth.

She pulled away first feeling uneasy about the affect being that close to Jacob was having on her, "Goodnight, Jake. I'll see you around." She shut the door and went back to her room. She looked one last time out her window, but he was already gone.

_**Thanks a bunch for reading.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**~A/N Here is the long one I promised...**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight is property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 5

Bella tossed and turned most of the night, but she still had to drag herself out of bed to make sure Charlie was okay. She met him in the hallway on his way too the bathroom. "Dad, do you need me to get you anything. Are you sure you're fine getting a shower?"

"Yes, Bells. If you could help me switch out my slings, and help me set out my clothes; I can manage. I do need help with my shirt if you don't mind?" He even looked embarrassed about Bella possibly seeing his chest.

Bella hung around in her room waiting for the shower to shut off. She was going to have to have an extra cup of coffee to make it through the day, since she felt like she got very little rest. She opened her laptop and had time to send out a quick email to her Mom. Renee wanted to know how she was doing. Of course, she wanted to know how it was being back at her father's, but she really meant where she had been with Edward. She also asked if Bella was bored or if she had managed to find some excitement in Forks. She had no idea how much excitement she had encountered, but Bella did not have the energy to explain the story and putting Renee in the loop would only complicate things.

The water soon shut off, so Bella gave her Dad a little longer to get his pants on. He had only picked out some sweats, so she didn't think it would take too long even if he was managing one handed. She gently knocked, "Dad, are you ready?"

The door opened and Charlie quickly shoved a t shirt into Bella's hands. She helped him as fast as she could being careful with his shoulder. Once he had a shirt on, she got the regular sling adjusted and they both headed downstairs. Bella got her Dad settled in his chair with the remote and she got busy in the kitchen. She put on the coffee first and then proceeded to make a hearty breakfast. It wasn't her thing to eat a large breakfast, but she was trying to help her Dad rebuild his strength.

Once, Charlie had been fed and had taken his medication, she decided to get herself ready for the day. She picked out some clothes, but her phone caught her eye. She had some incoming text messages. Three from Seth and two from Jake. "Are you kidding me?" she said to herself. There was nothing life altering in the texts, only the two of them trying to make small talk. Seth did ask if she wanted to hang out later. She carefully read the messages again, but decided the best thing she could do for herself was ignore both of them. Avoidance was one of her strong suits. She decided to only focus on Charlie and to get ready for her new job. That would be the best use of her time for the rest of the day and Sunday. She really missed her Dad, and he deserved her full attention.

Of course, part of the time Charlie would zonk out because of his meds and probably exhaustion. Bella assumed healing from a gunshot wound and surgery took its toll on him. That left her with some alone time, but she was more than use to that. She spent some time in her room going through her wardrobe. It was lucky for her, that she and Renee had already purchased most of the items she would need to start a teaching job. Bella also familiarized herself with her new employee packet. Even after prepping for her job, and preparing meals, she was still left with some free time on her hands. She pulled out a book she had started on the plane. After flip flopping between Charlie and the book, Saturday finally had ended. Of course, she would look at her phone from time to time and saw she had a couple of more messages. One more from Jake and three more from Seth. She still couldn't muster up the courage to reply to any of them.

Bella decided to forgo television that evening when Charlie turned in early. She went to bed herself with her book and found that she soon became sleepy which was a huge relief. She turned off her lamp and slipped into a deep sleep. Sunday, started the same way as Saturday. She assisted Charlie with his shirt again. She made him pancakes and they both enjoyed those at the kitchen table with some fruit and coffee. Charlie asked about her life in Jacksonville. She should be honest? No, she didn't want him to worry, so she was vague and evasive. "Aw, I stayed pretty busy. You know Mom was never much of a housekeeper and I worked at least 25 hours a week at the library."

"Did you manage some time for friends, Bells? It's not fair for you to always take care of others. You need time for yourself," he added.

That was when she tried to confuse him, by saying she knew a lot of people from school and work. She just didn't expand on the fact that she never did a single thing with any of those people. He seemed to have bought it.

He reminded her it was football season. How could she have forgotten? "Bells, feel free to say 'no', but Billy had his hopes on coming by today to watch the 3 o'clock game. Also, Seth likes to watch with us. Would you be okay with a few more this afternoon and could you whip us up some snacks?"

"I will definitely make some snacks, Dad; but would you mind if only you and I watch the game? I know it's your house and I'm not trying to change your routine, but I don't feel like being around other people. Is that okay? Just for today. I don't mean anything personal. I would love to see Billy again, and Seth is very nice. I like him a lot."

Charlie looked extremely happy despite what she was saying, "Do you mean it, Bells? You will watch the game with me?"

"Sure, Dad, I would love to watch it," just seeing his face light up was enough to make her want to watch sports. She might even try and figure out what was going on as part of her desire to become a better daughter.

She and Charlie had a lot of fun. It was lucky, she had planned ahead and grabbed some great junk food on her shopping trip. They had some yummy cheese dip and chips with some hot wings. It was the first time her Dad offered her a beer. Bella, of course, declined and stuck with soda. She didn't go into the real reasons that alcohol was not a good combination with her condition or her meds. She did remember to cut her Dad off at two early on, since he was also taking pain medication.

After cleaning up and checking and re-checking that she was ready for the morning, she came to the conclusion; she had to respond to Seth. She had basically ignored him for two days. What if he thought she didn't need a ride from him? She still was counting on a ride from him to school and to the doctor. She also needed to double check that Sue was going to check on Charlie. She was probably past the text reply time limit, she really should call.

"Well what do you know? Is this Bella? I thought your phone was broken," Seth answered without even saying "hello".

"Hmm, hi Seth. Sorry, I have been a little out of it. Charlie and I were spending some time together without interruptions. I didn't mean to be rude," Bella hoped that excuse would suffice. She really didn't want to hurt Seth's feelings.

"Ah, that's okay, Charlie had called me earlier today. He said you were going to watch football with him. He was pretty thrilled, so did you get through it?"

"Yeah, it wasn't too bad. We had fun. Seth, are we still on for tomorrow? And you don't have to take me to dinner, really. I understand if that doesn't sound as appealing to you after seeing how I can be."

"No, of course, we are still going to dinner, Bella. I will be there at 7:30, just as I promised and Mom is going over to spend some time with Charlie. One of the deputies is taking him to his PT appointment. Everything is covered, so relax and get a good night's rest for your new job."

Bella blew a puff of air from her cheek, Seth had calmed her nerves once again, "Thanks again, Seth. See ya tomorrow."

Bella had her clothes set out and Charlie was down for the night. She wasn't sure if she should try and read a little or just turn the lamp out and fall asleep. She ended up thinking about a third option. She had called Seth, would it be so bad to send Jacob a reply? She had made the decision to remain his friend even if she still had some lingering concerns. It was kinda late, so he was probably home which meant he was with Nadia. Bella never wanted to cause him problems on purpose. However, if he texted her, then he probably had himself covered to receive messages from her. It wasn't like he had instructed her not to reply. This was so stupid. These are the kind of things that usually sent her into a downward spiral. She was over analyzing and not trusting her true instincts. She wanted to say something to him, just to assure him things were cool between them.

Now was the time to think of the perfect reply. "Holy hell, Bella, it's a text. Why does it even have to be perfect," she chided herself.

**B: hi jake, sorry i didn't text earlier...just busy**

**B: hope ur ok, new job tomorrow**

**B: wish me luck**

Okay, that wasn't so hard and it was pure friendship. The only problem that remained was her worry that he wouldn't text back. Why should she immediately expect him to, she had waited almost two full days to respond. She really needed to go to sleep.

She turned out the lamp and for some reason, the only face she could picture in her mind was the one that had haunted her all these years. It was Edward, and he was looking at her like the pitiful weak girl that she was. He was the one staring at her with judgment in his golden eyes. She wasn't good enough, not for him, not for Seth and especially not for Jacob. She had to turn the light back on to pull out her journal. She flipped back through the pages and read through one of her many letters meant for Edward. They were words he would never hear, but important things she needed to say. She finally expelled the memories from her mind and lay in the darkness again as she practiced her breathing exercises.

She finally thought she had calmed down the inner workings of her mind enough to fall asleep. Her phone vibrated from under her pillow.

**J: luck**

That's all he said, but she swears, she went to sleep with a smile plastered on her face. Jacob Black sent her a one word text and her whole world felt like it had shifted on its axis. What was happening to her?

Seth was at the door at exactly 7:30. Bella gave Charlie an unexpected kiss on the cheek, "Bye Dad, Sue will be here soon. Call me if you need anything. Bye. Oh, and remember, I'll be late tonight."

"Go Bells, I'll be fine," Charlie told her.

Seth complimented her appearance, as he helped her into the truck. The two of them glanced back and forth at one another on the short drive to the school. Bella asked his plans for the day, since he was off work.

"Not much, maybe get together with some friends. I'll check on Charlie as well, so relax, he'll be fine."

"Thanks, Seth." He pulled into the parking lot and of course she had twenty minutes to spare. It wasn't like it took more than ten minutes to get anywhere in Forks. "So where are we having dinner or is it a surprise?" she asked to pass the time. She wasn't quite ready to go inside.

He smiled, "Surprise, if that's okay?"

"Um, for the record, I'm not a big fan of surprises, but in this instance, I'm fine with it. I hope you won't be too bored waiting for me while I'm in the doctor. It might be an hour or so."

"Nah, I'll find something to do." Bella shifted in her seat, thinking it was time to go in. Seth ended up getting out of the truck to tell her goodbye again. She felt proud of herself for instigating a hug.

"Thanks again, Seth. I don't know what I'd do without you," which was the truth.

Bella made her way indoors and went to the office to find out where she would be needed. The school secretary told her since it was the first day of school, lots of children would need help getting to the right place. Of course, Bella wasn't familiar with the school either, but she was given a diagram that included all the room numbers and teacher's names. She took that with her and helped out with the other teacher's aides. Lots of people came up to her and introduced themselves. It seemed most people knew who she was already. Again, that had something to do with her Dad and small town grapevines. She ended up feeling very relaxed and at home at the school. She was more certain than ever, she had chosen the right career field.

Bella was asked to help out in Mrs. Lindsay's room. She was the teacher who was expecting, so if she was going to stick around and possibly end up as the sub; it was the best place for her. She loved the children in that class. They were all so cute and eager to learn. The excitement of the first day of school filled the room. The day flew by and Bella had a chance to get to know the teacher, Kate. She ended up telling Bella she drove by the Swan house on her way to school. Bella mentioned she didn't have her vehicle running quite yet and Kate offered to give her a lift to school as long as she needed it. She gladly accepted because Seth had a job and she didn't want to keep asking him.

At the end of the school day, the final bell rang. Bella felt like it was a reminder that she was soon going to have to switch gears and go to a new therapist. She felt a cold chill run down her spine. She really hoped the doctor didn't make her recount every last detail of the past five years. She had requested that her records be sent over, so maybe the new doctor would read them and not make Bella have to repeat everything that was in them.

Bella headed outside to find Seth waiting for her. She was smiling the minute she saw him, "By the expression on your face, I can tell it was a good day," was the first thing he told her.

"Yes, it was. Maybe I'm also happy to see you? Did you ever consider that?"

For the first time, Bella swore she caught Seth blushing. It was pretty cute. She had no idea where that boldness came from. They drove to Port Angeles and Bella told Seth all about her first day. She informed him that he would not be expected to give her rides every morning, since Mrs. Lindsay volunteered.

"You know I don't mind, if you need to go anywhere; I'm more than happy to oblige you. If I know Jake though, your truck will be going tomorrow," he added.

Before she was truly ready, Seth pulled into the parking lot of Dr. Thompson's office. Of course, with her luck, there was a huge sign that also said, Adult and Adolescent Psychology. It wasn't like she was going to lie to Seth about where she was going, she just hoped she didn't have to explain all the details so soon. He gave her a sympathetic glance, but didn't ask any questions which was a huge relief. She climbed out of the truck and asked one more time if he'd be fine for the next hour.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be here when you're done and then we will go out and celebrate your great first day."

Bella checked in with the receptionist and sat down with a five page questionnaire about her mental health. She had filled out plenty of those, so she finished it in only a few minutes. She sat there about 15 more minutes before a woman came out and called her name.

"Hi Bella, I'm Dr. Thompson. It's nice to meet you," she extended her hand for Bella to shake.

Bella only said, "Hi."

They went into an office and Dr. Thompson pulled out a fairly thick folder. She had the records.

"Bella, let me start off by saying, it was very responsible for you to reach out to me so quickly after your relocation. I've had time to go over your file and I agree with your previous doctor, you're truly working towards recovery and we wouldn't want anything to give you a setback."

She asked Bella questions about Charlie and and her new job first, but then she went straight for the heavy duty topics. "Bella, when was your last hospitalization?"

Bella knew that was merely a euphemism for what Dr. Thompson really wanted to discuss. She didn't avoid calling it what it truly was, "It's been 18 months since my last attempt." She rarely said it aloud, but Dr. Thompson was staring at her records; of course, she already knew.

"You have come a long way, because this is the longest you have gone, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"And how many attempts were there?"

"Um, several...I don't know," Bella lied.

"Bella, if we can't be completely honest with each other, what's the point?"

"Six...six times I cut myself," she admitted.

"And it was always in the old scar, is that right?"

"Yes, the one I got when I was with Edward. That's the place I was always drawn to."

"Can you elaborate further? Your chart says that you've always claimed you didn't want to die and yet you always caused so much damage, you lost consciousness from the blood loss. Did Edward cause your injury? Why do you believe a scar links you to him if it was an accident?"

It was a lot of questions at once, but she had expected them. This is where she had to get creative with the truth. It was true, she never felt like she really wanted to be dead, but when the tingling started, it would eventually become torturous. She felt like the only way to stop it was to destroy it. She was honest that it was a relief to feel herself slipping away each time, and that she could finally escape the pain. She explained it as best as she could leaving out the supernatural aspects.

"Bella, I believe you're on the cusp of a full recovery, but I worry that your father, Charlie, remains in the dark about how drastic your condition has been in the past. Would you consider opening up to him?"

"No, absolutely not. My Dad just got shot, he's trying to rehabilitate his shoulder. He worries about me enough. I won't put that burden on him."

"Well, I realize you've only been back a few days. Is there anyone else you could see yourself maybe trusting enough in the future that you might feel comfortable enough to confide in? I think it's important you build a support system here, since you're so far from your mother. I'll be available to you, you have my personal cell phone number; but friends are very important."

Bella looked at the clock on the wall, they probably only had about 15 minutes remaining. She said she would try and get to know some of her co-workers better, but mainly she discussed how quickly she had connected with Seth. She talked about him a little, but she also brought up the situation with Jacob. Dr. Thompson made several notes as she talked about the two men.

"In the beginning of your treatment, it was wise to steer clear of jumping into another relationship. I'd say that now would be a good time to open yourself up to the possibility. It has been five full years. Everything I'm hearing you say about Seth sounds positive. I don't see how it would be a bad thing for you to continue to explore a friendship with him. Take things nice and slow and be honest with him. That's the best way to start out a relationship. He may just be the confidant I was suggesting you find."

"I'm not about to tell Seth how crazy I am," Bella protested.

"Bella, you're not crazy. You have a real medical condition, and you're seeking treatment. If you were a diabetic and took insulin, would you keep it a secret?"

"No, but you and I both know; people don't look at mental problems the same way as other medical issues."

"You're right, but you could help spread awareness. I tell all my patients that. I have to caution you though, I don't see what benefit a friendship with Jacob would provide you. He sounds like he has his own set of issues. I get that he is an old family acquaintance, perhaps he's brought about feelings of nostalgia. Don't confuse those with something else. There's not an issue with being friendly or cordial, but by no means should you try and do more than that. You're not strong enough to help someone else with their problems, so don't attempt it. You can't afford to bring yourself back down. You have come so far."

The two of them talked a little bit more, mostly about Bella's current prescriptions and how often she would be able to come in. Dr. Thompson was recommending two times a week for the first month and if Bella was adjusting well with her new surroundings; she should be able to only come in once a week after that.

Bella visited the restroom before going outside to meet Seth. She looked at herself in the mirror and wondered if she was in any shape to be good company to him. He had been so nice. She felt she had no choice, but to pull herself together. Hopefully, they could have a fun first date, if that's what this was. She walked out to Seth's truck, he jumped out to open the door for her. "Yep, Bella, you got yourself a date," her subconscious spoke to her as soon as she climbed in and she could see the excitement on Seth's face.

Seth took her to a hibachi grill. She was kind of apprehensive, because he bragged about how many unusual items they had on the menu. Bella was pretty use to her own cooking and was not very adventurous. She had nothing against Asian cuisine, but when Seth started talking about getting her to try sushi and things like octopus, she couldn't help but wince. "I'll probably stick to soup and fried rice," she told him.

He shook is head, "Nope, come on Bella, climb out of your comfort zone. I swear we're not leaving til you try something new." She figured she'd be able to get out of it, but they sat at a large table with other people. Seth didn't waste anytime letting everyone know it was her first time. She became the center of attention at the table. He had no idea how far he'd brought her out of her comfort zone. Seth ordered her fried rice, but also a variety platter. It had a little bit of everything on it. The chef was very exciting to watch. He had skills with his knives, it seemed more like a show than dinner. The whole table chanted for Bella to try the octopus. She managed with some of the sushi and Seth was right, she actually really liked several of the cooked versions. However, that barbecued octopus was a different story.

"Seth, please, I feel like it's staring at me." He kept holding up a piece between his chopsticks. He was enjoying her suffering way too much. "Ugh, fine," and she opened her mouth to let him cram it in. She swore the spicy flavor wasn't too bad, but the whole idea of it still kicked her gag reflex in. She grabbed her hot tea and washed it down as fast as she could. It was some sort of victory, the people cheered for her, so put her hands up like she had won a prize or something.

Seth put his arm around her, and whispered, "That was awesome, Bella. I'm so glad you came here with me." He kissed her cheek and there were a couple of "aww's" said.

Seth asked if she would like to go anyplace else, since they had an early dinner. He had already called his Mom. She and Charlie were watching TV, so she said for them to take their time. Bella knew it was a lame request, but she asked him if he minded going to the bookstore with her. He was very agreeable, because it turned out, he loved to read. Then they got on the subject of several of their favorite authors. Seth wasn't into the classics of much as Bella, but they both did love some of the current dystopian society series that were out there.

They stayed out for at least another hour. Seth said his Mom said Charlie was completely worn out from therapy and he had already gone to bed; so she was headed home. Bella knew Charlie had been fine every other evening, but she told Seth she should be getting home. She needed to get ready for work the following morning. She remembered Dr. Thompson's words about opening up to a possibility of a relationship. Seth wasn't the type to keep his emotions hidden. Bella knew he was crushing on her and instead of it feeling terrifying; it felt pretty nice. She'd already pushed aside the despair she felt having to spill her guts to her new therapist. Seth had something to do with that. This was a real date. What if he wanted to kiss her? Her stomach actually did a flip flop.

"You're awfully quite over there, Bella? I didn't scare you away making you eat strange creatures tonight, did I?"

"Oh, no...sorry Seth. I just get quiet easy, too much time alone. I'm not use to being around people, but I enjoyed myself. The restaurant was really fun."

They pulled up to the house. Charlie must have been out, no lights were on upstairs, only one lamp was on downstairs and the porch light. Of course, Seth walked her to the door. Her nervousness had shot up to an extremely high level. Even if she felt at ease with him, this was still brand new for her. Seth must have been a little nervous as well. He walked her up the steps, but then went back again. Then he came back up and walked the length of the porch. "Is something wrong? Are you looking for something?" Bella finally asked.

He shifted his eyes side to side again, "No, it's nothing...I thought I sme, um heard something, I mean."

She thought the moment had passed and he wasn't going to try for a kiss. She had unlocked the door with her key and was reaching for the knob, when his large hand reached out and covered her hand. His warmth traveled up her entire arm. She swallowed nervously, but she turned around to face him. He was so much taller than she was, she tilted her head up to look in his eyes. His expression was pure and honest. He moved in slow motion, most likely giving her a chance to refuse but she didn't. She wanted to see if she could really go through with it and not freak out. First she felt his hand come up behind her neck and next she felt his lips. It was a gentle kiss, they did move their lips together for a short time, but it wasn't particularly passionate. It still was nothing like she had ever felt. If she thought Seth's skin was hot, his lips had to be a few degrees hotter. He literally had warmed her entire body even in the night air. They broke the kiss, but Seth kept his forehead fused with hers, "Bella, I had such a good time tonight. When can I see you again?"

The way she was feeling, it made sense to tell him, "Anytime you're free. I can cook for you again. Just let me know when you want to come over. Thanks Seth and they hugged a little longer before Bella pulled away and went into the house. She went to the kitchen and made a big glass of ice water. She felt like it was necessary to cool herself down after that.

The next day went fairly quickly. Bella made a real effort to try and get to know more people. She was becoming more and more comfortable with Kate. They got along quite well even though she seemed to be a little ahead of Bella in the game of life. She had been married a few years and was expecting her first child. She complimented Bella on her interactions with the children. She was already hinting around that she should be her sub and it was only the second day.

Kate was going to give her ride home as well, but she said she had to run back inside for something she forgot. Bella planned to walk out to her car ahead of her, but on her way out into the parking lot, a familiar red truck sat parked in plain sight. The truck wasn't all that caught Bella's eye. He had brought it to her, and she didn't hide her enthusiasm of seeing him after four days. She ran out to him and jumped in his arms. She didn't even think about it, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

"Jake, you fixed my truck!" she yelled.

"Yep, I told you I would, so you ready to go for a test drive?"

"Sure, but hold on...I've got to let my ride know.

Bella turned around and saw Kate, she walked back over to her to let her know her truck was done and she would not be needing a ride, but she thanked her again for being a huge help.

"So does he come with the truck because if so, you got one hell of a deal, Bella?"

Bella blushed and giggled, "Um he's kinda of friend and my mechanic, so no, I don't get to keep him."

"Shame, girl...well have fun and let me know how that truck runs," she looked directly at Jacob who had a huge smirk on his face, "when you get to school tomorrow." Bella eyed him curiously, hopefully, he didn't read lips, because she knew he couldn't hear that across the parking lot.

Bella climbed back into driver's seat after all those years. It felt exactly as she'd remembered.

The truck came to life and Jake hopped in as her passenger. She headed out of the school parking lot and noticed right away, "Wow, Jake, it's running smoother than it ever did. How did you manage that?"

"Well, Bells I've learned a few things since I was fifteen."

She imagined he had, but she kept her mind on driving. She started to slow down as she got closer to Charlie's but Jacob had a request.  
"Hey, Bells, if you aren't busy. Let's go drive it a little more. I know the perfect place we can go, head out towards La Push and I'll show you the way."

She didn't even hesitate. She followed his directions as he led them out of town.

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Bella might be all over the place, because she is finding comfort and companionship in two different men. Remember she has shut herself away from the world for years.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thanks for the encouraging reviews. As always, I love all my readers. The story continues...**_

Chapter 6

Bella ended up on a unpaved, desolate road after performing all the twists and turns Jacob told her to make. She was sure the road was about to disappear, so she asked, "Jake, is this where we stop? It looks like we're out of road."

"Yeah, we'll have to walk the rest of the way."

She looked around, was he serious? It seemed like they had been going up at an incline for several miles and either he meant they were walking up further or downhill. Neither sounded too appealing to her. "How much of a walk are we talking about, because I didn't tell Charlie I wasn't coming right home."

"Relax, Bells...it's not that far and I already checked on Charlie today when I was finishing the truck. I even took him some lunch from the diner. A few of his buddies were stopping by for a visit, so I told him you and I were taking the truck out for a test drive. He knows you'll be late."

Bella stopped the truck off to the side even though she doubted anyone ever came up this direction. They got out and Jacob motioned for her to follow him. He led them to an obvious path that had been worn down from foot traffic. "You walk ahead, just in case you trip, I'll be back here to catch you." He joked.

"That's probably a good idea, but it's not too steep, right?"

"No, I promise it's not bad. If it was dangerous, I wouldn't have brought you."

Bella started walking, good thing she had decent shoes on and not her flats from yesterday. A couple of times the ground underneath her was uneven and caused her to wobble. Jake's hand always reached out and steadied her, before she had a chance to lose her balance. She could see the trees had disappeared just ahead of them so she assumed it was the end of the line and they were going to be somewhere up high. She highly anticipated the view, she assumed Jake wanted her to see. Jacob took the opportunity of the widening path to come up beside her. He moved ahead and took her hand. "I didn't want you to get ahead of yourself and let you walk off the top, Bells. There are no railings up there."

He stopped them on a grassy spot, she could see they could have even climbed higher, but the path ended at the grass. Jacob walked all the way to edge like he was fearless. Bella tentatively came up behind him and looked around his large torso. She didn't know what elevation they were at, but they were pretty high. She could see the coastline in the distance. "It's so beautiful Jacob. I love it. Do you come here often?"

"Yes, a lot actually," he admitted.

Stupid Bella ruined her mood when she asked, "With Nadia?"

"Nope," he answered, "She's terrified of heights."

"I've never brought anyone here, but something told me you'd like it, Bells."

"I do...so much. Thanks for sharing it with me."

Jacob sat down and she sat next to him. The sun was out and it was a particularly warm day for September, but there was a chill up so high. She could feel heat coming off of Jacob, and she took advantage and sat pretty close.

Jacob asked her about school and how she felt about being back. She didn't know what it was, but she felt so comfortable talking to him. She told him about the class she was an aide for and a little about Kate, the teacher. "It seems like you like little kids, is that right?"

"Yeah, I never thought I would before, after growing up an only child, but I really connect with them. They're pure and honest, and I don't feel like they're judging me. It's pretty refreshing."

"Yep, that sounds nice."

The two of them talked about all kinds of things from Jacob's garage to Billy and Charlie. She had almost forgotten any complications existed between them, they were so at ease with another. Jacob finally broached the subject, "So you and Seth, huh?"

Bella was caught off guard, she and Seth had one date just the night before. It wasn't like it would've been broadcasted.

"Um...yeah, Seth and I have spent some time together. How'd you know that?"

"I just might have heard something," he looked off in the distance.

"From Seth?" she asked.

"Not exactly..."

"Well, could you be more vague, Jacob?" She swore sometimes both Seth and Jacob dodged her questions on purpose.

"Don't worry about it, I was just a little surprised you'd start dating someone so fast. I actually never expected it to be Seth, but he's a nice kid. He'll treat you right."

"So now he's a kid? The other day after you picked me up, you laughed at me for calling him a boy."

"I think you called him a little boy and yeah, I think there's a difference between that and kid. I get it, he's technically a man, but I started being somewhat of mentor to Seth when he was barely 15, so I will always think of him as a kid, I guess."

"Oh..." Jake wasn't even two full years older than Seth, so she wondered why he would be put in the position to mentor him. Maybe it had something to do with Harry's sudden passing.

"It's fine, Bells. I know you think he and I are mad at each other, but friends have disagreements sometimes. We have had our fair share this year. I harbor no ill feelings against Seth. So, how do you feel about him? Are you guys going to date, are you his girlfriend? I'm just curious." He hit her with all those questions at once.

"I honestly don't know, Jake. Sure, I like him, we did go on a date; but for some reason you already knew that. I'm trying to take things slow. You know I have not even hung out with a friend in five years. I'm so far removed from what constitutes a normal relationship, it's not even funny."

Jacob looked extremely sympathetic, his arm made it's way around her. "You cold?"

"Little bit."

"Bella, you know you can trust me. What did Cullen do that you'd want to run away and shut yourself off from the world?"

"Um, I'd rather not say," more like she couldn't say.

"Are you sure, because if you need to get something off your chest, I'd be happy to listen."

Bella couldn't control her eyes, they fell to her arm and her sleeve had ridden up to expose her scar. Jacob was perceptive and he saw it at the same time as she did. Bella swears she felt him start to tremble next her. She took her hand and rubbed it down his arm til he stilled. "Jake, it's okay, it was a long time ago."

"He did that to you?" he wasn't good at hiding his anger.

"No, but he was there. Remember when I ran off and Charlie was frantic? Then I came back to Forks with a broken leg. I'd fallen down some stairs and went through a window."

"Yeah, and for some reason hearing you say that confirms what I always thought, that story is bullshit."

"Well, that isn't the issue and I don't want to talk about it. It's just after Edward left, I had a mental breakdown, Jacob. I can't believe I'm telling you this, but the scar reminded me of him and several times I reopened it with any sharp object I could get my hands on. Please don't say anything, especially not to Charlie, he doesn't know. Only Renee and Phil know and some unfortunate girl that found me in the school bathroom after I had an incident."

"Oh, Bells...I don't know what to say other than your life is worth so much more than that little prick, Cullen." He reached for her arm and let his fingers trace over the scar once. It kind of caused her physical pain, but she didn't say anything. "Please, don't ever try and hurt yourself again, honey."

"I don't plan on it, but sometimes it's a struggle. It wasn't til this last year that I've made real progress." She buried her face in her hands trying to come to grips with the fact she just told Jacob something she didn't share with anyone. "I can't believe I admitted that to you. My therapist told me yesterday to find someone to confide in. I never imagined doing that with you."

"It's okay, don't worry, I won't tell anyone. So, Bells, you have a new therapist? How'd that go?"

"She seems alright, but she thinks I shouldn't get too close to you."

"What? What'd you tell her about me? Damn, I'm three for three and yet here you are with me, huh?" He had a little smirk on his lips like he was proud of himself.

"Yep, I guess you bring out my rebellious side." she meant that as a joke, but it kinda was the truth. "For the record, she asked if I had met anyone since coming back. I told her about you and Seth. Anyways, she just felt spending time with Seth was a safer choice for me."

"Bells, I don't care what other people think they know. If you and I want to be friends, we don't owe anyone else an explanation. Am I right?"

"I agree, Jake." He kind of squeezed her with a one-armed hug after her declaration.

"Are you about ready to go?"

"Wait, one more thing. If I just spilled my guts to you, I would like it if you would answer a few questions for me."

"Okay...shoot."

"Jake, what's the deal with you and Nadia?"

He stood up and walked around in a circle. There wasn't a lot of room where they were, but he took full use of the space to get away from the question, obviously.

"She's my girlfriend."

"Thanks for clearing that up, but you know that's not what I meant."

"Bells, it's complicated, and I can't explain everything to you. The best I can do is tell you is that she and I are an unlikely pair, okay. I wasn't looking for a serious relationship, but it happened. She has some issues and it caused problems with my tight group of friends. None of them like her, and I've been a dick to most of them because of it."

"Do you love her? You must or you wouldn't put up with all the strife."

"Yes, but I don't want to," Bella thought he looked completely defeated as he said those words.

She looked at him like he was nuts, but she wasn't about to judge him. She hated all the people that made assumptions about her.

"Bells, really that's about all I can say. I know I suck because you've been so up front with me, but there is other stuff going on in the background. Things that involve the tribe, I'm not at liberty to discuss it. Maybe someday, I can tell you more, but you have to trust me. I still want to be your friend. When you came back, it was like I finally remembered who I use to be. I'd forgotten, since so much shit has happened over the past few years. I'm not going to interfere with your recovery, I swear." He pulled her up to stand next to him and he looked directly into her eyes. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes,"

"Prove it," he suggested.

"How am I suppose to do that?"

"Come here," he guided her closer to the edge. "Wanna feel like you're flying?"

"Not particularly," she said because she thought she knew what he meant.

"It's a great rush, come on, Bells. I want you to try it. I won't let you fall. Now, hold your arms out."

"Jake, is this like that scene from Titanic?"

He laughed out loud, "I guess except, I swear no one is going to die at the end."

"You promise?"

"Yes, Bells, I promise. Close your eyes if that helps."

She did and she felt Jacob walk with her a little more. He was right behind her. "Relax" he whispered in her ear. She tried, but it wasn't easy. She felt him stretch her arms out to the side and then his hands gripped her waist, not too tight, but firm enough she felt secure. "Alright, now open your eyes."

She did and it was amazing. It did feel like she was suspended in midair. It was beautiful. She would have never tried something like that on her own in a million years, but it was true. She did trust Jake and she knew he would never let her go.

"Tell me when you've had enough."

"Never, I could stay here forever," but she did start to feel a little dizzy from the rush, so she let her body lean a little more into Jacob's chest. After a few seconds of being fused together, he walked them back and then he released her.

"Come on, I better get you home before Charlie gets worried."

She had no idea how long they had been gone. It seemed like time stood still the whole afternoon she had been with Jake.

They got back to the truck and Bella went to the passenger seat, she wanted Jake to drive them. Before leaving he picked up his phone, she could see he was irritated once again. "You in trouble?"

"Are you?" was is question to her.

She looked at her phone as well. Seth had been trying to reach her.

He admitted, "Not all my messages were from Nadia, Seth wants to know what we're up to?"

So Seth had contacted Jacob about Bella's whereabouts. She wasn't sure she liked that. Jacob might be in a controlling relationship, but she wasn't about to start down that road again.

The trip back was a bit quicker since Jacob knew the way and he managed to get a little more speed out of the truck than she ever could. She was halfway expecting to see Seth's truck there, but it wasn't and she was relieved. The two of them were going to have to come to an understanding if she was going to be his girlfriend.

Jacob told her "goodbye" before she went into the house. She stayed on the porch until he drove away.

Charlie was sitting in his chair. His face lit up when she walked in. "How's the truck, Bells? Jake get it fixed up for you?"

"Yes, Dad, of course, it runs better than ever."

"You two were gone quite awhile."

"Yeah, we lost track of time. We've been getting reacquainted."

"I'm glad to hear that," was not what she was expecting Charlie to say.

"You are?"

"Yes, Bells. I worry about Jacob. He isn't the same since getting involved with that Nadia girl."

"You don't like her either?" God, did that girl have any friends?

"No, I don't at all. She isn't good for Jake. I got a bad feeling about the whole thing when he abruptly moved out of Billy's. She's got a record, you know?"

"What? You investigated her?"

"Hell yes, I did and I told Billy about it. He rambled on about tribal traditions and secrecy." Charlie shook his head like he was frustrated.

"Dad, for some reason, I get the feeling Jacob is forced into his relationship with her. You don't think the tribe arranges marriages or something? I mean, it's the 21st century. They wouldn't do that, would they?"

"I would hope not, but something is going on there and I haven't been able to get honest answers from my best friend. I first started asking questions the last time you were living here. He knew something about the Cullen's and I thought his superstitions were crazy, until I saw first hand what that little bastard was capable of. That family better never show up in this town again if they know what's good for them."

Bella threw her arms around Charlie's neck, "I love you Dad, let me run upstairs and change and I'm going to make you some supper. Do you mind if Seth joins us? I was about to invite him."

"No, of course, not."

Before she went upstairs she had to know. "Dad, you can't leave me in suspense. What kind of record does Nadia have?"

"Some petty theft when she was younger. One lady tried to put a case together that she had conned her brother out of a large sum of money, but those charges got dropped. It seemed to me she was some sort of con artist. She preyed on wealthy desperate men. I asked a friend of mine from Sequim some questions, that's where she grew up. She was a glorified prostitute if you ask me. I guess people can change, but I still worry about Jacob. He's young with a successful business. It fits her MO, I think she's using him."

Bella felt really disturbed and worried, but Jacob was a big boy. He was going to have to draw his own conclusions. Hopefully, one day he'd see the light.

Bella called Seth before she changed, "Hey Seth, you want to come over in an hour or so for dinner?"

"I guess so," was his only reply. She could tell he was annoyed at her, and they were definitely going to need that talk sooner rather than later.

"Well, do you or don't you? I wanted to spend time with you."

"Yes, Bella, I want to come. Sorry, I've had a bad day. I'll be there at 7."

She got busy in the kitchen and opted for a quick dinner, spaghetti and meatballs. Seth showed up just as everything was ready. He seemed like his normal, happy self again and she was relieved. Charlie was so obvious about staying in his chair to eat. He was giving the two of them privacy. It was nice to know her Dad supported her new relationship with Seth, as well as her friendship with Jacob. He had really blown her mind with his revelations about Nadia. She forced herself not to think about it, because she wanted to give Seth her full attention. She and Seth enjoyed their dinner alone and he helped her clean the kitchen. Charlie excused himself to go upstairs so they could have the living room to themselves.

Bella was anticipating Seth to finally ask about Jacob and he did. "I see you got your truck fixed."

"Yes."

"So you went driving with Jake today?"

"Yes."

"I guess you aren't going to listen to what me or Paul had to say."

"First off, I don't know Paul so no, I don't plan on listening to anything he has to say. Secondly, you and Jake are friends, so what's wrong that I'm also his friend? And don't say, Nadia. He and I already have talked about that." She reached out and took Seth's hand, "I really like you Seth and I want to spend time with you, but I'm not going to let you tell me what to do. I have been through way too much shit to be in a relationship like that." She was finally having some success at speaking her mind.

"Okay, Bella, I'm sorry. You're right, just be careful and be honest with me, okay?"

"Always...What do you want to do? Do you want to watch some TV?"

Seth pulled her in close. "Maybe later, but first I'd rather do this," and then he was kissing her in her next breath. She could get use to kissing Seth. He was hot and the boy could kiss. She didn't have anything real to compare it to. Edward was not something she even could or wanted to consider while she was kissing him. She felt pretty proud of herself for being involved in her first ever make out session, but Seth wasn't about pushing her, so he finally pulled away. He picked up the remote and found something for them to watch. She wasn't sure what it even was, her brain was full of mush. All she knew, is it felt really good to be cuddled up with him and she was certain, it was exactly where she needed to be.

The weeks went on and Bella had developed a good routine. Charlie was doing phenomenal with his rehab. He swore he was going to get the release from his doctor to go back to desk duty the next week. Bella was unsure about that at first, but she decided it was probably for the best. She could tell he was starting to go a little stir crazy and sometimes it made him grumpy in the evenings. She and Seth saw a lot of one another. They were moving pretty fast as far as establishing themselves as a couple, but Bella kept the reigns fairly tight on the physical side of their relationship. She was perfectly fine with the kissing, in fact, she enjoyed it a lot. However, the first time Seth's hand wandered a little too closely to her chest, she had a full on panic attack. She was very embarrassed and begged him to understand. She needed more time, she wasn't ready to take any step that felt sexual in nature. He was very understanding and assured her he would be as patient as she needed him to be. That was one of the reasons, he was so great for her.

She only had another week of her twice a week sessions with Dr. Thompson. Dr. Thompson seemed proud of her, but Bella was honest about how close she and Jacob had become. Her therapist still questioned that decision even if she did applaud Bella for finding someone she could open up to. "Be careful," was her warning. She had heard that phrase enough and couldn't understand what everyone's issue with Jake was. Seth may have been her boyfriend, but Jake was easily her best friend. She had never had one before, but she knew that is what he was to her. They got together a lot of days after school to go on drives or up to the cliffs. Sometimes, he came inside for dinner. There were even instances when she had Seth and Jacob over at the same time. The first time, was a little awkward, but eventually the egos died down and they enjoyed themselves. Bella felt kind of proud of herself. She thought she was doing her part at erasing some of the tension that had previously been evident between the two of them.

During the daylight hours, especially when she was around other people, Bella felt like she truly had a handle on her life, for once. However, late at night, she would lie in bed and questions would come up in her mind. She would relive certain memories. There were times when she felt like Jacob had a pained look if Seth displayed affection with her. She couldn't help but notice that sometimes when she was alone with Jacob, funny things happened to her body. She had feelings she shouldn't be having with a friend. He had shared his love for drawing with her. She actually kept one of his sketch pads under the seat in her truck. He would carry it up to the cliffs and draw. She usually brought a book with her and he liked her to read aloud to him while he drew. At first, he always drew the landscape, but lately he was drawing her. She was very conflicted about the way it made her feel. She promised Seth she would always be honest, and she was to a point. He knew she hung out with Jake, but neither of them ever divulged what they did together. It was very private to both of them and someone looking from the outside in, would not be able to understand it. In a way, she knew she indeed was keeping secrets from Seth. She needed both of them in her life, but she was the only one that would be able to discern what that meant.

She knew one thing, her mind completely betrayed her in her sleep. There were countless nights she'd wake up twisted and sweaty in her sheets to realize she'd been having one of those intimate dreams again. No matter, how many times she told her subconscious to stop it, it never failed. When her partner's face became clear to her in those dreams, it was never Seth.

_**Thanks for reading...would love to hear from you.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**I enjoyed writing this one the most and it's a long one. Thanks to all of those that dropped me a review with the last one.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight**_

Chapter 7

Bella was at the store once again after school. She was shocked at how often she went because of feeding Seth all the time and sometimes Jake. She couldn't figure how they put away so much food and both stayed in perfect shape. She was distracted putting away her bags, when a shrill voice came out of nowhere. "Bella...Bella Swan. Oh my god, finally we're running into each other."

Bella thought she knew who it was. Was she really in the mood for this? She knew she had no choice, but to turn around. "Jessica, heeeyyy, it's been a long time. How are you?" Bella looked at Jessica's large protruding belly.

She proudly rubbed over her very pregnant stomach, "Oh great, just busy. You know this is our second one. Our four year old keeps me busy."

Bella looked puzzled. Jessica acted like Bella should know who she procreated with. She should be honest and tell her she had never inquired one thing about her over these past five years. She had no idea who the poor sap was that ended up with Jessica, but she wasn't going to be rude. It wasn't worth it. She should find an excuse to get out of there as quickly as possible. She glanced at her groceries, cold stuff...that was her out. She needed to get those put away in the fridge. She was trying to open her mouth to explain that to Jessica, but she kept on talking. Finally, Bella caught on when she heard Jessica say "Mike" a few times.

"Oh, so you married Mike Newton?"

"Yes, silly, who else?"

"Oh yeah, well tell him I said, 'hi' and congratulations to you both on the children, but I need to be getting back to Charlie's."

"Sure, but first aren't you going to let me know what's going on in your life now that you're back in Forks." Jessica was fishing for details, so she could spread gossip about Bella, most likely.

"Well, there's not much to tell. I work at the Elementary school as an aide. I take care of my Dad, that's about it."

"Bella, come on that's not what I heard."

"What do you mean, what you heard?"

"Everyone knows you're dating that deputy, you know, one of those gorgeous Quileutes. How'd you manage that so quickly? It's because he works for Charlie, right? He wants to look good for his boss." She threw back her head in laughter trying to be cute.

Of course, Bella, knew she was insulting her, but she could care or less.

"Oh, I just thought of something...if you're seeing Seth, you probably know my friend, Nadia. She's practically engaged to Jacob Black. You know him right? Of course, you do, his Dad and your Dad are friends. So do you know her? She and I met a few months ago and became fast friends." Coming to the store today was quickly becoming one of Bella's worst decisions ever. Was Jessica ever going to stop?

"Um, no I've never met her."

"Oh, well she's really fun. We have so much in common and she's great with my son. I'll tell you a little secret...being around me has given Nadia baby fever. I wouldn't be surprised if she and Jacob didn't have one of these on the way soon." She again rubbed her stomach and as soon as she did, Bella felt sick to hers. There was no way what she was saying could be true. Jacob was not planning on having kids soon. She hoped not, at least. That sounded like the worst thing he could do, considering his not so stable relationship. What was with Bella's luck? Of course, Jessica would be friends with Nadia; it seemed fitting that someone two-faced and self-absorbed would find Nadia, "fun".

"Well, Jessica, as much as I enjoyed catching up...I have to go now, really, so maybe I'll see you around." Bella climbed into her truck, and looked back to see Jessica sashay to her car. She noticed she had her cell phone stuck to her ear already. She was probably calling everyone she could think of to tell about their encounter. She was certain whoever she was talking to, she would not portray her in a good light.

Even though, Bella had just restocked the fridge and pantry, she couldn't muster up the energy to want to cook. Seeing Jessica again and hearing about Nadia literally sucked the life out of her. She didn't know where Charlie was or when he was coming home. She figured Seth was on his way. She felt like calling him and telling him to pick up a pizza. Just as she was picking up her phone, Seth walked in. He walked over to her and lifted her into his arms. She kissed him and he said, "I've missed you so much."

"You were here last night," she pinched his cheek and kissed him again.

"Yeah, well that still too long. You haven't started dinner have you?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I didn't feel like cooking tonight."

"Well, you're in luck. Tonight we're going to my house. My mom's been cooking for hours. Charlie's already there. Everyone's waiting for us."

"Who's everyone?"

"Leah and some of the guys are coming over and Billy."

Bella looked nervous, she still hadn't met Seth's sister or his friends even though they had been dating over a month.

"Come on...they all can't wait to meet you, but remember what I've told you about Leah?" Bella frowned. Seth had explained to her that Leah was a little rough around the edges. "Don't get that worried look. It'll be fine. She's being nice today, I promise."

When they got to the Clearwater's house, Seth gave Bella's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Come on, they're all gonna love you."

Bella followed close behind Seth as they stepped inside. All the talking and laughter ceased and all eyes zeroed in on Bella.

"Aw, look who's here?" Paul walked over to her and threw his arm around her. She shrugged it off same as before. "Remember me, darling?"

She tried to give him a friendly smile, but it was more of a creeped out look. "Get the fuck out Lahote," a female voice came up behind him. She instantly recognized her from her picture, it was Leah.

She looked Bella over, she could feel her sizing her up. "So you're Bella?"

"Um, yeah...hi Leah, it's nice to meet you." Bella extended her hand and Leah shook it. "Ouch," she thought to herself. Bella had never felt a woman's hand shake feel so strong.

"Does the iced al...um I mean asshole know she's here?"

Seth shook his head. "I don't need his permission to have my girlfriend over, so drop it, Leah." Bella guessed she was talking about Jake, but she had no idea what she meant by that.

"So you and my baby brother, huh? Kinda robbing the cradle, don't you think?"

"Wha..." she started to say, but Seth interrupted.

"Leah," he warned.

"No, it's cool...if that's what you both are into. I just have one thing we need to get out in the open." Leah got really close to Bella. She was definitely in her personal space and she looked her square in the eyes, "I'm warning you now, if you hurt my brother...I will break your arm."

Bella wondered if she should laugh, because maybe Leah was trying to be funny, but she spoke up again. "No, seriously, I'll break it." Then she simulated how that would happen by doing a demonstration with her hands. She held both of them up and pulled them out and twisted them outwardly before dropping them at her side. Bella swore her arm actually hurt because Leah put on such vivid display. How was she even suppose to respond to that?

Seth gave his sister a warning look and hugged Bella close, "She's just trying to be scary, she would never do that, Bella. It'll never happen. Anyway, you'd never hurt me, right?"

Bella looked into Seth's trusting face. She hoped not, but she felt like she was forcing her words out when she replied, "Of course not."

Seth went on to make a few introductions. Bella was trying to attach all the faces to the names. She already knew Paul, unfortunately. There was Collin, Brady, Embry and one couple there, Jared and Kim. Embry seemed really nice. She instantly took a liking to him. She was also impressed when she realized Embry was the one that took Jake's place and took care of Billy. Apparently, Jacob's sister had promised to come home when Jacob moved out, but she backed out at the last minute. Embry didn't have the best home life, so he volunteered to move in with Billy.

Bella went into the kitchen to see if Sue needed help. Billy and Charlie were at the kitchen table. "Hey, Bella...it's great to see you again," Billy told her. He had come over a few different Sundays, but she still felt a little awkward around him. He knew something about the Cullen's and she didn't know what or how, but he made her a little uncomfortable. She was trying to get over her apprehensions, so she made her way around the table to give Billy and Charlie both hugs.

"Sue, can I help?"

"Absolutely not, go relax; I've got it covered tonight. It's time you got a break from the kitchen, you deserve it Bella," Sue told her.

Bella went back in the living room to rejoin the group. There was only a tiny space left on the sofa between Seth and Paul. She squeezed in. Seth whispered in her ear, "You can sit in my lap if you don't want to touch Paul."

"Seth..." she blushed.

Bella tried to figure out what the conversation was about. It seemed like everyone was talking at once. She couldn't help but stare a little at Kim. Jared was just as handsome as the rest of the others, but Kim was not very pretty. Bella felt ashamed for thinking that. It wasn't like she considered herself a great beauty, but she did wonder what attracted Jared to Kim. She must have a really good personality.

After a few more minutes of observing, she wasn't so sure about that either. Kim actually came across as very annoying and dumb. She lost count of how many times she said, "What?" or "I don't get it." Every time she opened her mouth, she swore the guys, excluding Jared, took turns rolling their eyes at her. Seth was watching Bella, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I'll tell you later."

Soon, Sue came out and announced dinner was ready. She had everything set up buffet style, since there were so many mouths to feed. There wasn't a table large enough to seat all of them. The guys weren't shy about filling up their plates and heading back into the living room to eat. Seth nudged Bella with his knee, "Get up there Bells, before these bottomless pits take it all." He helped Bella cut in front of Collin and Brady, so she could make a plate.

Bella took her time eating, because her nerves had caused her stomach to feel a little funny. She was use to watching Seth and Jacob eat; it was kinda funny to have a whole room full of men who took their food way too seriously. She heard Paul arguing with Collin in the kitchen about the last piece of chicken.

Paul came back in, victorious; he asked Seth with his mouth full of chicken, "So are we all on for a bonfire next Friday night? Jake finally said, 'whatever' so I took that as a 'yes'."

"Yeah, I'm excited about it."

Bella looked a little confused.

Seth noticed, "We all get together and barbecue some food, build a huge fire on the beach. We have music, it's a party. We use to have them all the time, but...well, no one felt like it for a long time, but you'll have lots of fun. I promise."

"Okay, but won't it be kinda cold?"

"You know you're never cold with me. It'll be great," he winked at her.

"You done?" Seth asked her and she shook her head. He took both of their plates into the kitchen. Jared announced that he and Kim had to get going. As soon as they left, Bella finally got an earful about what everyone thought of Kim.

"Damn, I don't know why Jared never took my advice about gagging and bagging that bitch," Paul stated. "We'd all be a lot better off, am I right?"

Even Seth was laughing, as they all agreed. Bella could see why they all couldn't stand her, but Jared was their friend. She felt bad for him that they were all so obvious with their dislike for Kim. She imagined that is why he was so quick to leave after dinner. It probably made it very uncomfortable for him.

Collin asked Paul if he really had said that to Jared. "Hell yes, I did. That fucker almost broke my jaw even though I was trying to help."

"Better be careful, Lahote; you never know when you might stumble upon your own Kim," Leah said sarcastically.

"Nope, not I. It'll never happen to me. I've got myself covered, I never look em in the eyes. I prefer to only see the top or the back of their heads, so I'm good."

Bella looked horrified at how crass Paul was. How could he talk about women like that? Did he seriously believe looking in girls' eyes was what caused people to fall in love. Seth kicked him in the leg. "Shut the fuck up, Paul. Do you not have any manners? Bella doesn't want to hear about your skanks. Keep that shit to yourself."

She had really had enough interaction for the night. "Hey Seth, I want to see your room," she announced wanting to get away from the crowd.

"Yeah, Seth. You know what that means? Or do you? Come here and let me whisper it to you," Paul said. Bella was humiliated. Why did Paul have to make everything sound dirty. She couldn't figure out why he and Seth were even friends. They were as different as night and day.

Seth ignored him and led Bella to his room. She giggled, his room was too cute. She swore it probably hadn't changed since he was like fourteen.  
"I know...in my defense, I'm rarely home. I only use it for sleeping. I don't bother changing it because I'm moving out soon as soon as I finish my house."

"House? You have a house, Seth? How am I just now hearing about this?"

Seth told her that his aunt had a little cottage on the edge of the reservation she had left to his mother. She passed away when he was kid from breast cancer. "Mom doesn't want to live there and she never wanted to rent it out, so she offered it to Leah first, but she doesn't want it. So, yeah, Bella...it's my house. It's been empty for a long time. I'm redoing most of the inside. I use to work on it a lot, but since Charlie got shot and you came along; I haven't spent any time there."

"Wow, Seth...when can I see it?'

"How about now? It's still light out for a little bit longer, plus I have the electricity running again for my tools. Let's go, do you want to?"

"Sure, why not?" Bella was intrigued that Seth hadn't mentioned this yet.

They told everyone "goodbye" and headed out, so Bella could see this house that made Seth's face light up every time he mentioned it.

Bella was following Seth out to the truck when Jacob drove up. Bella never expected to see him there tonight. She remembered what Leah had asked Seth earlier. Why did she say he was iced? "Hey Jake," she waved.

He looked rather stoic, "Where are you two off to?"

"I'm taking Bella on her first tour of my house," Seth proudly announced, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh," he looked at Bella. She felt uncomfortable all of the sudden. "I'm looking for my Dad."

"Are you busy this weekend, Jake? I didn't see much of you this week," she asked.

"Yeah, I got shit I have to do, maybe we can hang out Monday."

"Oh yeah, I've got a workday...I should get out early, no students. Well...bye," she said before climbing into the cab of Seth's truck. She couldn't resist glancing back in the mirror. He was still standing in the same spot watching them drive away, and she wondered why he seemed so sad.

The house wasn't too far away from the Clearwater's, but Bella didn't think she had ever been to that part of the reservation. It was pretty remote to all the other populated areas. They pulled up to the little white cottage with green shutters. It was kinda small, but looked like the perfect size for a bachelor or a starter home. He took her hand and led her through the front door as soon as he unlocked it. It was pretty much ripped apart inside. Seth had gutted it and had started over with a clean slate. She could definitely see the potential though. There were plenty of large windows and it had a nice floor plan. It was only two bedrooms and one bathroom, but Seth had opened up the kitchen/eating area with the living room, so it appeared larger than it was.

"So?" he asked.

"Seth, it's great. I love it, you have to start working on it again. I can help you," she offered. "Of course, me and power tools don't mix, but I could help you with painting and decorating. I would love to help you pick out the window treatments." She looked down at the floor. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself. Seth never said he wanted help. It did seem pretty personal to be involved in decorating his house, since their relationship was still so new. It really didn't feel like it was, they were becoming more and more comfortable with one another.

"Sure, Bella...I would love to have a woman's touch for this house. It isn't like I want it to end up like my embarrassing teenage bedroom back home." Bella walked into the kitchen area. There was a bar area that he had built but it wasn't covered, it was still the bare wood.

"Whatcha plan on using for countertops?"

"Not sure, yet. You know how quick the kitchen costs can add up. I don't have a huge budget for this remodel. That's why I'm taking it slow and doing most of the work myself. Quil helps me when he can."

"Oh, why didn't he come tonight?"

"He had something else he had to do, but you'll meet him next weekend at the bonfire."

Bella saw darkness had come quickly and the only light in the room was one overhead light over the breakfast nook. It was a pretty dim light, and Bella could tell right away, Seth had a glint in his eye. He lifted her up to the bar and stepped in between her legs, "I told you I missed you and now I've got you all to myself here." The two of them got involved in a very heated make out session. Bella felt like her wall of frigidity was slowly beginning to crumble. She was the one that kicked it up a notch by pulling him in tighter with her legs. Seth responded by trailing kisses down her neck which inadvertently caused her hips to jerk into him a little more. He moaned into her ear and she feel a tingle run down her spine. They kissed some more and she liked the way his hot fingers felt on the skin of her back. He was rubbing up and down her lower back, but when she felt one of them trace under her bra hook, she stiffened. She really didn't want to have that reaction, Seth was so good to her and she really enjoyed being with him. No matter how much she felt like he was turning her on; she still couldn't go further, at least, not yet. He was quick to catch on and pulled back. "I guess we should go."

"I'm sorry Seth..."

He touched her lips with his finger, "Shh, it's okay, Bella. We'll get there. You know how I feel about you, don't you?"

"Seth..."

"It's okay, I know it's all happening so fast and you're probably still worried, but I'm here for you. You're special to me, and I can wait."

They headed back to Charlie's soon after. Bella decided to bring up Kim and Jared, the unlikely couple. "So Kim is kinda different, huh?"

"That's a very polite way of putting it. She's an idiot, Bella."

"Well...I haven't had the chance to spend that much time with her, but okay. What does he see in her?"

Seth looked ahead at the road and she assumed he didn't want to talk about it.

"It seems to me like, for some reason, none of you ever tell me the full story. You and Jake both will start to tell me something and then you clam up. I don't understand, is there some secret club that I'm not an official member of, so you can't teach me the secret handshake?"

"It's not a club, Bella."

"Well, what is it then?"

"It's...it's nothing and hopefully, some day soon I can answer your questions better. One thing I can tell you is that out of all the girlfriends, you're the only one anyone likes."

"Why? They barely know me."

"You're different," was his only answer.

"How?"

"You're just different, so take that as a compliment. Even Paul likes you. I know he has a funny way of showing it, but he was actually on his best behavior tonight."

"Oh my god, I'd hate to see what's bad behavior for him. I found myself feeling sorry for all the faceless women out there he demeans. Sam's married, isn't he? So are you saying you don't like his wife either?"

"Hell no, she's a rude bitch. Oh yeah, she happens to be my cousin if you didn't know that."

"No, I didn't, and you can't stand your own cousin?"

"Nope, Sam use to date Leah in high school until that bitch came along."

"Ew, that's pretty bad. She broke up her own cousin's relationship. Let me guess, she and Nadia get along?"

"Oh yeah, they're joined at the hip."

"Well, to tell you the truth, I ran into Jessica Newton earlier and she's friends with Nadia too. She told me all about it after trying to make me feel like dirt when she insinuated you're only with me to score points with Charlie."

Seth looked pissed to hear that, and Bella knew it wasn't true. "What a bitch, don't listen to anything she has to say, Bella. I happen to know the only reason Newton married her was because he knocked her up end of senior year and his Dad insisted on it. He spends most of his free time down at the local bar trying to drink away the reality that is his life."

"Oh well, he was kind of a pest in high school, but I actually feel sorry for him." She waited a few minutes before asking, "Did you notice, Jake seemed upset as we were leaving? I wonder what's up?"

"No, he seemed like himself to me. Bella, he really isn't that nice. For some reason, he only acts pleasant around you."

"Seth," she was about to get onto him.

"It's fine, I get it. I was wrong and you were right, being friends with Jake is a good thing. He's halfway human again and he seems to be very supportive of you. I wasn't trying to sound jealous. I'm not." Even if Seth said he wasn't jealous, she dropped the topic of Jacob to avoid any disagreements.

Bella had a pretty laid back weekend. Monday was going to be an easy day because the kids were off. She mainly needed to help Kate with some upcoming projects and redo a few bulletin boards. The kindergarten teachers had it a little easier than the rest of the teachers, since they weren't all tied up with grading like the older grades were. She started work at the regular time, but Kate assured her they would be out of there by two. Bella hadn't heard from Jacob at all, so she didn't know if he still planned to come over that afternoon. The morning flew by until Kate announced right before noon, she was starving and asked if Bella would go to the diner with her.

They were seated in the middle of the diner and the lunch crowd was also there. Forks wasn't known for its sit down eateries, so this was everyone's go to place that actually went out for lunch. "This is great, isn't it? We finally get to talk away from school." Kate told Bella. It was nice and Dr. Thompson had been asking Bella why she hadn't done anything with her co-workers yet. She would be sure to pass this along to her.

"Thanks, for asking me Kate."

"I've got to admit, I have ulterior motives. I want the low down on those hot guys you spend so much time with. We can never speak freely at school with all those little ears."

Bella looked around at the room full of people because she wasn't sure she still wanted to speak freely out in public. She really didn't know what exciting information Kate thought she had to share.

"Come on, girl you've got to spill. I've been playing the everyday housewife role for a while now, help me remember my wild days."

Bella laughed at that ridiculous statement. "I think you've got me confused with someone else. There's absolutely nothing wild in my life."

"But Bella, I've seen them. Seriously, which one of them is giving you the D? Oh my god, don't tell me. It's both of them isn't it? This story is going to be so juicy." Kate rubbed her hands together in anticipation of some torrid love affair that did not exist.

"No...no, it's not juicy at all, Kate. Seth is my boyfriend and Jake is just a friend. I'm not getting the...um, well, nevermind." She couldn't even say the initial, it was too embarrassing. Did Kate want her to announce to the whole diner about her long lasting virginity?

"Well, it's probably for the best that you're not fooling around with Jacob Black. When I finally figured out that was who you left with that second day of school, I was a little worried for you. You do know his girlfriend is certifiable, don't you?"

"So, I've heard. He and I are childhood friends. I don't have anything to do with her."

"Well, good, but you should talk to the other aide, Liz. Her brother dated her. They all went to the same school. She can tell you some stories. Also, from what I heard she went around to every girl that had previously known Jacob when they got together and issued a formal warning to stay away. How'd you manage to miss out on that?"

"Um, I guess he doesn't tell her about me. What I really mean is I know he doesn't."

"Oh, sounds to me like this is a little more than a friendship, B."

Bella tried to sound as convincing as she could, "No, nothing is going on. We're just good friends. I'm with Seth."

"You poor thing, you're so confused. It's written all over your face," she told her.

Bella began to wipe her face with her hands, hoping to remove whatever Kate thought she was seeing.

"Bella, tell me which one do you find yourself fantasizing about late at night or when you're bored? Which one makes you hot and bothered?"

"Um, Kate...really me and Seth are together. We're just kind of in a new relationship, so we're taking it slow."

"So you never have sex dreams about Seth or Jacob, because that's a dead giveaway if you are. Which one is it?"

Bella looked absolutely horrified, because she was having sex dreams about Jake all the time and she couldn't believe Kate asked that question, but at the same time Jacob had just walked in the diner with his arm around the bitch, Nadia. She was facing the entrance, but Kate's back was to them. She swore her meal was going to come up on the table, she felt so sick.

Kate mistook the look for the truth and she repeated it, "So it's true sweetie, you dream about hitting the sheets with Jacob Black, don't you? What're you going to do about it?"

She had at least whispered the question, but Jake turned and looked straight at her. She couldn't begin to read the expression on his face. Perhaps, he was just alarmed to see her while he was with Nadia. She knew there was no way he heard Kate over the roar of the diner crowd. All she knew was she had to get out of there immediately. She needed air. Fuck...she swore to herself. She needed one of her pills, she was getting ready to have a panic attack. "Kate, I've got to get some air, here..." she reached in her bag for money.

"No, this is my treat. Take my keys and go to my car, I'll take care of the bill." Kate stood up and turned around to see Jacob and Nadia. She gave Bella a knowing nod and Bella slipped behind them. She didn't make eye contact with Jake again and she didn't even think Nadia ever turned around to see her.

Kate soon came out to the car, "Well that was a close one, huh? Scary bitch, I swear Bella, you need to find a way to get over your feelings for him. I wouldn't put physical violence past that girl. You don't need that kind of drama, you're way to sweet."

"Thanks for everything, Kate, but can we please not talk about my personal life anymore. I'm a very private person."

"Sure thing, honey, but if you need to spill; I'll listen anytime: day or night, just call me."

Bella only had to work about two more hours. She was going to carry some of the future crafts and projects home to do some cutting and sorting so they could have more time to do hands on activities in the classroom. Bella had put everything in one large box. She unlocked Charlie's door, he was at PT still. She picked the box up and backed herself up into the house. It was a cloudy afternoon and the house was rather dark. As soon as she turned, she saw the silhouette of an intruder sitting at the table. She almost dropped the box, before she realized who it was. "Jesus, Jake...what're you doing sitting here in the dark? You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry, I let myself in with the extra key."

"Yeah, one day I'm going to get rid of that key. Well, what are you doing?" She asked again.

"I came to check on you."

"Why?"

"Because I was worried about you."

"I don't know why, you just saw me, I'm fine."

He stood up, from the table and walked over to her, "I don't think you are."

"Why wouldn't I be? I know how things are. We're friends, right?" She was restating the obvious. He shook his head at her. "Sooo...we're not friends?"

"Bells...I think it's about time we get it all out in the open?"

"I...I don't know what you mean, Jacob."

"Yes you do," and then he reached out and touched her shoulder; his hand ran down the length of her arm and he took her hand and held it tightly in his. They had some incidental hand holding before, but this was different. It wasn't like he was helping her up or down the hill. He was purposely holding her hand. She wasn't sure why she felt like she couldn't breathe and she regretted not taking her anxiety pill.

He spoke again, his voice was low and hoarse, "You and I are not just friends. You don't have to pretend with me."

She pulled her hand away from him and stepped away. She didn't think she could look at him. She didn't want to do this. She couldn't have this talk with him. He didn't let her go. Instead, he came up behind her and got as close as he could. She could feel ever inch of his large, hard body pressed against her. He brought his hands around her waist and put his face next to hers. She felt his breath on her cheek, but she froze. She couldn't move. Did she really want to? His mouth went to her ear and then down her neck. He started to give her hot, open mouth kisses to that side of her neck. Her legs felt like jello, if it wasn't for him holding her up, she would have crumbled to the floor. She needed to stop him, but she couldn't will herself to do it. He kept taking deep breaths in between the kisses and she had never felt so aroused in her entire life. It was so wrong, but she wondered what it would be like to really kiss him on the mouth. If she turned around right then, that's what he'd do, so she stayed with her back to him.

"Bells, tell me what you want and I'll do whatever I can to make it happen, " he said in her ear.

She said the only lie she could manage, "I want you to leave. That's what I want. We can't do this Jake." She finally got enough strength to pull away, and face him. Damn her eyes for tearing up in front of him. "Go Jacob," she pointed at the door.

He looked defeated, "Okay, Bells, I'll go; but one day, you're going to ask me to stay and when you do, I will."

_**Thanks so much for reading.**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N~ Special thanks to all of you who are following and to those that added it to your favorites or left me a review last time. I really appreciate it. This update will be in two-parts. I'll get the next one up the same day, fingers crossed. One of my guest reviewer put it best when she pointed out that imprinting seems like a curse. That's was my initial idea for the story. I want a fic where imprinting is a curse instead of a blessing. I'm not that far off the mark, from the original story: Sam left Leah for her cousin, Quil imprinted on a toddler, Jake imprinted on a baby (cringe), etc. My alternative is that even though the wolves accept the imprint, they are not necessarily content.**_

_**So there is no confusion: here's the list of imprints**_

**Sam-Emily**

**Jared-Kim**

**Quil-Claire (who's 8 in this story)**

**Jacob-Nadia (newest imprint)**

**Notice that Seth does not have an imprint and neither does Paul (he's much more fun single)**

Chapter 8 (part 1)

When he shut the door, the reality of what had just occurred hit Bella with overwhelming force. She went over to the sofa to sit down. She started taking deep cleansing breaths, but it wasn't helping. She reached in her bag and retrieved her meds. She swallowed that little, green pill dry. Charlie was going to come home any second. She didn't want to face him, because she was such a mess. He couldn't see her that way. She thought of a solution rather quickly.

"Sue...um, it's Bella. I must be coming down with something. I...I really need to go to bed. Is there any way you can stop by and help out Charlie tonight? He barely needs any assistance, I'm sure you know; but I don't think I can even prepare his dinner." The lies easily poured out of her mouth.

"Oh, sure thing, sweetie. What can I do to help you? You sound really shaky. Want me to get Seth over there?"

"No!" she almost shouted in the phone. No way, could she see Seth right then. "I'm headed straight for bed, that's all I need right now."

"Okay, well take care and don't worry, I'll be there in a half hour or so. Go get some rest and let us know if you need anything."

"Bye, and thanks, Sue."

Bella went upstairs and stripped off her work clothes and put on a tank top and sleep shorts. She climbed in between the sheets and pulled up the blanket. It was only about four in the afternoon, but the darkening clouds made it seem later. She thought she really should make one more phone call. She pulled out her cell again and dialed Dr. Thompson. She left a message, "Dr. Thompson, it's Bella...something happened today. I think we should talk and it's three days before my next appointment. I don't know if I can wait that long." She hung up and let her head fall back down to the pillow, sliding the phone under its edge. She soon felt a vibration, maybe Dr. Thompson was between patients and was getting back to her right away. She looked and it was a text from Jacob.

**i'm sorry...please don't freak out**

**don't shut me out**

**i'll give you some space, but we need to talk**

No, no no was all that ran through her mind. She knew all along, she felt something for him, but as long as she knew he only wanted friendship; she could control herself. After what he had just said and the way he touched her and kissed her; she knew all that control had been annihilated. Why would he do what he did, when he was so committed to Nadia? How many times had she heard, he would not leave her no matter how twisted she was? She had to send him away, that was the only way she could save herself. It was evident she could never hang out with him again. What would she tell Seth? She guessed he would have no trouble believing that Jacob did something to make her mad, since he was so quick to point out his borderline personality disorder. She wished she could fall asleep. She did have a bottle of sleeping pills for emergencies. She hated the way they made her feel hungover the next day. She thought she should try a little harder to rest on her own and not rely on pharmaceuticals.

After staring at the ceiling for at least a full hour, her phone buzzed under her pillow. "Please don't be Jacob, please don't be Jacob," she chanted. It was Dr. Thompson.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"No, not really," she answered.

Dr. Thompson stayed relatively quiet while Bella recounted the entire encounter with Jacob. She started off with how she ran into him at the diner with Nadia and ended up with her dismissing him for trying to seduce her. She left out the part that the real reason she told him to leave was not because of what he was doing, but because of how bad she wanted him to do it.

"Bella, do you need to come in?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Do you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself?"

"No, I just want to sleep. I want to forget about it."

"Well, if you really need to, take your sleeping medication, but instead of forgetting you need to figure out how to face it. You've allowed yourself to develop feelings for someone who isn't available. I thought you truly cared for Seth?" Dr. Thompson asked.

"I do," Bella meant that.

"Bella, you have the tools to deal with this. You know what you need to do. Jacob and you are both attached to other people, so there is only one healthy choice. I trust your ability to do the right thing."

"Thanks, it feels nice to hear you have confidence in me. I know, I've already decided I'm not going to see Jacob any longer."

"Okay, well...take some time to rest and I'll see you on Thursday unless you need me sooner."

Bella could hear Sue and Charlie downstairs. She thought one of them might open the door to check on her soon. She reached in her drawer and took two of her sleeping pills. She continued to stare at the ceiling until she finally couldn't hold her eyes open any longer.

Bella woke up around 6:30, she had been asleep more than 12 hours. She felt groggy like she knew she would. There was no way she could go into work. She called into the line designated for those type of messages. She stated her name and school and that she was too ill to make it into school. She also left a text message to Kate so she would know she wouldn't be coming in. Bella rolled back over. She knew Sue had already planned on taking Charlie to his doctor's appointment. He was going to be getting his release back to work today. She noticed she had a couple of missed calls from Seth and some messages from him as well. She quickly replied.

**still sick...called into work maybe i'll be better tonight**

She didn't have anything from Jake, and now in the light of a new day, she was rethinking a few things. Maybe they should talk again. She had thought of a few things she really wanted to say to him in order to obtain some closure for herself. That was one of her many downfalls after Edward. There was never any closure for her after her relationship with him.

She easily slipped back into a deep sleep for another hour or so. Her stomach ached and cramped from lack of food. She was fast approaching over 20 hours without anything but pills in her system. Bella got up just in time to see Charlie and Sue headed out the door. Charlie paused to check on her, but she assured him she was getting better and she would try and rest up the duration of the day.

She made a bagel and poured some orange juice and coffee for herself. She decided to sit on the couch and watch some TV. She needed a shower, but maybe she would soak in the tub instead. While she was in the bathtub, she spent some time focusing on her scar. She was telling the truth to Dr. Thompson, that not a single thought of harming herself had come to her. She felt like she finally had a handle on that demon that had taunted her so many times before. She could already feel herself getting back to normal. Yesterday was only a standard panic attack. She'd made an error in judgment, but she wouldn't allow Jacob to divert the current path she had chosen. She enjoyed being back at Charlie's, she loved her job and Seth was very important to her. Those three things would be her focus from now on.

Charlie got his back to work release. He went straight from the doctor's office back to work. He had left Bella a message he'd be home at quitting time. He wanted to celebrate with beer and pizza. Bella was happy for him and she actually felt like a nice greasy pizza. She spent the rest of the day reading and napping until he came in with an extra large pizza and a 6 pack.

"You look a helluva a lot better. Must've been a 24 hour thing, huh, kiddo?"

"Yep, I guess you're right."

Seth had called to check on her and said he might stop by a little later. He didn't want to keep her up though since she planned on working in the morning.

The rest of Bella's week felt normal. She went back to work Wednesday. She had seen Seth both Tuesday and Wednesday night and she was happier than ever with him. She had not heard from Jacob again and she was thankful for that. She had gotten home Thursday with just enough time to run into the bathroom and make a quick change before she needed to get on the road for her 4 o'clock appointment. A familiar motorcycle was sitting in the driveway. She had zero time for this encounter. He was on the porch. "Jake, I'm late, I've got to run in and change and go see my therapist. You should leave, we've got nothing to say to each other."

She went upstairs and did exactly what she intended, but when she came back out, he was still there.

She looked around, his bike was gone.

"I put it in the garage."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going with you. When you get out of your appointment, you and I are going to talk."

She started shaking her head vigorously side to side, "No you aren't...no we're not!"

He climbed in the passenger seat despite her protest. "If you can get me out then I won't go, but we both know that won't happen so get in and drive?"

She couldn't believe his nerve, but he was right she couldn't move him. She gave up arguing with him, climbed in and started to drive but she completely ignored him. He didn't say anything and neither did she. It was like he wasn't even there. Well, that was a huge lie because he had such a presence she could literally feel him even if she wasn't physically touching him.

She pulled up at Dr. Thompson's and said, "I'll be in there an hour and when I get out, we're finishing this..."

"Sure, sure...whatever you say, Bells?"

She screamed out a frustrated noise and slammed the door.

She had a good session with Dr. Thompson. Bella told her all the positive methods she had adopted to quickly regain control, essentially stopping herself from a downward spiral. Dr. Thompson was very complimentary. They were in the last 15 minutes of the session when she asked if there were any last thoughts Bella wanted to share. That is when she finally blurted out, "Jacob is sitting in my truck waiting to talk."

"What? Why did you bring him? Did you not mean anything we just talked about?"

"No, I meant them, he just showed up as I was leaving. Jake isn't the type to take no for an answer."

"Well, Bella you must know that isn't a positive quality in a man. He sounds like he has real problems. You need to be firm. If I were you, I'd leave him and make him take a cab home. That would be a very empowering move for you."

Bella assured her, it would be the last time they would be alone together and that she was going to handle it. She wondered if Jacob might have reconsidered and left, but no such luck he was still in her truck when she went back out. In fact, that infuriating man had gotten behind the wheel. Now she really was at his mercy. He was going to take them wherever he wanted.

She felt like if she went along with him, she could finally let him know what she really thought of him and then he would leave her alone for good.

He drove them to a small park in Port Angeles. "Do you want to go sit outside or stay in the truck to talk?"

"Here's fine."

"Bells, I don't know where to start. I'm sure, right now, you think I'm the biggest asshole that ever lived, but I need you to forgive me."

"This goes beyond simple forgive and forget Jacob. I trusted you, you were suppose to be my best friend. It doesn't matter that I think you're way to good for Nadia, you're still with her and I'm with Seth. He's your friend. Doesn't any of that mean anything to you?"

"Yes...but you mean more to me," he confessed.

"How Jake? How can what you're saying be true?"

"Bella, I don't know. The truth is when my Dad told me to pick you up at the airport, I was reluctant. I use to have the biggest crush on you when I was 15/16, but it had been years. I wasn't the same anymore. I didn't know what to expect, but when I reconnected with you; something unexpected happened. I started to want to be around you all the time. You made me feel like myself again. You know we have a special connection, Bells. Get out my sketch pad...look at the last drawing." Bella pulled it out and turned to the page he was talking about. She stared at sketch he had done. "How does it make you feel when you see how I see you through my eyes?"

"I..." she wasn't sure how to put it into words. He made her feel beautiful, and special. When they were together those times on the cliffs, she could easily pretend Nadia didn't exist. "Jake, I love it when you draw and I read. What else can I say about it? Yes, I feel the connection; but what do you want from me if you won't leave Nadia?"

"Bells, listen...I'm going to explain some things to you in a few days. I just have to get this damn bonfire out of the way first. Speaking of that, I really don't think you should go."

"Why?"

He sighed heavily. "Believe me, I was going to skip it at first, but I'm getting heat from my Dad and the counsel. I have specific responsibilities and according to them, it's all my fault that there is a high level of discord going on with the younger generation. I have to go and if I'm there, she will be too. Please don't go, Bells."

"You really have a lot of nerve Jacob. I'm going, Seth wants me there."

"Fine, I'll try and steer clear of you then. It'll be easier on both of us."

She was starting to feel very angry. He'd almost done it. He'd almost succeeded in pulling her back in, but she couldn't help but question his motives.

"Bells, spit it out, I can tell your pissed. I get it, I don't blame you."

"What you universe do you reside in Jacob? I'm not about to be your dirty, little secret. Let's go, I need to go home."

"Goddammit, Bells," he pounded his fist onto the steering wheel. "That's not what I think of you. You have no idea how important you are to me. I'm not looking out for myself if that's what you think. According to everything I've been told...I'm not suppose to be capable of having these feelings for you, but I do. It just proves my theory that some kind of fucked up shit is going on with my people. I've angered a lot of people, especially Old Quil and my father, since my relationship with Nadia and my pursuit of certain truths, but I'm going to figure it out. I swear, I can fix this."

"Jake, I don't have a clue what you mean...who could possibly force you to be with Nadia? You're a grown man, your Dad is the chief or is that why? I don't get it."

"No, I don't expect you to, but you will someday. Bella, please again...don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you should even be attempting a relationship with Seth?"

She felt all the blood drain out of her face. Was she in shock? Was she extremely pissed or should she start laughing? He had to be out of his mind. "Attempting? I'm not faking it, I really care about him. Of course, I know something else is going on. I'm confused. You make me confused, but no way I'm I breaking up with Seth because of you. He's the only normal, healthy relationship I've ever had. You're talking in circles as far as I'm concerned. I don't understand you. I doubt you even have real feelings for me, Dr. Thompson said not to confuse familiarity with emotions." He looked at Bella with dark stare. Her heart sped up, he was making her feel fearful.

He ended up getting out of the truck and slamming the door so hard that she was thankful for it's sturdiness. He could have destroyed a lesser car. He disappeared around the corner. Now she finally saw what she had been warned against. He had a short fuse when he didn't get his way. This was her chance, Dr. Thompson said it would be empowering if she would leave him. That would send the message; they were through, friendship or anything else. She started the truck and pressed on the clutch. It made a terrible grinding noise as she attempted to get it in gear. She wasn't doing it right, even though she knew the exact quirks of the truck. She normally could have driven it in her sleep. She started over and started to back up, but after only a few feet backwards, she was putting it back in 1st and letting it pull forward again. She shut the truck off and went to see where Jake had gone.

She didn't see him at first, but finally she found him down by a stream at the edge of the park. He was leaning against the railing of a small bridge that crossed the water. She could see tremors running through his body, he was visibly shaking. Whatever sense she had before, when she stood up to him had left her as soon as she got out of the truck. Jacob was hurting. Something bad had happened to him, it wasn't just about her. There was no way she could abandon him. She reached out touched his back to let him know she had stayed.

"Don't touch me right now, Bella," he growled at her.

"Jake, let me help. I'm sorry we're fighting. Please..."

She hadn't listened to his warning. She stepped in closer and rubbed his back some more. She knew he was calming down, he wasn't shaking any longer. She put both her arms around him from the back. A few seconds ticked by and he turned around to hug her back. They stood there in their own world for awhile. Bella didn't know if anyone else was at the park, but she didn't care.

Jacob spoke, "I'm so sorry, Bells."

"Me too," she wasn't sure if she should be apologizing, but she did anyway.

He took his right hand and stroked her hair, he even leaned down and kissed the top of her head, "Damn, you're short," he said to lighten the mood.

"You're a giant, I'm normal," she shot back.

"Nope," he announced, "you are nothing normal, Bella Swan. Come on, I'll take you home."

She and Jacob walked back to the truck with their hands intertwined. He opened the driver's side door and she climbed in stopping in the middle of the bench. She saw the smirk on his face when he realized she was going to sit beside him.

He got them on the road towards Forks and she leaned into his side. He put his arm around her the rest of the way. Bella liked being so close to him, once they started touching, she craved more. She rested her forearm on his thigh and before too long she rubbed the denim covered area. He was so warm, so strong...her hand was compelled to pour out her affection for him there. She didn't care what they had been fighting about, she only wanted to reassure him. She wasn't bailing on their friendship no matter how complicated it had gotten. Bella continued to rub his thigh as his fingers gently stroked the top of her shoulder. Her hand soon began to followed a path towards the inside of his leg, Jacob startled her, "Alright Bells, I think that's enough..."

She jerked back her hand embarrassed that he wanted her to stop touching him. He looked at her and then back to the road, "It's okay, honey." He removed his arm from her shoulder and took the hand that had caused the disturbance. "I only meant if you didn't quit, I was going to stop this truck and I'm pretty sure you weren't ready for what would have happened if I did."

She felt a swarm of butterflies take flight from within at his admission and she knew she was blushing like a fool. She still found the courage to squeeze his hand.

"We are a fucked up mess, Bells...but I don't care."

She didn't reply but in her mind she thought, "Neither do I."

They stayed that way until Bella saw they were entering Forks. She released Jake's hand and slid to opposite side of the truck. He gave her a knowing glance. She missed him already, but as soon as she saw Charlie's; she was brought back to reality. Seth was there. "I'm so sorry Seth," she whispered.

Jacob's demeanor quickly shifted. "Bella, I have to talk to him."

"About what?" Surely, it wasn't about them.

"It's tribal business," he assured her.

"I'll keep him outside and give you a chance to maybe run in and change your shirt."

"Why, what's wrong with my shirt?"

"Bells, please, just trust me...your evening will go smoother if you go change the damn shirt."

"Fine...you sure know how to kill a moment Jake. Just when I'm about to...forget it," she said as she got out the truck. Seth was still sitting in his truck. He got out when she did and he started towards Bella, but Jacob came in between them.

"What the hell is going on?" Seth asked as he looked at the two of them. "You went to Port Angeles with her?"

"Bella, I'm glad you're doing better, but if you don't mind I need to talk to Seth real quick."

Bella forced a smile, so that Seth would believe everything was a'ok and started into the house. She shut the door in slow motion, but she was able to hear Seth's angry voice, "You told her...I told you I wanted to."

"No, it wasn't the right time, but you aren't doing it and that's an order," Jacob's said with authority.

She hurried away from the door after that and ran up stairs to change her shirt. Due to some unknown compulsion, she shoved it to the bottom of the hamper and covered with two days worth of dirty clothes from both her and Charlie. What did Seth mean "told her" and why does he accept orders from Jacob? She was more confused than ever, but one thing felt certain. That was the moment when she would begin to lead a double life, no matter how unintentional; it was still a fact.

_**The bonfire is next...will Bella do okay since she believes she has "exercised her demons" ? ** My spoiler****_** Hell no, it's going to be a mess!**_** Catch you later today, I promise.**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Here it is, just as I promised...**_

Chapter 8 (Part 2)

Seth was in a terrible mood after Jacob left. He didn't act upset with Bella, but he only stayed a few minutes. He said he'd pick her up at 7 for the bonfire the next day. Jacob was right that he would distract him. He didn't even mention that the two of them had driven to Port Angeles. She should probably be feeling guilty for touching up Jacob's leg the whole way home, but it just felt so natural between them. It wasn't like she was planning to do more. She had every intention of staying true to Seth. Her heart was already perpetrating an act of betrayal, but she still believed she would overcome that. Jake needed her at the moment and she had never felt needed before. It clouded her judgment, but soon, it would all settle down and they would all know their place.

Those were all the things she told herself as she tried to fall asleep that night. She finally gave up and agreed with Jake's assessment, "We're a fucked up mess!" That was a much more accurate conclusion compared to all her justifications. She had no idea what to expect from this bonfire. At least, her Dad said he was also attending. She would have Seth, Charlie and Sue there as her support system. It should be easy enough to avoid Jacob and Nadia since it was outdoors and Seth said they expected a large turn out.

Bella had about ten different outfits thrown around her room. She was use to not spending too much time worrying about her wardrobe, but she heard the weather was expected to turn cold later that evening. It was kind of mild when she got out of school. She decided to go with a few layers: a t shirt with a long-sleeved flannel that she could button and her jacket. She put on black jeans with her leather ankle boots. She had thrown together some food the night before since Seth didn't stay. She made baked beans and a few dozen cupcakes. Seth told her she didn't have to, that there would be plenty of food. She wasn't so sure if there could ever be plenty after being around Seth and some of his friends, so she thought it was a good idea for her to bring something.

He stepped on her porch at exactly 6:55 and she was happy to see him smiling again. "You ready?"

"Yep, just help get the food, would ya?"

"Sure," he grabbed her from behind on her way to the kitchen, "But first," He gave her a big sloppy kiss, "Sorry about yesterday. You didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of my mood."

She kissed him back once more, "It's perfectly fine, I'm ready to have a great night. Charlie's meeting us there after work. I'm all set, let me grab a blanket and then we can go."

"Bella, I have a blanket already for you in the truck, I know about the weather, but we should be indoors before the front comes in."

"Oh, well, I'll bring mine just in case. You know, we all don't have a built in heater like you do."

They parked alongside several other cars. Seth said they had to walk the rest of the way. Bella could smell the smoke in the air and she heard the faint drumbeat of a song in the distance. She carried the cupcakes while he carried the beans along with her blanket draped over his arm. He told her he'd go back for the other one if she really needed it. The cool front was moving in a little sooner than predicted. Bella was happy to be greeted by a friendly face right off the bat.

"Hey Bella, what'd you bring to eat?" Embry asked.

"It's dessert, but I'll make sure you get one. I made a double batch."

Embry gave her a friendly hug and Bella took a quick survey of the surroundings. She breathed a sigh of relief at seeing her Dad sitting next to Billy and Sue. Seth pointed out Quil's grandfather as well. Bella was a little curious about him. Apparently, he was very set in his ways and with traditions, but he still looked kind to her. He appeared to be the oldest attendee of the evening. There were three distinct groups forming. The older crowd where Charlie was, the rowdy bunch where Seth was leading them and the couples. Even though she and Seth were a couple, they weren't about to go over to where Jacob was. He had his back turned to her. Perfect, dark colored manicured fingernails were running up the back of his head. She was at least spared seeing their faces. She was overcome with an urge to get a pair of pliers and pull each one of those expensive glitter coated fake nails off. She might be able to get to one of them off before someone grabbed ahold of her to disarm her.

"Bella, hey did you hear Kim?" Seth shook her out of her twisted fantasy.

"Oh, hi Kim, how are you?" Bella responded.

"Fine, it's nice to see you again, Bella. We didn't get to talk much last time. Jared told me you're a teacher. You must be really smart." Bella heard the first of many snickers from across their small circle.

"Well, this year, I'm only an aide, but it's still a nice job."

"Do you like kids a lot?" Kim asked.

"Yeah, the little ones are lots of fun."

"Jared and I are going to have a bunch some day," she smiled putting her crooked teeth on display.

"Really, that's nice."

"Yeah, well, I was an only child, my parents didn't want kids at all. I was an accident, so they always told me," Kim admitted.

Bella instantly felt sympathy for her, she knew what it was like to be an only child. However, her parents had never constantly reminded her she wasn't wanted or was an accident. That was pretty sad. Poor Kim.

She put on her most sincere smile, to engage her in a little more conversation. Of course she seemed annoying, but Bella wanted to give her a chance. "Kim, do you work too?"

"I work for Jared's Dad. I try and keep his office in order, but he gets mad at me a lot when I screw up." She turned back to see if Jared was watching, and he was. She lowered her voice. "What I really like is sewing and making things. It's like the only thing that makes sense to me. I can follow a pattern and make just about anything, but it's not a very profitable talent."

Bella had an idea. "Maybe you could help me with decorating Seth's house."

Kim's face lit up, "I would love that, are you serious?"

Bella felt Seth nudge her side. She gave him a dirty look. Paul started to laugh again, and she covertly pointed her finger to shut him up. She wasn't going to let them continue to make fun of Kim in her presence any longer. It wasn't right.

"Yes, I'll get your number from Seth and we'll get together soon."

"Oh, okay...well, I should get back to Jared. Thank you, Bella." Kim headed back to the other couples.

"You all need to quit. She's the only person to come over and talk to me tonight. She needs someone to show her respect. Grow up and support your friend." The guys didn't argue with her, and she glanced back at Jared. He had a sweet smile on his lips and he nodded at her. Bella didn't think she made her announcement very loud, but Jared was probably happy that she took the time to talk to Kim.

The next topic of conversation was food. As soon as Sue, stated it was time to eat, the line formed quickly. Bella started to make a small plate when a woman stopped across the table from her. "So you're Bella?"

She looked up to see where the voice was coming from. Bella quickly made the assumption it was Emily Uley, because she recognized her profile from sitting close to Sam earlier. She was very beautiful, but had three prominent scars on one side of her face. Seth had failed to mention that detail and it caught her off guard. She really wasn't trying to stare, she was merely surprised. "Oh, yes, I'm Bella...you must be Emily." Bella sat her plate down in order to shake Emily's hand, but instead she was met with an insult.

"Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer. You know, your face isn't that great either."

Bella tried to backtrack, "Um...no, I didn't-I'm sorry."

"Save it, it's not like you matter anyway," and Emily did a 180 and walked away from her.

Bella had zero appetite, but she carried her plate back to the group. All the guys were staring again. She slapped at Seth's shoulder, "Thanks for warning me. That was embarrassing."

"Sorry, but who cares..." He whispered in her ear, "She's a bitch, the scars have nothing to do with it."

Bella sat there and picked at her plate. Most of the guys went back for thirds. Bella heard the loud, shrill voice of a young child and she turned towards the sound, "No Quil, Aunt Emily put mustard on it...make me another hot dog," she whined.

Bella watched as the cute little girl popped the tab on a soda.

The guy, Quil, who she had yet to meet, reprimanded her, "Claire, your Mom said no sodas after 8."

She was a bossy little thing. "Really, what is it 8:15?" She looked around dramatically and stated, "And she's not here, is she? You know you won't tell on me." She announced before taking a long sip from the can.

Bella pinched Seth's leg and gave him a questioning glance.

"Later," was all he said.

Bella knew after working with children, they could get in moods, especially if they were tired. Something told her that little girl, Claire was beyond a mood and she was extremely spoiled. She wasn't sure why she made so many demands on Quil, but maybe he was related in some way. She'd find out from Seth later.

Quil made his way over to their little group and introduced himself. "Hi, Bella, it's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you from Seth."

She blushed and Seth squeezed her in a little closer.

The little girl was behind him, "This is Claire by the way."

"Hi Claire, its nice to meet you," Bella used her school voice trying to make a connection to the child.

"You're really white," she announced.

Quil corrected her, "Claire, don't be rude."

"How's that rude. She is. Guess what, Bella?"

"What?" she was trying to ignore the white remark.

"My aunties are taking me shopping tomorrow and I'm going to get my nails done just like Aunt Nadia's."

"Oh that's nice, I hope you have fun."

"Do you like to shop?" Claire asked.

"Not too much, its not really my thing," she was truthful.

"Is that's why you dress like a boy?" Bella choked on her own saliva. What the hell was wrong with this little girl. Why did she find the need to chop on her as soon as they met. Then she made it way worse when she yelled as loud as she could, "Hey Aunt Nadia, Seth's new girlfriend dresses like a boy, doesn't she?"  
That's when it happened, both Nadia and Jacob turned toward her. Bella felt her glare burn through her. Perhaps, she did know about her and Jacob's friendship. She motioned for Claire to come to her. She whispered something in the little girl's ear, and then Emily joined in on their laughter. Jacob sat there taking deep breaths. She could see the rise and fall of his large chest, but he kept quiet and didn't seem to have a response. Bella thought the only good to come out of the situation was Kim never laughed at her. She wouldn't forget that, it meant a lot. Paul, Brady and Collin had even laughed until Seth shut them up.

He made them apologize and told her not to worry about it. "Hey ignore them, we're still going to have a good night."

Her mood had plummeted. She hadn't felt good about being there since first walking up and seeing Nadia wrapped around Jake. The insults from Emily and Claire had completely ruined any happiness she had about spending time with Seth. She really wished she could go home.

"Seth, maybe I should ask Charlie to take me home. I'm cold and I don't feel so well."

"No, Bella...come on. Here if your cold, get closer." He picked her up and pulled her directly into his lap and tucked the blanket tighter around them. "Besides, Charlie is staying at my house tonight. He and I had a long talk today."

"About what?"

"Man stuff, don't worry about it, but I was kinda hoping you wouldn't mind if stayed over with you. You know, so you don't have to be alone or anything."

"So my Dad is good with you spending the night with me?"

"Charlie trusts me and in case you didn't notice we're adults, baby," he crooned in her ear.

Bella looked across to where Jacob was to see that he'd moved. He had a clear view of her now. She wasn't normally petty, but she wanted to pay him back somehow for what she had already endured. She snuggled in closer to Seth and kissed him on the neck. He responded by kissing her mouth. She was normally way too modest for PDA, but she would make an exception for now.

Seth stopped kissing her a second, "No expectations, okay. I really just want us to have more alone time. Is that alright?"

"Of course, Seth, I want you to stay the night," she went straight back to kissing him again.

He was suddenly eager to leave and start that alone time, "I think we should call it a night...agree?" She glanced at Jake yet again. He had that scary look she remembered from the previous day. He took another sip from his bottle of beer. She had noticed he had one after the other the entire night. She was shocked at how much he was drinking. They had never discussed drinking before other than her mentioning once, she never drank.

She shook her head. "I want to grab a bottle of water first." She stopped by to tell her Dad and Sue good night. They were packing up to leave, they were going to take Billy home. She walked back to the cooler to dig out a water. When she stood up, she was there directly in her face.

Bella tentatively spoke up, "Hi, I'm Bella."

Jake also approached and stood next to Nadia. He put a protective arm around her. Bella wondered who exactly he was protecting.

"Yeah, I know who you are, Bell-la," she drug out her name.

Bella swallowed nervously, but she was determined to act like she was unfazed, "Hey, Jake," she held up her hand in a slight wave.

"Hi Bella," was his only response.

Nadia's piercing hazel eyes squinted down and she pursed her lips. Bella had just pissed her off without even trying. "Didn't I see you with Paul before?"

Bella only got out,"Um..."

"So which is it? Paul or Seth?" Her voice was like jagged glass, sharp and stinging, "Nevermind, I'm sure it's both. A girl like you takes what she can get, right?" Then she turned back towards Emily who was laughing. Then Claire started laughing. Jake just stood there like a statue with his arm still around her. Bella thought his face was expressionless except for a twitch she saw in his left eye. She had no idea what to say. Her throat felt extremely dry all of the sudden.

Seth came out of nowhere. She didn't know if he'd heard, but he had, "Shut the fuck up, Nadia," He looked at Jake, "Keep a tighter leash on your, bitch Jake,"

"Watch it, Seth." He put his hand on his shoulder and Seth slapped it off.

"Bella didn't do anything to you, that was uncalled for."

"We'll see about that, won't we?" She gave a final glare at Bella before pulling Jacob's arm, "Let's go baby. I'm bored." She actually turned back around to give Bella one more threatening glance.

"Bella come here," Seth pulled her back toward the spot they had sat in. He threw her blanket back over her.

"Can we please go?" was all she said.

"In a minute, I have to talk to Sam about something."

Leah came over next. Great, that was all Bella needed to top off the night

"Hey, Swan...Are you really that much of a mouse? Damn, girl...you didn't say anything to defend yourself the whole night. You even let an 8 year old walk all over you. What the hell?" Leah wasn't shy or reserved in the least.

"Leah, I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, I'm going to do you a favor since Seth really likes you. You and I are going out for shots this week. I'll call you and let you know when, but you are in desperate need of self-defense lessons. It can't be soon enough."

Seth interrupted, "Leah."

"Your welcome, baby brother," she told him.

"No, I wasn't going to thank you. Bella doesn't drink, you need to stay out of it."

"Bella, speak up for yourself. Are you going to let Seth speak for you or are you going to go with me?"

"Um...sure Leah, I'll go, but Seth's right, I don't drink."

"We'll see about that," and she turned around and walked off.

Seth rubbed her back and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I swear, I'll only be a few minutes with Sam and then we can go."

Bella sat there alone for a few minutes. Finally, for the first time of the night, no one seemed to be paying attention to her, so she made the split decision to walk off on her own. She wrapped up in her blanket and headed back towards the truck. Right before she was about to climb in the bed of the truck, a hand grabbed hold of her wrist.

"I told you not to come here for a reason."

"Let go of me Jacob," she turned around to look at him. "Your girlfriend actually unhinged herself from you for once, tonight. Where is she?"

"She's inside with Emily planning their shopping trip tomorrow. I needed to see if you were alright."

"No, I'm not. I've been insulted, humiliated and in case you missed it, threatened in front of everyone. You didn't say one thing in my defense, but now that we are alone in the dark, you are kind enough to check on me. I don't need your false sympathy. My boyfriend will be back in a minute and he's going to comfort me," she couldn't help to add, "the entire night, so I don't need you."

"Bella, don't do anything you aren't ready for just because you're angry with me."

"Why do you make everything about you? Are you truly that narcissistic, Jake?"

"Bells...please?"

"So now it's Bells. Bet Nadia doesn't know that's your nickname for me, does she?

"Look...you called me Jake. That's what set her off, she's obviously done her homework. She always does, and she's suspicious we know each other pretty well."

"All the guys call you Jake," she stated the obvious, not seeing what the big deal was.

"Exactly, the guys...not women."

"Forget it Jacob, I don't care anymore. Go back to your hopeless relationship. You two seem perfect for one another. Stay the fuck away from me." She rarely used that language, but he certainly deserved it.

"Your one to talk, Bella. Don't think, I don't know you were trying to make me jealous out there when you climbed in Seth's lap. You're using him to get back at me. You proved it when you admitted he was spending the night with you. Just be careful, when you let him fuck you, that you don't yell out the wrong name. We both know the name you call out at night and it sure isn't, 'Seth' is it?"

She felt a wave a nausea sweep over her. How did he know that or was he just guessing. She knew her response proved what he said was true. He didn't try to hide that self assured cocky smirk he'd perfected. He stripped her with his smoldering gaze. She was infuriated with him, but she did scream out his name in her sleep. She was so consumed with jealousy for him tonight, it was almost certain; she could not be with Seth anytime soon. She had used him previously. When they were alone, it was so easy to feel confident in her feelings for him; but when Jacob was near, her sincerity was lost in the atmosphere. She should hate him for what he was doing to her, but she didn't.

Jacob's voice had softened, he reached out to touch her again. "I'm sorry about tonight. You didn't deserve any of it. I know you're better than any of them put together. Bells, you know that's true, right?"

She didn't answer.

"Bella, don't spend the night with Seth," he pleaded.

"Jacob, that's hardly your business."

"Maybe not, but please don't." He looked around, "Seth's looking for you, I have to go. I'll be by tomorrow." and then he disappeared into the night, as quick as he'd shown up.

It was dark, but Bella heard a disturbance, she climbed out of Seth's truck bed and started heading back, but Seth met her on the path. His lip was bleeding.

"Seth, oh my god, what happened?" She knew who did it, but she asked despite the obvious.

"Jake paid me back for disrespecting Nadia," he seemed certain, but Bella thought there were other reasons behind the punch. "But at least I got one in for what he allowed her to say to you." He held up a very swollen hand with bloodied knuckles.

"Seth, I think it's broken," she was shocked at how much damage a single punch had done to his hand.

"Nah, I just need a little ice, it'll be fine. Don't worry, it's not the first time, I've fought with Jake. You should've waited on me. The truck was open, why did you sit out in the weather. Come here, you're freezing."

Seth helped her in the cab and held her close. He warmed the truck up for awhile before they started driving.

"Seth, I think you should drop me off. I'm not really in the mood for company."

"Seriously, Bella. You're going to let that bitch spoil the rest of our evening? I told you. I tried to warn you that any friendship with Jacob would only end up hurting you. Did you honestly expect him to stand up for you?"

"I...I don't know what I thought. Why are you so angry with me?"

"Because you were too stubborn. I tried to spare you, but you thought you knew him. I know the real Jake, not the one you knew five years ago. I've watched Nadia this past year break apart all of us. We were a tight group, more like brothers than friends, but he let her come between all of us. Once she even insulted my mother and he didn't blink an eye. My Mom was like a second mom to him after he lost Sarah. She disrespected her in our home and when Leah jumped her ass, Jacob stepped in and Leah ended up on the floor.

"Jake hit Leah?""

"No, he wouldn't go that far, but he stepped in front of her and running into him is like hitting a brick wall, Leah fell. I'm just trying to prove my point, Jacob has earned his reputation. We aren't the ones at fault. Are you ready to listen or are you desperate for more punishment?"

"What's that suppose to mean?" she asked him.

"Nothing," was all he said before clamming up.

"No, I want to know."

He didn't answer her yet, instead he concentrated on getting back to Charlie's.

"Bella, you spent a lot of years dwelling on a bad relationship, maybe that's what you're accustom too. I'm not sure if you're ready to let yourself have something that's good for you."

"Are you saying, I want to be treated badly?"

"Maybe not on purpose, but..." his voice trailed off.

They pulled in the driveway, she didn't want him to come inside. "Just leave, Seth."

"No, let me come in. I don't want to leave while we're both mad."

"I need some space, I'm tired and I'm hungry. I want to be alone."

"Hungry? Why didn't you eat, there was tons of food?"

"In case you didn't notice, that wasn't the most peaceful environment. I don't eat when I'm upset." She started to scoot over to exit the passenger door. He ran around and attempted to hug her. She stiffened for old times sake, further proving his suspicions, she wasn't accepting of things that were good for her.

"Don't come back, Seth until I call you."

He pulled out his phone and looked at it second before shoving it back into his pocket, "No problem I've got something I have to do right now anyway."

"It's almost midnight, is it the station?"

"No, it doesn't concern you. Maybe you should ask your good buddy about it if you really want to know? Bye Bella. Hurry up and get inside, it's getting colder by the second and lock up."

She went inside, the house was still and quiet except for the sound of the wind that was stirring outside. Bella stripped off her smoky clothes and climbed into the hottest shower her skin could stand. She wished she would have heeded Jake's warning and had never gone. Seth could have come over and they could have had a calm evening at home. It would have been so much better. Now she was fighting with both Seth and Jacob, because of attending that stupid event. She stayed in the shower and let the water burn her until it started to become cooler. She shut it off and wrapped up in a towel. Charlie was gone, so she hadn't bothered carrying clothes to the bathroom with her. She pulled on a soft cotton nightshirt that came to her thighs and a pair of blue cotton panties. She turned up the furnace to combat the dropping temperature outside and slid in between the covers.

Her anger and frustration were replaced with other emotions. They were familiar to her. Was Seth right in his assessment? She was overcome with shame, fear and doubt. She was all alone, not just physically because Charlie was gone. It was more than that. She felt like she was all alone in the universe. She thought Jacob understood her and that Seth did as well, but she was wrong. The chills ran up and down her spine first. Then the tingling started. He arm twinged, it was happening. She needed to stop it, she had succeeded for almost two years. She was strong enough to fight back, but for some reason tonight, she didn't want to fight anymore. She felt like she had already exited her body and she was merely an observer. She watched her feet swing off the bed, leaving the covers thrown to the side. She heard the creak of each step as she walked down the stairs. She headed towards the back door as that was the gateway to her destination. One thing sidetracked her in the kitchen, she plucked the biggest one out of the block and headed out the door. The cold sting of the wind no longer chilled her. She wasn't feeling any longer. Her body registered that the damp, cold ground actually burned her feet but her mind didn't care, as she continued towards the spot she needed to locate. He left her there a long time before, but the memory was summoning her back. She might have felt the first cut, but the rest didn't even bother her as she continued deeper into the woods. The butcher knife in her hand swung loosely between her fingers and she didn't mind how many times, it caught on the side of her leg. The lacerations kept her focused on what she needed to do. She was going to do it right this time, no one would even know she was missing before it was too late and it was definitely too late, for Bella.

**_Thanks so much for reading._**

**_So, Nadia, huh? Jake's POV is next!_**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

_**Love him or hate him, this is Jake's side of the story**_

Chapter 9

He let the hot water pour over his back as his head hung down. He might consider staying in there all night if it could wash away what he'd just done. Better yet, wash away the entire last year of his life away. He was so self-assured before, such a cocky bastard. All of them were, especially the single ones. The speed, the power, the abilities and the physicalities had gone straight to their heads. They were successful in all their endeavors. The ladies swooned wherever they roamed and they all took advantage, especially after a kill. Of course, the only thing they did kill were vampires. The pack was strong with 10 members. No new ones had phased in years. They didn't need anyone else. Any single leech that got in the vicinity was taken down without mercy. The only one that had been a real challenge was a red-headed bitch that was faster than the rest. She was quite tenacious, but they eventually set a trap even she couldn't escape.

Jacob couldn't help himself, he always pictured it was Cullen when he took them apart. He couldn't believe the truth when he phased and realized what he'd exposed Bella to, forcing her to leave. The treaty was null, since he had passed that information on to the doctor. That vamp had the nerve to call and check on Bella once. They all knew better than to come back to the area.

The water had long since turned cold, so he shut it off. He had no intention on returning to their bedroom for the night.

His mind flashed back to when they came in from the bonfire. He was so fucking mad, mostly at himself, but also at Nadia. She was a ruthless bitch and he hated being tied to her. He was also mad at Seth. He hated having to see him touch all over Bells. He didn't know how he considered her to be his, but he did from the beginning. It felt good to pop him in the mouth before he left with Bella. He wasn't even trying or Seth wouldn't have been able to walk back to her, but he couldn't let her know what he was capable of. He didn't think she going through with spending the night with him, but he sent Seth on a special patrol, which was pretty much bullshit that he concocted to get him far away from Bella for the night. She was vulnerable and she didn't need Seth taking advantage just because he was frustrated.

Nadia had started up before they even walked in the door. "You think I didn't know, Jake? How stupid do you think I am? I put two and two together. You've been pulling the disappearing act since she got back into town. We use to always be together unless you were at work. Sometimes I was even there too. How long has it been since you asked me to the garage? Don't blame it on those dicks you work with either. I know they can't refuse you, just like you can't refuse me." He hadn't said a word back to her, he only stared blankly across the room waiting for it to end.

"That's what I want right now. I want you Jake, because you're mine and you're going to tell me the whole time."

She started to undress right in the middle of the living room. Her body was damn near perfect and she would be desired by any red-blooded male. He'd long since stop caring about her physical appearance. She spent enough of her time and his money on it, that it was a source of contention. Their whole relationship was a sham in his mind. His feelings for her were all forced, they were completely unnatural and against his will. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't say "no" to her. He followed her into their room. He also followed suit and had stripped off his own clothes, preferring she not do it. In fact, he was so disgusted by her this evening, he wanted to touch her as little as possible. She fell back to the bed on her back spread eagle without hesitation, "Fuck me, Jake and tell me it's me you want and not that hokwat, Bella Swan. I want you to say it."

He never refused her, but he also couldn't disrespect Bella in the manner she was requesting. She would never know if he said those words, but he'd know. Somehow, he found his balls, and fought the pull. His wolf literally clawed him from within.

"Turn over," he stated with zero emotion.

"Okay, baby, but I still need to hear you say it."

"Shut the fuck up, that's all I'm saying," and she cried out painfully as he slammed into her. It was quick and hard and didn't last very long. He pushed away and went straight to the bathroom. She was speechless, it was the first time he had disrespected her outright. He pretty much treated her like a whore. She was use to that, she'd been one in the past, but not from him.

He'd hidden out in the bathroom for nearly an hour. He decided to go for a ride on his bike. He didn't want to chance any of the other wolves reading his thoughts. He was excellent as alpha locking them down, but tonight he was too emotional, he might slip up.

She stepped out wrapped in a sheet. "That's it? You bastard, where do you think you're going? What can she give you? I know you aren't capable of sleeping with her, because of our bond. There's no point in you spending time with her? If you walk out on me tonight, they'll be hell to pay. I'm going to the counsel!"

"Like I give a fuck," he said as he slammed the door in her face.

Jacob had once thought the same thing, that he couldn't be with Bella, but that was another lie he'd been fed. His body had responded to her several times. He'd have no trouble convincing her how he felt when he knew she was ready. He'd pushed too much earlier in the week, but he'd been outside her window several times. He couldn't help but know what some of her dreams were about and he saw the conformation on her face when her teacher friend asked her at the diner.

Jacob started up his motorcycle and sped off. It had turned cold and windy, which normally didn't bother him. He did think to put on his leather jacket, because he wasn't fond of getting wet. There was a blowing mist in the air. He wanted to get away from the reservation, so he headed out of town. He figured he'd drive a little while and then go check on Bella. He'd stay outside, he knew she wouldn't want to see him. Seth was still occupied and he knew she would be alone all night.

Seth and Embry had been his closest confidants through the years, but he fought with Seth a lot lately. It started even before Bella came back. The single guys use to go out to clubs once a month or any night after they took down a leech. It wasn't too often, a vamp came their way. Maybe they had heard what went on there. Jacob didn't know if he should worry, but Sam had thought he found a scent earlier in the day. Jacob had checked it out himself, he thought it was old and it was way off the reservation, but when they were bored, they extended their patrols to further regions. That's the excuse Jake had given Seth for the night. Collin and Paul were on the regular route, but he insisted he and Sam take a closer look at the area that extended past the Makah reservation.

Jacob had even distanced himself from Embry. He resented the fact that he was more of a son to Billy than he was now. Embry took good care of him and the little red house that had been his childhood home. Part of his rift with Billy was purely his fault for siding with the elders. Jacob had been the only one to raise hell about imprinting. He didn't believe for a second it was beneficial or a blessing. He wanted to dig deeper in the archives, but those old codgers on the counsel held to them like they were the holy grail. There had to be a way to break the imprint. He was sure of it, there were no absolutes in life, in his opinion.

Sam had been the first to fall when he was alpha. The aftermath wasn't pretty. Emily turned out to be a royal bitch, and Sam accidentally phased too close to her. He ran around with the guilt trip of all time and was an extreme pain in the ass to follow. Leah went from an extremely cool chick to a someone that was bitter and full of resentment. She was hard to tolerate on a good day. Jacob had to listen to both of him in his head all the time. He wasn't thrilled about taking over right before he turned 18, but it ended up being much better. He evened out the pack, focused on their strengths, played down individual weaknesses. He was made to lead. His fucking Dad insisted the reason Sam was a poor alpha was because of the imprint. It was assumed Jake never would imprint. Jared was next, and Kim was pretty unfortunate looking, but she wasn't as bad as Emily. He thought about how Bella had treated her at the bonfire and he smiled thinking about it. He had rarely seen anyone act nice towards Kim, it really proved how good her heart was. It's one of the things that attracted him to her.

The next one to imprint was Quil with Claire, when she was barely three years old. That is when Jacob first started raising hell at the counsel meetings. Old Quil recited one of the legends that the imprint was the purest of gifts for the wolf, and that he would never see another. He would forever be devoted to her and only love the imprint. He would die without her, blah blah blah and a bunch of other shit Jacob didn't believe. He wanted to know if their ancestors intended to destroy the future pack by saddling them with horrendous mates, if any of them really had any influence. It was a bunch of nonsense, but he had to believe some of it, because he had once thought the legend of descending from wolves wasn't true and that came back to bite him in the ass. How was symbolically making Quil a eunuch a beautiful thing? The imprint to a kid literally tied a band to his nuts. He wasn't a pervert despite what outsiders might think seeing him with a kid all the time, but he couldn't go out and get involved with women his own age. It was a terrible burden. Jake worried about him. He was nothing like his former self. He use to be the prankster, the cut up of the group. Now, he was as serious as fuck the majority of the time. Jacob could tell he was completely defeated, because he was right there with him.

It had been over three years, since Quil, when it happened to him. At a fucking bar, no less, he met her in a bar. All of them had been so stupid to hang out in places like that, they couldn't even get drunk. They only went for the girls, and Jacob even had enough conscious to not always hook up with someone. Every once in awhile, he felt disturbed by the whole process about picking up strangers. He secretly wanted a real relationship, but the only example that he had before him were Sam and Jared. He didn't want anything like they had. Seth and Embry gave up that lifestyle after he had imprinted on Nadia, knowing none of them were safe anywhere. They had spent quite a bit of time making fun of the imprinted wolves. They even nicknamed them. They were ICEd, imprint club exclusives. They messed around with the last initial. Paul came up with some good ones: endgame, executed, eternity, endless. It made for a good laugh, at times.

The day Seth questioned him for asking Bella to the garage, he brought that very thing up. Jacob wanted to punch him that afternoon, but he wouldn't do that in front of Bella.

"Why do you think you can hang out with Bella, man?"

"She's a friend."

"You're iced, you can't be friends with her, leave her alone."

"Don't fucking call me that unless you want to pick your teeth out of Charlie's grass."

"You're the one that made that up, Jake. You were the one that hated imprinting the most. Now, look at you, you're the worst one of them all. No one can stand you. Do Bella a favor, leave her alone!"

Jacob knew everything he told him that afternoon was true, but he wasn't about to listen to him. He didn't take orders from anyone, except Nadia, unfortunately. He was determined to prove them wrong. Maybe if he succeeded in being friends with Bella, he might be able to mend some of the fences with his pack. He was ready to find some balance in his life. He felt a sliver of hope when she came back. She did something to him. Like he had told her, she reminded him of who he use to be.

Just thinking about that again, made him need to be near her. He turned around to go to Charlie's. He pulled up to the side garage and pushed his motorcycle inside. Then he went to the side of the house where her window was. The house was completely dark, he was relieved thinking she was sleeping soundly in her bed. The wind had calmed down a little, so he listened to see if he could hear her. For some reason, he was overcome with a feeling, something wasn't right. She wasn't in her room, he was sure of it. He decided to go in. He went to retrieve the extra key, but it was gone. "Dammit, Bells!"

She had said she was going to get rid of that key and it was gone. He decided breaking in the back door was a better idea than knocking down Charlie's front door. He went around the back of the house, but he didn't need to go in. He caught her scent as soon as he stepped in the backyard. He quickly followed the trail in the woods, but soon he detected another smell. It was blood. Bella was bleeding, not that much at first, but the further he went, the more blood there was. It was practically freezing counting the wind chill, why would she be in the woods? There were no other scents mixed in with hers, so he knew she was out there on her own.

He was just about to phase to get to her quicker, but the wind shifted and he realized she was extremely close. He finally was able to hear her heartbeat, but it was so slow. He ran full speed towards the sound. She was laying on the ground, the blood was all over her leg. She wasn't moving and a large knife was still in her hand. He couldn't think about why or how, he had to get her indoors as fast as he could. He pried the knife away and tossed it in the leaves. He scooped her up and ran with her back to the house. She was so cold, her lips had a bluish tint to them and she had dark circles under eyes. He leg did have quite a bit of blood on it, but it wasn't gushing so that was a good sign she didn't have any deep cuts. He looked at her arm because he knew her story, but it was unharmed. Maybe the cold got to her before she had time to really hurt herself, or perhaps she changed her mind all together once she got out there. Her swore to her that he wouldn't interfere with her recovery, but this was a direct result of their friendship. He did this to her and he would never forgive himself.

He turned on the light downstairs to get a good look at her thigh. He decided to take her up to the bathroom with him to look for the first aide kit. If it was bad, he'd just get her in the truck and take her to the hospital. Charlie was going to flip and he didn't know how he'd explain it to anyone without revealing Bella's secret. She was coming around a little because every once in awhile she moaned or made noise.

He heated the water and used a warm, wet rag to clean up the cuts. There were several, but only one was a little deep. He held pressure to that one and then bandaged each one individually. He took a large bandage to cover them all a second time. He noticed her feet were scraped up as well, so he ran some warm water over them. She flinched when the warm water touched her chilled skin. The next priority was to get her warmed up again. He carried her to her room. He knew he was the most effective way to reheat her body. He had no choice but to get her out of that wet, bloody night gown. He held her in his lap and pulled it off. She didn't have a bra on, "Sorry, Bells, you'll have to forgive me for this later."

He situated her on the bed and quickly covered her up. He stood there by the bed for a second, debating if he should really do what he thought he should do. He knew it was what she needed, so he took off all his clothes except his boxers and climbed in next her. He pulled her flush against his heated body. They were chest to chest, and he took his large hands and began to rub up and down her back. She was responding and she pushed her face into his neck. He never imagined the first time in bed with Bella would be anything like this. It wasn't sexual, he was only rescuing her. When she woke up, he had no idea what the aftermath would be. All he knew was, he had to make it right somehow.

"Jake," she mumbled.

"I'm here, Bells," he told her.

"What's wrong with me, Jake?"

"You're just cold, but I'll get you warmed back up soon, honey."

She rubbed her hands in his hair. Her eyes were still closed tight. He didn't think she was fully conscious. Maybe she thought she was dreaming. The next thing out of her mouth confirmed his hunch, "Jake...I love you," she whispered as her fingers moved through his hair again.

He held her tighter and wrapped his legs around hers to continue bringing her core temperature back up.

She was delirious from the near hypothermia, but he wondered if what she said was true and was that what he was also experiencing? Did he really love her? He had to believe that is where all of this was heading. If that was the case, would either of them survive what the consequences of their love for one another would bring?

_**Thanks again for reading**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**I have been on quite the writing kick lately. Do you enjoy the frequent updates? I worry I might forget a detail, so I jot down stuff every morning when I can.** _

Chapter 10

She was disoriented, hot and restricted because she attempted to move and it didn't work. "I think I'm dead," was her first thought. Then she heard the familiar sound of her ceiling fan. It had a certain rattle that she'd memorized when she fell asleep each night. She was in her room and everything else must have been a dream. She wanted to lift herself up to see the clock or find her phone, it was still pitch dark outside, so it wasn't morning. She still couldn't move, but she finally found feeling in her fingers. She flattened out her hand to feel what was in front of her. She jerked it back, that was a nipple, certainly not hers.

"Stop squirming, Bells," a voice spoke out.

She panicked, how much had she missed out on? Did she have a blackout or something. "Jake, what are you doing in my bed?"

"Saving your life, we'll talk about it in the morning, so go back to sleep."

"Let go of me."

He instantly released her, but as she started to pull back she felt the air on her chest, she was topless. She started grabbing for the sheet to cover herself. "Where are my pajamas?"

"You got them wet and dirty when you went out to the woods. I needed you out of them so I could warm you back up."

"You took off my clothes?"

"Yep, so you can stop trying so hard to cover up, I already saw. I'm not that noble, Bells...I looked."

She couldn't believe what he said. He saw her boobs and she was totally out of it. She wondered what position she had been in. What if he saw them at a bad angle? Ugh, he probably thought she too flat chested compared to what Nadia had under her blouse.

"I'm not sure what happened tonight, Jake, but you can go now," she informed him.

"Like hell I am. I'm staying, you can't be left alone. You were in the woods freezing to death with a large knife."

She pulled her arm out of the covers and felt.

"It's fine, you didn't do anything to it before I found you, but you cut your leg up."

"My leg?" she questioned. She ran her hand down her thigh and felt a large bandage there. Once she moved it, the soreness hit her. Her feet also ached.

"There's a lot we need to talk about, but seriously it's only 3 in the morning, go back to sleep and we'll talk in the morning."

"I'm not sleeping naked with you, Jake," she said with a huff.

He jerked down the covers to reveal his body, "I'm not naked, see and neither are you. You still have on blue panties."

She pulled the covers back up, after seeing they did have certain parts covered, but she still wanted a shirt. "I need a shirt."

He leaned over the side of the bed and threw her his. "Here,"

"No, I want one of my own," she pushed the shirt back to him.

"Fine, climb out of bed and get one, I'll lie back and enjoy the show. My night vision is quite good."

She reluctantly grabbed his shirt and slipped it on without revealing herself again.

"If you're going to stay then no more touching; stay on your side and I'll stay on mine," she instructed.

"Whatever it takes to go back to sleep...fine."

He rolled to his back, and she turned over til she was at the edge of the bed.

"Is that is far as you can go?"

"If I go any further, I'm going to roll off the bed. What's your problem, I'm not touching you."

"I feel like I can still feel you,"

He laughed at her.

She flopped around a few more times moving from her side to her back and then to her stomach. She was trying to get comfortable, but it wasn't easy. She started rubbing her feet up and down the covers. It was a habit she had as a child when she couldn't sleep or if she was upset. She happened to be both. She knew what Jacob had told her was true, she had slipped or regressed. The details were fuzzy, but she knew there was a huge problem. Her feet continued to move.

"Bells, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm rubbing the covers," she admitted.

"Well, stop."

"I can't," as soon as she said that, his large leg crossed over her calves halting her movements.

"Get your hot, big leg off of me, Jake, she complained. "Jake...Jake," but he wouldn't answer her back or move his leg. If she kept squirming, her leg ached, so she finally gave up.

She finally drifted back off to sleep and managed to stay asleep til morning. Even though she had told him "no more touching", she realized her back was pulled against his chest and his arm hung over her waist. She wouldn't admit it to him, but it felt pretty nice. She felt like she was protected in a warm cacoon. She reminded herself she was still mad at him.

"I know your awake," he said.

"How?"

"I just do, you ready to get up? I'll make you some breakfast."

He was still laying there holding her and making small talk like everything was normal between them.

"You get up first," she didn't want to prance around him in his t-shirt even though he'd already seen what was under there.

"In a minute," he told her.

"Why not now?"

"Because I'm kinda enjoying myself."

"Well, I'm not."

"Liar," and he pulled her even closer. That's when she felt it. Jacob was enjoying himself a little too much. She started to squirm and move, but he didn't release her.

"Ugh, Bells stop moving, you're making it worse."

"Well let go and go to the bathroom or something."

"Fine, I'm getting up. Close your eyes or don't." He let go and got off the bed. She held her eyes tightly shut, but ended up taking a peak. She saw every detail of his muscular backside as he walked out of her room. He only had on a pair of tight, black boxer briefs. She wanted to shut him out of her room, but it really hurt to move. She shuffled herself to the door and closed it. She had left an array of clothes out from the night before, so she grabbed some loose fitting yoga pants and a long sleeved tee. She didn't want to squeeze in jeans the way her leg felt. She saw Jacob's pants and jacket were still on her floor.

Did he plan on walking back in her room with only his underwear on or worse, maybe a towel? She got the shirt she'd worn half the night and his jeans. He had the shower running. She hobbled to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"No, that's okay. I have your clothes, I'll just hang them on the door."

She went back to her room and shut the door. She took out her phone. Seth called and so did Charlie. She probably should call Dr. Thompson, but what if she wanted to admit her for observation? Bella did not want that at all. Both Charlie and Seth only said they were calling to check on her. Seth said a few more things like he was sorry and when could they talk. He said he'd been up all night and was going to get some sleep. She no longer heard the water, so she stuck her head out the door. He was downstairs clanging pots around. She took her turn in the bathroom. He'd made himself at home in there, but he'd cleaned up after himself. She noticed he'd even used one of the extra toothbrushes she kept in the drawer. He left it in the cup right next to hers. She wasn't about to leave it out in the open, so she took it back to her room and stuffed in one of her drawers. What the hell was she thinking? Jacob didn't need his own toothbrush at her house, but she still felt like saving it.

After moving around so much, her leg really hurt and she thought it might be bleeding a little. She was going to have to ask Jacob for help, so she called out to him.

He was back in her room in less than a minute and he didn't have his shirt on even though she had left it with his jeans.

"You okay?" She couldn't help but stare like an idiot. Why hadn't he gotten fully dressed?

"Can you bring me the first aid kit? I think I've started my leg bleeding again," she stuttered. He brought back the box and came over to the bed. "You can go now, I'll fix it."

"No, I want to see, if it's bleeding again, maybe you need a few stitches on that deep one."

"But...um, I can't pull up the leg of these pants." She wasn't keen on showing him anymore of her body. He'd seen enough.

He obviously didn't understand her dilemma or think it was a big deal. "Lie back."

He reached for her waistband. "Dammit, Jake...stop, I'll do it." She squirmed and pulled down the pants just enough to expose her bandage.

He was grinning like a fool and she was beet red. She reached behind her and grabbed a pillow to cover up because her shirt wasn't long enough. He started to unwrap the outer bandage. She noticed he'd turned serious and he was very focused on taking proper care of her.

"Yes, it's bleeding, but not a lot. I think if you stay off of it and keep it rested, it'll be okay without stitches. I'll redress all of it and then I'll carry you down the stairs. I made you some scrambled eggs. I have coffee on as well."

Once Jacob announced his work was done, he pulled her pants back up and lifted her off the bed. She was pressed against his naked chest as he walked them both down the stairs.

"Jacob, where's your shirt?"

"I want you to keep that one, I've got an extra one stored on my bike."

"I don't need your shirt."

"Well, I still want you to keep it. I can't wear it anymore," was all he said, which didn't make any sense.

Jacob sat next to her at the table. He had two plates of cheesy scrambled eggs and toast. "I didn't know you cooked, this looks nice," she complimented him.

"Thanks, I don't know how to do too much, but I've perfected these."

She finished her plate, and Jacob was right, his eggs were really good. They didn't talk while they ate. She knew they had a lot to say to one another, but she didn't know where to start.

Jacob took their dishes to the sink and washed them all quickly. "Why don't you leave Charlie a note? We're going to be awhile."

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Someplace private."

She wasn't sure why they needed to leave, but she was trusting him.

He told her to sit tight for a second, and he walked outside, so she wrote a short note to her Dad. He was gone maybe 15 minutes, but when he came back in; he had taken the time to slip on that shirt he'd mentioned.

Jacob came up to Bella where she was sitting. "Do you need anything before we leave? I'll grab us some water. Do you want anything else?"

"No, I'll just grab my jacket as we go out."

"I'm going to carry you to the truck, okay?" he asked.

"Alright."

"You ready?"

"Yes."

He slowly lifted her up, but instead of heading for the front door, he took her to the kitchen counter and sat her down. He stepped in closer. "Bells, before we go, I...um I just wanted you to know how sorry I am about everything. You're so special to me," he gently stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand. "I know I have a funny way of showing it and I've made a huge mess of everything, but I swear it wasn't intentional. The most important thing to me is that you're healthy and safe. If that means staying away from you, that's what I'll do."

He looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. She responded to him by reaching for his shoulders and pulling him towards her. She wanted to hold him. It wasn't exactly forgiveness or understanding, but they both had a need for the comfort.

Jacob spoke up again, "After what I have to tell you, I'm pretty sure aren't going to want to see me again." He pulled back to look into her eyes. She could feel the intensity of his gaze. He was longing for something. Maybe she was too. "Bells, don't freak out, but can I? Just once to see what it's like..." he didn't say the word, but she knew what he was asking, since both of his hands held her face. She should say "no", but she didn't because she wanted the confirmation that her feelings were real. She put her hands around his neck and he stepped in another step closer. She closed her eyes, and then his lips pressed against hers. They had denied their feelings for too long, so the bottled up emotions poured out. There was nothing timid or hesitant about the kiss. It was immediately passionate. She clung harder to his neck, he pulled at her waist and she wrapped her good leg around him. The fusion of their mouths was like nothing she'd ever experienced. It was confusing and exhilarating all at once. Was this their first kiss, their only kiss, and their last kiss all rolled up into one? She couldn't get enough him. His mouth expertly coaxed hers to conform to whatever he wanted. He was in complete control. That taste of him was exquisite and would forever be burned onto her tongue. Finally, he pulled back to give her the oxygen her body desperately craved, but she would have easily let him smother her with that kiss that never felt like it would end. He then paid attention to her face and neck, giving her more kisses all over them. She rubbed down his back, which caused her regret that she'd insisted he put on a shirt. She wished she'd been touching his hot skin.

They gave each other a couple of more short kisses and Jacob leaned into her forehead and said, "Thank you."

"Jake...

"Hmm?"

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, Bells. Come on, lets go. I'd rather not run into Charlie just yet."

He picked her up and she held one arm around his neck. He grabbed the water bottles and she stuck out her free hand to grab her jacket off the hook. They got into her truck and she stayed in the middle next to him, no longer caring about being spotted. She couldn't possibly leave his side after what they'd just shared.

Jacob drove them to a cabin on the northern boundary of the reservation. She knew Charlie and Billy went there occasionally. It was supposedly by some of the best fishing spots. "Wasn't this Harry's?"

"Yeah," he answered as he stopped the truck.

They went inside and Jacob took her straight for the sofa that was covered with a quilt.

He said he wanted to get it over with before he lost his nerve so he started out with a question. "Bella, remember when you were getting to know Edward and you asked me some questions the day you visited La Push with your high school friends?"

She immediately felt uncomfortable. Why would he start their talk off with a question about Edward? "Um, yeah, I guess so."

"I told you some legends, does that refresh your memory?"

She shook her head, she didn't need to be reminded. She remembered every word that was said that night.

"Bella, you and I both know that those weren't really legends, agreed?"

He knew about the Cullen's, but how? She still played dumb.

"Jacob, of course they were. Remember, they were just stories...scary stories," she recounted his words from that night.

He shook his head. "You don't have to pretend any longer. I know what Edward is...I've known for a long time."

She started to shiver. Jacob grabbed an extra blanket off the chair and threw it over her legs. He went over to the fireplace and started a fire giving her a chance to let that revelation sink in.

"I know you've noticed, Seth and I keep certain things from you."

"Yes, I've said that many times."

"Well, I'm breaking a few rules and I will answer any questions you have."

"Okay, you're some sort of leader. What do you lead, Jacob?" that much she knew.

He took her hands in his. "Look at me, Bells."

"I am ."

"No, I mean really look. You know you can trust me. I'm not going to lie to you. Everything I'm saying is the truth, no matter if it seems impossible."

"Okay."

"I'm the alpha...the alpha of a pack." She inadvertently squeezed his hands. "A wolf pack, we're spirit wolves. A few members of the tribe have a gene enabling them to shift into a wolf at a certain age. We protect the tribe against the threat of cold ones. The Cullen's are cold ones, vampires. Now, do you know I'm telling the truth?"

She looked down at their hands and took deep breaths. Her arm was tingling and she was scared, not of Jacob; but because she knew he was telling her the truth. He let go of one of her hands and ran it through her hair. "You okay?"

She shook her head side to side at first, but then changed and moved it up and down. Her eyes started to burn and she felt tears quickly form there.

"Seth?" She whispered

"Yes, Seth too. Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry, Quil, Collin, Brady and Leah," he revealed

"Leah?" she was surprised.

"Yep, it was a shock when it happened, she's the only female ever as far as we know."

"So how does it happen? Do you have to have a full moon or you only come out at night?"

"Nope, Bells, we aren't the werewolves like you've read about. We're shape-shifters, and we control when we want to change. We call it phasing. The only time we struggle controlling it is in the beginning. New wolves are more unpredictable and volatile. Of course being angry signals the urge to shift and the threat of a leech triggers it in a heartbeat. We're designed to destroy them, they're our mortal enemies. We have speed and agility in order to hunt them down. As well as acute senses of smell and hearing. We can even sense certain emotions. I know you've noticed how hot we are. Our core temp is around 108 degrees. We communicate telepathically as wolves and we heal at a remarkable rate."

"I get that it has to be a secret, but who else knows?"

"Only our pack, the elders on the counsel including my Dad, of course. Also, the imprints are in on the secret."

"Imprint, what's an imprint?"

He dropped his head towards his lap and he told her the story of how certain wolves find an imprint. He told her what the legends stated about the imprints.

Everything he said caused her heart to sink deeper and deeper. That was what Nadia was, that is why he was tied to her. She was his perfect mate, his other half, his soul mate. Bella felt like she was nothing as he explained it.

"Bells, I know it sounds hopeless, but listen to me. You met all of them? There's nothing positive I can say about it. Something isn't right with this generation. We've been screwed over. I swear to you, I'm on a quest to rectify our situation. I've found someone who is helping me, because the counsel is a dead end."

"Why did you get involved with me Jacob? Are you that selfish, it wasn't enough to have a woman that was created just for you? Was I some sort of challenge you sought because you were bored? What was the point of any of this? I can't believe the way you kissed me earlier, when you can't possibly feel anything for me. I'm such an idiot. I let you use me."

"No, you have it all wrong. I'm not using you, but you're right, I'm selfish. I want you, Bells. Please don't turn me away. I don't want her, but it isn't possible to leave her yet. I'm trying, and I've made a little progress. It's slow going, and it isn't fair to ask you to wait, but I'm still going to. We have something, you know we do. It's strong... strong enough to interfere with this supernatural bond that is supposed to be unbreakable. That should mean something, don't you think?"

"You all are whatever they need, correct? They want a lover, so it ends up in a romantic relationship except for Quil. What is that even?"

"He's like a brother to her, for now. She's a handful, as you anyone can see. It pretty much has gone to all their heads, having someone that is utterly devoted to only them. The only one that is not too bad is Kim, but that union is still flawed. Jared is very smart, he was headed to college with a full scholarship. Of course, he lost it after he phased. He and Kim have absolutely nothing in common, but she at least tries to be a decent person. She just rubs most people the wrong way, but she had a difficult life. Her parents were very selfish, they left her after she got with Jared. He's all she has in life."

"So, four of you out of ten? You say it's rare, but that's 40%, could more wolves imprint?"

"Yes, Bells. It could still happen to him."

"I came back to Forks to start living my life again and I've managed to get wrapped up with not one, but two men that can never truly be mine?"

"I don't think it's as cut and dry as that."

"Well, there's only one thing to do as far as I'm concerned."

"And what's that?"

"I'm going back to Florida, Charlie's nearly 100% recovered. There's no reason for me to stay any longer," she declared.

"No, running away isn't going to solve anything. Didn't you learn from before?"

"I had to leave, I couldn't stay here," she pulled away from him.

"Bells, you didn't do very well by leaving. You've told me the stories. I wish you would have stayed. Maybe I could've helped you. Everything would have been different."

"How so? You still would've imprinted on Nadia and abandoned me just like..." she didn't say his name, but Jacob knew what she was thinking.

"Do you honestly think I would've been hanging out in bars picking up randoms if I had someone like you in my life? I would've been with you all the time?"

"So now it's my fault you ended up a player and met Nadia in a bar?"

"No, of course not. I'm not blaming you for my fucked up existence. I just wonder sometimes. Everyone has 'what ifs'. Bells, please, don't go. You still need help. Let me help you. We need to talk about how you almost hurt yourself, honey. You have no idea how scared I was when I realized you were out there bleeding. It's time we go to Charlie. He needs to know."

"No, Jacob. You keep asking me to trust you. You know that is a horrible thing to burden him with. I can't," she cried.

"I'm sorry Bells, but if you don't tell him, I will. I know I promised, but I'd rather disappoint you than find you past the point of no return and have to tell Charlie how I knew, but I promised to keep quiet. Why don't you take him with you to your therapist? She could probably help explain. You need to call her and tell her."

"I know, but please, not my dad," she pleaded again even though he wasn't accepting her answer.

She then admitted she wished he'd never found her.

"You don't mean that? Do you really want to die?"

"No, it'd be easier." She rubbed up and down her arm.

Jacob stopped her, "We have to do something about this," he turned her arm over and took a closer look.

"What do you mean?"

"As soon as I saw it, I knew what it was. Explain to me how you weren't changed." Bella told him all about James. He looked disgusted as soon as she started talking. He had a puzzled look hearing how Edward sucked the venom out. He started to touch the scar and area around it. She pulled back, not liking the feeling it produced.

"You really don't like to be touched there, do you?" was his observation.

"Not by you," she admitted.

He raised his eyebrows like he was trying to draw some sort of conclusion.

"What about here?" He brushed across her cheek and down her neck. Her body was a wicked traitor. He'd pretty much informed her there was no way he could be with her, but she still melted into his touch. He trailed his hand down her arm and then brought it to her waist. He leaned in and put his cheek against hers. His hand actually went up the bottom of her shirt to rub the skin above her waist and he placed one gentle kiss on her lips again. "That all feels good to you, doesn't it?"

She pulled back, but didn't answer, because it all felt extremely good. He knew it did, by the way she reacted.

"Something is not right about that scar. I want to take you to someone. Her name is Kelsee, but you can't tell anyone about it. She's not on good terms with the tribe, but I think she needs to examine you."

"Is she a doctor?"

"Not in the traditional sense," he shifted his gaze like he was hiding something.

Bella grimaced.

"Maybe, some people have it in their minds, she's some sort of a witch, but it's not true. People are just afraid of the unknown or things that can't explain."

"I don't know...I don't think I feel comfortable with that."

"Please think about it, Bells. Most of the time you seem very well adjusted, how are we to know what that bite did to you? You shouldn't even be alive after something like that. I've given you a lot to think about, but can we at least stay in touch? What about Seth?"

"I have no idea, it almost felt like we were breaking up last night, but I still have to face him. I want to go back home, Jake, but I don't want to cut all ties to you. I really don't."

He hugged her again and they both held on for a long time. He kissed her forehead, "Alright, let me get you back home."

"I have one more request," she stated.

"Anything, what is it?"

"Can I see you as a wolf?"

_**Thanks for reading. Always love hearing what you might be thinking...**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Thanks so much for all the great feedback!**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight is sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 11

Bella had never considered herself an animal lover. Perhaps, because she was never given the option of having one, but seeing Jacob's wolf was exhilarating. Her preconceived notion that he might resemble something off the National Geographic channel flew out the window as soon as he stepped in sight. He was freaking huge, not like any wolf she'd ever seen. More than that, he was beautiful; but somehow she could still see Jacob inside him. He looked straight at her, but she opted to stay on the porch. She wasn't afraid, just uncertain how she should behave. "Very impressive, Jake...thanks for showing me," she eventually said. She waved him off, and he went around the cabin. He soon came back looking exactly like himself, maybe a little meeker than she'd ever caught him looking.

"Well?"

"You were amazing."

"You could have touched me you know."

"Maybe, next time."

"So, there'll be a next time?" he sounded hopeful.

"For some reason, I think there will always be a next time with us Jake," that was the most honest statement she'd made to him, thus far.

She wanted to walk to the truck, but he put his arm around her so she could keep her weight off her leg. She led him towards the passenger side that time. They got started back towards Forks, she stayed pressed against the opposite door and stared out the window. He'd given her a lot to think about. She had to go home and face Charlie, call Dr. Thompson and talk to Seth.

"Hey," he called her away from her thoughts. "I have to go home, are you going to be fine?"

"I'm going to talk to Charlie, Jacob. I promise."

"That's good. I'm probably going to have some things to sort out when I go back, but if you need me; I'll find a way to come back over."

"Don't worry about it tonight. I'll be fine with my Dad. I'm probably going to ask Seth over too."

Jacob went around to get her. "I can walk again."

"Nope, these stairs are steeper, let me carry you up." They'd just reached the the porch when she heard an engine. Both their heads turned to make eye contact with the driver. It was Seth. He was there even though Bella told him not to come back until she called him.

He was out of the truck in flash, yelling, "What the fuck did you do, Jacob?" Jacob sat her down on the chair on the porch.

Seth had his hands on Jacob, before Bella could even register what was taking place. Jacob turned around to face him. "Calm down, Seth. Bella got hurt, I was helping her up the steps." Seth didn't back down, he shoved Jacob; who went backwards off the steps. He still managed to land on his feet.

"Seth, stop, he's telling the truth," she confirmed. He wasn't hearing her. He had one thing on his mind. He was obviously putting Jake in his place. Seth had been very patient about their friendship, but not any longer. He threw the first punch at Jake, but he dodged it. Instead of hitting him, Jacob took his legs out from under him. The two of them started scrambling around on Charlie's front lawn, so naturally Bella began to yell for them to stop.

Charlie came outside, alerted by her screams. "What the hell is going on out here?"

His commanding voice halted their scuffle. They both stood up, covered in dirt and grass; but neither looking like they had any real injuries.

Seth dusted himself off and approached Charlie. "I apologize, Charlie, but Jacob has been mistreating Bella and I've had enough."

"Who in the fuck do you think you are? Mistreating her? You can't be serious," Jake responded furiously, looking like he was going to jump on Seth again.

"Calm down, Jake. Both of you need to leave, so I can talk to my daughter. Don't think I won't call this in to the station and have you both picked up if this happens again." Charlie looked to Seth,"Son, you swore an oath to uphold the law in this town. How would it look for someone to see you having a brawl out on the Chief's front lawn?"

Jacob and Seth continued to stare back and forth at each other and even though they apologized to Charlie and Bella, she didn't think the fight was over. She tried her best to smooth it over. "Jacob, can you please leave? We'll talk later."

"Fine..." was all he said. He was not anything like the Jacob she'd just spent the night and a majority of the day with. He could turn at the drop of a hat. She didn't like that at all about him. He soon sped off on his motorcycle in a cloud of dust. She sat there on the porch with her Dad by her side.

Seth approached them, "What happened?"

"A lot, but Seth...I need to talk with my Dad in private, so can you come back in a few hours?" Charlie started towards the door away from them.

"Bella...you know, don't you?" he spoke in a low voice.

She nodded her head for conformation.

"Can I please give you my side?"

"Later, Seth and please don't go looking for Jake. I'll tell you everything, I swear," she urged.

Charlie stopped the door from shutting all the way. "You heard her, Seth. Give her some space and as your boss, I concur. Don't you dare go anywhere near Jacob the rest of the day."

Seth made his exit, not quite as dramatic as Jake, but he did not leave happy either.

Charlie helped her inside, and to his chair. "Sit there so you can prop your leg. Are you hungry?"

"A little."

"Well, figure out everything we need to talk about while I get us a couple of sandwiches made."

Charlie set a couple of plates down on the coffee table, he brought Bella a soda and handed her a plate of food. He took a couple of bites and washed it down with his own soda. "Why don't you start out by telling me what is going on between you and Jake? That out front was pure jealousy on both sides. Bells, I'm confused. I thought you'd be a good friend for Jacob, but it seems like I led you astray."

"No, not at all Dad. Jacob and I made our own complications. You're right though, he and I aren't only friends." She held her head down because she was embarrassed to admit that to him.

"How'd you hurt yourself Bells?"

"I did it," was the beginning of the whole truth.

"Okay, but how?"

"Dad, I hurt myself on purpose," he looked extremely troubled,"and it isn't the first time. I have to tell you something. Please don't be mad." She went back to the time she first arrived in Jacksonville. She recounted all the instances she'd cut herself, the times she'd been in the hospital. She told him about the blood transfusions and about the medicines she was currently taking and what each of them were for. She explained how the night before had been upsetting and how she'd wandered off. She told him Jacob found her in the woods and bandaged up her leg. The leg she cut up with a knife, she'd intended to hurt herself in worse ways, but the cold overcame her. He never looked mad, just sad. He wiped his face several times, and he left the other half of his sandwich untouched. She'd destroyed his appetite.

"Why, Bells? How could your mother hide something like this from me?"

"It was all my doing. I begged her not to. I was too ashamed. I didn't want you know how weak and pathetic I was. Dad, I know I haven't always been the best daughter, but you're so important to me. I want you to be proud of me."

"I'm always proud of you, Bella. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear. I screwed up by letting you stay away so much growing up. I thought since you were a girl, you needed your mother more than me. I read some stuff once, that a girl's choices in men are often a result of her relationship to her father."

"Dad, stop. There's no way you're to blame for my questionable choices."

"This is all because of the little bastard, Edwin, isn't it?" Charlie always fumbled the name on purpose.

"Dad, you know is name is Edward...yes, it all started with me not being able to handle his departure."

"What do I need to do to help?" Charlie had walked over to her chair and knelt down and took her hands. Maybe they had both made mistakes along the way, but she could never doubt how much he loved her. He might have been a man of few words, but his eyes spoke volumes. They'd come a long way in a few months.

"I'm going to ask my therapist for a special session, Monday. Will you go with me? Do you think you can get off work?"

"Yes, of course, I'm the boss. I'll be there. Now, about those two idiots that I caught rolling around my yard...Bella, you don't need that kind of stress."

"I know. I'm going to deal with them."

"How?" Good question since it was all she asked herself as well.

"Well, I've already settled a few things with Jacob, but do you mind if Seth and I have some privacy in a bit?"

"No, that's fine. If they both care about you, I think they should understand you need space."

She smiled hoping to reassure her father, but she was a little apprehensive. It wasn't as simple as telling them to back off, she also had a problem. She still felt like she needed both of them and it wasn't fair to any of them. She was at a crossroads and she still had one foot headed in the other direction. Running away was still in the back of her mind.

She managed up the stairs slowly and got some fresh clothes so she could take a shower. It was a first time she got a good look at her leg. There were at least 10 visible cuts of different sizes and varying degrees of redness. The one right in the middle of her thigh was the deep one. She took a hot shower and cleaned them up. She dried them and put antibiotic ointment on them before covering them again. Her feet weren't that bad, but she dug a couple of thorns and stickers out of them. She left a message for Dr. Thompson briefly stating she had a small emergency and her father was aware of her history. She asked for an appointment anytime Monday. She'd take a personal day if she needed to.

She assumed Seth would be over soon, but she texted him just in case and let him know he could stop by anytime he was ready. With her phone in her hand, she thought, that she might as well contact Jake. She texted him once to say that Charlie and her were good and that Seth was on his way.

He surprised her by calling, "Hey, you okay after talking to Charlie?"

"As good as I can be. We're going to Dr. Thompson, Monday."

"That's good," she could tell he was still troubled.

"What about you? I'm sure Nadia was upset."

"Upset is not the word for it. She trashed the place. I've been cleaning every since I came in. I've got a variety of messages from my Dad, Old Quil, and Emily. I don't want to go into it any further, because it's all my problem not yours. I know you need time with Seth, but I may come over after you've had some time to talk."

"Why, Jake? I don't know that's the best idea."

"Because, all three of us need to get some stuff straight."

"If Charlie catches you fighting again, he's going to put you two in jail. He's not joking."

"I won't fight him, I swear it."

"Well, I should go. I guess I'll see you after awhile if you decide to come."

"Bye Bella."

"Goodbye," she ended the call.

Seth came over soon after she hung up with Jacob, and Charlie sent him up to her room so they could talk.

"Hey, come on in," Bella told him when she saw him peaking in the crack of her door.

She hated that things seemed awkward between them. All the progress they had made seemed to have disappeared after one bad night.

"Bella, seriously are you okay now that you know what I am?" was his first question. She motioned for him to join her on her bed. He slid in beside her and the two of them sat there propped against the headboard. Maybe it was wrong to be there with him like that only a few hours after she'd spent the night practically naked with Jake, but she snuggled under his arm despite her memories.

"Of course Seth. I use to date Edward, remember? My mind obviously isn't wired like normal people. I'm good with weird, not that you're weird...but you know what I mean. Seth, you're still you, but."

"But what?"

"I...I know all about imprinting now, Seth."

He took a deep breath and exhaled a growl. "It's not an issue for us. Don't even begin to think that could happen to me. It won't."

"Didn't Jake use to say that?"

"Well, I'm not Jake obviously. I only wanted to tell you the truth because of how close we were getting. I didn't want to lie to you any longer. I didn't want to scare you away. Don't worry about imprinting. It's rare."

"Seth, I need to tell you the whole story. I'm sure you want to know what happened. Jake didn't hurt me, I hurt myself. I've done it before. Seth, that's why I'm in therapy." She gave him a few of the details, so he'd have a clear understanding of her condition.

"Bella," he pulled her in so her head rested on his chest. "I knew something was going on, but I didn't think it was that bad. I should have never left you last night. Damn Jake. He sent me away and you needed me."

"He found me and took care of me, Seth."

"Bella, don't you see what he's doing? I'm so fucking done with him, he better not think about coming around me anytime soon."

"He's coming over," she blurted out.

"What? Why?" he was getting pissed again. She really wasn't use to Seth being like that.

"He says the three of us need to talk, but Seth he swore he wasn't coming to fight. Promise me, you will do the same."

"Again, I'm sorry what happened earlier. You know that's not me."

"It's part of being a wolf?" she was asking.

"Yes and no. We're all capable of it, but it was me, the man; I can't blame it on the wolf. I'm just sick of his shit. I usually have a handle on my temper. It's important since I chose law enforcement. I won't disappoint Charlie again." She hadn't been able to spit it out, that she thought they should break up or maybe they already were. She truly didn't know, she was still inept in that department.

"I think we should go downstairs. Can you help me out?"

Seth picked her up without hesitation, and went downstairs. Charlie looked away from the TV and watched them the whole way down.

"Dad, Jake's coming over and he, Seth and I are going to sort out some issues."

"I'm not liking the sound of that," he said as he rubbed over his mustache.

"Charlie, I'll behave, trust me," Seth promised.

"Okay, Seth...I guess, I'll head upstairs, but if I hear one raised voice I'm kicking you both out."

As soon as Charlie was out of the picture, Seth tested the waters to see where he and Bella stood. He took her face and got her to face him. He was asking her with his eyes. She wasn't sure of her answer.

"Seth, I think we need some time apart. I'm not saying permanently, but I'm confused. I still care about you."

"So we're breaking up? That's it?" She was wrong before, he didn't think they were broken up after the night before.

"No, I'm asking for space to figure myself out."

He looked extremely put out all of the sudden. She thought he wasn't accepting her response, "He's out there." He stood up and went to the door.

Seth stepped aside and Jacob came inside.

He sat in the chair, Seth returned to Bella on the sofa.

"What did you want to talk about Jake?" Seth asked him.

He looked at Bella, and she knew what he wanted to know. "It's fine, Jake. I told him about the cutting."

"I think Bella should see Kelsee. Something is wrong with the scar, Seth. Have you taken a good look at it?"

Bella exposed her arm to him. She cringed when he touched it. It was the same response Jacob produced in her.

"Does it hurt?"

"I can't explain it, but I don't like you or Jacob touching it."

"You said Kelsee. Isn't she dead?" Seth didn't look very impressed by the mention of this lady.

"No!"

"Well, I don't know why you'd want to risk Bella seeing that woman. I've heard the stories, she's a pauwau."

"What's that?" Bella wasn't going to attempt to pronounce it.

"She's a witch, Bella," Seth looked very serious, but she kind of laughed.

"Seth, do you really believe in witches?"

"I don't know, Bella. Do you really believe in vampires and men that turn into wolves?" She sank back into the couch. Ouch, his words stung and made her feel stupid. "She's been exiled. She isn't even Quileute, she's from a different tribe. Old Quil exposed her decades ago. Jake, how'd you get mixed up with her and what could she possibly do for Bella?"

"She and I have been doing research together. I trust her. Old Quil made up all that shit up to protect his ass. She was his mistress, that's the real truth."

"Well, are you going to deny she wasn't snooping around in our archives? She was up to something. Bella has no business being around her. I can't believe you'd put her life at risk."

"My life?" Bella asked. Seth was being very dramatic.

"Yes, Bella. Jacob didn't tell you about the guy she killed."

"Oh my god, she killed someone, Jake!" She shrieked and then lowered her voice, remembering Charlie could be eavesdropping. She hoped not since they were discussing the supernatural. "She's a murderer?" she whispered.

"Seth, you need to quit listening to Quil, he only repeats what his grandfather says. He embellishes too. Bells, the guy was old. It was natural causes, nothing was ever proven or she would have been arrested." Jacob spoke directly to her, "I've already told her about you. She's working on the treatment," Jacob added.

"What exactly do you think is wrong?" Bella knew the bite mark never felt right, especially in the beginning, but she was use to it.

"I think you are poisoned, with venom. It's trapped in that scar and it's influencing your mind and body."

What Jacob was saying was crazy, but Bella knew what Seth had pointed out was also true. She knew the impossible existed so maybe she should consider what he was telling her. What if she was poisoned? She could never get a legitimate doctor to treat her. This lady, Kelsee might be her only option. Jacob trusted her and Seth definitely did not, but she trusted both men.

"I'll think about it Jake." Jacob had a very pleased look that he had gotten her to consider it. Seth looked back and forth between them.

Seth started shaking his head. "I can't believe how stupid I've been." He was studying Jacob. "All this time, I thought you resented me because I was free to choose. That's not it at all, you wanted her. I don't know why? You're imprinted! That's what all this concern with Bella really is? It's why you and I are fighting so much."

"Seth, we never set out to hurt you. I know it doesn't make sense..."

He cut Jacob off, "We?" he looked at Bella. "You too? Seriously, Bella; you've been cheating on me with him?"

"No, Seth. I...I only wanted to be friends, but I," she shouldn't lie. He was asking point blank. How could she answer, because she didn't even know herself what was going on. She feel anxiety rise up inside her.

"Seth, you need to back off. Bella is getting upset. She can't handle this right now." Jake was quick to notice when she would get overwhelmed.

"I need to back off...you arrogant prick. You need to leave and stay away from Bella. Go home to Nadia," He paused and then added, "The only place you were meant to be."

Jacob looked to her, waiting for a response. "I think both of you should go. Jacob, please leave."

He stood up, and told Seth, "Come on."

"No, I need Seth to hear me out, first."

Jacob did what she asked, he didn't look happy about it, but when he left she felt like she could breathe again.

"Seth, I mean it when I say that I care about you. I also admit that I care about Jacob more than I should. I know that is only going to end up hurting me. Let me sort out my feelings and then maybe we could start over. I don't want to lose you , but I'm not going to string you along."

He didn't give her another chance to talk. He kissed her, and she was reminded that she really did have strong feelings for him. "Sorry, I didn't do that to upset you, but I want you to know how important you are to me. We have started something special. I don't want it to end, so if you only need a friend right now; I'll be that for you, but please stay away from Jacob. I know I sound like a damned broken record, but look what almost happened to you."

She shook her head, "I'm going to distance myself. Okay, I get it. I understand what Nadia is, but I still feel for him. He doesn't deserve what has happened to him. I can't just turn off my concern." She couldn't give him any more answers, but she hugged him at the door. If she didn't have those confusing feelings for Jacob, it would be so easy to fall all the way for Seth. That's what he deserved, a woman that was totally devoted him. What if that woman was an imprint? She hated that word and she'd only known about it a few hours.

Bella got ready for bed and listened to her message from Dr. Thompson. "Bella, come in at 2 o'clock. I've made time for you and your father. Call before if you need me."

Bella also had another message from an unknown number. She listened, "Swan...you know who this is? We're still on for Tuesday night. I know something is up between you and my brother, you need my advice more than ever. No backing out. Later." Leah, couldn't be serious. Should she call her back and decline? Bella was hoping her leg would heal quickly, the last thing she needed was a broken arm. If Leah knew everything, that was happening some day; she was almost certain.

**_Up next: a night out with Leah! _****_Thanks so much for reading._**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Sorry, it's been a busy week; but I finally got this update finished. Love to hear from you, so hit the review button or send me a PM to let me know what you think. Be sure and check out the new banner for this fic as well. All credits for the banner go to don'tcallmeleelee, she's amazing!**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 12

Bella's leg was bouncing up and down with nervous anticipation. Charlie muted the TV and turned to her. "Bells, are you still upset about yesterday?"

They had visited Dr. Thompson together the day before. It had not been as terrible as she had expected. Charlie listened carefully and asked a lot of questions. He was totally committed to taking care of his daughter. He'd do anything to assure her safety. Dr. Thompson could not say enough good things about him after he left them to continue with a short private session. That time was actually more stressful than the half hour with Charlie. She had to come clean on her behavior with Jake and why she felt the need to break up with Seth. Dr. Thompson told her she had no intention of telling her what to do, it was only her job to offer advice. It seemed to her that Bella was not taking much of that lately.

"Um no, Dad. You were great yesterday. Thanks for taking me out to dinner. We should do that more often."

"Then why the hell are you so jumpy? You aren't expecting one of those boys, are you?"

Funny how Charlie still referred to Seth and Jacob as boys still. "No, actually I'm suppose to go out soon."

"With who?"

"Leah Clearwater," and she watched various expressions cross his face with that reveal.

"Oh, well...that's kind of surprising, but good. What do you two have planned?"

"Um..." She knew she was an adult, but she still had a little difficulty admitting it. "Leah wants to go hang out at a club or bar, I think. I don't know exactly, she invited me."

"A bar, well be careful Bella. At least I know Leah's tough and she will take care of you, but did you tell her you don't drink?"

"Yep, I told her."

"Oh, okay...is that why you're nervous, because you think she'll pressure you to drink?" It was like they were having the peer pressure talk they had skipped over years ago.

"No, Dad...in case, you haven't noticed, she's a little intimidating." There was a loud knock at the door. Bella stood up and grabbed her bag. "Here goes nothing, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."

Bella opened the door and Leah waved to Charlie, "You girls be safe and have fun."

"That's what you're wearing?"

Bella looked down at herself. "Yeah, what's wrong with it?"

Leah shook her head, "Nothing, I guess."

They soon took off in Leah's car. Bella thought Leah drove like a maniac. It reminded her of times she'd ridden with Alice or Edward. She was going to be nauseous even before they got to the bar and she wasn't even planning on drinking.

"You look tense Swan. I swear this is going to be fun. Trust me, you need this. When was the last time you did a girls' night out?"

"Um, I think it was...never," she admitted.

Leah laughed, "Wow, you're kind of pathetic, aren't you?"

"Pretty much," she agreed.

"So you dumped Seth? That's the story I was able to wrangle from him, or more like Mom. He didn't want to talk about it."

"No, I need some time to sort out some stuff."

"You mean Jake?" Five minutes in and she was already bringing up his name.

Bella wasn't sure how much Leah knew, and she wasn't about to volunteer anything that would get her into trouble. "Not exactly."

"I don't get it. You know everything now, right? Jacob is off limits, my brother really likes you."

"Leah, I never meant to hurt Seth, please believe me. I really care about him and as far as Jacob goes, that's complicated. We confused our friendship."

"Okay, okay...you can relax. I'm not taking you off to a dark alley to break your arm. I actually agree with how you're handling this."

"You do?" that was not what she was expecting from Leah, at all.

"Yes, if you had stayed with Seth and ran around with Jacob or worse, cheated on my brother; then we'd have a problem. But I'm warning you, if you go back with Seth, make sure it's for the right reasons and that he's your only focus."

Bella relaxed a little after hearing that Leah seemed to be very reasonable. She might enjoy herself after all. It didn't seem like she was in any danger from her new, unexpected friend. She totally agreed with Leah, if she got back with Seth, she was going to do it the right way. With the continuous high level of speed they were in Port Angeles in no time. It was much quicker than Bella had ever made it.

She couldn't help but ask, "We aren't going to one of the places Jake and Seth use to hang out at, are we?"

"You mean like the bar Jake met Nadia in?" Leah caught on quick.

She shrugged her shoulders, because she really didn't want to.

"So the boys came clean about those days?"

"Well, Jake did. Seth and I haven't discussed it."

"He's embarrassed. He still wants you to think he's all sweet and innocent, but phasing along with those guys at such a young age wasn't easy on him. He grew up way too fast and they succeeded in corrupting him. He's no Lahote, but he acted up for awhile. I have a place in mind and I know they never went there. The bartender and I are cool, so we might even get you a free drink or two."

"Oh, I'll stick with virgin drinks, if you don't mind?"

"Actually, I do, you seriously need a drink, Bella."

"Well, I take medicine..."

"And did you take any tonight?"

"No, not yet. I take mine before bed."

"Skip it, you won't die if you miss, right?"

Bella wasn't sure how to answer that. No, of course, she could miss a night. She really should try and loosen up a little. Leah was going all out to make her feel comfortable. "I'll think about it."

They got out at a small little place at the corner of a strip center. It was nothing fancy for sure. Leah said she liked it, usually a calm, decent crowd. It was a good first time in her words for Bella. She wondered how often did Leah think she might do this girls' night out thing? "First rule: no cellphones, leave it in the car." Bella placed hers in the console without hesitation, no sense in messing with Leah's apparent good mood.

They went inside the small bar, called The Dive, appropriately. It was not crowded in the least. Bella surveyed the room. It was dimly lit, somewhat an eclectic mix of country and biker ambiance. A jukebox sat off to the side and was surprisingly playing a contemporary R&amp;B song. There was a pool table in the back of the room and several dart boards along one wall. She quickly noticed she and Leah were the only other women besides one waitress and an older woman that was sitting with a younger man at the bar. She looked like she'd spent the better part of her life sitting on a barstool. Why did Leah bring them here? Bella felt like they stuck out like a sore thumb. She had spent a great deal of her life trying to blend and not be noticed, but now she felt the eyes of the room on her. If she'd been the touching sort, she might have held onto Leah's arm, but that would have made it worse; so she followed closely as they approached the bar. The older barfly looked their way, possibly sizing up the competition. Bella wondered if it would be polite to assure her, she was not a threat. Of course, she held her tongue. In fact, she had to tell her mouth to quit biting it, literally.

"Hey, Mason, slow night?"

The bartender rolled his eyes, "Surprised, Lee? It's the usual, but who's your pretty friend?"

"Bella, this is Mason, my favorite mixologist. He doesn't waste my time trying to make small talk, my kind of guy."

"Ah, thanks, Lee. I love you too." he leaned in closer to Bella and whispered. She almost couldn't hear him because of the music, which had changed to 90's alternative, "She and I are secretly engaged, but don't tell anyone," he covered his lips with his finger.

"Shut up, asshole, and give me my usual. Do you have something light and fruity for my friend? She's a newbie."

"You're in luck. Candace made a sangria for ladies' night."

Bella looked around the room one more time, "It's ladies' night?"

"Yeah, the best we've had in months, now that you're here. One Moscow mule and one triple berry sangria coming up."

"Leah, I still don't know if I should drink."

"Swan, it's practically juice, you'll be fine."

Bella wondered what else Leah wanted to talk about. She had mentioned self defense at the bonfire. "So, Leah, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Say what's on your mind without caring what anyone else thinks?"

She shrugged. "I've always been that way. My mom use to put her hand over my mouth a lot when I was growing up. After Sam, I got a bad rep, but I was just being me. I wasn't shy about giving my opinions of my circumstance. Why do you let people walk all over you?"

"I don't mean to...I just don't like conflict."

"Well, you got a funny way of showing it. You seem to surround yourself by conflict. What the hell? You fucking dated a vamp."

Bella twisted in her seat again. No one was paying attention to them any longer. "I...I didn't think about it at the time. I was totally captivated by him."

"It's a good thing he dumped you in the woods. I have a feeling you would have given your whole life up for him."

As harsh as that sounded, Leah was probably right. Bella wondered how she was that perceptive since they barely knew each other. Mason sat the drinks in front of them and Bella thought her drink was pretty. She leaned in and smelled it, it did smell like juice, but she could still smell the hint of wine in the glass. Her mom often had a glass at dinner, so she was accustomed to the smell.

"Drink up," Leah instructed.

Bella tentatively brought the wine glass to her lips and took the slightest sip. It was surprisingly good. It didn't burn or taste bitter at all. She thought she could handle this drink. She would take it slow and hopefully Leah wouldn't order her anything else.

"Well?" the bartender was waiting to hear how she liked the drink. Bella assumed she was the only one in the whole bar that would be sampling the sangria.

"I like it, thanks," she told Mason.

He had a nice, big smile on his lips, "First one's, on the house, Cappuccetta."

She smiled back, "Thanks."

"Alright, so we've talked a little about Seth. I think you two are still a good match. The poor kid has never let himself think seriously about a woman before. I've never seen him like this, so don't take too long in sorting out your feelings."

"I won't." Hopefully, she thought but didn't vocalize that.

"Maybe you should date someone else."

"What?" she choked on her drink. "Are you nuts? The last thing I need is to add another man in the mix."

"I'm just saying, all you've experience are guys that are less than normal. Maybe that's what you need is to see a what a everyday guy is like. I can tell you from experience, most are," she took her thumb and pointed it to the floor.

"Are you dating?"

"Me? Dating? Hell no, I'm a satisfied single," she proudly stated.

"Oh," Bella didn't know what that meant, and it must have shown.

"It means, if I need it, I get it, Swan...no strings attached."

She took another long sip of the sangria. It seemed to be getting tastier the more she drank.

"Anyone I know?" she tentatively asked hiding behind her sangria.

"No, don't even think about it. All those idiots are like my brothers, so not even if it was me and them left alone in the world."

"Oh, well, I just thought about Paul, for some reason."

"Definitely not Paul, he's very attached to that appendage, so he wouldn't dare bring it anywhere near me. He may not seem very smart, but he knows better."

"If you don't mind me asking, how do you manage being around Sam?"

"Yes, I mind you asking. I don't want to talk about Sam...ever."

"Oh, I'm sorry. What about Emily? She is your family, will you ever reconcile?"

"Next topic..." she was getting irritated.

Bella let out a sigh of frustration. Leah wasn't giving up any info, but she wanted to continue grilling Bella.

"Let's talk about you instead. I'm fine, you, on the other hand, have problems. Jake...what is with you two?"

Somehow, she'd reached the bottom of the glass. It had a lot of ice, that's why she finished it so fast. Leah held up two fingers to Mason. "Jake, is easy for me to talk to for some reason, and I guess he feels the same way about me. Why are you all so hard on him?"

She wasn't sure, because she obviously wasn't as good as Leah was at reading people, but she looked sad. "Jake held us together. We all looked up to him, we counted on him more than we should, because phasing isn't easy on the mind, body or spirit. He kept us grounded. When she happened, everything changed. Of course, he still managed the pack. We were still performing our duties, but we felt like we no longer had a friend. He was only alpha and he use to be both.

"I hate her." Bella let those words slip easily off her tongue.

"I'll drink to that," and they both took a drink from the glasses Mason had silently left in front of them.

"I thought he was better these past few months, truth be told."

"Oh," she wasn't sure if it was proper to take the credit for that, so that's all she said.

"I don't know what you do or say to him, but it worked until whatever happened at the bonfire. Part of me wants to teach you to be tougher, Bella; but I feel like you'd be safer staying clear of Nadia. I don't trust that bitch, I swear she's dangerous. I wouldn't put it past her resorting to physical violence. She'd probably cut you if faced her alone."

Bella, turned the glass up high, until the ice hit her top lip.

"What? You have a phobia of knives or something?"

Bella's head spun around for a second. This was definitely her last drink. She'd ask Mason for a water next time he stopped by to check on them.

"Hey, Swan, I was only joking...well, maybe not, but in case you didn't know. You're protected. Nadia won't ever stab you."

"What do you mean, I'm protected?"

Leah looked off to the side, "Oh, why the hell not? He didn't order us not to tell. Every since you've been back, Jacob has one of us checking on you. He said you attracted danger in the past, so it's a precaution. To tell you the truth, we've never been responsible for one single person, it's more or less expected we protect our tribe, and the surrounding areas."

"Danger?"

"He means vamps? They like you, I don't know...your blood, maybe."

"Oh, well, he knows about my encounters," Bella nervously pulled at her sleeve. Her scar felt itchy and ached beneath the fabric.

"Whatcha got going on there?"

"Um...I" Bella stammered, "I guess Seth didn't mention it."

"Truth be told, Seth didn't tell me shit. I picked up the rest from the pack."

"Well, what did he think about us going out tonight?"

Leah, cracked up for the first time. "He doesn't know. He told me to drop it, but I knew we needed to get to know each other better. Hence, the all phones stay in the car rule."

"Oh, well, do you think he'll be mad at us?"

"Who cares? We're two single ladies, right? We don't need any man's permission. Besides, Charlie knows where we are tonight, so that's all that matters."

Bella thought for certain that Seth was going to find out and not be happy at all, but Leah was right, they were unattached for the evening. Bella's second sangria was only melting ice chips.

"Let's try you with something a little more substantial. You feel fine, right?"

"Yes," she was shocked, she actually felt great. "I'm just a little warmer, but that's a nice side effect."

"Exactly," she motioned for the bartender again, who left them alone to their conversation. "Hey Mase, two margarita bombs; she's loosened up enough."

"Lee-ah, you sure about that?"

"Yes, make the drinks and mind your own business."

"It's not going to be too strong, is it?"

"Nah, just a little margarita Bella with a beer chaser, no biggie. You'll like it. So what's the deal with the arm?"

Bella pulled up her sleeve to expose it to her.

"Holy shit, is that what I think it is?" She reached out to touch and Bella instantly recoiled. It was the same irritating feeling Jacob and Seth produced. "Okay, start talking, what is the story behind that wicked scar?"

Bella had been sipping on the margarita in the mean time. She really like the flavor, so she took an extra long slurp before spilling her secret yet again. She told her all of it, even Jacob's suspicions and Seth's concerns about this Kelsee lady. Leah stared at her with her mouth hung open for a few seconds. "Damn, I usually don't agree with Jacob's methods, but you gotta do it, Swan."

"What? Why do you think so?"

She grabbed her arm again, "Ugh, don't please," she pulled back annoyed and covered her scar back up with her sleeve.

"It's the wolf, that's why it bothers you. The venom repels us. It's the reaction you're having and even though I doubt Kelsee is playing with a full deck, who else, Bella? Do you really want to take the chance with your life? No one else is going to believe you or have a clue with how to treat this. At least, go see her, I'll go with you if you're scared."

"You really would?"

"Sure,why not?"

Bella was feeling way more relaxed with Leah. She felt like she could tell her almost anything. "Um Leah, do you think Kelsee can help Jacob break his imprint? I get the distinct impression that's why he's involved with her."

"I doubt it, but if it gives him something to do and it keeps him away from Nadia; it isn't so bad that he's trying."

"But one day, won't he be very disappointed?"

"Probably, but he seems to have something, he hasn't had in at least a year."

"What's that?"

"Hope..."

And that's when it started, Bella started laughing. She knew Leah was being super serious, but she really needed to laugh and it wouldn't stop.

"I guess that's my cue to lighten the mood, huh? You like the margarita bomb, don't ya?"

"Oh yeah, a lot. Should we have another, mine's almost out. But you have to drive, so maybe not."

"Don't worry about me, I burn off the alcohol almost as fast as I drink it. I need about 15 after my last sip to make sure I've got a clear head, so no worries. You working tomorrow?"

"8 am," Bella held up only three fingers for some reason. Oh yeah, she forgot about her other hand.

"So sure, one more shouldn't hurt too much," and she motioned to Mason again.

He nodded his head.

"Leah, does anybody dance in here?"

"Um...not usually. Why? Do you dance?"

Leah was so funny. God, Bella could not get over how funny she was and how much she wanted to laugh around her. "No, I can't dance, but comere, I've got I secret," Bella wiggled her finger quickly in Leah's face so she would come in closer. "I wish I could dance." Mason soon placed another round of drinks on the bar, he frowned at Leah, but she merely waved him off.

Leah looked around and shook her head, "Nah, now is not the time to learn, but have you ever played darts?"

"Nope, it looks fun and my butt hurts sitting here." She slid off her seat almost missing the floor. It seemed to have disappeared for a second.

She giggled again.

Leah held her arm, "You okay? Maybe you're too much of a lightweight and shouldn't have that last one."

"No, honestly, I feel fine just really warm, which is good. I'm way too cold all the time." She spun herself in a circle a few times with her arms stretched out. She stopped as soon as she felt dizzy. That time Leah joined her in a new round of giggles.

Leah told her to keep her drink in plain sight at all times, there was a small table right next to the dart board so they sat them there. Bella observed as Leah started a round. The boards were electronic, so they automatically kept the score. Bella was jealous, shed never beat Leah. Her aim was deadly accurate. She sipped on her drink which still was so refreshing. She liked to lick the salt of the sides and take a big gulp, then Leah told her to try and bite on her lime wedge afterwards to finish it off. She said next time she'd be ready for shots but not tonight.

"Okay, Swan, you're up."

Bella wiggled out of her seat again. Leah showed her where to stand. She took the dart in her hands and threw it. She totally missed by a mile. She sucked. She grabbed another and just before tossing it, turned around to get a pointer from her friend. Some big guy had came out of nowhere and Bella almost stabbed him in his beer belly. He looked pretty dingy, like he didn't bathe everyday. He actually wasn't too old, but Bella thought his lifestyle claimed his looks long ago.

"Watch it lil girl, before you hurt someone," he said as he spun her back around. He smelled of cheap beer and cigarettes. For some reason he hadn't let go of her, she wasn't quite sure where, but he was touching her. "Here, let me help you out a bit." Bella wanted to open her mouth and tell him no thanks but her tongue felt enlarged and she felt like she couldn't form the words.

Leah spoke up loud and clear, she never had problems enunciating her words. "Hands off, dickwad, unless you want to lose them."

The guy held his hands up like he was going to surrender to Leah, but when he stepped in closer his attitude changed. "Whose going to make me? You? What are you even, you don't look like much to me...just a Indian bitch with a big mouth." She grabbed him and shoved him into the wall before Bella could even register what was happening.

"More bitch than you think..." Bella couldn't see what she was doing exactly but drunk, sweaty guy turned white as a sheet and jerked away from her. He stumbled across the room, said something to his buddies and the three of them got the hell out of there before she could even get back to her seat.

She really had to sit back down, no more darts for her. The room was spinning counterclockwise at the moment and she needed a drink to cool off. "How'd you do that? You scared the shit out of that guy. He was all threatening at first and then he ran off like frightened child."

"Look closely," Bella bent her head down and stared at Leah's eyes, which transformed in front of her face. They became incredibly dark almost like the entire pupil had enlarged. Colored yellow streaks ran throughout, they weren't human and then a second later, they were.

"Leah? Should you do that? What if he tells someone?"

"Please, that guy won't even know he was here tonight when he wakes up in the morning. And you, I'm supposed to be training you to stand up for yourself. Why'd you let him grab all over your ass?"

She shook her head, "My ass? No, he didn't do that. I would've known."

"Trust me, he did and I think that means we should leave, it's almost 11."

Bella figured she was right, she had to be up early. When they got ready to leave, Bella felt it again, the room was spinning. She didn't feel so good.

She looked at Leah, "Shit...I know that look, hurry...run. I'm right behind you."

Bella ran as fast as she could to the bathroom, she barely made it in front of a toilet before the contents of her stomach started to emerge. Leah held her hair and she stood there a good five minutes like it was never going to stop. The rest of the time in there was a blur, but Leah was taking care of her. Before Bella knew what was going on they were back in Leah's car and on the road back to Forks. "Tell me if you need to hurl, understand?"

Bella shook her head and let it fall back to the seat. About ten minutes later, she yelled, "Stop!" It happened again, but she spared the car.

Leah wiped her face off with some tissue and looked at her phone while they were pulled over. "Let me see your phone, Bella." she pointed to it, "Shit...just close your eyes and I'll carry you in when we get there. It seems I've angered a couple of people, so expect company when we get to Charlie's. It's none of their business, so you don't have to say anything to them. Okay?" She shook her head, but didn't answer.

Bella had no idea what she was talking about, she only wanted to close her eyes and rest. She was hoping they landed soon, because she was tired of feeling like she was flying. It was really doing a number on her stomach and then everything faded to black.

Bella felt something cool against her cheek. She barely opened her eyes as Leah slowed down. She figured out what was on her face, she was pressed against the window and she sort of made out some shadows sitting on Charlie's porch. She was too exhausted, she closed her eyes again and stayed in the same position.

"What in the blue fuck, Leah? She's wasted!" Bella recognized that booming voice as it approached the car.

She felt like she was slowing coming back to life after hearing Jake shout at Leah. What was he even do there? Hadn't she told him to stay away for now?

"Leah, what did I tell you?" Seth's voice was the next sound she heard.

Seth too! Those two never listened to a damn thing she said. Her eyes finally could focus and she looked at each one of them separately. Aww, they were so cute and she had missed them even if it had only been three days. She felt her skin heat up again, like before when she drank at The Dive. Why couldn't she just have both of them? People did that, didn't they? There was a word for it, but her mind was so scattered, she couldn't remember what it was called. She suddenly felt empowered, so she opened up the door all the way and pushed herself out of the car. Leah's hand reached out to steady her, "Whoa there, chica."

"I'm fine...I'm fine," she bounced her flattened palms out to her sides to show she was steady enough to walk. Jake came up on her right and Seth on her left. Just what she'd been thinking about, she reached for both of them. She simultaneously pulled both of them closer. For the first time, it felt like both of them were embracing her at the same time. She was overwhelmed, it was a whole lot of man at once, but she opened her mouth to reassure them, "I missed you both, but why are you yelling at my friend? We had fun tonight, didn't we Lee?"

Jacob started barking out orders, "Seth...you deal with your sister, Charlie, I'm taking Bella and putting her to bed. Sorry, we kept you up, she'll be fine after she sleeps it off."

Oh, Dad was out here too, she wasn't sure she had spotted him before, "Thanks Jake, you," a finger pointed in her face, "young lady, have work in the morning. I expect you to be up when I am, good night."

"Come on, Bells," her feet were swept out from under her and she was pressed against a familiar chest that she instantly burrowed into. He wasn't very easy with her, he bounced her up and down climbing the stairs and plopped her in front of the sink in the bathroom. She glanced up in the mirror, but ducked her head back down after what she saw...scary. "Here," he shoved a toothbrush in her hand, "brush, you smell like vomit."

Jacob turned on the water and wet a washrag. He cleaned her face after she brushed. "Do you need to pee?"

She had enough of her wits to refuse help with that task, "Go, Jake. I can do it myself." She managed to go and wash her hands, but she discarded her jeans on the bathroom floor before heading back in her room. He was in there, she thought he knew she meant leave altogether, but he stayed.

Jacob's eyes did a double take as they noticed her missing attire. "Why are you in my room?" She squealed.

"I wanted to make sure you got in bed okay." She frowned wondering how many girls he might of said that to. "What? I'm serious, I didn't want you falling face down on the floor. Come on, I'll get you some pajamas. Which drawer?"

She pointed to the top middle one. Her feet didn't feel like holding her up any longer so she flopped down on the bed and fell to her back. She didn't even care that her shirt wasn't covering her panties.

"I see you kept it...you want my t-shirt?"

"Fine, but turn off the lights. It's burning my eyes." He threw the shirt at her, turned off the overhead light, and shut the door. Her eyes were still squeezed shut, but she heard the click of the door. She pushed up on her elbows and pulled her shirt over her head. Her modesty had disappeared somewhere between the bar and her bedroom door. She just wanted to close her eyes and sleep, maybe then her head would finally stop hurting.

"Jeezus, woman...what are you doing?"

"I'm changing, I told you to go already, so I'm pretending you're not here. What's the big deal, you've already seen, right?"

"Bells, that was an emergency. Stop right now, don't do it." Her hands were reaching around her back to undo her bra. Too late, the clasp popped open. Suddenly, his shirt was being pulled over her head and down her torso before the bra fell at her waist.

"Jake, are you mad at me?"

"No, not exactly...I just don't like to think about you out in a bar, drunk. I'm not quite sure why you did it?"

"Are you mad a Leah?"

"Hell yes, she knows better."

"She took care of me, Jake. There was this creepy guy that grabbed my ass why we were playing darts, even though I didn't know it and Leah showed him her wolf eyes. It was awesome. She is such a bad ass. I'm so jealous of her."

A growl escaped his lips. "You aren't improving my opinions of her at the moment."

"Why? I told you she took care of me."

"I don't like hearing about you being groped, that's exactly why I didn't want you to go out alone."

Too much talking, Bella drifted off again. She felt around and realized she was under her covers with her head resting on the pillow. She hadn't remembered climbing in bed. Jacob must have left, the lamp was off and it was totally dark in her room. She wanted to close her eyes again, but then she felt movement on the side of the bed. Her eyes must already be closed, she was definitely in a dream, one of those recurring ones. He brushed the hair off her cheek. She leaned into his palm. She didn't need to see, she only wanted to feel. Her hand went up to his head so that she could run her fingers through the thick, silky hair on his head.

Her voice sounded like a stranger's, all rough and scratchy, but she spoke to her dream man, "What kinds of naughty things are you doing to do to me tonight?" She pulled his shoulders down so he would almost be on top of her. Heavy, her mind thought. He usually didn't feel that heavy in her dreams. She clung to his shoulder tighter and she felt his hot breath on her neck.

"Sleep Bells, the next time I climb under the covers with you, you won't be hypothermic or drunk and 'naughty' is too tame a word for what I plan on doing with you." Soft lips pressed on her forehead.

Real, her conscience told her. She sat straight up in the bed, but she was alone. Her head turned side to side to inspect her room. She fell back again. No, she was hallucinating, her eyes closed again just as she heard it. A motorcycle engine roared to life and then faded off into the distance.

_**~Thanks so much for reading.**_


	14. Chapter 14

**_~A/N Thanks for the responses with the last update. Hopefully, this week I can update more frequently again, but I'm not swearing to it. Sometimes I get frustrated thinking readers want a perfect Bella who always makes the right choices, but I can't do that. This isn't what this story is about. I warned you in the beginning, there is much angst to follow and I'm just getting started. (LOL!) It's challenging to write it, but this is how it's going to go. I love that you all read, even if you scream at me to give Bella a backbone. These characters are all wonderfully flawed, even sweet Seth; I hope you continue to enjoy the ride no matter how messy it gets. _**

**_Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer is the sole owner of Twilight and all recognizable characters, I own nothing!_**

Chapter 13

Pounding...explosions going off in Bella's head. It wouldn't stop, no matter how hard she willed her mind to block the banging. She started to come around when the voice accompanied the noise. "Bells," more rattling on the door, "Isabella Marie Swan, time to get up. Do you hear me?"

"Ugh, Dad," she whispered to herself. "I'm calling in sick, it's fine, you can go Dad." She spoke up so he could hear her through the door.

He opened the bedroom door with force after hearing her response. "Nope, you're not sick...get up Bella."

"What? I can't, Dad...I can barely move."

"No! I don't care how old you are, you're going to listen. I've never missed a day of work because I over-indulged the day before. You'll do the same. It'll build character."

"Dad, please stop yelling at me, I'm sorry okay. I swear I'll never drink again."

"Bells, I haven't raise my voice once, but if you don't get up I will. Come on, I've got something for you downstairs. It'll coat your stomach. Hop in the shower, and wake up. You'll thank me for this one day."

He walked out the door after that last statement, and she highly doubted she would ever thank him for this. She was obedient and did as her father had instructed. She practically crawled into the shower, but at least it did make her feel somewhat human again.

Charlie had two pieces of toast on the table for her as well as a large water bottle, two pills and a small glass of red liquid. "Slowly eat the toast, wash the pills down with the water and sip on it all day. This," he held up the red concoction, one gulp," he handed it to her.

"What is it? If it's tomato juice, no thanks. That's too acidic."

"It's tomato juice plus...drink it," he said.

Again, she did as he said, because she didn't want to hear anymore talking. She couldn't figure out what the "plus" was, but it burned like hell all the way down. After she managed one slice of toast, she announced she was ready to go. Charlie insisted on driving her, which was a relief. She said she'd get a ride home.

The day at school wasn't too bad. She was in a fog, and Kate didn't push for details. She even let her nap on their off period. She had planned on asking Kate for a ride, but Leah texted her and said she'd be there. Bella walked out of the school wearing shades despite the clouds above. Leah was smiling at her which was reassuring. She had worried about her several times since they were forcibly separated the night before. She knew Leah would hold her own, but she also knew she didn't deserve Jacob's or Seth's wrath.

"Not bad, Swan. I have to give you props for actually showing up to work. I never would have believed it after seeing you in my car."

"Dad forced me, said it would build character."

"That's pretty damn funny," she laughed. "Charlie Swan, I swear that guy's an enigma."

Bella shook her head in agreement and climbed in Leah's car.

"By the way, sorry. I shouldn't have pushed."

"No, it was my choice. From what I can remember, I had fun," Bella reassured Leah.

Bella asked Leah to come inside so they could talk a little more. She finally was hungry, so she made them both a sandwich. "They weren't too tough on you, were they?"

"They were a pain in the ass, but it wasn't like they hurt me. In fact, I'd rather have my ass kicked than getting a lecture from Seth, Jacob, and Mom, even she chimed in."

"Oh, I think said something embarrassing to Jake."

"Who cares, you were drunk. He didn't pay attention probably."

She thought back to what she thought she'd said and if her hazy memory served her well, he definitely was paying attention.

"You've got a serious problem with Jake," Leah said.

"Why?" Bella choked a little on her sandwich. Other than the obvious problem with Jacob, Bella wasn't sure where she was headed with that statement.

"I hadn't seen him in action, but last night it was obvious. He fucking thinks he owns you. Even Charlie, took orders from him."

"I'm sure he doesn't think that, Leah. He certainly doesn't own me."

"Well, Seth was beyond pissed. I figured out pretty quick most of his anger he projected on me was due to Jacob. He was about to go inside with you two, but changed his mind. He didn't want to keep disturbing Charlie. If he went up there, he figured they'd fight again."

Bella intended to call Seth later. She definitely thought he'd overreacted, but it must have been difficult for him to see Jacob carry her off to bed. That wasn't fair. Jacob pretty much did what he wanted. She didn't think fairness was a concern to him.

Leah pulled her from her thoughts, "Do you want me to help set up a meeting with Kelsee? I didn't know if you're still trying to avoid Jake and Seth."

Bella inadvertently rubbed her arm. "Um, let me think about it a little more."

She stretched out on the sofa after Leah left. She planned on a quick and easy dinner for her and Charlie, so she thought she could grab an hour nap. If she went up to her bed, she might not want to get back up before the morning. Her night with Charlie was semi-awkward, but he didn't lecture her. When they both turned in to their respective rooms, she decided to touch base with Seth.

"Bella."

"Hey Seth, I just wanted to let you know I'm fine. I didn't feel too fine early this morning, but I'm almost back to normal now. I'm sorry I worried you. I was really stupid, but please leave Leah alone. I like her, she didn't mean any harm."

He told her he had it out with her last night and he would drop it as long as it never happened again.

"So has Jacob calmed down? I'm sure you called him first, right?" he asked with annoyance.

She could easily understand why he'd drawn that conclusion, "No, I don't know anything about that. I didn't call him, Seth."

He huffed into his phone, perhaps he didn't believe her.

"I'm sorry, Seth. What more can I say?"

He didn't seem too interested in carrying on the conversation. Seth had already made his views on Kelsee known, but she wanted to be honest with him. "I think I'm going to try and see that woman, " she paused and then added, "with Leah." That might make it easier for him to hear.

"I'll go to if you want," his voice sounded more like normal.

She still wasn't sure, "I'll let you know. I need to get some sleep, so I guess we'll talk later."

"Wait...one second, Bella. I'm sorry I've been acting like a jerk. I want you to know I'm really going to do what I promised. I'm going to give you space. I've gotten some new supplies for the house, so I'm going to be over there a lot more. Maybe you would like to come by after I make some progress."

"Sure, I'd like that...thanks, Seth. Goodnight."

Bella pulled the quilted, purple book out from the nightstand. She wrote a few things down. So many of those pages were filled with thoughts of Edward. It was time to add some of her more current moods and feelings. No one would ever see the pages, but her, so she wrote exactly what was going through her mind. The rest of the week went by at a snail's pace. If it wasn't for school, she would have been bored senseless. Now that she wasn't seeing Seth or spending time with Jake, she felt quiet lonely. Charlie benefited from some pretty elaborate dinners and she finally called and had a long talk with Renee. Her mom couldn't believe the things Bella had been keeping to herself.

"Honey, this doesn't sound like you at all. I think, if your Dad is better, you should come home. Phil knows the principal at the other elementary school near us. I know he could put in a word or two and you could get a job. Thanksgiving is next week, you could come for the holidays and stay permanently."

If she was completely honest, the thought had crossed her mind at least a hundred times, but something kept her from doing what Renee wanted. Deep down, she knew she couldn't leave. Maybe she didn't want to abandon Charlie, she loved her job, and she knew she could probably have a teaching position the next year. She was well liked at the school. Of course, there was Seth and Jacob, she was missing them after only a few days. Could she ultimately push both of them out of her life for good?

Instead of running out on her Dad for the holidays, she decided to make a nice one for them both. She contacted Kim to go shopping with her. She figured if Kim enjoyed making things, she would know the best places to shop for decorations and holiday decor. Kim was very excited to hear from her. They planned a shopping trip the first of the week, since Bella would be on a break from work. She told Charlie to invite whoever he wanted for Thanksgiving dinner. He felt bad for one of his deputies that had recently gone through a divorce and he wanted to have the Clearwater's if it wasn't awkward for her. She said "no". He was welcome to invite them and she also took the initiative to invite Billy Black.

Before Bella went to sleep Friday night, Leah sent her a message and asked if Saturday evening would work out for her. Kelsee wanted to see her at dusk for some reason. She chewed on her lip for a few more minutes before replying okay. She told her it wasn't necessary for her to pick her up. She wanted to take a drive out to La Push herself, maybe take a walk on the beach and clear her head before seeing Kelsee. She had no idea what to expect. She let Leah know she would meet her at her house at 5.

"Can Seth come or do you want me to tell him 'no way'?"

"Yes, he can come." She needed the support, and Seth did have a calming nature. Although, their recent encounters hadn't been so peaceful.

Bella decided to leave about 3 o'clock. She told Charlie she and Leah were going to hang out which prompted a very suspicious look.

He cocked up one eyebrow. "I'm not going to get woken up again, by a couple of raving lunatics, am I?"

"Of course not, Dad. We are going to stay in, absolutely no drinking. Dr. Thompson was less than pleased about that. She told me Thursday, my meds have warning labels for a reason, so I swear, I'm a responsible adult now."

Bella grabbed her jacket and a book she was currently reading. She drove out to La Push on another cloudy day. It was starting to get colder, but she really wanted to be outside for awhile. She missed Florida for that reason, sitting outside or walking on the beach was almost always an option for her there, no matter what time of year.

She hadn't felt so relaxed in weeks. She was deeply emerged in a novel when he approached. He sat down next to her before she even realized he was there on the beach. "Hey,"

"Hey, Jake, what are you doing?" she turned to look at him sitting there.

"I wanted to see you, is that okay?"

"Um...I'm going to the Clearwater's in a little bit." She waited to see his response but there was none. "Jake, Leah and Seth are taking me to Kelsee's."

"I know."

"You do? How? Nevermind...it doesn't matter. I'm going to see what she has to say. That's what you wanted, right?"

"Yeah, but I wish you would've asked me. I wanted to go with you," the disappointment was evident in his voice.

"What difference does it make?"

He shrugged, and looked out to the water, seemingly ignoring her.

She didn't know what else to do, so she continued to read. There was at least 45 minutes til she was supposed to meet Leah. However, if she got up and left Jacob on the beach, Leah wouldn't have minded her being early. It was exactly what she should do, there was no point to her sitting in silence on the beach with Jake.

Finally, he broke the silence, "Take a walk with me." There was no would or could, it was simply stated.

"No, I don't think so. How'd you even know I was here?"

"Really Bells?"

Leah's words replayed her head, "He thinks he owns you."

She had adamantly denied it, said it wasn't true, but there she was stuffing her book down into her bag and walking alongside him, following him wherever he intended them to go.

They walked side by side without touching or speaking. She wasn't quite sure the point of the walk at all. There were plenty of things that needed to be said, but she wasn't brave enough to say them out loud. Jacob was a mess, he was as taken as any man could be, but she had missed him. Why couldn't they go back to the day he first took her to the cliffs? It was so easy between them then. She fully trusted him that day.

"I don't want to go too far from where I parked. I have to walk back soon."

"Go that way," he pointed to a path away from the beach.

They had been out in the open which probably wasn't the wisest decision. Nadia probably had spies all over the area. She wasn't sure which was worse, being out in the open or somewhere secluded with him, and she would soon find out the answer. They followed a path which led them to a small stream. It was close to the river that ran along the reservation. Jacob took advantage of the privacy and moved in closer.

She still couldn't get over how it always affected her and she had realized after the big reveal, he knew. That was the root of her problem, she couldn't deny what she felt for him when they were alone.

Jacob reached for her hand and she didn't pull back. One side of his mouth tilted up. He was too sure of himself at times. "Bells, I've been trying. You know that, I've left you alone except for the drinking, right?"

She shook her head slightly, somewhere there was a "but" coming. Leaving her alone and giving her space were her requests. He had not wanted that, nor had Seth. Jake had behaved. After he left her in bed, he hadn't called, texted or stopped by. Well, she couldn't be sure about stopping by. She was now unsure how often he might be lurking in the woods as a wolf behind her house.

"It's for the best right now, Jake. I need to get my head on straight."

"So, you've had a good week?" He asked. She had never said that and if she had to rate it honestly, it pretty much sucked. She was bored and lonely and nowhere closer to decoding her true feelings. She missed them both at different times and sometimes at the same time. It wouldn't be right to admit that and because of Jake's keen insight, she didn't need to, "You missed me?" He asked like he already knew the answer.

She let go of his hand and walked a couple of steps away from him. He knew, but her face had it written all over it and she didn't want him to see. Both of his hands pulled at her waist. That was the second she needed to break free and head back to the truck. It was the position that had gotten her into trouble before. His head came to rest on her shoulder, "Please, Bells...this week was torture for me."

He moved his head side to side like he was burrowing deeper into her neck. He kept his lips off of her. He did not play fair at all. By not touching them to her, he made her crave them desperately. He knew exactly what he was doing, but she didn't or she would've been stronger. She turned around and faced him, she was an idiot. That was the only explanation that made sense. He wasn't hers, never could be. Being the other woman, was one of the lowest stations in society. She deserved better for herself, even with her self-esteem, she knew that much. All those thoughts played through her mind, but she worked against herself, because the whole time the internal debate played on, she was pulling him closer. Her hands had reached up to pull at his neck. He leaned in closer a millimeter at a time, still giving her a chance to back down. She didn't, so he proceeded. They were kissing again, just like the morning in the kitchen. Bella had incorrectly imagined it would be their last kiss. Of course, it wasn't and neither was this; she could admit that to herself after feeling the way he owned her mouth. When his tongue slid against hers, she couldn't fathom they would ever have a last kiss.

She clung tightly to his shoulders until he hoisted her up. They were moving, he walked with her but never released her mouth. She took a breath when she needed it. Bella didn't know if there was anything that could stop them. He had sat down on something, her knees found the surface they were on. She raised up on them on either side of Jacob's legs. His hands found their way to her ass and he pulled her in closer. His strong fingers kneaded her flesh and she moaned with the sensations he was producing.

She might not have ever planned on leaving his lap, but he pulled his lips away long enough to whisper, "Bells..."

The pause in their kissing was just enough to bring her back down to earth. She was panting, staring into his eyes and she realized that she was most likely late. The walk was supposed to only be a few minutes, but she had no idea how long they'd kissed. Judging from the way her lips had gone numb, it had been awhile.

"Don't," he admonished her before she'd replied.

"What?" she hadn't pulled away, she was still straddled in his lap with her fingers in his hair.

"Don't start regretting it, something is going on in that head of yours Bells. We need to be honest with one another."

Finally, her mind took over again, and she started to wiggle free. She left his lap and moved to his side. "Jacob, I have to go."

"I know."

"This doesn't change anything," it was a lie she told herself and Jacob.

"Really, Bells? That's your response. Yes, it does. You want me just as much as I want you."

"But..." she was speechless, anything that came out of her mouth would be wrong. She couldn't tell him, she didn't want him. She did...so much. It would have been extremely inappropriate to admit that.

"Go see Kelsee, see what she can do for you, and when you get back to Charlie's, put the key out for me."

"No, Jacob. I don't think that's wise."

"Do it, please. I want to hear about your experience with Kelsee."

"I'll send you a text."

He looked completely put out with that response. "Put the damn key back out there. Even if you don't, I can get in. Why are you trying to make it harder on me?"

"Because you have no business coming in late at night after Charlie's in bed. Isn't it obvious, Jake, we can't be trusted alone."

That arrogant bastard was smiling. She knew she should've kept her mouth shut. He'd never forget she'd said that. "Bye Jake, I've got to go." She got up and started walking the path again. She yelled back, "Don't come over, I'm not leaving the key."

"Left side above the door, same as always, I'll wait til he's asleep."

"I'm not leaving it," she screamed out before disappearing from his sight.

"Yes you will," he called back.

She had made up her mind, there was no way she was leaving that key for him and even if he did have other ways of getting inside; she was sure that when he got there and realized she didn't leave him a key, he'd leave her alone.

Bella made it to the Clearwater's twenty minutes late. Seth swung open the door before she knocked. She took a couple of steps backwards, he'd smell Jake on her. She had an epiphany after finding out about the wolves. The day he asked her to change her shirt, they had only cuddled that day. Would Seth know, she'd been sucking his tongue into her mouth ten minutes before? She had to at least admit, she'd ran into Jacob or he'd know she was lying. Seeing Seth and his sincere face, pulled at her heartstrings. He was a special man, she'd enjoyed their short time together so much. Being with him was definitely good for her, she felt like both men had a hold of her arms and were ripping her in two halves. If Jacob was bad for her, she was most definitely bad for Seth, but round and round the three of them still went.

"Um, sorry I'm late...I ran into Jake. He wanted to know about going to Kelsee's."

"He's not going too, is he?" Seth complained.

"No, no, he wanted to, but I told him you and Leah had it covered. Is she ready?"

Leah came out onto the porch and gave her a strange look. She ran her eyes up and down Bella's form. It made her extremely uncomfortable. "More than you."

"Huh?" Bella didn't get it.

"It seems like I'm more ready than you. You're late."

"I'm sorry, I...I"

Seth answered for her, "Jake held her up wanting some details about Kelsee," he looked at her, "right?"

His wording couldn't have been more unsettling. Her mind flashed to being lifted up by Jacob as he carried them to the log they sat on. She quickly whisked the memory away and told them they should get going. Bella insisted in following them alone in her truck. She figured being cooped up in Leah's small car was not in her best interest. They both shrugged and headed in their separate vehicles. Seth looked sad, he was probably wishing she would have invited him to ride with her. He didn't say a word about it though, since he was remaining completely true to his promise of giving her space.

Kelsee lived in a small house, more like shack which was surprisingly close to where Seth's house was. She'd remembered some of the roads. The three of them walked to door which appeared to be pieced together. Bella doubted it even kept out the elements. "Come in," a scratchy voice said on the other side of the flimsy door.

Leah nudged Bella ahead of them. There were all there for her, so it made sense she'd be the first one in. However, she had no idea what to say to Kelsee. How much had Jacob told her? She didn't want to blurt out, "Can you get this vampire venom out of my arm?" Weird, Bella hadn't given it much thought, but whose venom was it? Was it James's or Edward's or both? It seemed to her the logical answer was it was Edward's. He sucked out James's venom, but inadvertently left a trace of his own. What if it hadn't been an accident. Could he had done that on purpose for reasons unknown? She hoped to God this was not going to involve a sharp object or she might lose her nerve. Despite the many times she'd cut herself, she had always gone into some sort of a trance before, a mental separation with her body. She was fully aware of everything going on at the present time and she was not brave at all, in her opinion. This seemed like one of the scariest things she'd every encountered and she had run with vampires in her teens.

"Isabella, I've been waiting for you for a long time," her voice cracked.

A long time, Bella didn't think Jacob could have mentioned her more than a few months ago at most. Oh well, she was old, maybe she was confused. Great, she was about to experiment on her and she didn't have all her faculties. Leah had said that was the case, Seth swore she had to 100 when he realized she wasn't dead already. Bella swallowed a lump stuck in her throat. She needed to at least say something. "Hi, Kelsee, it's nice to meet you." She reached out her hand, but the bent over old woman pulled her into an embrace. She had two very long braids thrown over each shoulder. She was small, even shorter than Bella. Her face had deep crevices, wrinkles that went on for days. Bella thought her teeth looked quite nice and her eyes didn't appear to have faded in the least. It was strange to look at her closely, there was an unusual mixture of old and new in her. Bella noticed while she hugged her, she smelled earthy, not dirty and no artificial fragrances covered her skin. It was similar to the forest after a short rain, and she felt somewhat soothed by her after the hug. Bella was not touchy-feely, but she had relaxed ten fold in a matter of seconds. Seth was looking in every direction of the small room. It was obvious, he was nervous. That's all the house was, no separate bedrooms or kitchen. She didn't see how a restroom was possible unless it was carefully hidden.

"Okay, you two head out. Why don't you take a run for an hour. I'll need that long to assess Isabella." Leah seemed fine with that and started backing up towards the door.

Seth protested, "No, we'll stay if you don't mind to support Bella."

"That's kind of you son, but no we don't need you and to be truthful, I can't have any negative energy in the room if this is to work."

"Negative energy?" He rolled his eyes at Bella, where Kelsee couldn't see him. "Just because I'm concerned doesn't make me negative."

"Well, your concern is misplaced, and I still need you to leave. Tell them Isabella, tell your friends, you want to be healed."

Bella continued to listen to Kelsee call her Isabella. She was normally so quick to correct others, but she had no inkling to encourage her to call her Bella. She had barely said a word, she cleared her throat, and addressed Seth, "I'm fine Seth, I have my phone. Please get out and run. You look like you need it." She looked at Leah and communicated with her eyes.

"Come on bro, let's go. Bella's fine. She'll let us know if we are needed." Leah pulled at Seth's arm, but he jerked it back. He walked back to Bella, and rubbed down her arm.

"You sure?"

She shook her head and smiled to comfort him.

"I can be back in less than a minute," he gave a warning look to Kelsee.

"I know, it's fine, Seth. I'll see you in an hour."

Finally, he left with Leah. Kelsee held up her hand for a couple of minutes and they were both silent. "Alright sweetie, they're gone. That young Clearwater, he's pure at heart, but mighty stubborn, like his father. So much sadness for that lineage, I'm afraid." Kelsee looked deep in thought. Her bright eyes glazed over with tears. My goodness, she must have been really close to Harry if it brought forth that much emotion from her to mention him. Bella couldn't imagine why she said the family had a lot of sadness. As far as she knew, Harry was the only heartbreak they'd suffered in recent years. Of course, that was incredibly sad, she couldn't imagine losing Charlie at this stage in life. For some reason she felt a chill run up her spine, like something had just been alluded to, but she wasn't privy to the details.

Kelsee had reverted her mood back to jovial. Bella notice a kettle on the fire. She poured the contents out into a primitive mug. "First, you drink this, as hot as you can stand it and it will help to open the door."

Bella smelled the contents, it didn't have the most pleasant odor. It actually smelled awful, she wasn't about to ask what was in it, she didn't want to know. "It's pretty hot," she looked at the old woman.

"Here, let's try this while it cools. Give me the arm."

Bella pulled up her flannel sleeve and Kelsee placed one hand directly over the scar and the other underneath her arm. Her fingers completely ran around her arm and that's when she noticed. How? Bella couldn't understand. It was completely irrational. Kelsee was a very old woman, her face proved that, but when Bella saw those hands, she did a double take. She literally closed her eyes tightly and reopened them to have a better focus. Kelsee's hands looked like they could easily be the hands of someone her own age, someone in their early twenties, so eerily similar to her own. She looked at the hands and then into Kelsee's unusually bright eyes which were a bluish gray. Bella wondered how uncommon that color was for someone with Native American blood.

Kelsee spoke up, "Not everything has a rational explanation, you should know that by now, dear." She started to lightly rub on the bite mark. It didn't repulse her like the wolf touch did, but Bella's breathing picked up, something was going on. She felt strange, perhaps even light-headed and she still hadn't taken a sip of that tea yet. "It's there, we have to get it out. I can't do it all at once, but we can start today. You must focus Isabella. You must will it to leave. There," she pointed to the mug, "Drink the tea, I know it's bitter, but get it down as fast as you can." Kelsee walked over to a second pot and pulled out strips of soaked fabric. They were steaming and stained dark. Bella downed the hot drink as fast as she could. She was afraid she was going to gag and it would come back up, but her stomach surprisingly held it down.

"It's going to be hot, but I promise it won't burn your skin." She wrapped the cloths around the scar a strip at a time. She lost count of the number of layers, because she suddenly felt dizzy.

Shit...Bella felt like she was slipping away. That nasty tea was laced with a drug. She felt herself tense up like she should fight it in case it knocked her out and she never woke up. "Shh. Don't resist, come over to the cot and lie down. All you have to do is rest and remember what I said, will it to leave your body."

Bella focused on her words as she was prone on the cot covered in animal skins. Her body went through every temperature change possibly. She went from icy cold to fiery hot like she burning alive, but she did what she was supposed to. She said in her mind, "Leave...leave you filthy poison. I don't want you, you don't belong inside me." She manage to say the phrase at least three times before she emerged into total darkness.

"Dammit, she's still not waking up! What'd you give her?" Seth yelled. Seth and Leah were back, but it took a few more minutes before Bella could open her eyes to acknowledge them.

"Seth, chill look she's awake. Swan, you okay? How do you feel?" Leah shook her arm.

"I told you, trust me...Isabella is much better than when she first came through the door."

Bella was groggy but she once her eyes opened, she started coming around quickly. It wasn't like drinking alcohol at all. She sat herself up and Seth came to her side. She leaned on him a little while longer as they all listened to Kelsee's instructions.

"Maybe three more treatments," Kelsee patted Bella's shoulder.

"What? You intend to knock her out three more times? How do we know it's even working?" Seth asked.

Leah, Seth and Bella watched Kelsee pick up the roll of linens that had previously been on Bella's arm as she tossed them into the fire. A purple smoke escaped up the fireplace. It was slightly familiar to Bella. She'd seen that before, she thought. The rocking chair, maybe at the dance studio but she'd been out of it then.

"Mother fucker," slipped from Seth's mouth.

"Son of a bitch," was heard from Leah.

"What?' Bella was confused as to why they were so alarmed. "What did that mean?"

"It's vampire, Swan," Leah answered her. "It's what we see every time we light 'em up."

Bella had been a good test subject and very cooperative up until that point, but she was starting to panic, "Do it again," she pleaded with Kelsee. "Get it all out," she screeched. "I want it out, please get it all out of me."

Seth held onto her. He lifted her up into his lap and physically restrained her. She was hysterical. Kelsee got in her face. "Calm down Isabella, most of it's gone, trust me, but I can't do more today. I have to take it slow or I could send you into shock. Your body has grown accustomed to the venom for over fives years. I need you to get plenty of rest and drink lots of water tonight. Eat healthy and take care of yourself and come back next week, same time. It'll be easier each time. One of you drive her home," Kelsee instructed. Bella got a hold of herself after listening to Kelsee, since she swore most of it was gone.

"Seth, please. Will you drive me?"

"Of course, Bella. Can we go now?" he asked the old woman.

"Yes, it's fine. You all know where to reach me if she needs me before next week.

Seth picked up Bella and carried her to the truck. She snuggled against his warmth as they drove back to Charlie's. She finally said something, "Thanks for being there with me, Seth."

"Anytime, you know I'm always there for you, right?"

She did. That is what made it all so difficult. "I know and I'm forever grateful. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He hugged her close, "Do you want me to come in?"

She shook her head, "No, too many questions, Charlie thinks I was with Leah. I'm fine, I guess you'll run back?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, well, maybe you could come over tomorrow for football. Please? I want you to."

He was grinning ear to ear. "Definitely, that's the best news I've had all week."

Bella went inside and pretended everything was completely normal in front of her Dad. She had gone back on the porch and back inside a few times as she debated about something.

"Bells, you've got the damn jitters again. Are you sure your doctor has you on the right meds?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Well, you're petite, maybe she gives you too much."

"Dad, they know how tall I am and how much I weigh. My meds are fine."

"Alright, well I'm going to bed, you've exhausted me with all that pacing."

"Oh, Dad, football tomorrow. I invited Seth.""

"Woohooo," Charlie was excited. "Snacks?"

"Yes, Dad."

"The cheese dip?"

"Sure, I'll make the dip. Good night, Dad."

She gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before he headed up the stairs. She double checked the kitchen to see if it was clean and she moved clothes from the washer to the dryer before she went up for a shower.

She'd tossed an turned almost two hours. She hadn't even climbed in between the sheets. It was freaking ridiculous, she'd told him she wasn't leaving it out. Hopefully, he'd finally gotten the message, and he wasn't going to show. Charlie's light had been out over an hour. Kelsee said she needed rest. She took one more gulp of water from the cup she had next to her bed and then turned on her stomach, so that she could finally fall asleep.

Click...her lamp flashed on. A very, cocky Jacob Black towered over her bed proudly displaying a silver key between his fingers. "Told you, you'd leave it out."

_**~Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate each and everyone of you.**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Here it is...the story continues. Time for the angst and messy stuff to really kick into gear.**__  
_

Chapter 14

"Talk," Bella stated to wipe that smirk off his face. "That's the only reason, you're here. I just wanted to tell you about what happened."

"Okay, we'll talk, but first," he stalked to the bed til his legs were against the mattress. She leaned back to feel like she was further away, but instead, it made her more accessible. He dropped his hands at her sides virtually caging her in. "Bella, I've missed you so much." He stroked her cheek with his large palm and that was all it took. They ended up on the bed together, starting where they had left off earlier. She was right, they couldn't be trusted together. For the first time since all this started, she didn't care. It's what she wanted, and damn the consequence.

They kissed until she needed air and then Jacob went to her neck which felt amazing. She had never been in that position, with a man in between her legs. It sent a rush through her body every time he moved against her. She was throughly enjoying what he was doing to her body, but she needed to tell him something. It was all happening so fast, they were a tangled mess of limbs and Jacob's body heat. It was important she spoke up, before they went any further.

"Jake..."

He covered her mouth with his again, so she couldn't talk, but she nudged him off.

"Jake...I'm not ready."

He stopped and looked into her eyes. "I know honey, I wasn't going to try. We're just kissing."

"We're doing a little more than kissing, Jake," she looked down to her bare chest. They both had lost their shirts early on.

"Alright, you got me there, but I swear I wasn't going to take off my pants. They stay on til you tell me different. I'm not trying to rush us, I've just missed you so damn much, I got a little carried away."

She nuzzled against his chest after he rolled to his back. His fingers rubbed up and down her back.

"Say something, I'm starting to get worried. Do you want me to leave?"

"No, no Jake...not yet."

"Are you ready to talk about what happened at Kelsee's?"

Her answer did not come out verbally. She climbed onto his torso and straddled his pelvis. She kissed him slow and controlled, so he would know how much she meant it. He jerked into her and it hit in exactly the right spot. She made some noises that she couldn't believe were coming out of her mouth. He flipped them over and rocked into her a few more times. Was she really that turned on that it could happen even though they had their pants on? She didn't know for sure, but she swore that it was about to happen.

"Um Bells..." He was breathing heavily. "It's okay, don't be embarrassed. I want you to feel good."

"But I can't Jake, what about you?"

"Shh, it's okay honey," he whispered again to her.

She relaxed feeling him breathe against her skin. They went back to making out and even when his hand slid under her waistband, she didn't freak out. Actually, she encouraged it. She swore it barely took but a few flicks of his finger right in that spot and she fell over the cliff she'd been dangling off of for the past 20 minutes. He held his fingers there a little while longer and they continued to kiss until she felt completely sated.

"Damn Bells, that was so hot." He kissed her nose, and rubbed his chin on her cheek. He got up off the bed which greatly alarmed her.

"What? You're leaving? Are you seriously going to run out on me that quick?"

"No, give me a little credit, I need to go to the restroom okay or I'm never going to be able to concentrate on what you need to tell me."

"You can't Jake, my dad."

"Trust me if he didn't wake up with your sex noises, he's not going to wake up."

He left her room. Really, sex noises? Was she loud, she honestly didn't remember, she was so caught up in him. Before she had too much time to analyze what had happened, he walked back in. "Scoot," and she slid across the bed, so he could get next to her again. "You're still blushing, Bells."

"Oh, but its dark, how can you tell?"

"I just can, it's adorable."

She covered her cheeks, "I'm sorry."

"About what, that was amazing."

"Well, that you...um, that you had to," she paused.

"Jerk off," he laughed, "You can't even say it, can you?"

She shook her head, and he pulled he closer, stroking her hair as he held her.

She took a deep breath, and placed her hand back on his chest. "Jake, what are we?"

"I don't know Bells, people...we're human," she looked at him strangely. "I am, as far as feelings and emotions go," he added.

"What's wrong with me, I don't even feel guilty?"

"That's good, I wasn't expecting that," he leaned to kiss her forehead. "I'm not saying we're perfect, far from it. We're going to hurt people, most of all ourselves, if we continue, but I still want to be with you. If that makes me a selfish prick, then that is what I am."

She layed against his warm chest and started to explain the time she was at Kelsee's. He listened attentively. He tried to reach for her arm, but she pulled back, "Not yet, not til it's all gone, okay? It's still very tender."

"It sounds like I was right. I knew something was off. She's a trip, isn't she?"

"Jake there's more to her than meets the eye. Have you ever seen her hands?"

"No, I guess I didn't pay attention. She and I have only had some discussions. She has nothing for me yet that has been hands on, like you experienced."

"Jake, I swear she has the strangest hands, they're too young for her age. Please don't think I'm crazy, but they're not only young hands, they're carbon copies of mine." She held them up knowing he could see them in the dark.

"Bells, you said you were semi-conscious right? How could she have your hands, she's not originally from here? You're not Native American, Charlie said once there's not a trace even though his ancestors settled close to the reservation many years ago. It's not like she's your long lost grandmother or something."

"Well, how do you explain what I saw, and I noticed her hands before the tea."

"Pauwau," he whispered.

"You acted like Seth was exaggerating, that you didn't think she was a witch. Is that what she really is?"

"I don't know, but maybe there's some truth to it. I didn't want to worry you before."

"Well, I'm not scared of her, but I'm definitely interested in finding out more. No more lies, between us either. I want to know what you're thinking and I'll do the same. Deal? Even if the questions and answers are painful."

She knew he was already struggling with honesty. He had been in her bedroom for close to two hours, she knew he probably had to leave soon. That is why he had gone silent and pulled her in tighter. She decided to give him a reprieve. "Jake, I'm really tired now, so you should go."

"I can stay til you fall asleep," he offered.

"No, I'll be too distracted with you next to me."

He chuckled a little and she slapped his chest softly.

"Hey," he said in a serious tone, "I swear this isn't about getting off or the physical stuff. You mean so much more than that, you know that, right? I'm attracted to you in every way, but once we opened the door, it's hard to shut it back."

"Yes, Jake, I'm right there with your analogies." He picked the key off the nightstand.

"Where do you think you're going with that?" she asked.

"I'm putting it back."

"Jake, you cannot be coming over here late at night all the time. I work, you know."

"I won't and feel free to tell me 'no' anytime. I'll abide by your wishes."

"Like you did today?"

"Yes, you said you wouldn't put the key out, but you did. That's on you, honey, not me."

Ugh, he was infuriating at times, but she did put that key there going against everything she said she would do. She really didn't know why she'd done it. It wasn't purely a lapse in judgment or a moment of weakness, she wanted to see him again, needed it was more like it. She'd been in the care of mental health professionals for a long while and she'd learned a lot about psychology. Was it possible that she had an addictive personality? It was obvious to her now, she'd been addicted to Edward and the withdrawals she experienced after he abandoned her almost killed her. She didn't even think about Edward anymore. If he knocked on the door right now, she thought she'd probably feel nothing. It was evident, she would never be an alcoholic or a pill popper. She was a messy drunk and she really hated that she was on medication, she didn't like swallowing pills everyday. Was her addiction, unhealthy relationships? Is that even a thing? Leave it to her to create a whole new category for mental malfunctions.

He had been gone for a few minutes and she hated the reality. He left her bed to go to his own, the bed where Nadia waited for him. It disgusted her, and she should be disgusted with herself, but she wasn't. They had a connection, she knew what she was feeling was real and that she honestly loved him. Yes, it was wrong and unhealthy. Seth deserved better, so did she. She thought back to how excited they both had been when she invited him over again. She was beyond tired, so she needed to shut her brain down and deal with what was happening one day at a time. Maybe once she and Seth hung out again, she would have a clearer picture.

Watching football was fun, not exactly the game, but having Seth there and watching Charlie and Billy's interactions was always entertaining. She had caught herself more than once staring at his profile while he enjoyed the game. She loved the way his face lit up when a good play happened. It was a good day, she was going to ask to start spending time with him again. She had to keep a secret from him, but she decided she was going to do what she had to do to find happiness. He made her happy. Jacob made her crazy, but she had raging passion for him that she couldn't deny. No one had ever made her feel like Jake had. Everyone has secrets and anyone that claims they don't are liars, damn liars.

Seth was helping her clean the kitchen after Billy left. Seahawks lost at the end, and Charlie and Billy were both in mourning. The whole time, it appeared they had it in the bag, but the fourth quarter ended up being a shut out. Bella was learning quite a lot after all the Sunday football afternoons.

Seth bumped her from the side while they were drying, "I had fun, did you?"

"Lots, thanks."

"Whatcha thanking me for, Bella?"

"Um, I don't know...maybe just because we had fun and you didn't make it weird for me."

They finished the kitchen, Charlie took off with Billy to give him a ride home, so it was just the two of them. "Wanna sit on the couch and watch some regular show?"

"Sure, I'll get it started, where's the blanket?" Bella didn't really need a blanket next to Seth, but it was a ritual. She'd pull it up to her neck, he wiggle free of it, because it was too hot, but she'd keep putting it back over them so they could snuggle together.

"Oh it's in the dryer, let me grab it."

They spent the next hour and half watching three episodes, laughing and snuggling on the couch. She even relaxed enough to prop her feet in his lap and he rubbed her feet exactly the way she liked it. "I guess I should be going soon before Charlie comes back. I don't want to wear out my welcome."

"Seth, you're always welcome, I mean it. Is this too weird?"

"What Bella?"

"Can we start over? Is that even a possibility?"

"I'm willing if your are." He held her close, and she took deep breaths and savored the hug they shared. He rubbed up and down her back which comforted her even more. "Hey, how do you feel after yesterday? Was I too crazy?"

"No, you were just being concerned, but I think it went well. Thanks for calming me down. I know I was starting to have a panic attack. It was just too freaky to hear you and Leah describe burning vampires."

"No, I'd be freaked out if that was in me too. You had every right to be panicked. It kinda felt like an exorcism." She looked at him with wide eyes, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you again."

"No, I get it. Maybe it was similar, I don't know. I would have never thought those were real if you'd asked me a few years ago, but look at me now. I don't feel like I can question anything. Who knows what really exists out there. I know for a fact that Kelsee is a pow-wu."

"Pauwau, you mean," he laughed at her translation.

"Yeah, she is, but not like the kind that rides a broom. She fascinates me, I'm not afraid anymore."

"I'm glad, you don't ever have to be afraid of anything as long as I'm around." She knew that was true and they had a couple of more hugs before he left. She headed up for a shower and went to her room. There was a text from Jake.

**giving you a break tonight **

**miss u bells...so much**

That was the only way it was going to work, she'd have to block out the other one when she was with one of them. Eventually, she'd make her final decision. It'd end up being Seth, she was almost positive. She just had to get Jake out of her system and then she'd be ready for a real commitment. Plenty of young women went through a wild phase. She obviously skipped that since she sat inside and stared at the same four walls for almost five years straight. This was just her rebellion. Despite the fact she didn't feel very rebellious, that is what she was chalking it up as.

Kim met Bella Monday morning. My god that girl could shop, and she never quit talking, but despite all that; Bella had started to like her. She helped her with a some great deals at both the craft stores. She had a system with the 40% coupons, they got some great deals. Bella bought plenty of Thanksgiving decorations, but she also bought lots of Christmas stuff. Charlie's decorations were at the end of their better days when she lived with Charlie five years ago, she was going all out this year. They needed to feel festive for once.

When they got all that Bella felt like she needed, Kim suggested lunch. "Thanks, Kim, you helped a lot," she complimented her.

"You want a real tree, right?"

"Yes, do you know a good place to get one?"

"Actually, Paul knows a guy with a farm. I'll ask him for you."

Bella couldn't help it, she made a face at the mention of Paul's name.

Kim twirled her napkin around her finger and seemed nervous for some reason. When they were shopping, she had no issues making conversation with her. "Is there something else on your mind, Kim?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind me asking. I swear I'm not a gossip, but what exactly is going on?"

"I assume you mean with Seth and Jacob."

She nodded for confirmation. Bella didn't think she could divulge too much. She actually had no one that she could fully confide in. Some things had to be kept to oneself, like possibly falling in love with two men.

"Kim, I hope you don't mind, but I don't want to talk about it in detail. Seth and I are restarting our friendship. That's all I know for now."

"You're nice, Bella. I know Jacob is frustrated about his imprint. Nadia is never very nice to me even though we are supposedly in the same club," she held up her hands in air quotes.

"From what I hear, she isn't nice to anyone but Emily and Jessica Newton."

"Yeah, well, I know imprinting doesn't seem to be what the elders say it is, but I'm so grateful for it, Bella. Jared is a dream come true. I love him so much, and it's not forced, at least for me, it's not. Imprinting rescued me, my parents were extremely selfish and cruel. I don't know what I would've done if he and I weren't joined by the imprint. Do you honestly think he'd ever given me a second glance? I'm not a complete idiot like they all say behind my back. I know I'm nothing special. Jared's smart and handsome, and he has a lot going for him. He knows his Dad's business and he will always be successful even though he lost his scholarship."

Bella felt really bad to hear Kim put herself down. Maybe this was the one instance imprinting wasn't so bad. Even if it seemed to be benefiting the imprintee more than the wolf, like the legends stated. "Kim, after getting to know you, I can say with assurance, Jared is lucky to have you as a mate. I feel bad for the others, they weren't as fortunate."

Kim's face lit up, "Thanks, Bella, we're going to be great friends. I don't care anything about Nadia's threats. I'm not afraid of her. I've been bullied my whole life, so I can take care of myself."

"What a minute, Nadia threatened you? How? What exactly did she say?" That bitch was a psycho, Bella was developing a deeper understanding of just how obsessed she was with each passing day.

Kim told Bella about a phone call she'd received from Nadia two days after the bonfire. She invited her to coffee, which was completely out of ordinary. Nadia told her in no uncertain terms, Bella was an outsider. The counsel would soon ban her from the reservation and that Jake had deliberately disobeyed them by telling her the secret. She warned her there would be consequences for anyone that got mixed up with Bella.

"I told her you were nice, and we were friends. She called me a stupid bitch, but first she asked me a few questions. She wanted to know where you hung out with Jacob, had I ever seen you two together, stuff like that. I got mad and left and haven't heard from her since. I think she wanted me to spy on you. Don't worry, I would never do that; but that Jessica girl would if she had the chance.""

"Definitely, don't worry any niceties we've ever displayed were for show. Neither of us like each other. I'll steer clear of her."

"Bella, I'm not sure what the whole story is, but I'm not going to judge you. Most people can't control who they fall for, I just hope Seth doesn't get hurt. He really seems to like you, no one has ever seen Seth with a girlfriend. He's never trusted someone enough to want a relationship."

"I agree, Seth is one of a kind, and I would never want to hurt him. Jake is special too, and he doesn't deserve what has happened in his life. His pack is against him as is the counsel, maybe even his father and he has an imprint from hell. I was the first person to be a friend to him after all that, so I take the blame for all the complications that arose from it."

"You'll do the right thing, I'm sure of it. You're such a good person, no one else has ever been this nice to me."

Bella smiled, feeling pleased Kim thought that highly of her. Deep down guilt stirred because she wasn't exactly as good as Kim professed. She hoped she never disappointed her, but it would probably happen one day.

He was there that night unannounced, but she didn't mind since he'd stayed away Sunday. They spent half the time catching up and the rest of time doing other stuff. He couldn't stay more than an hour, but any little bit was enough to tide her over. Yep, she was using junkie lingo now, and it was the most honest she'd been with herself. She was quickly becoming addicted to his kisses, and his touches. Those dreams paled in comparison to what it really felt like to be trapped in the sheets with Jake.

Even though she had her work cut out for her getting Thanksgiving organized for seven people, she still managed to stay up an extra hour or two every other night with Jake. She'd always invite Seth over the next day after he visited. If she actually admitted that to anyone, they'd be fair to pass judgment on her. It was so wrong, but it was her reality now. That was how she was functioning, getting high on Jake at night and feeling grounded in the evenings with Seth at her side. He had yet to pursue a goodnight kiss again, but they were hugging a lot and snuggling and holding hands. He probably thought he was giving her plenty of space because Bella wasn't completely comfortable with intimacy. The fact was she'd progressed very quickly with Jacob after only a few nights and the last time he didn't even have to excuse himself to the bathroom. She actually blushed at the memory, it was very intense. She had once feared, she didn't have it in her to truly please a man, but she did. He left that night very pleased, despite the fact she was still holding out for full blown sex.

Thursday arrived, Charlie will so thrilled he kept coming in the kitchen to ask if she needed help, and to tell how proud he was for her doing this. The house was perfect. Charlie had found them a long table, Seth had moved some furniture around them the night before. Kim had come by as well and they decorated, ever place setting was out of a magazine perfect. They even made little name cards to go at each spot. She and Charlie, plus Billy, Sue, Seth and Leah. The deputy, Randy, was going to be a little late, but he was very pleased they'd invited him. His ex had taken the kids out of town and it would be his very first holiday alone. Seth said they'd pick up Billy and be there at 1:30.

Bella was shocked to hear someone bang on the door a little before one. Charlie was up getting a shower, she'd just had one after her last bit of cooking was done. She was all ready to see Seth. She had paid special attention to her looks, she was actually wearing a comfortable skirt for the occasion. Kim surprised her with it, she made it herself. It was very cute. She swung open the door to find none other than Paul Lahote leaning against the door frame, "Hey sweetheart, took you long enough, can I come in?"

All kinds of thoughts raced through her mind at once, but the first thing she could say was, "Why are you here?"

"Ouch, I thought we were friends. Sometimes, friends stop by unannounced."

"On Thanksgiving?"

He looked around the room, "Oh yeah, that's today, isn't it. To be honest, I don't keep up with all your pale face traditions. Y'all make a holiday out of anything just to have a day off from work."

"Has anyone ever told you, you're very offensive?"

He laughed, "All the time, just how I like it."

"So, to answer my question. Why are you here?"

He walked further into the living room. "Damn girl, it's like the first Thanksgiving threw up in here. Do you always decorate this much?"

"No, not that it's any of your business, but I'm trying something different."

He took a deep, exaggerated breath, "Well whatever you're trying, it smells good, damn good. Do you have extra?"

She couldn't believe this. He still hadn't told her why he was here. Seth would've warned her if he knew, she was sure of that. Who the hell invites themself to a family's holiday, especially when it so obvious she hated him.

"Oh yeah, you wanted to know what brought me by today."

"Yes?"

"Kim, it was Kim. She said you want a tree, so I'm here to offer my services to you. I'll give you a ride any day next week to my buddy's tree farm and you're going to get a deal." He raised his eyebrows twice when he said "ride", which made her want to respond with no thank you. She'd find her own tree. "He's taking you to the premium crop and giving you half off for being with me. Trust me, you'd pay close to a hundred for the kind of tree your going to get anyplace else and I'll carry it for you and help you set it up." He squeezed her arm a couple of times. "You don't seem too strong, so I'm guessing that's worth something, right?"

"Like what, do you want me to pay you or something?"

He was laying it on pretty thick. Bella expected plenty of women would drop their panties for him if they were on the receiving end of that kind of attention: the looks, the sexy voice, etc. She couldn't lie to herself, physically he was hot. She hated the tactics being used on her, felt like she needed another shower as soon as he left, if he ever left. He was still standing there. "I'll have Kim get in touch with you when we can go."

"Oh shit, she's not coming too, is she?"

"Yes, I'm not going alone with you."

He let out a frustrated breath, "Whatever, now you really owe me."

"Owe you what, Paul?" she couldn't help yelling at him.

"I'm about to go on patrol, so will you please save me a plate? Your food smells so amazing and no one's ever cooked a Thanksgiving meal for me, so will you? Dessert too? I know you made dessert. Did you make pie? I love piiieee." He drug the word out and made it sound dirty, of course.

"Fine, I can do that. I made a lot." Was he telling the truth, no one had ever made him a meal like this? She shook her head, before she had the chance to feel sorry for him.

"Swear it, okay. I'll run by around 7 and I'll have my appetite with me. Don't let Seth and Jake eat it all before I get mine."

"Oh, Jake won't be here." she corrected him, he had not been invited, "Only Billy, not Jacob. Don't worry, I'll set your food aside and hide it. Seth won't even know it's there. You really are getting me a good deal on the tree. Um, thanks, I guess."

He leaned over like he was going to offer a hug but she pulled back, not needing one from him. She walked him to the door, feeling relieved he was about to leave.

"Not sure what the story is but you're wrong, Jake's coming over, so get ready for that. I wish I could stay and watch the show, but I'm late for patrol, so see ya."

She pushed the door shut and looked down the long table that was perfectly set up. It could never be big enough. Paul had to be messing with her. Jake could not be on his way there, what the hell was he thinking? Why wasn't he with his imprint? She didn't invite him, he knew she was having the Clearwater's and Billy over, but he never mentioned once wanting to be here.

"Fuck," she whispered as she surveyed the set up once again.

"Whoa, there Bells, I think everything looks perfect. I never hear you talk like that. Why are you so stressed? This is going to be the best Thanksgiving in history. You've thought of everything. Relax," He guided her to the chair for her to sit down and rubbed her shoulders a little. "It's going to be perfect," he announced.

As soon as Charlie said the word "perfect" she replaced it with "a disaster" in her mind. All this week of pretending one didn't exist when she was with the other would come crashing down on her with them both sitting at the same table. He might think he could come over unannounced and pretend everything was normal, but if he thought he was getting a place card on the table, he certainly was not. That was the last incoherent thought she had before a knock was heard at the door.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_** Can't put a timetable on making them behave or start doing the right thing, sorry, more like sorrynotsorry; this is my tale. I don't condone it, I don't live like this; not even close, it's pure fiction. I love to hear from my readers and I appreciate you for sticking with me, if you can't then that's okay. Maybe one day you could check back in when the story is complete.** _


	16. Chapter 16

_**It was kind of stuck in my head to make this fic 25 chapters, but I don't know; I may have to go longer than that. **_

Chapter 15

Thank goodness, the knock was produced by Billy Black, not his son.

"Hey Bella, are we too early?" Billy asked with Seth and Sue standing behind him.

"No, everything's ready, come on in." Billy pushed his way in. Seth quickly made his way to her side and planted a kiss to her cheek.

"This looks so good, you really went all out."

"Oh Seth's right, Bella. The house looks great. I can't wait to see what you and Kim come up with for Christmas," Sue praised.

Bella looked beyond them to see if it was just the three of them.

"Leah's on the way in her own car," Seth added. "She was right behind us." Seth did some sort of sweep through the living room. Bella wasn't sure if it was a cop maneuver or a wolf thing. "Paul," he mouthed to her.

She shook her head. She headed to the kitchen and he followed. "He makes me uncomfortable."

"Why was he here?" Seth asked.

"He's helping me get a tree this week and he wants payment,"

Seth raised an eyebrow, "Be more specific. I don't like how that sounds."

"Food, he wants me to feed him tonight."

"Well, what'd you tell him?"

"I promised I would, his friend is giving me a deal on a tree."

"Just be careful, Bella...you know what they say about strays, once you feed 'em they're yours. After he tastes your cooking, he'll probably howl at the back door a few times a week."

"I don't like him," she confessed.

"That's going to make him want to hang around even more, you should pretend he doesn't bother you."

"I'll try, I guess. Wait til you get a load this," Bella uncovered a corner of the turkey so Seth could get a whiff of it.

"Yum, smells great. I can't wait to dig in. Are we waiting on Randy?"

"I think so, I also baked a ham and made all the traditional sides. I have four pies, because I couldn't decide which ones to make. I made apple, pecan, pumpkin and chocolate. Of course, I made whipped cream too. That's the best part. So this Randy, he's new? I didn't know him from before."

"Yeah, he's not much older than you. He got married young, had a couple of kids and then his wife gave him the 'we've grown apart speech'. He begged her to try once more, but she wouldn't. She got the house and he's renting a room over one of the businesses near the station. He's a good guy, very friendly. I think you'll like him. This will be good for him."

Leah made her entrance known a few seconds later. She held up a place card with her name, "Gee, thanks Swan, you never know when you might forget."

"Zip it Leah, Bella put a lot of detail into the table," he corrected her.

"I know, I didn't say it wasn't nice, but the names took it a smidge over the top. Do you mind if I rearrange the seating? I don't want to sit by Mom." Sue made a face at her daughter.

"Oh sure, Leah, I didn't have a concrete seating arrangement or anything. Maybe you'd be happier sitting next to Randy," she joked.

"Hell no, not him either. I don't date cops, so don't even try some sort of set up." Both Bella and Sue shrugged at that comment.

Seth put his arm around her and told his sister she could mix the names up however she wanted but he was sitting by Bella.

"So you two are back on? You didn't take much time to mull it over, you sure you're not rushing because mistakes could cost you?" She looked at Bella menacingly at first but then smiled like she was happy about it.

Deep within Bella's stomach churned, she was starting to feel sick. This day had a whole lot of added pressures now. She hoped he wasn't showing up. Seth asked what he could help with, so she had him carry in the turkey to the table. She had space for the turkey and the rolls on the table they were eating at. All the rest was going to go on the regular table in the kitchen. Another knock came at the door. Wishful thinking was it wasn't Jake, because he probably wouldn't even knock, if she thought about it.

Bella made her way to the door to face whatever, or whoever was on the other side. "Randy," she said loud enough so everyone would hear. "It's so nice you could join us, please come in. I'm Bella, Charlie's daughter." He shook her hand with a smile on his face.

"Charlie, um sir, I mean, you didn't tell me you had such a lovely daughter."

"Charlie's fine, we're off duty and yes, Bella is my best kept secret. She's smart, beautiful, kind and a helluva cook. You won't be disappointed."

"Dad," Bella ducked her head in embarrassment.

"I'm sure I won't," he added and call her crazy, there was something in his voice that alarmed her. No way, this guy cannot be trying to flirt with me. Is the ink on his divorce papers even dry? Maybe that's why his wife kicked him to the curb, he's a womanizer. Was Forks that desperate for women? She never got a second glance in Florida.

Seth must have heard it, because his arm slipped around Bella's waist when he greeted his colleague.

"Oh, is Bella your girl Seth? Sorry, I didn't know. You never mentioned it at work."

"That I'm seeing the boss's daughter, Randy. No I did not, because Bella and I, as well as Charlie are very private people, so I expect you'll respect that, huh buddy?"

"Oh, of course, hell yes," he looked at her again til she felt uncomfortable, and added, "Lucky guy Seth, You're really lucky."

"It's just a thing with him: loud, outgoing. I don' think he meant it, but if he comes close to you again, let me know and I'll hurt him."

"Seth, you can't do that. You're both cops who work for my Dad. It's fine," In reality it wasn't fine, she could very well be juggling Seth and Jake in a few minutes and a newly single guy that was giving her looks. This was all under her Daddy's roof with Leah watching every move she made for some reason. There was entirely too much going on at once and she hadn't carved the turkey yet.

Jacob was a no show, so she calmed down enough to get the serving under way. The dinner was great. All the men went for seconds, as did Leah. Bella got an array of compliments from everyone. She was glad she'd calmed down and let herself enjoy all her hard work. Seth squeezed her leg from time to time and whispered to her occasionally, which usually made her laugh. He had secret commentaries about pretty much everyone at the table. Leah heard the one he made about her and she kicked him hard under the table.

"You two knock it off. You aren't 12 any longer, these squabbles are childish. Sorry everyone, my children still have some growing up to do."

"Don't apologize for me, Mom. Tell your kid to quit talking shit about me. I could spill all his dirty laundry out on the table right now and I guarantee you'd all lose your Thanksgiving dinner."

"Leah," Sue sounded exasperated and Seth look mortified. Bella knew he was keeping some things from her, but she didn't care. She was definitely not in a position to judge because of the way she was currently carrying on. Leah was still one to watch. Bella felt they'd come a long way in building a friendship, but it was not wise to piss her off. She went for the jugular when she was provoked.

Bella quickly changed the subject with the announcement, "I made pie, lots of them. Does everyone want to take a break or have some now?"

The general consensus was everyone wanted to wait at least 30 minutes. Seth helped Bella start clearing the empty plates off the table. Billy reached for her hand when she started to pick up his plate. She paused and listened to what he had to say.

"Bella, I wanted you to know how much I appreciate you for inviting me. I swear I haven't had home cooking like this since my Sarah was alive."

"You're welcome, Billy. You know I love to cook and you're welcome over anytime to share a meal with us."

He gently pulled he down a little closer, so he could whisper to her. "I'm glad you're back. It means the world to your father, this is where you belong. No matter what happens, remember that, okay?"

She nodded her head.

"Don't forget that," he added.

Bella wondered what exactly was going on through Billy's mind. He seemed to truly care for her. She knew he loved his son and took his role as chief seriously. He sat on the very counsel that Jacob stood up against on a regular basis. She wondered what he really thought about imprinting, and if he approved of Nadia. It must all put him in a terrible position.

Seth came up behind her while she was scrapping leftover food off a plate into the trash. His arms slipped around her, and he whispered in her ear, "You did great." His hands had started to move a little up and down her sides. They were in the kitchen alone, she could hear everyone else talking at the table. He turned her around so he could look at her, "Bella, I think it's time we talked about some things."

"Oh god," she thought, had she been busted already? He was actually being very lovely, so it couldn't be that when she really thought about it.

"About me, about shit I use to do, the way I was. You have a right to know the truth."

"Seth, it's fine. We didn't know each other," she reassured him. She seriously didn't want to know the truth, because it would only highlight the fact that she was a devious liar. He was willing to reveal things to her that he was ashamed of just so they wouldn't have secrets between them. She saw how he was conflicted, so she rubbed up and down his back, and reassured him, "Tonight, when everyone leaves. If you need to tell me something, I'll listen but really it's not necessary."

He smiled and pulled her tighter, she thought it was the perfect chance to see what kissing him was like again. Maybe it would be enough to make her see the light and appreciate what she had standing before her. Seth bent down and she stretched upward til they just about met in the middle. "Am I interrupting something? Charlie said I should come get some food."

He ruined it. Seth released her and took a step back. She and Seth both had a look of surprise on their faces. He'd just shown up out of nowhere. She never heard a knock, because like she thought earlier, he'd probably strolled right in.

She didn't hide her annoyance in the least, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to spend the day with my father, but he was here, so I had to come here if I wanted to see him. What?" she was glaring at him. "Did Seth and Leah already eat all the food or can I have some? Charlie invited me to join everyone."

"When? When did my father invite you? He would have told me that."

"When I walked in the door, Bella."

"Oh, well I still have lots of food, hold on and let me get a plate."

She pulled a plate out of the cabinet, but before she fixed it, she had more to say. "Where's Nadia? Why aren't you with her today?"

"Um, she had a family celebration thing in Sequim, not really Thanksgiving related. I gave everyone short shifts today and I have to pick up the slack and patrol, so I couldn't leave. Is that it or do you have more inquisitions?"

She glanced at Seth who was curiously observing them. She had no idea what he was thinking. She should really shut up and not draw attention to her and Jacob, but her mouth was out of control. "Family celebration, huh. Did someone get paroled or something?"

"Bella," Seth sounded as surprised as she was to have said that.

Jacob actually started laughing, "Um no, but close her sister got her divorce finalized. They all wanted to celebrate, he was an asshole or something. I don't know, I never met the guy."

"Oh, sisters' taste in men must run the same, I never knew if that was true or not."

Seth stepped in closer towards Jacob. She was alarmed, what was Seth getting ready to do? "Jake, man...you're bleeding."

Jacob wiped at his head. He was bleeding, she saw it on his fingers. "Can you hand me a paper towel, Bells?"

She walked over and grabbed one, "What happened?"

"I had a little accident this morning."

"It must have been a more than a little one, if you haven't healed up." Seth stated.

"I'll be fine, no biggie. The plate, Bella. Can I fix some food now?"

Seth's phone began to ring, he pulled it out of his pocket, "Oh, excuse me, Bella it's the station, I gotta take it." As soon as he stepped out the door, Jacob was pulling her to the far corner of the kitchen. He was facing the door so he would know when Seth was coming back in.

"I know you're really pissed at me, but it's damn sexy, Bells. Come here." He pulled her til she pressed up against him and he pinched her butt.

"Stop it, what do you think you're doing?" She shoved him as hard as she could but he didn't budge. "Leah, is in there," she mouthed.

"Then we'll be quite he whispered back at her." He leaned in, he was really going for it. He was going to take the chance and kiss her with Seth just outside the door and everyone else in the next room.

"No," she pushed him again and stomped his foot. It actually hurt her foot more than his. It felt like she stepped on a rock.

"Okay, okay...later," he backed off.

She quickly began to pile food on his plate. She handed it to him, "I gave you extra ham, because it seemed appropriate. Now go," she pointed to the other room. "That's where your Dad is and you came here for him, right?"

He smirked, "Later, Bells, we'll get together later."

No, they wouldn't. She'd already promised to have a serious talk with Seth tonight. She had no idea why Jacob was there trying to push her buttons. When they were alone in her room at night, he was always so tender and loving. "Anything you want, Bells. Do you want me here? I'll always abide by your wishes." In the light of day, he a cocky son of a bitch. She hated when he acted like that.

Seth came back inside. "Bad news."

"What happened?"

"I've got to run out to Lowry's."

"The logging company?"

"Yeah, it seems like someone tripped an alarm and no one can get the damn sliding door to budge to go in and check it out."

"But Wesley's on duty, why you?"

"He's on desk duty, that guy's a wimp, he could never open that door. Did you feed Jacob?"

"Um, yeah I made him a plate, he's with the others."

"Well, I guess the old adage 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' isn't true for you two."

"Huh?" was all she could say.

"Are ya'll going to be enemies now?" Enemies, Bella was her own worst enemy. She couldn't believe that is what he took from their display in the kitchen, but it was a relief he saw it that way.

"Come on, I need to speak to Charlie," he took her hand and led them back to the living room.

"Hey chief, Wesley just called."

"Yeah, I got a text."

"Look Seth, it sucks you're getting called away, but you know how Lowry is. We can't mess around with him, he's always looking for a reason to sue or raise hell about something. I doubt there's anyone else that can get that door unjammed."

"Jammed," Bella said.

"Yeah, it seems someone jammed something in the tracks, probably dumb kids messing around."

Bella's eyes traveled down the table to Jacob. His face was buried in his plate and he was pretending to ignore the whole conversation, but she knew he wasn't. Seth was going to have to leave, and she knew for damn sure he was paying attention to that fact. Something even gave her the impression, he might be involved, as shameless as that would have been, she wouldn't put it past him.

Bella walked on the porch with Seth. "I hate that you're going early. You haven't even had dessert," she stuck out her lip like a pouty child.

"I'll be back, Bella." He pushed her lip back in with his thumb,"I promise and save me one of each okay?"

"Sure, how long do you think it'll be?"

"Hopefully, not more than an hour or two. I'll have to drive out there, fix the door, check out everything and hope no one has been inside and vandalized or stolen anything or the old man going to keep me there wanting to file paperwork immediately. Let's just hope it was kids, a prank or something, because that will make it a quick trip.

"Okay, bye Seth hurry back."

She watched him drive away and then headed back inside to face Jacob yet again.

Leah was standing up, holding a piece of pie in her hand.

"Leah, why didn't you get a plate?" Sue asked her.

"Don't need it. Hey, Swan that was a great meal, but I'm meeting some people so I have to run. Well get together maybe next weekend, huh?"

"Sure, Leah. Have fun."

Leah headed out the door, but Sue was fast on her heels. She seemed very annoyed at her daughter the entire day, Bella guessed they were going to have words outside. Jacob was still eating, he had to have gone and made another plate, no way was he taking that long to eat.

Billy was talking to him, but Jacob was on answering with a bunch of "huh's" and "yeah's." Finally, Billy got his attention, "Boy, what's on your head?"

Jacob swiped the redness off his head again. It wasn't right, why was he still actively bleeding?

Charlie spoke up, "Have Sue take a look at that Jake when she comes back in."

Jacob looked at Bella, "How about you, Bells? You have a lot of experience with cuts, can you fix me up?"

"Sure, come on. Let's go to the first aide kit."

He followed her closely up the stairs. She went into the bathroom to dig out the first aid kit. He shut the door as soon as they were both inside and she didn't miss he locked it as well.

He pulled her in close and immediately went to her neck, kissing up and down in the spot he knew drove her crazy.  
"Jacob, knock it off. I'm supposed to be fixing your head, remember. How'd that happened anyway?"

"Okay, but first, kiss me," he demanded.

"No," she turned around, so he could see how irritated she was at him.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to kiss you." She probably couldn't recall a time lately that she didn't want to be kissing Jacob, but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"Come on, Bells one kiss and then I'll behave, I swear it."

She'd give him one little kiss just to shut him up and to fulfill her own need which had certainly made her agitated and aggressive, since he walked into the kitchen interrupting what was supposed to be her first kiss after trying again with Seth. It wasn't a little kiss at all, she was beginning to realize there was no such thing when she was dealing with him. He kissed her breathless in the tiny bathroom and she had guests downstairs, but she did it a couple of more times until the one kiss was more like three very long kisses.

"Alright enough," she pushed at his chest.

"It'll never be enough."

"I swear I liked you better before we ever made out."

"Liar."

"Well, you never acted this way when I was first getting to know you."

"Of course not or you would've run in the other direction," he laughed.

"Yeah, well, that still might be the case. Let me see your head and get to talking. You have a lot of explaining to do."

"About what?"

"This injury and about Lowry's logging company."

"First of all, what? I don't know the Lowry's."

"Jacob, you did something to get Seth away this afternoon, I'm sure of it."

"I did not, Bella."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise I've not set off a single alarm today. That had nothing to do with me."

"Okay, it was a strange coincidence though. What really happened here?" She reached for his head.

She pushed him to sit on the lid of the toilet so she could see exactly where the blood was coming from. "It's really deep, Jake." The cut was at the edge of his hairline, about a half an inch long. "I need to clean it, and see if I can see what's going on. How long has it been bleeding?"

"On and off, maybe five hours."

"Five hours, why aren't you healing?"

"I don't know, I think something's in it."

"Like what?"

"Glass."

"What the hell happened Jake, no more skirting the truth."

"She fucking crashed a glass fruit bowl on my head because I didn't come to bed last night and I wouldn't go with her to her family dysfunction."

"Really, how'd she manage that?"

"I was asleep on the couch. I had been over here, which by the way was a great time. I can't wait for a repeat," he winked at her. "And then I patrolled. I woke up with freaking sharp pain and a hell of a lot of noise."

"Jake, she's a maniac. What if she kills you or something?"

"Bells, really how's she going to manage that?"

"I don't know, she's already attacked you in your sleep what if next time she uses a more deadly weapon. This might sting." She poured a little antiseptic to wash away the caked and fresh blood to get a better look.

"Ouch," he flinched."Well what do you see?"

"About three of four shards of glass, I'll need the tweezers to dig em out."

She started to dig in the wound, the first two were big, so she got them easy, but the last one was tiny and she had to dig for it. "Be still."

"Easier said than done. That shit hurts, you're poking around in my skull, it feels like."

She maneuvered the tweezers a little longer and finally got the last piece.

**Bang, bang bang** went on the outside of the door, "What in the hell is taking so long and why is this door locked? Bella open the door."

She flung the door open, "Sorry Dad, Jake had glass...I was just getting it out," she stammered.

"Why'd you two lock the door?"

"I didn't realize, out of habit, I guess. We're almost done, just cleaning up the wound and I'm going to tape some gauze up there to hold pressure on it."

Charlie wasn't buying it, he gave them both a look that said he wasn't fooled. All the times she had him snowed him about Edward, but it wasn't working any longer. He was suspicious of them.

"How'd you get glass in your head, son?"

Jacob didn't answer but Bella was more than eager to tell her father, the cop the truth. "Nadia broke a glass bowl on his head while he was sleeping, Dad."

"What? Is that true Jake?"

"Yes sir."

"Well, son that's assault. Do you want me to fill out a report?"

"No Charlie, it was a disagreement. I can handle it."

"Do you have any idea how many times I've sat down with a young woman and listened to her justify her partner's temper? Some of those same women ended up in the hospital later or worse, I'm sorry to say. Gender doesn't matter, Jacob...abuse is abuse."

"Charlie, I promise if it gets worse I'll come talk to you, but everything's fine for now."

The three of them headed downstairs, Jake's head was probably already healed by then, but Bella put the gauze to hide it from Charlie and Randy.

She went to the kitchen to find Sue had already done a lot of the cleaning which she really appreciated. She stretched to put away some of the things in the top shelf since they weren't used as often when Jake's voice startled her. "Something I can help you with Deputy Manchini?"

Bella wasn't aware Randy had been in the kitchen too. He hadn't made a peep. "Oh, no, I was going to thank Bella again for having me over."

"Bella, Deputy Manchini says 'thanks' but he has to go now."

"What?" Randy said like he was confused.

She stepped down from the stool she'd been standing on. What was Jacob doing? Did he know the deputy? He was acting strangely.

Bella was going to be courteous and shake his hand even though he'd kind of acted creepy in the beginning, he seemed okay. Jake blocked her from doing that and put his hand on the deputy's shoulder like he was going to lead him to the door. He actually went out the door with him. He must have known him better than she knew and had something to discuss with him. She continued to put the rest of the stuff away. She had Seth's platter of pies tucked away safely in the fridge and a generous portion set aside for Paul. All in all there had been some huge appetites at the table but she and Charlie would still have leftovers for a few days. She thought she made exactly the right amount of everything.

Jake walked back in the kitchen and motioned for her. She followed him out the back door. "What was that all about? You're acting weird...weirder than normal."

"Yeah, well I came in here to help you, but found out you had your tits on display while your arms were stretched up and Deputy Do-wrong was enjoying the show. He was standing there gawking at you with his tongue hanging out not saying a word. The fucker is lucky I didn't deck him right there."

"Do you know him?"

"No, not really. I know of him."

"Well, what did you do Jake? You didn't say anything did you?"

His smile was sinister.

"Jake," she slapped at his back, "He works with Charlie and he knows about me and Seth. You didn't threaten him, did you?"

"What about you and Seth?" he asked. She wasn't ready to get into that.

"Just tell me, Jake. He's not going to report you to Charlie, is he?"

"No, he knows better than that."

"Then you did threaten him, dammit Jake, why'd you do that? Lots of men look at women inappropriately I'm sure you've even done the same. It's in the genes. As long as he didn't grab me or something," he growled at her. "There was no reason to overreact."

"I didn't overreact. I don't want anyone seeing what's mine and having perverse thoughts about it later."

He heart fluttered in her chest. He had said "mine", that was completely inaccurate. She couldn't be his, but when he said that she forgot everything else. He must have known what had made her go silent. His hand held her cheek and he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. "It's true Bells, maybe not the way you deserve yet, but one day, I swear it; you'll be fully be mine and I'll be yours...always."

"Jake,"

"Shh," he kissed her again. "I've got to run Billy home and then I'm patrolling at 7. I'll be over tonight."

"No, Jacob I have some stuff going on with Seth, it's not a good night. You were here last night."

"And what, we can't be with each other two nights in a row?"

"No, it's just..."

"Bella, don't think I'm not keeping track. I've been here three times and Seth has also."

"What? How...how do you know that?"

"We'll talk about it later...I have to go."

He walked back inside before she could say anything else. She had long suspected it, but now she was sure of it. Jacob had a spy that reported back to him. Who was it though? Of course, he could force any one of them to do something for him, but he wouldn't have trusted most of them for that job. He was an imprinted wolf, so all of the others were out. Seth and Leah obviously weren't involved. One of the younger ones, maybe. It couldn't be Embry, she knew that for some reason. There was only one choice, the one with the lowest set of morals. He'd been there earlier acting way too comfortable around her. "Dammit, Paul and damn you Jacob Black," she whispered to herself. He would be by later for that food and she had a good mind to poison it. With what though? She was fresh out of poison, but maybe she could lace it with a laxative or something. She didn't even know if that would work on the wolves and she loved the art of cooking too much to do such a thing. For a second, she thought about how he said he'd never had a meal like what she prepared. He could've been bullshitting her, but she looked closely at his eyes when he mentioned it and she really thought he was telling the truth. Maybe if she tried to be a little bit nicer to him, he'd feel bad about telling her every move to Jake. She was going to use a little reverse psychology on Paul Lahote and maybe it would benefit her in the end.

Bella went back inside to join Charlie and Sue. The three of them relaxed a little and watched some TV together. She'd been exhausted and didn't even realize she had fallen asleep until Charlie shook her awake. "Bells, I'm running Sue home since Seth's not back yet. I'll be home in a few hours, okay?"

"Oh sure, Dad, " she wiped her tired eyes and stood up to hug Sue goodbye.

She went in the kitchen to check her phone.

**sorry it took so long, i got filthy and needed a shower **

**then i fell asleep but ill be back before 8**

It was almost 7 and she didn't expect Paul to be late, so she started to reheat his food. She saw him peering through the back door as the microwave chimed to alert her the food was done. She went to let him in wondering why he was out back. "I just reheated it, have a seat."

"I can eat inside?"

"Of course, did you think I was going to make you eat of the porch?"

"No, I thought you'd fix it to go or something?"

"No, you deserve to have Thanksgiving at the table. That's one of the things that makes it special." She was being super sweet to him for the first time and it wasn't that bad.

He started eating like he was famished for days. "So good, thanks Bella."

"You're very welcome, Paul. So you never get home cooked meals?"

"Never."

"Well, I love to feed people, it's a pleasure. I'm not much of a conversationalist, but food helps me communicate with others. You can come by more often, we almost always have extra. It's hard to only cook for two."

His eyes got really wide, "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Oh okay, thanks a bunch. I'll take you up on that offer."

"Pie?" was her next question.

One side of his lip curled up, he really was a perv. "What kind?"

She pulled out the pie pieces that were left to let him have his pick.

"Can I have two?"

"Of course, Have at it. I'll pack up one for the road too, but you have to answer a couple of questions for me first."

"Um, sure what's on your mind?"

"Why do you follow me around and report back to Jacob?"

"Who says I do?"

"I say you do and I want to know why and I want you to stop. There are laws against that kind of behavior. Should I tell Chief Swan about it?"

He bit his lip and shifted around in his chair.

"Well, I'm waiting."

"Look, they're both my brothers. That means something to me. I grew up in a shitty family and I never had anyone look out for me before the pack. A lot of 'em resent being a wolf, but it saved me. I'd probably be dead now if it hadn't happened to me. As you know, imprinting fucking sucks and I know I talk a rough game, but it scares the hell out of me. It still could happen to me. If Jake figures all this shit out, he might be able to protect us all. We need him to be successful, no one else is brave enough to give it a try. You're helping him which in turns helps the rest of us. He's alpha and he possessive, but he also has very protective nature. He mostly wants to know you're safe at all times. I'm sorry, I stay away as much as I can. I'm not invading your privacy."

"Yes, you are even if you don't peep in my window, it's still not right."

"Well, I don't have much of a choice and no amount of food bribery is going to get me to go against Jake."

"Is it an order?"

"No, but I've had my ass thoroughly kicked by him in the past and I don' t plan to do it again."

"Why did he kick your ass? Let me guess something you said."

"Nope," he looked downright ashamed. She couldn't believe he was capable of that.

"What then?"

"He found out I use to screw Nadia. She was one of my regular skanks before the imprint."

"Oh my God! You're serious, aren't you?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I suggested the club that night because I knew the women were always more than willing there."

"That's disgusting. Did you and Nadia have feelings for one another?"

"Hell no. I know what I am, Bella, but believe me she was the female version of me. She was worse, she had lots of ulterior motives. I've seen her scam an old rich guy in three minutes flat. How can Jake ever trust anything about her? He can't, he's miserable and the fucking wolf constantly chews and scrapes at him from the inside every little bit he pulls away. Jacob has to break this imprint. I've witnessed it, the closer you two get, the stronger the man gets. He's going to do it, I know he is. So you can continue to hate me or you can be my ally. I swear you're safe with me and I have a lot of respect for you for some reason. Believe me, no woman has ever heard that statement out of my mouth, so friends," he held his large hand out to her. She wasn't sure, but she shook it anyway. Maybe she just made a deal with the devil, but she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. She put together generous doggie bag for him and sent him out into the night.

He thanked her repeatedly as he walked away towards his truck. She expected Seth any minute so she went back inside to freshen up.

She noticed Paul didn't put back his chair, but before she pushed it under the table, she realized what was left behind. The chair had tiny pieces of sawdust on the surface as well as some under the table.

She didn't know if she should laugh or cry, so she stood there for several minutes shaking her head in disbelief. "I swear to God, my life was easier when I was blinded by the love of a vampire," she said to herself.

"Bella," Seth called her from the living room.

She ran into his arms, and he picked her up. "Seth, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't deserve you," she cried.

"Hold on, baby. What happened" Why are you crying? It's okay, who upset you?"

She didn't answer, she just shook her head. He walked them to the couch and held her like she was a baby. She sobbed for awhile, but calmed herself enough, so that she could convince him how important he was to her. She initiated the kiss, and it was still so familiar, so perfect. She had to choose him, it was the only safe thing for her.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Seth."

"Really?" he double checked.

"Yes."

She felt his body relax, "I know it's happening so fast, but I mean it. I've never loved another woman. That's what I wanted you to know. I was afraid before. I used women. I was too young to realize how stupid I was being. The first time they took me to a bar, I was still 16, but I didn't look it. It was easiest to spot the ones that didn't care. I screwed a lot of chicks Bella. I hated myself when I was like that and I use to throw up sometimes, afterwards. I was trying to prove to the guys I was a man, but I was still a kid inside. I gave it up after Jake imprinted, and when I met you, I regretted it even more. You deserve better, someone that doesn't have all that baggage."

"Seriously, you're too good for me Seth. I don't care about your past, not at all except, I'm a virgin."

"Um, yeah, I pretty much guessed that."

"Well, I don't want to disappoint you. I get that men have needs."

"For now, my needs can wait, we're going to do this right. We're going to take our time to really work on our relationship. If I have to wait until we're married I will."

"Married?" she sounded alarmed.

"Sure, I always knew when I finally fell in love, it'd be for good. I don't mean anytime soon, so calm down. I don't have a ring or anything."

She stayed in his lap until the lights of the cruiser moved across the curtains. They had sat there in the dark taking turns talking and making out for almost an hour. He lifted her up off his lap, so they could be presentable when Charlie walked in. Neither had time to get to the light, so he walked in to see them sitting there in the dark. He shook his head and walked up the stairs without a word. She hoped her Dad didn't think she was some sort of slut. Sluts slept around with everyone, didn't they, she just loved two men. There was not a single word in the English language to define what she was. It wasn't even confusion any longer, there was no doubt in her mind; she really did love them both.

**~As always, thanks for reading. TC**


	17. Chapter 17

_**Who likes double updates and Paul? I do, I do! *raises hand****_

_**This one is for you Jacobzlover, since you touched on so many things that were important with the last update!**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight is the sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 16

Charlie had gone to his room and Seth left knowing she was super tired. She had practically worked non-stop the entire week with very little sleep. She trudged up the stairs and went to her room to get some pj's so she could grab a shower. He was standing in the middle of the room in total darkness. When she walked in, he flicked on the light and that's when she saw the fury in his eyes.

"Jake, what the hell? Charlie's still awake. Seth was just here. How'd you get in my room?"

He stalked over to her and grabbed her arms a little to firmly for her liking, "Why is his scent all over you? What the fuck have you been doing all evening?"

She jerked her arms back, "None of your business, you need to leave. I told you not to come over."

"Why are you back with him?"

"Leave Jake."

"No, not until you get it through your head, I don't share."

"You're joking right? You leave me every time to go climb into bed with that bitch of woman you live with, but you expect me to be faithful. Get the hell out."

"Bella, I've fucking tried to explain to you over and over. I'm working on it and when I'm free, the last complication I expect is you're not. Break up with him...now."

"You knew I was with him for months."

"That was before. Do you honestly think it's right to let me in your bed at night and pretend you love cuddles with Seth in the evening?"

"No, you're right, I shouldn't do that, so stop coming over and I won't have you in my bed anymore."

"Fucking hell, Bella!" he shouted.

Oh no, she couldn't believe how angry he was, he was out of control. There was no doubt in her mind, Charlie heard, the neighbors probably heard.

"Go, right now Jake before my Dad comes in." Too late, Charlie opened the door.

He looked at each of them. He also looked extremely mad. "I don't want to hear it, but you better leave right now, Jacob. No Dad wants to come in and find a man in his daughter's bedroom, barely dressed." Of course, he only had a pair of shorts on which made it look even worse. Bella was trying to hold in her tears so neither of the men would see them.

Jacob walked past Charlie, down the stairs and out the front door. He didn't even bother shutting it. Charlie followed and slammed it shut after he disappeared in the night.

"What the hell was that? Bella I've caught you with two men tonight. Don't you know better than this? What are you doing?"

"I don't know, Charlie...do I know better? Who taught me the difference between right and wrong? Was it you who I barely ever saw? Or was it Renee who worried about her appearance and boyfriends more than she ever gave a damn about her little girl?"

She was saying horrible things to him and she should stop. He looked completely caught off guard. "I...I'm sorry, I told you I made mistakes, kid, but I never," he stopped a second to take a deep breath. "Hell, Bella. I didn't know, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

And she started up again. "Yeah, I get it, you never knew that almost every month, one utility got shut off because 'oops she forgot' or that I watched cooking shows instead of cartoons, so I didn't have to keep going to bed with my stomach grumbling. I was the weird kid that sat around alone and read, who didn't know how to talk to anyone my own age," she was practically shouting at him now.

"I sent her plenty of money and she worked. Why didn't she pay the bills or buy you enough food? You could've told me, we talked on the phone."

"I was too afraid."

"Of your mother, why? Did she ever hurt you, did anyone ever hurt you Bells?"

"No, Dad, but you were already gone. I thought if I did something to make Mom mad, she'd leave me too."

He wiped at his right eye. "I didn't leave, I swear it wasn't my doing. I begged her to stay, begged her to at least be closer. I'm sorry, I gave up too easily. I loved you more than anything. I still do. I've got a mind to call her right now and give her a piece of my mind no matter how late it is on the east coast."

"Dad, forget it," she had calmed down some. "She got better after Phil, he took charge of the household. She helped me through my depression or she attempted to do her best. It's fine. I'm sorry for what I said. I just don't know what to do with my life."

"Bella, your life seems to be going better. It's just Jake and Seth, I don't understand. They're good men, why are they having this kind of affect on you?"

She started sobbing, like shaking and crying at the same time. She had calmed down her rant for only a minute and now she was losing it again. In all her life, she had never felt such agitation. She had to get it out. "I love them, I want them both and I can't have them. I'm a miserable human being. Why couldn't have just one person left me there when I was bleeding to death? I wish I was dead!" she yelled so loud, it stung her throat. "I can't stand feeling like this, hurting everyone. I'm toxic," she screeched and slumped over the chair because she felt like her legs wouldn't even hold her up any longer.

Just outside the door, a painful howl was heard. Charlie had grabbed a hold of her arm to steady her. "Did you hear that? A goddamn wolf is right outside." He walked her to the couch and started to walk towards the closet.

"Where are you going Dad?"

"Getting my gun."

"No, don't do that. He isn't hurting anything, he's probably long gone in the woods by now."

"It sounded like it was right outside the back door, let me go take a look."

"Please, no, don't leave me."

He sat beside her, "Bells, let me take you someplace. I'm scared, I think you need to see a doctor tonight."

"No, I don't; please sit with me a little while. I'm just overworked, I tried to do too much and I didn't get hardly any sleep last night," she sniffed and wiped her nose on her Dad's t-shirt.

"Okay, but we're calling Dr. Thompson first thing Monday morning. This isn't normal, you almost seemed like you're having a nervous breakdown. Come here, kiddo," he put his arm around her and kissed the side of her head. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'm so sorry what I said. I don't know what came over me, but I don't blame you." She snuggled close to her father. It was a rare moment. Even when she was a little girl, it wasn't often she let him comfort her. She had been so upset a few minutes before, even Jacob heard her outside. She somehow knew that was him and even if she was furious at him at the moment, she wasn't going to stand by and let her Dad go out there and shoot him. It wasn't too long after sitting there in her Dad's comforting embrace, that her eyelids became heavy and she drifted off to sleep.

Bella woke up with her head on Charlie's shoulder. Her neck was starting to feel stiff. She sat forward and stretched, not having a clue what time it was. They'd fallen asleep sitting up on the couch. She felt like she really should go stretch out in her own bed, so she gently tapped him. He startled immediately, "Huh, Bells, you alright?"

"Yeah, but come on, you need to get to bed and so do I. Your shoulder is going to kill you tomorrow sleeping like this. I know it still bothers you."

"Will you be alright?"

"Yes, Dad, I'm exhausted. Let's make a deal, sleep in as late as possible."

"I second that," he said as they made their way up the stairs.

"Holler if you need me no matter what time."

She pulled the covers back and stripped down to her undershirt. She would get that shower in the morning. She picked up her phone, it was already was morning, 2 am to be exact. He had left her countless messages and texts. "I'm sorry, I fucked up, I didn't mean it, please talk to me, I heard you screaming, I'm losing it out here." The list went on and on, but she was too tired to keep reading them. It didn't matter. She noticed one goodnight text from Seth and another text from a number she didn't know.

**hey, its paul, jake messed up if u dont want talk to him, then call me**

"Hey," she whispered into her phone.

"Oh, hey, I didn't expect to hear from you at least not this late, you okay?"

"I know it's late, but would you like to hang out tomorrow?"

"You're fucking with me right?"

"No, I need someone I can talk to, like really spill my guts. Jacob and Seth are not an option along with Leah, Dad, my doctor and anyone I work with. I'm going nuts. I've got so much pent up frustration, I need to get it out. That's why I lost it tonight."

"Okay, do you plan on feeding me?"

"Yes, I'll make you whatever you want as long as you deal with my emotional vomit and keep my secrets."

"Well, when you make it sound that appealing, sure, why the hell not? Wait, one more thing Jake's going a little nuts tonight. Are you like cutting him out of your life for good?"

"No, but I don't want to see him anytime soon. I mean it, tell him I said stay away until I call him."

"Okay, well...goodnight."

"Night Paul, thanks."

She and Charlie kept their word to each other. She rolled over and saw that it was almost 11:30 when she heard his feet on the stairs. What a crazy rollercoaster of emotions she'd gone through. If someone would have told her yesterday at this time she would have found a new confident in Paul Lahote, she would've have thought they were insane. She went from being from feeling disgusted by him to actually wanting to spend time with him because he was the one person she could be open with.

"Coffee?"

"Sure, Dad. Did you sleep okay?"

"I tossed and turned a little more than normal. How about you?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Bella, go ahead and give the doctor a call after we eat. She listens to her voice mails frequently, doesn't she?"

"Yes, in the past she's always gotten back with me."

"Well, see if she can see you today or Monday at the latest. I don't want you to wait. I don't understand why you're experiencing so much rage all of the sudden."

Bella thought back a few days, she had been more and more irritated. It wasn't a hormone issue either, it was almost mid cycle for her, usually when she felt her best. She was faithfully taking her meds, the same prescriptions and doses she'd been accustomed to for quite some time. There was only one thing different that she'd experienced. The partial venom extraction, for lack of a better word. She remembered Kelsee saying her body was use to it, taking out too much at once would cause her to go into shock. Was this a side effect? It actually wasn't all bad, she definitely repressed emotions way too often, but the way she was feeling was borderline violent. She felt like she needed monitoring or something, but how? She had no idea, this would be one of those times she'd have to cover and make up something to Dr. Thompson. It wasn't possible for her tell her what had changed. She was to see Kelsee tomorrow, so she needed to see what she thought about the rage. Today, she'd take it easy. Seth was working a double at the station and she knew he also had patrol at night, he'd barely have a chance to catch a short nap. She'd forbid Jacob to be anywhere near her, so she was planning on getting some stuff hashed out with Paul. She'd let him know she was smarter than he and Jacob gave her credit. She was going to bust him for setting off the alarm yesterday, so maybe he'd stop underestimating her.

"Oh, I think I remember she was traveling out of town, Dad, but it's fine. I'm sticking around here with you today. Oh, and later, one of my friends is stopping by."

"Which friend?"

"Um, you know Paul, right? Jake and Seth's buddy."

"You mean the Paul that chases women, of any age, up and down the 101; from barely legal to middle-aged housewives? That he is known for having a bad temper and routinely is involved in bar fights? Yes, Bells, I know who Paul is, so why don't you tell me how in the hell you consider someone like him a friend?"

"Well, he's kind of a new friend, it's accidental. I know he doesn't have the greatest rep, but we're just going to hang out here. I'm cooking for him. Did you know he didn't have a good home life?"

"Yeah, his Dad was a miserable drunk and abusive. His mom rarely took care of the children, social services was often involved. I think there's an older brother in jail. Bella, do you have some sort of strange compulsion to try and fix people, because from what I can tell; you really need to fix yourself first."

"No, I'm not trying to fix Paul, but there's stuff I can say to him that I can't tell anyone else."

"If he told you that, as your father I need to inform you, its a ploy. He's trying to get in your pants, Bells."

"Dad, oh my god, please don't start. I'm not that dumb and trust me Paul would never try something like that with me."

"Bella, you might be 24 now, but you and I both know you're not experienced with the world."

"We can agree on that, but still you have to trust me."

He shook his head, and left her at the table. Her recent episodes probably weren't helping strengthen Charlie's faith in her, but at least he hadn't banned Paul from the house.

Bella had a slow relaxing day. Charlie went down to the station just to check on a few things. He wasn't gone more than hour. She was simmering the turkey carcass as the base for her spicy turkey soup she was making for dinner. She had taken a long soak while Charlie had been out. She texted Seth just to say hi, she skipped the fact she was having Paul for dinner. She wasn't going to hide it from him, god knows, she already kept enough from him. She just knew he had a busy day and it might take awhile to explain what exactly she was up to with Paul. Which was what? Even she wasn't sure, but Seth might understand how she felt a little sorry for Paul. His description of his life along with what Charlie's knowledge really did make her feel for him. She had a somewhat sucky childhood as well, but for different reasons. Bella wondered if Paul's blatant disrespect for the female population stemmed from never developing trust as a young child? She was doing what she promised Charlie she wouldn't try and do. She was already trying to figure out how to fix Paul. It was so much easier to do that for other people than herself. It was one of the things she loved about Elementary education, a little kid would come to her seeking help and usually there was a simple solution to putting a smile on their face. It might be an extra piece of tape or a new coloring page or helping them form a letter they struggled with. She did feel a sense of satisfaction making others happy, which is why she also loved cooking. The truth was she might be trying to seek out distractions which kept her from dealing with her own issues. She'd definitely put this on the list and discuss it with Dr. Thompson. Bella had decided, for now, she wasn't going to tell her about Jacob coming to her room at night. She would admit she was still seeing both of them and her realization she was in love with them. She had to omit the story about the venom, but she might be able to tell her about Kelsee as a new person in her life. Dr. Thompson always asked if she had met anyone knew or was forming more friendships.

She got a text from Jake right before she expected Paul. She knew he must have told him he was on the way over.

**Im sorry, ill leave u alone, but please let me know when we can meet up and talk**

She'd given that a little consideration and if Dr. T got back with her about Monday, maybe she'd be willing to meet him in a public place after her appointment. No more late nights in her bedroom, since they weren't getting in talks accomplished there. Paul was being let in by Charlie as she skipped down the stairs. He didn't hide his distaste for him, it was written all over the creases in his forehead.

"Evening, Chief Swan, how are you?" Paul said, as he reached to shake Charlie's hand. Who knew Paul could be so charming, and he wasn't just creepy?

Charlie quickly shook it. Bella imagined he squeezed it as hard as he could even though it wouldn't phase him, "Let's make one thing clear. I know all about you Lahote, and you're allowed here tonight only because I'll be here, right there in that chair," he pointed to his recliner, "all night, and I'm watching you."

"Oh, sure sir, Bella and I are just friends. She's a great cook, I'm here to eat and chill out."

"Come on," she grabbed Paul's arm to pull him in the kitchen, "Sorry, he hates you, but it'll be fine."

He laughed, "It's fine, most people do hate me, I'm use to it. It smells great in here."

"Thanks. And I suppose if I'm honest, I use to hate you too."

"Yeah, when did you quit?"

"I'm not completely sure if I did, but probably yesterday."

Bella ladled some soup for everyone and took Charlie a tray with soup and a turkey melt. She and Paul ate in the kitchen.

"If this is going to work, and I'm not going to start hating you again, then you have to tell me why you sabotaged Lowry's lumber company yesterday."

He gagged on the beer he'd just took a swig of. "Excuse me, um, I..."

"Don't lie."

He put down the beer and his spoon. He ran his hand through his hair. "How'd you know?"

"Because you big idiot, you left a trail of sawdust in my kitchen. I hope you weren't as stupid at the crime scene and left behind fingerprints."

"Crime scene, Bella, it was hardly a crime and no I had on gloves. I didn't do any permanent damage."

"He put you up to it. I thought it was him, because the call came in right after he showed up but he carefully worded his non-involvement and like a fool, I believed him."

"It really wasn't his idea, I though of it."

"Why?"

"Because, Jake was excited that for once Nadia was gone out of town. She hadn't spent a night away since the imprint. He was thinking y'all would never get any time alone because of all your company and he knew Seth was coming over again. He was worried you'd give him a second chance."

"I told him I knew how to get you two a little alone time without causing anyone real harm. So yeah it was my dumb idea, are you back to hating me?"

"No, I don't think so since you were honest, but don't pull another stunt like that again."

Paul told Bella something she wouldn't have guessed. He told her how Seth was the weakest with his thoughts. Leah, Jake, himself and Sam had the best control over what they shared, but he said Seth couldn't do it at all. That's mostly the reason, Jacob got so edgy with him from the beginning. He knew every last thought Seth had about her, and every time they made out and how much Seth can't wait for the day she was finally ready.

"So I'm letting you know if you get freaky with Seth anytime soon, Jake is going to know the second Seth phases in and it's going to be a bloodbath."

"Well, Jacob sleeps with Nadia still. We don't talk about it, but I know what it means when he says he can't refuse her. There's something you should know, Seth mentioned marriage last night."

"What? That kid is way too eager."

"He's not a kid and it was sweet. I never expected it, but we're back together and Jake's going to have to deal with it."

"So you're done with Jake, that's what I need to go tell him?"

"Um, not exactly, not yet."

"Then what?"

I don't think I'm over Jacob, he's an addiction for me right now. I still need him, but some day I'll be strong enough to let him go. Maybe you can relate, you sleep with all those women that you don't care about and you can't stop even though you know it's not good for you."

"So I'm addicting to fucking."

"Well, sex addiction is real."

"And you're addicted to Jake sex?"

"We're not having sex."

"Yet..." he added.

"I don't plan on it."

"Prediction, you're giving it up to Jake within the next month or two."

"Wrong," she huffed.

"I'm right and you're baking me cake when I win the bet."

"It isn't a bet, so you can forget about the cake."

"Charlie surely has the TV on loud, is he going deaf or something?"

"No, he's in denial you're in here with me."

"Why does he hate me so much?"

"Other than the obvious, he thinks you're trying to get in my pants."

"Let me paint a picture for you. If I got anywhere close to your pants, Jacob would rip my balls off and watch while Seth fed them to me, so no, that was never my intention."

"That's gross."

"Well, it's true."

"Too bad you're not gay."

He choked on his beer again, "Where'd that come from?"

Bella told him about her Uncle Jeff, he wasn't really her uncle. He was Renee's gay, best friend for years before Phil, back in Arizona. She could trust him and he was always looking out for her because of her terrible track record with men. She told Bella a long time ago, he'd been one of the best things that every happened to her.

"Well, you can forget ever having sleep overs where we paint our nails and shit. That's not my thing."

"Jeff never painted her nails, but he did do her hair. He was her hairdresser, that's how they met."

"Hey, you want to go outside?"

"Um...my Dad might come looking for us. You know he was going after his gun last night. He was going to shoot Jake when he heard him howling."

"I doubt the bullet would hurt us unless it went through our brain or heart. Who knows?"

"I just thought you might want to star gaze. It's a clear night for it and the Leonids meteor shower has been good this month, maybe well catch sight of a shooting star."

"You know astronomy?"

"Yeah, a little bit. I climbed out the window a lot as a kid and hid up on the roof when my Dad was in the mood to beat the shit out of everyone. Looking up at the sky made me feel safe, like I was far away from what was taking place inside the house."

She didn't know how to respond to that, but it was beautiful and tragic at the same time.

"Come on, let's go out back it's darker," he motioned for her to follow him.

Bella grabbed the throw off the sofa and told Charlie where they'd be.

He grumbled and said a couple of warnings, but she went out with him anyway despite Charlie's protests.

She and Paul sat on the blanket for almost 30 minutes before she saw her first shooting star. He'd already spotted three of them, but she kept missing it.

She squealed with excitement when she finally saw one streak across the sky.

He looked around like he was nervous, "Jake if you're out there we're just watching the sky."

She followed suit, "Jake if you're out there...go away, and stop spying on me!" They both had a good laugh after that.

She looped her arm with Paul's and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks Paul. I never would have expected something like this from you. You might end up being my very own Uncle Jeff."

"Just not the gay part okay, I like..." she covered his mouth before he said that word. "Well, you know," he smirked.

"Yeah I know what you were about to say."

"Come here," he brought her close for a hug when they stood up. He gave her nuggie as well. Bella swore if she'd ever had a brother, that's what it would have been like to have him hug her.

"I fucking like you Bella Swan, but not enough to get castrated for you."

"Gee, Paulie, that's really touching, you should write that on a greeting card or something and I'll cherish it forever." The two of them headed back inside to where Charlie was. They had good laugh the four times they'd seen him looking out the kitchen window at them. Paul left soon after, and Bella went to bed with a genuine smile on her face.

_**~ Thanks so much for reading and I love the feedback I've been receiving. Saturday's update scared me, but we're back on track. **_

_**Just so we're clear, Paul is a FRIEND! The double pairing is exhausting, so I'm not adding anything extra. I've planned on this friendship since the first time he threw his arm around her and she tried to shrug it off.**_


	18. Chapter 18

**_~A/N I kept my promise and updated frequently this week, so I hope you enjoyed whether you love or hate what's going on right now._**

Chapter 17

It took a little convincing for Charlie to let Leah take Bella out of the house Saturday afternoon. He had not wanted her to leave the house except for school and Dr. Thompson's on Monday. She had managed to switch her Wednesday time to Monday at 3:00 and she was giving her two hours instead of one. She'd have to take an hour of personal time at the end of the day to make it. Again, Charlie wanted to drive her, but she was finally able to convince him to let her go alone. The catch was Jacob had to stop by the station for a man to man talk, because Bella was honest that he was going to take her to dinner after her appointment. She had no idea what he planned on saying to him, but he probably deserved every bit of the lecture Charlie would give him.

"Seth's going to pick you up," Leah broke the silence.

"Yeah, I know, I told him to wait til the end this time, because he was pretty agitated the last time."

"Is something else going on? Cuz you and Charlie were acting strange. Did I miss something since I left early?"

"Um, yeah...I had a bad night, Thursday."

"That's weird. I thought you rocked the hostess gig. Oh, let me guess. It had something to do with Jake showing up, huh?"

She was silent. Maybe Leah would drop it.

"Does Seth know?" or maybe not. "Listen up, Swan, don't you remember our conversations? This isn't going to end well for you if you keep hiding shit from my brother."

"Leah relax, Seth and I are going to have a long talk either tonight or tomorrow. I swear."

Leah was not very happy with her, it was obvious; but she seemed satisfied with Bella's response. Now that she'd given herself a deadline to make a confession to Seth, she couldn't back out of it. She really had to clear her mind for now, since they were almost at Kelsee's.

Bella was so much more relaxed the second time she walked inside Kelsee's door. Leah had sped away instead of going in with her. Bella hoped she hadn't disappointed her so much that she lost her friendship. Nothing specific had been said, but from the beginning, Bella realized how perceptive she was. It was obvious to her that she didn't have to spell it out for Leah.

"So good to see you, Isabella. Tell me how your week went, were there any concerns?"

"Yes," Bella responded quickly. "I've been so angry. I've lashed out and said things that I never expected would come out of my mouth. Why is that happening and please, tell it's not permanent."

"Well, as frightening as it might feel for you, I think it's necessary. Your body is going through a purging and it's not purely physical. Perhaps, these next few weeks, you should try and limit your stress and also your contact with others. Spend time relaxing, do you ever try meditation?"

"I know a few techniques, it helped me push away thoughts of self harm successfully many times."

"Okay then, dear; it sounds like a good plan and I think I should see you mid week as well."

She was caught off guard by that request, maybe Kelsee was going to try and rush the process, "To try and get out more venom?"

"No, we need to discuss some important things about your future and my past."

She was even more confused, but she still trusted the old woman. "You seem so confident and wise. I don't know why, but I feel drawn to you and I know you'd never lead me astray."

Kelsee held her hands and they intertwined their fingers. She looked at the very hands that Bella felt like were perfect matches to her own and seeing them together proved she was right. The only difference was the skin tone.

Bella sipped her tea soon after and Kelsee wrapped her arm slowly and carefully. She went through the same feelings as before, needing a few blankets and then kicking them off when she began to burn again. This time when she woke up, she was extremely anxious to watch the fire.

"Well, are you ready to light it?" Bella inquired.

"Yes, are you going to be okay this time when you see it or should I wait for you to leave?"

"No, please throw it in."

She abided by Bella's wishes and tossed the strips in the fire. The flame was similar only smaller and it burned out rather quickly.

"Still doing fine," she brushed back Bella's hair from her face.

"Yes, thank you. Before I go, can you answer a couple of questions?"

"Well, I think you should focus on resting only today. We'll talk more in the week, maybe Wednesday."

"Yes, Wednesday's good for me, but please I really need to have one question answered before I can deal with the next couple of days."

"Okay, I'll try my best. What do you need to know, dear?"

"Are you really going to teach Jacob how to break his imprint? I have to know if this is a fantasy he has or you truly believe it's possible."

"No, I would never string along the future chief, a brave warrior like Jacob. He can break the imprint, but we're proceeding with caution. It can't be done with out careful planning and consideration."

"Oh, is it like me with the venom; too fast would make him go into shock?"

She turned her eyes back towards the fire. She was deliberately avoiding looking at her. Bella felt a chill run up her spine and she didn't believe it was related to the extraction. She was afraid to ask but she had to know, "Worse?"

Kelsee shook her head slightly.

"You mean like make him sick or something, it can't hurt him permanently, right?"

"I have no way of knowing, please Isabella. I said no stress, I feel how upset you're becoming."

"Tell him no, you have to refuse him. Please...I've wanted him to be free of her since the moment I knew the truth, but it's not worth dying for. That's what you mean, isn't it? He could die breaking the imprint!" she shouted.

"You and I both know that refusing him won't stop him. At least if I'm overseeing the process, he'll have a better chance than trying something all by himself. He insists we get a hold of the archives, but we aren't allowed. I told him, I'm convinced they were altered long ago, so it won't make a difference. For now, I keep encouraging him to strengthen the resolve of the man; it's the only way he'll survive."

"And he's succeeding because of me?"

"Yes...he came to me before you moved back and nothing worked. The imprint pull was too strong, but since he formed a connection with you, he's made advances."

"So you think I should continue to see him?"

"Isabella, you must chose your own destiny, don't let anyone else chose it for you. Now, that's enough. Seth is near, so go home and rest tonight."

Bella wondered how she knew Seth was near, but a minute later, he knocked on the door. "Ready?"

She stood up and met him at the door. She said goodbye to Kelsee and walked with Seth to his truck.

"You sure you're okay?" he rubbed her back before helping her in the cab. "Was it the same?"

"Just about, but a little easier," she admitted excluding how it was the conversation afterwards that really left her traumatized.

"Well, why do you seem so zoned out? It's like you're a million miles away."

"Seth, you and I need to talk about a few things, but I really need to go home and rest. I'm thinking about sending Charlie to Billy's tomorrow, because I'm not able to host the Sunday tradition. You can come when he leaves, is that okay?"

"Should I be worried?" he asked.

"Please," she rubbed his leg to assure him, "I can't right now, I need to close my eyes."

Seth carried Bella to her bed when they got back to Charlie's. She had pretty much let her body and mind shut down. She wasn't capable of facing the fact Jacob was actually risking his life to be with her. She vaguely remembered Charlie sounding irritated when he spoke to Seth. Who knew what he thought about him bringing her in barely conscious. She heard the voices for several minutes, Charlie's was pretty loud, but she quit fighting and fell into a deep sleep.

There was a very gentle tapping at Bella's door. She'd slept like a rock through the night. "Come in, Dad."

Charlie slowly poked his head through the door. "Can we talk, please?"

"Yes." It was pointless to ask about what, she knew without a doubt what he wanted to talk about.

"Bells, this has to stop. I let you go with Leah and several hours later, Seth brings you back barely lucid. How am I supposed to accept something like that?"

"Dad, I'm a grown woman. Really, you let me go?" She was a woman, but she was starting to sound like a bratty teenager.

"You need protection right now, Bella. I'm well aware of the laws regarding this sort of thing and I don't want to go that route; but you need to know, I'll do anything in my power to assure you're safety."

"I was safe with the Clearwater's, you know they're practically family. I was just exhausted last night. I needed to tell Seth the truth, but I needed rest more. I'm going to talk to him today, so I hoped maybe you could go visit Billy or Sue."

"That'll be fine, I wasn't planning on having people over today. I have a confession to make, I called your Mom."

"Ah, really...I wish you wouldn't have. Did you two fight?"

"A little bit, but I gave up; Renee lives is a fantasy world most of the time. Bells, I can't believe you didn't have any friends from Jacksonville. All those years, going to college and working, you didn't make any sort of connections?"

"No."

"In my opinion, you weren't healing those five years, you were just lying dormant. Now, your life is going at an accelerated pace. You are involved with Jake and Seth and now for some unknown reason, Paul Lahote. Please, God, Bella tell me you don't have feelings for him too."

"No, it's not like that. I finally see potential in him. It's something no one notices because of the attitude he projects. I thought he was merely a filthy womanizer the first few times I was around him. I know I've given you absolutely no reason to trust a damn word that comes out of my mouth, but I really think Paul is good for me. Can you please not make a big deal out of it?"

"I'll try, but I'm going to still keep my eye on it. Are you still going to try and see Jacob Monday?"

"Yes, are you still going to talk to him at the police station?"

"Damn right I am. I don't get it. If he is going all out to be around you, why the hell is everyone ignoring the fact he lives with another woman; a woman, who shows signs of being psychotic. Why hasn't he dumped that bitch? I don't buy that the Quileute tribe arranges marriages or chooses partners that are potentially dangerous. Something else is going on."

She stared at her comforter and picked at a thread that was unraveling on the top of it. She didn't have the bravery to face her Dad. He was indeed smarter than she ever realized when she previously lived there. It would never be her place to share any secrets about the pack. It didn't seem fair that Charlie wasn't allowed to know, but she wasn't sure how he would handle the truth. He might want to send her straight back to Jacksonville.

"So, you're going to tell both of them the truth?" he asked slightly shifting gears.

"I'm going to try."

"How's that going to play out?"

"I have no idea," she shrugged.

Charlie left Bella alone so that she could get up and get ready. She texted Paul before she went downstairs.

**B: im telling them both**

**P: what exactly**

**B: that i love them**

**P: when**

**B: seth today, jake tomorrow**

**P: good luck ur gonna need it**

**B: rescue me if it goes bad**

**P: sure**

Seth showed up around 3:30, Charlie had been gone about an hour. The time alone should have helped her prepare, but as soon as he walked in, all the speeches she'd practiced in front of the mirror disappeared from her memory. She felt tongue tied and nervous. She was doing precisely the opposite of what Kelsee had advised, because this was an extremely stressful situation.

They sat down on the couch together. Seth grabbed her hand before they even got situated. He looked at her with concern. "Are you regretting the other night? Was it too much, too soon?"

"Um, not exactly, Seth. I mean, no I don't regret being with you."

"So you still think you love me?"

"Of course, I do love you but..." she would carefully choose her next words.

"But what?"

"Seth, you were wrong about me and Jake in the kitchen."

His brow furrowed, and he looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Remember, you thought we were acting like enemies?"

"Oh," He got really serious, and she felt his grip loosen on her hand.

"Seth, I've been seeing Jacob for the past week."

"And by seeing, you mean?" It would've have been too much to describe what she had really been up to with Jacob, so she sugar coated it.

"Seth, he and I are more than friends. We have been for awhile. The more I pushed him away, the more I felt the need to pull him back."

He completely let go of her hand then and stood up and walked over to the window. He was staring outside, she could visibly see tremors run through his body. All those times she worried about hurting him, had come true. He was devastated, it was way worse than when they had all had that initial confrontation.

"Why? Why did you try and convince me you really loved me, Bella? I never would've believed you could be that cruel."

She stood up and went to him. Her hand barely made contact with his back, and he spun around, "Don't, don't touch me right now."

"Seth, I wasn't lying. I do love you, I swear it. I love you."

"Then what the hell is going on with Jake? Do you not care about the fact he's imprinted and always will be. He'll always chose Nadia over you. Don't you have one shred of self-respect?"

"Yes, I know, but I can't help the way I feel."

"Which is? No, more lies."

She stared at Seth's sullen expression. It was not a good look for him, a completely foreign look that didn't suit him. "I love him." He stepped away even more. "I don't know if you believe it's possible. I didn't use to believe it was, but it's possible to love more than one person. That's what I'm confessing to you. I love both of you. It might not be right or justified, but it's real. I know since it's happened to me."

"So...what do you want from me, Bella?"

"I want us to still have a chance," was the only answer she could give.

"That's not possible."

"Are you sure?" This time he didn't flinch when she touched him. "Is it possible that I could still spend time with both of you for awhile until I know what's best for me."

"I think anyone that knows the situation or hell even a stranger off the streets could tell you right now what's best for you."

"Okay, maybe that wasn't the right word, but what I meant is; could that work if you both knew the situation?"

"Does he know?"

"He knows you and I are back together and he didn't react well. He and I haven't spoken since Thanksgiving. Paul's been keeping him informed, so I didn't have to talk to him."

"Paul? Since when would you tell Paul anything? You hate him."

"Seth, I found out something about Paul. He's actually a good listener and he doesn't judge."

"Because how could he? He's a total fuck-up. That's all he'll ever be." Bella felt very protective of Paul for some reason. That sounded like something his disgusting father would've said to him growing up. She wasn't going to let Seth talk about him like that just because he was pissed at her.

"Don't say that about him, he might be an extremely flawed individual but he's your brother. Isn't that what you all say it's like being in the pack? He still can change. I think one day, he will; but even if he doesn't, he's my friend."

"So that's what you want right now, Bella? You want to be the pack whore? You want all of us?"

Her heart was getting ready to explode out of her chest, it was beating so hard and fast. Never in a million years did she imagine something so vulgar and cruel could pass from those sweet lips. He had been the purest soul she'd ever encountered, it was why it was so easy to fall for him. She knew she'd hurt him, but he'd gone too far. Tears were beginning to quickly make a trail down her cheeks.

"I can't believe you said that to me," she sniffed.

He looked down at the ground, "I can't either, I should go." He went to the door.

"Seth," she called to him, because she didn't want him to go yet.

"No, Bella, we're just going to keep hurting each other if I stay."

"So you're never coming back?"

"No, I didn't say that, I need some time to think about it." He stopped before he shut the door. "I'm sorry about what I said, you know I didn't mean that." That was the last thing he said before he left.

She ran upstairs to her room so she could bury her face in her pillow and cry. She knew it was going to be difficult to talk to Seth, but it was way worse than she imagined. She cried til all the tears were used up and her nose felt swollen and stuffed up. Charlie was probably going to be gone for several more hours. He'd come back in a heartbeat if she called him and asked him to, but she didn't want to burden him further after the past few days they'd had. She sent out the one word text.

**Rescue**

He walked in her room, about 20 minutes later, she felt movement at the end of her bed when he sat down.

"You know, I realize it's Forks but you didn't even hear me when I came through the unlocked door, called your name and walked up the stairs into your room. You should be more careful."

"Oh, yeah, I usually keep it locked when I'm alone, but I was distracted."

"Was it that bad?"

"Yes, he was crushed."

"So him being crushed is what made you this bad. You look like shit, Bella. Puffy eyes, snot on your face; don't you have a tissue in the house."

"Oh yeah, right there," she pointed to her dresser. He walked over and got her the box.

"Blow." She loudly blew out her nose not the least bit embarrassed that he was holding the tissue for her.

"Thanks."

"Is there anything you need to get off your chest?"

"I don't think he believes that it's possible I love both of them."

"That's understandable, most people probably wouldn't buy that. Anything else?"

"He doesn't understand how I could be friends with you."

"Yeah, me neither." he smiled at her.

"He asked if I wanted to be the pack whore," she started crying again.

"What? That little shit?" he started to head for the door like he was leaving.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go knock his teeth down his throat. I get it, he's pissed, but there's no excuse to talk like that to someone he claims to love."

"No, please don't...stay with me, I don't want to be alone. He apologized before he left. Chances are he and Jake are going to fight again. I don't want you fighting too."

She wasn't sure what she wanted to do, so she decided to go downstairs to the kitchen with Paul. She made them some food and asked him to watch some mindless TV with her.

"Sure whatcha have in mind?"

"Um, I don't know. I've got some episodes of The Bachelor on the dvr, will you watch with me?"

"The fucking bachelor? You watch that shit?"

"Yes, my Mom got me hooked on it when I lived with her. I know it's quite a disgusting display, but I still watch it."

"No wonder you have relationship issues," he messed up her hair.

"Cuz you, Paul Lahote are an authority on relationships?"

"I know enough that putting a group of attention-seeking women in a mansion while they vie for the affection of one douchebag, just so they can get a stupid rose does not constitute true love." He was shaking his head at her, "And don't forget they're all plowed with copious amounts of alcohol during the whole process."

"Oh my god, you watch the show."

"No I don't...maybe I've seen a few clips here and there," his voice trailed off.

"Doesn't matter, we're going to watch it so I can have a tiny bit of an escape."

They watched several episodes until Bella fell asleep on Paul's shoulder.

Bella woke up to her Dad telling Paul it was time to go.

He got up and cleared off their snacks from the coffee table.

"Talk to you later, text if you need a rescue again," was what he told her even though Charlie was in the room with them.

She felt the need to explain herself even if he wasn't going to ask.

"He helps, Dad. I don't know how or why, but he does."

"Seth was mad?"

"Very."

"He wasn't too harsh was he, because he's entitled to be angry, but I won't stand for my daughter being disrespected."

"No, Dad; it just wasn't a good afternoon, so Paul came by to cheer me up." It wouldn't do her any favors for Charlie to know what Seth had said. She fixed the two of them some dinner and she headed to bed fairly early so she could read and face tomorrow. "One down, one to go," was the thing she said before she turned off the lamp.

Dr. Thompson wrote feverishly in her little book. Bella had spilled her guts for the most part. However, she wasn't telling a soul about her private times with Jacob, that was just between them.

"Bella, something Charlie said was very relevant. You did lie dormant for 5 years. Everything going on right now is new for you. I might not agree with how you're handling it a lot of the time, but I still respect your feelings. I really believe you love both these men. Some people might not believe such things are possible, but I'm not one of them. You finally were honest with Seth and that was a huge step."

She went on to discuss Kelsee with Bella and thought it sounded nice Bella was getting to know someone from a very different background. She thought she could benefit from a lady who'd lived a long life. She sounded fascinating to her and she didn't even know the half of it. She wasn't quite sure what to make of Paul. Bella thought, "Get in line."

"Female friends and girl talk might be helpful," was some more of her advice. Bella thought she was juggling enough for the time being. She had Kate at work, and Kim and Leah, at least she hoped she still had Leah.

"Also Bella, I'd like to address your anger issues. I'm recommending you see a family practitioner. You need some new blood work. Perhaps your body chemistry has changed for some reason and some of your prescriptions need to be altered."

Bella hated blood tests, but she was use to having a few tubes of blood checked each year. They always checked her blood count, her liver, thyroid and kidney functions. Who knew maybe one day, when all the venom was gone and her body adjusted, she might not need all the medicine.

"So here's a list of doctors I recommend. Let me know who you choose and I'll forward your records as soon as you have an appointment. It's a good time to plan your next well woman, as well. You are contemplating a serious relationship, so you should go over your options with a trusted OB/GYN. Oliver is my recommendation, since I know you prefer female providers.

Bella chewed on her lip and wondered how to respond to that. It was something she'd put off a very long time.

Dr. Thompson must have noticed her hesitation. "Bella, you've had a well woman exam, before, haven't you?"

"Um, no."

"Really, I'm surprised Renee never encouraged that. Well, you're 24, sexually active or not, it's time."

"My Mom made the appointment for me when I was 19. She was certain Edward had raped me or something and that's why I was so traumatized or that I'd been pregnant and he made me have an abortion. She grasped at straws in the beginning, so I pretended to go and gave her a made up good report."

"Wow, you seem to have some deep-rooted issues with your mother, but we're out of time. Maybe we could talk more about that next time."

Bella walked out to the parking lot to find him leaning against her truck. He was truly a perfect, specimen of a man. It shouldn't even be possible that he wanted her, and she wished for one second she could have appreciated how lucky she was without worrying about all the complications. They hadn't seen each other in four days, and she was just a tiny bit tempted to run to him. He would have caught her, and lifted her up and spun her around. She had no doubt about that, but since their last moment together was a furious interchange; it seemed inappropriate. She approached with caution instead, but as soon as she got close he did open up his arms with his palms facing upwards. He was asking, so she walked into them hesitantly. He encircled her with his arms and put his face against her hair. She could hear him breathing deeply, taking in her scent. He'd told her how much it meant to him. Her arms made their way around his waist after a slight delay. He didn't say anything at first, but finally he pulled back to look at her.

"I'm so sorry, Bells. I mean it, I'm a stupid son of a bitch. Please, tell me I haven't ruined it."

"Jake, let's get in the truck. Do you want to drive?"

"Sure, sure," he opened the door and she slid into the middle spot. It might be his first clue that she was still willing.

He started the truck, he asked to see her upper arms.

She didn't know why, but then he said, "If you had a bruise, I was going to let Paul kick my ass. He said you didn't, but I had to see for myself."

"No Jacob, you didn't bruise me."

"Well, I had no right to ever hold onto you like that. I shouldn't have come to your room when I was so close to losing it."

"I'm not going to tell you it's fine, because it's not, but I believe that you're really sorry, so I hope that we can come to an agreement tonight. Where did you want to eat?"

"Oh, it's a Italian place. I really like their pizza, but they have pasta, or salads. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, anythings fine, is it quiet?"

"Very, I even called ahead to make sure we get the corner booth. The owner knows me."

It was only a couple of blocks from her therapist's office.

When they went inside, the owner came out and greeted them. He had a strong accent like he hadn't grown up in the states. He seemed to really like Jacob.

"Oh, Signore Black. I have the special table for you. Where have you been? I not see you very much anymore."

"Busy, working..." he simply stated.

"Mr. Castelli, this is Bella."

"Oh, IssaBella, I'm so happy you're here. Is this your first time here?"

"Yes," even though she wasn't Italian, she liked the way her full name sounded in a traditional Italian accent. Jacob gently squeezed her hip when he said it.

He promised to bring them out a special appetizer since it was Bella's first time. He sat them in the darkened corner of the restaurant. Bella wasn't sure Jacob would fit in the tiny booth, but he did. They were sequestered away from all the other diners. She blushed like a tomato when Mr. Castelli referred to it as the lover's table.

She felt a tiny bit twitter-patted at first, but then she was struck with a terrible thought. Did Jacob bring Nadia to this restaurant? Was this lover's table theirs? If it was, she felt like getting up and running out.

"Bells, the answer's 'no'."

"What?"

"She tried the pizza to go once and she hates it, but it's my favorite. She likes this crappy place on the other side of town. Remember he said he doesn't see me much anymore?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, does that ease your mind?"

"A little bit."

He reached under the table for her hand and rubbed his thumb along the top of her hand. "Tell me what I can do to make it up to you."

"Jake, it's not that simple."

"You're so beautiful in this light...well, you're beautiful in any light or darkness, but I really like the way you look right this moment."

He was smiling so sweetly at her and his continued to rub the soft part of her hand. She stared at his face even though she worried it was putting her in a vulnerable state of mine . She was struggling to believe that this was the exact same man that had ranted and raved in her bedroom a few nights ago.

"Have you ever been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder?" She asked as a joke, but she bet she wasn't the first to wonder.

"No, why?"

"Oh, no reason."

A waiter brought them a plate of caprese. Bella hadn't been eating hardly anything since Thanksgiving, so she was happy to try the appetizer. She left it up to Jake to order his favorite, since he knew what was really good, but she did ask for a salad.

"So was Charlie rough on you?"

"Yes, but I deserved it. The man does love his daughter and I can't fault him for that. It's just hard to be sincere when I have to lie to protect the pack. I'm sure it's confusing to him, especially since; well, you know Bells, but I don't want to talk about her. I've been issued a few warnings, but I'll earn back his respect, I promise."

"Jacob, I need to tell you a few things."

"Okay, but let's wait. I want to enjoy this date with you first before we get into all the complicated stuff."

"So, you think we're on a date?"

"Lover's table, holding hands and..." he leaned over to give her a gentle kiss on the lips. "Yeah, date."

She shook her head in disbelief, having no idea how he'd turned everything around so quickly. She reached up to pull his neck to let him know she needed another kiss. He was more than eager to give her what she wanted and it was easy to pretend they were completely alone in the hideaway booth. The waiter cleared his throat to interrupt them. Their food had arrived. They really enjoyed the meal and each other's presence for the next half hour or so.

She'd given him the real date he wanted. She wanted it too, but it was his idea. It was time to face the truth. "Jacob, I told Seth the truth about us."

"Well, that's good. It's better that way. I'm sure he was hurt, but better now than down the road when he became even more attached."

"Jake, it's not that simple. I still love Seth."

Even in the dim candlelight she could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Jacob, I know we've never said it, but I thought I was pretty obvious. I...I, um, you," she wasn't making any sense.

"I know Bells, I love you too...so much."

She let out an exaggerated breath, "You see why it's so complicated. I love you Jake." He grabbed her face and planted another kiss on her mouth.

"I love you, Bella Swan."

"But I meant what I said, Jake. I also love Seth. That is why I've been going crazy these past few weeks."

"How'd he react?"

"He's furious."

"So that's it, he broke up with you?"

"I don't know, but I asked if I could try seeing both of you for now until I figure it all out."

"What?" he was confused. "That'll never work, so no, I'm not agreeing to that."

"How different is it than what's going on right now?"

"Bella, you and I both know that you love me more. It isn't going to ease Seth's pain to perform this experiment."

"Who said I love you more? Love is love; I don't know what to do right now, I need some more time."

He rolled his eyes. "So you'll make a schedule, Seth gets Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday? I get the extra day of the week, of course, but what if he wants a Saturday?"

"No, I didn't plan on a schedule? Jake, you are starting to annoy me. And while we're talking, do not under any circumstance come to my room anymore."

His hand slipped down to her jean clad thigh and he started to move it up and down. "You don't mean that. I know how much you enjoy those visits. I don't want them to stop," he breathed his hot breath into her ear.

She had loved every second of those late night encounters, but it wouldn't be fair to Seth and it clouded her judgment. Not to mention, that she felt like shit every time he left her to go home to Nadia. If he wanted her to be patient and give him a chance to break his imprint which she was now even more stressed about, then he had to abide by her request.

"Jacob, I'm even more worried than ever about the imprint."

"That I can' t break it? I can. When are you going to believe in me?"

"Not that, but Kelsee said it's going to be dangerous."

"Bells, she's going overboard about that. Come on, she's old. Old people worry too much. I'll be fine and when it happens, I'll be yours. That's the reason, I don't get what you're doing with Seth."

It didn't do them any good, to keep going back and forth. Jacob had at least been calmer than Seth, but he didn't hide the fact he thought this was the stupidest idea in history. He went up front and paid the check and had a short talk with the owner. He told Bella he expected to see her often now. She wondered what Jacob told him about the two of them. He seemed to believe they were a real couple. Why wouldn't he? They'd acted like it since they walked in the door.

She was completely caught off guard that Seth was waiting on the porch when Jacob pulled in the driveway. She was extremely anxious about getting out of the truck. She knew Charlie would have zero tolerance for another fight.

She and Jacob both walked towards the porch ready to face whatever he had for them.

"If this is going to work, I want some rules," Seth stood up to meet them on the lawn.

"Rules, like what?" Jacob replied.

"For starters, no sex," Seth stared at Jacob.

"Why are you directing that to me? You have way more notches on your belt than I do, bro?"

"Jake," she wanted him to shut up, but she couldn't help but wonder if that was an accurate statement. Seth didn't deny it, he just looked pissed. It didn't matter to her, but she truly expected it had been the other way around.

Seth was shaking his head, his jaw was clenched. One more word from Jake and Bella knew he'd snap.

"Next rule's mine: No fighting. I swear it, I'll never see either one of you again, if you do," she let them both know.

"So, where do you we go from here?" was Seth's next question.

"It's not that different, Seth. I was hanging out with you: having dinner, watching TV, going out and you knew I would go on hikes and drives with Jacob. It'll be like that, I guess."

"Only difference is I didn't know you two were being romantic on the outings."

"We weren't."

"But you will be now, that is what I have to accept now, right?"

"I'm not forcing you to accept anything. I just want to be honest, Seth. I will tell you the truth, Jake kissed me the day he told me about the wolves. So to answer your questions, yes, he and I have romantic feelings towards one another. I know he's bound to Nadia and it should have been enough to keep me from getting involved, but it didn't." She turned to Jacob next, "Jake, I didn't like being separated from Seth. You thought I was going to break up with him for good, but I missed him. I truly do have strong feelings for you both of you. I know this is an odd request. It's downright crazy and I don't intend to tell anyone else what we're doing. It stays between the three of us, so are you both in agreement? Are you going to try this for awhile?"

"Okay, I'll try," Seth surprisingly spoke up first.

"Sure, Bells, if this is what you need right now. I just don't want to lose you," Jacob added.

"Now the only thing left is for the two of you to shake on it." They both turned to look at her with frowns on their faces. She watched the two big, tan hands slap together. It wasn't a friendly shake, by all means. It looked extremely painful, but the deal was sealed. Who knew how long it would last or what would happen. Call her crazy, plenty of people had over the years, but she was so happy. She truly believed it was the right decision for all of them.

**_Questions, comments? I love to hear from all of you. Will it work or will it get even more messy? So the 25 chapter goal has officially been tossed out the window, there's no way I can pull that off. It might be a little bit of a wait for the next update. I have to brush up on some history and come up with some beautiful Native American names, because we're going back in time. It's time you all know why imprinting sucks. It wasn't suppose to, so what altered the destinies of these Quileutes protectors?_**


	19. Chapter 19

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 18

Paul was sitting on the edge of Bella's bed and she was stretched out on her stomach next to him while he surfed the Internet. The bedroom door was wide open per Charlie's request. Funny that she'd just gotten two men to essentially both agree to be her boyfriend, but she was spending her first evening since the agreement, with Paul.

"Don't you dare go on any porn sites on my laptop," she warned him.

"Please, I make my own porn, so nor worries. I don't need it."

"Now you on the other hand, perhaps should do some research, since you're in a polyamorous situation."

"I am not. I'm just being honest about my feelings. Jacob and Seth are giving me the freedom to sort them out. We aren't having a threesome, so get that ridiculous look off your face. You're making me feel dirty."

"I never would have pegged you to be so kinky, but damn." He was purposely trying to make her uncomfortable.

"Stop it, Paul," she rolled over and sat up, shoving him to knock that smirk off his face.

"I'm only joking with you, hummingbird. We all know this is going to fail miserably. I give it three weeks tops."

"And then what do you think will happen?"

"I don't know, something bad," he sounded ominous.

"What should I do?"

"You're really willing to take my advice?"

"Maybe," she trusted him even when it didn't make sense.

"Well...I can't give it. I do want Jacob to break his imprint, but Seth doesn't deserve what you and Jake are most likely going to do to him."

Bella knew she had sworn them all to secrecy, but Paul knew the entire story. He didn't count as the outside world.

"Why'd you call me 'hummingbird'?"

"Um, no reason, just you're small and I read something once about the hummingbird spirit animal, it fits you. Why? Do you not want me to?"

"No, I like it, but I need a nickname for you."

"That's easy, 'sexy beast', you can call me that anytime."

"How about, No! I'll think on it, and one day, the perfect name will come to me," she pictured finding it in a novel, but who knew.

Paul told Bella he had to get going. He said he'd spent all his days with her recently and then he said, "I have places to go, and women to see and do."

She didn't want to get into that conversation with him, so she would see him Thursday for the tree shopping. It seemed with her schedule this week, she wasn't going to have time for Jacob or Seth til the weekend. Even though they shook on the deal, neither of them had made an attempt to see her, so she wasn't sure who would ask first to hang out. What if neither of them did? She was taking advantage of the few days to get herself centered. She'd been all over the place, and suddenly she felt like she could take a deep breath and relax.

Bella came in from school the next day and started dinner right away. Charlie could reheat it, she didn't expect him in til after 5 and she'd be at Kelsee's. She had a feeling she might be awhile and she regretted never telling Charlie about her. She was going to leave a note, and say she was visiting a new friend on the reservation, and not to worry.

She tried to imagine what Kelsee might tell her. She guessed she was going to tell her how she came to be involved with the Quileute tribe. She had this eerie feeling she was also connected to her but how, she didn't know. She went inside to find Kelsee pouring two mugs of tea. "Not the tea," she thought.

"Come on Isabella, it's good, not what you've had in the past."

Bella sat at the very tiny table with her and tentatively tasted the tea after sniffing it first. It had a slight herbal smell, nothing pungent at all. They both took a few sips and Bella smiled, "Thank you, it's really nice. So, you have a story for me?"

"More than a story, I'll reveal all of it, but Isabella, you can't tell anyone what I reveal to you. It has to stay between us."

"Okay," she instantly agreed, not knowing what might be said. She wondered if she'd be tempted to run and tell Jake or Seth, but she wouldn't be able to do that.

"Drink a little more tea, and then I think you should lie back on the cot. I'm going to help you visualize the story. Some of it will not seem possible, so I need you to have an open mind. You must clear away all other thoughts, and I know you are very preoccupied with your two spirit warriors, but I'm trusting you."

Bella sipped her tea and then went to the cot. She looked back at Kelsee who was pushing a chair next to her. "Go ahead and lie back and give me your hand, your left arm, not the one tainted by a cold one."

Bella took a deep breath and stared up at the dingy ceiling. Kelsee started talking, but as she did, she ran two of her fingers up from Bella's wrist and along each of her fingers on her palm. She started at her thumb and moved on to each finger in a very unique and uniform rhythm.

"It's something my aunt taught me long ago, it'll help all the words stick and you'll remember everything I say, because it's important you never forget any of it."

Kelsee was right, there was absolutely nothing else on her mind except the sound of her voice.

"How much do you know about your ancestors?"

Bella wasn't sure, it wasn't something she had thought about, but once she thought she remembered Charlie mentioning the Civil War. "I think maybe after the Civil War, they ended up in Washington," she answered.

"It was right before, in the year 1860. Frederick Swan embarked on a journey with his wife and young son along the Oregon Trail. He'd made the tough decision to leave his brothers and sisters, as well as his ailing mother to try his luck in the current gold rush that had been taking place up and down the Pacific since gold was first discovered some 12 years prior."

Bella was still focusing, as Kelsee continued rubbing patterns on her palm. Was Kelsee some major history buff or something? How'd she know details like that, when she was certain Charlie or even his parents never knew that much? She briefly took her focus off the ceiling and turned to look at Kelsee's bright eyes.

Kelsee nodded and told her, "Keep listening, this is merely the background." Bella went back to her original position.

"The Swan's didn't have a whole lot of luck with striking it rich, so Frederick had to find work, especially since a second child was on the way. He had farmed back in Virginia with his brother's, but he got offered work in the logging industry. The demand for timber was high due to the various gold rushes and the continuous influx of settlers."

She told Bella they were content in their new home and soon a daughter was born. Everything was good for them until Frederick started to get word from home. His brothers were begging him to return to join them in their fight. Washington was still a territory at the time and the war that had broken out seemed like a world away except for Frederick, who'd learned that he'd lost his eldest brother in battle. He made the decision to leave behind his wife and two children. Evelyn begged him not to go, but he was confident she'd be taken care of, since they were close to several of the nearby neighbors and he knew they'd watch out for his family. He promised her he'd return soon.

Bella had listened attentively for awhile, but she finally interrupted. "How do you know all these details?"

"Patience, Isabella," she stopped rubbing her hand. "Do you need a break?"

"No, I'm sorry. Please continue."

"There were a lot of tribes in this area as you probably know from the history books. Relations between settlers during that time were mostly amicable. One day, Evelyn had an encounter with a Native man, he'd helped her after he saw her take a tumble down an embankment." Bella smiled hearing that clumsiness ran in the family. "He'd been hunting in the area. She wasn't frightened by him at all, in fact she couldn't stop thinking about him. She'd had the same affect on him. He made frequent trips near her cabin in hopes of catching a glimpse of the beautiful blue-eyed woman. It was something that would have never been accepted by either side. He was a transplant into the Quileute tribe. His original tribe was Chimakum but they'd been absorbed into other tribes or had died out. Even though the white settlers were friendly to the Quileutes, there were expectations especially where women were concerned. Evelyn and the young man, Iiniwa began a secret and forbidden affair. It went on for several months. Just about the time Evelyn discovered she was with child, she got word; Frederick had possibly been killed. His brother Thomas had lost contact with him for weeks. She was extremely distraught for many reasons. First of all, she had loved her husband and was devastated he might be dead, but she had no idea how she could ever explain her pregnancy. Frederick had clearly been gone at least 9 months and she couldn't have been more that a couple of months along. Then there was the fact that as soon as the baby arrived all her sins would have been revealed. Evelyn was light skinned with light brown hair and blue eyes. This child would most certainly have traits of the father and she wouldn't be able to hid it."

Bella felt sympathetic towards Evelyn. She too knew how conflicting it was to love more than one man and hopeless romantic she was, she knew she must have truly loved Iiniwa to ever take such a risk. Kelsee said they did their best to hide the pregnancy. It helped that a hard winter hit that year and most people stayed indoors as much as possible. Iiniwa saw to it that Evelyn and her children had plenty of wood and food to last them during the cold months. A few weeks before her time, a telegraph came through from Frederick. He was not dead, but had been a prisoner. He assured her he was coming back to them, but it would have to wait til spring, because the entire country was suffering a harsh winter. That was it, Evelyn had to make a decision. Iiniwa said it deeply troubled her, but she felt there was no other choice, she could not dishonor her husband and children. When she went into labor, Iiniwa brought his sister to attend to her. His sister had also given birth only a few weeks prior. She was a recent widow, as well. Her husband had come down with a mysterious fever and died suddenly a few months before her son was born. She had been in seclusion and some people didn't even realize she'd already given birth. Her name was Nukpana and as soon Evelyn birthed her daughter, she entrusted her to Nukpana. Evelyn refused to even look at the child.

"That was the last time Evelyn and Iiniwa ever saw one another. Nukpana came out of seclusion weeks later with her twins, a son named Keme and a daughter, Kelesoyala whose name meant sparrow, in the winter solstice," Kelsee stopped the movement of her fingers and waited to see if Bella understood.

She knew the minute the name came out of her mouth. It wasn't possible, but in the world Bella lived in, she knew possibilities didn't matter. "You, Kelsee, you're Kelesoyala, aren't you?"

"Yes, Isabella, we have the same blood running through our veins."

"But how? What year was that?"

"1863."

Bella didn't do the exact math, but she said, "How can you be 150 years old?"

"That's the rest of the story, it's where it gets very painful for me. Do you want to hear it all now?"

"Yes, of course, I do. You can't stop there. Please continue."

Bella was trying to figure out what the relation she would have been, something like a great times six Aunt. She wasn't sure. Most people didn't trace their ancestors back so far.

"I was accepted as Nukpana's child, I looked much like her except for the eyes. There were some very weird superstitions about that and I didn't understand why til I was older. My aunt taught me she had certain gifts which many people believed were from bad spirits. Her name even meant 'evil' in some tongues. It wasn't long before I found out I inherited those gifts. The reality was, I had even more powers than my aunt. Both she and my father, who I had to pretend was my uncle, forced me to keep them hidden. I had a gift of sight into the future. I had no control over it, but I saw many things before they happened." Bella thought about Alice and wondered if it was like that. "My aunt taught me never to interfere with the visions. I could cause damage tenfold, if I ever tried to intervene. I had to accept whatever the visions were."

"From a young age I had a companion. He and I were best friends. His name was Kiyiya and I knew one day he'd be my husband. His father was the spiritual leader of the tribe and he didn't trust my family. He knew we were originally outsiders, and for some reason he was very suspicious of me and my aunt. His name was Cheveyo. My father told me to stay away from him, he was always trying to ask me questions and to get a good look at me. I didn't care, I still was going to be with Kiyiya. One day, when Kiyiya was 18, he became very ill. He had a raging temperature and I was worried, knowing what had happened to my uncle. It was even worse when I realized he'd been hidden away somewhere. Honiahaka, a very tall and muscular man that acted like he was some sort of gift to the whole tribe, was the one who'd hidden my love from me. They disappeared for weeks. I tried to use my gift to figure out where they were, but the only vision I ever received were wolves, which made no sense to me. A few weeks later, my father told me that Kiyiya was coming back but I had to stay away from him. Of course, I didn't listen. Once I got the chance, I went out in the night and met him in one of our secret places at the stream in the woods. It's actually really close less than a mile from where this shack is."

Bella continued to listen carefully. This whole tale was the most beautiful love story she'd ever heard. She'd never even read anything similar. It had so much going on, she was completely enthralled. She had no idea over an hour had already passed while Kelsee told her love story. "So you two found each other and reunited. He had a fever, had he phased? Is that what happened?"

Kelsee chuckled, "Yes, child; Kiyiya was a spirit warrior. I found out there had not been a pack in a very long time and that meant danger was soon to follow. We met up at the stream and when I saw him, I barely recognized him. He'd practically grown a foot and was solid muscle, but when I saw his face, I knew he was still my one and only love. As I made my way closer, I noticed he was caught in some kind of trance. He actually fell to his knees before me, so I joined him on the ground. I didn't know what had happened, all I knew is that I loved him even more. After a few minutes, he lifted me up and carried me away to a private place. He and I sealed our bond before I even realized what it meant. He was the most caring and perfect lover any woman could ever desire."

Bella said it first, "Imprint, you were his imprint."

"Yes, and it was beautiful. We were so in love even before, the imprint only intensified it."

The imprint sounded amazing to Bella, like the story the elders told. Why had it not been like this for Jacob and his pack?

Kelsee started to change her demeanor. She looked sad soon after telling Bella about the imprint. "Cheveyo hated the fact we were imprinted and there was nothing he could do about it. He sent spies to follow me around and one day, the truth was found out about who my mother really was. It was so stupid of me, but I'd gotten my father to tell me a little about her since I knew I could never meet her. Cheveyo summoned me to his dwelling and threatened me and my family. He said he'd found out the Swan family still resided in Forks and he would out Evelyn as well if I didn't leave and go far away. No one told me what would happen to the wolf without his imprint. I feared for my family, the tribal elders didn't like my aunt already. I also wanted to protect the Swan's. I didn't want them to suffer such shame on my account, so I made a plan to leave but only for a short while. I thought I'd get back to Kiyiya soon and we'd still be together."

That is when the first of many tears escaped Kelsee's eyes. Bella somehow knew something bad was going to happen. "After several weeks passed, Kiyiya become weak and sick. His father tried all kinds of remedies on him but nothing worked. In the meantime I started having dreams of a man and woman with red eyes. They began to become torturous and I myself was starting to feel ill, so I finally found transport back to the Quileutes. I had been hiding out in Canada. It took a long time to find my way back, but when I did, I found the tribe in mourning. Several people had been slaughtered by the two cold ones from my visions. Honiahaka was finally able to destroy both of them, but Kiyiya was one of the casualties. Instead of being strong like his alpha, he'd been incredibly weak because of our separation and the female vampire crushed him in her grip. He died despite all his father's healing powers. He'd even called on my Aunt and her pauwau powers to save him, but nothing worked. He blamed me and put a curse on me that I would walk the earth for an insurmountable amount of time, so I could suffer even longer than a normal lifetime. He added that I'd not die until finally an appointed soul would come into the world and I would be released. Of course, I wanted to die the second I knew my love was gone, but it couldn't happen. I don't know where Cheveyo got his power from since he'd always accused Nukpana of being mixed with dark spirits. The reason I knew I couldn't die is I tried, many times and nothing killed me. Any destruction I caused myself would instantly heal. I wasn't going to let them all get by with what I believed was all their faults. I blamed the entire tribe for never truly accepting my family. I worked long and hard with my aunt and finally derived my own curse. She encouraged me to seek my revenge."

"I stood upon the highest elevation of the reservation and swore in the moonlight one summer night. 'From this day forward, any young spirit warrior that is intended to imprint and find his perfect mate, will forever be cursed'. I yelled towards the sea. 'May she bring him heartache, misery and despair. She will not be a blessing but she will curse the wolf all the days of his miserable life'. If I had lost my imprint, my perfect mate; then I didn't want any of them to be happy."

Bella pulled her hand back. She had to digest what her ears had just heard. How was it possible? Kelsee was helping them, but now she was trying to come to grips with the fact it was all her fault. "How could you?" She pushed herself up and got up off the bed. She felt her breathing pick up. "Jake, you're the reason he's stuck with Nadia. What are you trying to do? Are you really wanting to help him or is this a trick?"

"Isabella, remember when you felt the connection to me? You said you knew you could trust me. You can. What happened was so long ago. I was a grieving young woman, practically a child still. I've been trying to find away to rectify what I'd done for many decades. I revisited the Quileutes many times because of it. I was there during Ephraim's pack. That's when I knew what I'd done was so wrong."

"So his pack had bad imprints?"

"Yes, two of them were imprinted with horrible mates for life."

"Why didn't the council tell the pack the truth?"

"That's how I knew someone changed the archives. The real truth wasn't recorded."

Bella couldn't understand how Kelsee could come in and out of different generations, so she asked, "Can you alter your appearance?"

"Yes, I can appear any age I need to in order to fit in. I haven't made myself a young woman since I was around in Old Quil's and William Sr.'s time. I've grown old naturally since then, but left for years until Billy and Harry were young men."

"Do you look like me at all?" Bella asked.

"A little bit, but I favor my father's side more. I don't intend to look that way ever again until I'm reunited with Kiyiya in the afterlife. The look on your face shows how disappointed you are, but I believe you are the key to making this all right."

"Me? Why me?" Bella couldn't imagine why Kelsee thought such a thing.

"Because many years ago I had a vision about you as an infant. I came back to the area and saw your mother Renee heavily pregnant with you. I hung around hoping you were the soul, that was predicted; but alas, you were born and I lived on. That is why I now believe you will bear the child that will release me from my earthly prison."

"No, that can't be right. I'm not even sure I'll have kids. I love them, and that's why I teach, but I swear I'd probably be a terrible Mom. I have too many issues."

"No, you're wrong."

"How do you know? Have you had more visions?"

"I can't tell you that. I told you I don't intervene in people's futures," she reminded her.

"Then why are you telling me this story?" Bella thought this sounded exactly like Kelsee was trying to mess with her future.

"It's an exception I decided to make after I found out you were infected with venom, but this is all I intend to reveal, besides visions aren't greatly detailed."

"My friend, Alice...um Alice Cullen had visions, she said they were subjective and people could change their minds."

Kelsee made a painful face hearing about Bella referring to a cold one as a friend, "Your cold one most likely interfered with the outcomes, I have no doubt her visions were not to be trusted. Who knows the trouble she would have brought you if you'd stayed mixed up with that family."

"So what if I do have a child one day, what will that mean if he or she is the one?" Was Bella finally ready to believe she could help the pack?

"I'll be at peace and the curse will be broken."

"Will the imprints be broken as well?"

"I don't believe so, those will have to be deliberately broken, but the ones yet to be made would be the true imprints."

She was trying to understand what that meant. "None of these imprints were meant to be?"

"No, that doesn't mean they're not real, remember they're the curse; the blessing exists somewhere if I'm no longer here. You must know one more thing, I came back to stay after this generation of wolves were coming into the world. I saw how large the pack would be, never had it been anywhere close to ten. I hoped more than ever the curse would be broken."

"Quil is imprinted to a young child, for God's sake and Sam is guilt ridden because of Emily. She holds it over him. Jacob is with a psycho bitch who was a con artist and a whore. I swear to you though, you're cursed is messed up because Kim is a good person. She might not be very intelligent or attractive, but she is devoted to Jared. She doesn't try and manipulate him." Bella felt the need to describe the dire situation in detail.

"Maybe there's some truth to that, I've met the young girl. She did, however, cause much misery for Jared in the beginning. He had dreamed of a very different life, but you're right. I don't believe he has any intention of trying to break his imprint. Samuel and Quil have already spoken to me. If their alpha is successful, they intend to follow his lead."

"Will anymore imprint?" it was a question she really needed answered.

She avoided looking at Bella again. It was one more thing she didn't want to interfere with.

"Well, do you know?" she pleaded.

"Three more will imprint," she whispered.

"Three, how's that possible? It's suppose to be rare. That's half of who's left. NO!" Bella yelled knowing how huge the odds were against Seth. She even worried about Paul. None of them deserved it, and since Kelsee was alive; they'd all be cursed imprints.

"Who? Tell me which ones, you owe them that."

"No, maybe I do but I don't know, only the number. I don't know the wolf," she looked out of breath like she might collapse, but Bella knew she would be fine since she couldn't die.

"Kelsee, I really do feel for you. It's horrible what you suffered, but I still don't think I'm going to help. I'm nobody...I'm not Quileute. I'm under the care of a doctor for mental illness. I've made a mess of both Jacob's and Seth's lives. I can't help this pack. I'm sorry." She felt like she should leave, but instead she asked, "Can I ask you something else? I know it's irrelevant to what's happening right now, but I want to know."

"Yes, what is it, my dear?"

"Did you ever love again?"

"No, never."

"You never married or had children?"

"No."

"But what about Quil's grandfather? That's what Leah said, that you had an affair with him. That's why he's so against you, because you tried to ruin his marriage."

Kelsee couldn't help but laugh, "That old fool wishes, he spread those rumors. I never gave him the time of day expect fishing for answers about who doctored the history books for the tribe."

Bella decided it was time to leave. She had so much stuff to figure out. "What am I suppose to do with this information?"

"Keep it to yourself and stay true to your heart. Isabella, the choices you face will be difficult, but you can't let fear rule over you or we'll all continue to suffer. I promise I will still continue to help Jacob and any one of the young men that want to break their imprints, but there are still no guarantees."

"And I suppose you can't tell me who I'm suppose to choose?"

"No, I cannot."

Bella left her distant relative feeling extreme sorrow for the life she'd been dealt, but there was still some residual anger. All this was her fault, or maybe it was Cheveyo's fault; but he was no longer around to blame. There were many others at fault: Evelyn, and Kelsee's aunt. She'd obviously misguided Kelsee at one point in time and how could Eveyln Swan give away her baby daughter without even seeing her one time? Bella went to bed that night thinking about those three men who still had yet to meet their imprints. She still doubted Kelsee, that she, herself, had any bearing on the future. She wasn't about to go out and purposely get pregnant, hoping that it might be the child to break both curses. She had to keep this all to herself; that much she knew. It wasn't easy to fall asleep that night and many more restless nights would follow as Bella struggled with what path she should take.

_**~Thanks so much for reading. Whew...this one tired me out. Love to hear your thoughts. Did anyone expect this? **_


	20. Chapter 20

**_Thanks so much for the responses to Kelsee's story. _**

**_Angst warning: this whole fic has that warning, but the end of this one is well...you'll see._**

Chapter 19

Bella was waiting for Paul and Kim to pick her up. She had given Paul a stern warning about how he was to behave with Kim. In the past, he had been quite mean to her. Although, he was usually sly about his insults and Kim didn't always get that he was making fun of her. Bella let him know, all that would change now that she and Kim had become friends. He promised he'd be on his best behavior, but Bella knew Paul's best was less than gracious.

She had slept terribly, barely slept was more accurate. How was she supposed to process everything she'd learned, all the while keep it completely to herself? During the school day, Seth made contact. He left a few messages, and she thought he seemed like his normal self. He wanted to know if she'd come over Saturday. He meant to his house, not Sue's. He wanted her to see the progress he'd made during all his free time. She called him on her break and he reminded her that he still did not have a working kitchen so she volunteered to bring a picnic basket. They'd share an indoor picnic in December, since it would be the 1st of the month. He said he'd take her to Kelsee's later that day, which they both hoped would be her last treatment. She was looking forward to see the last bit of venom burn in the fire. He also mentioned that the last few weeks of football season were important since the Seahawks were in the playoff hunt. How could she forget such a thing? Of course, she hadn't because she heard her Dad on the phone with Billy rambling on about it a few times a week. She promised she'd be up to have their small informal get together. She had enjoyed most of those Sundays, but the prospect of the season dragging on didn't excite her as much as it did the men. He also said he invited Randy, but he immediately declined. Seth thought maybe it was intimidating for him to be at Charlie's. Bella knew otherwise, as to why Randy would probably never go over there again. Who knew what Jake had said to him?

Kim had texted and said they were just leaving the reservation and would be there soon. Her next text came from Jacob. He asked her out for Friday. Could he and Seth possibly have gone over a schedule without consulting her? She thought it was suspicious that Seth called for Saturday and a few hours later Jacob asked for Friday, but it didn't matter. As long as they weren't fighting, she was okay with it. Of course, she wasn't sure about how Jacob asked her out. It really wasn't asking at all.

**tomorrow...ill pick u up at 7, wear something nice**

If they were going someplace, she knew it wasn't around Forks. He didn't tell her where. She was contemplating asking but she heard Paul out front honking, so she dropped it and decided to be surprised.

"Hey, guys...I'm excited. I've got the space for the tree all ready and the decorations are sitting out."

Kim was excited when she said, "I decorated last night."

"So you already have a tree?" Paul asked her.

"Yeah, I have to do artificial because I have allergies," Kim responded.

Paul said, "Of course you do," and Bella poked him in the ribs the first of many times.

Kim eyed them curiously, "Huh?"

"I mean, that sucks...sorry." Paul gently poked her back.

Paul drove and Bella sat in the middle. The farm was a good 30 or 40 miles from Charlie's and the drive was lulling her to sleep.

"You sleepy, hummingbird?"

"Yeah, I had a restless night."

"Oh, well, you can rest your head on my shoulder. If Kim wasn't here, I'd even let you lie down in my lap," he stated with both eyebrows moving up and down.

Kim was starting to look distressed. Paul was having a ball carrying on with her. Bella knew Kim wasn't going to gossip about them, but she didn't want her to be misled.

"He's joking, Kim. I would never do that."

"Um, sure, I know," Kim forced herself to laugh.

The second poke hit between Paul's ribs.

"I didn't know you two were such good friends. How'd that happen?"

"To be perfectly honest, Kim. Bella, who I affectionately call my little hummingbird knows how to treat a man."

Kim's mouth slightly hung open. And she didn't respond.

"He means, I cook, Kim. You know how these guys are about food?" Bella quickly swept away the innuendo he'd left.

"Oh, okay."

"Hey, I'm offended. You're making me sound shallow, hummingbird. I'm with you for many other reasons."

Next poke and her finger started to hurt. She'd have to be careful or she'd jam the joint. "You are not with me," she clarified.

"Yes I am, I'm with you right now." Smartass, he didn't know when to quit.

"Forget it, can we change the subject, please? For the record Kim, Paul and I are friends. I'm sure you are the first of many that won't exactly get that, but we're just friends. Next topic, I think I know what tree I want."

"Oh, which one?" Kim asked.

"I want the grand fir, most likely 7 feet since Charlie doesn't have especially high ceilings. He grows them, right? I checked out his website," she asked Paul.

"I guess so, why that one?" was his response.

"It's known for being very fragrant almost like citrus and it has a really rich, green color." Bella turned to Kim. "What about your allergies, Kim? Can you still help me decorate it?"

"Oh sure, it's fine. I only start having a problem if I'm around it all the time. My parents use to get so mad at me for sniffling and sneezing during the holidays. They had real trees, and told me it was all in my head when I was growing up. Jared was the first one that figured it out, when I moved in with him. He tossed our first little tree out the door when he realized the affect it had on me." Kim always had such an affectionate look in her eyes when she spoke of Jared. Bella was happy that Jared would never break his imprint with her.

Soon, they arrived at the farm and Bella found her perfect tree in about 15 minutes. Paul was happy to cut it down himself. What a show off, she thought as he made look so effortless. He was definitely all man. She had once felt sorry for all those women used by Paul, but now she kinda felt disdain for them. She doubted a single one of them deserved him even if they were only providing him with a purely, physical encounter. She wanted more for him and wondered how long it'd take to convince him to give dating a try. Could she convince him to find someone that was willing to be in a relationship with him, a real relationship that didn't include sex in the first half hour of being introduced? It was a goal she'd set in the recesses of her mind, but she couldn't let him know or he'd run from her and she'd never catch up to him again.

Paul got the tree situated on the stand and then left so Kim and Bella could decorate in peace. They worked tirelessly for the next two hours before Jared arrived to take Kim home. It was late for a work night. Charlie had already gone to bed. He was very pleased with their hard work even though he hadn't seen the finished product yet.

* * *

Bella had an especially good day at school, the principal informed her she would be the replacement Kindergarten teacher when Kate left after spring break and she'd finish out the year in that position. They were even doing a slight pay adjustment for her as well, those last couple of months. She wasn't sure what she'd do with the extra money. Charlie rarely let her spend any of her own money. She'd offered many times to pay a utility or give him rent money. He always refused. She mostly spent it on groceries and books. By the time the summer rolled around, she'd have a nice little savings account built up. If she stayed in Forks, it made sense that she should get her own place before the next school term started. She'd soon turn 25 after that and it was time. Charlie would put up a fuss because of how much he worried about her health, but she'd still be over all the time.

Bella had decided to go with a belted black and teal dress her Mom sent her on her birthday. She'd never worn it before, it wasn't exactly Kindergarten attire. She had a long, dressy black jacket that went with it, since the dress had a border of black flowers at the hem. The dress had a scooped neckline and was a little shorter than she felt comfortable in, but she added black lace tights. Renee had sent her heels as well and they would have gone nicely with the outfit, but she grabbed a pair of dark gray flats instead. One step at a time; the clothing was a little out of her comfort zone, and the heels would have pushed her over the edge. She sat down with Charlie while he ate. He stared at her a while before finally bringing up the obvious. "Where you going tonight, Bells? You look...um you really look nice."

"Thanks Dad, I don't know. Jake planned something."

He shifted his mustache side to side, she knew he wanted to ask more questions.

"Is that it? You and Jake are going to date and he still refuses to leave that woman?"

"Dad," she exhaled. "It's not like that."

"It isn't, then tell me what it is."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know, okay. I'm going to spend some time with Jake tonight, that's it."

"Tell me more about your new friend," he conveniently changed the subject.

"Oh Kelsee, yeah she's very interesting."

"Kelsee, the old woman?"

"Yes, you know her?"

"I know Billy and Old Quil call her a trouble maker."

"Really, Dad, she's extremely old," Older than Charlie would guess. "How much trouble can she cause?"

"And what do you have in common with her?" was his next question.

"More than you'd imagine," was her cryptic answer.

"Okay, I guess that's nice Bells. I'm sure you make her day, when you visit. So many people forget the elderly. Nothing sadder than when I get a call about one that's died at home, all alone. Sometimes weeks pass before anyone notices. I've had more than my fair share of calls like that."

A soft knock was soon heard at the front door. Bella jumped up, kissed her Dad on the cheek and grabbed her jacket off the back of the couch. She took a deep breath, smoothed out her dress and slowly opened the door like it wasn't a big deal. She was face to face with the most handsome version of Jacob Black she'd ever seen. How was it possible, he could make himself look better, but he did.

"Bells, you look great," he said as his eyes traveled from the top of her head down to her little, gray flats. Even his gaze warmed her up, she didn't even have touch him to feel his heat.

"Jake, you look amazing." She wondered how he'd walked out of the house looking like that without Nadia losing her shit. He didn't appear to be bleeding anywhere, so maybe she hadn't seen him. He had on dark navy pants, and a burgundy button down, collared shirt. The perfect number of buttons were left unbuttoned to expose that section of his chest that every woman would love to run their hand along. His sleeves were also rolled up to a three-quarter length. Jacob must have realized the two of them had stood in the doorway staring at each other long enough.

"Ready, to go?"

"Sure," she told him. She waved and yelled, "Bye Dad."

"Bye Charlie, we'll be back at a respectable hour. Have a good night."

Charlie simply waved and didn't answer either of them

Jacob had brought his Charger, he helped Bella inside and the two drove off.

"Okay, enough mystery. Where are we going Jake?"

"There's an art walk tonight in Port Angeles. The gallery sponsors it for all sorts of artists, up and coming and some well known ones. There's food and wine, we can take our time and walk around looking at the booths. I think some are set up in the houses near by. It all takes place in the harbor district."

It sounded very different and exciting, and something she never would have expected from him. However, she did know he was creative and loved to draw. Her thoughts started to quickly run a muck, as usual. She was doing it again and he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Bells, you can't do this every time we're together. Okay? The answer is 'no' again. She and I have nothing in common. We've never been to an art walk. So you can stop asking every time."

"Well, you have at least one thing in common." Ugh, her stomach soured at that thought.

"Really, Bells...please don't do this."

"I'm sorry I can't help it. I don't know what I'm suppose to say. I know you aren't with her by choice, but it doesn't lessen the pain of knowing you're with her each and every night."

Jacob tried to explain it a little better to her, "It's like I'm in segments. I've learned to detach myself from my body; and the wolf, when I walk through the door. I'm there only because of the pull. Trust me, there's no intimate or tender moments any longer. That only lasted a short while in the beginning. You coming into my life changed everything." Was it suppose to make her feel better his sex life wasn't particularly intimate?

"Just not enough. Your wolf doesn't like me."

"No, that's not it at all, Bells. That's what's so strange, yes, his need for the imprint is evident; but when I'm with you, he's very content. He doesn't fight me. When I was first imprinted and other women came around me or hit on me, he became agitated and I'd immediately leave those situations. That's never once happened around you."

"Jake, I love you...I'm sorry I started off our date with an inquisition. I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted to take me home."

"No, of course not; I love you too Bells." He rubbed her hand. She had forgotten he'd grabbed onto it when she first started their strained conversation.

She made the decision to push down the doubts and insecurities she had about Nadia. If she was going to give Jacob a chance, and believe in him like he asked; she had to quit bringing her up. She was so glad she finally did just that, because the art walk proved to be one of the best times she'd ever spent with Jake. They took their time and visited every single display. "You really love this, don't you, Jake?"

"Yeah, I wish I had more time to spend on my own stuff."

"I think you should enter one of these someday. What do you do, just pay an entrance fee?"

"I don't know," Jacob had a lot of excuses. He didn't think he had enough pieces and he wasn't formally trained. Bella thought he was very talented and she missed watching him draw. The sketchbook was still in her truck. He told her he'd been working on some things at Billy's, but she'd have to wait til another day to see them. Jacob hinted around that he wanted to go somewhere, so they could be alone, but she didn't think they should.

"No way you might lift the ban?" was his next question.

"No, Jake, you can't come to my room."

"Okay, I understand," he was like a pouty teenager.

She laughed, "No you don't."

"I know, I don't. God Bells, I want to be close to you like that again." The frustration was evident in his voice.

"Jake, we were moving too fast."

"You know what I think?"

"No telling."

"I think it's you that you don't trust, it's not me."

He was right, but she denied it.

Jacob had her back on Charlie's porch at 11:30. They spent a little time sitting on the porch together. He let her know Charlie was upstairs and not spying out the window, so she relaxed and let him keep her warm. It started out with his arm around her, but then he used his mouth which always heated her up. After a few minutes they were in an full embrace enjoying passionate kisses. "Still no?" he whispered.

"Yes," she whispered in a haze of lust. How would he take her seriously?

"Is that a yes?" his large hand moved up and down the lacy tights until it started the journey up her dress.

"No," now she was confused. Why did his hand on her leg muddle her thoughts?

"Which is it yes or no?"

"Jake, not tonight," and that was her final answer.

"Another night?" was his next question.

"Do you ever stop?"

"Nope, I keep going and going. One day you'll know what I mean." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and moved his hand a little higher up

She couldn't help but laugh at his persistence. It was cute and sexy, but she wasn't giving in. She removed the offending hand, the one that was making her doubt her decisions. She gave him one last quick peck on the lips. "Night, Jacob; this was a great night. I'll talk to you soon."

She went to bed and of course, she was second guessing her refusal to allow Jake to come up when Charlie was asleep. She missed how his skin felt against her own and how his mouth felt when it left her lips to travel to other places, but she couldn't. It wasn't right, the rule was no sex and if she kept getting horizontal with Jacob it was bound to happen. She was not prepared mentally, emotionally, or physically. She'd finally done something she was supposed to do, she had not one, but two doctors appointments the next week. She would see the lady doctor on Tuesday and the family doctor on Thursday. Dr. Thompson was giving her a break saying the goal had been to go to twice a month, but Bella could be squeezed in if she needed to see her.

He sent a text.

**i miss u so much it hurts, i can still come back there**

**hurts, jake? what kind of line is that?**

**its not, im really hurting**

She waited about 10 minutes, and he didn't reply back.

**jake, r u ok?**

**um...idk**

Before she had a chance to respond, he sent one more message.

**i'm going to kelsees i feel weird, but im ok...go to sleep**

She got the feeling, he wasn't messing with her any longer. She started to feel worried, so she left her phone close to her ear in case he had anything else to say.

The vibration woke her up in an instant, she'd barely closed her eyes. She swiped not paying attention to who it was. It was the middle of the night, so she assumed it was Jacob. There was no answer, just a click. She looked at the call log: Unknown number.

A couple of minutes went by, unknown number was calling again.

"Hello," someone was there listening to her, but not answering. Click, another disconnect. What if the call was about Jake? Kelsee did not use a cell phone and if she did she wouldn't hang up on Bella.

Next call came ten minutes later, "Hello, don't hang up. Um, this is Bella. Is that who you're trying to call? Is this about Jake? Please answer me." Click, call ended.

Bella then tried Jacob, she didn't know why she hadn't thought of that sooner, but he didn't answer. She left a message to call her back no matter what time and she sent a text just to make sure.

**jake r u really ok?**

A text soon came through, but it wasn't Jake.

**Bitch...where is he?**

Now it made sense, the hangups from the unknown number, but who would have given Nadia her number? Jacob must have truly gone to Kelsee's and not home. She twisted the covers for a little while in her grip. She was pondering her next move. She didn't owe her a response. What would she say anyway? She didn't know where Jacob was for sure and he wasn't with her. She thought her safest bet was to ignore the crazy woman.

**u do know i will come over there**

Bella looked at the time and it was 3:25 in the morning. She was feeling a little panicked because Nadia probably meant it, she would come over. Maybe she was already outside right then. Why would Nadia believe anything she said? She finally made the decision to respond.

**I don't know where Jacob is. stay away from me, pauls here and he wont let you anywhere near my house**

**figures...whore**

**one day, when u r alone...when u least expect it**

Bella immediately called Paul. He mumbled a few incoherent words, before he asked, "What is it, hummingbird?"

She started crying when she told him the whole story, Nadia had her so wound up and she still didn't know what had happened to Jacob.

"Chill, I'm on my way. I'll stay close to the house tonight. She's not that dumb, Charlie's there, she won't come after you."

"What about Jake? Can you find him, I think he's sick."

"No, we don't get sick and he can take care of himself."

He assured her he'd protect her the rest of the night and he'd find Jacob for her in the morning. The phone calls and texts all stopped and sometime after 4, she finally drifted off. Bella finally got some sleep. She woke up after 10. She immediately grabbed the phone and searched through it for messages from Jacob, but there were none. Paul said he was going home at 7 because he told her Charlie was awake. Seth had said he had planned on coming to get her at 11, but Charlie said she was still asleep.

**do u still want to come over?**

She didn't know what to say. She wanted to go to Seth's, but what in the hell had happened last night, she questioned her own mind. She could go downstairs right that second, and show her Dad the text message. He'd clearly view it as a threat and send someone out to talk to Nadia. Charlie would want to make a report, she knew it. For some reason, her Dad was obsessed about filing reports. She thought that would only escalate the situation, so she made a rash decision and she hit delete on all of it. She ended up telling Seth to come over as planned. She would go on over to his house. Paul was right, Jacob probably needed to get away. It was a good thing that he was able to leave Nadia more and more. Maybe Kelsee had told him to run. He might have stayed wolf all night and that's why he didn't answer her. Maybe he went home and fell asleep and that's why Nadia's harassment had stopped. All the wolves stayed connected, if something was really wrong with Jake, Paul would have heard by now, so she got her stuff together and headed into the bathroom to grab a shower.

Bella packed up the picnic she'd planned ahead of time. Charlie went to take care of some work. She had decided that everything must be fine, but in the back of her mind, a little bit of worry still lingered. Paul had probably fell asleep because he didn't respond to her questions after waking up. She decided to get it off her chest when she got to Seth's or she'd be preoccupied the whole time.

* * *

"You're pretty quiet," he stated the obvious.

"Yeah, sorry," she said. She'd been staring out the window. She had been anticipating seeing the house since Seth told her how much he had done since she was last there. She wanted to be there with him today, but she couldn't shake the feeling, something was wrong.

"Did you have a bad night? Didn't you and Jake go to Port Angeles?"

She turned her head away from the passing trees she'd been staring at and looked at Seth. She was right, he and Jake had discussed her.

He shrugged, "He and I cleared the air...we discussed a few things. You know, Jacob and I have been friends a long time, we don't hate each other."

"Um, well we had a nice time. We went to the art exhibits in the Harbor district. Jacob took me home about 11:30 and then he sent a few texts. I think something happened to him. Nadia started calling and texting me very late. He never went home."

"How'd that bitch get your number?"

"No idea."

"And what are you not telling me?"

"Nadia was kind of threatening."

"Over the phone or in a text?"

"She only hung up a few times when I answered, but she said one day I'd be alone, she also said she would come to my house."

"Let me see that?"

"I deleted everything," She admitted.

"Why, Bella? Charlie's a cop, so am I. You should have let us read those messages."

"I didn't want to blow it all out of proportion. Nadia hates me, I get it. If I get her in trouble with the police, it'll just create more complications."

"Well, I wish you wouldn't have done that. I'm guessing, maybe Jake needed to be alone, although I didn't feel him phase in anytime I was out," so that threw out the theory Bella had that he stayed in wolf form to run off his frustrations.

"Paul said the same thing. What if he got hurt or is sick?" she still felt like that was a possibility.

"That's not the case, Bella. Remember, we don't get sick. I'm sure he's fine. I doubt he stayed out all night."

They pulled up to Seth's house soon after and she knew what Seth and Paul had told her must be right, but the bad feeling refused to flee.

Before they went inside, Seth said he would send a message to Sam and see if he'd heard from Jake. They walked in the small cottage and Bella was blown away. He'd finished the floors and all the walls.

"Wow, you've been busy."

"Yep, Quil and I did the floors. Jared helped with the walls."

He pulled her by her hand and gave her the tour again. It was so different than the last time. When they got back to his room, she was shocked to see he already had a bed.

"It was delivered last night," he looked like he was about to burst, he was so happy.

"So are you sleeping here, is it official?"

"I guess, I slept here a few hours after my shift."

Bella, felt a little uncomfortable staring a Seth's new bed. Was it true? Both Paul and Jacob had mentioned Seth expects her to move in with him eventually, but that line of thinking was very premature. He had this place long before she came back to town.

They headed into the kitchen next. Seth said he wanted her input since that was her domain. She paused to think about it again. He was leaving subtle hints. Did he mean the kitchen in general was her domain or that particular kitchen?

"Sure, what would like to know about setting up the kitchen?" He already had the perfect layout, he just needed new cabinet doors, countertops and appliances.

"Why don't we make a plan to go shopping for the kitchen in the next couple of weeks?"

"Um, yeah, we can do that," she agreed not sure what she was getting herself into.

Seth went on to describe some of the plans he had for painting and he wanted a black leather sofa in the living room. Bella's face crinkled at the mention of that. It was all wrong for the space, but again, it wasn't her house; she didn't want to tell him what to do. She opened up the lunch she'd brought and they started to eat. She couldn't help that she pulled out her phone about every 15 minutes still wondering if Jacob or Paul would check in.

"Hey, if I get you a t-shirt, will you help me start painting?"

"Okay, I didn't realize you had paint already."

"Yeah, for the bedroom, it's a steel gray. Do you like that color?"

"Sure, Seth, whatever you like. It's not too dark, is it?"

"Nope, but you'll tell me if you don't like it, right? I can change it if you want."

"No, I'm sure it'll look fine. Gray's pretty neutral."

After an hour of painting, Seth complimented her, "You're really good at this. For some reason I thought you'd be messier," he joked.

"Why, because I'm clumsy?"

"Yeah I guess." She really did like the color he'd chosen. She pictured some artwork in slick, black frames on the walls. He could have white linens with a darker gray comforter or maybe some teal pillows, even rich browns would have looked good. Her mind was letting her imagine what it would be like if this was also her room, but she couldn't say that to Seth. It wouldn't be right to get his hopes up. She needed to lighten her mood asap.

She had the sudden urge to fling paint at him, just for fun. He had the bed and the floors covered up with plastic, it might have been fun. As soon as he spotted the mischievous glint in her eyes, his phone went off interrupting her plan. He looked down at the message, the smile he had disappeared off his lips in an instant. He looked very serious.

"We've got to go, here," He took the roller out of her hand. "Let me clean up the paint stuff, while you change and get cleaned up."

"What is it?" she was alarmed, knowing it had to have been about Jacob.

"You were right, it's Jake he's sick, really sick. Sam wants us all at Kelsee's."

Bella felt like all the blood had fallen to her feet and she stood frozen still for a second. She thought they had all assured her, there was no way Jake could be sick. Since phasing none of them even caught the common cold.

She remembered those last couple of texts, he was hurting and felt weird. She should have let him come inside with her. What if this was somehow her fault?

Bella went into the bathroom to change back into her own shirt and to wash the paint smudges off her hands. Seth was out front finishing up with the painting supplies when she went out to let him know she was ready.

They soon took off to Kelsee's which was probably only a five minute drive. When they pulled up, most of the pack was stationed outside. That place was so cramped, Bella didn't think more than two of them could fit in there comfortably.

"What's the deal?" Seth asked Sam.

Paul walked up to her and swung his arm over her shoulder. That arm had repulsed her the first time it touched her, but now it was one of her greatest forms of comfort.

"Is he okay?" she asked.

Paul shook his head, "no".

Sam tried to explain it even though they weren't sure. "I think he's trying to break the imprint and it seems like it's killing him."

"What? Why would he do that? Kelsee said he wasn't ready. I need to go inside," she pushed her way through the sea of large bodies that were lined up on either side of the door.

She looked back once more at Seth and he nodded, "Go on, Bella it's fine." He was being so understanding and she knew this must be difficult for him in more than one way.

Bella gently tapped on the door, "Come in, Isabella." Kelsee sensed her.

Bella walked inside to see Jacob on the cot, the same one she'd been on the past few visits. He was covered in the biggest pile of blankets she'd ever seen and he was still shivering."

She walked over to him and touched his skin. She jerked her hand back and looked at Kelsee, "How? He's freezing, why is he so cold?"

"The wolf and man are being separated," Kelsee informed her.

"Why? Tell him to stop this. He's not strong enough, why did you let him do this before he was ready?"

"I didn't, he came to me last night. The process started on its own. He said he didn't know what was happening."

She knelt down next to the cot so she could speak to him, "Jake, it's me. Jacob can you hear me?" His eyes briefly opened and moved but then closed again.

"He can hear, you need to keep talking to him."

"Jake, don't do this. Please." She looked to Kelsee for advice. "What do I need to tell him?"

"Tell him to stop fighting the wolf," she advised.

"Jake, did you hear that; stop fighting! Everything is going to be okay. I'm still here. Please, you have to accept your wolf like before. You still need him." She placed her flattened palm over his chest. His normally strong heartbeat, was extremely slow and weak.

"It's been that way for over an hour. That's why I called for his pack. Maybe the alpha in him will sense their need for him."

Bella wiped the tears off her face. She wished he could give her one sign that he was trying to come back. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and spoke softly to him. "Please Jacob, I love you...wake up and talk to me. Say something incredibly obnoxious and cocky...say anything."  
She felt movement under the blankets. His chilled fingers came up to her cheek. He wiped some of the tears away, but those were quickly replaced by new ones.

"Bells," was barely a whisper on his lips.

"Yeah, hey Jake...tell me what can I do," she took his hand and held it between her own two hands. He'd always shared his warmth with her and now she was trying to repay the favor.

"I told you I can do this."

"No, Jacob, you aren't ready. Please stop fighting your wolf."

"He's gone, I don't know where he is?" Jacob was so weak, he looked lost and confused, but he hadn't given up hope that this would actually be successful. He was the only one that thought that.

"No, he's still there and your pack needs you, I need you. Please Jacob, this isn't working."

"No, I'm not going back."

Bella pulled away from him. "Fine, then I'm leaving. I'm not watching this."

"Don't go, Bells. Trust me." He always made it about trust, but it was so much more than simple trust or even love.

"You're going to die Jacob, do you understand? You heart is barely beating, you're practically freezing." She knew what he needed, and she hoped there was enough time. His eyes closed again. She went outside and saw the pack all looking completely lost and forlorn. "One of you go get her and bring her back as fast as possible. Maybe it will work."

Embry jumped up, "I'll go." Bella watched as Embry mad a beeline to the woods. She hoped he was fast enough.

"Why don't you all take turns going in? Say something to convince him to accept the wolf again. I don't know what it's like to phase, but you all do; so tell him," for once Bella sounded like the one in charge. Where had that come from? She had no clue, but they all listened and first in line to go to Jake was a shocker.

Leah volunteered to be first. Sam confided to Bella, "I don't know what we should say. This isn't how it happens the first time. As far as I know nothing like this has ever happened. I informed Billy a little while ago and he's meeting with the elders as we speak. If I need to, I'll go get him. He should have a chance to see his son."

"Don't Sam. He's going to come back. He' not going to die, Nadia's going to snap him out of it."

"I hope you're right," Sam added.

"I have to be."

Bella watched each and everyone of them file through. No one stayed more than a few minutes. Paul was holding onto her as she watched Seth come out.

He was shaking his head, "I didn't realize how much he loved you."

"Seth." What could she say to that?

"No, don't apologize, Bella...I get it now, but it still doesn't change anything for me." She pushed away from Paul and walked into Seth's arms. Something was wrong with the universe that he allowed her to cry into his shirt about another man, but he didn't say another word. He merely comforted her. Soon after Nadia made her presence known. She walked up to Bella. Paul and Seth instinctively made a wall in between the two women.

"What did you do to him, you little bitch?"

"I...I, " She stuttered, not able to think of an answer, because maybe it was true; she did this.

"We were perfect until you came here. You're ruining everything. If he dies it's all your fault and I'll spend the rest of my life making you pay." She spat out with pure hatred.

"Nadia," Sam's commanding voice shouted. "Go inside, Jacob needs you, there's no time for this."

She walked in alone. It seemed like time stood still, there wasn't a single sound. No one was talking, even the forest ceased to make a noise. She couldn't even hear the wind.

Without a warning, the silence, disappeared and all hell broke loose in the shack. Bella could hear Jacob's loud, pained moans, Nadia started screaming and Kelsee was chanting something in a foreign tongue. The walls started to shake. She wondered if they would even hold up to chaos inside. It was taking both Seth and Paul to hold her back from running inside. What the hell was happening in there? The screams were ripping her apart. Jacob was in so much pain, they all felt it. Collin and Brady were both on their knees with their hands over their heads. Finally, the shaking and screaming ceased.

She worried that was a bad sign, but Sam said, "He's back." They all breathed a sigh of relief. Bella had heard so many complaints about Jacob from Leah, Seth and even Paul, but it was evident; they all still deeply cared for him. He was their alpha, had been their friend; they definitely needed him. She needed him as well, but this just proved to her she had not been realistic. There was no way, Jacob was ever breaking this imprint. If that was the case, there was no reason to keep trying with him. It would destroy them both. She looked down at her hand which was held by Seth. He was the better choice, for her; the only choice actually. Paul was right, she would have chosen Jacob, if he'd broken the imprint. Seth would have been hurt but he would've understood, eventually. It wasn't worth thinking about any longer, her decision had already been made even if she hadn't willfully made it.

An hour passed, the rickety door swung open. Seeing Jacob stand strong on two feet after he'd barely been hanging on by a thread was the most rewarding sight she'd ever seen. Seeing Nadia curled up in his arms as he carried her through the line of his pack-mates was also the most heartbreaking sight she'd ever laid eyes on. It was her answered prayer and her worst nightmare all rolled up into one.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Seriously, you guys rock. Thanks for all the reviews. I forget, but do you all like cliffies? Hope so...**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight**_

Chapter 20

Bella couldn't believe that after all that, Kelsee still wanted to proceed. Paul was adamant, "Hell no, not today...she's been through too much."

"Precisely why we need to destroy this poison. She can't go out in this condition, it still influences her actions."

Seth was unsure as well, "Bella, I think you should wait til tomorrow, maybe."

"No, Kelsee's right. Can you get all of it?"

"I think so."

"Let's do this. Can Paul and Seth stay?" she really needed the moral support this go around.

"I'll allow it if they don't distract you."

"They won't."

Kelsee started the kettle. She started picking up while it heated. Kelsee didn't have much, but everything she did have was on the floor. Seth jumped in to help, he flipped the table upright. No one was saying anything about what had just occurred within those walls.

Kelsee finally asked, "Isabella, do you need to ask me anything?"

Bella sat down with her mug. She looked at Seth, and she shook her head. She drank the hot, bitter tea without hesitation. "No, I have all the answers I need. Do you have the wraps ready?"

"Yes, let me get them." Bella slumped slightly in her chair. The combination of the tea, the terrible night's sleep and the traumatic ordeal took a toll on her quickly. Paul caught her under the arm and helped her to the cot. Her shivering started soon after. He placed two blankets over her. As they swept through the air, Jacob's scent passed over her and then enveloped her. She didn't need supernatural senses to experience that and it was the last thing ingrained in her mind before she blacked out.

She tried to push herself back up on her elbows but found there was no strength in her body. She fell back to the cot.

"Not so fast, this time, Isabella. That was the last of it, your body is going to go through some adjustments. I insist you rest longer this time."

She had no will to argue, so she closed her eyes. She managed to whisper, "Save the fire for me, I want to do it."

She had no idea how much longer she'd been out. Seth was lifting her so she could rest against him. "Here, Kelsee says you need fluids." He handed her a cup of lukewarm water.

She slowly sipped and tried harder to get her bearings. Kelsee was right, she thought the first time packed a punch, this was way harder to get over.

Paul was in the corner looking alarmed, "Damn hummingbird. That was some weird shit. You were bouncy up and down. I thought you were having a seizure."

"She was in a way. It's happened each time," Kelsee surprised them.

"She's okay, right?" Seth asked.

"Yes, are you ready?" Kelsee asked Bella.

"Yes," she was more than ready.

Seth helped her to the fire. Kelsee handed her the rags and she tossed them into the flames, herself. Flash of purple, bright glow, then a thin curl of smoke went out the chimney. For the first time, she smelled it. "Ew gross."

"That's what they smell like to us, only worse," Paul informed her.

"Oh, how come I didn't stink because of it?"

Kelsee answered the question. "It was trapped in the scar, encapsulated, that's why."

"Are you sure it's all gone?"

"Test if you want," she motioned for Seth to come closer.

First Seth brushed his fingers over the spot, then Paul did. She felt nothing other than the normal sensation of touch. She touched it, "It isn't cold any longer."

"I wouldn't expect it would be," Kelsey stated.

The afternoon had been terrible but one good thing transpired; the venom was completely gone. She wondered how the next few days or weeks would go. She'd gotten control over that anger she felt the first time. Now it was all gone, she wondered if there would be any side effects.

Seth took her home soon after. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"We should cancel tomorrow."

"Absolutely not, Seth. I'm ready to move forward, no looking back. Once I get a good night's sleep tonight, I'll be fine."

"I'm not trying to push, but actually, you don't seem fine. Bella, I can tell you're bottling it all up. You're going to explode."

"When do you want to shop for the kitchen?" That was enough talk about exploding, she'd be fine. There were no explosions in her future.

"That's it? We're going to pretend everything is the same?"

"I could go next Saturday. Do you work or have patrol?" She continued to avoid his line of questioning.

"Um, I think I have the late night patrol. We could go in the morning that day."

"It's a date," she smiled like she was the happiest girl in the world.

Seth blew a puff of air out the right side of his mouth. She was acting like this on purpose and it was making him nuts. When they got back to Charlie's she invited him inside, but he said he really thought she should go to bed and get some rest. He walked her to the door and gave her a kiss on side of her mouth.

Charlie was watching TV, "I was beginning to think you weren't coming back. How's Seth's place coming along?"

"It's good. Dad, what would you think if I moved in with Seth someday?" Of course, it was late Saturday night and Charlie had a beer. The damn can went right through his fingers as soon as she asked him that question. Bella ran in the kitchen for a hand towel. The beer was almost empty, so it didn't make a huge mess, most of it was on Charlie.

"Where the hell did that come from?"

"I was just thinking out loud."

"Did he ask you?"

"No, not yet; just hinting around," she explained.

"I think that sounds extremely rushed and since you're dating another man and all; I don't believe you're actually entertaining that idea." Charlie wasn't holding back.

"I'm not dating Jacob anymore," she was certain of that.

"Since yesterday, you mean?" He was really starting to irritate her. She knew her Dad was more than patient with her, but his voice was grating on her nerves. "Bells, go get some sleep. We don't have to talk about this now. You have dark circles under your eyes. You look like you missed a week of sleep. Go on to bed, and I'll tell everyone to forget tomorrow."

"No!" she shouted. "Don't do that. I don't want special treatment. I'm tired of people telling me things are too much. I'm not an invalid. I don't need all of you protecting me 24/7."

"Bells, come on. You've had a tough, few years."

"Those years are in the past. I'm going to manage my own life from here on out. I'm moving out in the summer. Who knows, maybe I will go to Seth's or get my own apartment. I'm giving you fair warning." There was no point of her telling him that, but she did anyway.

"Okay, did I do something wrong? Why are you yelling at me?"

"Sorry, Dad...you're right I need to go to bed." She didn't even know she was yelling.

Bella escaped to a hot shower and finally let it all out. She cried as she recalled what it had been like to see Jacob barely conscious. She was so worried, but there was just a sliver of hope he would come out of it, and the imprint would have been severed. Just the opposite happened and he was gone, out of life for good. He wouldn't leave Nadia's side or vice versa for days probably. She flinched as soon as the water ran cold. She couldn't hide out there any longer. It wasn't like she was loud crier, but the privacy of the shower allowed her emotions to pour out with ease. She'd have to spend the rest of the night with her face buried in the pillow until she fell asleep.

Sunday arrived and she made the decision to leave it all locked up. She was going to do one of the things she did best. She would pretend everything was fine. Her eyes looked swollen even after a full night's rest. She was going to have to use some extra makeup today. Once she was dressed, she went downstairs and started coffee and a hot breakfast. She had been distracted with other things most of the week, so she would need to make a store run if she was going to feed everyone. Seth and Billy were always over for games, but she thought Leah and Sue were making an appearance as well. She decided to go beyond the normal game snacks. She was going to cook up a few surprises. She felt like she owed her Dad an apology for how she spoke to him the night before. The quickest and easiest way for her to do that was through his stomach. Bella usually tried to limit Charlie's intake of red meat, but she decided steaks would be a welcomed and unexpected treat.

Bella spent at least an hour stocking up for the game and the rest of the week. At least, it was another late game, so that gave her plenty of time to get all the food ready. It was pretty chilly, but they had yet to have one of those really bad winter days even though it was December. She'd been dreading that even though the snow in Washington was a beautiful sight. Charlie finally noticed, "Bells, why do you keep going out the back door?"

"Um, I'm cooking."

"You're cooking on the grill? Why didn't you tell me? I always handle the grill."

"I wanted to surprise you, Dad," she held up the thick cut steaks.

"Oh wow, kiddo. Those are already making my mouth water. Seriously, steaks for all of us. You trying to spoil us or something?"

"I just wanted to give you all a special treat. Really, it's no big deal."

It really wasn't a big deal. The cooking helped her. She didn't have time to think about Jacob or what he might be doing with Nadia. She forgot the fact that she was now venom-free after five years.

"Come on, Bella, you're missing the game," Seth pulled her from behind. She'd been hiding out in the kitchen as much as possible. "I'll clean up later."

Seth dragged her into the living room, and she sat down next to him on the sofa. The game was pretty exciting. The energy in the room was loud and lively, and no one seemed to notice, Bella was the exact opposite. They'd all taken turns raving about her steaks. Everyone was grazing on finger foods during the game. Apparently, watching others engaged in physical activity stimulated the spectator's appetites. Bella had barely eaten at all even though she'd created some delicious dishes. She pulled out of Seth's protective hold.

"Where you going?"

"To the bathroom," she whispered. "Do I need to make an announcement?"

"No...sorry, go ahead. The game will be over soon, then why don't we take a drive or something?"

"Sure," she patted his leg so he would think everything was alright.

Bella had been in the bathroom debating on her next move. Once she'd gone off by herself, she didn't want to rejoin the group. She couldn't shake the feeling that she was suffocating downstairs with everyone. Her agitation was starting to show. If she went back down there, she could have another one of her outbursts and no one deserved that. The screams were pretty loud, so they must be paying close attention to what was taking place on the TV. She grabbed her hoodie, and tip toed down the stairs. Seth surely would've noticed under normal circumstance, but he didn't look her way. She slipped out the back door and started off on a walk to nowhere. She just needed to be alone.

Bella regretted not grabbing a real jacket, the hoodie was only somewhat keeping her body temperature comfortable. The hood was barely keeping the wind out of her ears. It hadn't been so windy when she cooked the steaks, maybe a cold front was blowing in. She told herself that it would only be a short walk. Everyone would worry as soon as they realized she was missing. It wasn't her intention to cause a fuss, she just needed some quiet time. The park instantly came to her mind. It would most likely be empty on a day such as this and it wasn't too far from Charlie's. Did people even take their kids to the park in December in Forks? She doubted that was the case.

Bella kinda milled around the edge of the park. She found a place to sit and stared off at the small pond. Soon it would be iced over. She knew it always did every winter. Much to her surprise, people were at the park. She assumed people in the area sought out sunlight whenever possible. They bundled their kids up and took them out for fresh air or maybe to run off energy. She knew how young ones were first hand because by the end of the day, they were all ready to escape the walls of the school. She stayed off by herself and took deep breaths. The wind was better where she'd sat down, not like it was on the walk over. She felt in her pockets. She didn't bring her phone, in fact she hadn't picked it up since she'd been to the store. It was still in her bag. They'd call her first, but then Seth would walk out and catch her scent. She expected to run into him on the way back.

It wasn't like she didn't want to be around Seth, she was merely worried about saying something she'd regret. She'd started acting that way with Charlie the night before, so she saved herself the embarrassment. It was present again, that angry feeling. She thought about the purging Kelsee mentioned. Damn you Edward Cullen, for setting this whole thing in motion. She could easily blame everything on him, but then there were other players: Kelsee, Nadia, the elders...the list went on and on. She had herself to blame as well for being sucked into this mess. How about the creep that shot Charlie? What was ever going to happen to that guy? Charlie said he had some hot shot lawyer filing a bunch of motions that kept delaying his trial and he was trying for a change of venue. If he hadn't shot Charlie, she wouldn't have come back to Forks. That actually made her sad, because she would probably be doing the exact same thing in Florida as she always did. She'd go to work, not talk to anyone, come home, cook a meal and sit in her room with her books. At least she was feeling emotions now, granted none were that great at the moment, but she'd had some good times since being back.

She closed her eyes for a second but all she saw was Jacob. Would he try to see her again? She was bound to see him again eventually. She wondered if he'd drawn the same conclusion that they were simply not meant to be? She had surprisingly stayed out much longer than she'd planned, so she stood up and started to head back. She was looking at her feet, which was a stupid habit she had and she bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry," she said as she looked up to see the poor unfortunate person she'd just tripped on.

"Bella," he spoke. He looked almost the same, maybe a tiny bit heavier, but not much. He still had a friendly face, almost boyish. He was holding the hand a young child. She was beautiful with little blonde curls sticking out of her knit cap.

"Mike Newton, how are you?"

"I'm good, how about you ?"

"Oh okay, I guess... Is this your daughter? She's adorable," Bella smiled at the cute little girl who was the perfect combination of Mike and Jessica.

"Yeah, it's Kaitlyn." He looked around. "Jess is around here somewhere, she's pushing Grant in the stroller."

"Oh yeah, so Jessica had the baby? I saw her once, when she was about to pop."

"Yeah, this our first time taking him out. It's a little windy, but she has him bundled like we live in the Arctic."

Jessica was nearby, which meant only one thing to her. "Get the hell out of there and quick," she told herself.

Mike looked a little awkward like he was debating something. He ended up going for it and attempted to give Bella a friend hug after she told him she had to get back home, but it was nice to see him.

"Oh my God! You're at it again," screeched through the air.

Bella looked up to see Jessica pushing a stroller covered in a blue blanket.

"Hi, Jess, congrats on the baby, I'll see you two around, bye." Bella was determined to leave as soon as the words came out of her mouth.

"No, hold on. You're not getting off that easy," Jessica blocked her on the sidewalk.

"Excuse me?" Bella wasn't hiding how irritated she was with Jessica.

"Good thing I showed when I did, what were you doing with your hands on my husband?"

Mike looked green all of the sudden, "Babe, come on Bella was just saying 'hi' don't be like that. She was our friend in high school."

"Maybe she was your friend but never really mine and I tried. God knows, I tried Bella, but you thought you were too good for the rest of us. You might have landed Edward Cullen, but that certainly didn't last. You weren't as great as you thought."

"No, not at all Jessica. I never thought any sort. Look, I'm sorry, but I really need to go."

"The whole town knows. You tried to fool me the last time we saw each other, but Nadia told me all of it."

"Look, I don't have to listen to this especially where Nadia is concerned." She started to walk past them. Jessica was being especially loud and whiny. Bella saw a few people in the park looking at them.

Jessica grabbed her arm, not ready to let Bella off so easy. "I think it's high time, all the people of Forks know what kind of two-faced home wrecker we have in our midst. I can't believe you're actually working with our children in the school."

Bella jerked her arm back, "Don't fucking touch me, bitch!"

Jessica released her with a shocked look on her face. She was use to Bella retreating. She'd never been confrontational one time in her presence.

"Mike, can you believe she said that to me? Do something."

"Do what Jessica, you were cornering her, let's go. People are staring," he begged his wife.

"No, I'm not leaving til Bella apologizes."

"Well, then you're going to stand there til the end of time because I'm never apologizing to you and you can tell Nadia the same goes for her. I know you report to her, like a little spy. Tell her to stop telling people I'm a whore, she's the one that used to sleep with old men for money!" Bella yelled that last part at the top of her lungs. It had somehow escaped her mind that small children were playing in the area.

Jessica's face scrunched up, but Bella couldn't look at her any longer, she turned around and started walking off. Jessica just wouldn't let it go, she followed her.

"You'll regret that for sure. Nadia has been waiting for an excuse to put you in your place, just wait til she gets you alone." Now Jessica was making threats on Nadia's behalf. It was the same threat from the text message.

"Call her right now, I'm alone. Tell her to meet me right now, Jessica. Fucking call her! What are you waiting for bitch, I said call her!" Bella was right in Jessica's face. She was screaming so loud the words burned in her throat. Jessica had started to walk backwards, Bella didn't care if she was backing off. She'd pursued her twice and now she was going to suffer for not letting her walk away. Mike started to walk closer, leaving his four year old with her little brother. Bella started feeling like she was drowning, she couldn't catch her breath. Her fists were clinched tight. God knows how many people were watching them at the moment, a bunch of them were little kids. She was getting ready to punch Jessica's face despite how wrong it was, she didn't think she could stop what had already been set in motion. Her arm pulled back, but a firm hand pushed it back down.

"I got ya," Paul came out of thin air and stopped her. "Alright little Mikey, get your woman and your kids and be on your way."

"No, she was going to hit me. I'm calling the police," Jessica squealed.

"Jess, come on let's go," Mike pulled her arm. His face was bright red and he didn't dare make eye contact with Paul.

"No, you're crazy, " she pointed her finger in Bella's face. "There's a rumor out there. I don't know who started it, but the rumor is you've been in a mental institution since you left here. I believe it now. There's no way my Kaitlyn is going to school next year with the likes of you."

"Hummingbird, we need to walk away, okay?"

She shook her head, but she couldn't escape all the eyes that were on her. The whole damn town was already saying things about her, this was going to travel at the speed of light. **Police chief's daughter has violent breakdown in city park.** Paul was offering her safe passage, but she had one last thing to get off her chest. "Stop staring at me. What's wrong with all you fucking people in the park? It's December! You're all miserable parents for bringing your kids out in this shit weather."

And then the damn burst, she hadn't made it out of sight. She started sobbing into Paul's chest. "Shh, Bella, let me get you out of here."

A little hand pulled at the bottom of Bella's hoodie, and she was stunned to see one of those children in the park, was a student, "Miss Swan, are you okay? I sorry you cry."

She fell to her knees beside the young boy, "Oh Oliver, I'm so sorry I acted like that. Please forgive me. I had a very bad day."

The little boy was one of her favorite kids. He wrapped his little arms around her neck and hugged her. She'd met his parents before. They were probably repulsed that this wacko worked with their son. Oliver's mother walked over, and Bella prepared for the worst as she extracted herself from Oliver.

"Hey, Miss Swan...I'm sorry, but if it'll make you feel any better. I bet half the mom's here would pin a medal on you. Jessica Newton has to be one of the most annoying people I've ever met. She got everything she deserved. I swear if you need it, I'll vouch for you at school, okay?"

"Thanks, but I'm still very sorry for causing a scene. It's not like me at all."

Paul helped Bella to his truck before she could cause any more damage. She could only hope most people felt like Oliver's mom, but she could be sure Jessica wasn't going to let this go.

Once they were safe inside his truck, she stated the obvious, "I'm going to get fired."

"Maybe not," he didn't look at all like he believed what he was saying.

"How'd you find me?"

He pointed to his nose.

"Why couldn't you have been 10 minutes earlier?"

"Why couldn't you have stayed inside?"

"I needed air...it was bad wasn't it?"

"Yep, it was pretty bad, on the Lord's day and everything. I mean damn, hummingbird. You just cursed out a bunch of toddlers."

"I wasn't cursing at the children. I was just cursing at their parents," she wasn't making herself sound any better.

"Where to? You ready to face the music? I'm sure Charlie's phone is already buzzing."

"No, no way. Take me to your place."

"My place?"

"Yeah, why is that a problem?"

"No, we can go to my place, but I really should check in and let Seth and Charlie know you're okay."

"Please don't, yet. Seth will come after me, I need a little more time."

"Okay, just a little bit. What's with you? I swear I can't tell you 'no' even when it's against my better judgment."

"Please, you don't even have better judgment," she teased him.

He laughed and she was shocked that she joined him, but it felt good to laugh again.

Paul had a nice little house.

"Billy," he said after seeing the surprise on her face.

"Huh?"

"Billy helped us all get places of our own; at least those that needed them."

"Wow, that's pretty nice."

"Yeah...well, we give up a lot for this tribe and the people of Forks and La Push, he insisted on it with the council. We pay the utilities and keep the houses in good condition. Jake, Jared and I are the only ones that took them up on the offer. Emily already had a place, so Sam moved in with her and you know Embry lives with Billy, the rest still live at home."

He opened the door and she was pleased to see he wasn't a slob. It definitely was a man's place, but she was impressed.

"Not what you were expecting?" he asked.

"Nope, not at all."

"Do you bring your friends here?"

"Friends?"

"Yeah, is there something else I should call them?"

"No, friends is okay. The answer is not very often."

"Oh okay," she wasn't sure if she should sit or stand. It was pretty much like a studio apartment, one large room.

"The sheets are clean, I swear. You want to take a nap? You look like you need it."

"That actually sounds like a good idea."

Paul pulled out his phone and held it up for her as she was making herself cozy on his bed.

"What am I supposed to do about all these messages?"

"I don't know."

"All Seth has to do is go to the park, he'll know you're with me."

"Fine, send Seth a message, tell him I need an hour or two."

"Anything else?"

"No."

Paul sat on the edge of the bed, "Why'd you do it?"

"Do what? Yell and scream at Jessica?"

"No, Kelsee told you to limit your contact with people and your stress? Why'd you go off alone?"

"I don't know," she shrugged.

"That's bullshit, Bella. If you didn't want to be around Seth, you should've told him. Quit jerking that poor guy's chain."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Why must you convince yourself that you love him?"

"I do love him," why didn't anyone understand?

"Well you're not in love with him."

"I...I don't know what that even means. Why do people always say that?"

"Because it's the truth."

"No one understands."

"Then make me understand."

"He was going through all that for me, and it was for nothing. As soon as she was there, she saved him and brought him back. He's only supposed to be with her and it hurts, so fucking much, but I'm trying to pretend it doesn't."

"Nadia didn't save Jacob."

"Of course, she did. You saw, you were there."

"No, you did that, because you were the only one that recognized what he needed and no matter how much her existence hurts you, you still sent for her. She was clueless. She was too busy worrying about how Jacob might be out making her look bad. She had no idea, he was in that state. I've seen her in action remember. She's the most selfish woman on the planet."

"He hasn't tried to contact me since..." her eyes stared at the blanket to avoid looking at Paul.

"You sure about that?" he asked like he knew differently.

"Um...I guess, I don't know. I haven't had my phone since this morning."

"He was in your room last night."

"What? Are you sure?" She looked at her friend, completely caught off guard by his words.

"Very."

"Why? What did he want?"

"Just to see you."

"But he didn't wake me," she tried to remember if she'd sensed him. She doesn't even remember dreaming.

"He told me he gave you a kiss on your eyelid and told you he loved you. I was outside, he wasn't in there for more than five minutes." She didn't know how to feel about Paul's confession.

"Come here, close your eyes. I'll keep watch, you're safe with me hummingbird."

She let Paul hold her and she closed her eyes for a short while.

Paul was shifting around, she assumed he had to get up. She was going to get up as well. It was time to go back to Charlie's and face all of them, if anyone was still around. She had no idea what time it even was. The bed moved once more and even though her eyes were still closed she knew it wasn't Paul. "Jake," she turned her head and opened her eyes. He looked amazing; healthy and strong, his normal self.

"Hi Bells," was the first thing out of his mouth. He picked up her arm, and examined it before putting his warm lips directly over the scar. All the bad feelings had disappeared. Maybe they smoldered in the fire with the venom, because all she felt when he touched her now was pure pleasure. She lifted herself up and went straight into his lap. He kissed her in many places: her cheek, her head, her shoulder; but never on her lips and she still melted every time his lips touched her skin. She held on for dear life until he asked if he could take her home.

They walked out to Paul's porch. He was sitting on the top step, and she bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek, "Thanks for protecting me today?"

"Anytime, I'm sure it won't be the last time," he joked but they all knew it was the truth.

She and Jacob didn't even talk on the drive, she just held on tight to his hand. She had absolutely no idea where they stood, and for once, it didn't matter. He walked her to the door, "Should I come in?"

"Please, for a little bit. I'm scared."

Charlie was on the house phone, "No, she just walked in. I'll let you go, thanks Billy."

"Isabella Marie Swan, I swear to god. What in the hell happened today?"

Seth walked over to her and hugged her. Jacob was hovering near the door. "You okay?"

"I guess, as long as I don't lose my job."

"You won't," Seth reassured her.

Bella gave her Dad a hug, "I'm sorry, I worried you."

"You have no idea, little lady. Jessica 'big mouth' Newton wants you arrested."

"What? For yelling? Is that a crime?"

"Well no, but some of the things you said in front of the children might be considered criminal. Anyway, Mike came in with his version and he's backing you, Bells. Said his wife was out of line and provoked you, that you tried more than once to leave but she wouldn't let you. As far as the law, you're safe, but you might have to do damage control at the school. If I were you, I'd go in early and tell your side first to Principal O'hare. Hopefully, that will work."

"I'm sorry to all of you, especially you Dad. I made a big deal last night of not wanting be treated different and then I go and do something that proves I'm still a mess. I'm sorry, I'm going to the doctor this week, I'm going to get control of this anger."

"Bells, um...I think Seth will agree with me, that you need some time to yourself. We haven't been helping," Jacob finally spoke up.

"I do have a busy week ahead, actually all these weeks before Christmas are jam packed. Maybe, we could just play it by ear. I can't be pressured right now, but we can see how it goes when I'm on my break."

"Sure, sure..." Jake said.

Seth shook his head in agreement. The two of them left at the same time, and she was relieved to see how cordial they seemed with one another.

Bella took care of business all week, starting with spilling her guts to the principal at the school. Luckily two parents had vouched for her. She said Jessica was trying to make trouble but at least her kid wasn't due to start til next year, so maybe she would calm down by then. Bella didn't think Jessica would calm down, but she couldn't worry about something that was more that 6 months away. She went to her doctors' appointments. She at first refused the birth control being offered her, but at the last minute she had a change of heart. She took the few months worth, as well as the written prescription. Dr. Oliver was a nice doctor. The family doctor was less personable but she wasn't too bad. Bella had her blood tests and was told she should hear back first of next week. She had kept it casual with Seth and Jacob, neither had seen her since Sunday, but she texted back and forth with each of them. She thought about hanging out with them over the weekend, but Kim asked her to go Christmas shopping with her Saturday, so she asked Seth for a rain check on the kitchen shopping.

Friday had finally arrived and as soon as school was out, she rushed home. She knew a lot of people heard about her park episode. Kate told her it was the talk of the town. She hated feeling like everyone's eyes were on her, and she looked forward to a quiet night with Charlie. He told her movies and pizza when he got off a 6. She decided to soak in the tub and put on pajamas. Who cared if was only 4 in the afternoon. She brushed out her wet hair and then towel dried it a little. She opened the bathroom door to go to her room.

As soon as her bare feet hit the hall floor, something felt different. Charlie's door was standing wide open, but hers was closed. It should've been the other way around. Charlie kept his closed and she knew for a fact she left hers open. She should have ran down the stairs as soon as she noticed the doors, but she tried to rationalize. It's Forks, nothing sinister happens in Forks. Vampires crossed her mind, but she highly doubted that knowing how Jake ran the pack. She slowly opened her door, for reasons unknown to her. Was she being polite to whatever would be assailant that might be hiding in her room, by giving him a head's up? Her room looked exactly as she'd left it, so that was a good sign. She had one goal in mind. She was going to grab her phone off the charger and call Paul. He would come over and give her peace of mind by checking out the house for her. She was grabbed from behind before the 4th step into her room. She instinctively fought back, but the person that had her was obviously prepared. Something pinched her side and she felt like she was being buried all of the sudden. Her chest felt extremely tight, she tried to scream but nothing came out. It was complete darkness, but she felt like she was still somewhat conscious. Maybe it was a dream, she didn't know, but she still felt pain. Her head kept pounding, every few seconds there was another blow until there was nothing; no pain, no noise. There was nothing.

_**~Thanks so much for reading. I'll do my best not to leave you hanging too long.**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**The responses to the last two updates has been great. Thanks so much! I've kept my promise, here's what happened.**_

Chapter 21

Bella startled, she was awake, but it still was dark. It was also really cold. She was wet, maybe she was outside somewhere, except it felt like she was lying on a hard surface. She took a few deep breaths and felt fabric suck in towards her nose and mouth and then blow out. She had something on her head. She still felt dizzy and a little nauseous. She must have been drugged and her head hurt like crazy. She wiggled her feet. Good news, they weren't tied, but her hands were. She rolled to her side and tried to see if she could stand. She needed to find out if there was something she could brace herself on. She scooted around until her head met something that crinkled. She turned herself around on what she was now sure was a hardwood floor. Her feet ran along the plastic, but she finally managed to get them underneath the fabric. It was a piece of furniture. She thought most likely a couch but maybe and over-sized chair.

After a little more maneuvering, she got onto the covered sofa. Once she was in a sitting position, she was able to twist her arms around her head until she finally loosened the covering on her head. She squirmed her head around the back of the sofa until it started to come off. Finally, her head was free and she sucked in a lungful of oxygen. It was still dark, but a little bit of natural light from the outdoors came through the windows. That's when she knew where she was, she recognized the windows. She was in the Cullen's house. The abandoned years hadn't done it any favors. She remembered how nice Esme had it back when she use to visit. The air was very dank and dusty. It had an eeriness to it now, that she hadn't remembered. If they left a sofa, maybe they left behind something that would get her restraints off her hands. What should she do next? They didn't live close to anyone else and she knew the phone lines wouldn't be working. She wasn't even positive her attacker had left her for good.

Her brain was slowly starting to recall what had happened. Someone grabbed her, she could pretty much bet her life on who that someone was. Question was, could she ever prove it? Well, at least she didn't kill her. She could have if she wanted to but maybe even she wasn't that deranged. What was Bella thinking? Drugging someone, tying them up and leaving them soaking wet in an abandoned house was pretty deranged. How many crimes were they talking about? Kidnapping, assault because her head...my god, what had she done to her head? Charlie would probably think of at least 20 more charges. "Oh, Dad," she said out loud. He would come home and find her missing. What if they all thought she was having one of her episodes? They'd still be looking for her, she was sure of it. She started to feel sleepy again, so she skipped trying to hunt for a sharp object. She rested on the plastic and tried to pull some around her for insulation. It didn't work very well but she was too exhausted to care.

"Sam, she's hear. Quil, go let Seth and Paul know."

"Is she okay?" a deep voice asked.

"She's alive, but I'm not sure...Swan, can you hear me? Wake up?"

Bella heard voices and thought she was dreaming, but then she recognized Leah.

"Lee," was all she could say.

"You're safe, it's going to be okay. We're going to get you to the hospital as soon as one of the guys gets over here with a vehicle. Do you know what happened?"

"No, someone grabbed me. It felt like I was given a shot. My head hurts a lot."

"Anything else?" Leah asked.

"No, well, I kinda ache all over."

"Did you see her?" was Leah's next question.

"No, but it was Nadia. I know it was her," Bella told them.

"Yeah, and she had some help," Leah confirmed her suspicions.

"Really who?"

Sam broke into their conversation, "We detected Emily, Jessica and an unknown female, but Nadia's scent was the strongest at your house and here."

"Oh Sam, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry. My fucking wife was a part of your kidnapping and you think you should apologize?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"Yes, because I know that must hurt you."

"Don't worry about any of us, save your strength okay," Leah put her arm around Bella.

"Does Jake know?"

"Yeah, he knows."

"Oh, well is he on the way?" she wanted to see how he was taking this. It had to have come as a shock even if Nadia was a bitch. Did anyone really think this would happen?

"No," was all Leah said.

She didn't know what to say. Had she really expected Jacob to swoop in on a white stallion and rescue her? His imprint had done this to her, but he still was loyal to her. Is that why Leah wasn't saying anything else?

"Swan, Jacob can't come here, because he's in fucking jail."

"Jail!" She found her voice. "How's Jacob the one in jail? Is Nadia in jail?"

"No, because so far there isn't proof she did this. Charlie's bringing in a CSI team from out of town, but Seth scoured the place. She didn't leave a trace. We can't very well go to the D.A. and and swear under oath we smelled her."

"That still doesn't explain how Jacob ended up in jail," Bella knew she was out of it, but they were keeping things from her for some reason.

"Please, Bella, not right now, do you even know how bad your head is?"

"No, it hurts and I kept blacking out," She stuck her hands back there since Leah broken the restraints. She felt the moisture back there and knew it was blood.

"Well, she drug you down the stairs."

"How do you know that?"

"Seth...he found the evidence every step your head hit."

She closed her eyes and pictured Seth, what must be going through his mind? He had to help process the scene. "How long have I been missing?" She had absolutely no concept of time.

"It's four in the morning," Sam told her.

So it had been roughly 12 hours. Wow, it's like she was missing from the world all those hours, but so much had been going on during that time frame with the pack and the police, Charlie's little police force.

Seth came in the door in the next second with Paul one step behind him. He lifted Bella up. He peppered kisses all over her face. "Bella, oh Bella...I was so worried about you."

"I'm okay, Seth. It's just my head."

"Okay, Paul has his truck outside. We'll get you to the hospital." Paul's large hand reached out and brushed her cheek after Seth lifted her.

She made eye contact with him and he shook his head in disbelief.

"Seth, please tell me everything. I want to know why Jacob ended up in jail," two things she couldn't let go of: her damn head hurt so bad, she wanted to faint and Jacob was in jail.

"Bella, you need to save your strength. You have no idea how much blood you've lost."

She wanted to argue with him, but she couldn't, she drifted in and out while Paul drove them as fast as he could to the hospital.

* * *

Bella woke up, not sure where she was, "Beep, beep, beep," could be heard behind her. She figured it out pretty quickly. She was in the hospital. She stretched her neck just enough to see her father awkwardly positioned in a reclining chair.

"Dad," she said in an unrecognizable voice.

Charlie jumped, and was out of the chair and in an instant. "Hey, Bells...you're awake. How do you feel, baby?"

"Okay, I guess...my head still hurts."

"Yeah, well a cracked skull will do that, so I've heard."

"Oh my God, my skull is broken? I never expected to break that bone. Am I okay? Did I have an operation?"

"No operation, it's a hairline fracture. They've been monitoring you closely and there's no sign that you're brain is swelling. You have a helluva concussion. They've had you sedated."

"What time is it?"

"It's late Saturday afternoon."

"Where's Seth?"

"I forced him to go take a nap, him and Lahote had been here the whole night and morning. I sent them both home a couple of hours ago."

She remembered waking up at the Cullen's. It was real and hadn't been a nightmare. "Dad, Jake? Please tell me you let him out of jail. How could you arrest him?"

"Bells, let's not talk about it right now. The doctor says you need your rest."

"No, I need to know what happened."

"Bella, I had no choice. I was on my way over to their place. Seth told me you'd received threats from Nadia. I wish you would have told me. The 911 call came in right before I got there. I was going to scare the life out of that girl and hope I could trip her up, since it seemed she didn't leave behind any evidence. I supposed Jacob lost his temper knowing what she did. He was on the scene right away after I knew you were missing."

"How?"

"I called him," Charlie looked really tired to Bella.

"Oh..."

"He and Seth were the first ones there, but Jacob left supposedly to go look for Nadia. I was distracted. I should have made him wait for me."

"Who called 911 from Jake's?"

"She did. Bells, I had to arrest Jacob for domestic violence. I didn't have a choice, he didn't deny it. I could see the marks on her neck. It took three of those men: Quil, Sam and Embry to pull him off of her. I get that he was furious and frantic with worry, but he acted outside the law. You can't go choking the truth out of people. Believe me, we've all been tempted when faced with someone we know without a doubt is lying, but it doesn't work that way."

Bella couldn't believe what Charlie was telling her. She wondered how it was possible for Jacob to hurt Nadia? She knew he would never hurt a woman under normal circumstance. What did this mean with regards to the imprint? "What if she doesn't press charges? Will you let him go?"

"Bella, I don't see that happening. You didn't see that woman. She was a raving maniac. She kept talking about making him pay, making him suffer. She has some weird hold over him, I'm assuming. I don't know what it is. I'm sure she'll press charges. I haven't even had the chance to interrogate her since all that happened. I'm probably going to bring in someone from the county to do it, so there won't be a conflict of interest, since you're my daughter."

She had this feeling deep down Nadia was not going to press charges against Jacob. She had provoked him and done all this to cause a distraction. She knew the pack would know she was behind this, but Bella did have a memory of gloved hands holding her arms. Nadia had been a con artist prior to being with Jacob. She probably covered her ass in every way possible. Even the best criminals slipped up, but she had to prepare herself that Nadia might very well get away with this. The attack was bad enough to let them all know how dangerous she was to Bella, but she made sure not to hurt her too bad. A skull fracture was bad enough, but that had been from the stairs. No one mentioned any other weapons. Was Bella suppose to live in fear from now on? She should cut her losses and accept being with Jake was literally hazardous to her health. Before she'd merely been worried about her mental health, but now there was a chance she'd be killed over it.

She instantly thought back to how he behaved at Paul's. He was gentle and loving. The way he bathed her in kisses, but didn't press her for any kisses on the mouth; it let her know that he still loved her, but he would give her whatever she needed. He recognized she needed a reprieve. The ordeal at Kelsee's had been too much to endure. She couldn't ignore the failed attempt to break the imprint and pretend it didn't have an affect on her.

"When can I go home?" was her next question.

"Tomorrow, if everything continues to be okay. The doctor will be by this evening again."

"When Seth or Paul gets back, please Dad go to the station and see what you can do for Jacob."

"Okay, Billy has been leaving me messages every hour on the hour. He's extremely worried about you, but he's also sick about what has happened to Jacob."

Seth showed up within the hour, so Charlie excused himself to give them some privacy and go see if he could calm his daughter's fears about Jacob.

Seth rubbed her cheek with the palm of his hand as he sat at the edge of her hospital bed.

"I bet I look like a mess. Gah," she lifted her arm. "I smell too. I can feel the caked blood back there. I feel so gross," she told him, but he was staring at her lovingly.

"No, you're still beautiful to me. Bella, I was so worried about you. I can't believe that bitch did this to you and I swear she's going to get away with it. It makes me almost wish Sam wouldn't have intervened and Jake would have choked the life out of her."

"But then he'd go to jail for murder and what would happen with his wolf if she died, especially at his hands?"

"I don't know. I think the legends expect us to believe he'd die if she did, but who knows? Hey, what if I ask your nurse if you can have a shower? Leah's coming up, I can have her stop by your house and get some of your things. She could help you. You're right, you do have blood in your hair and it's very upsetting for my wolf to smell that."

"Your wolf likes me, Seth?" She had only asked Jacob that question.

"Of course he does. We talked about it Saturday, me and the guys. All of ours like you, even Collin and Brady who said they barely know you."

"Why? Why do you think that is?"

"I don't know, because you're such a great person. Maybe it's because you're unique, you know our secrets and you didn't miss a beat; you simply accepted us."

"I feel like I should take care of all you," was what her heart was telling her.

He leaned over and kissed her forehead, "That's sweet, but please start taking care of yourself first. We all can handle ourselves. Remember, we rip apart leeches in our free time?"

"Yeah, I know...physically, you're all exceptional, but something tells me all of you could use a little emotional support. When was the last time any of you even came across a vampire? I never hear you talk about it."

"Come on, Bella. You need to rest. It isn't time to add any worries to your plate."

"No, I want to know. I worry regardless...anxiety sufferer, remember?"

"Yeah, okay...well, do you remember when Jake was being a dick and sent me off on that bogus patrol after the bonfire?"

"Yes, I think I remember old scents."

"Yeah, well...it turns out those same scents keep coming back. They weren't old after all. Not sure what's going on? It's out of the area we usually patrol, but Jake doesn't like the fact they keep coming back. So we're kinda on high alert on that north side of the reservation. I'm telling you this not to scare you, but for you to understand you can't be too careful in this region of the country. They exist, you know firsthand and even though we do an excellent job of keeping our area safe; don't take any chances. Don't go off alone, Bella. I know that's your thing when you get overwhelmed, but you can't. Promise me, you won't do that again." Seth was holding her hand and it felt so good to know he was there for her no matter what.

"I promise Seth. I trust all of you to protect me."

"Believe me after yesterday, you will always have a bodyguard, like it or not."

Seth stayed by her side, he insisted on feeding her dinner and he didn't move more than a foot away from her even as she drifted in and out. She was still exhausted and couldn't stay awake very long.

Leah showed up after dinner and the nurse gave them the go ahead for a shower. She showed Leah where the staples were. She said warm water only for today, but after 48 hours, Bella could use shampoo and conditioner. Once the nurse, wrapped Bella's iv up in a protective cover, Leah could help her get cleaned up. Bella hadn't realized at first she also had a catheter, but the nurse removed it and said now that Bella was conscious, she should be able to use the bathroom herself. When she made it back to her bed, the nurse had put on fresh sheets, and even though her hair felt a mess because she couldn't tame it down without conditioner, she felt almost human. Her head still ached, but the pain medicine they were giving her, took the edge off. The doctor came by and said she would be going home in the morning as long as the night went well.

Charlie made himself at home in that ridiculous squeaky leather recliner. He assured her Jacob was fine even though he couldn't release him. A decision would be made before the 48 hold expired. "Dad, are you sure you want to sleep there? Why don't go home to your own bed?"

"No way, I'm not letting you out of my sight. Don't worry about me. I'll try not to move too much because this chair is loud as hell, but no arguments. I'm sleeping here."

She didn't want to admit it, but she was glad he was in her room. She really wasn't ready to be alone, she was still scared. If she knew Seth he was probably out in the forest near the hospital, and that made her feel better; but having her Daddy close by was what really comforted her at the moment.

_**~Thanks so much for reading. If anyone is interested, I have a little chapter that goes back a few days prior to this and tells what's been going on in the Alpha's life. Let me know, if you would like that POV.**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**What the heck is going on with Jacob? I know some readers are very put off by this version of him, but I love to write his POV. Here's what's been happening since the day at Kelsee's.**_

_**Warning: These are characters, not role models. Some of you might be offended by Jake's behavior, some of you might cheer him in this one. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 22

"Motherfucker," he said to Kelsee after she'd given him her explanation of what had happened almost a week ago. She thought she was making him feel better, but she didn't exactly do that. She had told him what he had suffered hadn't been for nothing; some of the threads had permanently been severed.

"What does that mean?" he asked. "The imprint is breaking?"

"Perhaps a little at a time. Picture, thousands of threads connecting you to her, but a few of them were clipped Saturday."

"Only a few?"

"I think so."

"So let me get this straight, I was near death; hurting like hell and only a few threads were severed? How can I speed up this process?"

"You can't. It's too dangerous."

Jacob knew something had happened when he got back to the house with Nadia. She wanted sex the second they walked through the door. He told her "hell no".

"Jake, baby we have to seal our bond again. I don't know what that was back there, but you're back and I need you to prove to me, that I'm still yours."

"I've got a headache, leave me alone," He headed to get a shower, locking the door behind him.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Let me in," she was banging on the bathroom door and screaming. "You can't deny me, we both know, you can't deny me," she was screaming.

She was right, he couldn't and yet that's exactly what he was doing. The thought of being with her right then repulsed him, which wasn't new, but he always gave in before and now he wasn't giving in. He stepped out of the shower, got dressed and opened the bathroom door. She was sitting on the floor outside the door, black streaked tears all over her face. She jumped up and tried to throw herself in his arms, but he shoved her back against the wall and kept walking.

"Jake," she shrieked, "I need you. Whatever I need, right? Where are you going?"

"Out."

"To her? You can't be serious, she almost killed you, I saved you. You're meant for me."

He wasn't going to talk about Bella with her. "I need to run, now get out of my way."

"No, shouldn't you rest? Stay with me and I'll take care of you, please don't go out tonight. I swear if you walk out on me, you'll regret it."

"I regret everything about you, but trust me I won't regret leaving you right now," and that was the last thing he said to her before charging off into the night.

He'd gone to Bella's after running for several hours. He took Paul as backup.

"I know when I see her, I'll want to climb in the covers and stay with her, but it isn't right. I know she's upset and after what you told me about the last of the venom, I can't take advantage of her. If I don't come back in a few minutes, come in and kick my ass, okay?"

"Most definitely, I'm not going to let you hurt her Jacob. She's important to me and you know, I've never felt like that about anyone." If Jacob didn't have a direct line to Paul's thoughts, he might have kicked his ass about how close he'd gotten with Bells, but he saw what was happening between them. It was purely a friendship, more like a brother/sister bond and he could tell it was good for both of them.

He made it inside without a sound. Sure, he was kind of like a fucking creeper or something, but he had to see her just for a second. The way she looked when he left Kelsee's ripped his fucking heart apart. He wished he'd been strong enough to drop Nadia on the ground and go to Bella, but like Kelsee was telling him, there still was a strong bond linking him to Nadia. It would take a long time to do such a thing. He wondered if he or Bella had enough strength to survive this challenge.

She was resting somewhat peaceably, but he could smell her salty tears. She'd cried herself to sleep. He did that to her, and he had to live with himself everyday that he caused her pain. He leaned down to kiss her on the eyelid and whispered, "I still love you, Bells, that'll never change."

He felt the need to share all the little details with Kelsee. She was a good listener, but she wasn't exactly telling him what he wanted to hear. She said he needed to try and back off. There was no way to rush the process. He couldn't believe what Bella had done that Sunday afternoon. Kelsee said even though they all were shocked at her behavior, she thought it was a positive turn for Bella. "That poor girl has packed her emotions away for far too long. She needs to get them out. She might lose it a few more times, but eventually she'll even out."

He'd really missed her all week, but she needed both him and Seth to take a step back. The next thing he regretted to admit to Kelsee is he eventually gave in to Nadia. He managed to stay gone for almost two days, but when he went back; his will was not as strong and he'd slept with her. "You filthy, fucking animal...I hate you," he told his wolf when he went to wash her scent off him. He always did that since he had realized how much he loved Bella. He indeed was a sick puppy, pun intended.

Kelsee tried to sympathize, but she also had a few words of advice. "Instead of hating him, find a way to coexist. I don't think you'll be successful until you and the wolf share your body and soul harmoniously."

"How the hell is that supposed to happen if he wants Nadia and I want Bella?"

"One day, he'll have to want her as well and you already said that isn't too far from the truth." True, Jacob's wolf was content in Bella's presence.

Jacob's phone started buzzing in his pocket. It was probably Nadia, making sure he was on the way home. He looked down, it was Charlie.

"Jake, Jake please tell me Bella's with you? Did she fall or something?"

"Hold up, Charlie. What's going on? No, I haven't seen Bells since Sunday. Why do you think she fell?"

"There's blood on my stairs, Jake and Bella's gone, but her truck's still here and so is her purse."

"I'll be right there." Jacob heard the fear in Charlie's voice. This was very bad, he knew it. Something happened to Bells and he had a sinking feeling who was responsible. He should have kept a better watch on both of them.

He ran full speed to Charlie's and slipped on some clothes as fast as he could. Seth was already there, and an extra patrol car, as well. He smelled the noxious, expensive perfume that he hated mixed with her normal scent and Bella's. On top of all that, Bella's fresh blood filled the air. He was going to fucking lose his shit in front of Charlie if he wasn't careful. Seth had on gloves and little shoe covers. Jacob had never seen him being so official. He looked up at Jake, and he could easily read his expression. The two of them knew exactly what had happened, but they were limited and were subject to the human aspect of the investigation.

"Anything, Seth?" Charlie asked his deputy.

"Um, no...nothing other than a theory."

"Which is?"

"Well, Nadia sent Bella some threatening text messages."

He and Charlie both screamed "What?" in unison.

"Why didn't you say anything, Seth?" he asked him. Seth fucking new better, he shouldn't keep shit like that from his alpha.

"She deleted them and I told her that wasn't the right thing to do, but from what I gathered, Nadia had told her one day she'd be alone and it would be when she least expected it."

Charlie turned several shades of red. He looked like he wanted beat the shit out of Jacob, "Where is she?"

"I don't know, Charlie I haven't seen her since this morning I thought she was going to her sister's today."

He pulled his phone out, she was at home, so she'd said in a text message.

He wanted to get to her first. He was Bella's best chance. Maybe he'd get through to Nadia and she'd admit where Bella was. He looked at Seth, "I'm going to go see if I can find Nadia. Keep me informed, Seth and I'll get back to you as soon as I find anything."

Jacob again was running as fast as he could, Sam was phased in and he revealed the scene at Charlie's. It didn't escape his senses that there was one subtle hint of Emily which lingered at the road. Maybe she was driving the getaway car. Sam was enraged and he went off to grill his wife while Jacob was dealing with his own monster imprint.

She'd brought dinner home, and was sitting at the table like everything was completely normal.

"Where the fuck is she?" he roared.

"Who?" she was playing dumb.

"Bella, you know damn well, who."

"Oh, your whore...how should I know where she is all the time. Isn't that your job?"

"Fuck...Nadia. Are you that whacked out of your mind that you kidnapped her? You're going to jail for this," he told her.

"I didn't do anything. I have no idea what you're ranting about."

He could smell the lies on her every time she opened her mouth. He walked over to the table and flipped it spilling the food all over the floor. "I'm not fucking playing games with you. Bella's bleeding, a lot. I know you were there. You have one more chance to tell me where she is."

"I don't have to tell you shit. I'm in control here, Jake...not you. When are you going to stop trying to destroy us? Don't you know, you can't live without me? You can't, it's the truth, she ran to the drawer and pulled out a huge butcher knife and pointed it to her chest. "I'll do it, I'll fucking kill us both. You're making me do this. You've given me know choice. Everything that happened today is your fault."

"Nadia, put the damn knife down. You know you're bluffing. You won't do it."

She pushed the knife closer to her chest and he heard her blouse tear.

He knew she wasn't quick enough, so he rushed her and knocked the knife on the floor, he pushed her against the wall. It was his last chance to scare the truth out of her. He sensed several of the pack outside. He firmly held her against the kitchen wall and got in her face. "Where is Bella? Tell me right now before this starts to hurt." He pushed a little harder.

"Go ahead and kill me yourself Jake. It'll be the same result. It doesn't matter if it's you or me. We'll both be dead. Do it. I want you to, that way I know she'll never have you to herself. If you don't, I'll jump off the cliffs head first."

"Fucking bitch, where is she?"

Sam was inside, "Jacob, back off man. She's not worth. They aren't going to budge. I've already tried with Emily, our only hope is to go out searching. All of us will split up and we'll find her. Leah, Collin and Brady are already looking. Come on, man let's go find Bella."

Jacob let up a little and gave Nadia some breathing room. He knew Sam was right, this was a dead end. Nadia wouldn't crack. She'd only keep goading him, trying to make him snap. He was just about to completely release her when he noticed a menacing look in her eyes. They were the eyes of a true psychopath. She pulled her hand free and lifted her hand up to his face. She let her finger pass deliberately under his nostril. Of course she'd washed her hands but it wasn't enough. He smelled the minty soap she'd used, but he also smelled Bella's blood and she was letting him smell it on purpose just to rub it in.

He fucking snapped, that was the last straw. He grabbed her with both hands and started choking the fucking life out of her. He'd never believed he was capable of such a thing, but he was; because it was happening. It didn't take too long to do damage, because of his strength, but Sam, Quil and Embry pulled him away and held him on the ground. He was fighting them off the entire time.

"You tried to kill me you bastard," she gagged and coughed on the floor. She pulled out her phone and dialed 911 immediately

She'd been telling him to kill her threatening to do it herself; but she couldn't believe he was actually going through with it.

"Yeah, um my boyfriend just attacked me for no reason. He was choking me until his friend's stopped him. Please hurry, he was trying to kill me," she whispered into the phone.

Fuck, he'd done exactly what she wanted. How could he have been so stupid?

Sooner than he expected Charlie came in. Nadia put on an Oscar worthy performance and before he even realized what was happening, Charlie was handcuffing him and loading him into his cruiser. She yelled and screamed, started tearing the kitchen apart before they exited the house.

He was going to jail and he had no idea where Bella was or if she was okay. He yelled to Sam before leaving to go ahead with the plan. He was depending on his pack to rescue her. It should be him, but he had been an absolute moron. He should have taken Charlie with him when he went back to the house. Instead of working together, now he was on the opposite side of the law. What the fuck would happen to him in jail? He had no idea how the wolf would react being locked up.

An unexpected person came to his cell during the night, "They found her out at the old Cullen place. Charlie's meeting them at the hospital. I think she's hurt, but she's conscious," Deputy Manchini said. "Charlie said to let you know." That was all the guy told him. He still had a lot of unanswered questions, but hopefully Bella would be fine.

* * *

It had been the most miserable 48 hours of his life, but when Charlie opened the door to his cell, he felt like kissing him. "She recanted the whole story. The witnesses aren't talking, so I can't hold you any longer, Jake."

"I can go, that's it?"

"No that's not it. Jacob, you have a serious problem with that temper of yours and I don't want you around my daughter any longer. I've loved you like a son, since you could barely walk, but I won't allow this. Not any longer, Jacob. You can't see Bells and if I were you, I'd stay away from Nadia as well."

"Can you arrest her?"

"No, I can't because there isn't one shred of evidence other than you and your buddy's theories. That won't hold up in court. The Callam County D.A. is a hardass. He won't even consider this case unless we come up with something. The investigation and the interview turned up nil. Get the hell out of here Jacob and get some professional help. I don't want another tragedy on my hands. Your father is like a brother to me. Go see him, so he knows you're alright."

Jacob left the jail, no one was there to pick him up and he was glad for that. His wolf was dying to get on all fours. That's the longest he'd ever gone without phasing, since he was 16 and as angry and upset as he was, it was a miracle he hadn't busted down the jail. He did as Charlie advised and went to Billy's. He got a shower and ate some food Embry had gotten them.

Em let him know Nadia was at her sister's but he still had no desire to go home. He'd sent him after some clean clothes. The imprint pull was surprisingly not bothering him. He thought his anger and hatred for what she'd done helped him with that and he was certain, that when he was fucking choking her, he felt a few more of those chords snap.

He went to bed that night in the twins' old room since he'd given up his room to Embry. Charlie was right, he'd be labeled a fucking domestic abuser from here on out even if the charges never went through. Everyone would know. His side of the story would never be told in the gossip that had already spread through the reservation and Forks. Charlie didn't want him anywhere near Bella which he didn't blame him for. How could he? Even though he respected him, he still couldn't do it. By three in the morning, he found himself at the Swan's front door. He reached for the trusty silver key and let himself in.

He didn't tell Embry or Paul where he was going, but one of them probably sensed it. He didn't plan on staying but when he saw her, he had to feel her again. He slid in between the sheets and pulled her next to his chest.

"Jake," she knew the minute he touched her.

"S'okay, Bells I just had to see for myself you were alright."

"Jacob, are you out of jail for good?"

"Yes, Bells...go back to sleep. I just want to hold you for a little while." he rubbed his hand down the side of her hair and then her arm. He stopped at her waist and he rubbed the skin there under her shirt.

She opened her eyes all the way and stared directly into his eyes. "Do we have any hope left, Jake?"

"Yes, I think we do. It's the only way I'm surviving."

"Me too," she said.

He'd been giving her space, so he stayed true to his word, and didn't make a move. He was truly there only to hold her for an hour or so, but she needed more and she pulled him closer and crashed her lips into his. The hour turned into two, then three. The kiss turned into kiss after kiss. He let her sleep for awhile, but she would wake up to find him waiting for her again. They took turns siphoning what they needed off each other. He wanted to make love to her so bad it hurt, but she was still too vulnerable. He wasn't prepared anyway, never imagining they'd end up like that again so soon. He didn't have protection. Instead they were both satisfied with kisses and touches. He slipped out of her grasp around six before Charlie woke up and decided to have him arrested again. He could be damn sure Charlie would press breaking and entering charges against him if he caught him there. He was going to have to find them another meeting place.

"Bells, the sun's coming up I've got to go." She was trying to pull him back to bed.

"Okay," she kissed his lips, "do you still love me?"

"Of course, silly woman. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Jake." He gave her one last slow, deep kiss. If the sun wasn't about to rat him out. It was powerful enough to lure him back under the covers with her.

"I'll call you, sleep a little while longer okay. You need your rest."

"Is that why you kept me up half the night?"

"No, I think it was the other way around, you kept me up."

She pushed him off the bed after he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

He escaped into the cover of the forest, but someone was waiting for him and he wasn't in the mood for a lecture. Couldn't he and Bella have a few happy moments without interference?

_What do you want, Paul?_

_I want you to stay away from her, same as Charlie and Seth._

_Well, I appreciate your concern but she still wants me, so back off._

_"No!" _Paul asserted himself.

_"Phase back, so I'm not tempted to rip your fucking throat out."_

The two wolves broke apart and met back as men after pulling on their shorts.

Paul was the aggressor even though he knew Jacob could kill him if he desired.

He shoved Jacob as hard as he could, "Stay away from her."

"What's your problem? I thought you wanted this for me," Jacob pushed back.

"No, I don't want to fucking imprint. I don't give a shit about you. But none of that matters any longer. You two aren't good together. You put the 'dys' in dsyfunctional. She could've died because of that psycho you shack up with."

Jacob knew he was right, but he'd be more cautious now that he knew what Nadia was capable of.

"Bella deserves better than this," Paul told him.

"Oh yeah, like Seth, right? Well, I'm not going to deny, he's a good man, but she doesn't love him like she does me."

"What about me?" was the next thing out of his mouth.

"You? You're fucking joking right? You're with a different skank almost every night. That's what she deserves? Besides, I know you're just trying jerk my chain. I've seen how you feel about her. You're like her big brother."

"I was, but if you and Seth don't get your shit together, I'm going steal her right out from under both your noses."

"Like Bella would ever be with you."

"Sure about that?" he pushed Jacob's buttons again.

Jacob actually wasn't sure about anything, and as soon as he was distracted enough by Paul's comment that fucker pulled him by his shoulders and head butted him. He was stunned for a second because Lahote's head was like a brick wall, but he jumped him soon after and he beat that absolute shit out of him. Paul didn't put up much of a fight. Jacob finally managed to stop himself. He stood up and looked at him all broken and bloody in the grass. He'd been played again. He'd bet his left nut, Paul was going straight to Bells before he'd healed up which would be at least a day or two as bad as it was.

Charlie was right, he needed to get a handle on his temper or Bells was never going to accept him. He was battling the animal within but each day he was becoming more and more like the beast he claimed to hate. He left Paul after he saw him getting up, at least he knew he was not permanently damaged. He had to run off some frustrations. Maybe he'd head up to Canada. Who knew? He might get lucky and catch up with one of those leech bastards that kept hanging out north of the Makah reservation. That would be a relief, he hadn't killed one of those demons in a long while and it was exactly what the wolf needed. He'd give it to him, if he had to hunt all day and night.

_**A/N ~ Yeah, I know I said I wouldn't do it, but this is already such a hot mess, I figured what the hell. I threw Paul in the mix too. Kill me or compliment me, I just want to continue to surprise the readers.**_


	24. Chapter 24

**_I was pretty excited Saturday, the views on this little story almost hit 1000 that day, so many thanks. On with the next installment._**

Chapter 23

"This doesn't make any sense. He was happy when he left here."

"Ouch, what is that shit?"

"It's Bactine."

"Well, it burns I don't want any more."

"I need to clean your wounds."

"It's not like they'll get infected."

"Maybe, but you'll heal quicker if they're clean."

"How do you know so much about this hummingbird? It isn't like you've been in the know that long."

"I don't know, but I listen and pay attention and I did some research. Plus at Thanksgiving the glass kept Jacob from healing. Tell me again, why did Jake beat you up, I still don't understand."

Paul had been at the kitchen table for the past half hour while she tended to his various wounds. He'd shown up as soon as Charlie went to work. He didn't want to leave her alone, but she assured him Paul was on the way over.

He told her he let Jacob know he didn't think he should be coming over so soon after her ordeal and this was Jacob's reaction. He was probably right, but the two of them needed to see one another after all they had both been through. Waking up and finding him holding her was the best thing she could have imagined. Charlie told her he had let him out before she went to bed and that was it. Oh yeah, he also mentioned he forbid him to see her.

She had been floating on air when he left, she'd forgotten all of the other stuff. Well, not really, but in the few hours they were together, she had. As soon as Paul showed up, reality came crashing back on top of her. What the hell was Jacob thinking? He couldn't go around beating up people just because he didn't like what they had to say. Of course, he was different, but he still had to function as a member of society. She hoped Charlie didn't see Paul before he healed up. It wasn't like she was protecting Jacob, but she'd heard enough about how Jake had anger problems. Charlie would never excuse this sort of savage beating and what would he think if Paul looked completely fine the next day?

"Are you done?" he'd asked that at least 10 times already.

"No, I'm no nurse, what if I'm doing this wrong? I think I should call Sue," she reached for her phone but he covered her hand with his.

"No, don't. I'm fine. I can feel the bones mending as we speak. Let's go sit on the couch, this chair is killing my ribs." He put his arm around her and she walked with him to the sofa. "Hey, I'm supposed to be here taking care of you, not the other way around. How's your head?"

"It still hurts some, but not near as much as the first two days. Anyone seen Nadia?"

"No, not since she was interrogated. She's been at her sister's ever since. I can't believe they got away with it." Paul thought Jessica was the weakest link. "Maybe the other women, didn't realized what was going to happen. If they felt the least bit of regret for what happened perhaps, they'd turn on her."

For obvious reasons Bella couldn't go near Jessica, but Paul thought he might have some angles he could work. They should lie low for awhile and give them all a false sense of security. That's what Sam had said he was doing with Emily.

Bella answered a text from Charlie and then one from Seth. They were both checking if Paul was there.

She flipped the TV on and put on her usual food shows. "Why are you torturing me? This is making me fucking hungry."

"Well, it's not lunch time yet, but Sue stocked the fridge, if you can wait a little while," she didn't feel like getting back up yet.

"Alright, I can hold out til 11:30," he said and let his head fall back to the cushions and closed his eyes.

"Okay, 11:30 and then I'll feed the puppy," she joked. He kept his eyes closed but his lips curled into his signature smirk.

Paul wasn't the easiest guy to read, but Bella could tell he was keeping something from her. He usually looked her in the eye when they talked. He also joked a lot more with her, maybe he didn't feel like it because he was sitting with her while his broken ribs fused back together and that had changed his mood. She sat there a few minutes more watching the last bit of the program while he continued to pretend he was resting, but she knew he wasn't.

"Alright, spill," she couldn't take it anymore.

"Spill what?" He sat up with a grimace.

"The rest of it, you're not telling me something about the fight."

"You're getting a little big for your britches, hummingbird. No woman as ever assumed they know me, because they don't."

"Well, I do; so get over it. Ever heard of lying by omission?"

"I'm not stupid. Is that what you're trying to do? Prove how much smarter you are than me because of your college degree. I know I'm a fucking rez rat, who works at a garage, but yes I know what lying by omission means," he wasn't being playful with her any longer.

She felt bad for a second if that's how she made him feel, "Paul, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. It's just I thought I could count on you to be straight with me. I need that from you more than you know."

He must have been getting stronger by the second, because he leaned up to rest his arms on his thighs. He was much more mobile than he'd been when he came in the door. "I provoked him. I shoved him first and I head butted him. I also didn't fight back."

"Why in god's name would you take a savage beating like that?"

"So you would see what he's capable of."

"So you enjoy having your ass kicked just to prove a point?"

"No, I never said I enjoyed it; but it worked, right?"

"You're an idiot."

"So that's a yes?"

"I don't know what it is. I swear the entire wolf pack needs psychoanalysis."

She needed to distract herself, so she got up and went to the kitchen to see what all Sue had left them to eat. It wasn't 11:30 yet, but he'd eat no matter what time it was. He followed her. "Is this our first fight?"

"No, I'm not fighting, I'm just disappointed."

"In me?" he asked her.

"Yes, and Jacob," and in herself, but she wasn't going to voice that last part.

"I'm sorry," he pushed his swollen bottom lip out.

She reached in the freezer and pulled out a bag of peas and pushed them against those puffy lips.

"Hold that there, it'll help with the swelling and it'll keep you from talking. It's a win win situation. Now, go back to the couch and rest while I warm up this casserole."

Bella hadn't been up from bed at all the day before, and she was starting to feel it. She sat down at the table while the food was heating up in the oven. She couldn't see his head over the side of the couch, so he must have stretched out. Her phone vibrated.

**sorry about fighting with paul**

**how did you know that i knew**

**because he's a dick and i knew he'd tattle**

**I don't have anything else to say about it**

**bells...**

She put the phone back on the table, there was nothing else to say. Bella made a couple of plates to carry into the living room. She hadn't heard a peep out of him since she handed him the peas. He was asleep, she couldn't believe it. The peas were lying on the floor next to him. He didn't look exactly the same when he was sleeping. His face was softer, and he looked much younger. She set the plates down on the coffee table and knelt down beside him. The two of them were from very different worlds but she felt like he was her kindred spirit, both were damaged goods just trying to survive. Her hand had a mind of its own, because she hadn't planned to touch him. His swelling had gone down so much. The bruising was lighter as well. She took her knuckles and rubbed them over his prominent cheekbones. She let them move a snail's pace and curved them down to rub across that not so puffy bottom lip he'd stuck out at her earlier. Her thumb had just brushed it as well before she retracted her hand. He grabbed her hand as soon as it left his skin. His fingers rubbed the knuckles she'd touched him with and then he straightened out their fingers before they fell synchronously together. She'd never held hands with him. Why would she, they were friends; did friends hold hands? She didn't know. Their relationship wasn't traditional so she guessed it didn't matter, they certainly didn't need a list of do's and don'ts. She needed his warmth, his security, so she pushed up high on her knees so that she could lay her head right over his heart. It was beating so strong within his chest, he sucked in a breath and then she remembered his ribs.

"Oh, sorry...your ribs. Am I hurting you?"

He didn't answer her.

"Paul?" She tried to lift herself back up, but he locked her back down with his other arm.

"Stay, hummingbird. I think I just realized, I'd gladly be hurt by you."

* * *

Bella had been off work, but her doctor said if she was up to it, she could go back Thursday and Friday. She'd done nothing much at home those three days she was off. Paul had stayed with her most of the day Monday. He'd done a number on her that day by giving his confession about Jacob, but things took a turn after she woke him up from his nap. They both a had need for one another, she wasn't sure what it was. She had almost decided it wasn't purely friendship, but it certainly wasn't sexual. She'd given up trying to figure out what to call it, it was simply an anomaly. He had to work the next two days, Seth had Tuesday off and Leah came by Wednesday. Jacob sent a text every morning and evening. He asked how she was doing and said he'd wait til she was ready to see him. At night he'd always text: **luv u bells**

She didn't answer the first few times, but she responded eventually. Seth was taking her to Dr. Thompson and then they were going out for dinner afterwards.

Dr. Thompson couldn't believe what Bella had to tell her about her kidnapping and assault. The two of them went over her blood work. Bella's anxiety medication was going to be decreased, she'd been on the highest dose. It wasn't scientific, but a hunch by both of the doctors. It made sense to Bella. Despite recovering from a skull fracture, she was feeling world's better. Her anger had improved, she was feeling less and less anxious despite her complicated life still was about the same.

Seth recognized she looked tired and wasn't up to a sit down dinner. "Burgers in the truck sound okay?"

"Sounds perfect."

He ordered a couple of burgers and fries and onion rings for them and they had a greasy feast sitting in his truck. It was better than any fine dining experience she'd ever had. She fed him some of her fries and had gotten ketchup on the corner of his mouth. She wiped it with her finger. He took the opportunity and took a sexy little nibble on her finger.

She and Seth had been keeping it platonic for the past couple of weeks, but she wanted to see if that is where it was going to stay for them. Were they going to only stick with friendship or were they going to proceed? She knew he wanted to proceed, but she still wasn't sure. She knew she didn't want to lose him, so she responded to his teasing and she put the food aside. He kissed her as soon as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. Seth's kisses usually started out so soft and sweet, but he'd been denied for far too long and he immediately went for the sensual kiss that they normally worked up to. She was glad they'd driven away from the burger joint and parked some place solitary. Seth's truck was not going to work, because of his size, she thought; but he made it work.

They were doing a pretty good job at fogging up the glass when Seth stopped, to ask her what was on his mind. "Bella, I need it to just be me. Can you make me that promise?" She knew he needed her to say "yes" and she wanted to say it and mean it more than anything, but she knew if she told him that it would be a lie. It was so obvious to her, that her feelings for him had not disappeared, and she'd allowed herself to go further physically with him than they ever had been in the past half hour. It wasn't forced or awkward, she wanted him to touch her. She pushed his hand out of her top countless times before but this time she was the one that put his hand there and if they'd had a bed, she'd probably gone even further with him. Hell, she thought they were going to anyway with or without the bed. It was about time she helped the poor guy out, she'd felt how aroused he was against her leg. But he had to ask that damn question and the mood had been altered.

Seth was oblivious to her internal conflict and he continued to kiss up and down her neck, but he stopped when she didn't answer in a timely fashion.  
"Well, can you?" She nudged him that she wanted to sit up and she adjusted her shirt back down. She reached up underneath and pulled her bra back down and snapped it close. His eyes were big as saucers as he watched her get decent again. His expression started to fall, expecting he'd just ruined the moment for sure and he had no idea he was about to get some pleasure before the night was over, but no way was that occurring now.

She took a deep cleansing breath and then gave him the only answer she could. She lied and said, "Yes."

* * *

Finally, Bella and Kim got their Christmas shopping underway. Bella had a checkup after school Friday and he gave her the go ahead with all regular activities. He cautioned, "I wouldn't run any marathons just yet, but shopping tomorrow sounds fine. Take breaks if you need them."

"Um, yeah, no worries about the marathon." she advised him.

Kim's list wasn't too long, she pretty much had only Jared and his family. Bella asked if the pack got stuff for each other and she said "no". She knew Christmas meant something different on the reservation. Kim had tried to teach how the two cultures were melded together after colonization and the rise of western civilization. She told Bella she'd have to come over and see both of her trees, one represented the traditional Christmas and the other reflected her people's beliefs. Kim said they use to have a party and play the a game with the gifts but that was no more, not since Nadia. Bella wished she could revive the tradition, but this year wasn't going to work. Maybe next year.

Seth was the easiest to shop for, Bella was getting him some things for his house. The first of which was the perfect blanket for the couch which she still hoped to change his mind about. She didn't want the black leather sofa. The blanket idea was cheezy, but it would mean something to him that she got it for them to share at his place. Jacob was also an easy recipient. She searched through Charlie's old albums and found a picture of the two of them when they were toddling around the beach together. She'd dropped it off at the photo place to have it touched up. She also was turning one of their selfies from their afternoon at the cliffs into something special and unique to satisfy the artist side of Jacob. Of course he'd have to keep these momentos at work or at Billy's but at least he'd have them someplace. She thought it was important for them both to have a memory of the then and now. That's why she was having her own copy of both prints made.

The one gift that was giving her grief was the one for Paul. What does a guy like Paul need other than a good kick in the butt? She found out from Billy what Charlie needed, it was fishing related, but Paul completely had her stumped, dammit. It shouldn't be that big of a deal, but she had this feeling he was going to do something so unexpected and out of the ordinary for her, she had to do the same. While Bella was thinking, she saw Kim had stopped in front of some baby clothes. She had a hopeful look in our eye. Bella decided to ask, "You keeping a secret, Kim?"

"Oh, no just wishing...some day soon I hope. Well that is, if Jake will lift the ban."

"Ban? What kind of ban?" Bella asked.

Kim looked around, "Can we go inside to a coffee shop or something. I'd rather not say it out here with big ears hanging out in the shadows."

"Oh, who followed us?" Bella knew their was a wolf in the vicinity.

"Brady."

"Sure, okay, I could use a break."

Bella and Kim got situated in the corner of a coffee shop. Kim chose a table by the window, so Brady would feel at ease and stay outside.

"So spill, Jacob has a ban...it isn't about children is it?"

"That's exactly it. Everyone has to use condoms, every time all the time, no exceptions, him included."

"Well, I know safe sex and unplanned pregnancies should be on the forefront of anyone's mind that is sexually active, but how can Jacob tell Sam and Emily what to use or you and Jared? You two are getting married soon."

"He doesn't want any pups brought into the pack until the imprinting issue is resolved."

"Well, what if that never happens? Kim, seriously, if you and Jared want a baby, then have one. Jake has no say so over what you do with your body."

"But he does about Jared's and it's an order. Jared can't disobey it."

"He alpha ordered the guys to wear condoms?" He never ceased to shock her.

"Yes, and he rarely uses the order, but he won't budge on this one."

He was definitely going to get a piece of her mind for this. She was most definitely relieved he always used a condom with Nadia, she hoped he doubled up, but still this order made him sound like a dictator. It was absurd that he misused his authority in this area. "I'll speak to him, Kim. If you and Jared are ready, it's no one's business but the two of you."

"Thanks Bella. I hope you don't make him mad." Bella wished she made him mad as hell when they discussed it. "Are you about done for the day? You look pretty tired. I don't want you to overdo it."

"I really need to get Paul something."

"You and Paul are pretty cute," Kim giggled and hid her mouth with her hand.

"Cute?" Bella wasn't sure that was the best word for them.

"Yeah, I dunno know what to call it. At first I felt uncomfortable when we went to the Christmas tree farm, but later I thought it was nice. I've never seen him act like that."

"Kim, he's my friend."

"Weelll...if you can love 2 guys; what's so hard about loving 3 and I totally don't mean that in a disrespectful way."

"Because I'm teetering on the edge of sanity and that would certainly push me over. But the shock of what you just asked me made me think of the perfect gift." Bella knew Paul liked star gazing, so she decided to order him a telescope. She shared her idea with Kim.

"But he's a wolf, why would he need that? You know how good they see, right?" Kim had a simplistic way of thinking, but Bella now thought it made her sweet, not annoying.

"Yes, but this is different."

"Sounds expensive, I thought you said he was only your friend?"

"I know, but I'm almost positive no one has ever gotten him a nice thing in his life and I want to do this for him. Besides, I need to spend my money on something, Charlie never lets me buy a thing."

Bella didn't even wait til she got home, she did a little bit of research and ordered it on her phone before they headed back. When Kim drove up, she pointed out the obvious, Paul was there. He was sitting on Charlie's porch. Bella wasn't sure where Charlie had run off to. She told Kim thanks and goodbye and grabbed her bags to meet him on the porch. He looked like he was brooding about something, but she pretended not to notice.

The pair went inside and she flipped on the light. "Your face looks all better."

He didn't respond to that, because he was there to pick a fight. "You know for a virgin, you sure get around."

"What did you just say to me?" She knew he could be rude as hell, but that came out of nowhere.

"You heard me...so, you finally let Seth squeeze the goods, huh?"

She looked at him in disbelief. Sure, he'd told her before Seth had problems with his thoughts, but had he really spilled so many details to the whole pack? "Ugh...he and I are going to have to talk, I don't know why he can't keep our private life private."

"Cuz he's a pup, no control."

"A pup, really...didn't you two phase less than a year apart?"

"Doesn't matter, he'll never catch up and he'll always be a pup to me."

"You still aren't making any sense. So what? I made out with me boyfriend."

"And had Jacob in your bed on Sunday," he was quick to remind her.

"That was...that was, I don't know what that was, but one thing I know is, neither is any of your business," he brought out a fire in her and she didn't hold back with him.

"Just proves my point, you get around for a virgin."

"It's no secret, Seth and Jacob know how I feel." She was trying to justify her actions and all the while she was proving his point.

"Then what were you doing with me on Monday?"

"You? What? We hung out same as always."

"Oh yeah, then what was that thing on the couch when you touched my mouth?"

"I don't know, you looked different sleeping and your face was healing so fast, I reached out and touched you. I was fascinated by it. Why are you acting like it meant something else?"

"Because when a woman touches my face, it only means one thing."

"And what is that?"

"She wants the..." and he had the nerve to look down at his crotch, as if her touching him on the lip had anything to do with that.

"You're deluded." She had a good mind to run upstairs and cancel his Christmas present. He was acting completely disgusting, not himself at all. It was the version of Paul the women at the bars probably came in contact with.

"No, I know what women think, especially about that."

"Maybe the women you're use to, but you don't know what I'm thinking."

Paul took a step forward and she backed herself into the door. Had she really done something to blur the lines in their friendship? It wasn't intentional, and Paul would never see her that way anyway, so she didn't even know why they were arguing.

She lifted her hand up to him again, but this time she wasn't going to be tender. She was going to slap that fucking smirk off his lips.

He grabbed her wrist and shook his head, "No, I don't think so. That's something you don't want to try, hummingbird."

"Oh yeah, that's where you're wrong again. I swear in an alternate universe, I've already done it."

"Well, this is the only universe we're currently in, and you don't want to strike a wolf. You'll hurt yourself, trust me."

"I'm never going to trust you again, Paul Lahote." Maybe her words would hurt him more than her slap.

"I'm done, you're not worth it," he reached for the doorknob.

"What, wait Paul...why are you acting like this? You're leaving?"

"Yeah, you told Seth he was your only boyfriend, right?"

"Um," she stuttered. "Well, I guess. He needed to hear that or I could have lost him and I need him."

"Uh huh, and Jacob...you need him too right?"

She looked at the floor, because that was true more than any of them realized; but she couldn't say it.

However, she did say one more thing, "Paul, I thought we understood each other. You're the one true friend I have right now. Please don't walk out. I thought you understood and I could tell you anything and you wouldn't judge me."

"So what are saying, hummingbird? Do you need me too?" He took another step towards her against the door.

She gently nodded her head and whispered, "Yes."

He put his hand up to her neck and it most definitely did not feel threatening. It bordered on sensual, "Bella?"

"Huh?" was all she could breathe out. He had her paralyzed.

"Has anyone ever told you, you're way too damn needy?"

_**~Thanks for reading. Love you, guys. Sorry, no Jake in this one, but he'll be back in the next update. FYI, for anyone that follows my other story, Innovations; I will not update this one again until I update that story. The next chapter of that one is done, but is still undergoing some editing. **_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Thanks for the reviews. This one is really short by my standards, but I felt like it was the right place to pause.**_

Chapter 24

Her breathing picked up, but they were both still frozen in time. He hadn't taken his hand off her neck and she still hadn't answered his question. They only stood against the door and stared at each other. Of course, she was too needy. She was ridiculous. Why in the hell did any of those beautiful men give her a second thought? Not Paul though, he could not do this to her. It was going to ruin everything, but she was a female and she wasn't blind; he was having an affect on her whether intentional or not.

Thank god, he opened his mouth ahead of her, before she royally screwed up their friendship, "I get it, hummingbird." He took his hand off her and stepped back.

She breathed a huge sigh of relief or was it disappointment? "I...I can't, it's too much."

"I know, but it's an option. You might not have realized that, so I wanted to be clear about it. Nothing has to change, I'm still going to be what you need." He laughed and pretended to rub his palm over her face to wipe away her expression, "Relax, Bella. It's just me. I'll catch you later," He moved his hand back to the doorknob. She wasn't standing against the door any longer.

"Wait, you're still leaving?"

"Yes, but not forever. I have somewhere I need to be." His plans were revealed when he didn't look her in the eye. That had changed between them. Paul no longer boasted about his conquests. He shielded her from it, maybe he was ashamed.

"Oh, okay...well, be safe." That was the dumbest thing she'd ever said to him and when she shut the door, she secretly hoped he'd strike out. She highly doubted that, but maybe the nameless, faceless woman would not get any satisfaction; that'd be justice. Even better, she wished her overly processed hair might fall out the next morning. Bella could have spent all night making a list of terrible events she hoped would happen to Paul's lady friend, but Charlie came home and said he was hungry. She made them some sandwiches. He and Billy were going out very early in the morning fishing and then they were watching football at another guy's house in the afternoon. Seth and Bella were getting together for the day. She wasn't sure what their plans were. She did, however, know she had to do something she'd been avoiding. She sent Jacob a text and asked him to meet her after school Monday to which he responded, "Sure thing, Bells."

Seth came over and had breakfast with Bella. She picked at her food, still feeling the stress from the day before and the day that lay ahead. She wasn't very good company for her new, exclusive boyfriend.

"Something wrong today, babe?" he finally asked between bites.

It was as good of time as any to at least bring up one of her problems.

"Seth, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't be so free with your thoughts concerning me. I don't really want to give all the guys a peep show."

Seth dropped his fork loudly against the porcelain plate. At first he looked rather embarrassed, but then he got pretty irritated. "Let me guess, your buddy, Lahote?"

"Well, do you deny it?"

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to. I'm really trying to be better, but why in the hell did he think he had to say something? He just wants to embarrass you."

"No, I don't think that's the case." Paul actually seemed jealous, but she'd keep that to herself."

"As embarrassing as it is, I'll get some pointers from Leah if that'll make you feel any better?"

"Okay, whatever you need to do, Seth. I'm not mad at you, I'm just shy. You know that."

He sat there shaking his head, obviously still mad. She should be mad at him, but he was the one sulking. He got up to wash their dishes. His back was to her, so walked up and rubbed her hand across his shoulder.

"Seth, why are you so mad?"

"To tell you the truth, I'm still not too thrilled about you and Paul."

"You can't pick and choose my friends."

"I'm not trying to. I didn't say you couldn't see him, but I don't have to like it."

Bella thought the morning was shot to hell and they were supposed to spend the entire day together.

"I need a fridge," he announced.

"Okay, I'll go with you," maybe the change of scenery would do them good.

A few hours later, Bella and Seth were in much better moods and he was having a stove and a refrigerator delivered the next morning. Bella enjoyed browsing the kitchen idea center. She made suggestions to Seth. He kept saying, "Whatever you want or if you like that." He acted like it was up to her.

_Ugh, Seth_...she thought, _it's way too soon_, but then a tiny part of her thought they could have a simple life out there on the corner of the rez, which sounded pretty nice. She knew early on that's what he really wanted. Seth was the "white picket fence" kinda guy. She didn't think he exactly was the keep the missus "barefoot and pregnant" type, but he might be to a degree. She couldn't be certain and wasn't that an important thing to find out before getting so serious?

They had a much better afternoon than morning, but once they got snuggled up to watch a little TV, Seth wanted to take advantage of Charlie being gone. She wasn't as receptive as she was a few days ago and he didn't hide the fact that she was frustrating him.

"I thought you said, you'd wait and always be patient? I don't get it, I'm just not in the mood right now."

"Bella, that's the way it is with you. I never know what to expect: you pull me close, only to push me away. You turn me on and then shut me down. I'm sorry, but the mixed signals are getting confusing. I think I should go," he stood up to leave. He walked towards the door but ended up turning around to come back to her. He knelt down beside the couch and held his arms out to her. She held on tight to his shoulders. "Can we start over?" he asked. "Maybe, tomorrow after school?"

She pulled back so that she could see his face. She started chewing her lip, because she was going to have to tell him why they couldn't get together then. She had planned on telling him about Jacob later. Perhaps, telling him after the fact or in a text was how she thought she'd break the news. She was such a coward.

"Um, I can't, Seth. I'm meeting Jacob."

"What part of exclusive, only me and you, did you misinterpret?"

"It's not what you think, Seth. He and I need some closure. I can't keep ignoring what happened."

"Fine, get your closure, but if that isn't what happens; I'm done," the hardened expression on his face let her know, he meant it.

Seth was the second man in two days to tell her he was done with her. She was getting really good at being a shitty person.

* * *

He was there before her, but he was still sitting in his car. They went inside, before she had a chance to close the front door, he grabbed her and pulled her close.

"Bells, I've missed you so much. Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?"

She had missed him as well, but she had to stay focused to go through with what she had to do. Bella pulled away from his embrace. "Jake, can we sit and talk, please?"

"Of course," he took her hand and led her to the couch. Jacob was ready to talk, but Bella continued to sit there wringing her hands in her lap.

"You're still mad about Paul," he stated.

"Uh, yeah, a little. He's okay, in case you were concerned."

"I know, Bells. I've seen him since," she knew so much went on behind the scenes with the pack, but she thought they might have avoided each other longer.

"Oh," she chewed on her top lip for a change.

"What else? What do you need to say?"

She'd do her favor for Kim first and then she'd tell him what was truly on her mind.

"Jake, don't you think you're overstepping by telling Kim and Jared they can't have a baby. They're getting married on Valentine's Day, and she wants to try right away. I couldn't believe what she told me about that."

"No, absolutely not, Bells. No kids until we get to the bottom of imprinting. Do you honestly think it's fair to bring any children into this mess?"

"What if a child is the only thing that might fix it?" she shouldn't have asked that question, because there was no way to explain it. She'd sworn she would keep the secrets.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

"No offense, Bells. It's my pack, it doesn't concern you. I learned right off the bat Nadia couldn't be trusted when I found one of her pills in the bathroom sink. I would think you'd be happy I'm being responsible. "

"Well, I agree that it's a good idea...it's just, you're going about it the wrong way. You are a leader not a ruler."

"So, is this you asking me to lift an alpha order? Because I happen to know they're all fine with it, even Jared. He's not as gung ho as Kim is and I get what you're saying, she probably would never manipulate him like the others, but the answer is NO!"

"Why does everything have to be so cut and dry with you?"

"Are we still talking about the alpha order or something else?"

Enough stalling, she needed to blurt it out or she was going to back out. "Jake, I can't see you anymore. We tried, and failed. I can't do it any longer, it hurts too much."

A look of shock overcame him, "Bells, come on...I know I've said it tons of times, it's fucked up, but please don't cut me completely out of your life."

"I have to Jacob. I know you're suffering and everything you're doing is so we can be together, but you should focus on yourself. Break the imprint so you can be free from her, not just so you can be with me."

"I was doing that already."

"Not like you are now, though and I can't take seeing you that way again Jacob. We hurt each other, not on purpose, but look what happened.""

"That's because she' s a sociopath and she's desperate to hang on. She knows she's losing me. She is, you know. I stayed gone 5 days last time." Apparently, it was a huge deal when he missed seeing her for days, but Bella concentrated on what went on at their reunions. Those were the things that hurt her the most.

"I've made up my mind and for once, I'm sticking to it."

"Is this about Seth or god...I can't believe I have to ask this, Lahote?"

"Yes and no, and why are you asking about Paul? He's my friend and of course, everyone has been telling me from the start not to be with you. I never listened to any of them. This is about me finally coming to the conclusion that I'm not strong enough to do what you're asking. I can't wait for you, they'll be nothing left if I do."

"Bella, I love you," he brushed his free hand down her cheek and made sure she was looking in his eyes.

"I love you so much Jacob. You're right, I should have never moved. Imagine what it would have been like if we'd been together all these years, but it didn't happen that way and we can't go back. I have to ask if you love me enough to let me go?"

"I'd do anything for you, I'd jump off a building if you asked me to."

"Well, I would never ask something like that Jake."

"Yeah, but it's the same result either way. I'm broken apart inside. Can I still call sometimes or text you?"

"That's not a good idea," she looked away when she said those words. The calls and texts would draw her back in.

"What about Christmas? I made you something, do you not want it?"

"Um, I have something for you too. Maybe we could see each briefly in a few weeks after we've had some time to process this. I still want you to have what I got you and I can't believe you made me something. I know I'll treasure it."

"I'm sure you'll be at Sue's Christmas Eve, she invited me to stop by, so I'll see you then I guess."

"Okay," That was almost 2 full weeks away, she should be fine seeing him for a few minutes while everyone else was around.

It was time for him to leave, she couldn't sit with him much longer. It was too hard to look in his eyes. They were starting to glaze over and she hadn't even try to hide the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. She wished they'd had a chance, so many times she believed they did because she loved him so much.

"Bells, I have to know. What if...?"

She already knew what he was about to say, "I can't answer that because I don't know, it depends on how far in the future it is." She was wondering if that was an accurate statement. If had been 5 days, 5 months or 5 years; she knew if he broke the imprint, it would difficult to tell him "no".

"Well, I'll take that as a maybe."

He squeezed her hand again and helped her up with him. She had honestly expected him to put up more of a fuss, but he didn't. He had been very calm and understanding which made her want to throw her arms around him and kiss him senseless. If this was them ending things, she wanted to experience a good bye kiss. She wouldn't ask for it though, because Seth had told her she constantly sent mixed signals. This would not be one of those times.

They walked to the door and he put his strong arms around her. She pulled herself as close as she could get. He put her face in his hands and leaned down to kiss her lips. She didn't have to ask, he needed the goodbye kiss as well. She melted into it same as always, and he lifted her off the ground. If only, their lives could be as easy as their kisses. Jake held onto her and she felt so safe and protected, like that was the only place on earth she belonged. Eventually, he sat her back on her own two feet, which were never quite that stable, but she was going to have to learn how to be secure on her own.

"Goodbye, Bells,"

"Goodbye, Jake."

He walked to his car and she watched him out the window, just like that first day he'd picked her up from the airport. It was deja vu, she'd been waiting for the moment she'd see him again that afternoon and even though she had just told him "goodbye", she still felt exactly like she had on that first day.

**_~TBH, I'm bummed. Who else is? This fic isn't by any means close to being done. When I started it and planned for 25 chapters, I was as deluded as Paul thinking that any woman that touches his face, wants the D. Maybe, in his case, he's right; but that's a stretch. LOL!_**


	26. Chapter 26

_**I don't know what happened, but I completely shut down for a few days as far as this story goes. (too much pressure) I was worried, I'd lost my muse, but after five days, it returned. This is a rather lengthy update, and it sets the stage for some big turning points in the story. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight is the sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 25

She softly tapped on the door, hoping it was okay to come by unannounced. The smile on the old woman's face when she saw her let her know it was.

"Come in, Isabella. I've been missing you. I wasn't sure when I'd see you again." Kelsee invited her inside.

She put on the tea that Bella enjoyed.

"What brings you out this way?"

"Oh, I was going to help Seth do some more painting in a couple of hours, so I thought I'd stop by. You, don't mind do you?"

"No, come by anytime. I don't get many visitors other than Jacob."

When she mentioned his name, Bella's heart ached, it had been a week now. There had been no contact. The only thing she did know for certain was that many nights, he was outside Charlie's house in the woods. Paul had told her that much.

"Well, how are you now? Better, I hope. I hate that you were injured."

"You mean by Jake's crazy imprint?" She didn't think Kelsee needed reminding what she'd set in motion, but it made her feel a tiny bit better to say that.

Kelsee sighed heavily. "So sorry, dear. Any way I can make it better?"

"No."

"Are you taking care of yourself?"

"What do you mean?"

"Isabella, I'm beginning to think you've never taken the time to get to know yourself. What do you want out of life? Do you have goals you're working towards? What do you like to do, that doesn't involve doing for someone else?"

"I don't know, I still want to teach. I like taking care of my Dad."

"Tell the truth, since you've been back, how many of your decisions revolved around what would please someone else?"

She was going to have to think about that question a little longer. It was a tough one. She most definitely didn't feel like she was selfless by any means or she would have never gotten in such a mess with both Jacob and Seth. It was true, much of her life revolved around other people. It started at a very young age when she had to pick up the slack for Renee. When she lived with Charlie, she spent a lot of time taking care of him ignoring the fact that he lived most of his life alone. He managed all those years without her, but it made he feel useful to cook for him and clean his house. This time around, she was certain there was some guilt involved as well.

"I can tell you're thinking about what I said, which is good. I want you to be happy and you're not completely there, are you?"

No, Bella wasn't but she wasn't exactly sad either. Her emotions were definitely confusing her and Kelsee was making it worse since she questioned her. She took deep breath and let it out. "I'm going to try what you said." They spent a little more time talking about what was going on in Bella's life.

Kelsee gave her a hug on the way out, "Smile, dear, your smile is very beautiful and I hardly ever see it."

Bella forced a smile for her ancient relative and headed back to her truck.

Once Kelsee closed the rickety door, she turned back and something caught her eye. She'd never noticed it before but off the the back left side of the shack, there appeared to be a pathway. It was more like beaten down grass that had been traveled across repeatedly. It was her understanding, Kelsee rarely left the shack, someone brought her the few supplies she needed. This path, though, Bella suspected, was made by Kelsee, and she wanted to know where it led. Kelsee would notice she didn't drive away, but maybe it wouldn't matter to her. She'd be quick, she was too curious to leave without seeing where that trail disappeared to in the woods.

Bella followed it and it was quite unlevel and very obstructed with branches at times. She wondered how the old woman made it down in one piece. Bella could hear water in the distance, slow running water. She made it to the end in maybe a half a mile or so and immediately realized where she must be. This was Kelsee's and Kiyiya's private place, it was where he imprinted on her. No wonder she risked the rugged trek, this was all she had left other than memories. Bella felt like she had trespassed on a sacred site and that she shouldn't be there. She had one last look and was about to turn and head back the way she'd came, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Bella jumped and let out a startled scream.

"Jake, dammit, why'd you sneak up on me like that?" She stepped back and avoided looking at him.

"Why are you out here alone?"

"Um, I was visiting Kelsee and I...I went for a walk. What? Are you following me?"

"No, but you know that one of us watches over you. It happened to be me this morning. You shouldn't be out here in the woods alone."

"I'm not alone since you obviously followed me."

"I was pretty far back giving you privacy with Kelsee. I only came to investigate a few minutes ago."

Bella had the urge to get out of that particular spot with him as soon as possible. She turned on her heels and started walking back without saying another word to him.

"Wait, Bells," he followed her.

Of course, she stumbled and he caught her around her waist. "Slow down, before you hurt yourself."

She jerked from him not liking the way her body responded to his touch and she ran smack dab into a hanging limb. It sliced her skin above her left eyebrow, but she kept walking.

"You're being idiotic, Bells. Are you really that determined to get away from me? Now look what you've done, you're bleeding. Turn around and let me see."

She kept pushing through even though her head stung like a bitch, "I'm fine, it's just a scratch." She knew she was almost at the end of the trail, which meant she could soon be in the sanctuary of her truck. That's all she had to do was get there, not turn around and then she could go to Seth's. Everything would be fine once she got to his house. She reached in her pocket readying her keys for her escape. It was too soon to be alone with Jacob, especially when she felt so vulnerable being in the spot where Kelsee and Kiyiya imprinted.

He snatched the keys right out of her hand before she had the chance to open her mouth and protest. Then he turned her around so he could see the damage to her face.

"Come inside, I'm sure Kelsee has something we can clean that up with."

"No, please no Jacob. I don't want to go back inside. Give me my damn keys and let me go. I'll take care of it when I get to Seth's."

His face wrinkled when she mentioned going to Seth's. He took a hold of her arm, and drug her to the truck. He opened the door and told her to sit. "Don't move, I'll be right back."

How could she go anywhere, he still had her keys. Jacob was inside Kelsee's for only a few minutes and then he came back with some sort of white cloth in his hands.

He opened the door as wide as it would go and stepped inside til his legs were almost touching hers. He put the cloth on her cut.

"Ow," she yelled, "That burns really bad."

"Good, now hold still." He blotted the rag on her and then pulled it away to survey the damage and then put it back. It didn't sting as bad as the first time, but it was still uncomfortable. "Damn woman, do you know how stubborn you are?"

She didn't answer. In fact, she didn't even look at him. She held her eyes tightly shut as long as he was in such close proximity to her.

"Bella, open your eyes. I swear, I never would have believed you could act this bratty."

She opened them after that insult. "I'm not being a brat. Why couldn't you have left me alone?"

He broke out in a grin after her question.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked.

He smiled even bigger and started to laugh a little.

"Stop it, Jake. You're a big jerk."

Then he really started laughing.

She pushed his hand away and turned her legs around to get in position to drive away.

He held up her keys, "Don't you need these?"

She reached out to grab them, but he hid them behind his back.

"Dammit, Jake...I need to leave, give me my keys."

"Nope, not til I make sure you're fine to drive."

"Of course I am, it's only a scratch."

He held up a closed fist in front of her and asked "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"None, you idiot, give me my keys."

"I'll give em to you, but you have to answer one question for me."

"What?"

"Why are you so mad at me?"

"I...I, I'm not. I just want me keys."

"Oh, well, here," he placed the keys in her palm, but he kept his hand over them long enough for her to feel his heat burn around them. She should have pulled back, but she didn't and finally he lifted his hand and stepped away from her door. "Bye Bells, see you next week at Sue's. Have a nice afternoon." He jogged off in the woods and it took her another minute to figure out what she was supposed to be doing. Oh yeah, she was late for her paint date with Seth. She left right after that and drove to his house. The drive was too short and she hadn't cleared her mind yet. She hoped she wouldn't be distracted at Seth's.

"Bella, what happened?" was the first thing out of his mouth.

Her head, she'd already forgotten. "Oh, I ran into a branch outside of Kelsee's. It's no big deal."

He took her to his bathroom and let her see for herself. Of course, it was worse than she'd imagined. It would leave a scar most likely.

Seth cleaned the scrape again. He told her they didn't have to paint if she wasn't up to it.

"No, of course not. It doesn't even hurt."

"Come here, I've got something to show you."

He walked her back into the living room. She'd been whisked by so quickly back to the bathroom, she didn't notice before.

"You got a sofa!" she was so excited because it wasn't a black leather one, it was soft, velvety, dark brown one. It was the one she wanted by never admitted to him.

"How'd you?" he cut her off.

"Leah." She had mentioned it to her, hadn't she?

"Oh well, Seth you didn't have to just cuz I liked this one."

"No, I figured you'd be here with me a lot, so..." he lifted his eyebrows a couple a times. He was so cute. "Come on, sit with me. Tell me what you think?" He pulled her down with him and the couch was just as comfy as it looked.

"I love it."

"Good."

She threw her arms around him and gave him a kiss. He pulled her up on his lap, "We can stay here and forget the painting as far as I'm concerned."

"Or we can get the painting done and then relax together later."

"Kitchen and dining room. How long do you think it'll take?" Seth informed her.

"Not long at all. Then I'll make us some dinner and we can chill."

"I don't have TV yet," he whispered to her.

"Then we'll have to find other entertainment," she gave him one more smacking kiss before she headed out to the truck to get her bag. She'd brought some old clothes this time.

They painted for a little less than two hours. Bella started some dinner while Seth got cleaned up. She had helped him stock his kitchen a few days before, so she had everything she needed to make them some spaghetti which was quick and easy. She decided to clean up next after painting and cooking. They had a nice dinner standing at the kitchen counter. Chairs were next on the agenda, maybe a couple of barstools. Seth insisted she go stretch out on the sofa while he cleaned up the kitchen. She felt like patting herself on the back. She hadn't let the encounter with Jacob alter her mood at all. Once she got to Seth's, she'd let it go and enjoyed his company. They had been pretty playful with one another the whole afternoon, but when he came to join her on the couch, he looked pretty serious.

"Something wrong?"

"No, but I think we should talk about something first."

"Okay," she adjusted her body to turn towards him and she pulled her legs up underneath her. "What is it?"

"Bella, I wanted to apologize for some of the outbursts I've had recently, some of the things I've said to you."

"Seth, I thought we were past all that. It was a difficult time for both of us, but we started over. You don't have to keep apologizing."

"No, I think I do. Not many people are aware of this, but I'm like Leah a little more than I'd like to admit. We both lash out, when we're afraid. You'll never get my sister to admit she's afraid, but I will. I admit it, I was really afraid of losing you."

"Seth," she reached out for his hand.

"It could have easily gone the other way, you could have chosen to stick it out and wait for Jacob." He grabbed on to her hand and linked their fingers together. He looked earnestly into her eyes, "I'm not blind, Bella. You had feelings for him, and I know they haven't all disappeared, but I can tell you care about me as well."

"I do, Seth, I really do."

"Ever since, my Dad, I've put a protective barrier around myself. I guess that's why I never really dated. I didn't want to ever experience loss like that again, but I wasn't truly experiencing life that way. It wasn't til you that I opened myself up, and I couldn't handle the way it was going at times. That's why, this time I mean it, I'm willing to take it slow. I've pushed you and I've tried to rush this relationship. We don't have to do that. I know that now, and I want you to know I'm content with how it is now."

She was so happy to hear his confession. She felt like she needed to accelerate their relationship to somehow prove to him she was over Jacob. It was keeping her insides knotted up, but hearing that he knew she was still dealing with those feelings took some pressure off. She didn't have to prove herself to him. Instead of starting some kind of steamy make out session, because they were all alone, they ended up cuddling on the soft cushions together. They talked about everything imaginable: the pack, Bella's job, their parents' weird relationship, who were Leah's secret friends and if they should make New Year's resolutions. Bella knew she shouldn't make any given her track record, but Seth said he had few. Every once in awhile they'd stop talking a little while and would share some kisses. It ended up being the calmest she'd felt in months. It was reminiscent of when she first started hanging out with him. After hours of talking, she must have relaxed enough that she fell asleep.

* * *

Bella briefly stirred to notice the slightest hint of light coming through the window. She closed her eyes back and snuggled back into the warmth next to her. Warmth? Her eyes opened wide that time. What was so warm in her bed? She pulled her hand out of the covers and started to feel around. That wasn't the fabric of her comforter. She wasn't at home in her room. She was in Seth's house still. Of course, she didn't remember driving home the night before, only laying on the sofa with Seth. He must have sensed she was awake because he pulled her closer.

"Seth," she whispered.

"Huh," he breathed on the back of her neck.

"I'm in bed with you," she stated the obvious.

"I know, I put you here."

"When?"

"When you fell asleep with me on the couch."

"Seth, what about Charlie?"

"I called him, it's fine."

She finally got the courage to face him, he looked exactly the same in the mornings...flawless, but she knew she didn't and he was seeing for the first time that way.

His hand went up in her unruly hair, "This is cute." he patted the puff down a little. She covered her face in embarrassment.

"No, I'm serious, you look adorable, Bella. I could get use to waking up to you," he leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "The cut looks better too."

She relaxed a little, but still was a little confused. "I can't believe I stayed over, and my Dad knows."

"Bella, we're adults. You're going to have to start acting your age, you aren't a teenager any longer."

"I know, but still..."

"Well, we only slept if you feel the need to give Charlie a play by play."

"No, that'll make it even more humiliating. I'll sound like I'm lying."

"Well, it's the truth."

"I know, but no matter what I say, it'll come out wrong."

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

"No, that's okay. Thanks for last night, it was a good night, even if I feel asleep on you."

"You can fall asleep with me anytime you want," and he smiled and that thought caused a stirring in her belly.

She ducked her head into his chest and blushed.

It was true, she needed to grow up. He helped her with her bag and walked her to her truck. He seemed happier than he'd been in awhile and they hadn't even done anything, physical at least. She knew when she left that morning, it was probably the first of many nights she'd stay in the little cottage which finally made her smile.

Charlie was very laid back about the sleep over. He didn't make a big deal about it most likely because he was just as embarrassed as she was about discussing anything that private with her. He looked at her eye, but shook his head and said, "Never mind, I don't want to know."

Over the next few days, she'd stayed alone for the most part. The area finally had it's first large snow, and Seth and Charlie had both been busy with the minor emergencies that brought. There were a few fender benders and a couple of wellness checks on the elderly, nothing major, typical Forks. However, a few days before Christmas, a couple of hikers were reported missing, which made her apprehensive. Seth, assured her from what he could tell, it was simply a case of underestimating the snow accumulations. Hopefully, they were smart enough to find shelter. He let Jacob know just in case something else was involved.

Paul had called her the night before and asked if he could stop by. She informed him she'd be baking cookies to which he quickly responded, "I'll definitely be there."

"They're for Christmas, not all for you."

He showed up early, that day. She was still on her laptop going over her recipes. He jumped in her bed and made himself cozy like he always did. She'd forgotten Charlie was still there, when he stopped by her room to say, "Goodbye." He rolled his eyes when he saw Paul sitting next to her.

"Hi Chief," Paul waved to Charlie.

"Hmph," was the only noise he made and then he left them alone.

"He's really softened up to me, don't you think?"

"Are you blind? He didn't even speak, he still hates you."

"Ouch, hate, that's such a harsh word. Are you sure it's hate?"

"Yep, I'm sure."

"So, hummingbird, we haven't seen much of each other in the past week."

"I know, were you counting the days?"

"Me? Hell no, I...I, what made you ask that?"

She giggled. "Relax, bro...I'm only kidding. We've both been busy, I guess," was her excuse.

"Yeah, well tell it to me straight, sister," she guessed he was going to keep with her sibling theme. "How's your life gotten better since you went Jake-free?"

She grimaced. Leave it to him to spoil the fun. She shrugged.

"It's better, right?"

"I guess."

"He's acting strange," he added.

"How's that?"

"Well, he's not being pissy which is out of character and you must be pretty proud of yourself for getting him to rescind his order."

"Wait, what? Do you mean the alpha order?" she couldn't believe it.

"Yep, we had a meeting and we're all still advised, but he can longer in good conscience order us to do so. Like he has a good conscience," Paul quipped.

"Wow, he said he wouldn't," Jacob could be so mysterious, she thought.

"Well, he did and little Seth couldn't hide his excitement. It was written all over his face."

"Shut up, me and Seth aren't even having sex and you know it."

"Yeah, but he must think that you're thinking about it since you started taking those pills."

She gagged on the water she'd just sipped out of the bottle. "How do you know about my pills? That's none of your business. I didn't tell anyone about those."

He pointed to his nose, which she hated every time he did that.

"Really, is there anything you can't smell?" Did she want the answer to that?

"Nope," he took an extra long, deep inhale.

"Stop it!" she yelled.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you smelling me."

"I can't help it, sometimes you put off some really fucking sweet pheromones. I'm a man, they affect me."

"No, I don't," she was arguing with him for the sake of argument.

"How would you know? Yes, you do sweetheart and I'm not too proud to admit they make me aroused."

She looked at him. He had one of her pillows over his lap. He wasn't serious, he was messing with her. He thought it was funny to make her cheeks get red and see her flustered.

"You can check if that's what you're wondering."

"Ugh, you're sick, I'm going downstairs to bake, you can leave."

He followed in her footsteps. "Why would I leave? I'm here to help."

"You mean get in my way, more like it." She started to push his lip back in, but she remembered where that would direct his thoughts so she put her hand back to her side. "Alright, you can stay, but you've been warned."

"I'll do whatever you tell me, hummingbird."

"First off, no more discussions about my scents. Just because you can tell if Emily's on her period or Sue's menopausal or I'm ovulating, doesn't mean you should broadcast it."

"For a second, you were about to make me retch, but then you said that big word, that means ripe, doesn't it?" He smirked at her and she realized she'd walked right into that one. She took a step back and he took a step forward. Did he always have a devilish gleam in his eyes and why was it so appealing? She shouldn't be like those random women he made swoon, but she felt weak in the knees when he looked at her like that. She was soon backed against the counter and he put a hand on either side, but still kept himself off her. She knew he still messing with her, but the quickest way to get him to stop was with a weapon. She felt behind her and grabbed the only thing she felt. She held up the plastic spatula and threatened him, "Back up, I'm not afraid to use this."

He held up both hands in surrender, "You got me there, no telling what kind of damage you might do with that." He cupped his hands over his zipper, worrying about protecting that before anything else. They both had a good laugh after that and she ended up really appreciating the fact he'd come by to help. Once she finally made him understand the difference between tablespoon and teaspoon, they worked together pretty good. It was nice to have a strong stirrer who didn't tire out. Some of the cookie dough was thick. She was able to accomplish a lot more baking than she'd set out to do. Of course, after each batch cooled, she'd reward him with a warm cookie. Before she knew it, she had dozens of various batches of Christmas cookies to share at Sue's get together.

"Why do you love to tease me so much?" she asked as they were putting all the cookies in containers.

"Because you make it too damn easy, I can't resist."

"So you were joking earlier, about you know?"

He grabbed one more cookie and shoved the entire thing in his mouth silencing his answer, but he winked and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He had to head out for patrol, so she didn't ask again, never getting the answer she wanted.

She went upstairs to clean up and soak in a hot bath. She caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror before sitting in the tub. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair had a fine dusting of flour. "You like it," she said to herself. It was an true confession. She'd blended in most of her life and never felt special in any way. Even when Edward noticed her, she constantly worried it was a fluke and she was undeserving. Of course, she was correct because he finally dumped her. This thing that had been going on with Jake, Seth and Paul, was confusing at best, but they all had paid her a lot of attention. She was sitting in the steamy water and she could admit it, she liked it; no she loved it. It felt nice and she was sure in some weird, twisted way, she'd used all of them. It didn't lessen the fact, her love for Seth and Jake was real, but maybe if she would have not gotten hooked on the attention so early on, she could have been more decisive and not hurt all of them in the process. Where did Paul fit in this? She loved spending time with him, even when he was pushing her buttons. Speaking of, how was he so good at that? She knew the friendship annoyed Seth, but she wasn't about to give it up unless something happened that changed her mind. She rationalized that she was as good for Paul as he was for her. That was the last thought she had before she dunked her head under the water. It was time to wash all that over-thinking down the drain.

* * *

Christmas Eve was very cold and snowy. Seth came to get Bella and Charlie because his truck was better at navigating the roads which were not too bad considering the weather. She had all her gifts boxed up except Paul's wouldn't fit.

"What's in this big one?" Seth asked her.

"It's for Paul."

"You're joking?"

"No," he had a strange look on his face. "Come on, Seth. I wanted to do something nice for him. You know his family never did."

"Probably not, but if he's getting the biggest gift, we're never going to hear the end of it."

"What else is new? So, he rubs it in a little, you're still my guy, so it shouldn't matter."

Seth shrugged, she could tell he wasn't completely convinced, "I guess not."

Charlie repeated the question when they all climbed in the cab, "What's in the that big box, Bells?"

"It's a telescope for Paul."

He and Seth united, "A what?"

"You heard me. Paul likes astronomy."

"I can't believe you spent that kind of money on that miscreant," Charlie added.

"Dad, he's a decent man and he's my friend. Are you ever going to attempt to be a little nicer?"

Charlie grumbled under his breath. She glanced out the corner of her eye. Surely, Seth wasn't jealous, but he did seem to be gripping the steering wheel extra tight and his jaw was clinched. Maybe it was because of the weather. She slid her arm onto his thigh and gave him a squeeze. His face softened and he had a hint of a smile. She was relieved because she certainly didn't want him to start the night out jealous.

The Clearwater's house was packed. Sam and Emily weren't there and neither were Jacob and Nadia. She knew Nadia wasn't welcome, but she thought Jake might have dropped by already. Bella made herself useful right away and helped Sue in the kitchen. Leah had already picked up Bella's contribution to the feast that morning. It didn't take long once the food was set out, for everyone to get their fill. Everyone was sitting around Sue's living room having a good time. It was the first time Bella had seen Quil so laid back. He wasn't with Claire and he seemed very relaxed.

Most everyone started to get ready to leave after a few hours. Only Paul stayed with them. The rest of the pack had left, and Jacob never came by. Bella went off to the side with Seth so they could exchange gifts. He opened her five gifts for him. He laughed at her Regular Show blanket, but she'd also gotten him a nice one to match the new sofa. She got him a few things for his kitchen and a framed picture of them for his room.

"Sorry, I only have one for you." He pulled a tiny wrapped gift out of his pocket. Her first thought was, _Oh my God, it's a tiny box. It's not a ring, it's not a ring, _chanted in the back of her mind. It didn't calm her down though, her hands were shaking when she started to unwrap the gift.

"Calm down, Bella. It's not a ring," he knew her pretty well.

She opened the little box and by that time all eyes were on her including Jacob Black, who had slipped in unnoticed a few minutes before. Inside, there was a necklace with a bright blue flower pendant. Seth smiled because he could tell how much she loved the necklace. He told her the card went along with it, but she should open that when she got home, so that she could concentrate on the meaning of the story.

"Do you like it?"

"Of course, it's beautiful and now you have me intrigued, I can't wait to read the story that accompanies the necklace." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. When she looked around the room again, Jacob had disappeared.

Paul came up behind her, "Can I give you yours from me tomorrow?"

"Sure, but I have yours with me. I kinda want everyone to see you open it."

"Sounds fine with me, hummingbird."

"Seth went to get it for me."

Paul was all smiles when he saw the large box. Bella saw Jake had come back in the room for the unveiling. She walked with Paul to the center of the room. He tore into the paper rather quickly to reveal the hidden prize.

"No fucking way." He looked at Bella and she bounced on the balls of her feet. His excitement was contagious.

Before she could respond any further, he scooped her up off the floor in a giant bear hug. He spun them both around, but still didn't put her feet back on the ground. He continued to hold her in the air. He looked around at the spectators, "See...I told you two dumbasses, she liked me best!"

"Paul," she chastised him.

"Seth, I'm gonna kiss your girl."

"Lahote," Seth warned.

"He's joking, Seth," but before she could insist that he put her down, he did it. He kissed her full on the mouth with his hot lips and because she was talking, her lips weren't even fully closed. Of course, he didn't make it linger, it was quick, but it completely caught her off guard. It had the same affect on everyone else in the room, they all looked to be in complete shock except for Leah. She was in the corner laughing her ass off at the uncomfortable moment. Bella couldn't believe Paul had done such a thing in front of Seth, Jake, and her father. Oh, poor Charlie, he looked horrified.

"Put me down," she lifted her flattened palm to him once again, but he grabbed her wrist as he sat her feet firmly on the floor.

"Not so fast, Bella...remember what I told you about that, but it was a nice touch to make them think you didn't enjoy that as much as I know you did," he whispered to her. A lot of good it did for him to whisper, half the room heard him loud and clear. She smoothed out her clothes and hair, and tried to regain her dignity. Seth didn't look as mad as she thought he might, but she scurried over to him to make sure he wasn't going to get into with Paul later.

"What'd I tell you, honey?"

"He was just excited, Seth and he likes being an ass, you know that? You aren't mad, are you?"

"Naw, but you need to be firm with him Bella or one day he might get so excited he tries to hump your leg. I told you he's just like a stray dog."

She playfully slapped at his shoulder, "Seth."

He gave her a hug and kissed her forehead, "I'm not kissing your mouth to you get rid of Lahote's germs."

She saw Jake still hanging around. It was kind of sad, he wasn't talking to anyone. She wondered if she had conjured him up in her mind. Everyone walked by him like he was invisible. He motioned to her with his head towards the hallway and then he headed that way.

"Um Seth, would it be alright if I say something to Jacob? He and I already..."

Seth stopped her, "Yeah, I know."

"You do?" What did Seth know?

"Yes, Jake and I had a talk. He asked if it was okay, he already had a Christmas present for you. It's alright. Go to my Mom's study, I understand."

Bella was constantly learning more and more about them all. Just when she thought, she had them figured out, they did something completely unexpected. They all seemed to know her better than she knew herself, which was quite exasperating.

"Hey Jake," she said to him because he had his back to the door.

He turned around. "Hi Bells, Merry Christmas. Looks like you've been having a fun night."

"Oh yeah, Paul. He has no manners."

"Uh huh," Jacob was holding back what he really thought about what had happened. She could tell.

"Did you get some food, Jake?"

"Yeah, I made a plate and tried a few of your cookies," he winked at her.

"How'd you know I made them?"

"I just did."

"Oh, well, you can take some home if you want."

She pulled the gift from behind her back. "I had these done awhile back. I hope it's okay, but I still want you to have them."

He took the bag from her and pulled out the retouched beach picture. He smiled, "I remember that day."

"No you don't, look how small we were. How could you?"

"Nope, I remember. I never forget the really important moments and that was the day I knew you were special, like no other girl I'd ever met."

His words spoke directly to her heart. She'd blocked out so much of her childhood, but Jacob was confident he remembered and she believed him now. He pulled out the next one.

"Wow, our first pic on the cliffs. This is really awesome, it's a piece of art, not just a cellphone picture. I'm impressed." The photo place had done an amazing job on it. The colors had all been enhanced, it almost resembled an oil painting. "Thanks, Bells."

So much had transpired, since that day they took the picture. She'd gone back and forth wondering if it was right to give him that, but she knew she wanted to be able to look back and she thought he might too.

He also pulled out a small package out of his pocket. It was wrapped in green tissue paper. "Here's what I made you," he sat the paper in her palm.

She carefully unwrapped it and revealed a tightly woven leather bracelet with the most intricately carved, wooden wolf hanging from the center of the bracelet. "You made this?" She rubbed the wolf between her fingers. How could those large hands make something so tiny and detailed?

"Yes, it's a skill passed on to me from Dad. I don't do it very much now a days, but I really wanted you to have it."

"Oh Jake, it's so beautiful, thank you. I'll always treasure it."

"Can I put it on your wrist?"

"Sure," she handed the bracelet back to him and extended her hand. He wrapped it around her, she could feel him trembling a little or maybe it was her. It took a couple of times before he got the clasp to lock and he rubbed his finger over the spot one last time before letting her hand go. His hand then went to her eyebrow.

"That healed up quick. I don't think it'll leave a scar."

"No, it was much better the next day, thanks for helping out with it. I'm sorry I was such a spaz that day. I just wasn't ready to see you alone yet, if I'm being honest."

"And you are now?" He was standing close, too close. No, she wasn't, but she didn't voice it. She stepped back and made the excuse, she needed to get back and see if Charlie was ready to leave.

He touched the blue flower on her necklace. "The Loyal Sweetheart, I guess it fits."

"What? Seth said there's a story. Is that what it's called?"

He shook his head.

"Jacob, are you okay?"

"Are you?"

"I'm trying to be, I guess."

"Well, I'm not even trying and I don't care."

"Jake..."

"Bells, don't tell me how to cope and I'll do you the same courtesy."

Her eyes fell to the floor. She was stupid to think two weeks would have made much of a difference. "I should go, Charlie's probably anxious to get home." Getting out of Sue's cramped office was the only way she was going to keep her emotions intact.

"Sure, Sure, I'm heading out too." He followed her back into the living room. Leah and Seth were laughing about an inside joke. Charlie was helping Sue clean up. Paul had his nose stuck in his instruction book for his telescope. Jacob looked like he was headed straight for the door, when Charlie made an announcement. "Hold on everyone, I have one more gift tonight."

"What, Dad? " she didn't know what he was talking about.

"It's for you, Bells."

"Me, I thought you and I were giving gifts at home in the morning?"

"Well, I thought everyone would enjoy seeing you get this one. Have a seat, it's a good one."

Paul and Seth ended up sitting on either side of her and Jacob stopped near the door, he hadn't left after all.

Charlie pulled an envelope out from under the tree. Sue looked like she knew what was up, but no one else did. Bella carefully tore one end off the card. She pulled out what she immediately recognized as a ticket. It was a plane ticket.

"Dad, you got me a ticket to go see Mom, oh my god! Wait, two days from now? I'm going to Florida in two days!" She screamed. She hadn't realized how homesick she was for Renee and Phil, but she truly was. They had been her rocks for many years and no matter how many hundreds of faults, Renee had, she did miss her.

"Take you time kiddo, there's more. Of course, the rest was your Mom's idea. I don't much about that literature stuff." Bella dug deeper in the envelope, she pulled out another kind of ticket. It was to a Jane Austen event. Bella had heard of these, she'd researched them before, but one had never come close to home.

"Oh wow! I love it, this is amazing." She, Charlie, and Sue seemed to be the only ones in the room that appreciated what a wonderful gift her Mom and Dad had put together for her, because when she looked around, she noticed Seth, Jacob and Paul looked like they'd been gutted. None of them looked happy for her.

"That's round trip, right?" Paul was the first to ask.

"Of course. I leave the 27th and come back Jan. 2nd."

She turned to Seth, "Did you know about this?"

"No, not at all," he forced a smile.

"You look disappointed, it's only a week, Seth. You had to know eventually, I'd go visit my Mom. I haven't seen her in over 4 months."

"No, I'm happy for you Bella. I'll miss you though."

"Actually, it's only six days," she reminded him.

She heard the front door shut after that and Jacob was no longer hanging around.

Bella forgot all about the brooding pair beside her and ran to throw her arms around Charlie's neck. "Thanks so much, this was such a surprise, and I hate surprises but you did good, Dad. This is great!"

She was exhausted that night when she climbed into bed, but her thoughts bounced around for a little while. If it hadn't been for the unexpected trip back to Florida, she might have spent more time focusing on how her talk with Jacob went. It was evident that they'd both given each other a remembrance, even if no amount of time or space would ever allow her to forget.

_**~ Thanks so much my loyal and faithful readers.**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**Wouldn't you know it, as soon as I posted the last chapter, fanfiction went down for a few hours. I hope everyone got the notice, I updated. I really wanted to get this one out to you quick, since it's short.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer.**_

_**I searched far and wide for a story that might appeal to Seth and Bella shippers. This is a real legend I found and credit goes to Glenn Walker's Indigenous Peoples Literature.**_

Chapter 26

The Loyal Sweetheart

* * *

_Long ago, in a village beside a river, there lived a beautiful girl whom many a young man wished to marry. But she smiled on all alike and encouraged no one. Her name was Blue Flower._

_Among her admirers was a young man who was especially skilled in hunting. For many moons he looked upon the girl with longing, but without any hope that he could win her favour._

_At last, one autumn, she gave him reason to hope. And so he dared to consult the old woman of the village who carried proposals of marriage. He wanted to know his chances before he departed on the winter's hunt._

_To the young man's great joy, the marriage-maker brought back a favourable reply from both the girl and her father. The message made him determined to win even greater fame as a hunter. He wanted to prove to the girl's father that he was indeed worthy of so beautiful a daughter._

_"Will you wait for me until we return from he winter's hunt?" he asked her._

_The girl gave her consent to his plan and her promise to remain true to him, whatever happened. She added the promise, "If you do not return, I will remain a maiden all my life. I will never marry any other man."_

_So the young man completed his plans to join the others of the village on the long winter's hunt. On the evening before their departure, he and the girl had a final canoe ride on the river. Then he sang his farewell in this love song of his people:_

_Often on a lonely day, my love,  
You look on the beautiful river  
And down the shining stream._

_When last I looked upon you,  
How beautiful was the stream,  
How beautiful was the moon  
And how happy were we!  
Since that night, my fair one,  
I have thought of you always._

_Often on a lonely day, my love,  
You look on the beautiful river  
And down the shining stream._

_When we paddled the canoe together  
On that beautiful water,  
How fair the mountains looked  
How beautiful the red leaves  
As the gentle wind whirled them!_

_After the winter snows,  
When spring has come once more  
We will paddle again together.  
Then the leaves will be green,  
The mountains fresh and fair._

_Often on a lonely day, my love,  
Look on the beautiful river,  
Down the shining stream,  
And know that spring will come._

_Next day, the hunters departed. The old men, the women, and the children settled down to finish the autumn's work of preparing for the winter._

_Not many days afterward, a war party attacked the village and destroyed it. They carried away as prisoners all the young girls. Among them was the promised bride of the hunter. When the warriors reached their home territory, they persuaded, or forced, many of the young women to become their wives. But Blue Flower refused to submit. The warriors threatened to burn her alive. Still she refused. She preferred death to breaking her promise to her sweetheart._

_The warriors complained to their chief and asked that she be burned at the stake. But he would not listen to the cruel counsel of his men. Instead, he gave the girl a longer time in which to make up her mind. Her bravery greatly impressed him. He would save her life now, he thought, and marry her later to one of his best warriors, in order that their children might become a race of heroes._

_Weeks passed, and the hunters returned. When they found their village in ashes, they knew which war party had struck. The young hunter, singing his vengeance song, gathered a host of warriors and started northward. They surprised the largest village of their enemy, killed many people, and took others as prisoners._

_When the fighting was over, the victors and their friends who had been held captive by the enemy were reunited. There was great rejoicing. Perhaps happiest of all were the young hunter-warrior and Blue Flower, who had remained true to him in spite of threats and promises._

_The young man, still thirsting for revenge, wanted to torture and burn the enemy that had been taken prisoners. But his sweetheart stopped him. She reminded him that they had not treated her cruelly._

_She was a gentle and peace-loving girl, as well as a loyal sweetheart. In a short time, she became a loyal wife._

* * *

Bella had read the story at least ten times when she woke up that Christmas morning. It was a beautiful legend, but surely Seth wasn't meaning it applied to her. She felt she'd been anything but loyal and she certainly did not exhibit that sort of bravery. She decided he was merely sharing a beautiful love story with her to accompany the blue flower pendant.

Charlie and Bella had a relatively quiet Christmas Day together. She cooked a small ham for them with a few sides. Of course, she'd called her Mom early to go over the surprise trip. It had also snowed a little more throughout the day. Once Bella noticed her Dad drift off in his chair after lunch, she decided to get busy packing. She'd need a completely different wardrobe at Renee's. She had left some of her things there, so she could pack light. Hopefully, she'd get it all in a bag that she could carry on.

She walked down the stairs with a load a laundry and saw a face peaking through the window. She remembered he was bringing by her gift. Bella dropped the clothes on the floor and went over to let him in rather than making him stand out in the cold any longer. As she was opening the door, she glanced back at Charlie who was still out in his recliner. Hopefully, he'd stay asleep a little longer.

"Merry Christmas, Paul," the two hugged as soon as he stepped inside.

Bella pointed back to her sleeping father and he knowingly shook his head. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up towards her room. He didn't waste any time, as soon as they got into her room, he pulled out a small, wrapped gift. Bella noted the theme, all three of them had gotten her something small.

"Open it, I've been dreaming about the look on your face when you see what I got you."

"Aw, Paul, you dream about me."

He, for once, looked shy and embarrassed.

"Did you wrap this?"

"No, I paid extra for the wrapping."

She thought it looked rather pristine with perfect edges and hidden tape.

Bella continue to open it and realized it appeared to also be some type of jewelry judging from the black, hinged velvet box. Her fingers tingled slightly as she flipped it open. She sucked in a breath, because it was perfect. There wasn't a more perfect item he could have gotten her. Inside, there was a delicate silver ring. On the top, a hummingbird with spread wings was perched in the center. The tail and the wings were inlaid with turquoise.

"Paul, this is so perfect. I love it."

"I knew you would. This way, you'll never forget you're my hummingbird."

"I could never forget, but I'll still wear it always."

"Here," he pulled the ring out and reached for Bella's right hand. She stretched her fingers out. He slid the ring easily on her ring finger. It was a perfect fit.

He kept her hand in his and they both stared at how the ring looked on her finger.

"Bet you never expected, I'd be the first guy to put a ring on your finger, right? I am the first, aren't I?"

"Yes, you're the first."

"Good," was all he said with an assured look on his face.

They ended up in a tight embrace. Paul kept his face very close to her neck which sent an electrical current down her spine. She wasn't in a hurry to pull back, she felt safe and comfortable in his arms. "I wish you weren't leaving," he spoke when he finally released her.

"Why? It's only a few days."

"I know, but I'm use to always being able to see you whenever I want."

"Well, you can still text me and maybe I'll have time to call once or twice."

He still seemed apprehensive. Bella had also gone over this with Seth, who acted the same way the night before.

She took Paul into the kitchen to feed him, and Charlie frowned when he saw them come down the stairs. Guess, he wasn't as sound asleep as she'd imagined.

Paul told her he was anxious to take the telescope out, but since it was winter, he might have a little bit of a wait for an unobstructed view of the sky. He made Bella swear, the first night it was clear, she'd come over and they'd stay up all night looking at the stars. She agreed and even grabbed his hand and linked their pinkies, "I swear."

Seth spent most of the day after Christmas with her. She was completely ready to leave early the following day. He was going to drive her to the airport. She had an 8 am flight which meant they'd leave very early, before dawn. He seriously brought up safety with her. "Seth, you realize I lived there for five years and didn't have a single vampire encounter. It's sunny Florida, remember?"

"I know, but Jake said we should go over a few things."

"Jake?"

"Yes, come on, you know he oversees your protection details. It's hard for us wolves, we've grown accustomed to protecting you. It's in our nature. I'll drop you off and I'm pretty sure Paul is your pick up because I have to work that afternoon. Text him when you land and wait to go outside til he says he's there."

"Seth, you're making me nervous."

"Good, you can never be too careful."

"No, I don't mean because I'm afraid of anything going wrong. You're making me nervous, because the pack is taking this too seriously. It's an airport, very public. You all should take it down a notch. Tell Jacob that's my exact response. I'm going to enjoy myself for a few days, you all should enjoy the break."

Seth finally stopped talking about safety procedures, and the two of them watched a little TV together. She hadn't pointed it out, but he finally pulled her hand up to get a closer look.

"Lahote," he brushed his thumb over her hummingbird ring.

"Yes."

"Oh," she noticed his eyes glance at the charm the hung on her wrist as well.

"That's it, 'oh'," he was upset, she could tell. Technically, getting jewelry from not one but two other men was pretty personal, but he had no reason to worry.

"What else do you want me to say? I'm sure you don't want to hear how I think he has some weird obsession with you."

"Obsession?" that was a horrible word to describe it. "I'm the only woman that's ever treated him as an equal. We don't use each other, we're good friends."

"It's fine, Bella. I know you're friends. I accept it. At least, I know he will always protect you, but sometimes he makes it seem like it's something more, just to fuck with me. I shouldn't let him get to me, he's been like that since I was 15."

Bella changed the subject when she asked Seth to help her take down the decorations. If she waited for Charlie, it would never get done. The tree would be a pile of needles when she returned home. She boxed up the ornaments and lights and Seth pulled the tree out back to where Charlie could burn it in his brush pile later. Seth left early so she could get to bed, four AM would happen before she knew it.

* * *

"Mom," Bella ran to her mother when she spotted Phil's head above the crowd. They met up near the exit of the Jacksonville airport.

Bella hugged Renee and Phil and then they headed out to the lot where they parked. Renee was already commenting on how pale Bella had become living in Forks.

"Mom, I've always been fair."

"Not that fair," she insisted. Bella looked down at her arms, which looked the same to her.

Of course, Renee and Phil had overly sun-kissed skin. Renee had lightened her hair up once again to hide the gray she insisted she did not have. It was a short drive back to their house. Renee and Bella were going to the Jane Austen event in a few days. The college and the Fine Arts center were sponsoring it. Bella was shocked her mother had a ticket as well. She said she wanted to spend as much quality time with her as possible. There were endless hints dropped that she could move back. Although, Renee noted that Bella seemed much more extroverted and she thought it suited her.

They spent the first day outdoors. Bella took a walk on the beach in December and it was great. She didn't even need a jacket. Her mom had tried on several occasions to get her to talk more about her romantic life, but she tried to be evasive when she could.

"So this Seth, he's your final choice, do I at least have that right?"

"Mom."

"And he's younger right?" Renee would love to imagine Bella was a cougar like herself.

"Yes, but only by four years, so don't get overly excited."

"Pictures, sweetie show your mother a few pictures."

Bella pulled out her phone and watched her mother drool over Seth for the next 15 minutes.

"Oh, Bella no wonder, you picked him. What a hottie?"

"Thanks," like she could take the credit for Seth's good looks.

"I need to see the other one you were in the love triangle with, Billy Black's son. Do you still have a picture of him?"

"Mom, we weren't in a love triangle and why do you need to see Jake?"

"Come on, Bella. I missed out all those years. We never had girl talk about boys. Give me a little indulgence."

Bella probably should have gotten all the pictures of Jacob off her phone, but she still had them. She tried to flash one in front of her mother, but she snatched the phone away.

"Oh my, these are the kind of men you attract now? I see why you were confused. Honey, you want my advice?"

"No, not really. I'm good."

"Well, I don't understand why you had to make a choice so soon. You're young and beautiful. There's no reason to get tied down to one man right now. After your father, I spent several years trying out all sorts of men and it was eye opening. Let me tell you." Bella was not about to endure this tale again, she'd heard it before, unfortunately.

Bella covered her ears, and started chanting, "Lalalala."

"Bella, stop that. Are you really that immature that we cant talk about sex? You're a woman now. I presume with your own sex life." Bella knew she presumed wrong, but she was not exactly the same as she'd been when she lived with her mother.

"Yes, Mom I'm still very immature, so please don't discuss any portion of your sex life with me. I can't handle it."

"Answer one question for me. Are you being responsible?"

"Bye Mom, I'm going to get a shower," she shut the bathroom door and locked it to flee her mother.

Bella washed her sandy feet and took an extra long shower hoping to avoid another inquisition from Renee. She came out of the bathroom with no such luck. She was waiting on her.

"Bella, who's Paul?"

"What? How do you know about Paul? Nevermind, he's a good friend."

"Oh well, he called."

"He did?"

"Yes, and do you always store nude photos of your friends in your phone? There might be hope for you yet, girl."

"Give me that," Bella snatched her phone out of her mother's hand. Freaking Paul, he put a picture of himself with his contact. He wasn't nude, she squinted to look a little closer. Was he? No, she decided it was his usually attire, those low hung shorts made it appear that he was.

"What the hell do they feed the boys on the reservation and you're sure, he's only a friend?"

"Yes Mom."

"Oh, Jacob Black sent you a message too. I guess you two are still friends?"

"Mom, you went through my phone?"

"You never changed the passcode. I saw it light up, it could've been important," Renee rationalized.

Bella remembered her doctor in Jacksonville made her give all her passwords to her mother when she was really having problems.

"I'm going to lie down," Bella used the excuse that she was tired, so she could see why Jacob would send a message.

Turns out he was simply checking on her. They weren't supposed to be communicating, but one reply led to two and before she knew it, she'd carried on a lengthy conversation with him just like old times.

Bella made sure to check in with Charlie, Seth and Paul later, as well. Renee and Phil took her out to dinner that night and since Phil was present, Bella had a reprieve from all the relationship questions. They mostly discussed Bella's job and how Charlie was. Apparently her mother and Phil had enjoyed their new freedom that didn't revolve around babysitting her. They'd taken two big trips in the past few months. She was happy for them. It seemed to be working out better for everyone that she lived in Washington again.

The Jane Austen event was better than Bella expected. Renee was bored out of her mind, but she pretended it wasn't too bad. There were a few reenactments, that were like mini-plays and lots of memorabilia. Bella read every description, and studied each piece. They stayed the whole afternoon. She hugged Renee that night and told her how perfect it all was. She promised to come visit again in the summer. Phil said they really would like to plan a trip to Hawaii and of course, they wanted her to join them. It sounded great, she hoped she could make that a reality. That would make for a lively conversation with Seth and his friends.

The six days flew by and before she knew it, she was on a cramped airplane with a screaming baby beside her and hyperactive kid behind her that wouldn't stop kicking her seat. She was very anxious to exit that aircraft when she heard the announcement they'd be landing soon. Bella saw Paul had texted her when she turned on her phone. He was almost there.

She got her bag and headed to the door to leave the terminal. His text was almost 20 minutes ago, so he'd be out there waiting on her. Her phone buzzed as soon as she got outside, but she had scanned the area and didn't see him.

"Hey, where are you?" she asked.

"Are you still inside?"

"No, I just walked out."

"Go back inside, some dumbass had a wreck about three cars in front of me. I'm trying to get around it, so wait until I text you."

She was fine with going back in. She could go sit down in a seat indoors and grab a hot drink, it was freezing out there. Florida was a memory, back to reality.

The next few occurrences were literally a blur. A firm hand grabbed hold of her arm. She attempted to pull back thinking someone had her confused with someone else, but no such luck. Fingers gripped her tighter and she was pulled so quick, she thought she came out of her shoes. It felt like she'd been lifted off the ground. Her mind caught up with what was happening and she was about to scream, but she realized she was shoved into the back of a car before a sound made its way out of her throat. A familiar smell filled her nostrils, and she snapped her head to face her assailant, "No, no, no; this can't be real."

_**~Thanks for reading. **_

_**Cliffy again? You can't be serious? Yep, I am. It's a good one, I promise.**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**The story continues...**_

Chapter 27

"Alice, what the hell? Alice, what are you doing?"

Alice Cullen was sitting beside Bella pulling off her black gloves and peeling back the scarf that was wrapped around her head. She was bouncing up and down on the soft, leather seat like an excited child.

"Just look at you, Bella. You've matured, you're a woman now. Oh, you look wonderful, just like I pictured you."

Bella glanced in the rear view mirror to see Jasper's hesitant grin. "Afternoon, Bella."

"Stop the car," she insisted.

Jasper looked back to his mate, "No, keep going, Bella and I haven't talked yet."

"You want to talk, that's why you kidnapped me?" Kidnapped again in a short amount of time, by a different person, was this really Bella's life?

"Silly, we haven't kidnapped you, it's just...do you have any idea how hard it is to find you alone? What is the story behind the friends you keep nowadays? Wolves, really Bella, don't you know they're dangerous?"

"How do you know about my friends?"

"Bella, we still know all about you, Edward wouldn't have it any other way."

"Edward?" for the first time in months that name caused her chest to ache.

Bella did a quick look around at the passing scenery, they were not on the way back to Forks. "Where are we going? Do you have any idea the kind of trouble you're asking for? My friend was almost there to pick me up and when I'm not there, he'll alert the entire La Push pack. Jacob doesn't honor the treaty any longer. Alice, you need to let me out of the car this instant. I'll call Paul and tell him where to get me."

Bella reached for her phone but Alice snatched it from her, "None of that just yet, Bella. Honestly, are you going to be quiet and listen? I'm here to protect you." Alice explained.

"Protect me? No thanks. I've got plenty of that 24/7. Give me my fucking phone back, Alice."

"Wow, you've definitely developed some poor habits. I guess you picked up swearing from those wolves you call friends." Alice held Bella's phone and she could see the screen light up every few seconds. The calls were coming in. The blue light was flashing at the top, so were the texts. They knew already. All Paul had to do was step out of his truck and he would have smelled her. This was going to end so badly.

Jasper continued on his course at an accelerated speed taking her further and further away from home. She continued to plead with him to stop and Alice chirped on seemingly ignoring her. She acted like this was some mutual meeting where they would catch up on the past few years. "Alice," Bella screamed again. "I have to go back."

"NO! Bella that's just it, you can't go back. Forks is not a good place for you. I had a vision and you were crying."

"Um, I don't know how much you've checked, but I've been crying for almost six years, it's not a big deal. Thanks, for your concern but I don't need it."

"No, it's more than a big deal. It was a terrible scene, you were inconsolable sitting inside a little white cottage with green shutters. If you go back, something will happen that will destroy you."

Weird, Alice described Seth's house to her, but still the crying excuse was lame. Alice's visions couldn't be trusted according to Kelsee and she trusted her way more than the vampire.

"Edward says it's time anyway. He's given you long enough to experience life and mature."

What? What fantasy world did they all live in? She knew they were not normal, but this sounded delusional.

"Alice, Edward left. He and I were over a long time ago. What do you mean, mature? That's rich considering he's frozen at 17."

Alice explained it in detail almost too quick. Bella thought she was missing some of the key details, but in the end she heard her loud and clear. They were there to take her to Edward. He sent them for her and he expected her to join them in Alaska with the Denali coven. Bella came unglued, she was done politely asking Jasper to stop. She started kicking his seat as hard as she could. She banged her fist into the back window til her knuckles bled, which wasn't the smartest thing to do considering Jasper's history. Lucky for her, he seemed to have better control.

"Bella, stop it before you injure yourself further. Edward would be upset with me if I had to restrain you, but I will for your own protection."

Finally, Jasper attempted to be reasonable, "Darlin, maybe we should rethink this. Bella truly doesn't appear to want to join us. Edward said she wouldn't need to be forced, but that's not the case."

Bella saw Alice look at her arm and she tucked it under her other arm. The scar was covered by her long sleeves. Alice squinted her eyes together, "Show me."

"Why?"

"Because, I need to check something."

Bella freed her arm and rolled the sleeve of her jacket up slightly.

"What did you do, Bella?"

"It's none of your business. I get it now, you just ratted out your brother by the way you're acting. Now I know, he did that to me on purpose, didn't he? It's gone," she held it up for Jasper as well. "Sorry to disappoint you all, Edward no longer has any sort of hold on me. Jasper, since you're the only one that seems to be reasonable, don't prolong this any longer. Stop the car and let me go."

"No, Jazz." Alice held up her hand. "Bella, you have no idea what the wolves are capable of. When you hear the truth, I know you'll want to come with us. He hunted them, they weren't a threat to anyone, but he tracked them and he murdered her."

"Alice, I have no idea what you're rambling about."

"Carlisle said it was the leader. Benjamin described him to us all."

"Who's Benjamin?"

"He's a close friend of Carlisle's from Egypt. He came to stay with us and Irina was teaching him how we survive. None of the Denali's feed on humans. She'd been taking him on hunting expeditions in various remote areas. He was going to become like us until that savage beast surprised them one night. They fled, but he pursued them relentlessly. Benjamin saw what he did to Irina. He had no mercy even though he knew she wasn't a threat. He ripped her to shreds in front of him. She was begging for her life."

Bella wished she didn't have to listen to this story, but she wasn't going to talk about Jacob with Alice and Jasper. If he did what she said, he did it for a reason.

"Bella, don't you get it? He's more of a monster than we are and you want to go back to live among them?"

"Alice, it's what he was born to do, he protects humans; all vampires are his natural enemy." Bella had to defend him, because Alice was wrong. Jacob was not a monster.

"They weren't anywhere near his tribe, and even Benjamin hadn't fed on a human in weeks, since he'd been in America. He barely escaped. He gave up, you know, went back to Egypt and back to his old ways of survival after what he saw. Any human that dies because of him is blood on the alpha's hands."

"That's a lie. You're wrong about everything, and no, I still have no desire to go with you." Bella leaned in towards the seat, "Jasper, they're coming and they'll show no mercy. I swear it, do you know how outnumbered you'll be?"

Bella could tell the car started to decelerate. Thank god, he was going to heed her warning.

She extended her hand in front of Alice one last time. Bella grabbed the phone, the last call on there was from Seth, so she hit the call back.

"Bella," he sounded frantic.

"Seth, I'm fine," she assured him even though Alice's golden stare was still trained on her.

"But Paul smelled one of the Cullen's."

"Yeah, but they're letting me go, Seth. It's a big misunderstanding." That was a lie, and they all knew it.

Jasper stopped the car at a small gas station. Bella looked up at the road sign, "Hoodsport, Seth. I'm at the lake road, North Lake Cushman Road, road 119." What in the hell? Was Jasper going to drive them in a circle? She had no idea. At some point, she figured they would have tried to board the ferry if they really planned to take her to Alaska.

"Okay, I made an excuse to leave work, I'll phase and let them know, the rest of the pack is on the way; but they had no idea which way you went since they left in a car."

Bella put her hand on the door handle to leave the car, but it was still locked. Jasper unlocked it. "You better leave as fast as you can, Alice."

"Bella, what do I tell Edward?" was her last question.

"Nothing...tell him I have nothing to say to him and I don't ever want to see him again. All of you better watch your backs and don't ever think about coming to the area again."

Bella wasn't sure if what she was saying to Alice registered. She looked oblivious to anything Bella had said during the whole ordeal. If it hadn't been for Jasper, she knew Alice would have never let her go. They had come full circle from that birthday party when he wanted to kill her, because she was crediting him with saving her life today.

Bella was glad she had a little bit of money in her pocket, she went inside and got a coffee. Hopefully, her bag was still safe back at the airport. She didn't have anything else with her, but about ten dollars and her cell phone. Seth didn't mention Charlie. She wasn't sure if she should call him or not. He was working and probably expected her there when he got home. Hopefully, he didn't know there was any reason to be concerned yet.

She felt like she was being suspicious wandering around the small station/bait shop. She kept watch out the window, because she really didn't want to stand outside in the cold. After the longest 20 minutes of her life, she saw him emerge from the woods. She threw the coffee in the trash can and ran to meet him. Paul picked her up and held her tight in his arms.

"Hummingbird."

He was her best friend, her protector and her rescuer all rolled into one. She couldn't let go and he didn't either. He brushed her hair down with his hand and he rested his chin on her shoulder. She felt him breathing heavily against her and then a few trembles went through his body. He must have smelled them on her.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yes, now that you're here," he sat her back on the ground and checked for himself. He grabbed her hands, and questioned her with his gaze. "Banging on the windows."

He smirked, "You fought back, gave em hell, right?"

"Of course," he pulled her into his side with one arm.

"Collin will be here with my truck soon, do you want to go back inside?"

"No, I'm warm enough next to you. Who's out there?"

"All of them except Seth, he's going to meet you at Charlie's and Collin's driving."

"Jake?"

"Yeah, he's just waiting til you're headed back and then we'll go."

"Go where, Paul?"

He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead, "Hummingbird, I don't need to spell it out for you, do I?"

"You all are going after them?" she knew they'd want to but she was still shocked that's what they intended to do.

"We have to."

"But I have no idea where they live. You can't search then entire state of Alaska."

"Wanna bet?"

She was worried. She wished they could all forget it happened. It didn't seem safe for the wolves to be so far from home in unfamiliar territory. The Cullen's with the Denali's would have the advantage. She wasn't sure of the numbers they had. She didn't want anyone to get hurt or worse. The pack might misinterpret her pleadings. They might have thought she was still defending the Cullen's. It was true, she believed Carlisle was a decent man and Esme had always treated her kindly. Edward should be punished for what he'd attempted, but maybe hearing her rejection would be enough. She couldn't believe that his abandonment was some sort of grand plan of his. She shivered to think, she was willing to die because of it. She had to stop them, as soon as Collin got there, he'd whisk her away.

She pulled away from Paul and marched to the woods determined to reason with Jacob. He grabbed her arm, "No, Bella, you don't need to be out there."

"Jake," she screamed, but she didn't see any sign of any of them. "Jake, come out and talk to me."

"Hummingbird, Jake can't talk to you right now."

"Why not? He just needs to phase back. Jacob, I need to see you."

"No, Bella, listen to me. You can't be around him right now, he can't phase back, now come on." he pulled her arm to lead her away from the forest.

She turned around once again, "Jacob Black, you can't go after them. It's too dangerous. Jake, I know you're listening to me. Forget what happened. I told them I don't want to be with them, it's over. Let's all go back. Come to Charlie's if you want. I'll tell you everything. Jake..." he wasn't going to listen to her.

She gave up and started back to the parking lot with Paul, she saw Collin turning in. A crack of a limb sounded behind them and she turned around. He was hiding most of his massive body behind the brush. It was the first time she'd seen him as a wolf since the day he revealed the truth to her. She froze and observed how his eyes scanned every inch of her. She felt stripped in front of him for some reason. She'd lost her nerve now that he was facing her, and she took her eyes off him a second to look at Paul. He disappeared as soon as she glanced back. Paul shook his head, "Come on, you need to go home, before Charlie gets off. He doesn't know anything happened. We thought it was better that way."

"Paul, come back with me," she begged.

"I can't."

"Okay, well, then convince Jacob, they're not worth it. I just want to forget it happened." How many times was she going to have to repeat that?

"I'm sorry, hummingbird, we're never going to forget; not this time." he shut her passenger door, and she turned to Collin.

"You ready, Bella?"

She nodded, but she wasn't. She wasn't ready for anything that might happen. Damn, Edward for putting them all in this position.

Seth was there like Paul said he would be. She was so relieved to see him. At least, she knew he was safe. Collin took off as soon as they exited the truck.

Bella told Seth everything that had occurred, she left nothing out. His face was void of all emotion. She knew he had to be more than upset, hearing how Edward left her with venom on purpose, and how he thought she'd willingly return to him. He took care of her hands and kissed each and every knuckle.

"I have to leave as soon as Charlie gets here," he confessed.

"No, stay with me," surely she could count on Seth to listen.

"I can't." Exactly what Paul had said.

"Seth, the Cullen's are with the Denali coven. They have a personal vendetta against Jacob. Alice Cullen told me he killed one of their own a few weeks ago."

"I know," he confirmed. Why had no one told her up until now?

"You knew he killed one of them? She wasn't a human drinker, did you know that?"

"Yes, Bella, we all know. Vampire kills are always discussed within the pack. It doesn't matter to us, they don't deserve to walk among humans."

"There's no way you all can manage this. It's your jobs to protect the reservation. You can't disappear to a whole other part of the country."

"Bella," he silenced her with a kiss. "Don't spend any more time worrying about this, we're going to do what we have to do."

Bella heard Charlie's cruiser pull in. How was she supposed to pretend everything was normal? Why did they all have to be so damn stubborn? She would not be able to handle it if one of them got hurt. This was all her fault. Her only solace was that Alaska was the largest state in the nation and she hoped wherever the Cullen's were, they were well hidden. Eventually, they'd have to tire out and give up was the the reality that finally allowed her to fall asleep that night.

* * *

Bella's wishes had almost come true. It was a huge undertaking and 2000 miles away from home proved to be a huge endeavor. Jacob reluctantly sent back most of the pack including Seth. Paul was gone several days. He did tell her they got more accomplished as humans than wolves. They were digging, using Seth's knowledge in law enforcement, and they knew they'd used the ferry in Vancouver. He seemed confident that they were going to find out a detail eventually that would lead them straight to them rather than mindlessly searching the endless miles of wilderness. Seth was planning a trip to Vancouver soon in hopes of getting some security footage. Bella never ceased in her pleadings. She knew Jacob was back in town, he called a meeting almost everyday. Bella had to go back to school, and resume her normal life. She couldn't understand why everything couldn't go back to the way it was before. Paul told her it wasn't possible. If they snatched her once, then they could do it again. She was the only one that didn't consider the Cullen's an eminent threat. The truth was she was much more concerned that Nadia roamed free after what she'd done and she was irritated the pack had not paid her the same amount of attention.

By the end of January, it seemed to have settled down a little. She and Seth finally had gone out to dinner and he was like his normal self. However, when he let her know, he was leaving for an overnight trip to Vancouver that weekend, they ended up having a fight.

She'd been having after school meetings everyday with Kate, since there was a chance she wasn't staying on til March. Her doctor thought she was overdoing it. Charlie had a busy day of paperwork to catch up on at the station and Saturday seemed like the best day to do that. Seth was gone and Paul told her Jacob had left him with a line of cars that had to be serviced. She was going to take advantage of the total peace and quiet and do absolutely nothing. The house was clean, and she had made food the night before. She was taking the day off from everything. She'd taken a long soak in the tub after she woke up that Saturday and she put on her yoga pants and soft t-shirt. She grabbed her book and mug of hot tea and made herself comfortable on the sofa. She sipped her tea and read for awhile.

_Tap, tap, tap,_ the glass on the front door rattled. Bella startled, her book was on her chest. She must have drifted off. After sitting up, she saw a shadow at the door. So much, for her day to herself, she wasn't sure who was knocking, but she went to the door. Bella unlocked the door and swung it open to reveal Jacob was on the other side. How long had it been since he had said a word to her or she saw him? It had been weeks, which in reality had pissed her off. She knew they weren't supposed to be talking, but she wished he would have, at least once, discussed the Cullen's with her face to face. She had a good mind to slam the door in his face. It definitely was what she should have done, but she didn't.

"Bells, can I come in?"

_**~Thanks for reading.**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer**_

_**You all have been some of the most patient readers ever. I truly appreciate each and every one of you. I actually got over 1000 views in a day after the last two updates, which made me smile.**_

_**Depending on who you are; this is either the moment you've been waiting for or the one that you've been dreading. Either way, the story continues...**_

Chapter 28

Bella extended her arm and took a step back as she pulled the door open further. He quickly stepped inside and shut the door. It took a minute before either of them said something. She was taken a back by his appearance. His hair had grown out some and was a mess like he forgot to comb it out. He had some dark shading under his eyes that usually was not there. She could tell he was barely sleeping.

He raised his eyebrows at her and clasped his hands in front of himself. "So..."

"Yes, Jacob, do you have something to ask? Why are you here?"

"Um, yeah, I guess it's past time, but I want you to tell me about what happened the day Alice Cullen snatched you from the airport."

"Are you kidding me? I asked you over that day, it's been almost 3 weeks. I know for a fact Paul and Seth filled you in." She went back to the door and opened it up again. "Bye Jacob."

He pushed the door closed again, and twisted the lock. "I don't think so."

"Jacob, she grabbed me, acted like I should be happy to be going back to Edward. I told them to let me go, they did. You've blown this completely out of proportion. Look at what you're doing to your pack. Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? You look like hell."

He had come in rather meek, which wasn't his style at all, but that would soon change. She'd pushed all his buttons. "Out of proportion? You can't be fucking serious, Bells," he said with a raised voice. "Bloodsuckers grab my...um, grab you and try to force you to live with them. I have every right to act the way I'm acting. My pack is fine, they know what they need to do."

"So you're going to hunt them all down and kill everyone of them, because of Edward's delusions?"

"Do you really want the answer to that?"

"Jacob, why are you really here? I don't want to fight about the Cullen's with you. We could spend the whole day going in circles, we'll never agree."

She was tired of standing by the door, so she returned to the couch. He followed her. A voice inside her head barely whispered, "Make him leave, he needs to go right now," but she ignored the voice. She turned to look at him, he'd sat down in the middle of the couch, but he wasn't touching her.

When she took a deep breath and really looked, looked beyond the hardened expression he had mastered, he looked like a broken man. There had been one turmoil after the next since the two of them fell in love with each other. To all others, it was proof they were hazardous to each other's well being. She continued to stare, and realized it meant something totally different to them. Despite all the crap, all the other people they were involved with, and even the weeks apart, it still had not extinguished their love. She knew she still felt the same, and the way his eyes bore into her soul, she knew he did too.

His next move caught her completely off guard, he fell into her lap and she could feel his body slightly jerk every few seconds, he was silently crying. She took her fingers and started to rub them through the thick strands of his hair. "Jake, it's okay. You're safe with me, I'm still here for you."

He lifted his head slightly, and responded, "I'm so tired, Bells."

"I know you are."

"Not like you think, I'm tired of being without you. You know this isn't working, we still need each other." his head collapsed again and she continued to rub his scalp.

She assumed she'd only comfort him. Who else could he be vulnerable in front of? No one: not Nadia, his father, the council or his pack. Even at his job, he was the boss. Jacob always had to be in charge, no wonder he was so depleted.

His body shifted to the floor, but he left his head against her stomach. She moved her legs out of the way to accommodate his body. She continued to hold his head, sometimes she'd rub across his shoulders. He'd not uttered another word after his declaration and he was perfectly still. She wondered if she'd put him to sleep until his hand moved to the side of her leg and slowly burned it's way down to where her pants stopped mid-calf. He started rubbing her bare skin there.

She took a deep breath, trying not to read too much into it. After all, she'd been rubbing his hair, neck and shoulders for the past 15 minutes he was in her lap.

She tried to sit there a few more minutes and continue to fool herself that them touching each other was nothing more than comfort, but when his other hand slipped under her shirt, he lifted it slightly and pressed his warm mouth against her stomach. She knew something else was starting. Okay, she had allowed it to start, but could she put a stop to it, before they got out of hand? Bella knew that if she pushed his head up, he would've gotten the picture and he would leave. Instead she arched her back, which pushed her body closer to his face. His lips kissed every couple of inches at her waistband and she let a few noises escape her lips. Finally, she was honest, and said something,"Ahh, that feels so good." Her words all came out like a breathy moan.

Of course that spurred him on, "Good, but I'm just getting started." He lifted his head to stare into her eyes. The look said it all she shook her head slightly giving him the go ahead. He rose up higher on his knees, she opened her legs wider and leaned forward. Jacob was kissing her again. It was just like she'd remembered and she realized how much she'd missed it. His lips controlled the movement of her own. She didn't think she could kiss him deep enough to satisfy her craving for him. She'd been denying it for too long. His memory still lingered in the air every night she fell asleep at night.

Jacob put one knee up on the edge of the sofa and she pulled him down towards the cushions with her. Bella pulled his lip between her teeth and his tongue met hers inside her mouth. A growing desire was making its presence known within her. She felt an ache between her thighs. It felt like she'd been denied what her body had craved for weeks. It could have been compared to an overwhelming thirst like one feels after getting overheated.

He was most definitely overheating her and like he could read her thoughts ahead of her, he pulled them up off the sofa because they both needed more. He carried her up the stairs without hesitation, one arm under her shoulder and one just past her butt. She kept peppering kisses to his chest. He really needed to lose the shirt. It was the first item of clothing to disappear when he sat her on her bedroom floor. She pulled hers off in the next breath. She thought they were headed straight to bed, but he lifted her up once again. This time her legs clinched around his torso and he pressed her against the door. His mouth possessed every portion of her mouth and then he left her lips, so that he could adore every part of her he could reach while still supporting her against the door. His tongue left a blazing trail on her collarbone while his fingers worked magic over the silky fabric that covered her left breast. She moaned at the sensations and he pressed his hips into her pelvis. Fire and desire ignited her center. She still needed more and he was ready to give her precisely that.

She was the first one to reach for the zipper of his jeans. He smiled against her neck. They moved from the door and he walked them to the bed. He playfully dropped her on her back, but she didn't stay there. Bella pushed up on her elbows, Jacob had stopped moving. He was standing there staring at her. Was he stopping or was he letting her have a chance back out? She crawled up to her knees, to face him because there was no way she wanted him to leave. They'd fooled around several times in that very spot but it was always in the middle of the night. This was a totally different atmosphere, in the light of the day. There was no reason to be afraid. They'd been leading up to this moment longer than they knew. Without any further hesitation, she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. All the modesty she normally had was non-existent, this was Jake and there was no shame between them. No one had ever made her feel like that.

His hand reached out to touch her, "You're so beautiful, Bells."

"Jake," she didn't know what else to say to him, but her hand traced the line down the middle of his abdomen. His eyes were held closed once she touched him. He dug in his pocket and pulled out the black foil wrapper. He tossed it over her shoulder and it landed on her pillow. She turned to see where it went, and to make sure it was what she thought it was. Why that little sneak. Had he planned this? He had to have known she'd be alone today.

She flipped her head back to look on him again. He shrugged, "Just in case, you felt the same way I was feeling, are you mad?"

"No," she shook her head. His jeans were already partially undone from before, so all he had to do was pull them down. _Wow_, was what she thought but she didn't want to sound as inexperienced as she really was. They'd been up close under the covers, but he was definitely something to behold. Her fingers reached out to tentatively grazed him. Who knew her delicate touch would have cause such a reaction in him?

He hissed between his teeth, and clinched his eyes shut again. They'd been going in slow motion since her threw her on the bed, but after a little bit of shuffling from his feet to escape his jeans, he climbed on the bed with her. Both his strong hands pulled her yoga pants and panties down in one swooping motion. His finger dipped into her and he made the obvious observation, "You're ready for me, Bells."

"Yes, always. I love you, Jacob."

"I love you," they both positioned themselves higher up in her bed, she was glad she'd been lazy and not made her bed that morning. He hovered over body next, and then proceeded to build their passion back up by kissing her. They were getting back into a frenzy again. There were no hesitations this time, she wasn't about to tell him she wasn't ready. This time she knew she was, the doubts had all been erased. His hand sought out the wrapper, but his mouth never left hers; she heard him open it. Part of her wanted to remind him of her birth control pills, but it was probably best to still use the condom. His palm pushed her thigh further, she willingly opened further for him.

This was it, she felt him right there, but he asked one more thing, "Is this what you really want, Bells?"

Of course it was, why did he feel the need to ask? He was so close to being inside of her. She nodded and dug her heels into him and pushed his hips with her hands all at once. Her breath caught it in her throat, shit, it hurt. She should have let him go slower, but it was too late now.

"Bells," he wasn't moving yet and he kissed her deeply again. "Relax, honey, its okay. I love you, I love you so fucking much, honey." He kissed her a couple of more times. She took a few deep breaths. Without a doubt, she felt so full; like she didn't even know she could be that filled, but the burn was not as painful and she was ready to try moving.

As soon as she shifted her pelvis upward he took over. She caught on fairly quick. They moved in sync with one another. She figured out what made it feel better, when to hold still, when to move with him. Her foot moved up and down the back of his thigh, his hand went under her. When he did that, he'd put her in exactly the right spot.

He must have sensed it, "Yeah, just like that. Let yourself go, I want to feel you come around me."

Jake's sexy bedroom voice and the constant stimulation of his pubic bone hitting against her caused her to fall over the edge. If that would have been it, she would have been completely satisfied. She held on to her high for several thrusts, but lucky for her, he had lots more to give. This moment was nothing like the many dreams she'd had. The reality was, she could not have conjured what it really would be like until she was experiencing it firsthand. His hand holding onto hers while he kissed her was delicate and sweet, but his movements within her were forceful and demanding. How did he do that? It was like being in two places at once. They went on like that for quite a bit longer, but on her third orgasm, he joined her. Heat, sweat, and gratification covered her. Her mind was finally catching up to what her body had just experienced. _Jake and I made love_, was what she told herself. He pulled out and he took his weight off her. She felt like she was being deprived of oxygen for a second without him there any longer. He layed next to her for a few seconds. He caught his breath way before she steadied hers. He hopped up and held up one finger, but he was back from the bathroom before she had time to miss him.

They were on their sides facing each other. He held her face in his hand, "You okay?"

"Yes, I'm perfect."

"I already knew that," he laughed, "But are you still hurting?"

"No, I feel too good to hurt," was her answer.

He pulled her against his chest. Should they discuss what it meant, what they'd done? Here they were, supposed to be staying away from one another, but they'd just committed the ultimate act of love. Sure, many people had sex and that's all it was...a physical act. She knew that sex between them was so much more, but she couldn't describe all the implications.

"Hey," he pulled back just enough, so they could see each other's faces. "You know, we have nothing to be sorry for. Some things just can't be denied, Bells and I needed you like I need air to breath. This is between us, no one will ever understand...only the two of us know what it means."

"I can't live without you Jacob, but I don't know how to keep pretending with the rest of the world."

It's what she knew they were going to do. He didn't have to spell it out, this would happen again. They would keep it a secret. She immediately figured out ways she could compartmentalize it. Everyone was against this, with good reason. She wasn't willing to come clean to Seth. He would be destroyed, but she still convinced herself there was something good between them. How could she be good for him? She was sleeping with another man, but she pushed that thought aside.

Jacob noted the time, Bella expected Charlie within the hour. She didn't want him to leave her ever, but it was their reality. He gave her a few instructions. The condoms were a must to mask the scents at least a little bit. Bella spent a lot of time around the pack now. Jacob told her to wash everything, take a really long shower. He even told her to flip the couch cushions downstairs and to Febreze the whole downstairs. Good God, by the time he was finished, she felt like she'd taken part in a crime and was covering it up. There was some truth to that and she knew it. He promised her, he'd find them their own spot, being at Charlie's was too risky. She pulled the sheet around her and accompanied him to the door.

They kissed one last time, "It's going to be alright," he promised.

She shook her head like she believed him, but was it really? Could they make such a promise? They were starting up a secret affair, and they resided among a supernatural species that had acute senses. To top it all off, Jacob shared his mind with them. When he shut the door, she let her body slide down the wall. Her eyes were closed, _whatever it takes and damn the consequences_. She pulled herself together and got busy with the tasks she needed to accomplish in a very short amount of time.

In the bathroom, she swore her reflection asked her, "Who are you?"

She faced the image, "I'm Jacob's." The truth was both haunting and exceptional, but she refused to take a step back, she would only move forward.

_**~Thanks for reading. Mad or glad, let me know.**_


	30. Chapter 30

_**~A/N My deepest apologies for taking so long to get this out. I tried to hit each and everyone of you back last chapter. That was my most reviewed chapter ever, so many thanks to all of you, including guest reviewers. I went on a small vacation, so writing was halted for awhile and then I still wasn't able to get back to it right away. I'm happy to announce I'm three chapters ahead now, so depending on when you want them, I'll get several out to you this week. The emotions were mixed last time, I knew they would be. All I can say is, the story isn't over yet and whether you are getting your favorite pairing or not, please keep reading if you've enjoyed it so far. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer.**_

Chapter 29

Bella had been texting with Jake constantly that evening, but they weren't going to be able to see each other til maybe after school Monday. Seth had called and told her he found something of interest, but wasn't going to talk about it til he saw Jacob. She felt like she might be ill when she first saw the incoming call. The right thing was to come clean, of course, but not over the phone. She was pretty sure she wouldn't though and that's the reason her stomach started to hurt. What was so hard about being honest? When it came to Seth, she was so confused. She really didn't want to lose him completely. If he knew about Jacob, he would have totally abandoned her: friendship, boyfriend, anything. She wasn't strong enough or maybe she was too selfish. Perhaps, a little bit of both.

Jacob told her Seth found several addresses linked to a partial plate he got of security footage where the ferry docks.

"Some Eleaz something, don't know if it's a man or woman."

Bella said, "Eleazar is a man." She had heard the name once. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to hold onto the info, in case I need it; but I've changed my mind. I'm not going to risk any member of my pack. We don't know enough about what they have up in Alaska. Don't more than one of those vamps have special powers?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure of who or what, other than Edward or Alice?"

"Okay, but if you ever hear anything out of them: a call, a text, and email...anything; tell me immediately. If one of them steps foot in Washington, that's it-they're done."

She breathed a huge sigh of relief. She had an overwhelming feeling of doom since she knew the pack had been hunting them. Hopefully, Edward would move on. It seemed like Alice did whatever he wanted. She would be the one to try and make contact if anyone would. She hoped it never happened for all their sakes.

Seth came by after he got back to town Sunday evening. She met him at the door, both happy and apprehensive about seeing him. He grabbed her for a hug, but when his lips sought hers, she turned at the last minute. If wasn't intentional, but she couldn't so soon after...after Jacob. _Nice one, Bella; way to act suspicious._

"You okay?" was the first word out of his mouth after he sat her down.

"Sure, come in."

"You're still mad at me, aren't you?" Seth held his palm against her cheek.

"No," how much worse could this be? He was worried she was mad at him. It was so complicated. She wasn't regretting being with Jacob, but she did regret the pain it would cause anyone else; except for Nadia. She secretly wished she could rub it in that bitch's face. Nadia, and the councill were all convinced it was impossible for an imprinted wolf to be intimate with another. All this madness and jealousy on Nadia's part was about her close relationship with Jacob. It was because he chose to spend time with her, and wanted to be with her. He and Bella were mutual with their feelings. Nadia couldn't stand that he reminded her that is all the two of them were, a forced relationship.

"Bella...Bella," Seth snapped his fingers in front of her face.

"Huh?" she was jolted out of her trance.

"What went on while I was gone?" he asked.

"What? Nothing, what do you mean?"

"Calm down, I'm only joking. It's just, you seem so spacey and that's not like you. Sure you're alright?"

Bella changed the subject, and invited Seth in. She immediately went to the kitchen and started making him a plate. She assumed he'd not eaten decent food while he was gone. They sat at the kitchen table together while they both ate. Well, he ate, and she picked at her food. Why couldn't she behave normally? He kept looking at her weird. She panicked, what if he smelled Jacob in the house? Had she not done a good enough job with her cleaning? Charlie had commented about the cleaning scents in the air. He wondered why she wasn't taking the day off like she had claimed she was going to do when he got home yesterday.

She knew Jacob's decision already, but she couldn't let on she was now privy to the information. "So, Seth...did you find out anything in Vancouver?"

"Yes, but Jacob did a 180. He doesn't want to do anything anymore. How unlike him is that? I don't know what to make of it, but I can't say I'm completely disappointed."

"So you did agree with me?" she faced him fully for the first time since he got there.

"No, not exactly. I would like to make those bloodsuckers pay, but I didn't have a good feeling about it and if we lost one of our own; you would have been eaten alive with guilt."

"You know I would have."

"Well, I guess we'll all have to be extra observant and super careful where you're concerned." He smiled ear to ear at her. "I'll keep you glued to my side if that'll keep you safe."

"Seth..." he was such a good man, he deserved so much more than she was giving him, but she still got up and climbed into his lap. She focused on switching all her compartments around, the ones she'd built for self-preservation. She pulled the one up she needed, the "I'm Seth's girlfriend one" and she apologized for acting weird. He guided her to the couch and she told how much she'd missed him. He told her the same thing. She did mean it. She was becoming a skilled liar, but when she told Seth she loved him, it was always the truth. It wasn't enough, but it still was not a lie. They stay cuddled up close on the couch til Charlie came in from fishing. Both she and Seth had to be up early, so he left soon after.

* * *

Bella remembered something Kate had mentioned once, she decided it was worth asking. During their break, she asked her, "Um, Kate, doesn't your husband work for the parks department?"

"Yeah."

"And once you said he and his family rent out cabins, right?"

"Oh, yeah they have 2 large ones and 1 small one, but we don't rent them out too much in the cold months...why?"

She could trust Kate, at least, to a point, but she was still a little afraid to ask.

"Bella, are you wanting to rent a cabin?"

"YesbutIwantitforawholemonth," she finally blurt it out.

"Okay, sure I can do that for you, I can even give it to you half off, because we never rent the small one out that long; but girl, you are going to have to spill some details. What's this about?" Kate put down what she was working on to give Bella her full attention.

"I...I, live my Dad, you know?" everyone knew that, and she could not stop her voice from already sounding guilty.

"Yep. This is about a guy, isn't it? But Seth; doesn't he have his own house?"

"Nevermind, Kate. I'm sorry I kept you from your work today. Just forget I asked."

Kate reached out and grabbed her arm before she could push away from the desk. "Relax, sweetie. I'll shut up and I won't ask again unless you volunteer your secrets. The cabin's yours as long as you like. It's open til the second week of May. I won't tell anyone, not even Reese."

Bella left her comfort zone and did something she rarely did. She reached out and gave Kate a huge hug. "Thanks so much. I'll never forget this. Um...when can I get a key?"

"Come by after school, I'll give you two keys and the directions."

"Oh, okay, I can go get some cash and pay you for this month, I mean, February. I know there are still a few days left this month, is that okay?"

"No worries, these last days of January are a gift and you can give it to me whenever. I trust you."

Bella excused herself to the restroom before the kids came back in. She hid in a stall to send the text.

**can u meet me today after 4:30?**

**yes...where?**

**i'll let u know, b on standby ily**

**huh**

**I love you, silly!**

Bella was pacing back and forth on the wooden floor of the tiny cabin wondering if she'd done the right thing. He was going to be there any second. She knew he'd probably be early. She had made it at 4:15. The cabin was easier to find than she'd expected. It was rustic, but not completely primitive. It was one open room with a small kitchenette, a sitting area and table and a bed. A bed that she couldn't stop staring at. She'd essentially, just rented out a secret love nest for her and Jake for the next month. She had the promise of keeping the hideaway for the next 3 1/2 months if she wanted it. Surely, this private affair wouldn't be going on that long or would it? Once they started it, what was to stop it? Even if she finally did the right thing and let Seth down, Charlie wouldn't approve. The whole town new he was with Nadia, unless they broke up-translation: broke their imprint. It wouldn't look right for the new stand-in Kindergarten teacher to be having an affair out in the open. She was about to come to the conclusion, this was an insane idea and leave when she heard him tapping on the door.

As soon, as she opened the door and saw the expression on his perfect face, she pushed aside her thoughts. What had she even been thinking about?

"Bells, what is this?" he walked in without hesitation.

She chewed her lip, thinking about how to answer that, "It's our own spot, like you said you'd find; but I found it first. What about that?" She jumped into his open arms and he spun her around.

"I think that's pretty, fucking amazing, Bells. How'd you get it?"

"Kate's family rents them."

"Shit, I know Reese. Does she know it's for us?"

"No, well...I don't think so. She promised not to ask questions, and I trust her. No one knows."

"Well alright then, it's time to quit all this talking." His lips found hers, "I've been missing the heck out of you for the past two days." He started walking them backwards closer and closer to the bed.

"Wait, Jacob..."

He looked worried, "What?"

"I, I have some questions."

He dropped the concerned look and seemed amused, "What kinds of questions?"

"Um, well. I'm new to all this and I want to make sure you're happy with me."

He pulled her into his lap at the end of the bed. "You're joking, right?" He started kissing her neck as his hand slipped inside her shirt.

She nudged him away, she wasn't done talking or humiliating herself. "No, not at all, Jake. It's important to me that I know what pleases you."

"You! You please me, Bells. It doesn't matter if you are covered head to toe in clothes or stripped bare in front of me, you please me by simply existing. I can't believe this is real." She kissed him that time. He broke the kiss and added, "although, being stripped makes it even easier for me to be pleased." He winked at her and put his hand back up her shirt. "There, you happy now? There's nothing to worry about, so take that lip out of your mouth and get rid of that worried expression on your face."

"Well, I've Googled some things," her cheeks started to burn. This was starting to be even more embarrassing than she'd imagined.

"You don't say, honey. What'd ya google?"

"Um, stuff..."

"Really, could you be more specific? I don't know what 'stuff' means," he joked. "Aw, sounds like you're going to make me guess. Well," he pushed her back to the bed and didn't waste anytime, extricating her from her pants. "Was it anything like this?"

He tossed her pants off to the side and held one of her legs in his hands. He place few kisses to top of her foot. She was supposed to be building up the courage to show him what she had learned but he had turned the tables on her, so to speak.

He continued to take turns asking her "Was it this?" between kissing up the side of her leg. He went all the way up one leg and then moved on to the other one and he was moving painfully slow. Finally, she'd had enough.

"Dammit, Jake, stop teasing me and do what you're going to do before I scream."

So he did and he did it good. She couldn't believe what he did to her. She covered her mouth, worried that she was being too loud.

Once he'd removed her legs from the death-grip they had wrapped around his head, he moved up her body, kissing her flushed skin every step of the way. When he reached her mouth, he pulled her palm away, "No, I want to hear you, honey. No one else is anywhere near this place. I already checked the perimeter." He kissed her mouth deeply. "I love you," he whispered after releasing her mouth.

"You too," she replied. He was trying to position himself between her legs, but she put a halt to that, "Not yet...your turn. Roll over."

He obeyed her which really spurred her on. She wanted him to let her take charge sometimes even if she felt inadequate in general, this sexual awakening was making her feel empowered. She slid down his muscular legs, but once she got there she closed her eyes, still a little embarrassed to look at his reaction. She took a deep breath and did what came natural instead of concentrating on what she saw on the Internet. Her touch alone caused a heated response in him. He made a humming noise and moved his hands to her hair. That was the only encouragement she needed. She had to taste him, like he'd tasted her. It was so arousing, so deeply erotic and he was right, hearing the pleasure noises out of his mouth made it even more sexy. Was she sexy enough for Jake? He convinced her that she was. He seemed happy despite her novice approach, but only after a few minutes, he stopped her.

She looked up feeling anxious she'd been wrong and he wasn't liking it after all. He shook his head, "Too much, Bells...come here. I need you right now."

She scurried up his body and without a second thought, she straddled his hips. He pulled the familiar wrapper out, but she snatched it from him and did the honors. He looked pleasantly surprised, before she carefully slid down on him inch by inch. Jacob grabbed her by the hips and set the pace she wasn't sure she could keep up with, but she more than willing to try. His grasp was firm at first, but he released her once she had a rhythm of her own. His hands moved to her breasts and his dark eyes bore into her soul. This position was rewarding in more than one way. It felt so good what he managed to make her body do, but watching each other, enabled her to also see the love he had for her. How the hell were they fooling anyone? She felt like the love they had for one another was as evident as a lighted billboard on a lonely stretch of a dark road. She felt it seep out her pores. He changed it up and flipped them over, barely even slipping out of her.

"Love you, Bells," he kissed her neck making her clinch her thighs.

"I love you so much, Jake," she gasped for air between the words before pouring her love out in another sloppy, open-mouthed kiss.

He pulled her left leg up higher, under his arm and gave her instructions, "One more time, Bells. I'm almost there, come with me." She let her head fall back and she closed her eyes shut for the few minutes as the sensations built up again.

"Jake," she cried out. She opened her eyes to his as she clamped down on him. She held on as tight as she could to his shoulders the entire time. She observed all the sensations: tingling that ran down her legs, his twitching inside of her, the weight of his body and the rush of adrenaline like she'd jumped off a cliff. This was perfect, being with him was pure and perfect as long as it was just the two of them. He finally moved off of her and she felt it again, that sudden loss when her body was no longer joined with his.

He spoke up first, "Okay, forget that I laughed, you can Google whatever you want, Bells."

She giggled into his side and he kissed the side of her head. It felt so nice to lay there with him afterwards. She wondered what it would be like if they could stay together all night. They might have the cabin for a meeting spot, but their time would always be limited if this was still going to remain secret. She was already way past time, she'd normally be home. Her Dad was probably already there which meant not only would she have to invent lies to cover with Seth, but she'd have to invent stories for Charlie as well. Too soon after coming off her sex high, reality set in.

"Bells, why'd you get so quiet?" he noticed.

"I don't know," she really did know, but she didn't want to spoil his mood as well.

"Come on," he pulled her out of bed with him and led her to the small bathroom.

"Jake, we can't fit in that shower together."

"Yes we can, but you are going to have to get right up against me," he raised his eyebrows a few times. She remembered she'd brought a few things in her bag. She'd thought of everything. She had body wash, shampoo and conditioner. She had towels, wash cloths and hand towels.

Jake had only come with a pair of cutoffs, so he had no choice but to use her stuff.

"I smell like a girl," he said as they were getting their clothes back on.

She laughed, "That's your fault for not bringing your own stuff."

"How was I supposed to know? All you said was 'can you meet at 4:30'?"

"Oh, yeah, that is all I said, because I wanted you to be surprised. Were you?"

"Yes, surprised in the best way possible. How long can we use it? "

"Til the middle of May if we want."

"I'll give you the money next time we get together," he said like he meant for the next 3 months.

"No, I already paid this month."

He insisted on paying for the other months ahead of time, so they wouldn't chance losing the cabin. She felt weird about paying all that time in advance, but he wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

Bella looked around already missing the place she knew they both had to leave.

"Hey, I know you need to go, but we should talk about something, first."

She looked at him with questioning eyes.

"What about Seth?" he finally brought it up, but he didn't seem angry or jealous. He wanted her honest answer.

"I don't want to hurt him." Too late for that, she was hurting him even if he didn't know it.

"I know, but..."

"Jacob, I don't know what else to say. I really care about him and I'm not ready to lose him completely which probably makes no sense. It's what I'm feeling and I still don't understand it."

"I'm not going to pull the possessive asshole act, but I need you to promise one thing."

"What?"

"Don't sleep with Seth," he said with some reluctance.

She hadn't planned on it. Could she ever be that type of woman. The one that could be intimate with more than one person? She didn't believe that she was, but if she continued on pretending to be Seth's girlfriend, it was plausible. What did she mean, pretend? She was still his girlfriend, but then what did that make Jake? Was she just his mistress?

Finally, she voiced some of her thoughts, "Jacob, I won't be, but isn't that a bit hypocritical on your part?"

"Yes, but you and I are in completely different situations. I doubt you want the details, but I'm so much stronger. The pull is less and less. Don't you see or feel what's happening? Every moment with you, the cords become more and more brittle. I can feel them snapping almost. Bella, the imprint is slowly being severed."

"Why can't it happen all at once?" Oh yeah, she'd forgotten, he'd almost died that one time.

"I don't know. Kelsee wants me to find a way to go on a spirit quest, but my Dad is not being helpful. I think he's worried about causing permanent damage."

"I think you should try."

"It's not that easy."

"None of this is easy, Jake." She looked at her phone. "I have to go."

"Are you mad?" he questioned her. She was still sitting in his lap on the bed. She knew she should have already gone, but she kept sitting there like she was glued to him.

"No," confused, guilty, excited, thrilled: all those things, but not mad.

He pulled her close and held onto her. He brushed his hand down her damp hair.

"I don't want it to be like this. I don't want to make love with you and then we both spend the rest of our time having regrets," he was saying what she was thinking.

"Well, I don't want this to only be about sex. I didn't rent this cabin to only jump into bed with you and then go our separate ways. I need more than that, Jake."

"Jesus, Bells. I need more too. That's not what you think it is, do you? Honey, I love you. Of course, now that I know what it's like with you, I'm going to want that...a lot." He brought his mouth to hers and she fused her lips to his again. Their goodbye kiss was turning into something else if she didn't stop herself, but it was Jacob that put the brakes on. "If you want to chill here together sometimes, I'll understand. I can bring food and we can have dinner together. You can come out here and read one of your novels and I'll rub your feet. I just need to be close to you."

Bella was so late, but it was extremely difficult to make herself leave Jacob. When she made it home, Charlie was already in his flannel pajama pants. She saw dishes in the sink. He must have reheated leftovers, "Where you been, kiddo?"

"I had to touch base with Kim," Lie number 121, and that her was being conservative. She'd probably told way more lies than that.

"Oh, well sorry, we didn't get to talk or eat together tonight. How about a rain check? It's been a long day. I'm going to bed early." She was relieved he didn't ask any other questions.

She hugged and kissed his cheek before telling him goodnight. Bella decided on cold cereal before she turned in. She ate with only a dim light on in the kitchen. Maybe she was hiding from herself, if that was possible.

* * *

The next two weeks were a blur. Bella was juggling more than she ever had. Kate was on maternity leave three weeks earlier than expected. However, that was the easiest role she'd currently had taken on. She was meeting Jacob as often as possible, still seeing Seth same as usual, and taking care of the house and Charlie. On top of all that Kim and Jared's wedding was that weekend. She was the maid of honor and even though, the ceremony and reception were going to be extremely small and simple, she had certain obligations to Kim. She had just enough time to drag in from school, get showered and changed for a quick rehearsal and then Jared's parents were taking the wedding party out to dinner. That consisted of the bride and groom, some of Jared's relatives, Bella and Paul.

Her phone buzzed as she getting ready in her bedroom.

**meet me **

Why'd he ask that? She'd told him about this dinner.

**i can't**

**please**

**no, jake...not tonight, it's rehearsal**

**come before**

**no, i'm in a hurry**

**come after**

**no...sorry, but i'll b late and have a long day tomorrow...c u at wedding**

He didn't say anything else, but she didn't have time to worry about it. They'd see each other at the wedding, but she knew it wouldn't be easy. They still had to keep up the appearance that they didn't talk or see each other anymore. They were finding time to meet up almost every other day. They were having a lot of sex, but Bella still felt like they didn't make it all about the sex. Jacob was true to his word. The evening she met him when she had terrible cramps, he propped her feet in his lap and gave her a massage while she read. Moments like that were flawless and she replayed them in her memory on the days, she couldn't see him.

The rehearsal and dinner were quick and painless. Bella thought Jared's family treated Kim pretty well and they all seemed happy about the marriage. She had wondered about that since Kim said Jared's dad often got mad at her. Bella learned from her, that was strictly a work thing and he was much more down to earth with his family. Again, Bella was glad for her friend. It was the only evidence she had, that there might be some good regarding imprinting. She studied Jared closely, he loved Kim, but he often had a faraway look, like he was someplace else. She dismissed that sobering thought, because it could be worse, so much worse. She was reminded about that when Jared and Paul mentioned the guest list. They'd all be there the next day. Paul grumbled about the possibility of seeing Emily. He never liked her, but after being convinced she was Nadia's accomplice in the kidnapping, he wasn't sure he could be civil. None of the pack went anywhere near Sam's after that.

Kim whispered to Bella, "Jared's mom invited Nadia."

"What?" Bella almost gagged on her dessert.

"I told her not to, but she said it was proper etiquette."

"He won't bring her," Bella assured her.

"Are you sure?" Kim asked.

"I think I'm sure," was her reply, but was she? What if he did bring her or she showed even though he didn't want her to? Bella hadn't seen her since it happened which technically, she hadn't seen her then either. Of course, she wanted justice, but she didn't think she would ever get it. Paul was working on something concerning the suspected kidnappers, but he never would fill her completely in. She thought he had been talking to Mike about it, which was weird. Bella doubted anything positive would come from that. She didn't think Mike would turn on his wife.

Seth picked her up around 4 the day of the wedding. It was Valentine's Day. He brought flowers to her.

"You look beautiful," he told her.

"Thanks, it's the dress. Kim did an amazing job." She had made Bella's dress and her own wedding dress.

"No, that's not it. The dress is nice, but it's you that makes it look so good," he rubbed his hand down her bare arm.

Bella took the flowers, so she could get them in some water before they left. She took a good look at her boyfriend. He looked way better than she did in her opinion.

She complimented him next and then gave him a kiss. Seth's hands on her exposed back caused her to feel instantly heated. The connection with Seth was still there. It felt effortless even though she had a certain corner of heart reserved for Jacob only. It seemed as if he had full ownership of her body these days also, but she was still able to be with Seth to an extent. At first, she didn't think she could act romantic with him, but she did. They still kissed and hugged like usual. It worried her, but caused a feeling of relief at the same time.

The dress was red and strapless, not really made for February's temperatures, but the wedding was indoors at the council's meeting hall. She had been cold the minute she put it on until Seth arrived. She grabbed her dressy black wrap and a small bag with emergency items like makeup, extra clothes and shoes. She wasn't sure how long she could make it in those heels.

"I wish you could come home with me tonight." he told her after helping her with her wrap. "Actually, you could stay I'll be out patrolling half the night, but you can still stay. We could wake up together. Maybe I'll make you breakfast for a change," he pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed her fingers.

"I might take you up on that offer, depends on how tired I am. I really didn't want to leave early since I'm the maid of honor. I could always get a ride with Paul," she stated, but Seth made a face.

"He already claims you're his date tonight, Bella."

She laughed, but Seth was annoyed, "I know, he thinks because he's the best man and I'm the maid of honor, we should have gone together."

Seth shook his head.

Bella couldn't figure out Paul, he knew they could only be friends, but he still pushed a little too much. He hid behind the idea it was only a joke to rile up Seth, but she wasn't completely sure. Paul had changed quite a bit over the past few months. The only person she could be completely honest with was herself, and she agreed, that she might be able to find happiness with any one of them. That is, if she didn't know the others existed, but they all did and they were all close to her. They each had a special place in her heart and none of them really knew how much the others meant to her. She'd drawn a line with Paul that she wasn't willing to cross, because of how difficult it had been admitting to loving both Jacob and Seth. Paul deserved so much more than she could give and the feelings he might have for her were most likely a result of never trusting a woman until he met her. She tried to rationalize that he was confused, but then what was she? It was true she was jealous of his many nameless conquests and sometimes he did make her heart flutter, much like a hummingbird's wings which made the nickname he'd assigned her even more appropriate. She flip-flopped with the notion that maybe she a secret sex (lust) addict or maybe she was the luckiest, unlucky nut of a woman that ever existed. The way she was so invested with all of them made no sense. She was starting to feel nervous during the drive.

_Please, don't let Nadia be there._

**_~Thanks for reading. What do you think?_**


	31. Chapter 31

_**Feels good to be back writing this story. On with the show...**_

Chapter 30

Bella focused solely on Kim and Jared as they said their vows. She had never stood up with anyone before and she was honored to be there for Kim. Kim was visibly bubbling over with excitement. Bella thought she'd never looked prettier. There was some truth to a person's personality bringing out true beauty. At first, she had seemed awkward and plain, but everyone seemed to be softening up to her now. Jared seemed more relaxed and happy as well. She had psyched herself up and done a good job at not eyeing the guests, just in case she was out there; glued to Jake. If she witnessed that, she would've become weak in the knees and fallen right off those thin heels. Bella continued to listen to the ceremony taking turns watching Kim and trying to keep a straight face with the expressions her partner for the night was making. Who would have thought, Paul could look that good in a suit, but he did.

After they were pronounced husband and wife, they kissed, of course; but then it was time to face the crowd. Kim locked her arm around Jared's and they started off down the short aisle, facing all their friends and family for the first time as Mr.&amp; Mrs. Cameron. She followed soon after with her arm linked to Paul's. He knew what was ahead of her before she did, so he held her extra tight, "I've got you hummingbird. Don't look."

But of course, as soon as he said "don't look", she did. It was like being told don't think about the color blue, but then all you can see is the sky, or a person's piercing blue eyes. There she was huddled as close as she could get to Jacob without being in his lap. He looked disgusted, but not enough to push her aside. He sat there rigid and expressionless. Of course, she had on a red dress too. Bella didn't give the bust of her dress any justice, but Nadia was bursting out of hers. Bella still thought her dress was prettier. It was tasteful and classic. Nadia's was a bit on the trashy side, so much like her wilted personality.

Thank god for Paul, always holding her up when she knew she deserved to crash and burn. They made it to the other area of the hall where the reception was being held. Kim had done most of the decorating herself. Bella thought she would be much happier being a party planner instead of a secretary.

"I wish I could get out of this red dress," she said to Paul only.

"Hold up, hummingbird. I knew I had that effect on you, but I think Kim wants to take a few pictures while we're all still dressed up."

For a second or maybe third time, she took a really good look at him. "I forgot to tell you how handsome you look and thanks for that back there." She kissed him on the cheek.

"She looks like a whore and you look like a princess, don't let her get to you. He's a major fuckhead for bringing her. I'm thinking about kicking his ass. Every good party has a fight, right?"

"No, don't. Just ignore them, that's what I intend to do."

Seth joined them, Paul essentially transferred her from his arms to Seth's and she felt bad for him.

"You okay?" Seth absently rubbed her back in soothing circles.

"I think so, it's just..." she didn't know what else to add.

"Wrong. Yeah, I know. She shouldn't be free and she certainly shouldn't be a part of this," Seth spoke his mind.

Bella noticed the three separate groups form again, reminiscent of the bonfire night. Only this time Kim and Jared were in their family group with most of the elders. Nadia was close to Emily. Sam and Jake looked like they were both caught in a snare. They were attempting to be invisible. Claire made Quil dance every dance with her. She climbed on his feet whenever they moved. It might have been cute once, but over and over it was so unnatural. There was a pretty young woman at the family table, she thought she was a cousin of Jared's. Bella noticed when she and Quil met; she smiled extra-large at him. The poor lady probably thought he would ask her to dance, but he never would. It was depressing, Quil should be mingling with women like her not twirling around a sassy, little brat the whole evening.

After pictures, Bella lost those heels under the table where they were eating. Seth eventually asked her to dance. She had cautiously sipped on one glass of wine. Leah kept raising her glass to her every time she took a drink. _Never again_, she thought, but once she finished the glass, she did allow Seth to hold her for a few dances. He did most of the dancing, she was terrible. Maybe she should have climbed on his feet as well. Of course, every time she felt like she was being watched, she'd look over and saw that he was indeed watching her. She'd turn away quickly and hope no one else noticed, but Nadia noticed. She had mouthed various words at her. Bella wasn't sure what some of them meant. She tried to act like she didn't notice her, but Nadia and Emily made a point to be extra loud when they laughed. It was always followed by a glare. Once, she even rubbed the back of her head in the exact spot where Bella had her scar. She was sitting there purposely taunting her, almost bragging in Bella's opinion. _Dammit, Jake_, he wasn't even paying attention to how his girlfriend was acting. Bella wished he'd turn around and catch her, but he never did; so she did the turning around. He should have left after the ceremony, that would have been even better. Instead he sat there doing nothing, sometimes talking to Sam, mostly sipping on his beer.

Paul finally got her alone for a dance. It was almost time for Seth to leave. He had a four hour patrol and an early shift at the station. She thought after seeing Nadia all evening, she'd be happier going back home. She didn't want to be at Seth's alone. He would have only been there for a quick nap.

Paul pulled her in way too close. "Paul, I can't breathe."

"I'm trying to loosen you up. You didn't see what a stiff you looked like with Seth."

"Thanks but how's squeezing me to death, going to loosen me up."

"I figured after you rubbed against my body enough, that would do the trick," his cocky, self-assured look finally distracted her from her other problems.

She put her palm to his chest and forced herself away from him a tiny bit.

"Are you drunk? I didn't think you could get drunk, but you're acting like it," she asked halfway joking, but kinda serious. His eyes looked wilder than normal.

"I tried, but no such luck yet."

Paul's hands slid down the bodice of her dress and he firmly held her hip bones. "You have to feel it right here." He whispered to her. She felt apprehensive as she looked around to see who might be noticing them. Kim and Jared were also dancing so maybe everyone was watching them. It was their special day, not hers. Lucky for her most people were watching them or caught up in their own conversations; but there were two set of eyes glued to Paul while he kept trying to get her locked hips to move with him to the music. Seth watched from the front where he sat with Sue and Jacob from her left side. Neither looked very happy, but Jacob looked damn near ready to explode. _Tough shit_, she thought. She was pissed at him for exposing her to Nadia. They hadn't discussed this at all and she'd just been with him Thursday afternoon. I guess it wouldn't have made for good pillow talk to warn her his homicidal girlfriend was going to show up at a wedding she was taking part in.

She went back to ignoring him so she could figure out what Paul was telling her about dancing. Finally, she felt a little more comfortable with the whole idea and she started having fun. She was tired after dancing and moving ways her body wasn't accustomed to. Another slow song started and Paul held up his finger, signaling one more. She couldn't help it, she was tired and overwhelmed and Paul was so comforting. Everyone knew how close they were so they shouldn't think about it, she laid her head on him and moved slowly with him for that last song.

"Come home with me, tonight," he whispered at her neck, as soon as the music was dying down.

"What? You are drunk. No, I can't. Why would I do that?" She lifted her head up to see if he was laughing, but he wasn't.

"You have to," he stated.

"No I don't."

"Remember your promise?"

Promise, when would she have ever promised she'd spend the night with Paul. Oh yeah, she did remember the pinky swear on Christmas.

"Are you talking about the telescope?" it was the first clear night since winter had started.

"Of course, hummingbird. Why else?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Damn, I keep forgetting, you have a dirty mind. Did you think I meant something else?"

"No I don't and you were the one that made it sound that way. I...I can't." she stuttered.

"You mean you can't keep oaths you swore to on Christmas Day? I know for a fact Seth has other obligations. I think everyone should know Bella Swan is a liar," he'd been speaking softly to only her, but he raised his voice. "Hey listen up, Bella can't be trusted..." she clapped her hand over his mouth.

Now he'd done it, everyone was looking. How ironic that he spoke those words out loud in front of all of them. He was joking, but it was the truth.

"Okay, I'll go with you, but I have to talk to Seth."

Bella did her best at explaining it to Seth. She told him, she'd probably be freezing before the first hour was up and then she'd make Paul drive her home. He had his a private discussion with Paul before he said his goodbyes and congratulations to the newlyweds. Bella kissed him near the back door. "Remember you always have to be firm with him Bella. I think, you think, he's always joking, but I don't think that's the case."

"Don't worry about me, I know how to handle him. Be safe, I'll see you tomorrow." She kissed him once more before he made his exit.

As soon as Seth was out of sight, she decided to visit the restroom. She walked out of the bathroom door only to be pulled into another doorway.

"Jake, what the hell? We can't be seen together," she jerked away from him.

"We aren't, that 's why I brought you in here."

They were in some sort of closet. She saw reams of paper and various kitchen supplies on the shelves.

"I have nothing to say to you tonight, let me go."

"Well, I've got plenty to say to you. I know you're pissed at me."

"You think? How could you bring her, Jacob?"

"I didn't think I was. She showed up when I got out of the car. She'd driven herself. She attached herself to me at the door. I just went along with so I wouldn't cause a scene for their wedding."

"Go back to her, before she notices we're both missing and she causes that scene you were so worried about."

"I don't know where she went, she and Emily disappeared a few minutes ago."

"Should I be worried she's going to jump me if she catches me alone?" If she wasn't being watched by Jacob, Bella wondered what she was up to. Maybe, she left.

"You won't be alone, aren't you spending the night with your BFF?"

"That's not any of your business." How'd he know that so fast?

"Bella."

"What?"

"Lahote, that's what. He's a problem."

"No he's not, no one understands our friendship."

"Including yourself."

"I know what it is and what it's not."

"I highly doubt that. Let me take you home?"

"Are you out of your mind? We can't take that risk. Let me go, Jake." He kept blocking the door.

Finally, he released her arms, but didn't step out of her way.

She reached around for the door knob so she could make her escape. He moved a step closer and reached under her hair and pushed it aside, so he could bury his face there in that sweet spot. He kissed her there, his lips were hot and wet and she felt a wave of arousal move through her.

"Do you know how much torture this was for me?" he kissed her again.

She couldn't breathe. The small closet didn't have enough oxygen for the exchange between the two of them.

"Jake...we can't," came out like a breathy moan.

"Let's go to our place," that's what he was calling it now.

She wanted to scream out "yes" but she had to stand her ground.

"No, Jacob. I made a promise to Paul and I'm not breaking it. I'll see you next week."

"I'll wait for you," he stated like he thought he'd convinced her.

"I won't go."

"Yes, you will."

"Goodnight, Jake," she ran out the door not even thinking that someone might see her. For once, luck was on her side and no one saw. The reception went on almost another hour, but she never saw Nadia again. Before she knew it, she was headed to Paul's with him.

She got changed into her sweats, but she used his long sleeve t-shirt which needed the sleeves rolled up about 5 times to fit. She ended up unrolling them one time, so her hands would be covered. Paul had a perfect little set up for sky watching. He had plenty of blankets and a thermos of hot chocolate.

"How long have you been planning this?"

"Since you bought me the telescope"

She didn't know how to respond to that. It was so sweet and perfect. He was great at explaining the constellations. He had a story about each and every one of them. She was rather inept at picking them out. He would have to tell her what to look for in great detail before she finally got it. It made for a pretty cozy setting. He practically stayed glued to her side and she had really underestimated herself. She stayed outdoors with him well over the hour she'd predicted. She wanted to look at her phone but he wouldn't let her, it would mess up her night vision he told her. Paul held her up after a long while. He was still looking for things, but she was becoming groggy as she leaned up against him under their blanket.

Finally, she let him know, her eyes were burning from all the squinting and the long hours she'd been awake.  
"I think I'm ready to go home, but this was amazing. I really enjoyed it so much, Paul. I'll never take the sky for granted again. You've truly opened my eyes."

"You're very welcome, hummingbird but the promise was to spend the night, so I'm not taking you home."

"I never said I'd spend the night."

"I said we stay up all night looking a the sky but since you can't make it, you have to sleep over." This was strictly Paul logic.

"But..."

"No buts, come on," he pulled her along with him.

He led her back into his cabin, but he ran back out to get everything they'd left outside. She looked at his double bed and over to his sofa. Surely, one of them would sleep on the sofa?

Paul came back inside and caught her staring, "Bella, this isn't a sitcom. Aren't we mature enough to share a bed? Or can you not trust yourself?"

"I trust myself just fine, it's just."

"What?"

"Um," she didn't know how to respond. "Nothing, it's fine, I'm too tired to argue with you."

She started heading to the far side of the bed, the one closet to the wall. She made the mistake of turning around to catch him pulling off his jeans and his shirt. He only had a pair of tight-fitting, navy blue boxer briefs on.

"Paul, you can't be serious?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing, you aren't wearing those sweats in bed with me. We'll burn up. Take 'em off."

"But," was she really having that much trouble speaking her mind or telling him no.

"It's no big deal, the shirts big on you, take your pants off or I will." He reached out for the string at the top of her pants.

"Absolutely, not." She slapped his hand away. She was not going to let his hands roam so close to her lady parts. She quickly removed them and tossed them at the foot of the bed, but not before hiding herself under the covers.

He turned out the light, which was good, she didn't have to see that they were barely dressed again. Instead she'd only have to think about it. Ugh, why was she thinking about it? She was exhausted, she needed to close her eyes and go to sleep.

"What time is it?" she thought she'd ask.

"It's 3:30 in the morning," he replied.

"I can't believe we stayed out so long."

"I know, time flies when you're having fun." She felt his body move more towards the middle of the bed, "Or with the right person," His hot breath ghosted over her shoulder.

She took a deep, cleansing breath. Her love life was already so convoluted, _do something Bella_ she internally screamed to herself. Whatever she did, she knew she couldn't turn over to face him.

"Paul, you know you're my best friend, it's almost like you're my brother, right?" It was important after letting him talk her into his bed, she remind him of their boundaries.

He groaned in frustration, and his hand ran down the side of his shirt that she was wearing. He held her at her waist and whispered, "Maybe, just once I'm going to ask you to commit incest with me, what would you say if I did?"

Her breath caught in her throat or maybe she was holding it there on purpose, so she didn't have to speak. She hadn't jumped out of the bed immediately so maybe that gave him the wrong impression. He pulled her closer from the spot he was holding onto her. Just how in the hell had she gotten herself into this situation? All she wanted to do was buy him a nice gift at Christmas present. Now she was barely dressed with him the night after Valentine's and he was about to cross their barely visible friendship line.

For a split second, she was about to cross it with him, but she finally made herself speak up, "Paul, please, you can't be serious?"

His mouth touched her skin, he didn't kiss her, but his lips grazed her neck. She was yelling at herself, _don't turn over_.

He said the exact opposite, "Turn around and look at me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't."

"I know I'm not even second choice, but you are very conflicted right now, hummingbird." He bunched up the cotton of the shirt and rubbed her waist. "I can feel the emotions pouring out of you, as well as those pheromones I told you about before."

What he said, "not even her second choice," that got her attention and she turned over. He was right there just like she knew he would be.

He reached out for her face. She could have easily abandoned all her senses, she barely had any left anyway and she could have given him what he wanted. She would've enjoyed it, but it wasn't fair. She was already screwing Jacob physically which screwed Seth over in a whole other way. Giving into Paul would have raised it to a whole other level.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, before her hand touched his face, as well.

They laid there in the still of night, breathing deeply and staring into each other's eyes.

"Don't be, but how long can you keep this up? You're about to implode."

"What do you mean?"

"You and Jake."

She thought her ears heard wrong. How could he know, they'd been so careful, hadn't they? "How?" she asked.

"I had my suspicions but you both disappeared for a few minutes at the reception and when I lifted you hair, I smelled him. That was the confirmation. There were a lot of hints. He tried to provoke me when he asked me to step outside before we left, so there was that to."

She hadn't notice Paul go off with Jacob. "Please don't tell anyone."

"I would never do that to you, but why not be honest? I might seem just as bad since I do have you in my bed and if you would've given me the go ahead, I would have gone there. Trust me, I would have only thought about us, but I still don't want to see my brother destroyed. You need to release one of them, hummingbird or both of them and give us a shot.

"Paul," she buried her face into his chest and started to cry. He listened to her incoherent babbling and comforted her.

"Please Paul, stop sleeping around. Go out and find a good woman, someone that deserves you. Someone better than me, I want that for you more than anything," she confessed to him.

"No thanks."

"Why?"

"Because I never wanted anything good for myself, I didn't think I deserved it until you. If I can't have you, I don't want another woman at least not the way you're talking about."

She didn't even think it through, but she pushed her mouth against his. He was talking crazy, saying he'd never give anyone else a chance. She wanted to mute him from saying anything else and maybe feel exactly how deep this connection of theirs went.

His hand moved to the back of her neck and he started to move his mouth. She did the same thing. It was something she'd imagined before no matter how many times, she'd berated herself. He pulled her leg over his thigh and then he deepened the kiss. She was kissing her best friend. She swore she never would, but she did a lot of things she swore she'd never do these days. He was such a good kisser, the warmth of his mouth and the soft texture of his tongue sent an impulse to the lady parts she was hiding from him earlier. He wasn't trying to hide from her, she felt every bit of him as they continued to kiss on their sides pressed impossibly close together. Picking the wall side might not have been in her best interest. She was pinned there by his muscular body. He might have easily moved her over to her back and she would have put up very little resistance, more like none, but Paul again proved he was better than anyone gave him credit for. He stopped them and he pulled her back against his chest. "Go to sleep, we'll worry about all of it tomorrow."

She was trying to get her bearings. Her heart was beating out of her chest, and she felt like she couldn't suck down enough air to her lungs.

"What? What was that?" she asked, her voice shaking as much as her body.

"That was your taste of Lahote. I figured, that might be our only kiss, so might as well make it a good one."

She touched her own mouth, to make sure it was real. He was proud of himself. She knew the look on his face even if she couldn't see it. He encouraged her to roll back over and he held her close, but didn't try anything else. Surrounded in his warmth and the security of his embrace, she willed herself to go to sleep and they didn't move until the daylight made its presence known through the window the next morning.

She woke up to catch him staring at her. Even though she remembered, she still asked, "What happened?"

"You couldn't resist my sexy body, but I turned you down as easy as I could."

She pushed her hand against his chest. "You wish."

"You know I'm the one telling the truth," he winked.

He kinda was, but she was glad she woke up to him being his normal self. She didn't know what she'd do if it would've still been painful and emotional.

He let her use the bathroom first. She attempted to look like herself, before going home to Charlie.

He drove her home, they didn't talk much; but she still held onto his hand like a lifeline. Before she got out of the truck, he made his request, "Chocolate, the frosting too."

"Huh, what are talking about?"

"The cake, remember our bet. You lost."

"I never agreed to that."

"Well you didn't disagree to it, you said it wouldn't happen but it has and I deserve a cake. I called it."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll think about it and not because of my situation with Jacob, because you are hands down the greatest best friend I'll ever have my entire life. I know that without a doubt. Thanks..."

"Bye, hummingbird." How could he love her that much? She had to have broken his heart over and over, but he still remained loyal.

Sure enough, Charlie was there. "Paul Lahote brought you home at 8:00 in the morning. Care to explain that Bells?"

"Nothing to explain Dad. It was a clear night, is all."

"Huh?"

"Paul showed me the stars last night." That meant more than one thing to her as soon as she said it.

"Does Seth know?"

"Um, yeah, Seth knew." It was a partial truth, which was good for her these days.

He grumbled and shook his head. "Bella, I haven't wanted tell you what to do, but don't hurt Seth."

"I won't," now that was a full lie, she knew her partial truths were too good to be true.

"I've probably had more influence in his life than I had in yours. He's a good man and he thinks the world of you."

"Thanks Dad, for caring about Seth, I'm glad he had you after losing Harry."

* * *

Bella had gone all out after taking a long nap Sunday afternoon. She left plenty of food with Charlie, but she made a huge batch of fried chicken and all the sides. She had it packed and ready to take to Seth's. It wasn't out of guilt she kept reminding herself, at least not completely. She wanted to spend time with him, feel his comfort, laugh with him, and maybe convince herself that she had to make a decision soon. She had to quit splitting herself up into pieces. She needed to be one whole person for only one man, and the fact was, her mind constantly reminded her; it should be with Seth. It might take the heart a little convincing, which was the reason she kept stalling.

She and Seth were stretched out on the sofa. He complained he was way to full but she kept feeding him the chocolates she'd bought him for Valentine's Day. This had been there celebration a day late. She came clean about spending the night at Paul's, only excluding the parts that he wouldn't understand.

"Are you mad?"

"No, but Bella I'm afraid Paul's going to get hurt. I trust you."

Seth is worried about Paul now and he admitted he trusts her.

That's it. She was going to burn in hell, and she'd deserve every second of it. It was time, _do something, Bella_, that internal voice yelled at her. He was probably the best guy on the planet and she didn't deserve one bit of his devotion, but she'd already dug the hole so deep. There was no way to get out of it, she might as well just start covering herself up with all the dirt and deceit. She thought about disappearing. Seth was oblivious to her despair when he flipped her til she was flat against his chest. "I love you, Bella." He said in between kisses.

"I love you, Seth," she said back, _but I should let you go_ trailed off in her mind.

About that time, both of their phones vibrated on the coffee table. Seth's said Leah and hers lit up with that familiar shirtless pic she'd never gotten rid of.

"Hey, you and Seth need to get over to the council meeting hall, asap," Paul said before she even let out a "hello".

Seth looked just as serious with his call from his sister.

"What is it?" she mouthed. Seth shook his head

"Paul, why?"

"They're about to string Jake up."

"Who? Why?"

"Something very important and very ancient was stolen last night and Old Quil said he's positive it was Jacob. They want all of us there."

"But I'm not part of the pack, officially."

"Well, they specifically asked for you by name, sorry hummingbird, you need to come. It's bad. See you both in 20 minutes or so."

Seth looked at her, "Leah said they think Jacob desecrated some ancient tribal books. This has to do with imprinting. I guess he still intends to break the imprint no matter what. What do you think about that?"

She thought there was a good chance she and Jacob were busted, and it was about to be made public, but she also thought this accusation sounded far-fetched. She didn't think Jacob would ever desecrate anything that related to his tribe. There was more to the story and she couldn't wait to hear the rest, even if she was about to start suffering some consequences to her current behavior. Instead of saying any of those things, she simply shrugged, "I don't know what to think."

_**~Thanks again, dear readers.**_


	32. Chapter 32

_**This is me feeling generous because I adore you guys so much.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight.**_

Chapter 31

Bella entered the council hall holding tight to Seth's hand. It didn't even seem like the same place where Kim and Jared exchanged their vows merely hours before. They were the last two to arrive, the others were already seated. She immediately searched the room for Jacob. He was on the front row, his body facing sideways, not forward. His head did a slow turn and their eyes met. She wanted to run to him. He looked like he'd already taken a beating, not physically, but verbally. Just what in the hell did they think he did? She knew as soon as she saw him, they were wrong.

She had a brief period of doubt on the way over. What if he was so distraught about what happened at the wedding? She had ignored him for the most part. He was rather desperate in the closet and she never went to the cabin. He sounded sure that she would, but she had spent the night with Paul. Could that have pushed him over the edge to do something he normally wouldn't do?

She expected Jacob to be yelling, most likely be pissed. He had butted heads with those council people many times before. Instead, he looked sad. Sad? That made no sense. She glanced at Billy and he quickly wiped at his eyes. She'd missed something between them.

Her heart was hurting, she felt compelled to release Seth's hand and go up to the front row and throw her arms around Jake. He needed to know she already believed him before a word was spoken. Seth guided them to the fifth row of chairs. Why the hell did the council set up so many chairs? Were they going to bring the whole damn tribe in there and further humiliate Jacob? Paul got up from his current seat and moved to their row to sit on the other side of her. She looked to her right and then her left, she was sandwiched between them, making the odds of her jumping up and running to Jake less and less.

Seth still held her hand as some guy started talking. Paul was wiggling his fingers in his lap. She slid her foot to the side til it rested against his boot and he stilled. The man, whose name she didn't know, addressed Billy.

"Chief Black, have you had a chance to speak with your son in private?"

"Yes, Joseph."

"And what does he have to say for himself?"

"He says he didn't do it."

"And you believe him?"

Billy hesitated, but he didn't say yes or no; that's why Jacob looked so defeated. His own father did not believe in him. Poor Jake. Ugh, she wanted to run up there and shake Billy. "Why don't you believe in your own son?" But she continued to sit there squeezing Seth's hand and doing absolutely nothing.

"I'm not sure. I don't know what to think," Billy finally stammered.

Jake's head slumped down, he wasn't even looking at him.

Bella wished they'd get to the part about desecration. What exactly happened last night after the wedding? Or was it during the wedding?

Sue looked like the only one of them with a conscience, she looked ill.

Old Quil was the next to speak, "Jacob Black, is your pack all accounted for?"

Jacob turned around and looked at all of them again, pausing for an extra second to meet her eyes again. That was her chance to speak to him. Could he read her expression? She hoped so, because she tried to send her love to him telepathically.

He finally answered Quil's grandfather,"Yes, all of them but Jared. He's on his honeymoon and I saw no need to call him back from that."

"Well I did. I told you to have all of them here."

"I don't give a fuck what you asked. I'm not making Jared come back. You can talk to him next week."

"Jacob," Billy spoke his name like a judge, not a father.

Bella watched all the members of the council squirm in their seats after his declaration. They were all uncomfortable, and they were scared of him. It was obvious.

"Jacob, you have been in here countless times, asking to open up the archives, because you assume we are hiding details about imprinting. Every time, we have denied your requests. We have already told all of you what the legends say, imprinting is a gift. You are the only one that refuses to accept that."

Bella saw Quil and Sam sit there with zero emotion. Why didn't they speak up? What Old Quil said wasn't true, those two knew imprinting wasn't a gift for them, but they sat back and let Jacob shoulder all the criticism. He was doing this for them as well, not only himself.

"I told you all this before, as soon as you woke me up this morning. I didn't break in any doors or locks. I didn't steal pages or old books. It wasn't me." he paused and stared directly at his father. "I didn't do what I'm being accused of, Chief Black."

Bella was so caught up in the fact that Jacob had called his father out. She knew he had to be hurting. Seth shook her arm, "Huh?" she asked.

"Bella, they asked you a question."

She'd missed it. Was he serious, they'd asked her a question?

"Um, could you repeat that?"

"I said, Isabella Swan what do you know about our missing archives?" Old Quil had a pen in his hands. Was he writing this stuff down? Would this inquisition become part of their future archives? Bella felt so out of place.

"I'm not even sure what an archive is? Of course I don't know anything about it. Why aren't they in a museum or something?" That must have been a ridiculous question. All of them looked at her like she was an alien from a foreign soil.

"Are you suggesting, we sell off our history to some local historical society? We are no ordinary tribe and you know that, regrettably, but you know our secrets. Do you want us exposed to the rest of the world?"

"No, of course not, I just meant maybe you need better security."

Bella was rambling, Old Quil was making her nervous. She looked over at Seth, he barely shook his head. She thought he meant _shut up, Bella. You're making it worse,_ but she wasn't sure.

Why was the council talking to her at all?

"I think you know more about this than you are letting on. Isn't that right? You are the reason, Jacob goes against his tribe now. I have spent many hours trying to calm the fears of that poor, sweet woman. Nadia is the alpha's mate and she should not be suffering like this. Nothing has been the same since you came to live here, little white girl."

Bella couldn't believe what she was hearing. He comforted Nadia and he called her sweet. She felt Paul's hand slide onto her leg. "Did he just call me 'little white girl'?" she gritted through her teeth.

Paul held her down. "Hey, that was out of line, don't speak to her like that."

As much as Bella appreciated one person in the room coming to her defense, she was tired of sitting back and being a doormat. She intended to defend herself for a change.

She stood up determined to walk up to the front. Seth tried to stop her but she pulled away. Was there a chair up there? A witness chair? This seemed like a trial even if it wasn't a court room.

"I may be white, whiter than most, but I am not a little girl and I'd appreciate if you call me Ms. Swan, we are not friends, not even acquaintances." She never found that seat, so she stood. She walked up to their long table. "I also happen to be the police chief's daughter and I'm almost certain you are violating Jacob's civil rights. Are you going to bring charges against him? Do you even have evidence?"

"Um, Bella..." Billy cleared his throat, "Ms. Swan, we handle things privately. We have no intention of involving the police. It's very important to our heritage that the books be brought back. If you know something that could help us, that's all we ask of you is that you tell us any information you might have."

Hearing Billy talk to her in a formal capacity made her lose her nerve a little, but she glanced at Jacob. His head was still slightly slumped and he was looking at her through his thick lashes. He had just the hint of a smirk on his face. He was proud of her, she knew it and he had read her face before. He knew she believed in him. That was all she needed to find her confidence once again.

She took another deep breath before speaking again, "No, I don't know anything about the missing pages or books and if Jake says he doesn't either, then you should believe him. He's not a liar. He's an honorable man and he and his pack sacrifice so much for all of you. You should be ashamed at the way you've treated them. I might be an outsider, but its obvious to me, that Jacob has great respect for his tribe and his father. He came to you with his pleads and you always turned him down, but he never bullied or intimidated any of you. Look at him, you're all afraid of him, but he never used that to turn the tables in his favor. Believe me, he is suffering. Imprinting is not what you claim. It is a curse, not a blessing. I know firsthand," she perhaps had said too much. Everyone looked at her completely puzzled.

"And how would you know such a thing? You, yourself admit you're an outsider."

The only other lady on the council whispered, "Pauwau."

Old Quil shook his head, "Yes, must be. Msssss." he stretched it out like there were ten s's, "Swan, you keep company with Kelsee. Isn't that right?"

"How are my friends any business of yours?"

"Did you steal the books and deliver them to her? She's a known witch with a vendetta against the Quileutes."

"What?" Now they think she had stolen them and gave them to Kelsee. "No, never. I wouldn't do that and Kelsee would never ask me to."

Jacob jumped up, "That's enough. You aren't going to do this. Bella didn't come anywhere near our archives. Bells, you can go," he put his hand on her shoulder, branding her with his heat. They were in front of the whole room. She remembered all those times, she worried others could figure out what was going on just by looking at the two of them. She didn't know how to look at him without love in her eyes. It was lucky for her, her back was turned to the pack. She took a deep breath and stared at him. The council members could see it all, but she didn't care.

"Are you okay?" she mouthed silently.

He nodded and motioned for the exit.

She headed back towards her chair to get her purse. Seth stood up and for a second she thought he was going to leave with her.

"No, Seth Clearwater, you haven't been dismissed," that guy Joseph said.

Seth placed his keys in Bella's hand and gave her a gentle squeeze. "I'll meet you at Charlie's in a little bit." It was his way of letting her know she should go home.

She went to the door and she was sure they all thought they'd heard the last of her, but she had one more thing to say to one person. She turned around and looked at him, "Shame on you, Billy. I'm disappointed in you." She quickly headed out the door, not even pausing to see if her words had an affect on him.

She got inside Seth's truck, it was dark outside already. She had school in the morning. She should definitely drive home and tell Charlie, but tell him what? She couldn't spill any of the pack's secrets.

She was driving and it wasn't towards Forks. This was a rare chance, all the wolves were preoccupied and she wasn't being followed. It was a concern of hers when they started meeting, but Jake said he had it handled, so she didn't ask questions, but she suspected Quil and Embry covered for Jacob even if they didn't know what it was about. She replayed a few moments of the previous night through her mind. Why hadn't they all suspected her immediately? Of course, the council had it all wrong. What if the person that took the documents did do it because of what it might say about imprinting? The only thing was it wasn't someone that wanted to break an imprint, but someone that wanted to prevent an imprint from breaking. She stopped the car outside the small house. There were no cars there and no lights were on which meant Nadia wasn't there. There was a good chance she didn't keep what she'd taken there, but what if she hadn't had a chance to take it anyplace else?

Bella called Charlie, "Dad, I might need your help."

"What is it, Bells are you in trouble?"

"I might be."

"Bella, you aren't making any sense. Where's Seth?"

"He's stuck in a tribal meeting. Dad, they think Jake took something without permission, but he didn't. I need you to believe that."

"Of course, if you and Jacob say that's the truth I believe you. He has issues, but he isn't a liar or a thief. Should I go down and help? Does Jacob need me?"

"I think it would make it worse, Dad."

"Well, are you headed home?"

"Not exactly."

"Bella, where are you?"

"I'm going to help Jake and then I'll be home. Bye Dad, love you."

"Wait Bella, don't hang up!" but she did.

She shouldn't have called and worried him, but just in case something went wrong, she knew Charlie was already on high alert. He was probably getting into his car right that second to come looking for her, so she didn't have much time.

Bella looked in all the obvious places, but Jake didn't keep a spare key like Charlie did. She made her way around the house and checked every window. One of them wasn't locked, but it was stuck. "Why can't you be stronger," she said out loud. She pulled and tugged but it wouldn't budge. It was a sign, she should wait for Jake. She should text him and tell him where she was. He'd leave the council and get to her in a matter of minutes. She shoved her phone back in her pocket. No, it had to be her. Her reasons were petty and fueled by jealousy, but she wanted to be the one to personally bust Nadia. She didn't even have to go to jail for it, to satisfy Bella. She only wanted her to be shamed in front of the tribe and the council. Creepy Old Quil had a thing for her. She couldn't believe the way he defended her. Kelsee was right about him.

She'd wasted enough time, she wasn't budging that window, she was going to have to break it. Jake would forgive her, it was his damn house after all. Nadia only lived there.

She found a stick and jammed it into the glass. Then she used the stick to clean out of the glass. A few pieces were left and one snagged on her shoulder cutting her shirt and her skin at the edge of her shoulder. She climbed in and found herself in Jacob and Nadia's bedroom. Ew, she felt disgusted. It was a place she never would have dreamed she'd have to see with her own eyes. Focus, she had to focus. She pulled opened every drawer, opened every door in the whole house. She had no idea where it could be. She felt in the top of the closet, and under all the furniture. There were too many pictures of Nadia and Jacob in this damn place. She knew she had all the makings of an insane person the minute she broke in the window, so she saw no point in holding back. Every picture, she came across, she smashed the glass with her bare fist. She had multiple slivers of glass in her right hand, but she ignored the pain.

For some reason, she went back to the bathroom. She'd already opened every drawer and cabinet in there, but she noticed something. Nadia had so much shit in there. She took her beauty products seriously. Bella knew from her times with Alice, everything Nadia had was top dollar. She must have spent hours in there everyday. Bella was convinced, it was her favorite room of the house. She looked at her own reflection in the large mirror. How many times had Nadia admired her made up reflection in that very mirror? Bella, had been so jealous of Nadia's beauty the first time she saw her. What was looking back at her was definitely nothing special. Her hair was a mess, she could see some split ends because she hadn't taken the time to have it trimmed as often as she should. Her eyes, like her hair were a common brown color, not an exotic hazel green. She barely had any makeup on. What she did have on was smeared. She moved in closer to see a small breakout on her forehead. The nerves and the birth control pills had done that to her. She was far from flawless, but the woman in the mirror was the woman that Jacob loved. She was his choice. She held her eyes shut a few seconds and when she opened them back up, she felt beautiful. He never needed her to put forth all the hours of effort to transform herself, he loved her just the way she was. Nadia needed all that crap to camouflage what was on the inside.

Finally, Bella remembered something she'd seen on one of Seth's cop shows. She reached up on the underneath side of the drawer. Something crinkled under fingers. It was paper, old dried up paper that had been taped to the drawer. She carefully peeled it away and then checked the other drawer to find a thin book inside an envelope. "Bingo, gotcha, you bitch." She carefully opened what she'd found. It wasn't written in English and it was hard to even see in certain spots, but something told her to snap some pictures just in case and she did. Bella turned off the bathroom light, it had been the only light she had flipped on. She had used her phone's flashlight to search the rest of the house, but she didn't need it anymore. She planned to waltz out the front door and lock herself in Seth's truck, so she could call Jacob. She was almost to the door, when she saw she missed one. There was one more picture on the mantle. She walked over and retrieved it. Bella only looked for a second, Nadia probably thought he was happy in the photo; but even there, she saw his disappointment. She dropped it on the floor in front of her and stomped it because her hand couldn't take anymore glass shards sticking in her skin.

The lights all came on before she'd heard the door. Bella turned around to see she wasn't alone.

"What in the fuck do you think you're doing?" The bane of her existence shouted at her.

Bella clutched the envelopes close to her chest. "Getting even, bitch."

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**Just in case, some of you were disappointed that Nadia didn't cause too much trouble at the wedding, let the trouble begin! Until next time...**_


	33. Chapter 33

**_Thanks for all the feedback with the last update. I really struggled with this chapter, for several reasons. It's a transition chapter, but I hope it's still an okay read._**

Chapter 32

Bella should be scared, this maniac could have killed her before, but she wasn't. She was glad to be face to face with Nadia. She looked around the room at Bella's destruction. Broken glass, pictures on the floor, ransacked drawers, and most of the cabinets in the kitchen were still wide open. She'd done nothing to cover up her endeavors, unlike Nadia who'd covered all her bases before. Bella didn't care, she was far from a criminal. This was personal, she was motivated by passion, was her only excuse.

"You're going to pay for all this, whore!"

"I'm not paying for shit, you are going to pay for what you've done," Bella held tight to the historical documents.

"You're crazier than you look if you think I'm letting you leave with those. You're probably taking them to that witch you hang with in the woods. Half of it isn't even Quileute. Good luck finding anyone that can translate them." Sounded like Nadia was frustrated. She'd gotten no closer to securing her hold on Jake. She'd stolen them and caused Jacob a lot of trouble and pain with his father for nothing.

"Why can't you let him go? If you really loved him, you'd see that he's miserable." Bella knew it was pointless to reason with the unreasonable, but she tried.

Nadia stalked towards her. Normally, when someone took that approach with her, she'd back up, but she didn't. She wouldn't run from her.

"That's rich coming from you. You're the one that should leave. Why would you want to change his destiny? You're interfering with his heritage and his birthright. I'm his mate, the alpha female. You are zero, Bella Swan and what you've started could kill him."

Bella laughed at her, "Alpha female, the whole pack hates you, including Jacob."

"You think Jacob hates, me...far from the truth. He still makes it to my bed every night. You've been fooling yourself." Bella knew that wasn't true, it couldn't be true. Nadia was trying to get the upper hand telling her what would upset her the most.

"Maybe you're more like that crazy, old lady and you're a witch too! I bet you've cast a spell on Jake. That's it, isn't it? He isn't truly breaking the imprint, it's a mind trick."

"God, you're stupid." Not the most creative comeback, but Bella couldn't think of a better word. Nadia was an idiot.

Nadia acted quick and caught her off guard again. She shoved Bella against the wall. "Go back to the rest of the pack. They're all under your spell as well. You've got two little puppy dogs that follow you everywhere. Stick with Seth and Paul or do you even know what to do with a man? Jake is a dead end. He'll never be able to be with you. It's impossible for him to even get it up for you, you little mousy woman."

Bella had no idea if her body language or facial expressions would convince Nadia otherwise, but she didn't intend to refute her statement, at least not verbally. She tilted her head slightly, raised her eyebrows and pushed her chin out. It was her most confident look, "Whatever you say, Nadia," she let it drip from her tongue all sweet and innocent.

Realization swept over her. She had to have questioned it, worried about it late at night when Jacob wasn't around, but she'd been in denial. Old Quil had probably convinced her countless times, she was the only woman for Jacob. She knew, her eyes said it all. Nadia pushed Bella hard against the wall and screamed, "No fucking way!"

She stepped away from her and looked to the door, then the kitchen and then towards their bedroom.

Thoughts flashed through Bella's mind. Nadia was about to get desperate, she bolted for the bedroom. Bella instantly thought, she's going for a weapon. Did Jake have a gun? Maybe, or it could be a baseball bat, anything Nadia could get her hands on. She had to think quick. Run for the door was the common sense thing to do. Instead Bella remembered something Uncle Jeff taught her. Yes, Jeff, Renee's best friend. Stereotypes were so ridiculous. Her Dad, the cop had never taught her any self-defense, but Jeff worried about some of the men Renee paraded through the house. "You're never going to be stronger or bigger than your opponent, lil bit. You have to fight dirty."

She'd never had a reason to fight before, she didn't interact enough with people to have enemies. Vampires didn't count because there wouldn't have been a point. Bella ran those thoughts through her mind in a couple of seconds. She ran after Nadia and jumped on her back. She grabbed hold of as much hair as she could get and the two of them tumbled to the floor just outside the bedroom door.

"Ugh, get off me...crazy bitch." Nadia, physically was bigger and stronger, and Bella knew she had one chance. She jerked her head back and slammed it as hard as she could against the hardwood floor. It was enough to stun her, so she did it again and again.

Nadia was screaming like a banshee in between her face smashing against the floor, but she finally knocked her off her back. The two of them rolled back and forth, both putting up a struggle. They clawed and slapped at each other equally. Finally, Nadia overpowered her and climbed over Bella. She started choking her the next second. Blood was pouring out of her nose and dripping onto Bella's cheek. She was quickly losing her strength because of the oxygen being cut off to her brain, but she got one hand to Nadia's fingers and she managed to peel back one of those fake fingernails. Nadia shrieked again and squeezed harder. She was going to kill her, Bella was almost positive now. She kicked and squirmed to fight back. She got her a hair again and twisted it as hard as she could, but the pressure at her neck increased. Her brain felt foggy, the lights grew dimmer. She was almost out when the door sprang open with a loud bang.

All at once, the pain and heaviness subsided.

"Bells, honey, are you with me?" A warm hand was tapping the side of her face. "Bells don't close your eyes. Look at me." It was Jacob, she smiled at him; delirious from being choked, but so relieved to see it was him rescuing her.

He helped her up and she saw Nadia in a crumbled heap on the floor near them. Her chest was heaving, there was a lot of blood. She looked like the wind had been knocked out of her. Had he thrown her off? She guessed so, but Nadia was still conscious.

Jacob guided her to the sofa. Nadia started shouting. "Are you fucking serious, Jake. Look at me. That bitch broke my nose, I was only defending myself. Look at our house. She did this, she's the crazy one, not me."

Bella couldn't help it, Nadia's nose was a mess. It was already swelling and red blood continued to dribble out of it. She might have been near death a few minutes ago but seeing that made it all worth while. "Ouch that looks really bad, it's probably never going to look the same...shame." She looked at Jacob, he wasn't laughing, but she knew he was amused what Bella had managed to do. He shook his head slightly.

Bella pointed to the mantle, where she'd sat the envelopes. "All this to prove to them I wasn't lying, Bells? You're something else." He threw his arm around her. She couldn't believe how they were huddled together on the couch in front of Nadia. Bella looked around and saw Nadia getting towels from the kitchen to wipe her own blood. "Come on, let's go. You okay to walk?"

"Yes."

"No, Jacob Black, you need to help me, I think I need a doctor." Jacob looked at her but didn't seem like he cared. Was her really going to turn his back on his imprint and take care of Bella? She wasn't sure what it meant.

"If you walk out on me you bastard, you will regret it."

He turned around and took Bella's hand and they walked towards the door. "Call Emily."

Bella screamed when she saw it, but Nadia was one, quick little bitch. She plunged a knife in Jacob's back. "NOOOOO!" she screamed. Bella went after her once again, but Nadia had one for each of them. Bella held her arm up in a defensive motion and the blade sliced deep into her forearm. If it hadn't been for Charlie Swan, Seth, Sue, Paul and most of the pack walking in at that same time, Nadia would have probably chopped them both to pieces.

She didn't care about her arm. It was a flesh wound, but God knows what that knife damaged inside of Jacob. The damn thing was still in his back. Charlie went straight to his daughter, but Bella saw Jacob nod to Seth and he pulled the knife out of Jacob's back.

"Hey, boy don't," Charlie screamed but it was too late. It was out and a huge rush of blood seeped out of him.

"Seth, call an ambulance. Don't you know better than that, he could bleed to death," Charlie admonished his deputy.

"Sue, come look at Bella, she's losing blood fast."

"NO! Take care of Jake first," Bella shouted.

"Bella, I'm fine, it wasn't even deep." Yes, it was. She knew it struck a vital organ, but he was trying to cover with Charlie.

"What about me?" The witch screamed.

"Yeah, I'm getting to you next." Charlie, slapped a pair of handcuffs on Nadia before she knew what was happening. Nadia Reinhorn, you are under arrest for assault and attempted murder, anything that you say..." She loved her Dad so much, he was Mirandizing her in the middle of her living room, in front of everyone. It was great. Finally, she was getting what she deserved. Bella was quickly feeling the affects of her rapid blood loss. Sue had ignored her pleas and was putting pressure on her cut while Seth and Sam were taking care of Jacob, but something wasn't right.

"Seth, I'm going to the car to make sure all the emergency vehicles and the back up are en route. Watch the suspect. How you holding up Jacob?"

"I'm fine."

But he wasn't, Bella knew something was wrong.

"Good thing you have all the muscle, probably saved your life. Has someone called Billy?"

"Embry already went," Quil said.

As soon as Charlie disappeared, she spoke up. "He's not healing."

"Yes and no," Seth replied. "He's barely bleeding on the outside, Mom, can you take a look a this?"

"Paul, come hold pressure on Bella's arm don't let up. I think her radial artery is nicked."

Bella ignored the fact that Nadia sat at the other end of the sofa. She was finally quiet. She guessed she was trying to figure her way out of this.

Sue examined Jake and she also had a worried look on her face. She carefully, lifted his shirt and checked the front and the back. "Jacob, I'm afraid you're not healing as fast on the inside. Your belly is swelling. You're still bleeding internally."

"It'll stop soon, isn't that right Seth?"

Why was Jacob asking Seth?

"I don't know Jake, it isn't the same."

She had no idea what they were discussing, maybe one of them had had a bad injury before.

"You're going to have to go in the ambulance Jacob," Bella stated.

"And say what, Bells? How I'm I supposed to explain this?" He showed her his back. A few minutes before a giant butcher knife was sticking out of him and now it looked like he'd been scratched by a cat, well maybe not a house cat, possibly a mountain lion. But even Bella could see his abdomen distended across the room and Jacob wobbled when he turned around. He was losing blood quickly, same as her.

"I swear, she hit your kidney, Jacob. I don't know if that will heal. I have someplace I can take you, but we'll have to keep Charlie distracted," Sue told him.

"He's too worried about hummingbird, he's already distracted," Paul said.

Bella turned and glared at Nadia once more. She wished she could jump up and choke her like she'd tried to do to her earlier.

Paul noticed her dilemma, so he decided to add fuel to the fire. "Shit, your nose is fucked, Nadia. You did that, hummingbird? I'm in awe. Who would of thought you had that in you?"

"Fuck you, Paul."

"Aw, that's too bad," he kept it up, "It's going to leave one of those disfiguring bumps when it heals. Oh well, they shouldn't care too much about that sort of thing in prison."

"I'm not fucking go to prison, " she spat back at him. Charlie walked back in about that time.

"Oh no, this time, we got you," Charlie told her.

"Well, if I'm going then so is she," and she looked straight at Bella.

"Why?" Charlie asked.

"You see this place, Chief? You're little girl did all this damage. You see my face?" Paul laughed again. "She hit me first. I know for a fact I have the right to defend myself and my property. This whole thing was self defense. She broke in to rob us."

"That's a lie," Jacob said from a chair across the room. Sue had made him sit back. Now he was trying to cover for Bella, but she knew everything that Nadia was saying was true, except the robbery bit. Nadia took something first without permission, and Bella was going to return them to Billy.

"Bella didn't break in, she had my permission to be here," Jacob told Charlie.

"Really and you told her to break out our bedroom window? Go look, Chief Swan, look what she did to my house."

Charlie took a look around for a few minutes and then he made eye contact with Seth. They both looked concerned.

"Dad..." She wanted to tell him everything, but it was getting harder to speak.

"Hush, Bells, don't say anything else." Charlie advised her.

"How do you explain Jacob?" he asked Nadia.

"It was an accident. I was trying to protect us from your maniac daughter."

"You're saying you accidentally stabbed your boyfriend with such force, the knife stayed in his back?"

She clammed up after that and didn't say anything else.

Bella heard the sirens next, she was so sleepy. Maybe this was all a bad dream and she decided she would be better off to go back to sleep and let it all disappear.

* * *

Bella turned to the familiar beeping noise. It wasn't the first time she'd woken up in a hospital bed. Charlie's was the first face she saw. He was in a chair sitting next to her.

"Dad," her throat was very hoarse and scratchy.

"Hey, kiddo, you don't have to talk. Everything is fine, you're going to be alright."

She looked at her arm which was fully bandaged, but she also noticed her Dad had a small bandage running around the middle of his arm. She followed the tubes and saw a large bag of clear fluids and a small bag sitting on top of it. On the back side of the IV bags was also a bag a bright red fluid. She had been bleeding a lot at least she thought she was. She never really saw after the rescue squad arrived and put pressure on her wound.

"You gave me your blood, Dad?"

"Of course, you needed it. I'd gladly given you all of it if they'd let me. Instead, I gave two units. They will be checking your count in the next hour to see if you need the second one."

Bella looked at her hands to make sure she wasn't handcuffed. She remember the last conversation her Dad had with Nadia. It would have been terrible if Charlie or Seth had arrested her.

"Dad, am I in big trouble?"

"No, Bella, quit worrying about all that. It's going to be fine."

"Well, you don't look fine, I can tell you're worried."

She closed her eyes for a second trying to clear her mind and remember everything before she'd passed out.

"Jake, it's Jake isn't it? Is he here? How is he?"

Charlie rubbed his face and ran his hands through his hair. "No, Bells, he refused treatment from the EMT's and the damnedest thing is all of them were okay with it: Billy, all his friends, even Sue. I thought Billy was only superstitious to Dr. Cullen but I guess it's all doctors."

"Then where is he? Is he alright?"

"Sue took him somewhere on the reservation. I don't know, exactly. I guess he's okay, because no one has called and said otherwise. He didn't seem to be bleeding as much as you were, but I never got a good look at his wound."

Bella knew something was wrong, but she knew there was nothing she could do about it right then. She was so weak she could barely lift her head. "She's in the jail, I hope."

"Bells," he reached out to take her hand and the worried look was back, only worse.

"Dad, what?"

"Honey, she was right, you broke in. Why didn't you wait for me or Jacob? I don't understand what happened. This isn't like you at all. I mean, you brutalized that woman's face, whether she deserved it or not; you put me in a horrible position."

"I'm sorry, Dad, but she stabbed us. How can she get away with that?"

"I had to let her go. If you won't press charges, neither will she. We're going to have to sweep this whole incident under the rug. I'm doing it to protect you, as much as I hated letting her go."

She was such an idiot. She had been so consumed with revenge and hatred for Nadia, she royally screwed up. Her Dad was the police chief, for God's sake, she knew better.

"Bells, one more thing and I want the truth."

"Um, okay...truth about what?"

"You're still seeing Jacob, aren't you?"

Her breathing picked up and she heard her heart monitor beep more frequently.

"Calm down, Bells. It's okay, we don't have to talk about it now." He brushed her hair from her face and smoothed it down.

"How'd you guess?"

"Father's intuition, hell I'm not sure. Maybe I put a few clues together like how you disappear a lot with no reasonable explanation or why all of the sudden you're washing clothes more often and taking an excessive amount of showers. I was going to suggest you've developed OCD after your last med change. What confirmed it tonight, was the looks that passed between the two of you. Doubt I was the only one that noticed, Bells. How'd you expect to hide something like this and why would you treat Seth this way? I thought you really cared for him."

"I do, it's just..."

"No, I don't want to hear it, you need to get your rest tonight. Once you're healed, you can start to sort it all out, I hope."

Bella wanted to justify herself to her father, but there was absolutely no way to do that. About that time, a nurse came in to draw some labs and give Bella some medicine to help her sleep. That was the only way she was getting any rest. So much was on her mind, but mostly she was worried about what Sue had said about Jacob. She still thought he was hurt worse than anyone was letting on.

Her eyes were starting to get heavy when she heard voices in her room. Charlie was irritated, but the other voice lifted her out of her drug induced slumber.

"Paul," she whispered.

"Just for a second, please chief?" Paul came to her side, she heard the door shut. Charlie was giving them privacy. "Hey hummingbird, don't talk...just listen. I came to check on you and let you know, he's okay. Sue took him to some of her nurse midwife friends, they won't ask questions. They had equipment and supplies, so she was able to do what needed to be done."

She wanted to ask what that meant exactly but she couldn't. She tried to nod her head, the last thing she remembered was warm lips touched her forehead before she went into a deep sleep.

* * *

Bella had gotten out of the hospital late Monday night. Her arm was not too bad, she had to wear it in a sling and it still had some numbness around it which was actually good because it didn't hurt as bad. The doctor that sewed her up and repaired her artery said there might be some slight nerve damage, but she'd have full use of it, but some of that numbness might remain. It was kind of like it was asleep. She had not been able to see Jacob or even communicate with him. Paul kept telling her he was fine.

Seth stayed with her Tuesday when Charlie went to work. He brought up what she had been dreading. She almost made a full confession until she realized he only confirmed that he knew she and Jacob still cared about each other. "You still needed more time. No wonder, I could always tell you were holding back a little." He wasn't angry, she could tell he was concerned, maybe a little confused. She couldn't hit him with the whole truth, it would be too much. He didn't understand why their relationship still lacked openness and honesty. He agreed that what the council did was unfair, but the pack hadn't even had a chance to examine the room where the pages were stolen. She should have waited, because at the end of that meeting Sam insisted on being allowed back there where he confirmed it was his wife's scent mixed with Nadia's. Old Quil couldn't believe what they all smelled.

"I can't decide if I should be furious with you or thankful that you're okay. You were so reckless and stupid. I don't understand it. It's like I don't even really know you. I think it would be best if we took a break while you figure out your feelings once and for all."

She heard his words but it didn't fully register. Seth was breaking up with her. She deserved so much worse, but she still felt conflict raging a war inside her mind. "Seth, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he pulled her close to his body and he kissed her head, "I'm not giving up hope, I just want all of you and when you're ready. I don't want there to be any doubts. I still think we're supposed to be together."

This was a close to the truth as she had gotten in weeks. Seth thought she still had unresolved feelings for Jacob. He thought she needed more time before she made a commitment to him. He seemed to not have an inkling that she was in a sexual relationship with Jake, but several people knew now including Charlie. She ended up not denying the feeling part, but she didn't make any further declarations.

Paul showed up near bedtime. She led him up to her room. He was leaving the door open but she told him, "Close it, my reputation can't be any worse with my father."

He climbed in bed with her. "You sure you're ready to go back to school tomorrow?" She curled up next to him._ Familiar, security, warmth, her friend._

"Yes, I have to. I've already missed too many days for unbelievable reasons. There's stuff I have to do. I'm leaving on a teacher's conference in two weeks. I'm taking Kate's place. This is the busiest time of the year, and the kids need me. Besides, if I'm there I'm occupied and when I'm home, I'm alone with my thoughts. It isn't a place I want to be right now."

"Seth and you are fighting?"

"No, worse. He's giving me a chance to sort out my feelings."

"That bad, huh?" She shook her head up and down. "Forget all the shit you've done for now and go to sleep, hummingbird. I'll stay until you fall asleep or Charlie kicks me out."

* * *

Finally, the text she'd been waiting for came to her around the noon hour at school on Wednesday.

**really need to see u, can u b there right after school**

**yes**

She'd planned on sending him the same thing, but he beat her to it.

He was resting on the bed when she got there. She looked around, a lot more of his stuff was there than normal. Had he been staying there, she wondered?

"Jake," she rushed to his side. "I've been so worried. What happened?"

"I'm fine, what about you, Bells? You had surgery and you're already back to school. Are you sure you're fine?"

"Yes, just some numbness. I'll be fine. How did Sue take care of you?"

"First they drained a shitload of blood out of me, then they gave me a transfusion, thanks to Embry and I may or may not have two working kidneys, but at least I'm not peeing blood anymore."

"Oh my god, Jake. She destroyed your kidney?"

"Maybe, but I've got an extra."

"I'm so sorry. All of this is my fault."

"Bells, you acted on impulse and without thinking, but you were extremely brave, more than anyone ever gave you credit for. It might not have been the smartest decision, but it reminds me of someone I know."

"Who?"

"Me," he laughed. "We're a pretty volatile combination."

"That means we could explode, Jake," she felt more concerned than amused at his assessment.

"No, I prefer it to mean we're hot." He grabbed hold of her kissed her like he'd been deprived for far too long. He held on to her face with both hands the entire time. "I love you so much, our love cannot be denied."

Bella had to get one thing out in the open once she caught her breath, "Jacob, she said you still visit her bed every night."

"That's a lie."

"I thought so, but..." her voice trailed off.

"You want the truth?"

"Of course, I do," but she was partially afraid to hear what he might say.

"One time, that's it since I've been with you. I was disgusted with myself. I haven't been back in her bed since. I stay outside the window when the wolf is acting up. No matter how much he rips and claws at me, I don't give in. I had some of the guys clean up the mess and now all my stuff is either here or at Billy's."

"So that's it, you're free!" she exclaimed.

"Not exactly."

"Jacob, what's left? You can say no to her. You were going to leave her to take care of me. What else is there between you two?"

"Just that part that if I'm separated forever with her, I'll die."

"Oh my god, that's a pretty important part," her excitement quickly faded.

"Kelsee's going to help."

"Would this be any help?" She pulled out her phone and showed him the pages she gotten photos of.

He looked surprised to see she'd thought to take them, "I don't know, but it can't hurt. Send them to me and I'll get them blown up and I'll show her."

"Jake, I'm really sorry about the council. They were so unfair, especially Billy."

"Yeah, me and the old man have some shit to work out, but I'll survive. As long as you're with me, I'll survive."

She couldn't help herself, she yawned.

"Am I boring you?"

"No, of course, not, but I'm exhausted," she snuggled close against his chest.

"Well, why don't you set an alarm on your phone and then two of us get a nice long nap?"

She did as he requested. They stretched out on their bed together, he held her tight and stroked her hair as she started to drift off. She was so tired from her day back at school. He whispered to her, "We're almost there, Bells, just a little bit longer." It was hard to leave when her phone buzzed, but at least she felt like she'd gotten the best two hours of rest she'd had in days.

* * *

Bella felt like her life calmed down quiet a bit over the next week or so. She mostly hung out with Paul because even though there were underlying feelings, he put the least amount of pressure on her. Seth stopped by a few times after work. They were attempting to act like normal, not as much like boyfriend and girlfriend, but not purely friends. It was still confusing.

Kim came back from her honeymoon happy as ever, but she was shocked to hear about Bella's whole ordeal. Leah asked her to hang out once, but she wasn't ready to face her quite yet. She made an excuse for needing a rain check. She saw through her, at least that's what Bella thought. She had thought they had a lot of potential as friends after the girl's night out, but ever since she first called Bella out on her crap with Jacob, it hadn't been the same between them.

She did drop off to see Jake a few times at the cabin. He was not very happy to hear from Quil that she was about to go off to Seattle to a teacher convention in less than a week.

"Why didn't you tell me? I have to make preparations?" he asked.

"Well, I'm going to be surrounded by people I work with and hundreds of other teachers from around the state."

"Really Bells, tell me how anyone of them can protect you from Edward if he decides to snatch you again?"

"I guess I wasn't thinking. I would have told you, but I've been distracted."

"How are you getting there? Are you staying alone? How many days will you be gone?" he rattled out one question after the next.

"I'm carpooling with three other teachers, and I was supposed to stay with a lady, but her sister lives in Seattle so she's not staying at the hotel. I'll be there all day Friday and Saturday and half the day Sunday. Anything else? Are you really going to make one of the guys hang out in the park across the street from the Alexis Hotel?"

"Don't worry about what I intend to do, just know you'll always be protected. Can you cancel? It would be a lot better if you could get out of it completely."

"No, I can't cancel. Kate can't travel. This was set up way in advance, I have to go. I'm representing our K-team."

The two of them went back and forth for awhile, and she finally gave up.

Bella was a tiny bit uncomfortable riding along with the three other teachers. She didn't know any of them too much, but after a little while in the car she warmed up to them. She tried to relax, thinking it would be a nice reprieve to be away from Forks for a short while. She took turns making small talk, reading her novel and also looking out towards the woods wondering if one of the pack was following her. She'd purposely kept herself busy these days. She could only travel on her current path for so long. Eventually, she was going to hit the end of the road. How she handled things from here on out might determine her entire future. According to Kelsee, it wasn't just her future either.

She got checked in to the conference and the hotel. She had just enough to run up to her room and get her luggage put away and freshen up from the trip before her first meeting. She had her key card in her hand, ready to open her room up when a strong arm snaked around her waist.

"See why you need me Bells? You had no idea you were being followed."

_**~Thanks for reading.** _


	34. Chapter 34

_**Thanks so much to everyone. I might even have a tiny bit of fluff in this one, because I'm such a softy. Don't get too comfortable, this story is about to take a few surprising twists and turns. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer.**_

Chapter 33

"Jake! What are you doing?"

"Trying to get in our room, aren't you going to open the door?"

What did he mean "our" room? She fumbled with the card again, but he took it from her fingers and skillfully swiped it in the slot. The click of the lock and the turn of handle and then they were standing inside the hotel room. The two of them, all alone, Jacob was going to stay with her in Seattle.

He tossed his bag on the floor, walked over to window and pulled back the curtains.

"Nice view," he said. "Come here, take a look with me."

She released the handle of her rolling suitcases and walked towards the window. It was a beautiful view, but she only briefly glanced at it because she wanted to only see one thing. She looked up at Jake.

"Why didn't you tell me? Is this real? Are you spending the weekend with me?"

"I wanted to give you a good surprise and why don't you touch me and see if I'm real?"

She placed her palm to his chest. _Yep, real_ she thought. "Jake..."

He silenced whatever she was about to say with a searing kiss. She put up very little resistance as he backed them away from the window and towards the bed. The hotel had told her they had one king sized bed left and since she would be staying alone would she prefer that instead of the room with two double beds. She'd said, "Sure, why not." Now, she was very happy they'd made the adjustment.

He had almost erased away the whole reason she was in Seattle, after all. They were on their king sized bed about to get carried away when she remembered. It never crossed her mind when he first kissed, not even when he climbed on top of her when they got to the bed, but when his fingers slipped under her blouse and pinched her nipple, she was literally jolted from her fantasy.

"Jake, I can't," she groaned.

"Hmmm, sure you can, honey." His lips had journeyed to her neck which almost made her forget again, but she had to put a halt to these proceedings.

"Jake, no, stop," she pushed him with a firm hand til he finally rolled over to his back.

She angled herself to his body and lifted up on her elbow so she could see his face.

"Jacob, I've got a meeting in less than ten minutes downstairs. Are you forgetting the reason I came here?" She almost had.

"No, but I kinda hoped you'd play a little hooky with me," he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

He pulled her on top of him, but she pushed herself back up. He looked even more determined, she'd inadvertently put herself in their favorite position. _No, no, no_ she chided herself. "No, I can't." He made the sad puppy face, "But I can skip lunch and one optional lecture at 4, compromise?" She got off the bed so there would be no more temptations.

"Sure sure, Bells. I'll get us some food we'll meet back at what time?"

"One, but I only have 30 minutes then. After 4, I'm all yours til tomorrow at 7:30 tomorrow."

"Whatever you say, Bells, but you're always mine no matter what and don't you forget it."

"Oh, I just thought of something. How are you supposed to get in and out? I only asked for one key. I guess I could run down and get another."

He reached in his pocket and pulled out another key.

"How'd you?"

"Never underestimate the charm of Jacob Black."

"She was pretty?"

"Naw, I don't even remember what she looked like."

"Crap, I'm so late." She turned around in circles trying to remember what she needed to do next. She grabbed her small tote and ran into bathroom. She emerged exactly four minutes later. He was standing at the door with her school bag and her purse.

"Bye honey, have a good day," he said after kissing her goodbye. She turned around once more before taking a left to get to the elevator, he was still waving at the door.

Teacher's convention weekend had become a whole other thing and she couldn't hide the smile on her face the rest of the day.

Pillow top mattress and a rock hard body made the perfect sandwich. "No, not yet." She firmly held his backside.

He kissed her lips again, "Love you."

"I love you, Jacob. Stay, hold me longer."

"Bells, I'm going to start squishing you."

"No, it's fine. Please, just a few more minutes."

"So I guess you liked it better, I know I did."

Her mind flashed back to when she'd walked in the door at 4:15. She came up for lunch, but they decided to enjoy the food Jacob had gone out and gotten them. It was only a thirty minute break and she didn't feel like a quickie. She wanted to properly love her man.

He had the same thing in mind, because as soon as the lock clicked the second time she returned, he was pulling her inside. He was on her in an instant, she was down to her underwear by the time they hit the bed. When they got to her favorite part, the moment he joined with her body, she knew something was different.

"No condom?" she whispered.

"Nope, you're faithful on your pills and no one else is around us."

She wouldn't have said "better" because it was consistently getting better with them. They were both very in tune to the other's needs. It was pretty much the only time she felt comfortable in her own skin.

"It was warmer...softer maybe," she stated.

He frowned, "Softer? What the hell, Bells? I don't think so. I was going to say wetter." He started to tickle her ribs.

"Stop, Jake," she slapped at his chest. "You know what I meant. Maybe that wasn't the right word. Smoother then, I like feeling your skin, all of it. It was nice, you were great, like always."

"We, Bells. We're great together," he corrected her.

The rest of the weekend Bella was blissfully happy. She floated back and forth from meetings and lectures back up to her room. Jacob was always waiting for her. They went out Saturday night and he treated her to a romantic, candlelight dinner. It was the best few days she'd ever imagined. Of course, in the back of her mind usually during that ridiculously boring head speaker, she knew she still had tough choices ahead of her. She had originally planned to use her time away to figure some things out, but being secluded with Jacob in a hotel room altered her goals. He was all she could think about, she was consumed with him. It was hard to concentrate in her meetings. Good thing she could multi-task and she took notes or her principal might not even believe she was there when she asked her about it.

Bella rubbed the hand Jacob had resting on her bare stomach. He was already out, she could tell by his breathing. It was very late, the wee hours of Sunday morning. Today was their last day. He'd convinced her to ride back with him. She had already talked to the teacher that drove her to tell her that she'd met up with an old friend that he would take her back to Forks. Jacob had told her Embry came with him. He was her official protector for the weekend as far as the rest of the pack knew. She felt bad for him hidden someplace close by. Jacob told her they were all use to things like that and he was fine. Once they crossed over on the ferry, he would drop him off and he'd use the cover of the forest the rest of the way. She started going over the names of the people that knew about the two of them. She knew, they were playing with fire. She might deserve to get burned, but no one else did. She really need to stop this, but she didn't know how.

Jacob made a few groaning sounds and tightened his arm around her. She should definitely close her eyes and get some sleep. She couldn't help wondering what would it might be like to be held by him every night? She even briefly imagined what it would be like to be in hotel like this again and be on their honeymoon. It was a happy fantasy in which she pretended no other complications existed for them and she eventually relaxed enough in her daydreams to fall sound asleep with him.

She was staring out the window, feeling like the passing greenery was lulling her to sleep. They'd dropped Embry off almost an hour before. She really should take a nap since she'd stayed up thinking instead of sleeping last night.

"Bells, we need to talk before you go to sleep."

"Huh?" she lifted her head and turned towards him. He looked serious, not at all like he'd been all weekend.

"Bella, I'm not sure what's going on with you and Seth, but he still believes you two are going to get back together. You need to put an end to all of this once and for all. It's not fair. If you don't do something soon, I will."

"What? What do you mean, you will? You mean you'll tell him everything? You can't do that, Jake. It will crush him. I thought you understood."

"No, I never said that word. I don't understand at all. I was trying to be patient with you, give you some time, but Bells, it's been damn near two months. What the hell are you waiting for? This has gone on long enough."

"Well, you're one to talk. Look at the lengths you've gone to protect our secret. You use Quil and Embry to cover for us," she was starting to become angry. She was tired and irritable and he had quickly put a damper on her good mood.

"Anything I've done, I've done for you. I was protecting you."

"Really?" Jacob was not being completely selfless and he knew it.

"Yes, really. I don't give a fuck who knows we're together and you need to come to grips that too many people know now. Charlie, my Dad, Paul, Quil, Embry and even Sam figured it out."

"Oh my god, Sam too? And everyone is hiding it from Seth? Doesn't anyone have loyalties to him?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? They're probably more loyal to him, than me. They don't want to crush him. Let me get this straight, you're upset because no one has told him the truth, but you yourself will move heaven and earth to keep it from him. Damn woman, you know you make absolutely no sense half the time?"

"Then why do you bother with me?" Why did any of them bother with her?

"Because I can't live with out you . I love you more than anything."

"Are you forgetting Nadia?" She had to bring her name up even if it burned her tongue to speak it.

"No, I wish I could, but I still don't care. I didn't want to hide that I loved you from anyone."

"Well, I'm trying Jacob. I've had plenty of distractions. I'm still trying to decide."

"Decide what Bells? You tell Seth you care about him and you're sorry but it isn't meant to be. You're in love with me."

"How are you so sure, I'm choosing you?"

He started laughing, not a funny haha laugh, but a more menacing one. "You know damn well, it's me that you're supposed to be with. Bella, if you ended up with anyone else, you'd be living half a life and you know it. The longer you wait, the bigger the explosion will be. Sometimes, I think you'd be fine if we all said, 'Sure Bella, we'll share' Me, Seth even Paul."

"That's absurd," she folded her arms across her chest and briefly looked away.

"Is it really? Well, I'm going to set you straight, it'll never happen. Now that I think of it, Lahote might go for it just to fuck with us, but we'd end of beating the hell out of each other all the time. We're wolves, that means we're dominant and possessive. We aren't going to live in big house together and trade out nights with you. You can't be mine and have Seth as your boyfriend and Paul as your girlfriend, so you need to stop trying to have it all."

He was mocking her and it was cruel. What if there was the slightest bit of truth to what he was saying? Is that what she'd been trying to do...have it all?

"Can we please stop talking about this now? I need to do this on my own terms."

"Fine, two weeks and that's it. You have two weeks, Bells."

She had nothing else to say to him. She couldn't believe he chose to end their special time with an argument. In fact, this was the first argument they'd had since starting this secret relationship. She turned back towards the window and pretended to fall asleep even if he knew she never truly went to sleep.

Jacob tapped her shoulder, "Bells, we're almost back. I'm sorry I upset you. I know it's going to be hard, but in the end, it's going to be better. You're not doing yourself any favors hiding behind all these lies and deceit. It's eating you up and it's starting to take a toll on you. I can tell."

She sat up and tried to fix herself in the mirror. It was no use, her eyes were bloodshot, the skin under them was puffy and darkened. She glanced over at him again.

He reached for her hand. He pulled it to his mouth and kissed her fingers. "It's going to be alright. We just have to get over this hump and then things will settle down and we'll be happy."

Yeah, she thought more like a mountain, because the rest of the imprint still existed and she was going to have to break Seth's heart.

* * *

Bella had managed almost another week of her life. She'd gotten nowhere closer to doing what she needed to do. She finally got the guts to drive out to Seth's house. She had no plan formulated, she just felt compelled to do it after dinner Thursday night. When she arrived, she walked up to discover the door unlocked. It usually was. She wasn't sure if she should walk in like normal or this was an occasion that called for knocking. Eventually, she decided to walk in. Seth wasn't visible in the front of the house, he must be back in his room.

She found him propped up in his bed with his laptop, and a bunch of file folders. He had a mug of coffee on his nightstand. He looked up at her. "Hey Bella."

"Seth, what's all this?"

He closed the laptop and sat it aside. "Oh, it's for a case."

"Really, you have a case in Forks that requires this much paperwork? I'm surprised I haven't heard about it."

He got very serious all of the sudden. "You have."

"Huh?"

"I'm working on my deposition. It's the case against Mark Wilson."

Wilson, she had heard that name before, "The guy who shot my Dad?"

"Yep."

"Oh, I thought you and Dad already did all this. What's taking so long for this to go to trial?"

"He changed lawyers again and this one finally convinced the judge for a change of venue. He doesn't feel like he can find an unprejudiced jury in our county seeing how everyone knows who Charlie is. The last thing the world needs is a junky with money. His family has very deep pockets and they're trying to delay this as long as possible."

"Well, it doesn't matter what they do, you and Charlie both ID'd him. It should be an open and shut case, right? Are you trying to write your statement out, do you need some help?"

"It's not that simple Bella. There are complications with my statement."

"How? I don't understand."

Seth, took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders a few times. He was either trying to get the kinks out or he was having a hard time telling her something.

"Bella, it's a problem because I have to lie. I have lied already, so I have to stick with the story. I don't want to make any mistakes. I don't want them to find some loophole that lets that dirtbag walk."

"Lie? Why would you lie about any of this Seth?"

"Because he shot me too and he knows it. No one else does, because the hole was closed up before any aide arrived. I pretended the blood on me was Charlie's, some of it was, of course."

Bella felt like the wind had been knocked of her. She had to sit down on the bed with Seth.

Seth immediately started clearing off his bed. He moved from where he was and sat close to her. He put his arm around her. "I'm sorry I never said anything."

"Does the pack know?"

"Of course, and the council. That's how we knew what to do with Jacob that night. I had to go to the nurse friends of my mom's to get the bullet out. I healed on the outside before my insides healed, but even though I lost a lot of blood, I didn't have any lasting repercussions. It was a bad shot, Bella. Worse than Charlie's. It struck vital organs, but they all recovered. I'm sure Jake's kidney finally healed."

"Oh Seth, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, sweetheart. You know I'm perfectly fine, I was never in any danger. It's just impossible to explain. I'd hoped the guy was high enough that he didn't realize, but when I saw him later in custody; he went fucking nuts after he saw me walking around totally fine. Apparently, he's all in to some occult shit, so who knows what he thinks I am. He called me a bunch of weird names. Maybe, by now he's dropped it, but I feel uncomfortable about what I have to do and about being in the room with him again. I can't screw up, I owe it to Charlie."

"Seth, you've done so much for my father. It's going to be fine. You'll be great, that guy will never be free again, I'm sure."

"Thanks for your confidence. How have you been? We've barely seen each other in weeks. I've missed you." he lifted her chin when he told her that last part. She'd missed him too, even it was easier on her emotions lately to avoid him.

"School stuff, you know? I...I missed you to Seth." she reached for the hand that was still on her face and she brought them down to her lap. "Do you have a scar?"

"Yes."

"Can I see?" She wasn't sure why she made that request, she wanted to see proof of the sacrifice Seth made to save Charlie. That second bullet had been meant for Charlie's head, but Seth took it. She'd never forget that.

He lifted his shirt. He was tentative at first, but Bella reached out and helped him take it completely off. She'd never paid attention, and she'd certainly seen him on many occasions without his shirt. Right at end of his breast bone, was a small, smooth and shiny rounded spot. There was also a thin line to the left of it, obviously a medical incision. She couldn't stop her hand from touching it. She traced the outline with her finger a few times.

Seth's chest moved heavily like he was struggling to breathe, but she couldn't hear his breath. She had no idea why she did what she did next but she couldn't stop herself. She leaned into him and kissed the scar. His hand went to her hair and he slightly tangled his hands into a few strands and gently raised her head back up. The two of them stared into each other's eyes for a while not speaking, but soon she found her lips pressed against his. She wasn' t sure who moved first and it didn't seem to matter, but they quickly became caught up in that kiss. Seth brought them to the pillows and pulled back the sheets. He took her shirt off before they fell back. All those months of denial, Seth was definitely enthused at the turn of events. She'd always been so quick to put on the brakes, he barely even tried anything more than a simple kiss any more.

She knew in the back of her mind, the whole reason she'd made the journey to his house, but being with him after so long had a completely different effect on her. Was this her way of expressing gratitude? Was it her guilt or could it be she was finally allowing her love for him to come to the surface? They tangled in his sheets: kissing, touching, grabbing, feeling. She should stop, she'd promised Jake, but her body hadn't caught up with her mind and soon her panties were the only piece of clothing left between them.

Once he pinned her under him, he asked, "Are you sure? You're finally ready?"

She didn't give a definitive answer, but instead she took him in her hands and encouraged him to roll over. She had to give him something in return. She'd imagined she given him countless hours of cold showers. She wanted to please him, and she didn't expect anything in return, but as soon as she'd accomplished what she set out to do, he started trying to reciprocate.

He practically begged her. "It's fine that you're not ready to tonight, but please I need to make you feel good like you did for me." There was no way for her to tell him no. If she was finally being honest with herself, she didn't want to tell him that, so they ended up really getting to know each other's bodies. They didn't go all the way, but she'd done things...a lot of things, she was never quite sure she'd ever do with Seth.

He kissed her again and again as she was trying to get dressed. "I wish you could stay. I don't want to sleep without you here tonight. You were amazing . I love you so much, Bella. It's finally happening for us."

She held her lip in between her teeth, as she studied his face. He was the happiest he'd been in ages. She was almost delirious. It felt good to be with him, but she had just complicated her life even further and even she didn't think that was possible.

"I love you, Seth." She kissed him before climbing in her truck.

"Tomorrow, I'll come by for dinner. I get off at 5."

"Okay," she said without thinking.

The drive home didn't even feel like it happened. She wasn't sure how she'd gotten from point A to point B. Only she could take an already fucked up situation and mess it up further. It had never been her intention at all to practically have sex with Seth. She hoped he had better control. The last thing she needed was Jacob to see that on replay in the pack mind. There was no good way out of this. Thank god for sleeping pills even if she would feel slightly hung over at school the next morning, she had no choice.

* * *

Bella was so anxious to get home from school. Why, she didn't know because when she got home, she'd have to be alone for the next few hours. Charlie had agreed to go to Billy's for the evening, since she'd told him she and Seth needed to have an important conversation. She went straight to the shower, hoping that would help relax her. She put on some comfortable clothes and went to her room. She had about a dozen text messages from Seth, all incredibly sweet. He kept telling her how happy he was. She should make him a nice dinner. Was that the right thing to do? _I'm sorry, Seth. I was on the way over to tell you I'm too in love with another man to be with you any longer. Never mind, that I stripped you down and gave you a blow job. Consider it a good bye present._

She was in such a state, she must have missed him knocking or maybe he didn't knock, he'd probably used the key again. Jacob was standing in her doorway like a statue. He didn't even look real for a split second.

"Jake," she jumped up from the foot of her bed where she'd been rehearsing her speech in front of the mirror. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed you," was his only response.

"Well, why haven't you called all week? And why didn' t you tell me to meet at the cabin? You know we can't be here alone."

He grabbed her and hoisted up high to his level. She was going to tell him he should go, but he covered her mouth with his. He didn't even pause or build up to it. He kissed her with passion, maybe a touch of anger. She wasn't sure. Was he still mad about their car trip home?

"Jake," she tried to talk but he wouldn't let her. They didn't have sex in her house, not since that first time. Why was he here and he was being so dominant, not rough, just very persistent. He turned her so that her back was to him. He lifted her shirt off, pulled her hair aside, sucked the tender skin at her neck until she was sure it left a mark. He plunged his hand into the front of the stretchy yoga pants she was wearing and quickly got a response out of her. She was once again swept away doing something she should not be doing. They were way too carried away to stop and she definitely had missed him this week.

Panting, sweating and completely sated, Bella turned to face Jacob after their round of hot, afternoon sex. "Where did that come from?"

"Are you complaining?"

She curled against him, and rubbed his warm chest with her fingers. "No, I'm never disappointed to be with you, but it was different. I'm not sure why you showed up like this."

"I wanted you." His wants and needs had been evident.

"Okay, but we should have gone to the cabin. Someone could find us here."

"And?"

He was being rather short with his responses. She'd definitely been caught off guard by this rendezvous, but finally the reality sunk in. He didn't use anything. She'd gotten use to their weekend sex, but this was home. The pack was around despite the fact half of them knew, but Seth didn't and she didn't want him to find out in a disgusting sort of way, smelling Jacob on her.

Her panic was interrupted by an engine outside, one that she knew as well as her own truck. Next, a door slammed. She jumped a foot out of the bed, "Jake, get up and get dressed. You have to leave. There," she pointed. "Jump out the window."

"It's too late Bells, he's right outside."

"No...no, I can't do it this way." She ran around the room trying to find stuff to help. She put on extra deodorant, she sprayed body spray, she wiped herself down with a pair of underwear. She pulled her clothes on faster than humanly possible.

"Go Jacob, why are you still sitting there watching me?"

As soon as the words escaped her mouth, she got it. He planned this. He ambushed her. Why? How could he do this? "You bastard, you did this on purpose didn't you? Answer me Jacob."

"I warned you to fix this."

"I have another week," she was shaking like a leaf.

"I have my reasons, I changed the timetable."

He must have known about last night. That's why there was an underlying anger behind their sexual encounter. It wasn't just passion.

She shook her head at him and left the room hoping against all odds, he hadn't come inside and that Jacob had locked the front door; but when she looked down the stairs, he was sitting there leaned over holding his head in his hands. She could see him trembling from where she was, but she carefully and slowly descended the stairs. She reached out to touch his shoulder. "Seth..." Initially, there was no answer or response.

"Seth I'm sorry, let me explain."

"Bella, don't touch me." She jerked her hand back. "Don't you dare ever fucking touch me again."

****KABOOM****


	35. Chapter 35

_**You can all thank my wonderful friend, Urban Rose for encouraging me to post the next part today.**_

_**Here's what I know, everyone hates Bella, but me. I get it; she screws up constantly, but I still have sympathy for her. I have no idea why, but I do. I still have a lot planned for this story. I've given the warning before, but when this story idea came to me "pain" was my sole inspiration for writing. I adore you guys though, I really appreciate anyone that reads this.**_

_**FYI: the kaboom was Bella's life blowing apart, not a real explosion. LOL!**_

Chapter 34

It had finally happened. Her worst fears came to life, Seth knew what she was doing. She was completely exposed. She had to make him understand. "Seth, please, talk to me. I'm sorry, it's not what you think."

Seth stood up and walked around Charlie's living room. She knew he was attempting to calm himself down before he said anything. Finally, he broke his silence again. "Alright Bella...so you aren't standing in front of me reeking of sex with Jacob and you haven't been fucking him behind my back for God knows how long, because that is what I think. I think I'm fucking accurate as hell, even if it took me awhile to catch on. So why don't you tell me again why it's not what I think."

"Um, uh..." she stuttered.

"What's the matter? Don't you have another lie formulated as a response? I'm sure by now you have a whole list of them you carry around for back up." He hadn't stopped moving, he was obviously so agitated. He probably was dying to phase, and that was how he counteracted the urge.

She was trying to keep from hyperventilating, worried that anything she might say might make him completely lose it.

"I guess I was right a long time ago, you did want to be the pack whore."

"Hey, that's enough. Don't fucking talk to her like that." Jacob hadn't left through the window. He was still there and he was on his way down the stairs. All three of them in Charlie's living room was not a good combination. "Seth, I'm sorry, man; but you knew Bella and I had intense feelings for each other. We didn't want it to go down this way, but it did."

"Jake, you should go, This is between me and Seth."

"No, Bells it's not."

"Seth...I was going to tell you, but I cared about you too much. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Don't, Bella. I don't want to hear how much you care. How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you been screwing him? It's a simple question, I want the truth for once."

"Since Vancouver," was Jacob's response.

"Oh, great. Isn't that just like you, the mighty alpha? You wait til I'm out of the picture, on a mission you sent me on, no less and you swoop in and take my girl to bed. You are one fucked up piece of shit."

Seth looked at her again, she hadn't realized how much she was crying. He looked so broken and it was all her fault. Jacob on the other hand was very matter-of-fact. He didn't look remorseful. She felt so much rage fill her. She never liked that cocky son of a bitch side of him, but it was there, always just under the surface waiting to come out. She'd been so reckless, why had she'd not used any common sense? Had sex really turned her brain to mush?

"Jake! I said, I want you to leave. I don't want you here. You and I are over."

Jake and Seth both looked at her like they didn't believe a word she was saying.

"Bells, I know you're pissed, but you don't mean that. Don't tell anymore lies. The truth is out."

"How do you know what I mean?" she screeched.

Seth had had enough, he headed for the back door. "I can't take this shit. You two can finish your lovers' quarrel without me."

"No, Seth please you and I aren't through." She grabbed his arm hoping to stop him, but he jerked back with force. For a split second he lost it and he pushed her shoulders back against the kitchen wall. He was trembling again, "I said don't ever fucking touch me again."

Jacob went into a rage after that, "Don't you ever put your hands on her again like that again, Seth."

Seth kept walking. He was headed toward the back woods behind Charlie's but Jacob followed him. He turned him around, "Don't you fucking ignore, me Seth. You don't touch a woman like that, you show some control for once."

That was the last word spoken between them because the next thing that happened, Seth punched Jacob with such force he flew several feet across the yard. He was back on his feet the next second and then all hell broke lose. They started trading punches and were brutalizing each other. Bella couldn't believe how forceful their fists could be. They were extremely powerful even as men. "Stop," barely sounded from her lips. She cleared her throat, "Please, both of you stop fighting." Neither looked her way. They were focused on one thing, beating each other senseless.

It wasn't too much longer before the men disappeared and two large animals replaced their forms. The larger russet wolf and the sandy brown wolf took over exactly where the men had left off except it was way worse, so much more violent. She'd never seen anything like it. It didn't seem like they would ever stop at least til one of them was completely incapacitated. She hated to watch it, but when they disappeared into the forest, she felt even worse not knowing what was happening. She ran as fast as she could into the house to retrieve her phone. Her first instinct was to call Paul, but he didn't answer._ NO_, Paul always answered her. She had no choice, but to reach out to another member of the pack.

"Leah, this is Bella. Please get everyone to come to Charlie's, its an emergency. Seth and Jake are fighting, they went into the woods. Please hurry, I'm afraid Jake's going to kill him."

Leah didn't utter a sound after answering, but Bella knew she heard her loud and clear and knew how urgent her request was.

Next, she sent a text to Paul.

**911 at my house seth knows, they're fighting please hurry**

She went back outside the house. Silence...there was no sign of either of them. She had no idea what could be happening in those woods. She was halfway tempted to go out there, but as soon as she took about ten steps in that direction, she saw a flash of fur pass at the edge of the trees and then another and another. The pack had arrived or at least some of them. She wasn't sure which ones were there but they would be able to separate them. She hoped it wasn't too late. She tried to think of something useful to do while she waited. The way they were fighting, there would have to be injuries. She ran up to the bathroom and grabbed the first aide kit. She also got as many towels as she could carry and an old sheet. She threw it all out on the coffee table. There was still no sign of any of them, so she went back out to watch the woods. She tried to calm her fears. They were both wolves, strong animals built to face the worst opponent imaginable, vampires. Maybe she'd worried for nothing and they would both be fine. It probably looked way worse than it truly was.

There was noise and movement at the trees and soon she got her first glance of how wrong her last thought had been. Sam, Jared, Paul and Brady were carrying Seth. He wasn't moving, and she couldn't see his injuries just yet. Her hand instinctively flew to her mouth. When they got midway across the yard, she saw blood, a lot of it. "Hurry, bring him inside. I have the first aid kit ready."

They walked within a few feet of her. Seth was already swollen, and so bruised. He was barely recognizable. His eyes weren't open. The guys all had a sober look on their faces. "Seth!" she screamed. "Is he alright?" That was a stupid question.

"Bella let us tend to him, Leah already called Sue," Sam instructed. She followed them inside, quickly spread the sheet and towels on the couch so that they could lay him down.

He was starting to make some sort of groaning noises and painful grimaces which meant he was coming around.

She wanted to help but she didn't know what to do. She was curious about the state Jacob was in, as well. No matter how angry she was, her heart still cared. She walked onto the back porch, but someone was waiting for her. She was slammed so hard against the back door she couldn't breath. Her arm was then pulled behind her back in an awkward position. Thank goodness it wasn't the same arm that Nadia had sliced open. Leah was so close to her she could feel the heat of her breath. "I warned you, bitch. I meant it. I'm about to snap your fucking arm in two, but not before I hear you say it. Admit all of this is your fault. Did you see my little brother? Huh, did you take a good look? You did that to him. Was it worth it? Answer me, Swan."

Bella was blubbering like a small child. Her arm was aching and she was so shaken up by everything that was happening, she could hardly stand there. Leah was absolutely terrifying, but she managed to answer. "No, I'm sorry."

"Not good enough." Leah twisted some more.

"Yes, okay. I know it's all my fault. Just do it Leah. I deserve it."

Leah squinted her eyes, those eyes weren't even human anymore. Bella felt like the guy from the bar.

She prepared herself for the pain that was sure to follow.

"LEAH!" a loud booming voice rang out. "You will not break Bella's arm...ever. Let her go."

And just like that, she was released. Leah was unable to resist the alpha's order. She glared at Jacob, "Of course, my wonderful leader. You always have all of our best interest at heart, don't you?" She turned and left them to go inside to check on her brother.

Bella finally made eye contact with Jacob. Embry had helped him to the house, but at least Jacob could walk. He also looked like a bloody mess, but it was no where near as bad as Seth. His left eye was swollen shut but the other followed her every movement. Embry looked like he didn't know if he should go or stay.

"Go on Em, Bella and I need to talk."

"No, Embry...stay. Never mind, I mean leave and take Jacob with you. He and I have nothing to say to each other because I'm done."

"Bella, please. I'm sorry. I love you."

"Save it, Jake. I can't believe what you've done." She raised her voice as loud as she could wanting to make sure they all heard her loud and clear. Hopefully, even Seth would hear. "You're a monster and today I saw the real you! I hate you for what you've done. Leave and don't ever come back. We're over for good this time!"

She turned to go back in the house and she slammed the door. She could hear his pleadings, "Bella! Bella, that's not true, I'm not going away, not ever. Bella!"

She looked to Paul for help. "I'll go."

He stepped outside and she heard a lot of shouting through the door. Maybe she should go back out and make sure that Paul did not end up in the same predicament as Seth, but a few minutes later he returned. "Is he?"

"Yeah, he left, for now."

Paul reached out and squeezed her hand, perhaps he was the only friend she had left.

Sue was there now and even she gave Bella a look that said it all, like "You bitch, I wished you'd drop dead."

She ignored everyone's stares and asked, "Is he alright? He's going to be okay, isn't he?"

"It's none of your business. As soon as he can move, we'll take him out of here and as far away from you as possible." Leah practically growled everything she said to her. Bella was well aware Jacob only ordered her not to break her arm, but she could hurt her in countless other ways.

Seth did look somewhat better than when they first walked in. Hopefully, he was healing as he should and there were no other internal injuries. "Seth, please be alright. Seth, I hate myself for letting this happen to you. Sue, can I help? Is there anything I can do for him?"

"No, back the fuck up. We don't need you." Leah was coming closer to her now to make sure she got the point.

"Leah, stop," her mom said. "Go get a bowl of lukewarm water and some rags and start cleaning these cuts. I want to make sure they're all healing, that there's no dirt or debris inside." Bella hurried in the kitchen to do what Sue had asked. She had to feel useful even if she knew she was a useless human being.

Seth was making remarkable progress. When she came back to the living room, he insisted on sitting up. He had shredded his clothes in the fight but he had a bath towel across his lap. The dirt and dried blood were all over him and he was still very puffy around both his eyes and his jaw. Bella started to slowly and gently wipe away at all the dried blood. He winced several times when she got close to the deeper cuts. She couldn't bear to look at his face completely. He hadn't been speaking to anyone. His jaw probably hurt a lot. When she got to his stomach and chest, he surprised her by reaching out and touching her hand as she cleaned him. It wasn't in anyway like the firm grasp he'd last had on her shoulders. Seth's touch felt gentle and familiar. She looked up at him.

"Seth, I'm so sorry. I know those are just words, but please believe me. I sent Jacob away. I've been so stupid. I love you, Seth. I really mean it. Please, tell me what I can do. I'll do anything to make you believe me."

"Hummingbird, I think you should let someone else do this." Paul was embarrassed for her and that said something, because nothing embarrassed him.

"No, wait...could everyone please go. I want to talk to Bella alone." Seth finally said something even though his jaw was restricting him.

"You've got to be kidding me Seth," Leah was the first to react.

"Lee, please. Not now."

Sue leaned over and kissed her son on the forehead. "I'm healing Mom, it's fine thanks for everything."

The members of the pack that had stayed filed one by one out Charlie's front door. Paul was the last to leave. He looked back at her one last time and shook his head. He was still worried. She wasn't sure why, but she waved him away.

Now, it was only her and Seth.

"Seth, I meant it, you are who I want. I'm done making mistakes, being confused. I don't deserve you, but tell me if there is any way I can repair this."

"Come here, and sit until I'm strong enough to stand, will you?"

"Of course," she sat next to him, grateful that he would allow her so close to him after everything that happened. The two of them must have sat there an hour listening to each other breathe in and out without saying a word. She sniffed and rubbed away tears whenever they appeared.

Finally, he pushed himself up and slowly made the journey to the kitchen sink. He turned the water on and spent a long while washing and throwing water on his face and hair. He then walked out of the house briefly and went to his truck. She was worried he was going to drive off, and she didn't think he was ready for that. He soon came back inside.

Seth walked back to the couch with her. He licked his swollen lips, but she was so relieved to see how much better he looked. He was healing in front of her eyes, at least on the outside. No telling what she'd done to his heart. "Bella, do you mean what you said?"

"Yes."

"I mean really mean it, no more lies."

"Yes, I mean it Seth."

"Then yes, there is one way to prove it to me."

_**~Thanks for reading.**_


	36. Chapter 36

_**I think I can safely say I've elicited lots of emotions, pure hatred in some cases. If any of you guest reviewers, like to read stuff you hate then by all means, please continue. I hope that anyone that reads and reviews keep in mind, that I put a lot of thought and time into my writing, and wish that you'll always be respectful even if you have criticisms.**_

_**Here's the deal, this skips ahead, but the next chapter is a bit of an outtake that goes back in time. The two go together, so I'll post them close together. (Probably, tomorrow morning.)**_

Chapter 35

_One month later_

Bella was lost in a dream where someone was hammering. No, she changed her mind, one of her Kindergarten kids must of been banging on a drum in the music center. "Ugh, what is going on?" she murmured. She reached across the pillow to find an empty space. Light was pouring in from the window. She'd slept in again, but when she finally came to her senses, she smelled coffee. That is what she needed to pull herself out of her haze.

She tripped again in that same spot that she was still getting use to as she emerged from her room. _Tap, tap, tap_. That was it, it was knocking. She walked to the door ready to yell at Paul for being there too early once again. Bella flung the door open sure what she'd find on the other side; but she almost lost her balance, she was so floored to see who her visitor really was.

"Jake..."

"Hey, Bells...um, Charlie said this is where I'd find you. He wasn't too thrilled about telling me."

No one had spoken Jacob's name in weeks. She didn't think anyone knew where he was. Paul had been left in charge with no other explanation. He looked as awful as was possible for Jake. He had lost so much weight. If she had to guess, at least 20 pounds. His hair was absolutely hideous. It look like it had been butchered with a pair of rusty garden shears. He also looked like he hadn't slept since she last saw him or maybe it was the other way around, that he hadn't been awake since then. He certainly didn't look like he'd seen the sunlight at all. She'd never seen him so pale.

"Jacob, you shouldn't be here," she inadvertently pulled her robe around herself tighter hiding herself from him.

"Um, I really needed to talk to you. Could we go somewhere?"

"No, I can't go with you Jake."

"Okay, well...I didn't want to start anything with Seth, but you really need to hear what I have to say."

"Seth's working. Hold on, I'll go change. Fifteen minutes, Jake. I'll give you fifteen minutes." She ran back and changed into a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved tee. She came back to find him standing in the same spot. She walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. "Would you like some?"

"Sure, I guess so."

She made his mug like she knew he liked and the two of them stood on opposite sides of the breakfast bar. How had they turned into strangers in such a short time, she wondered. He really wasn't, but it was different except when his eyes met hers; she remembered. She quickly stuffed that feeling back down before anything else became of it.

"Okay, what?"

"So, I see things are different." He looked around and shifted his body a couple of times before finishing his thought. "It's my fault, I guess I deserved to have it all backfire in my face, but once you know the rest; we'll see how you feel."

He wasn't really making sense to her, but she was allowing him his 15 minutes.

"It's done, Bells."

"What's done?" she still wasn't following him.

"The imprint, I broke it. It's completely severed, just like I promised you."

She didn't want to react in front of him, but she couldn't help it. She sat her coffee down, and turned away from him. Her hand went to her chest. She could feel her heart pounding, tears threatened to fill her eyes. She couldn't show him this side of her any longer. She pushed it down again. She turned back to him and said what she needed to say.

"Wow, I mean how, Jacob? How'd you do it after everything?"

"I've been with Kelsee. The photos you took helped. We figured some things out and I did a sort of a spirit walk. Lots of stuff with the wolf. It doesn't matter, Bells. You're the first person I've seen, besides Nadia and Charlie. I had to let you know."

"Nadia, how'd she take it?"

"Like the crazy person, she is. I got the hell out of there, didn't care to get stabbed again or worse. I told her to leave the reservation and never come back. I'm sending the council over there later to make sure it happens. Bella, I know I fucked up, but don't you see; I did the impossible for us. I'm ready to act like a civilized human being. We can all sit down together. I swear, I won't fight with Seth again. We can make him understand, you and I are meant to be together. I love you more than ever, no matter what happened this last month. We can get past all of it." He wiped at his eyes. She knew his confessions were heartfelt. He was a very different Jacob, one she'd never encountered.

"Jake," how was she supposed to tell him the truth?

"Don't say no, please. Take your time to let it sink in."

"Jacob, I'm glad you're free, you never deserved to be shackled to her, but..." Her cell phone vibrated on the counter and she reached across to silence it. Kate was sending her a text. She'd forgotten, it was still so new; but his eyes trained on it. She watched him stare down at her hand. The two of them locked eyes again over the bar. He didn't hold back, he reached out and grabbed her hand to get a closer look.

"No!"

"Yes, Jacob. Seth and I got married three weeks ago."

"What? You can't be serious, Bells. Why? Are you fucking with me to get back at me for being such a prick?"

"No, Jacob. It has nothing to do with you. I made my decision and I'm not taking it back. Seth and I are married. I can't be with you, not ever. All we ever did was hurt each other. I had to do what was right for me."

"Then why did you marry him so quick? You weren't even engaged. This is insane, Bells. Can't you do something? Get it annulled for Christ sake. And hurt wasn't all there was between us, you know that, Bells."

"Yeah, but in the end the hurt outweighed the rest. There's no way we're severing the marriage, I love him. He's my husband. Jake, I listened to you, but you need to go now." Sending him away so abruptly was cruel, but what else could she do? Tell him she was happy for him? Nothing she said would have come out right.

Jacob seemed to have a better hold on his temper. The old Jacob would have probably started breaking stuff and yelling at the top of his lungs, but he was still becoming emotional. He backed away from the bar and started to walk around the room. He paced back and forth pulling his hands through his choppy hair. He saw the picture of them on the end table. He picked it up and studied it and then carefully sat it back down. It was taken right after the justice of the peace pronounced them husband and wife.

He turned back to look at her again. His head was shaking side to side. "I don't have anything else to say, I guess. That's it then."

She nodded, it wasn't something she should've said, but she still did, "I'm sorry."

He was gone as soon as she'd blinked her eyes. Exactly, what Jacob had said. _That's it_. She ran back to her room and cried for the rest of the morning. She needed to get it all out before Seth came home. He would hear about the broken imprint and she wanted to assure him as soon as he walked through the door, he was still her choice. She couldn't let her new husband have any doubts, never again would she give him those.

Bella had cleaned up and gotten herself together finally. She'd put on a pot roast and had made some fresh rolls. The house smelled delicious. He would be pleased. She had just pulled everything out of the oven when he opened the front door.

"Mmmm, it smells amazing in here," were the first words out of his mouth.

"Hey babe, you're a little late today."

"Yeah, I know, something came up after work." He didn't divulge what, but she thought she knew. She would wait til he was ready to talk about it.

Seth approached her in the kitchen and wrapped his strong arms around her waist. He placed a warm kiss to her cheek. She leaned into him and took a few minutes to enjoy the feeling of being secured in his embrace.

"You've created quite the dilemma for me this evening?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm starved and that roast smells so good, but I think I might be more starved for you, so I have to decide delicious meal or hot wife. Which do I need more?"

She turned around so that she could see his face. "Who says you can't have both?"

"That's all I needed to hear." He flipped her over his shoulder and ran back to their room. She was giggling all the way until he tossed her on the bed. It started out playful, but she knew by the look in his eyes he needed it to be something more. Seth knew, she was sure of that. He probably even smelled Jacob over the fragrant pot roast. He had to know it meant something that she was still in their home making him dinner that night.

She pulled him down until he covered her body with his and then made love to her husband, only him. There was no passing thought of anyone else. She gave all herself to him. Of course, she'd already had done that, but it was different this time and they both knew why.

She was sitting on the stool diagonally from Seth. He was on his second helping of pot roast. She'd just about finished her plate. They'd been chatting about his day at work. Sue wanted them to come over for dinner soon. Bella and Seth had stayed very secluded with one another since their marriage. They'd only seen Paul and Sue and Charlie. She thought know one else understood what they'd done and she didn't want to allow negativity and naysayers anywhere near them. He thought one day, they should host the pack, but she wasn't sold. Surely, they all hated her. Even she knew, she couldn't hide from them forever; they were Seth's extended family. The reality was, she wanted to mend fences. She wanted to be different because she had her new place in life and she wanted to let everyone know it wasn't a whim, that it wasn't another flip-flop for her.

Seth was quick cleaning up and he joined Bella on the sofa. She was wearing her favorite t-shirt of his, but her legs were cold, so she was bundled up in a blanket. He took a deep breath, "So, how did you take it?"

No reason to pretend she didn't know what he was asking about. "I was shocked."

"All of us were. It's pretty extraordinarily. Sam and Quil are all set to go now."

"Seriously, just like that?"

"Yeah, but Kelsee needs some recovery time and she can only handle one at a time. It changes a lot for all of us. Kinda gives us all some hope, that our lives are our own to do with as we chose."

"I guess so."

He licked his lips. "For a second, I wondered what if?"

"What if what, Seth?"

"What if I walked in and you were gone?"

"Seth..."

"I know, but only a second. After the doubt passed through my mind, I knew you'd be here when I walked in. I knew it for certain, don't ask me how, I just did."

"I'm glad," she rubbed her hand up and down his leg.

"Yeah, well it's going to be awkward for awhile, I'm sure."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Not privately, but one day we'll have to have that conversation."

"Oh."

"Bella, you and I are good. We're exactly where we're supposed to be."

"I know."

She grabbed the remote and handed it to him. It was his night to pick. She stretched herself out and adjusted her blanket and laid her head in her husband's lap and felt extremely content.

* * *

She knocked on the familiar wooden door. He'd been avoiding her for a few days, it was time to put an end to it.

"Hey," was all he said when he saw her standing there.

"You busy?"

"No." He usually greeted her very differently.

"Well, do you want sit outside with me? It's finally a nice day."

"Yeah, hold up and let me put on a shirt."

Bella sat down on the top step and Paul joined her a minute later. She blew a huge puff of air out her cheeks.

"Why so quite?" she asked.

"I was about to ask you the same thing?"

"I can't stop thinking about it," she admitted.

"Well, it's a lot to consider."

"Dammit, Paul. What is wrong with you? You're talking like you're my banker."

"Hummingbird, if I was your banker, I'd close your account because you're always fucking overdrawn."

"Seriously?"

"Yep," his smirk had made it's appearance on his lips.

She couldn't hold it in, she busted out laughing. That was one of the best things anyone had ever said to her. It was completely accurate. "Thanks, I needed that," she leaned into him and he wrapped his arm around her.

"How are you and Seth?"

"We're good."

"It didn't change anything?" was his next question.

"No, we're not letting it."

"I feel a but coming..."

"Well, I wish I knew more, like how is he? Was it painful? Did she leave without a fight? I know none of it is my business now, but I still wonder."

"So you're here to gossip with me?"

"No, of course not."

"I don't think he wants us to talk about it, but yes it was painful and she claims we haven't seen the last of her. As far as he's doing, you should ask him if you need to know."

"I don't think that's a good idea," she knew that was a bad idea, but of course it had already crossed her mind.

"Me either, but if you need the closure, it might help both of you. Just so you know, Nadia hasn't seen the last of me either. I'm going to make sure she gets what's coming to her. I haven't forgotten about any of them."

"Paul, just drop it. She could cause trouble for the pack."

"No, it's too personal. I can't drop it." He scared her a little bit, because she didn't want any more trouble with Nadia.

"So you said Jake was in a lot of pain? How bad did it get?"

"He didn't go into all the details, but it sounded like he had to give up the wolf and somehow commune with him on a whole other spiritual realm and then he accepted him back. It was like going through the transformation all over again. There were times the old woman thought he was going to die or was dead. She wants help next time."

She wrapped her hair up on top of her head and let it fall several times as she tried to imagine what that was like. She truly had no idea, but she knew it sounded like torture.

"Poor Jake, I can't believe he went through all that alone."

Paul had heard enough, he retrieved his arm and stood up so that he could stretch his legs. "Hummingbird, I've kept it in as long as I could, but I told you so. Don't you remember what I told you when you asked me to be your witness at the court house?"

"You told me a lot of things that day."

"Yeah, I did but I'm particularly talking about how you were only mad at Jacob and you didn't mean any of that shit you said to him."

"Seth and I are happy, so you weren't right about everything."

"It's only been a few weeks. I think they call it the honeymoon phase. You've barely even left your little love nest, but for work. It'll eventually wear off and you'll be left with the harsh reality of all your rash decisions, I'm afraid."

She knew Paul was only being honest with her same as always. He didn't get it though. He didn't understand how as soon as she said "I do" a wave of peace washed over her. She finally made a good choice. It may have come out of extreme circumstances and looked like a desperate act to everyone else, but the opposite was true. She'd calmed down so much. She was sleeping again and finally felt like she had stability in her life.

"You're thinking about something. I think you should stop."

"It's fine, Paul. It's good stuff, but I think you're right. When Jacob came to the house, it was all a shock. We didn't have a real discussion. I think I will go and see him one more time, so we both can find some closure."

"I'll go with you," he volunteered.

"What? No, that wouldn't work." Bella didn't need a guardian. She was a grown up. Sometimes, Paul was overboard about being her protector.

"I'll stay outside. He's staying with Billy again."

"I don't need you to stay outside. I need to do this my way."

"That's what I'm afraid of. Don't go."

"After you told me all that he went through, even you said we might need more closure."

"I suddenly have a bad feeling about this. I'm trying to protect the delicate, happy bubble you've created with Seth. You don't want it to pop, do you?"

She knew he worried about her way too much, but she pulled his face down and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Trust me."

Bella started to drive to Billy's, she really was going to do it, but as soon as she saw the little red house; she completely chickened out. "It's too soon, she told herself," so she turned around and went back home. She ended up calling Sue when she got in and agreed to come over when Seth got home. Sue said Charlie was coming, and Leah would be there. Leah and her formed a tentative truce before the actual ceremony. She had a lot to prove to all of them, but she was ready to do that.

Seth gripped Bella's hand tightly. He knew she was a tad bit apprehensive about starting to mingle with others. "It's just family, sweetheart. They were all there at the wedding."

"I know," she took a deep breath and she smoothed her clothes out. They were about to walk in the door.

"Hey, Seth, Bella. We were patrolling with Leah, she says we should come eat," Quil said as he and Brady approached the house.

Seth looked at her, "Um..." Bella nodded and smiled. It was Sue's house and Bella knew she always welcomed the pack. It would make her look even worse if she made Seth send them away.

"Hi guys," she greeted them with a happy smile.

They all entered Sue's together. "Mom, we brought friends, is that alright?"

Sue walked out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a towels, "Sure, I've got plenty."

"Hi Bella, glad you two could make it tonight," her new mother in law told her.

"Thanks for asking, as soon as Seth get's us some more seating, I'll have to have everyone over to our house."

"Even us, Bella?" Brady surprised her. "Because we can stand, you don't have to buy a bunch of chairs for us."

"Um...sure Brady. Maybe some weekend we could have everyone over. The weather is getting nicer, we could even do some grilling and have an outdoor party."

"A housewarming," Quil cheerfully added. He already seemed happier just knowing he was going to break his imprint. "Seth and I were thinking about working on something sweet. You're going to love it," he added.

The night went better than she'd ever imagined. Who knew they'd all be so accepting? Quil and Brady were probably so nice to her because of their respect for Seth, but she'd take it. If they were going to give her chance, she wasn't going to disappoint them. Bella wondered if she could manage all the pack at her house? She knew it would be a long while before Jacob would be involved in their get-togethers, but she had a new-found hope. Maybe even one day, all the relationships would heal enough that even that might happen.

A couple of weeks went by. She and Seth had settled in their routines. She was really enjoying teaching more than ever. The kids had come so far as the end of the term approached. Kate and her husband were on baby watch, but Kate still called or texted everyday for updates about the kids. Bella had originally planned to spend some of the summer in Florida, but she wasn't about to leave her new husband. She was now trying to convince Renee and Phil to visit them. Renee was eager to meet her new son in law even if she'd about caused herself a stroke when Bella announced she was marrying him. She gave her a whopping one day's notice, and it was not a pretty conversation. Bella had several people shout at out her that week, but once the deed was done, they all seemed to back off. She and Seth had officially celebrated their one month anniversary the week before.

She felt it was time to visit Kelsee. She had not seen her in a very long time, which was breaking the promise she'd made, to see her often. Those days were behind her, she was going to be a different Bella. She felt like she already was.

It was so good to see her, Kelsee didn't seem the least bit surprised Bella was married to Seth. Had she already seen it in a vision, but never let on because of her desire to not interfere?

"Dear Isabella, marriage agrees with you."

"Something, I never would have imagined, but you're right. I feel better than ever."

Kelsee's thin smile gradually vanished. "But right here," she touched Bella's chest. "Is still not completely content."

Bella felt slightly panicked at her admission. Why did she use the word "content"?

"No, Kelsee, I'm very happy."

"Not what I said, you know you can't hide from me. I see past the exterior like no one else can. This is the place where you can be completely honest. When was the last time you were honest with yourself, dear?"

Bella didn't know what else to say. She had one other ulterior motive for being there. She thought Kelsee could tell her about what it was like when Jacob broke his imprint. She'd been having dreams, sometimes nightmares, and she'd never been able to make it to Billy's. She'd driven the road several times in the past couple of weeks, but always turned around. She was glad no one knew her new car or maybe the neighbors would've ratted her out to Billy, which have might have made her look like a crazy stalker.

"You have questions?"

"Um...yes, a few of them."

"What is it?"

"Well, obviously, I chose Seth. I married him, but I'm still figuring out my place with the pack. I don't know why, but I think I'm supposed to help them in some way. I don't even know how and I'm not sure half of them even trust me."

"You feel compelled to take care of them?"

"Well, yeah. I think that's what it is."

"Then do it."

"How?"

"However you can."

Bella had one other thought. "I'm pretty sure the council hates me, thinks I'm a trouble maker and an outsider. Do you think I would be nuts to try and make peace with them?"

"No, I think you should."

"How?" she sounded like a broken record.

"Again, only you can figure that out, but they won't come to you. You'll have to take the first step, Isabella. I'm thinking that's not something you're accustomed to."

"No, not in the least."

"Now, for the difficult question. Ask it?"

"Jacob?"

"Yes, what else do you want to know about Jacob?"

"You saved him," Bella wanted to thank her for that.

"From some things, but ultimately, he saved himself."

"I...I'm carrying around a lot of guilt. I want to let it go, but I don't know how."

"The imprint needed to be broken, it was destroying him, keeping him from being the leader he was destined to be."

"But we all know, I was his biggest motivation and then when he succeeded, I ripped him apart again. How am I ever suppose to forgive myself?"

"Maybe it's another one of your duties, to help stitch him back together."

"That's not possible."

"Isabella, you rush way too much. I mean over a long period of time, gradually. You'd be surprised how important the little things are and eventually a lot of little things add up to something enormous. Jacob, is doing better than you think."

"Really, you still see him?"

"Yes, almost daily. He is making sure everything is in order for Samuel."

"Oh, for Sam to break his imprint to Emily?"

"Yes. I have a place for Jacob, a retreat disguised as a job. I'm encouraging him to go there, but he hasn't given me a definitive answer."

"A place, you mean leave? You want Jacob to leave?" she suddenly felt extremely uneasy.

"Not for good, but I think he needs this retreat considering everything. I have made the arrangements, he would be under the supervision of a very, wise spirit guide. I've known him for...well, nevermind how long we've known each other, but he is ready for Jacob."

"Jacob won't leave his pack."

"No, not unless the right reason arises. I'm still hopeful."

Bella sat long enough to finish a whole pot of tea with Kelsee. Her relative had lots of advice for her, some simple, some confusing. Bella had every intention of driving home to do some cleaning. Seth and Charlie were gone for the day fishing. The closer she got to home the stronger the feeling came over her. What if Kelsee convinced Jacob to leave? She said not forever, but it still seemed like she meant for a long time. Did the two of them need closure? Was there truly any such thing? She was tired of those dreams. She drove the familiar road again, like she'd done several times before, but when she got to her turn around spot, she held tight to the wheel and kept straight. She even noticed the circular patterns she'd left in the grass on the side of the road. She passed them up refusing to keep spinning in circles. Bella was going to visit Jacob, and find the closure she thought they both deserved.

_**~Thanks for sticking with me.**_

_**Believe me when I say, "I know...this is crazy." I pull my own hair out when I write this, but I have to go wherever the muse takes me and I promised angst. I meant it!**_


	37. Chapter 37

_**This takes place right after Seth told her there was one way to prove her love for him.**_

_**I'm not the greatest at song choices, but if you get the chance** Fix You by The Offspring** is totally my Seth and Bella inspiration. Take a listen if you've never heard it.**_

**Seth and Bella**

"Bella, do you mean what you said?"

"Yes."

"I mean really mean it, no more lies."

"Yes, I mean it Seth."

"Then yes, there is one way to prove it to me."

Seth took a deep breath and pulled a box out of his pocket. Absolutely, the last thing that had ever crossed her mind.

"Bella, I lied too because at Christmas I assured you I didn't have a ring, but I did. I bought it same time I bought the necklace. I knew you weren't ready for it yet. I knew what I wanted after the first date. It made no sense, you proved you weren't completely committed to me over and over, but I still thought one day things would change. Today, it all did and I know what I said earlier but I was so pissed and so sure that it was the absolute end, until I heard you send Jacob away. Do you want to leave everything else behind and take a chance that I'm what you needed all along?"

She was carefully listening to each word. She could have sworn she could hear her own heartbeat thrumming inside her ears. Seth was hurt, angry, beaten; all one on top of the other. Maybe he was delirious still.

He got down on one knee and opened the box. "Bella Swan, I'll only ask this once. Will you marry me?"

"But Seth, you never wanted me to touch you again. You said, 'don't ever fucking touch me again'. That was only like two hours ago. How could you want to marry me? Seth, I did mean that I choose you, but are you sure we're ready for an engagement this soon? Even without all the other stuff, we've only known each other about 7 months. I don't even know if I'm marriage material. I never had a good role model." She had rambled all that out in one breath.

"Well, I did...the best of role models and I want that with you. I never said engaged either, I said marry. I mean right now, let's get married now. Well...maybe in a couple of days. I'm still kind of messed up and we should at least tell our parents, but that's it. You asked for a way and this is it. I'll know you mean it if you accept my proposal."

She was prepared to give the only reasonable answer possible. It was crazy. They had far too many problems. She shouldn't be getting married, she wasn't ready. She looked deep into his dark eyes that no longer look battered and bruised. He reached for her left hand but held just the very tips of her fingers and she answered the exact opposite of what she thought she'd say, "Yes, Seth. I'll marry you."

He looked relieved. He carefully slid the ring on, which was beautiful. She'd finally taken a good look at it. It was perfect for her, not too large but stunning none the less.

He was still on the floor when she threw her arms around him. She'd just made the biggest commitment of her life, but when he held her on Charlie's living room floor, she didn't feel the least bit afraid of what that meant.

She had already been round and round with her Dad. He wanted to take her to Dr. Thompson, better yet; he asked if she'd like to go to the hospital. She knew he thought she was nuts.

"How did a heart to heart with Seth to tell him about your relationship with Jacob turn into a proposal?" he asked.

She didn't want to go into all the dirty details, but it was hard to convince him she was not completely crazy. The truth was she'd probably never succeeded, but she told him that she and Seth were getting married Friday afternoon with or without any of them and she'd much rather have him at her side than not.

"You already love him like a son, how many father in laws can say that?"

"I know, Bells; but I wasn't completely sure you two were dating and now you're going to be married. I think you can understand my dilemma."

She could totally understand her father's doubts, but she hoped in the end he'd stand by her. Seth was in charge of Sue and Leah. He also had his work cut out for him. They both knew she was a cheating bitch as Leah so affectionately called her. It was true, so he had a lot more convincing to do. Bella had only one other person she wanted there. She would let her mother and Phil know Thursday night. Renee would freak, but she was so far away, she couldn't do anything about it. That's why Bella was waiting til the last minute to tell them. She'd considered waiting til after the fact, but Charlie put his foot down and told her to stop being a coward.

Bella asked him over mid-week. She'd been trying to get him there sooner, but he said that something had unexpectedly come up and he was super busy.

Before Bella got any words out, Paul told her Jacob was gone and he was in charge at the garage and with the pack.

"Where? Why you and not Sam?"

"He didn't want Sam because of Emily. And why do you care where he is? You hate him, remember?"

_Oh, yeah_. She thought. Hating Jacob, well, that was something she'd thought about every night when she went to sleep. It wasn't possible for her to really hate him. She was still upset with what had happened, but the truth was that was her fault way more than it was Jacob's. She'd pushed him to do what he did. She wasn't going to spend another second thinking about regrets and what if's. Seth still wanted her despite everything and she was completely giving herself to him in two days. Her life had taken a sudden turn, but she was grateful. The way it had been going was disastrous.

"Paul, I don't want to talk about Jacob, all of that is in the past."

"Right, sure it is," he said with a heavy dose of sarcasm.

"Paul, I don't want to think about him. This isn't about him. Besides, you saw him. I never knew he was capable of such violence. I guess I've had my head in the sand half the time."

"Hell yes, he's violent. We all are, but you're wrong about one thing."

"What?"

"Jake was not trying to kill Seth. If he had been, Seth would be dead. He consistently relented and let him go, but Seth kept coming back, attacking him from behind. Jacob was defending himself. Don't get me wrong, Jake was a major asshole, and Seth was acting out because you two gutted him, but you were wrong about the fight. I was out in the woods with them, in their heads."

"And I called him a monster. The very thing, he hates to be compared to."

"Yeah, well...emotions were all over the place that day. That's why we all needed to step back and not make any rash decisions. I knew you were pissed at him and didn't mean any of that shit. All of us did, even Jake. I'm sure Seth knows it too."

He wasn't going to be very receptive to what she had to say next. "I have huge news."

"What, you're running away? Moving back to Florida?"

"No, Seth and I are getting married Friday and I want you to be my witness."

Paul slightly pulled his top lip in his mouth and he squinted his eyes. He leaned in a tad bit closer and studied her. He acted like he was looking for something.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for my hummingbird, and I'm right with my assumption. She's gone, I don't know who the fuck you are, lady."

"Paul...that's not true. It's still me, I've finally made a firm decision. That's the only part of me you're not familiar with."

"That makes absolutely zero sense, you know that don't you?"

"It does to me and Seth. We don't need it to make sense to anyone else."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah."

"Then why tell me? Why ask me to be there? You want my approval don't you?"

"Not exactly. I need your support. I know you're the only one that understands me."

"Wrong again. I don't understand you. I never have."

"Then why do you put up with me?"

He put his large hand around the side of her neck and got extremely close until their opposite cheeks were touching. "You know why?"

She swallowed hard, and felt that familiar flutter in her chest.

"Paul, I...I'm sorry, but I can't be like that with you. I need you too much."

He released her, "Uh, huh. I know you react to my touch. We're under each other's skin and none of us can honestly say why. How's that going to go over with your husband? God, I can't believe I'm already calling him that."

"He knows you and I are close. Are you saying it's too painful for you and I'm going to lose your friendship if I marry him?"

"No, I never said that."

"Maybe you should; you're selling yourself short spending time with me."

"No, are you forgetting what I did with my time before you? It's still a step up," he reminded her.

"Why do you do it?"

"Because I never wanted or expected anything good for myself. I'm still willing to take whatever part of you that you'll give me. Not Seth and not Jake; they want it all and it to only be to for them. I know you're not ready to give that, but they don't care. That's why I'm better, that's why you'll always come back to me."

"Well, it's pretty normal for a man to want a woman that's loyal only to him. You can't blame them for being normal?"

"No, but you're not a normal woman."

"Are you saying I'm strange?"

"Yes, exactly for lack of a better word."

"I'm ready to be normal, faithful and dependable. I want a peaceful life."

"I don't think that's true. Hummingbird, you know I don't beg, but please don't marry Seth. You're not ready."

"When the day arrives, I'll be ready," she assured him even she only had two more days to be ready.

"And you'll never think about Jake again?"

"No, of course, not. Part of me still loves him, I won't deny that to you, but I know how to bury those feelings. I've already started."

"You are hands down the biggest bullshitter I've ever met and that says a lot, considering the way I've lived. That's enough, there's nothing else to say. The answer is hell no!"

"Paul, even Leah agreed to come."

"She's blood, she has to attend. I don't."

"But you're..."

"I'm what?" he stepped in again to stare into her eyes.

She didn't know how to answer his question. He was something. He was more than a friend, but the word didn't exist and they both knew that.

She walked backwards from him and casually reminded him, "If you change your mind, court house in Port Angeles 3:30 this Friday."

* * *

Bella was a bundle of nerves as she finished up in the bathroom before her appointment to get married. It was a little weird they weren't having a traditional wedding. She'd never been the kind of girl to fantasize about a wedding, but after Kim's she did kind of imagine something a little different.

They'd kept the wedding hush hush, but she did go to Billy for his blessing. She thought it was the right thing to do since he was the chief, but it was an emotional meeting. He also encouraged her to step back and take some time with her decisions. He was like everyone else, still in the dark about his son's whereabouts.

She started out of the bathroom but was greeted in the hallway, by a less than friendly face. It wasn't like their last encounter, but it was still tense.

"Stop, before you do this; I want a word."

Leah motioned for her to go back in the bathroom so they could have some privacy.

"Leah, I know you don't like me anymore or trust me, but..."

"Stop right there. None of that matters. Seth is the only thing that matters to me and after many long conversations and arguments, I know now you're both fucked in the head, but he loves you and this is what he wants. I will not lose my brother over you. So before I go and give you a bunch of threats and warnings that I'm sure you expect; I'd rather tell you what to do instead. Love him as much as he loves you and don't make any of us regret this day."

"I will, I promise and I won't make any of us regret this. Thanks for at least giving me the chance, Leah."

Leah shoved a bag into Bella's hands, "Here, I got you this."

"Oh, you didn't have to, but thanks." Bella carefully peeled back the tissue paper and saw something white and lacy and figured she'd save it for later instead of opening in front of everyone.

Leah shrugged her shoulders and had a mischievous look on her face.

Bella didn't want to keep Seth waiting any longer. It was less than 5 minutes from their appointment. Charlie was waiting for her outside the large double doors that led to the room where the judge performed wedding ceremonies.

"Hey Dad."

Charlie put his arm around her, "You ready, kiddo?"

"Yeah," she couldn't help it, she was a tiny bit disappointed Paul refused to come. It was an unreasonable request she'd made on him, but she still had hoped he might have changed his mind.

Charlie had his hand on the door knob, when she heard him round the corner.

"Hold up, Chief the best person is here."

She lit up with excitement at the sight of him.

"Paul...you came."

"Yep. Hey, can we have one second?" Paul asked Charlie.

Charlie squinted his eyes and gave Paul the usual disapproving look, but he stepped aside and said he'd go check one last time if his tie was straight.

Bella threw her arms around her friend. "I'm so glad you're here. You don't know how much it means."

"I just want to be clear. I still think you're making a huge mistake, but what kind of friend would I be if I didn't stand by you even when you're fucking up and it never hurts to have a big favor owed. You owe me big time, hummingbird and I'll be sure to collect when you least expect it."

Charlie appeared next and they let Paul go in first to take his place. He was going to stand up for Bella and Leah was there for Seth. It wasn't the tradition wedding party, but nothing about this had started out traditional. Bella started shaking again when she looped her arm with Charlie's.

"I got you Bells."

They made their way down the very short aisle. Seeing Seth's smiling face calmed her down a little bit, but she still had a nagging notion in the very back of her mind that she might never be enough for him. The judge got straight to the point. There weren't any frills to the ceremony. He made it more procedural than anything. Seth changed the atmosphere when he slipped a ring on her finger. His vows were so moving. They were the typical repeat after me ones, but the way he looked at her and the way he said them, she was completely overcome by his love for her. She was very quite, but she repeated them back to him as well. She was surprised she wasn't shaking when she also slipped a ring on his finger. In fact, by the time the judge said a few more words and pronounced that they were indeed married, she felt calm wash over her. She'd finally done something good in her life.

Another marriage was scheduled just after them, so they had to get out of the court house. Sue and Charlie surprised them when they announced they had a room reserved at a local restaurant for an intimate family reception. She had no idea they'd planned that, but she was thrilled to hear they would even have a wedding cake. She wasn't having to miss out on all the traditions, after all. Seth got the directions and led Bella to a blue SUV. She was confused.

"Seth, whose car is this? Did you get rid of your truck this week without telling me?"

"It's yours."

"Mine? What?"

"I thought we'd start off completely brand new today. Do you like it?"

"Are you kidding, it's amazing. I love it, but it's too much. That's a heck of a wedding gift." She could totally see why Seth wouldn't want her driving the old truck anymore. It was just one more reminder. Seth opened the door to her new Tahoe and helped her climb in.

"Seth, can we afford this?" one more thing she didn't know about him. She had no idea how much money he made.

"Yes, I don't have a truck payment or a house payment and I got this at auction. It was a great deal. I hope you don't mind that I didn't let you pick it out."

"No, it's perfect, really it is. You're spoiling me already, Mr. Clearwater."

"It's only the beginning Mrs. Clearwater."

She giggled, it was so strange to hear her new name, but she liked the sound of it.

The restaurant was very nice. Kim and Jared were there. Bella ran to her. "Kim, I'm so glad you could make it."

"Bella, this was a huge surprise, but I'm happy for you and Seth. Now we're both married ladies together," she laughed. "Perhaps, one day soon we'll have babies together. Wouldn't that be great?"

_Whoa_, Bella thought. "Um, Kim I'll leave that to you and Jared for now. You can let me know how that is and maybe by your third or fourth, I'll be ready to start."

Seth and Bella didn't take too long with their reception, they stayed long enough to enjoy a nice dinner and to cut their cake. They were anxious to get on the road. Seth had asked her where she wanted to go on a honeymoon. He originally mentioned Seattle to which she quickly replied "No." She didn't want anything to cloud the start of their marriage and it hadn't been very long ago that she had spent a weekend with Jacob there. Seth ended up finding them a small cottage in Moclips. It was a small beach community near the Quinault Indian Reservation. It was going to be close to ten o'clock by the time they got there.

Bella took a nice little nap on the way. She was shocked when Seth woke her to tell her they'd arrived. "Let's have a look inside first and I'll come back for our bags." She held his hand as they walked up the short, cobblestone path. The cottage was small and quaint. She couldn't see too much detail, since there was only a dim porch light on. Seth had picked up a key on the way in at the office. He unlocked the door, but before she could go inside, he literally swept her off her feet and carried her over the threshold.

"Don't you know it's good luck if I do this? I'm going to carry you in the entire time we're here and when we get home."

She laughed at his declaration, but liked the sound of anything that might give them extra good luck. He swung her around in a circle, before carefully placing her on the floor in front of him. She'd kissed him several times since their first kiss at the wedding, but she and Seth were both a little modest with their affection in front of others. This would be their first kiss as a married couple behind closed doors. Seth placed his palm over her cheek, she licked her lips and watched him do the same. He leaned in gradually, not all at once and then pressed his soft lips into hers. Her hands went into his shoulder length hair. She loved that he kept his hair a little longer. It felt thick and luxurious against her fingertips. Seth took charge of the kiss and pulled her even closer.

She felt her insides tingling. _I really do love Seth, this was the right thing_, her mind reassured her. He didn't let her feet stay on solid ground for too long. He lifted her again and walked them to the bed. It was a small cottage, pretty much one large room with a small kitchenette, and a sitting area along with the bed. Bella and Seth continued their kissing, it had become even more heated as soon as they were horizontal. He'd almost made her forget, but it was going to be their first time and she really wanted to make it special.

"Wait, hold on a sec," she pulled away from him and quickly climbed off the bed.

He pushed up to a sitting position. The twisted expression on his face most likely meant, "You've got to be kidding me...still," but he didn't say so.

"It's something good, I promise. I have something special I want to wear for you. I just need 5 minutes in the bathroom to get ready. She'd shoved Leah's bag into her backpack and she was glad she'd remembered to have brought that in with them or else she would have had to send Seth out for the bags.

"Wear?" he questioned. "I'm trying to get your clothes off and you're stopping to put more on."

"Not more, just different...trust me, husband. I'll be right back." Bella grabbed the bag where she'd dropped it and ran into the bathroom. The bathroom was a shock to her considering the size of the cottage. It had a very large jacuzzi tub. It just might be big enough for her and her husband despite his height and bulk. _One romantic moment at a time, Bella._ First, she had to get past the first time. She felt like slapping herself. That wasn't the right thing to say. That made it sound like she wanted to get it over with.

She didn't want to think about her other first time with another man, but it was there in the recesses of her mind. That had been so spontaneous and had caught her completely off guard. She'd been planning this moment all week off and on, since she accepted his marriage proposal. She pulled out the lacy nightie. She held it up to the light. "Oh my god, Leah." She could see through every inch of it. Could she seriously wear something like this? Seth was her husband now, she shouldn't hide from him, but she was suddenly less than confident. She took a deep breath and slipped out of her dress. She put the panties on first. She guessed that's what they were even if they didn't have a backside, lace and strings were about all they were. She slipped the top portion on next. The softest shade of baby blue lace covered the bra area, and the rest was white and sheer. Yep, he was going to see everything. She was freezing. The cottage didn't have the heat on, she assumed, but she knew the minute she hit the bed with Seth, she'd be scorching. She went over a few important details like brushing her teeth and straightening out her hair. Her make up was smearing, so she used warm water to remove the rest. Seth wouldn't care if she was wearing makeup. When she pulled her head up and dried off with the hand towel, her eyes played a trick on her. For a split second, she swore she saw the ghostly image of Jacob standing behind her. She jumped a foot, but managed not to scream. She hit herself with cold water next, and luckily she didn't see it again. She'd gone way over the five minutes. It was more like fifteen. Poor Seth was probably beginning to think she was cheating him out of a wedding night by now. She doubted he was even turned on anymore.

She mentally kicked herself. This was her husband, her final choice; she needed to go in there and do her wifely duty. No, she shook her head, again. It wasn't a duty, it was an act of love. She loved him, and she wanted this with him. This was going to be amazing. Seth was perfect. She trusted him and she knew he would be a wonderful lover. She took one more deep breath after she turned off the bathroom light and then she finally emerged from the bathroom.

He was sitting propped up against the headboard looking extremely anxious. He didn't have his shirt any longer. She wondered if he had anything else on. When he saw her, the anxiety seemed to lessen. He looked very pleased.

She walked over to his side, "Turn around." She spun around slowly, so that he could see it all. "I like it, a lot."

His hand came up behind her and rubbed her skin from the back of her thigh up to her exposed butt. He left his hand there and squeezed her a few times.

"You look very beautiful, Bella."

"Thanks, so do you." He laughed, but it was true; Seth was a beautiful man.

He pulled back the sheet and two of her questions had been answered: he didn't have on anything else and he was definitely still turned on. She climbed on the bed with him and they immediately clung to each other. Seth's kisses were hungry. He mapped out her body with his mouth. She briefly closed her eyes when he was devouring her neck, but her mind almost played tricks on her again. She couldn't compare them. It was so wrong, so she decided keeping her eyes wide open was the thing to do. Seth must of noticed, because he did the same thing. The two of them watched one another the entire time. She needed to see him, know it was him and only him. Seth was so gentle and careful with her in the beginning, but once he felt her body respond to their lovemaking; he changed it up. He became more aggressive and much more self-assured. She liked both ways, he was sexy either way. When he found his release inside of her the first time, it was an incredibly emotional and physical response. Seth kept kissing her face over and over, all the while telling her how much he loved her.

"Seth, I love you so much. You were so amazing. I'll always love you," she was crying into the crook of his neck.

By seven the next morning, she'd enjoyed her husband three times already. Lucky for Seth, she'd taken that long nap and even luckier for her...werewolf stamina. They had both dozed off for a couple of hours, but she woke up to him stroking her hair, which was probably a tangled mess on the top of her head.

"Hey beautiful wife."

"Hi, handsome husband, you ready to get up? I'm actually pretty hungry."

"That's a first, you asking to eat before me."

"Yeah, well you know how to work up my appetite."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. The two of them sat up and Seth held her against his chest. He rubbed her shoulders and down her arm for a little while. She kind of thought he might be lulling her back to sleep.

"Bella, you can say no if you're not ready, but I want to talk about it. I mean... don't you think we should?"

The reality was most people would have already talked, but they hadn't. They'd swept that whole day under the rug when they decided to get married. She knew it wasn't completely rational, but she was fine avoiding the topic if he was. Now he wanted to talk about it on their first official morning as husband and wife.

"Um Seth...what do you want to say? It's one of my worst moments and now this is one of my best. I don't know how else to describe it."

"You loved him. It was obvious, I knew that but I kept thinking it would fade away. I guess I was in denial."

"Seth..." surely, he didn't want to talk about Jacob while he was holding her in the very spot he'd spent the night making love to her.

"Bella, I'm not an idiot. Lots of people may think that if they know about the affair and that I married you despite it. I know all your feelings couldn't have possibly disappeared in a week, but I believe each day that we spend together, that our love will grow and your feelings for him will fade. I'm going to do whatever you need to make you feel comfortable. He'll be back and he'll still be in our lives. It's inevitable because of the pack. We all have to learn how to coexist."

"Okay, but hopefully, it'll only be me and you for awhile. I don't want to share our time with others at first. This is so new. I never thought I'd be someone's wife, but here we are." She placed a kiss to his chest. "I'm yours, I promise. Tell me what I need to do to earn your trust and I'll do it."

"You said the vows same as me, you have my trust again. I believe you meant the words."

"I did, Seth. I meant every word."

_**~Thanks for reading.** _

**Next Chapter: Bella intends to meet up with Jacob for closure. **


	38. Chapter 38

**_~back to our story~_**

Chapter 36

She parked the Tahoe close to the Black's house. Jacob's Challenger was out front, which didn't necessarily mean he was there. She knew he also had the motorcycle and the Rabbit. She was just about to head towards the house when she heard rattling and banging from the small detached garage. She carefully walked closer to have another listen. She heard a few more clanging noises and then Jacob swear. It was definitely him. He was in there. She took a deep breath and steadied herself. She was trying to build up the courage to knock or say something. She'd made it all the way down the driveway and out of her vehicle this time, so this was the last step.

The door swung open the next second.

"Are you ever going to come in or you planning on spying on me all day?" he asked.

"I...I was going to knock. You didn't give me enough time."

"Oh, well it's been almost 10 minutes since your door shut. I figured that was long enough. Can I help you Bella?"

"No, I...I mean. I thought you and I might need to talk, but I can see you're busy. I should go. Sorry."

Jacob wiped his greasy hands off on a rag and shoved them in his pockets. "Talk? Didn't we already do that? You married Seth, end of story."

Was that the end of their story? It was a question that she asked herself several times.

"You're right. I shouldn't be here. Goodbye, Jake." She turned on her heels to open the door which had slammed shut on its own as soon as she stepped inside.

He stalked her and pushed the door close before she even had a chance to open it all the way. "No, I changed my mind. We can talk or would you rather keep driving half way down the driveway and turning around."

She was shocked, "Um...how? I never...I have a new car."

"Yeah, I know. I saw it the day I came to Seth's. I always notice cars, Bells."

Her cheeks were burning by the time she realized that he knew she'd been trying to come over all those times.

She took a look around the garage to see what he might be doing. "Oh, the Rabbit. Did you have an accident?" The car would provide a good distraction from her humiliating behavior.

"No, don't ask." She had asked because the Rabbit did look a little banged up and she could tell at least two of tires were flat.

"Wait a second. Did Nadia mess with your car?"

"What else, Bells? It happens to be a nice distraction though. I've been getting it back in shape, kinda reminds me of the old days when things were easier."

"Like before you knew me?"

"No, like before I was a wolf, Bells. Jeesh, not every fucking thing is about you."

She looked at her feet and kicked at the floor. He was right. Of course, she wasn't the center of the universe, and she could easily understand why he'd said that.

"Bella, why are you here?"

"I was out at Kelsee's earlier."

"Oh, that's nice. She's been missing you."

"She mentioned you might take a trip. Is that true?"

He tilted his head to the left and raised his eyebrow at her. "Gee, I don't know; but I didn't know I should run my travel plans by you any longer."

Jacob was laying it on thick which was fine. She deserved it. On the outside, she was sure it seemed she never paid for the decisions she'd made; but inside her heart and mind, she knew she suffered. Standing in close proximity to Jacob, made it rise closer to the surface. He already looked healthier than he had the day he told her about the imprint. She remembered Kelsee's words that Jacob was doing better than she thought. Why was she even there? She had a husband that was completely in love with her. Jacob was going about his life, free from Nadia and her. She felt the urge to leave again.

"Jake, I really shouldn't be here. I can see that now, but I did want to check on you and tell you I'm sorry for how everything happened. I know sorry doesn't help, it's only a word, but I still care. I want you to be happy."

She took a deep breath and decided this time she would be successful exiting the garage. She opened the door and walked out, feeling relieved he hadn't responded to her lame apology. She started back to the Tahoe. He ran out of the garage after her.

"Wait a minute, Bells. I need to change, maybe take a shower, but can you please wait? I want to take you somewhere? Will you do that? Will you take a drive with me? I swear we won't be gone an hour...tops."

"I don't know, Jacob." He held his hand up in halting motion.

"Please, just give me 5 minutes."

He ran inside and she sat there in her car. Why was she considering this? Where could he possibly want to take her? She turned the key halfway and then back again. She should go home, she'd said her peace. Maybe she would have felt better if he would have screamed and shouted, called her a bunch of names; but "take a drive with me" that was such a strange request.

But when Jacob ran out of his father's house with a wet head and a fresh pair of clothes, she was still frozen. She never willed herself to leave. Instead, she climbed in his car as soon as he opened the door for her.

"Your hair looks a lot better."

"Yeah, that was necessary and the old woman had trouble keeping me still. Kelsee cut it in the midst of one of my raging fevers. I got it fixed up when I took Sam to get his head shaved."

"Sam shaved his head?"

"Yep, it'll be easier now that we know what to expect."

"Well, yours looks good, but I like it a little longer." She covered her stupid lips after she said that. What difference did it make anymore what she liked and didn't like about Jacob? He wasn't hers. He never was if she was being honest with herself. She decided it was best to say as little as possible as he drove them to wherever he wanted to show her something. The way she'd loved Jake had been too much like the way she'd loved Edward. She remembered writing that in her journal one night. It scared her to feel like that again. After all, her feelings for Edward had become an obsession and it broke her. She almost died because of them. Of course, she now knew there was more involved than her questionable sanity. What she had felt for him scared her, it still did. She was supposed to be finding this so called closure, but the longer she sat in the passenger seat, the more nervous she began to feel.

Jacob drove onto a road that wasn't paved. She thought they were close to the cliffs they use to hang out at, but she wasn't sure since she had been feeling distracted. He soon stopped at the edge of a strip of land. A square area had been cleared off where the dirt was spread out.

"What is this place? Is someone building a house here?"

"Yeah...me."

"Oh, it's a beautiful area, I can see why you chose it."

"Look that way," he pointed upward.

She looked to where he pointed, they were next to the cliff. This was in the direct line of sight when you looked towards the south from the cliff. That's why it had felt familiar. She wasn't sure if Jacob brought her there to remember a happier time. She really didn't know why she was with him at all.

I bought the lot the week before we went to Seattle. That's why I was so distant that week. I was irritated with you, I admit that but I was busy with all the paperwork, and the land survey. I planned on surprising you, but then I completely fucked all that up."

"Jake, we both made mistakes, but I think the whole world would agree it was primarily me."

"Why Bells? I guess that's what keeps me up at night still."

"Why what? Why did I marry him?"

"No, why didn't you trust me about breaking the imprint?"

"I don't know." She was too ashamed to look at him. He is the one that had sacrificed it all. He went through something incredibly painful and dangerous. She could think back to dozens of times when he told her to believe in him, to trust him. She thought she did, but she proved she didn't.

Jacob surprised her when he stepped in front of her and pulled her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "Are you happy? That's what I have to know."

"Yes, of course. You know he's good to me and truly loves me."

His thumb swept away a stray tear from her cheek. "Why are you crying then?"

"Because...I can't help it," she tried to pull away from him but he didn't let her.

"You told me how he feels, how do you feel, Bells?"

"Jacob, I can't do this. We shouldn't be here in this place you bought for us. That's why you brought me here, isn't it? To show me what I gave up?"

"No, well...I don't know. I just wanted to be here with you, at least once."

"I do love him."

"I believe you, but no matter how much we've hurt each other, you still love me more. Can you at least admit that to me one last time?"

"What good with that do either of us? Please, take me back to my car, Jake. I need to go home."

Jacob didn't argue with her. They headed back to his house and said very little to one another. He did ask about his sketchbook, the one she use to hide in the truck.

"It's under my bed at Charlie's. You can go get it anytime."

"I will."

Bella got into her car, realizing the entire trip to visit Jacob had been a complete waste of time. She didn't feel like she'd found closure and she was pretty sure he didn't either. He briefly turned around and waved. It looked like a goodbye forever wave to her if such a thing existed. He approached the door to the house, and held the screen for awhile. He didn't turn back around, but he was frozen like he was waiting. Finally, he gave up and went inside. As soon as he disappeared, an invisible force wrapped around her and started to reel her in. She didn't even remember taking the steps it took to get to the door. Her hand only knocked once. The door opened, seemingly on its own. She stepped inside feeling out of breath, but she answered his earlier question, "I'll always love you more."

* * *

"What are you doing here?" she asked Paul who was staring right through her as soon as she stepped out of her car.

He started to slowly shake his head, "Dammit, hummingbird. When will you ever learn?"

"I...I don't know what you're talking about," she lied, but she could tell somehow he knew.

"What do you got, an hour, maybe two before Seth gets back? This is going to be a disaster. Hurry up, get inside...take a shower, then soak in the tub. I'll put some candles on or something to mask the scents."

"I already took a shower at Charlie's," she was pretty much admitting her transgression to him without actually saying it.

"It wasn't good enough, now go!" he yelled.

She turned the water as hot as her skin could stand. Her mind was a blur even as fresh memories replayed, like how she'd gotten out of her car and gone to the door. She told him the truth about her love for him, and the door lock clicked right after. She never intended to break her vow, the ones she'd insisted she had meant, but one touch led to an embrace and that soon led to the ultimate act of betrayal. Of course, she cried like a baby afterwards. It was a mixture of tears. Some were because of what she'd done to Seth again, but the rest were because she knew it was the last time ever with Jacob. They both agreed without hesitation. He apologized for putting her in that position, said he would never ask her to have an affair with him. He also would never ask her to leave her husband again. He was going to leave La Push as soon as Sam was done breaking his imprint.

She was slightly relieved there would be no more temptations, no chance of running into one another. On the other hand, it meant he'd be gone indefinitely and even if she shouldn't see him again, she would miss him.

Paul tapped lightly on her bathroom door. "I've got three candles burning. The whole place smells like cookies, cinnamon and lilacs. It's kinda gross. Where are your cleaning supplies?'" He opened the door when he asked that last question.

"Paul, get out of here, I'm still in the shower."

"Oops, I'm sorry. I wasn't sure you could hear me. How was I to know you had a clear shower curtain?"

"Go!" she shrieked.

He cracked the door again. "Remember what I said fill the tub up and soak. I'll still be here when you get out."

She finally made an appearance in her rather fragrant living area practically frozen and shriveled up. The water had turned cold over an hour ago, but she continued to sit there staring at the white tiles.

"Finally...I checked a few times at the door to listen to you breathing. I thought you might be tempted to drown yourself."

"I probably should have."

"Yeah, but I would have been compelled to come in and rescue you and then I would've seen you naked, even more than I saw through the shower curtain." She slapped him in the arm, but it didn't even matter if Paul saw her. She didn't have the energy to care or be embarrassed.

"Why are you still here, Paul?"

"I don't know other than I love suffering, both yours and mine."

She fell against his shoulder and started to cry again.

"I told you that you weren't ready for this, but you're in this marriage. You promised, I was there. I might be here for you right this minute, but I won't stand back and cover for another affair of yours while you're married to Seth. I have to draw the line fucking somewhere."

"There isn't going to be an affair. It was a one time thing."

"Sure, and you're known for your truth and honesty."

"Fine...I don't expect you to believe me. Only Jake and I know what happened and what we agreed to. We meant it. He's leaving as soon as Sam's okay."

"For how long?"

"I don't know." She looked down at their intertwined fingers. She hadn't realized she'd grabbed his hand as soon as she'd sat down with him. He had already started to warm her back up.

"Paul, what is the deal with us?"

"I've been asking myself that for months."

"I'm a shitty friend, I'm sorry."

"You're an even shittier person, but I still love you." He place a kiss to her temple.

"I swear this is it. This is the last time I screw up. I'm going to find something good to do. There has to be a way for me to become a better person."

"What are you going to do, start volunteering with the homeless or something?"

"Maybe, but the first thing I plan to do is visit Old Quil."

"Why would you think seeing that old fossil would lead you to the path of enlightenment?"

"I don't, but I hated seeing how the pack and the council were. Someone should try and build a bridge between the two groups. I think it would be better for the tribe, and for future generations."

"So the 'little white girl' thinks she's that someone?"

"No, not exactly, but I want to at least give it a try."

"Hopefully, there won't be another pack once we all quit one day."

"You really think that?"

"Well, yeah, no new ones since Brady and Collin, it's been nearly five years and the only vamps killed recently were the ones Jake hunted. They were way out of our range. Hopefully, we've all seen the last of the Cullen's too. Those freaks are the ones that started all this in the first place."

Bella got up and warmed some food up for them. Seth was later than she thought he would be. Paul brought it up one more time.

"I told you not to be alone with Jacob."

"I know and like usual I didn't listen. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stay away one last time. You have no idea what it's like to love someone so much and know you can never truly be with them."

He froze in front of her. She felt his eyes burn a hole deep into her soul. "Naw, of course not. I can't imagine."

She was confused about what she should say next, to break the trance they had both fallen into, but Paul's phone went off in his pocket.

He pulled it out. "Gotta go, hope this day doesn't backfire on you, but this is you we're talking about. I won't hold my breath." He gave her a quick hug and ran out the door without saying another word.

She turned the TV on attempting to find and escape, but that wasn't possible.

"Bella, sweetheart, come on. Let's get you into bed."

"Huh?" she was very groggy, but she felt Seth lift her off the sofa. She must have dozed off. He got her settled in her spot on their bed and she turned her head to see the clock.

"What? It's after midnight, Seth. You couldn't have possibly been fishing with my Dad all these hours."

"No, pack emergency which turned into a family emergency. Go back to sleep and we'll talk about it tomorrow. It's Sunday and we have the whole day with each other."

"Is everyone okay?"

"Yes, quit worrying and go back to sleep."

Bella got up early and made Seth a hot breakfast. She mentally erased her indiscretion the day before, it was the only way she'd be able to face him and act like everything was the same.

"So what was the emergency?"

"Sam got started. Jacob wanted us all there. We're going to take turns helping. He wants us to all be experienced. Apparently, he has a job on a cattle ranch in Idaho. How random is that? He's leaving Paul in charge."

"Oh, how long is the job?"

"Months, a year...who knows. He says when he comes back things will finally be different, for the better."

"Do you believe him?"

"Maybe... I'm not going to lie and say I'll miss him because I won't but I'd never expect him to leave La Push for good. That wouldn't seem right either."

"Is Sam okay?"

"Yes, but he was in some pain right away. Quil is staying close by trying to prepare when it's his turn."

"You said something about a family emergency. Are Sue and Leah okay?"

"Yes, it was about Emily."

"Emily? Oh, I guess she's upset about Sam, who could blame her. What did he tell her?"

"He told her he was breaking their imprint and there's was nothing she could do to stop it and as soon as that part was over, he was filing for divorce."

"She flipped?"

"That's putting it mildly, but she knew it was coming since Nadia was forced out of here. Mom asked if Leah and I would take her to her parents. She still feels obligated since technically, we're family."

"But you don't even like her."

"Exactly. It was difficult, but we still did it. Leah managed to not kill her, which was shocking. What'd you do all day?"

Bella froze. Of course he was going to ask, but she wasn't ready to answer the question.

"Um..."

"Besides cleaning. The place was fine already, sweetheart. It smelled downright funky in here when I walked in. You might want to take it easy and stick to one product, my nose is sensitive, remember?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Of course, maybe I should buy some organic products that have less fragrance."

"Whatever you want." he walked around the bar to give her a hug and a kiss. "Hope you relaxed and didn't work too hard."

"What would like to do today?" She needed to change the subject.

"I guess I'll hop in the shower and then I thought we could spend the day out. Maybe we could take a walk on the beach and then go out for lunch. How's that sound?"

"It sounds nice, Seth."

He started down the hall and she watched him. He turned around, "Care to join me, wife? We'll save water," he enthusiastically added.

_Push it down a little harder, Bella_, she mentally told herself. _More like tape it with duct tape and toss it in the ocean._

She took a deep breath and let one footstep after the next lead her to the bathroom to be where she needed to be with her husband.

* * *

_Knock, knock_, she gave two firm taps on the wooden door frame.

Finally, the door cracked just a few inches. "What do you want?"

Old Quil asked that and she wasn't sure if he knew it was her or that was his normal method of answering his door.

"Hi, Mr. Atera. It's me...Bella Sw...um, Bella Clearwater, I mean."

"Fine, now that you've figured out your name. I asked a question. What do you want?"

"Oh, well I made a pie. I wanted to offer it to you, and maybe we could have a little chat. We've never been properly introduced and now that I'm married to Seth, I thought we should get to know each other better. It's key lime, I've made them before. It's really good, I promise. Could I come inside?"

"No, and what's a key lime?"

"It's a lime, only smaller, maybe a little more sour."

"Don't care for sour, no thanks. Keep it, my program is on, so goodbye." That was it, he slammed the door right in her face. Failure, on her first attempt at being a better person.

She was about to head back home when Quil surprised her in the driveway.

"Hi Bella, what are you doing here?"

"I was trying to make peace with your grandfather."

Quil started laughing. "That's hysterical. You should have asked me first, he's never made peace with anyone he doesn't like from the start. Don't take it personal. Whatcha got there?" he was eyeing the pie pan.

"Oh, it's key lime pie."

"Grandfather doesn't like sour stuff."

"Yeah, so he told me. Well, bye Quil. I'll see you around," she reached for her door latch.

"No, wait...you aren't throwing that away are you?"

"No, I guess I'll take it to Seth even though I made one for your grandfather and one for us."

"Well, if Seth already has his own pie, I'll take it. Hold on..."

Quil ran in the house and came back with a fork. He motioned for her to join him on the steps of the porch.

"Do you mind?" he looked at the pie pan and was practically salivating.

"You want to eat it now?"

"Sure, why not."

"But you don't have a plate or a knife so I can slice it.

"Give it here Bella...please," he added.

She was shocked that he pulled off the cover and dug right into the middle of the key lime pie.

"Umm, so good. Grandfather's loss is my gain."

Bella had never been alone with Quil, but she found he was so easy to talk to. She tried to explain her intentions and he gave her a few pieces of advice even though he wasn't quite sure what she was trying to accomplish. He told her first mistake besides the limes was coming to the house. She should try the council hall. He might be more receptive for a talk there. Quil told her he knew for a fact he'd be there with Joseph Friday afternoon around 4. He also told her the old man was very partial to chocolate, so try something along that line.

"Are you nervous about what's in store for you?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's hard not to be after watching Sam scream in agony and convulse all over the cot, but nothing will change my mind. Grandfather says he plans to tie me up to prevent me from trying, but I'd like to see him try."

"He's worried about you."

"I guess, even he admits the imprint with Claire doesn't seem right. Only to me, he's never admitted that to anyone else."

"You have a special relationship with him."

"Yes, which is weird. The pack hates him."

"Oh, I don't think anyone hates each other on either side, I think it's confusion. Some people get angry with what they don't understand."

"Bella, maybe you can make some headway with my grandfather. It's no secret, you've caused an uproar with our pack. Things are very different since you arrived, some of it's fucked, but not everything."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop being sorry, that doesn't change anything. We were far from perfect before you moved here. Look at me, I've been following around a little girl for five years. It's sick."

"You couldn't help it. I'm not supernatural, at least you've got an excuse."

"Yeah, but something is going on. I even heard grandfather on the phone one night. I think he is more curious about you than he's willing to admit."

"What do you mean something is going on?"

He shrugged, "I'm not sure, but since you seem to get your way, maybe he'll open to you eventually."

"Get my way? I...I never intended to come across like that."

"Haven't you ever heard the saying: the road to hell is paved with good intentions?"

"That's not a very inspiring thought."

"Oh, well...it's obvious, Bella, you do get your way. Are you serious? Paul Lahote doing anything and everything for a woman that doesn't give him one morsel of sex, it makes no sense."

"Quil, do you like me?"

"Yes, I like you."

"Does the rest of the pack like me?"

"Maybe."

"I want to help out more if I can. I want to get to know all of you better."

"Too bad you can't cut hair. Jake paid that lady in Forks 34 bucks to clipper cut his and Sam's hair. I'm too cheap and I'm not looking forward to loosing my curls," he rubbed his hand through his head of thick curls.

She pushed his shoulder, "Get out...I know you were kidding, but I do know how to cut hair."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I spent a few summers in my Uncle Jeff's salon. I suck at women's hair, but I know how to cut simple men's haircuts. You think Charlie's looks okay, don't you? How about Seth's?"

"Yeah, Charlie's looks normal, but Seth? He actually let you touch his flowing locks?"

"Only for a trim a few weeks after we got married, but yes."

"I'm impressed, you've surprised me. How about we bargain? I bring groceries over, you cut my hair and make me dinner?"

"That sounds somewhat one sided."

"I'm giving you the groceries, Bella, for free."

"Okay, when it comes time for you to go to Kelsee's, I'll take care of you." She thought she'd need a better clipper set, hers was old and she'd never used it on such a thick head of hair.

"Are you ever going to see Claire again? Did you tell her? Does she understand?"

"I probably shouldn't see her again. I mean it isn't like I hate her like Jake and Sam. She's a kid, a difficult one, but I think the imprint did that. Who knows maybe she'll turn out okay once I disappear from her life. Her parents are taking her to talk to someone."

"Like a therapist?"

"Yeah, they're going to say she lost a special friend or some shit."

"Oh, that might help."

"Does your therapist help you? I know Seth said you see one."

"She tried, but I stopped going."

"Why did you quit? You all better?"

She laughed at the absurdity of his assumption. "Not hardly, I quit because I got married and she was going to think it was a terrible idea."

"So you don't listen to anyone that doesn't agree with you?"

"No," she replayed her words back to herself, he was confusing her, but she was sure she confused him even more. "I don't know Quil. I'm a chicken, okay."

"Bella, go back to your therapist. If you married Seth, then stand by your decision. You admit you're not completely better, now is not the time for you to try and handle everything on your own."

Bella watched as he took the last bite of key lime pie. He let out a very loud burp after sitting the pan down beside him. "I can't believe you devoured that entire thing while we sat here talking."

He had a huge grin on his lips and a swollen belly to prove it. She knew he'd run it off soon enough.

He walked her to her car and closed the door. She rolled down the window to tell him thanks for the talk.

"Remember what I said: see your doctor, grandfather likes chocolate and stop being a chicken. You're pack now and we could all use a little motherly attention. For once, we have a female that doesn't only care about herself."

Bella drove away feeling much better after her time with Quil. She had been very selfish these past few months, but it was good to know he could tell she did care about others. Now she had to find a way to prove it.

**_~Thanks for reading. _**

**_Que long author's note: This is the last time, I'm going to "defend" Bella. She's screwed up and I think she admits that with her inner mumblings, but she hasn't done much thus far to change the obvious. Of course, she messed up again, but from here on out; lots of changes will occur. The biggest thing is soon all these crazy people are going to start telling the truth. This whole fic is deeply intertwined with the supernatural. I think that was pretty obvious considering who Kelsee is and how she's related to Bella. I'm just going to write it how I see from here on out. If it drives some readers too crazy or they never think Bella can be redeemed, I understand that. I'm actually going to pull back a little and not update as often, as the angst was starting to make me a little crazy as well. I have other stories (**whispers: one I haven't even published yet**) and RL is about to get crazy again as summer comes to an end. Thanks again for all the support and feedback. I promise I will finish Revival and one day, it'll all make sense._**


	39. Chapter 39

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer is the sole owner of Twilight and all recognizable characters.**_

Chapter 37

"Bella, hey," a gentle hand was rousing her out of her slumber. "Do you want something to eat?"

Bella looked around to find she was stretched out on the sofa again. She remembered sitting down after school, but she hadn't meant to fall asleep.

"Seth, I'm sorry. Let me get supper started."

"Don't worry about it, I made a couple of sandwiches. You want one or something else? I can start a bath for you and we can go to bed early. You seem awfully tired lately."

"Oh, no...I'll make some oatmeal, but I can't go to bed. I have to make a chocolate pie for Quil's grandfather. I'm going by there after school tomorrow."

"Why? He was rude to you again, I might add. You seem like you need your rest instead."

"No, I'll catch up on the weekend. I have to make the pie or pies, do you want one too? Then I have to finish up our class project." The kids have been making cards for Kate and Baby Rylan. Kate had her son 4 days ago and Bella had the pictures on her phone. The students were so excited and couldn't wait to start making their special cards and drawings. Bella planned on visiting one day next week when when they got settled into their routine.

"Okay, honey; but I'm helping. Tell me what to do."

"The pie filling needs lots of stirring as it cooks, so you could do that. We'll finish them in less than hour and then I have maybe an hours worth of schoolwork. We can still get to bed early," she smiled at her husband. His offer to help was a reminder she didn't deserve him. That thought was always on the forefront of her mind for many reasons.

"Old Quil has to be nice, deep down. I mean, he's old and Quil loves him. I thought all grandfathers were sweet. I wish I could remember mine, but he died when I was very young."

"I'm not sure about that, but if it's that important to you, try again, I guess. I don't want him to keep disappointing you. If he doesn't get any better tomorrow, you should give up; but it's up to you. I don't like anyone being mean to my wife." He pulled her in for a warm hug and kissed her softly. "Now let's get you something to eat. I swear you've gotten thinner since we got married and I've put on a few pounds. You need to eat more of that good food you're always making."

Bella still didn't have much of an appetite, but she cleaned her bowl of oatmeal mixed with some fruit. She and Seth got busy with the pies soon after. He was funny trying to stir. She had to demonstrate a few times, what she meant by slow even strokes. He was going to end up flinging chocolate everywhere if he kept it up his way.

* * *

Bella walked in the council hall like she was supposed to be there. She decided to take a different approach with Old Quil. She wasn't going to let him know he intimidated her this time. She walked up to the table and sat the chocolate cream pie in front of the two men.

They both stared at her, dumbfounded when she announced why she'd stopped by, "Hi, I brought this to you two. I'll run in the kitchen and get some plates and forks."

"Wait a minute. This is a private meeting. Why are you here?" Old Quil asked.

"To talk and share this pie with you. Do you want me to put on a pot of coffee, as well?"

Joseph looked over at the pie and said, "I wouldn't mind a little coffee, myself."

"Joseph..." Old Quil admonished.

"Well she's already here, we never have any snacks. I'm hungry."

Bella smiled and went to the back where the kitchen area was. She dug around til she found everything she needed. She heard the men whispering back and forth. That was fine, maybe they'd get it all out of their systems and then talk to her a little bit. She wasn't expecting anything major, but she really wanted to know the mindset behind all the secrecy. Of course, she knew why it was pertinent to the general public, but why the pack? Things had happened that were directly related to them, yet they were kept in the dark most of the time.

She had a least accomplished one thing she'd set out to do, Quil's grandfather started eating the pie. He looked surprisingly pleased when the chocolate confection went in his mouth. He wasn't as quick as Joseph to tell her what he thought, but she saw him slowly take bite after bite. He was enjoying it, she at least knew that.

"Mrs. Clearwater, you make a mighty fine pie. I haven't had something like this is a long while. Mind if I have one more piece? Make it really small, if you don't mind. My wife hasn't been letting me have very many sweets lately."

She panicked for a second. What if he had some kind of health issue and she'd just gorged him with food he wasn't supposed to have. "Oh, you aren't diabetic or anything, are you?'

"Goodness no, girl. She thinks I need to get rid of this." He patted a small belly, but she didn't think it was too much. Lots of older men had that. She relaxed and did what his wife might reprimand her for, but she wasn't going to always bring them rich desserts. It was a special occasion, so she cut him another slice as thin as she could get it without the piece falling apart. She glanced at Mr. Atera with questioning eyes.

"No thanks, I'm good. Um...it was very good. Thank you Mrs. Clearwater. I even reconsidered the other day, and thought I might try the key lime one, but I checked the pan on the table and wouldn't you know; that damned boy had eaten the whole thing."

Bella laughed, but how nice was it of him to admit that? Maybe she was going to make a little progress. She decided to ask a few questions and try her luck. They both seemed way more relaxed than she'd ever witnessed previously.

"Gentlemen, I don't want to keep you from your talk, but I wanted to talk a little about what happened the day you realized some of the archives were missing. That day everyone was confused and upset. I'm sorry if I offended either of you."

"Nonsense, I wasn't offended. I was worried and now that I think about it; I was so relieved it wasn't Jacob. We shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I'm Joseph Jones, by the way, we've never properly been introduced, but you are a new member of our tribe as far as I'm concerned."

Bella took his extended hand in hers and he gave her a polite handshake.

"Jones? That's easy enough for me to remember. Thanks Mr. Jones."

"Yes, white settlers insisted on last names a long time ago. We aren't all named after the forest, you know?"

"Oh, I know, I've read quite a lot of history."

"Of the Quileutes?" he asked.

"Yes," Bella thought back to her teen years when she was trying to figure out more about Edward and the fateful evening she'd visited the out of the way bookstore.

Quil's grandfather sat rather stoic as he watched the interchange between Mr. Jones and Bella. She could tell he was sizing her up, trying to figure out how much he could trust her. She wasn't sure how much time he'd spent with Nadia. He had called her a sweet woman. She had undoubtedly conned him and he'd gotten burned and embarrassed in front of his fellow council members.

"Mr. Atera, I know you don't know much about me other than I'm a paleface from Forks and I dated a cold one. I'm sure you also know I caused a lot of discourse with the pack, because I had a relationship with Jacob while he was imprinted with Nadia. I'm ashamed of a lot of my past choices. I'm really sorry for any trouble I caused, but I'm committed to Seth and also to this pack. I fully support them and I think the council and the pack could both use a little revising. All I mean about that is that the groups should work together and not against each other."

"Mrs. Clearwater, those boys, men, whatever you want to call them are our tribe's greatest asset. I've never said otherwise. We, on the council, know that but they are stubborn and impulsive. I guess it's the wolf. They don't want our guidance. Jacob, especially, he wants everything his way, but we won't concede. We have a powerful history, and we honor the past."

"I agree, you should, but if that's the case, why not share that history more freely with them? Make them understand. They all started out transforming into the wolf at a young age with no warning, no preparations other than stories that they were told were only legends. They were the truth, why did no one say anything when Sam phased and you all knew a pack was emerging? That's why they're all so stubborn and distrusting, I'm sure of it."

"Would it be better for a bunch of youngsters to go around worrying about something that might never happen or to have the burden of such a crucial secret? We thought it was better to do as our ancestors did."

"I respectively disagree. I have a confession to make. When I found those archives where Nadia had stashed them," Old Quil grimaced at the sound of her name. "I snapped some pictures of them and Jacob showed them to Kelsee. She used information to help him break his imprint. It was a very bad imprint, are you willing to admit that now?"

"That woman lied to me."

"I know she did, but you should know; that was her so called profession before she met Jacob. She met older men and got in their good graces and then she stoled from them. You shouldn't be ashamed. She was a professional, you couldn't have known."

He shook his head and looked down at his clasped hands. "I...I wasn't a pervert. Quil told me that's what they all thought. It's just, she was a nice lady and of course, I thought she was pretty, but I thought she was our Alpha female."

"I know. She hurt a lot of people, I'm so glad she's out of all our lives for good. Are you mad about the pictures?"

"No, I had my suspicions after Jacob and now Sam is progressing rapidly. I'm afraid for my grandson though. Something could go wrong. I just don't understand. The history didn't speak of all this destruction. The imprint is a gift. We really tried to figure it out, but there are complications."

"What kind of complications?" She wanted to know what he wasn't telling her.

"Hey, Quil, maybe we should ask Mrs. Clearwater. She's a teacher." Joseph responded.

"No, Joseph," he stiffened again. She hadn't completely won him over yet. "She teaches a bunch of little kids. It isn't the same."

Joseph shrugged. Bella wasn't sure what they were talking about.

"Please, give me a chance. What question do you have?"

"We ask that you keep this private, but we need someone to learn the language in its entirety. We're in danger of not being about to translate all the archives. It was a project started almost fifteen years ago, by Sarah Black but since her passing no one would take the responsibility."

"I...I'm having more trouble seeing small print these days, same goes for Joseph and we also still don't have complete understanding of the whole language. It's considered a dying language. A great deal of the tribe knows key phrases and sayings, but I bet even Kelsee admitted she doesn't know it all," Old Quil further explained what Joseph had started.

"Of yes, I remember her saying that once. So how many people do know the full language and why can't they help preserve the integrity of the archives? You want a copy in English as well, is that what you mean?"

Joseph answered after Quil's hesitation, "One."

"I'm sorry, what do you mean 'one'? You want one extra copy?"

"No, there's one old woman that knows the complete language. She's all that's left. A long time ago she taught it at the school, but we don't have that anymore. This younger generation knows very little. I know because I have grandsons. Eleanor was teaching Sarah Black. Eleanor's daughter was also learning, but got swept away by a young man in her twenties and she left the state."

Bella had a hard time believing, one elderly woman was all that was left. "Well, isn't there anyone else Eleanor can teach?"

"She is getting up there, she's had a stroke and her hearing is bad. She's tried with a few times, but she's difficult. They all end up quitting. We're afraid she'll pass away soon and we'll only be left with bits and pieces."

Bella had no idea what she was getting herself into, but she couldn't stop from volunteering. This was the purpose she'd been searching for. "I'll do it if you let me. I'm a fast learner and even though I teach young ones, I majored in English. I learned Spanish and Latin in college. I can do this if you give me the chance. I'll help establish classes. We could teach them here, but please can we start sharing more information with the pack?"

The older men looked back and forth at each other and at Bella. Old Quil gave her a tentative reply, "I don't know young lady. There's a lot to consider here, and I might have a lot of clout with the council, but I would have to speak with Chief Black. There are many factors to consider, one being you're a newlywed, a working woman. What you're considering would take much time and effort. I doubt you have the time for it. That's been our problem in the past."

"Well, what about you, Mr. Atera?" he seemed completely with it and he already knew a lot. It seemed like a reasonable question.

Joseph laughed, "He can't see good enough, I'm not that bad, but he is. I keep telling him to stop driving. Beware if you ever see him on the roads."

"Shut up, you old bastard. That's not true Mrs. Clearwater."

"Bella," she corrected.

"Huh?"

"Please call me Bella, now that we know each other a little better. I want you to. Do you need new glasses?"

"He doesn't wear them."

"No, I never needed glasses before."

"Well, maybe things have changed with your eyes, when is the last time you went to the eye doctor?"

"Never."

"You've never been? Well, I'm due to go. I could take you, if you like?"

"You wear glasses?"

Bella pulled a pair out of her purse. And put them on. "Yeah, for reading. I had to get them in college, it's no big deal. I'd be happy to take you. Who knows maybe you have a cataract or something. Those make your vision cloudy, but it can be repaired."

"Hmph," was all he said, but he was thinking about it, at least, she thought he was. She had reason to believe he was very proud and wasn't quite ready to admit his age.

She had probably most definitely worn out her welcome. She had talked with them much longer than she imagined. Hopefully, Billy would give permission and the council would go along with it. She told them she should be getting home to make Seth dinner and told them the pie was theirs to keep and enjoy. She could split it and send it home in two boxes, but Joseph said 'no', still not wanting his wife to know.

Old Quil said he might get one more piece before Quil sniffed it out after patrol, so he'd take the pie.

Bella remembered Joseph's mention of his grandsons. She decided to ask him more about them, since his eyes had lit up when he mentioned them.

"So Mr. Jones, do you only have two grandchildren?"

"Oh, no I have five, but only two live close by, twin boys. Jordan and Trevor spend a lot of time with their gramps. They're good boys, love to hunt and fish. They keep me young."

"That's so nice, do you have a picture of them?"

"Oh yeah, I keep one with me all the time." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a thin wallet. He opened it and proudly showed her his picture. Bella kinda giggled, the way he'd described them, she thought he had a couple of young grandsons, but they were grown. They were probably forever boys in their gramps's eyes.

"Very handsome, young men. Are they in college or working?"

"Aw no, they're finishing up 8th grade. Don't let the size fool you, they're only 13, but their father is a good sized man, they take after him."

Bella felt like her heart literally fell out of her chest and into her lower extremities. It couldn't be, they were all so confidant. Was no one paying attention?

"Mr. Jones?"

"Joseph, if we can call you Bella, call me Joseph or Joe, I go by both. What is it, dear you look upset?"

"Um...has Jacob ever seen your grandsons?"

"Sure, they use to come to council meetings with me when we first started meeting with the pack. They'd play out back."

"But recently, has Jacob seen them recently?"

"No, why?" It took a few seconds, but he finally got it, "No no, it isn't that sweetie. Their dad's big, that's it. Brady and Collin were the last. We're all pretty certain."

"How can you be? I...I really think you should call Jacob. I can if you want me to." That was probably something she should not be doing, but this was important.

"Jacob's gone," Quil said it like it was common knowledge.

She felt like he'd punched her in the stomach. Yes, she knew he was leaving, but not yet.

"No, he's with Sam, he hasn't left yet."

"Yes, his father informed us he left last night. Sam's doing fine, he's over the bad stuff and the others are taking care of him. For some reason. Jacob couldn't wait to leave La Push. I guess too many memories haunt him currently, but he promised to come back when his head is clear."

Bella didn't want to break down in front of them, she'd been very convincing about being strong and committed; the last thing they needed to witness was her blubbering over Jacob when everyone knew she was Seth's wife. She tried to drive home as quickly as possible, but she couldn't make it. She was so overcome by the tears, she had to pull over because she couldn't see any longer. Why was she having this sort of reaction? She knew he was leaving. She'd assured herself it was for the best and she was prepared for it, but when they told her he was gone, she couldn't contain herself. It physically hurt her. She sat there a little while longer crying and trying to get over it, but finally, she couldn't even hold in her stomach contents. She opened the door and vomited on the side of the road. She looked around, but didn't see any of them. Someone was probably near by, she needed to get herself together, before Seth saw her. He might get the wrong idea and think Joseph and Quil were mean to her, which was not true at all this time. However, she couldn't admit the truth, that she missed Jacob so much, she threw up. Well, he knew she had the stomach virus from school a few weeks ago, maybe he'd think she was relapsing if she couldn't hide her reaction.

She finally took some deep breaths and got back on the road and made it home in time to take a long bath. She finally relaxed enough to not look so haggard. Seth surprised her with Chinese takeout, so she wasn't going to have to make dinner. He pulled out the containers and as soon as he opened the lid, the smell hit her and she grimaced. He threw his arm around her, "What's that look about, you love sesame chicken?"

_**~Thanks for reading and for the great feedback I've received. There are plenty of people that still love this story as much as I do.** _


	40. Chapter 40

_**~A/N Wow, I'm such a sucker for you guys. I have another update! I think almost every reviewer expressed their belief, Bella is pregnant. I never said such a thing,(LOL) but maybe this chapter will answer all your suspicions. Also, one tiny detail: I never said when Bella visited Quil the first time. It's obvious I have to skip over days sometimes. It was in Sam's second week at Kelsee's which is how Jacob was able to leave at the end of the week. Jacob was gone about a month breaking his imprint, but Sam is going faster, because Jacob knew exactly how to instruct him, since he'd been through it. It was like giving Sam a blueprint for breaking the imprint. These are all extra tidbits that weren't explicitly spelled out in the chapters.**_

Chapter 38

Bella was lying on Seth's warm stomach while he rubbed his fingers through her hair. Once she'd overcome her initial queasiness from the Chinese food, she settled down on the sofa with Seth and enjoyed their food. She must have still been nauseous from how upset she'd become in the afternoon. As soon as they finished eating, Seth gave her the look. She had been falling asleep on him almost every evening, so she eagerly shook her head and they raced back to their room. Of course, he let her win for the thrill of the chase. She had become a lot more comfortable with him and she wasn't as concerned that her thoughts would betray her during their intimate times. It didn't mean that while she was alone, she hadn't stopped thinking about someone else. He was still there, always threatening to rise to surface when she wasn't consciously shoving the feelings down.

She apologized, "Sorry, I've been out of it this week."

"It's okay, but I missed you," his hand left her hair and went to the bare skin of her back. "Tell me what happened today, you seemed to be a good mood."

"That had a lot to do with you," she looked up from her resting place to give him some assurance, "But you're right, I had a good visit with the Joseph and Old Quil."

She went on to tell him all that had happened, but when she got to the language part, he didn't quite share her excitement.

"Bella, I'm not sure about that. Do you have any idea what you are getting yourself into? There's a reason they're having trouble finding anyone. It's a confusing language and I heard Eleanor is a little crazy. I thought you were looking forward to summer and more free time?"

"I am, I'll still have free time."

"I'm not so sure."

"Well, it isn't a done deal. They have to talk it over with Billy."

"Which means, it's a done deal. You know, Billy would never say no to anything that concerns you."

Bella wasn't sure how to respond to that. Was it true that Billy had that much of a soft spot for her?

"Don't you think I can do it?"

"It isn't about that, but you're doing so much right now. You've had so many major life changes these past 9 months."

"I know, I still need to work on some things. It's not like my anxiety problems have disappeared, but I finally am back on Dr. Thompson's schedule. I go next Thursday."

"That's good, and of course, I believe you can do anything you set your mind to, but if it gets to be too much, don't be afraid to say something. I don't want you to stress about it."

She wanted to know what he thought about her suspicions about Joseph's grandsons. She wasn't around when all the boys started phasing, but she had heard plenty of stories. "Seth, don't you think one of you should check it out?"

"I guess I'll mention it to Paul, Jacob's gone." He'd let that slip out like it was no big deal. Good thing she'd already been hit with that information earlier. She certainly wouldn't have wanted to have the same reaction she'd had earlier in front of him.

"I know," was her only reply.

"But Joseph's right, those boys have Jennings DNA. Every guy in that family is big."

"Like pack big?" she questioned. Something, was different with each and every member of the pack compared to others. They weren't typical, that's for sure.

"No, not exactly. Their father is probably 6' 2" but broad. He and his brothers are thick, kinda stocky; not exactly muscular. Is that what the twins look like now?"

"No, they looked like you or Paul or Jared. That's what their bodies reminded me of, not as developed or as tall, but not 13 year old bodies."

"We'll check it out, but if their own grandfather isn't worried, I'm sure it's fine."

* * *

Bella was finally on her way to Kate's. She had begged her to come after work, Tuesday. Bella was concerned it might be too soon and she didn't want to disturb them, but Rylan had turned a week old the day before. Kate said she was going stir crazy and need some adult interactions. She gently knocked on the door in case Rylan was asleep. Kate opened the door quickly with her son in her arms. She must have been waiting close by the door. Bella hugged her friend on her free side. She got her first look at the baby in person. He was mostly bundled in a soft blue blanket, but she could see his sweet round face perfectly. She had never been so close to a newborn. He was soundly sleeping in his mother's arms. She would have never dreamed of disturbing him, but Kate immediately insisted she hold him.

"Go wash all those little rugrat germs off your hands and then sit on the couch and I'll let you hold him."

"Oh, no that's okay. I've never held a baby. I don't want to upset him."

"Nonsense, Bella, you won't upset him, you'll be fine. I never knew much about babies either, but now I have my very own that is dependent on me every second of the day. You'll do fine."

Bella did as Kate instructed and thoroughly washed her hands in the powder room under the stairs. She wasn't sure how much she should wash, so she cleaned all the way up to her elbows before joining them on the sofa. Kate immediately handed her son off to Bella.

"Support his head, like this." She showed Bella how to hold his head in the bend of her arm and she slid a throw pillow under Rylan's little body. "Relax, Bella; you look like a natural," she giggled.

Bella didn't feel like a natural, she was very nervous, but she calmed herself down with some deep, even breaths. She didn't want to upset her tiny, new friend. He continued to sleep even after the transfer to a stranger's arms.

"So Kate, how are you doing? You look amazing. Was it really hard...having a baby?"

"Thanks, hon...I finally got out of my pajamas and took a long shower and actually put some makeup on because I knew you were coming by." She paused for a minute, "As far as how hard it was, maybe I should keep it to myself. I wouldn't want to scar you for life, I'm sure Seth wants children with you someday."

Bella looked down at the infant again. She knew Seth wanted children, but they hadn't discussed when or how many. One of the many conversations they'd skipped after their lightning fast nuptials. Thinking back to a few seconds ago, Kate said Rylan was dependent on her every second of the day. That sounded extremely daunting. She most definitely wasn't ready for that, but it did feel nice to hold something so sweet and innocent in her arms. She was enjoying the way it felt, immensely.

"Isn't he great?"

"Oh, yes, he's so beautiful Kate. You and Reese must be so proud."

"You should smell him," Kate encouraged.

What? Kate wanted her to smell her son. "Why?" she asked like a dummy.

"Because, silly, there's nothing else like it."

Bella wasn't sure how she was supposed to go about that, but she leaned in closer and took a deep breath near his little fuzzy head. Ah, Kate was right. She'd never smelled anything so sweet. Maybe that was the first reason, parents fell so easily in love with their children. Kate was shaking her head up and down after seeing her response.

"Told you."

"He's precious," she complimented again. "Is he always this good?"

"Yes, except when he's hungry or in need of a change; he can scream so loud the windows rattle."

She laughed, but then Rylan started to stir. He started moving his head side to side in search of something Bella did not have.

"Oh, it's time for a feeding. You aren't squeamish about breastfeeding, are you?"

"No, of course not," Bella told her even though she'd never witnessed it up close. Hopefully, Kate would be discreet.

Kate took her son, and moved to another chair across from Bella. Nope, not discreet at all. She lifted her shirt and opened her bra in one maneuver. Bella looked away not wanting to stare but Kate wasn't shy at all. She kept on talking with her boob out in the open. She wanted to know about each and every kid at school. She wanted to know if Bella thought any of them weren't ready for 1st grade. Bella only had concerns about one kid, but she would go over some of the assessments with Kate at a later date and they might have a parent meeting before the end of the year.

Finally, Bella's curiosity got the best of her. Kate hadn't given her any information about giving birth, but she asked another question, "Does that hurt?"

"At did at first while we were both figuring out, but it's better now."

"Oh, well that's really good for them, so I've read."

"Yes, and I'll be home all summer with him, so I'm going to keep it up as long as I can. These boobs have been on a journey, Bella. I'm serious, it was the first clue I knew something was up. We weren't planning to get pregnant yet, but one day I could not get over how bad they were hurting. I thought it was pre-period pain, but then I realized I was late. Oops...9 months later; look what we have here."

Bella spent another half hour with Kate and Rylan. He finished eating and burping and Kate announced he was in desperate need of a new diaper. Bella thought it was a good time to let them alone. She needed to get home and start dinner. Charlie and Sue were stopping by. She also sent Leah a text to join them, but she hadn't heard back from her yet.

Bella climbed in her Tahoe and pulled the seatbelt on. She noticed it then, tingling pain across her chest where the strap had pressed across her left breast. She paused for a second. Kate's words still fresh on her mind, "her first clue". No, that couldn't be right. Bella never missed her pills, did she? Well, not counting when she was sick with the same thing almost every Kindergarten student had. She'd barfed all her stomach contents before bed one night several weeks ago. She couldn't hold anything down the next day, but she'd doubled up the day after that. That was what she was supposed to do. It's what the instructions said. She was sure she'd gotten it right. Oh, who was she kidding, her brain had been mush for over two weeks, since she'd spent that last day with Jacob. Just the thought of him made her hyperventilate. This had to be a mistake, there was no way; because if it was true, she would have a dilemma. A huge one, one that never in a million years she would have ever believed she'd be in. The truth was when she searched her calendar on her phone she knew, she indeed was late. She was almost through with her week of placebos and nothing had started. Over the last few months, she'd noticed her periods had gotten lighter which was most likely due to her birth control, but this was complete absence of one at all.

Bella did the only thing she could do, she drove straight to the drugstore after leaving Kate's and bought 3 different brands of pregnancy tests. She was extremely relieved to see Seth hadn't made it home yet. She ran to the bathroom with her purchase as fast as she could. She decided to try the most expensive brand first, thinking that was the most accurate. She followed all the steps provided in the instructions. Three minutes...that's all it would take for her to know for sure that she'd completely over-reacted and there was another reason for everything she was experiencing. Her phone beeped as soon as the timer expired. This was it, it was time to read the test. There it was written out in plain text: PREGNANT, the not was missing and just like Paul had predicted, "hope this day doesn't backfire on you, but this is you we're talking about"; she slid down the wall of the bathroom as the full impact hit her. What was she going to do?

"Baby, I'm home. Where are you?" Seth called out to her.

She scrambled to gather up everything she'd bought and crammed them in her box of tampons under the sink. No chance he'd be in there. She stood up and looked at herself. She always looked as crazy as she felt when she was having one of her moments, so she threw some cold water on her face and brushed her teeth to see if that would help. She ran out of the bathroom and into Seth's arms to greet him. He gave her a kiss and asked if she needed any help since company was coming in an hour. Wouldn't you know, Leah accepted the invitation. She had just texted him. Next thing she knew, Seth made a face; he sniffed the air. She knew what he looked like when he did that and he gave her a peculiar look.

"Baby," she blurted out.

"Huh?"

_How stupid can you be Bella_, she asked herself. "It's Kate's baby. I...I visited Kate and her baby this afternoon."

"Oh yeah, I thought something was different. So how was it?"

"It was fine, he's cute...everything's good." But it wasn't, she was screaming inside. How much time did she have? She doubted she could keep this to herself very long. It wasn't like she wanted to hide this secret from him, but she needed a little bit of time to process it. She hurriedly put together some spaghetti and meatballs, but every few minutes she'd remind herself, _you're going to have a baby_. It was a stressful night, but thankfully it ended up being alright. Leah was a little nicer each time she'd encountered her since the wedding. Charlie, finally seemed satisfied that Bella was so much better since settling down with Seth. Little did they all know, she was about to turn everyone's world on it's side.

* * *

She was sitting on the comfortable couch in Dr. Thompson's office. Dr. Thompson was pleased she'd come back, but shocked at all Bella had to tell. This was the first time she was completely honest, minus supernatural stuff. She didn't hide any of her actions from her. She finally decided this was the one person that was required by law to keep all her secrets and if she really wanted her help and sound advice, it did her no good to hide things or only tell her a bunch of half-truths.

"Wow, Bella, I don't say that very often, but you certainly have a lot to consider. This could be Jacob's baby. Am I right? What do you intend to do about that?"

"I don't know, but I'm 98.9% sure it's Seth's anyway. He's my husband and Jake was only once."

"You and I both know, once is enough."

"Yes, but 95%, at least; it's Seth's," even she was dropping percentages without thinking.

"Bella, would you keep this from them indefinitely?"

"No, Jacob would eventually know, if it was his."

"How?"

"He's uh...Jake's very perceptive. Trust me, he'll know and then everyone will know. Maybe I should get it over with right this minute and make a full confession to Seth."

"I'm all for being honest, but you make so many rash decisions. It's still very early in your pregnancy and you said you aren't seeing Dr. Oliver for another 3 weeks. Why don't you give yourself a little more time to let it all sink in? I'm not telling you either way. You've sworn you are committed to your marriage, maybe telling him about the one time betrayal would not be what's best for you. I don't normally encourage my patients to lie, but I'm very confused and conflicted when it comes to you, Bella. Everything is not black or white. You seem to live a lot of your life in a gray area."

Dr. Thompson had given her a lot to think about. She'd also changed up her medications because of the pregnancy. Bella knew without a doubt, she did not have 3 weeks. Seth's abilities were too acute. He might already suspect something was different. She decided to test it out with the person she could trust the most. After leaving the office, she called him.

"Finally, you answer. I need to stop by, are you home?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry about avoiding you, but I'm busy all the time at the garage trying not to piss off customers. Jake said if I lose one client, he's kicking my ass. I'm not good at listening to all their complaining about mysterious noises or grinding. I just want to fix the car and tell them all to shut up. I don't have the patience to be in charge."

"I'm sure you're fine... Let me hang up, so I can drive. I'll see you in 20 minutes."

Paul answered the door in a black muscle shirt and a pair of jeans. He had just gotten out of the shower because his hair was wet and Bella knew how his soap smelt.

He gave her a long hug, they hadn't seen each other very much at all since Sam started. He acted like he wanted to hold on a little longer, but she pulled away and asked the question she needed an honest answer to.

"Is anything different about me?"

Paul furrowed his brow as if he was scrutinizing her. He looked side to side and up and down her body, then he made a slow circle around her entirely inspecting every inch of her. She never dreamed he'd be that thorough, but she was amused at how he was taking her question so seriously. He stepped in closer and started the apparent sniff test. He pulled up her hair and put his nose right at her neck which made a tingle run down her spine.

"Still happens, doesn't it?" he asked with a wink, but she ignored his comment.

"Well, are you done? Answer the question."

"Not quite, let me finish." He dropped to his knees in front her and that was the moment when she decided it was time to put an end to his investigation. She felt somewhat inappropriate but he moved his face next to her belly and zeroed into the area she assumed was the spot. He stood up on his own without having to be told.

He stared at her and let her know what his findings were, "You're knocked up."

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "You can tell?"

"Yes, but more by the way you asked that question. I barely caught the hint of a new scent. It's extremely faint. I was looking for it and concentrating. I'm guessing you haven't told him yet."

"No, I wanted to know how long I might have."

"Maybe a few more days, but I don't know. I've never been around pregnant ladies. I can only assume this scent will get stronger with each passing day. You came to me first, so let me guess; it could be his, couldn't it? That's why you didn't tell Seth right away."

She hung her head. Paul knew all the in's and out's of her psyche. "What should I do? Will he be able to tell by the scent. Should I tell him the truth when I break the news of the pregnancy? I swear I'm not brave enough for that and now I have more to consider than myself. I'm seriously going to be someone's mother and I barely manage my own life. How is this possible?"

"Come here." Paul pulled her into his arms and held her. His embrace was so comforting. He knew the truth, but he still didn't give her a bunch of I told you so's. He just held her and was exactly what she needed. She was surprised she hadn't cried, for once. It did no good to cry, this was her life. "No, not as long as the child is inside of you, I don't think he'll know, but after it's born; that's a whole other story, hummingbird."

He asked about all her previous messages, "So what's all this I'm hearing about the Jennings twins? Didn't I tell you, we don't expect anymore to phase."

"Yes, you told me, Seth told me. And Jacob mentioned it before, but you need to see them. I'm sure it's worth at least a closer look."

"Are you telling me how to run my temporary pack that are a pain in my ass already and Jake hasn't even been gone an entire week?"

She put her hands on her hips and answered, "Maybe, I am. Whatcha going to do about it, Paulie?" It felt good to lighten the mood.

He swept her feet out from under her and took off with her across his small cabin. He lifted her over his bed before dropping her and starting to mercilessly tickle her. She begged for mercy, "Stop Paul or you'll make me wet your bed."

He quickly stopped thinking he might have been too rough, "Oh shit, hummingbird; I forgot. I didn't hurt you did I? It's going to take some time getting use to the fact you have a bun in the oven." He had stopped the tickling, but he was still next to her on his bed and he took the hand that had been attacking her rib cage, and let it rest just under her belly button. He lovingly rubbed the area in a circular pattern. She had calmed down from his assault but was feeling ramped up for a completely different reason. It was almost like he was worshiping the spot where her tiny baby was growing and she didn't want him to stop. She was enjoying the connection he felt to her child. He took it one step further when he laid his head directly over the spot.

"Can you hear it?"

"Not yet, he whispered. You're pulse is stronger, its covering it up probably."

Bella couldn't help herself. She let her hand make its way to his head and she massaged her fingers into his scalp. If anyone would have walked in on their intimate moment, they would have gotten the wrong idea, but this was how they were. There was no explanation for it, they just were how they were. Paul kept his head there for a few more minutes before turning his head and placing a kiss to her bare stomach. He'd slightly pulled the bottom of her shirt up when his head was there.

"It's going to be okay, little one. I'll help take care of you."

So much for not crying, tears started streaming down her cheeks when she realized it didn't matter to him, he was going to love her child regardless just because it was hers.

"Paul..."

"It's okay, hummingbird. You don't have to say anything. For a second, I was wondering."

"Wondering what?"

"What it would be like if it was mine?" he admitted to her.

She swallowed the huge lump in her throat. They had sat up on the edge of his bed and he was facing her. Tears kept falling down her cheeks, but he wiped them all away. He pulled her head down and kissed her forehead.

"You're going to be fine. I think you'll be a kickass mom and you should go ahead and tell Seth. He's going to be thrilled."

"Thanks, you're forever my best person. I agree, with the Seth part and you helped me decide, I'm telling him tonight."

Bella and Paul said their goodbyes after that and she hurried home to try and devise the perfect way to break it to her husband they were going to have a baby. She had made her decision. This baby was hers and Seth's, that was how it had to be. They were going to be happy and this child was going to cement their bond for all time.

Bella had it all planned out. She had made Chicken Cordon Bleu and parmesan, garlic mashed potatoes with a side of steamed green beans. She'd made him this meal once before and he raved it might be his favorite thing she'd ever cooked. Seth came in just as she was plating everything.

"Yes!" he exclaimed, "I smelled it as soon as I got out of the truck. This is a special treat, I can't believe you put this together after having an appointment today."

I told you the last time it's easier than it looks, Seth. I wanted us to have a nice dinner. I have a surprise for you."

"Oh, surprise, did you buy a new nightie?" he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"No, nothing like that, sorry...but you won't be disappointed. First, we eat. I'm starving." The two of them sat at the bar, she still hadn't found a table and Seth kept changing the subject whenever she brought up shopping for one.

Once they were done, she pulled him back to the bedroom where she had his present. She handed him the bag that she carefully had arranged the present inside and stuffed tissue paper over it. He eyed her curiously, "My birthday isn't for a couple of months. Is this an early gift?"

"No, it isn't a birthday gift, it's more like a lifetime gift."

"Huh? I've never heard of that, but if it's from you; I'm sure I'll love it."

Seth pulled the paper off and stuck his hand in the bag. He pulled it back out with all three sticks in his hand. Maybe it was gross, that she'd saved her pee sticks, but she felt weird about throwing them away. Of course, the following day after taking the first test, she'd taken the other ones just to be doubly sure. He looked at the objects, like he wasn't certain what the strange gift was at first, but he studied them individually. First, he had the one with two blue lines, then the next one had a plus symbol. Of course, there would be no doubts after seeing the digital one. It had the word in bold print: PREGNANT.

"Is this for real?"

"Of course, silly I wouldn't make a joke about this. I wouldn't even know how. Well...what do you think? Are you happy?"

Seth lifted her off the bed and sat her into his lap. He started kissing her all over her face before finally stopping at her lips to kiss her long and hard.

"I know it's soon and we hadn't planned on it. I'm not sure what I did wrong, but I screwed up my pills. I guess when I was sick at the beginning of the month."

"Who cares. It happened for a reason. Yes, I'm happy Bella. You have no idea how happy this makes me." He held her so close, it was borderline too tight, but she felt so relieved by his reaction, she didn't care. "You and I...we're going to have a baby," he said it out loud. She clung to him and her head rested on his shoulder.

"Yes, Seth. We are!" Those were her words, heavy on the 'we' but mentally she had her fingers crossed. It better be her and Seth. It had to be...for all their sakes.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_


	41. Chapter 41

_**Thanks a bunch for the great reviews. I'm amazed that I wrote something that has over 500 reviews now. It means so much that people are reading. I have to skip over time here and there, but I'll always let you know.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer is the sole owner of Twilight and all recognizable characters.**_

Chapter 39

_Two months later_

Bella was on her way for a much needed visit with Charlie. She had two bags of groceries and her latest ultrasound picture to share with him. She had just completed her 12th week according to her dates and she was starting to feel much better. Those first few weeks after finding out she was pregnant were difficult. Nausea and fatigue were her worst enemies, but at least, she didn't throw up too often. So many things were going on. She had to finish the last month of school and as that was going on; she started meeting with Eleanor. Seth made the understatement of the year when he told her it was a confusing language. It was, but finally she was catching on. She was much better at reading it than pronouncing it, but Grandfather helped her out immensely.

She loved the fact that such a cantankerous old man who acted like he hated her in the beginning had asked her to call him Grandfather. The two had become very close when she finally convinced him to go to the eye doctor and because she currently spent so much time with him. Bella held his hand every step of the way when it was revealed he did have cataracts in both eyes. He'd had the right one repaired and recovered swiftly. He would soon have the other one done, but with Quil's health up in the air, he'd postponed the left one.

Quil: every time, he crossed her mind, she was overcome with worry. Finally, there had been some improvements. There had been complications. Quil did not do well breaking his imprint. He had been comatose for almost 2 weeks after the process was over. He went soon after Sam. They thought it would be smooth sailing just like him, but it wasn't. Kelsee, even though, somewhat immortal for the time being was pushed to the limits. The pack helped out, as did Sue and her nurse friends. Bella visited often as well. He had looked so much better the last time she saw him. They had to use IV nutrition and hydration or he wouldn't have survived. Jacob, was initially summoned to come back and she heard he was all set to, but Kelsee stopped him. She said Quil was coming out of it finally. Bella hoped so, Seth was with him while she was going to visit with Charlie so she'd have a full report that evening.

Bella smiled when she remembered the day Quil showed up with the table in the back of a truck. She finally knew why they never got a real table. Quil had been constructing one that fit perfectly in the dining area right off the kitchen. It was amazing, he and Seth had made it and even though it would accommodate a lot of seats, it still didn't overpower the space. He installed bench seating against the wall and the table fit next to it. She could easily host pack dinners then. They also added two long picnic tables outside. It didn't take long for the whole pack to find out. Quil brought in tons of food the next day and the men soon followed. She'd promised one meal and one haircut, but that turned into 3 haircuts and feeding the entire pack including Kim. Of course, Jacob remained gone and it never stopped causing her some distress. The possibilities, probabilities always were present in her mind. She tried to do as Quil had told her and gave them all a little motherly love. They definitely needed it, especially Sam. He was older than her, but when he came over fresh from his broken imprint and on the heels of the tragic news, she threw her arms around him and promised whatever he needed, she and Seth were there for him.

The day she found out Sam left Kelsee's was also the day Seth came in with the news, Sue had just called. Emily's parents found her overdosed on pills, with 3 fresh, jagged scars down the other side of her face to match the ones he'd accidentally given her all those years ago. It was true there was no love lost with any of them and Emily, she had been terrible and manipulative. Sam still had been married to her for years, and he was now somewhat depressed. He hadn't regretted his decision, but he still never wanted her dead. Bella planted one seed in Leah's mind after he left that evening.

"Maybe you are the one that can help him heal."

"Back off, Swan," she still called her that. "You are the last one to dish out relationship advice. I can't go back."

"Okay, then go forward. You two had a connection once. I've seen the looks, it's still there. Of course, it isn't the same, but maybe one day it will be better."

Bella realized just how deep this curse ran. It was all consuming for those directly affected by it. Claire's parents went into a panic after Emily and had their daughter under a doctor's care the next day, but Bella heard through Sue she was adjusting well.

She pulled up at her Dad's, he was outside, finishing up some yard work.

"Hey kiddo, I was on my in for a shower. I won't be long."

"That's fine, Dad, I'll get started with dinner."

Bella decided to make Philly cheese steaks and her famous dip. The smells reminded her of one of their Sunday afternoon football parties. She thought he would enjoy that.

"Mmm, Bells...I had no idea this is what you meant when asked about coming over and sharing a sandwich. It looks delicious," he walked up to her and gave her a hug.

"You're welcome, Dad. I miss cooking for you. You know, you can come over more often."

"No, you and Seth are newlyweds, I wouldn't want to intrude."

Bella thought it would be impossible for Charlie to intrude, but she appreciated how thoughtful he was. He had not been able to hide his excitement about becoming a grandfather. She had no idea it was a secret wish of his.

"So, how the little one doing?"

"Great, growing perfectly, wiggling around although, I can't feel it yet. That's got to be weird. I don't what I'll do, the first time I feel it."

"Well, where's the picture?"

"Right here," she pulled out the black and white grainy photo. It was a lot easier to tell it was a baby this month. Last month, she and Seth only saw a bean, as he liked to call it.

"That's great, Bells. I can't believe that's my grandchild. Are you and Seth still being stubborn about the gender?"

"It's too soon for that, Dad and yes, we want to be surprised."

"Does anybody do that anymore?"

"I don't know, but we are?"

The two of them talked about what was going on a little. Charlie asked about Quil. He knew Quil had been sick and Sue was seeing to him, but he again did not understand why he wasn't in a hospital. "I cannot believe how superstitious some of the tribe are about doctors. I've been around them since I was a boy, but I've only witnessed this extreme behavior for the past few years."

Bella often wondered if there was a way to tell her father the truth. She'd mentioned it to Seth. He didn't think the council would ever approve, especially since both Charlie and Sue both insisted they would never get married. That was not the nature of their relationship according to them. He thought Bella's connection to the tribe would not be enough to persuade them.

Charlie picked up their plates and carried them over to the sink. He walked around the kitchen in a circle. He was rubbing his mustache, and avoiding her gaze all of the sudden, so she asked the obvious question.

"Dad, is something else on your mind?"

He exhaled loudly, "Bells, I have something to show you. My first instinct was to throw it in the trash, but that wouldn't be right. We're all trying to be more open and honest."

"Dad, what is it? You're worrying me all of the sudden."

"I'm sorry, Bella. It's nothing terrible, but I'm not sure if it's good for you."

"What? Just tell me."

"You got a letter."

"Oh," she relaxed. "Okay, I still get mail here every once in awhile."

"Well, it's not junk mail. Bella, a letter came yesterday. It's from Jacob."

Did she hear that right? Jacob sent her a letter to Charlie's. Where else would he send a letter? Not to Seth's, of course; but why send one at all? Wasn't that fateful day their goodbye? Her hands went down to her barely there baby bump.

She finally said something, "So where is the letter?"

"I left it in your room upstairs. You can go up there and read it if you want and I'll clean the dishes."

"Okay, thanks," she started towards the stairs, but he stopped her.

"Bella, you seem to be doing so much better and now there's a baby on the way. Please, don't let this cause you any distress. If you think it will, do what I was tempted to do and throw it away."

"Dad, I'll be fine. It's a letter, okay. There's nothing he can say that will alter my decisions, but thanks for worrying about me. I know you mean well."

She made it to her old room which was exactly the same as she'd left it. She saw the envelope on the pillow. There was her name and Charlie's address, but there was no return address. She picked up the letter and carefully tore one end. It never crossed her mind to throw it away, but she understood why Charlie would want her to do that.

_Hey, Bells_

_I wasn't sure if I should send this, but I still had a few things to get off my chest. Let me start off by first saying. I miss you, I always will, I guess. When I first got here, I thought I'd made a huge mistake. It seemed like the only reason I was here was to work my ass off for free. Eventually, Beau (that's Kelsee's old friend) started talking to me, teaching me some things. He's a trip; old as dirt, like Kelsee, but still very strong and energetic. We work along side each other day after day and in the evenings, he acts as an adviser; my spiritual adviser. I hadn't realized how much resentment I harbored deep inside. It went way beyond the imprint and all the way back to losing my Mom. Of course, I've also never quite been accepting of the wolf or having to be the leader of our pack either. Then, of course, you came along: the best thing that had ever happened to me, but the one thing I cannot have. So, yeah; there was a lot of rage and anger consuming me. I've learned a lot, you'd be amazed. My temper is so much better. I'm learning that I can be aggressive and dominant when it's required, but still keep in control. I can be passionate without being impulsive. I swear I'm going to be a better alpha and man. I'm going to fix everything that was broken with my pack. I'm even committed to repairing my relationship with Seth. If he is your choice, then I will honor that. That being said, I still love you, Bells. No matter what I learn about myself, or how much I change for the better; I don't think there's anyway, I'll ever stop. I'm not telling you that to make things difficult for you, but know that I'm always there for you. If you need anything or if anyone hurts you, I want to know. You can tell me anything. I purposely didn't leave a return address. I didn't want you to feel obligated to respond. You don't have to say anything back. I know what we said to one another that Saturday afternoon and that's all I need now, I suppose. Kelsee and Paul both know how to get in touch with me if you truly need me for any reason. It may seem like I've abandoned everyone, but that is far from the truth. I'm doing this for all of you, not just for myself. I know about Emily, and it was horrible but something was deeply wrong with that woman for a long time. I swear I was minutes away from coming back for Quil, but Kelsee sent word he's waking up. If he isn't fully awake within the next few days, I'll return immediately. I seriously have considered staying 6 months like Beau wants me to, but given the fact that Paul is becoming more and more concerned about Joseph's grandsons, I probably won't be gone that long. I had hoped you were wrong, but it looks like maybe you are becoming pretty perceptive, especially about the pack. I hear you are involved with the council, which freaked me out when Dad told me that. Curious about what's going on there. I guess that's about it. You know I could keep going on and on telling you stuff, you were always so easy for me to talk to, but that's not what I set out to do with this letter. I want you to know, it's all going to be okay when I return. If you're happy and safe, I'll survive. I know you still worry and I doubt you've let go of your guilt, but you should. I don't want you to have one more minute of sadness over any of this. Take care, Bells and enjoy your summer vacation. _

_Love, Jake_

The tears fell against the white notebook paper like raindrops. Jacob had reached out and said all the right things. The letter brought her some comfort, she was proud of him, but she also missed him terribly. How could she still feel this strongly? She and Seth had become a stronger couple. She was content with him and she still hoped more than anything she was having his child. He didn't deserve the alternative, but then there were Jacob's words in print "you can tell me anything". He acted like he'd be home soon. She was relieved that no one had let her pregnancy slip. She wanted to tell him. It was something she had to do. As soon as he knew how far along she was, he'd make the obvious assumption and she'd have to deal with that soon enough. She probably was the most settled she'd ever felt, but for some reason that didn't exactly bring her all the satisfaction that she hoped it would.

"Um, Bells..." Charlie called from outside the door.

She wiped her face and closed the letter. "Yes, Dad, I'll be right out."

"I didn't mean to be nosy, but Seth's trying to reach you. I saw your phone lighting up and vibrating on the counter."

She looked down at the letter in her hands and decided to save it in her old dresser. She opened up the small drawer to see some of her things still sitting inside, as was the toothbrush he'd used. She touched the very end of it remembering the day he'd spent the night with her. She put the letter on top of everything in the drawer and closed it up. She double checked her face once more and went back downstairs to find out what Seth needed.

* * *

"Hey you, you look great! We've been so worried. How do you feel?" Bella asked Quil. She couldn't believe when Seth had told her to rush over to Kelsee's because Quil was up.

"Hi Bella, how's the baby?" Quil was very excited, like all the pack, that she was carrying a pup as they so lovingly called her child.

"Growing, getting big, making my pants feel tight."

"Good, how long has it been since I brought the table?"

"It's been almost 5 weeks, Quil." If he remembered the table and the baby, that had to be good. Sue had warned them sometimes coma patients had some memory loss.

"Damn, I was out of it for a long time, but at least I'm free and Seth told me Claire's fine. I'm happy for her. She's going to be so much better off. We both are."

Bella rubbed her hand across the sprouts of hair that were coming back in. "This is going to look good. I can't believe how fast your hair grows," she remarked.

"Hope so, now I've got to look my best for the ladies. Quil is back on the market," he reclined back on the cot with his hands locked behind his velvet covered head.

They all laughed at his announcement.

"He's healed for sure now," was Seth's response.

They had fun catching Quil up and seeing how strong and healthy he seemed. He was getting better every minute that he'd been awake.

"Grandfather?"

"Fine, but he's been worried sick about you."

"I'm sure his new granddaughter saw to all his needs," he winked at her.

"I helped, but it wasn't the same. He missed you terribly. Who went to tell him?"

Seth answered, "Paul."

"Oh, when can Quil go home, Kelsee?"

"Tomorrow is my best guess. I have some herbal concoctions I want to give him tonight and if he eats a good breakfast and is strong enough to walk on his own and phase into the wolf, I'll consider him completely healed."

"I want to try tonight, "Quil added.

"No, tomorrow," she firmly stated.

"Yes, ma'am." No one argued with Kelsee. "I guess you're right, even though I've been out for weeks, I still feel so sleepy."

"That's what your body needs. All these visitors should go and let you rest."

The pack members that were there said their good byes and left soon after or Kelsee was going to kick them all out. Bella was about to leave with Seth when Kelsee pulled her aside.

"Now that this is all over, you and I need to start meeting. We have much to discuss." She waved her hand over Bella's abdomen.

"Okay, when should I come back?"

"Three days. I need some rest, but come back in three days."

Seth reminded Bella that they next four days he'd be on the night shift. He wasn't crazy about her staying alone all night. She offered to go to Charlie's, but then that felt weird, going back to sleep in her old room after being married.

"Seth, I'm fine. You know that I'm always protected on the reservation."

"Yes, but what if you get queasy or dizzy and fall."

"When have I ever fallen? Well...fallen related to pregnancy? Try never."

"I've seen you wobble when you get up too fast," he reminded.

She laughed, he was naturally protective. They all were. No one would let her lift a thing. The guys welcomed her to cook for them, but she wasn't even allowed to get casserole dishes out of the oven. Someone always helped out.

"Okay, Paul can stay over."

Growls involuntarily came out of Seth's mouth.

"How about my sister?"

"We're better, but I'm not so sure about that."

"You could go to Kim and Jared's."

"Yeah, but I still get the feeling, I make her a little sad."

"Bella, Kim's happy for you."

"Yes, but she hasn't had success getting pregnant and I know she's worried. Look at me, I wasn't even trying. In fact, I was preventing it and it still happened. I feel bad."

"You shouldn't feel bad. It'll happen for them when the time is right."

"So, is it okay if Paul comes here?"

"If that's what you want, but he isn't getting in my damn bed, not once. I better not smell his scent on my pillow."

"Seth, I wouldn't ask him to stay in our bed."

"I know that, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't sneak in when you were asleep."

Bella knew Seth didn't have traditional jealousy for Paul but she couldn't really blame him for being irritated. It was hard for the two of them to hide their connection to one another. He'd been mistaken for her boyfriend on many occasions when they were out together by people that didn't know them.

* * *

"How do you eat that shit?" he asked her why they were watching movies in the living room.

"They're good," She sucked in the sour coated gummy worm between her lips.

His next response was, "Don't do that again, please." He shifted his body uncomfortably beside her.

"Stop squirming, you're going to make me spill my water and do what? You know I'm craving sour all the time. Try one, they're so good."

"No, thanks. Those are fucking nasty and I doubt they have any nutritional value for the kid."

"You know I eat healthy all day long. This is my one vice and I don't eat them very often."

"It's fine, whatever you say hummingbird." He patted her tummy.

She was pretty adamant that she didn't want a bunch of people coming by her touching her stomach. Why did being pregnant make people think they had an open invitation to do that? The creepy science teacher at school had tried it when he overheard the teacher's talking about her tiny bump in the lounge. She didn't want them to think she was a psycho, but she did slap his hand away. Of course, she made the mistake of telling Seth the story and he was all set to go up there the next day and rearrange the guy's face. She'd made the excuse Mr. Perry was just eccentric and he couldn't do such a thing or she'd be utterly humiliated. Hopefully, he'd gotten the picture.

Some of the guys in the pack stared at it like they expected something to happen any second, but none of them asked to touch it. Seth told her it was easy to smell now and it smelled similar to her, but a little extra something that was the perfect amount of sweetness. It was comforting to all of them and he could hear the thrumming of the tiny heartbeat when he put his ear over her belly.

Paul was a different story. Bella knew he needed the contact. She let him touch her and listen, but only when they were alone. He was watching the movie, but he muted the TV after awhile.

"May I?"

"Sure," she answered. She lifted her tee and he rubbed the skin of her abdomen. "It's grown a lot since the last time."

"I know. I can't wear anything but stretchy pants or shorts, but it's still too small for maternity clothes."

"It's warmer than the rest of you."

"That's what Seth says."

He didn't even ask, he leaned down, so he could have a listen. "So fast, so strong. I could fall asleep listening to it, it's soothing."

"Well, don't fall asleep, I won't be able to get up."

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah, kinda. I should go pee and brush my teeth in case I fall asleep."

"You can go to bed if you want. We can finish this movie tomorrow night."

"Okay, I'll be right back." She came back to the couch with an extra pillow. "You don't even want a sheet to cover up with?"

"Naw, just the pillow's fine. Hey, I had something to tell you. Can you stay up a little longer?"

"Sure," she sat back with him.

"Have you heard about Jessica?"

"No, I try and steer clear of her. I've seen her driving around a couple of times. Why?"

"She's gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"Like, adios goodbye forever; she left Forks."

"What about Mike?"

"He's still here. I talked to him last night. He has the children."

"She left her children! Why? What else aren't you telling me?"

"Mike found out she was boning some city councilman and he gave her the heave ho. He threatened to go to the police with some info about your kidnapping if she didn't go without a peep."

"Does he have information?"

"Nope, he was bluffing, but she fell for it."

"Yeah, but as much as I despise her. She's losing her children. I...I don't know how I feel about that."

"Hold onto that sympathy, little Momma. Mike told me the real story. She enjoyed parading them around town to show off what a dedicated mother she was, but he said the truth was he usually came home to find some clueless, teenage babysitter there and Jessica was nowhere to be found. She didn't take care of the house or the kids worth a shit. Mike's not a bad guy. He and I have gotten to know each other better and he stopped drinking. He's a good Dad, and those kids are going to be much better off without her."

"How'd Mike find out about the affair?"

He smirked as soon as the question was out.

"No!"

"Yeah, it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted her to go to jail, but I couldn't find proof. I had to settle for dismantling her life another way. She made it almost too easy being a little whore. Two down and one to go."

"Paul...I don't celebrate what happened to Emily."

"I'm not celebrating it, but she was a crazy bitch. If that was what had to happen, so be it. I have no proof who else was with them. It was probably some trashy friend of Nadia's from out of town, but Nadia will not go scott free after what she did."

"Isn't it enough, she's banned from the reservation, or that she lost Jacob for good?"

"No, I'm working on a plan. Trust me, it'll work. She'll fuck up soon enough and when she does, she will end up in jail eventually."

"Well, I would feel better if she was off the streets. I've had a few nightmares that she knew about my baby. That is one of the worst possible scenarios I can imagine. Hopefully, she's forgotten about all of us."

"Hey," he brushed his hand across her cheek. "No one will ever be a threat to your baby. I won't let them. Not only that, this whole pack is so wound up about this pup, the two of you have better protection than the President of the United States. I promise you that."

"Thanks, but what..." she didn't finish her thought, because he knew where she was going with her question.

"It doesn't matter, Bella. It's a pack baby either way. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. You aren't worrying about it are you? Stress isn't good for you."

"I try not to, but he sent me a letter. You know he's coming back soon?"

"Yes, he has to; those twins are going to phase soon."

She shrugged her shoulders.

"I know lil miss I told you so. Both the elders and wolf pack were wrong, and you were right. The part that gets me is I don't know why. They couldn't have been more than 8 years old when the Cullen's lived here. You need to use your influence on your precious grandfather in case he's withholding some info."

"He's not, but I'm going to ask again if y'all can talk to Jordan and Trevor. They'll be in high school in less than 2 months. Even Joseph doesn't want to. They are becoming a lot more open with me, but they don't want to budge with the secrecy thing."

"Come on, I'll get you to bed. Let me and Jake worry about it."

"I'm fine, Paul I can get myself to bed and Seth told you..."

"Yeah, I know he gave me the speech, but I can tuck you in, it's no big deal."

They went inside her room. Paul never came back there normally. He looked around and crinkled his nose.

"Will you stop that. It's my room with my husband. What do you expect?"

"Yeah, yeah, get in bed so I can get out of here."

Bella climbed on the left side where she slept. He pulled the covers up to her neck and kissed her forehead, "Night, sleep well."

"Night Paul. Thanks for staying with me. I wasn't ready for a sleepover with Leah."

"God, who would be? Anytime." He reached towards the lamp, but hesitated like he was trying to decided something.

"What are you doing?"

About that time, she saw him make the flying leap across her and right into Seth's spot. He rolled and scooted his back all over the bed. He looked exactly like a dog covering his scent onto something.

"Stop it!" she cried out.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist." He sat up laughing, looking so proud of himself. He leaned over her body and reached for the light to click it off. He threw is arm over her. "Now that the damage is done, can I just go ahead and stay in here with you, hummingbird?"

"No, out...get out Paul. You promised."

"I never promised, and I only agreed to stay on the couch."

"Agreed, promised; what's the difference. Now you've gone and rubbed yourself all over the bed." She protested a few minutes more, but finally he wore her down. "Fine but you better be gone as soon as I fall asleep."

Bella woke up with light flooding through the window. A very warm arm still thrown over her. She panicked for a second until she saw it was her sleeping husband lying next to her. He must have come in at 6 something. Paul had to have been gone or there would have been a disturbance. He was so insolent, but she ended up liking the fact that it was so much easier to fall asleep with him next to her.

* * *

"Isabella, so glad you're here. We have many things to discuss," Kelsee welcomed her inside.

"I know I've been on edge, and we've never had the chance to be alone. Is this it? Will the curse be broken? Have you seen any new visions? I want to break the curse, but I'm selfish. I don't want to think about losing you just yet."

"I don't know dear, could be...could be not."

"But ...you think my child is the key. That was why you returned. Isn't that what you told me?" Kelsee was still so mysterious at times.

"True, I did reveal that to you, but I never said which one...you'll have many children, Isabella."

_**~Thanks for reading. I know I've got some Jacob lovers out there, and I promise he will be back in the next update. I have tons of surprises planned, so don't get too comfortable thinking you have it all figured out just yet.**_


	42. Chapter 42

_**This is a biggie. I seriously thought about cutting it into two parts, but I decided to go with the whole thing.**_

Chapter 40

_One month later_

Bella used her key to gain access to the council hall. Her status as an outsider a few short months ago had completely changed. She had been spending way too many hours with Eleanor lately, but she wanted to get a few things taken care of so that she could enjoy her last month of summer. Joseph was picking up Grandfather and then the rest of the council, as well as the pack, were joining them in an hour. Bella was also having the pack over for dinner afterwards. That was now a common occurrence.

She was trying to get her papers in order. She knew she couldn't ask all the questions she had today, so she was going to try and get some answers to the most important one. Kelsee had her over at least once a week. She had been very confused after some of those meetings. She still didn't believe the theory that she would have lots of children. She'd even gone home to Seth that night and asked how many kids he wanted.

"I don't know: two, three if you're feeling generous," was his response.

She tried to tell Kelsee she must be mistaken, but as usual Kelsee was sort of vague. She was always so cautious about interfering with the natural order of the universe or something. Bella informed her unless she meant two was many, that she must be misinterpreting a vision.

Kelsee chuckled at her, "Isabella, when has two ever meant many to you? Stop fretting and concentrate on the child you carry now. That is all that is important this moment."

Bella had the papers sorted correctly. It had taken her awhile to locate the story and part of it was missing. Kelsee told her last week that it was time she read more about the second wife. She didn't think there was anything written about her. Billy shared the story of the third wife with her, and that was an inspiring tale especially the way he told it, but as far as she knew there weren't any other detailed stories about the other wives of Taha Aki. It wasn't til that very morning working on the transcriptions that Eleanor pulled it up. They'd worked together for hours trying to decipher it all. It was in very poor shape and very faded, so some of the translation was only a guess.

Grandfather came in soon after she got it all in order for him. He was still wearing his eye patch and his protective sunglasses. He'd only had the second eye surgery a few days before, which meant she was going to have to do all the reading. Her poor pronunciation might keep her from learning too much that afternoon, but her curiosity was certainly peaked about the second wife. From what she had studied with Eleanor, she was a bit of an outcast even though she was a confirmed imprint of Taha Aki. He was different than all the other wolves, since it was believed by the tribe that he was the original spirit wolf. There was so much mystery revolving around him. He was the only one that had more than one imprint because he apparently never chose to quit phasing. Bella wasn't sure what it all meant. She bet he eventually did stop, but some people thought he chose to dwell in a secret place, hidden away for all time. Who knew the truth? It was a far-fetched story, but then again; she had watched her very own husband shift into a wolf. The magic in their blood was real, there was no doubt to that.

"How you feeling?"

"Well, granddaughter...ready to see perfectly again."

He'd been so certain of that fact and his eye doctor did admit, he had remarkable vision for a man his age.

Joseph shook his head, "Let's see if he can drive again. Maybe he's just terrible and I've been thinking it was his eyes all along."

Old Quil gave him a dirty look.

"How are the boys?" she asked Joseph.

"Moody, I'm worried," he admitted. "But no fevers, so there's still some time."

"What about letting Paul talk to them?"

"No," they both answered in unison.

"Please, I know you were unsure in the beginning but everyone knows now. It's going to happen."

Old Quil answered again, "Then let it happen as it did with all the others. It worked out fine in the end." He quickly changed the subject. "Didn't you have something else to talk about today?"

"Yes, I want to know about the second wife."

"Let me guess who sent you to hunt that story out?"

"Grandfather."

"I know, she's your friend. She helped Quil. He told me to drop my prejudices, but you know as well as I what she is."

"Not everything unexplainable or extraordinary is evil. The pack is not."

"No, of course not."

"See...don't you think you might be judging her wrongly?"

"Hmmph..." he took his seat with his arms folded against his chest. He hated to admit he was wrong, so she wasn't going to try and force an apology from his lips. The others would arrive soon. She took what she'd written down to Joseph. The two of them both took out their reading glasses.

"Right there, it's proof she was a wife, an imprint; but who were the other two men mentioned? Where they brothers or family?"

"Sharo and Menewo were warriors trained by Taha Aki, himself. They were not her brothers. They were his brothers in spirit, so the legends say."

"Oh...so you mean they were shifters, but I thought only his children did and that's how the gene was passed down."

"It's a common misconception."

"Yeah, there are a lot of misconceptions around here," she added.

"What do you mean?"

"Grandfather, Quil told me that the other night, you said your mother was nuts."

"I never used that word, the boy exaggerates."

"Maybe he does, but was something off about her or not?"

"Are you asking me to speak ill of my deceased mother?"

"I'm asking for the truth. She was an imprint, and you've seen firsthand how crazy these women were recently. Was she similar? It's a yes or no question."

"Yes, she was not well," he finally admitted.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you never go into detail with the pack about what you'd already experienced as a child? You saw how they were struggling with the imprints."

"Because, dear in my day; families did what they needed to do to protect one another. That's what's wrong with this younger generation, they have no loyalty. Besides, Billy Black knew her, Sarah was her granddaughter. She passed soon after they were married. He felt same as I, no need to speak ill of the dead."

Kelsee's knowledge that Ephraim's pack also had screwed up imprints was accurate, but Bella didn't feel like arguing anymore with him. She wanted to get back to the story of the second wife.

"The second wife, her name was Walela, (wah-LEY-lah). She had the majority of Taha Aki's children, as well. Another little known fact." Quil went on to tell her.

Bella's curiosity grew with each tidbit of information.

"I know I'm still learning, so maybe I read it wrong, but now that I finally see this part. Does it say she also have a child with Sharo?" She'd missed that up until then.

"Yes," Joseph flipped back through some pages. "And Menewo."

"What? Him too? I'm confused. She knew them before Taha Aki, perhaps when he was married to his first wife?"

"No, that was before she was born. All her children were born near the same time."

The noise at the door let Bella know that their time was up. Billy was pushed in by Embry soon after and the rest of the council was seated around the long table. Bella moved out to a seat next to Seth. They had another meeting similar to this the previous week. It was a sort of question and answer session, a way of opening up the lines of communication that had been previously closed. It had gone well. Bella had a long talk with the guys and Leah about being respectful and asking some simple questions first. Old Quil had been pleased with all of them. He decided he or Billy would recite some of the legends at each meeting, and they'd mostly be hearing stories no one from their generation had ever heard.

Bella saw Old Quil and Joseph whispering to Billy as the pack took their seats. He was shaking his head up and down. She noticed he looked out into the small group directly at her. She smiled, but he kept staring, so she waved. He nodded and then got started. Billy went over a few details about things going on in and around the tribe. Not everything they discussed was supernatural in nature. He talked about the women's group that met on Tuesdays and an outreach program for the elderly. It was probably similar things heard at any small town meeting.

Billy's next message was about his son. "For all of those wondering; my son, is on the way home, as we speak."

Damn her stupid fluttering heart. They'd all hear it, but she couldn't help having palpitations as soon as Billy announced it. Paul stuck his finger in her thigh and she covertly slapped at him. Her next move was to glance at Seth who was already watching her and Paul out of the corner of his eye. His jaw was clenched, but she slid her hand across his lap and grabbed hold of hand and he relaxed. These meetings were important for all of them, but she suddenly wished it would end before it had even got started.

Billy talked a little more. "It seems our pack will grow once more. We are all on edge as to what the reason might be. Have there been any threats that you can find, Paul?"

"No sir, chief. We've found nothing out of the ordinary, and we've even run extra patrols further distances. We're stumped just like all of you, but I highly doubt Jordan and Trevor will make it before school. It's actually better if it happens near home. Jacob and I discussed provoking them soon after he returns."

Joseph looked like he disapproved. "What do you mean, provoke?"

"I don't know, but I've got some experience with it. Trust me, it'll be contained, no harm will come to them."

Billy spoke again, "We can meet again when Jacob gets here. Tonight, I would like to share a new story brought to my attention by Bella. She has an interest in hearing the story as a whole, but I'm afraid the end is missing. It was lost or damaged somewhere along the way."

He went on to give a brief overview of Taha Aki, one that they probably already knew, but then he quickly moved onto what had occurred at a certain point in time when he was married to the second wife. "The tribe was in danger because of a cold one that had escaped Taha Aki. He was coming back at some point in time with a small army of cold ones as far Taha Aki could decipher from a vision he was given. The survival of the tribe depended on larger numbers, strong warriors, but he had only one son from his first wife and two brothers that he had trained."

"The same vision led him to a young maiden, Walela. She had just come of age, and her father had promised her to a brave named, Ahiga but as soon as Taha Aki laid eyes on her, he imprinted again. She belonged to him and no way would he ever allow the union with Ahiga. She became his wife instead, the next evening. He introduced his new wife to the tribe after a week of staying in closed quarters. He was completely caught off guard when both his brothers Sharo and Menewo also became entranced with her. It had never happened before, but the spirit guide and the healer both came to the conclusion that she was indeed imprinted to them all, even if Taha Aki was her primary imprint. Taha Aki wouldn't accept that. He was enraged and consumed with jealousy. He threatened to fight them to the death for looking at her, but his wife reminded him of the threat he'd seen. He needed them and she admitted not being able to bear that sort of tragedy. She confessed that she loved them, as well. She was already with child, so he refrained from acting on his natural instincts. However, he did keep her hidden away the entire time the child grew inside her."

"I think that's a good place to stop, we can continue with this story next time." Billy sat the pages down in front of him. "This is one that has rarely been shared. The rest is very sketchy. There are obvious gaps and not as much detail as the third wife legend."

"What? Are you kidding, Chief? Tell us the rest," Paul said rather rudely.

"Paul, I thought we decided to have a question and answer time. I don't want to keep you all in here for hours. I know you all have plans at Seth and Bella's."

"That can wait. As you can see, they're right here. If it's question and answer time, then answer the question: what the hell else happened?"

"Paul," Bella kicked at his foot. "You promised, don't be disrespectful."

She looked around to find most of the pack at the edge of their seats. She decided to ask some of the questions which would hopefully get Billy going again with the story.

"Chief Black. I helped with this translation. The enemy came before most of the children were older, but the threat was contained and there was no mention of Walela at the time. What happened to her? How many children did she have? The number ten was on one of the page. Did she have that many?"

"She had ten sons in a decade," was Billy's answer.

Bella mentally calculated that in her head. Poor woman was constantly pregnant.

"No girls?" Leah asked the next question.

"No, she had two girls mixed in there. There were some twins, not sure whose. Billy flipped through some other pages. "Her four oldest were involved in the conflict along with their fathers."

"But what about the second wife?" That was Bella had really gotten lost in the story.

"She was already deceased, dear."

"Oh, that's sad," Bella hated hearing that truth.

Billy, looked around at his audience. He was a natural born storyteller. Bella imagined he could tell any old boring tale and still hold their attention, but this one had them captivated. "Well...since you all still appear so curious, I'll tell you what else I know. Both Sharo and Menewo were killed by cold ones. They gave up too easily because of how much they missed her. The three warriors and the children were all still in mourning. Walela was never accepted by the rest of the tribe. She only had her children and her imprints. I hate to admit what seems to happen but the word Eleanor helped Bella translate was plunged or fallen. It's believed she fell to her death, from one of the high cliffs. We can only speculate if it was an accident or on purpose."

"No, she wouldn't leave her children that way." Bella insisted, like she knew the mind of that woman so many centuries before her existence. She looked around the room after her declaration and all eyes were on her. "Would she?" She suddenly regretted asking for more information. Almost everybody died. This was a terrible story. She only thought the third wife story was sad, this was heartbreaking. Maybe Billy was wrong about the missing pages.

Bella was deep in thought about the story, and the room was especially quiet. Was no one else going to ask a question? She looked around again and for some reason they were all still giving her strange looks again.

"Seth," she whispered. He was speechless like everyone else. "Um, well I guess that's it for tonight. Thanks so much to all the council for spending this time with the pack," she started to stand up as she spoke. She wasn't their official spokesperson, but for once none of them were talking. She checked the time on the wall and it was after 6:30, so she and Seth should be getting home to get dinner on. He was cooking most of it on the grill. She was the only one that had made a move. She was about ready to asked what their deal was, when the moment she'd been waiting for happened. She felt the slightest flutter from within and she put her hand over her stomach.

Seth noticed, "What? Are you alright?" He asked her. Finally someone was talking again.

"Yes," she took his hand and placed it with her hand, but the child was again still. "It was the baby. I felt it move," she smiled at him.

"Hey everyone, Bella felt the baby," Seth announced like a proud Dad.

"That's great, the little one is happy to hear the history also," was Billy's reply.

She couldn't believe after all those nights lying still hoping to feel something, but never did; that it had happened at the meeting. She was very excited. She welcomed the joyous moment. At least, it made up for that incredibly depressing story they'd all listened to.

Bella went to thank the council members all personally for having them again. They were just as appreciative for how hard she'd worked on the archives. No one that had previously worked with Eleanor had come so far and in such a short amount of time. She had decided by winter she'd be ready to start giving lessons for anyone in the tribe that wanted to study the language. She had already volunteered every member of the pack. They would be her first test subjects. However, the baby was due late January so she would have to start out slow, she assumed. Kate had said babies take up a lot of time. She and Seth decided together she would only teach at Forks half the year. She ended up taking the aide job again rather than asking for her own class if she wasn't going to work all year. The principal assured her she'd have a position for the following school year. By then the baby would over 7 months old, so she felt like it would all work out fine. She and Seth had plenty of offers for babysitting already.

Seth came up behind her while she was talking to Billy.

"Hey, I'm going to head home and get the meat on the grill. You about ready?"

"Yeah, give me a few minutes. It's all in the fridge in the marinade. I did everything ahead of time."

Seth shook Billy's hand and kissed his wife goodbye and then left her to finish her talk with Billy. She still felt like she was getting weird looks from everyone. Maybe they were all questioning her choice in stories.

"So..." she said. "Um, that was kind of a mess of a story. I didn't realize it was going to be like that."

"There's a lot missing. Not sure what happened in those middle years when the children were growing up. It seemed like a few sons phased at an early age, so these boys were not the first generation to phase young. When the threat is near, the gene kicks in early, apparently."

"Like the twins, still 13 for another month." Like everyone else, the unknown threat concerned her.

"Yes, Seth, Collin, and Brady were all young, as well. Bella, I'm proud of you. You are doing great work with the pack and for the tribe. You happen to remind me of someone very special to me. Do you know who I'm talking about?"

She didn't want to sound presumptuous, so she asked, "Who?"

"You remind me of Jacob's, mother; my Sarah and she would be so proud to know you are continuing the work she'd started before she was taken from us."

"Thank you so much, Billy. I don't remember her very well, other than she was very kind. I'm honored by your compliment."

"She adored you, you know? She thought you were a precious child, but she worried about you some. The twins bullied you occasionally, because they were older and you never said anything. You were always so quiet, but Jacob took care of you every time he thought you needed rescuing." They both looked towards the floor at the mention of his name. Bella thought it was time to make her exit. She was having a hard time listening to his praises. He had told her a few days before how special it was that she and Seth were having the first pack baby and what a lucky man Charlie was. He wasn't sure if he'd live to see the day one of his kids gave him grandchildren. Rebecca and her husband loved the freedom of their lifestyle and Rachel was very career oriented. He didn't have to tell her about Jacob, she already knew that part. What if she was having his grandchild? It was so weird, she wished she could do that for him. She pictured young children circled around Billy while he told one of his stories. He knew plenty of happy and funny ones. They weren't all like the one he'd just recited. She shook those thoughts away, she couldn't do that as much as she loved him. She wasn't meant to give Billy grandchildren. She had married Seth and this was his baby; it had to be.

Bella finally made her escape from the council hall. She was about to climb inside when he propped his hand against the door.

"Hey, did you want a ride or something?"

"Yeah, I didn't drive here and that'll give us a chance to talk alone."

"About what?"

"About what? What else? I want to talk about that damn story we all just heard."

"Oh yeah. Well...it was pretty sad. I don't think I want to talk about it again."

Paul actually softly knocked on her forehead, "Hello, is anybody home? Are you really that dense, Ms. College degree?"

"Stop it," she pushed his hand away. "What?"

He took her hands and pushed them down so he could hold them at her side. He had her backed against the Tahoe and he was staring into her eyes.

"Bella, are you seriously going to stand there and tell me that didn't sound a little too familiar?"

"You mean?" she was having a hard time saying it aloud.

"Yes, I mean three warriors, one woman."

"Oh, well...it's not. I mean, I'm not. That's just coincidental."

"I don't think it is." he argued.

"Paul, I'm nothing like her. I'm not Quileute, and I'm not even one man's imprint and I most certainly am not capable of having 10 to 12 children."

"That fucking story wasn't about imprinting. If that's what you got from it, you weren't listening."

"Yes, I was. Then what was it about?"

"It was about love...Maybe doing something extraordinary to fulfill a destiny in order to protect the tribe."

"Okay, so you think this parallels our lives or something? History repeating itself? Are you sure you even believe that sort of thing? I'm not sure what you want me to say, but I don't think it has any bearing on the present."

"I have to show you this. I looked up that name Walela on my phone. All those old names meant something. Guess what that one means?"

"What?"

Paul pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit a button to reveal the answer on his screen. She stared at the word: **Hummingbird**.

* * *

She felt like she was falling, slipping away into a deep abyss. She must have dreamed the entire day, because before she opened her eyes she could feel herself in a reclined position.

Then the voice became clear again, "Bella...wake up. Should I drive you to the doctor or the hospital or something? What do I do?"

"Paul?"

"Yeah," he had one hand on the wheel and one on her. "Oh good, you're awake. Shit, you scared me. I didn't know what to do, you passed out and I put you in the seat and started driving."

She put her hand to her head, which felt like an inflated balloon. "I'm okay. I think I need food, is all."

"Well, the baby's fine. I listened when I got you in the seat."

"Thanks, yeah, I got dizzy. I worked all day with Eleanor and then the meeting. I skipped lunch."

"You shouldn't do that, but I feel terrible. I think I put you into shock."

Then she remembered: Walela meant hummingbird. That was the last thing she saw before the lights went out.

"Seth's gonna kick my ass."

"No, he's not. It wasn't your fault. I...I just had a dizzy spell. I'm glad you were there to keep me falling."

"Are you sure that's all it was?"

"Yes," she assured him. They had just turned on her road. "We're almost there, can you please keep this between us, so I don't make everyone worry, especially Seth?"

"No...no way."

"Okay, but let me talk to Seth first."

Paul pulled up to the house and Bella could see most of the pack on the porch or in the yard. She still felt a little woozy, but she knew once she walked around and got some cheese and crackers and something to drink, she'd be fine. Paul hopped out of the driver's seat. She didn't want him to act like she couldn't walk because she knew that she could. Seth left Jared at the grill and already started heading over her way. Paul reached inside and grabbed her.

"No, Paul...I'm fine, let me walk," she insisted.

He ignored her and lifted up to carry her up the steps of the porch.

"What the hell is going on? Bella, are you alright?" Seth put his hand on her forehead and followed right next to them.

"Yes, Seth. Paul's overreacting."

Paul took her inside and by that time almost all of them had taken notice that she was being carried.

"She fainted," he told all of them. Then the questions started all at the same time.

"What?"

"When?"

"Mom, are you okay?" Brady had asked that one. He accidentally said it one day and she thought it was funny. It kind of stuck. He and Collin called her Mom and sometimes Quil did to mess with her.

Leah spoke up, "Should I call Mom, Seth?"

"No," Bella insisted. She tried to sit up on the couch, but Paul kept pushing her back down. "I'm fine everyone, my blood sugar's low. It's happened before."

"What? You've been fainting and not saying anything?" Seth yelled.

"No, I mean when I was like 13 or 14, Renee took me to the doctor. Sometimes I have low blood pressure or blood sugar," she couldn't remember which,"and I was a nervous little kid and didn't eat enough. It's fine, this is the first time it's happened in years." Paul was still right next to her, he hadn't backed up.

Kim ran over with a glass of lemonade. "Would this help?"

"Let me up, Paul." She sat up and took the glass. "Yes, thanks, Kim. Did you get the snack trays out?"

"Yes, I'll bring them over."

"Do you mind?" Seth asked Paul who had hovered over her the entire time and Seth obviously wanted him to move.

She didn't know what had gotten into him. Paul never provoked Seth in a serious manner. He joked sometimes, but that was all. He respected their marriage, so she thought.

He stood up to Seth, "As a matter of fact, I do. I'm not moving aside until I know that she's okay or if she tells me to go."

"I think Bella already told the whole room, she's fine and I'm telling you to go," Seth and Paul had formed some sort of standoff right in front of her.

"NO!" Paul went a step further and pushed off Seth's chest.

That was the last straw. Seth completely lost it. Bella was alarmed about the whole thing and she still wasn't feeling herself. The men had halted Kim from bringing her a snack. Everyone except Jared, who was still manning the grill, had crowded around the living area.

"I've had just about enough of you always fucking trying to play footsie with my wife every time I turn around. Strange how she fainted while she was alone with you. I don't know what you did, but I want you to stay the hell away from her." Seth was shaking as he yelled in Paul's face.

"We all know the truth, Seth. You're not pissed because I try, you're pissed because you know she wants me to." Why did he have to go that far and say that?

"Paul, stop," Bella found her voice. She knew Paul was very skilled in provocation. Why the hell did he want to fight Seth all of the sudden?

Paul made eye contact with her, but Seth took advantage of his distraction and he physically made contact with Paul. He was going to drag him out if Paul wouldn't leave on his own free will.

Sam stepped in since he was their former leader. "Paul, Seth...outside NOW! You cannot fight so close to Bella. You both need to get out of here and get some control."

"Fuck off, Sam. I would never hurt Bella. Paul is the one that needs to leave. I won't be thrown out of my own house. You know what? All of you can fucking leave. Bella's tired and she's not up for visitors. God knows what Paul did to cause her to pass out."

"Seth, stop it. What's wrong with you? No, nobody leave. I'm fine, I just need some food, so let Kim do what she was on her way to do." Bella turned around to find Kim frozen in the middle of the floor holding a cheese, cracker and fruit tray. She motioned for her, so she hurried around the opposite side of the couch to avoid the disturbance. "Thanks Kim, why don't you go check on Jared and see if he needs help bringing in the meat?"

"Sure," Kim left the trays on the coffee table and hurried outside to her husband.

Bella grabbed a few pieces of food and started chewing. She was feeling so incredibly stressed because of Seth's temper, but the needed for some nutrition was her first priority. Paul had been right, she should have never ignored lunch. Taking care of herself had never been high on her list, but now that she had a baby depending on her for its growth and development, she had been doing a much better job. Today was not the norm, but it was still no excuse.

"Better, hummingbird?" Paul asked before anyone else. Sam stood in between Seth and Paul just in case.

She shook her head, and sipped some more lemonade and ate a piece of melon.

"Much better, thanks."

Seth continued to look like he could explode any minute. Bella didn't know what was going on. They had been fine that morning and he was happy about having everyone over. It was a common occurrence. She had never seen him act resentful about any of them. Even though, Paul could easily irritate him, he'd never given her an indication that he wanted to fight with him. She needed to figure out what had really set him off. Maybe hearing about her fainting was all it was. If he was that scared or upset about it, she'd let him take her to the doctor to ease his fears.

"Seth, do you want to talk in private for a minute?" Jared and Kim were bringing in trays of chicken and beef fajitas._ Good,_ the food would distract them all. Bella felt like they'd all been excessively staring at her since the council meeting. "Come on, they can start eating while we talk." She stood up from the couch, she already felt tons better from her small snack. She planned on reassuring him and calming his fears or frustrations; whatever it was and then they could join the group. The thought did cross her mind that she should see if Paul would leave, but then why was that necessary? He hadn't done anything wrong. So he showed her the meaning of an old Indian name and it slightly freaked her out, but Paul took care of her. Seth had overreacted and she didn't feel right about kicking him out of her house. She wanted to make her husband understand and then they could all go back to normal.

He started to follow her, but Sam grabbed his arm. "Are you sure you're in control?" Seth jerked away from him.

"Yes," he took a few more steps closer towards Bella, but turned around and spouted off once more. "I'm not you, Sam. I wouldn't hurt my wife."

Leah got involved after that insult to Sam. It was still a very sensitive issue. "Back the fuck up, little brother. You need to watch your mouth. Who do you think you are?"

"I'm Bella's husband and this is our house. That's my baby she's carrying and I haven't even got a chance to check on her because all of you seem to think you have sort of claim on her, especially you; you screwed up fuck," he pointed to Paul.

Bella, all of the sudden didn't want to go back to the bedroom with him. She was about to say so, when a very unlikely person inserted himself into the situation.

"Seth, I don't think you're fine at all. You and Bella should talk here in front of us or postpone it til later. I still think you should go out and take a run. You know you'd never forgive yourself if something happened," Embry of all people had blocked him from going down the hallway.

She only thought he had been mad earlier, but when Embry tried to tell him what to do, he came unglued. She and Embry were friendly, but they still didn't know each other that well. He was the quietest and she also carried that trait, so the two of them had not had very many in depth conversations.

Seth ended up pushing Embry hard and he stumbled almost falling into Bella, but she saw it coming, thankfully. Having one or both of them fall on her would have not been good. The rest of the occurrence was all a blur of large bodies and loud expletives. Paul had practically made it across the room in one jumping motion. He was all over Seth, screaming at him for almost hitting her. Seth was fighting back, of course. She was surprised her house stayed in tact, but all of them ended up outside. Sam quickly and carefully corralled the whole bunch outdoors. She stood there completely confused and stunned about what had just occurred. Kim came to her side and put her arm around her.

"I should go stop them," was Bella's response.

"No, Bella. Sam's handling it. You shouldn't go out there. That's why Sam got them out so fast. He wants to protect you."

"I...I don't understand. Why is Seth so angry?"

"I don't know. Is he upset about the story?"

"What? How do you know?"

"Jared told me how they listened to a story. The whole pack thinks the story fits you to a tee, that for some reason history is repeating itself. He told me all about it on the way over here."

"No, it's not, I'm not..Seth and I haven't even talked about it."

"Well, he seems extremely jealous Bella and not just about Paul. I think he's mad at everyone. We do all come here a lot. Brady and Collin call you Mom and Old Quil keeps you running all the time. Face it: they all act like a bunch of very needy kids and you and Seth soon will have your own child. Maybe Seth thinks we're all taking advantage or too much of your time."

"Kim, I've never felt that way." Kim might still have the reputation for being ditsy, but Bella thought she was extremely insightful in this instance.

"And Jacob's almost back," Bella added.

"True, that probably added the most fuel to the fire." Bella walked over to the window hoping to see something, but they had all disappeared. She saw a few pairs of discarded shorts close to the woods. She hoped none of them were fighting and it was only about running off steam. She'd seen Seth mad when all the stuff with Jacob was going on, but this seemed even worse. She wanted him to come back and be his normal self.

Kim guided her back to the bar where she fixed them both plates of food. "Eat, nothing bad's going to happen, so eat while it's hot. I made you one of each."

Bella and Kim tried to find something else to talk about but neither of them were doing a great job. Soon, one by one they all started filing back through the door. They all came to her and asked if she'd eaten, but told her not to get up, that they'd help themselves. Everyone, but Sam, Leah, Paul and Seth returned with the addition of Collin who'd been on patrol and missed the whole uproar.

She soon asked the obvious, "Where's Seth?"

There were a lot of shifty glances going around the room, but Embry told her a little bit about what had happened in the woods. "Seth and Paul need to spend some time apart, Bella and Seth isn't going to come back home til he calms down."

"Well, if he'd come back, I'll help him. Can you go tell Sam?"

"Sam's with Paul and Leah's with Seth. She's going to make him stay at Sue's tonight."

"What? All night, aren't you all overreacting? You're probably making it worse by not letting him come home to me."

"It isn't up to any of us now."

"Why?"

"Cause Jake's back," Collin announced. "Jake phased in while I was on patrol, we all have to meet him at his new property at 10."

"Does Jacob know what's going on? None of you told him I was pregnant, did you?"

Way to not act suspicious but she had to know. Some of them gave her some strange looks.

"No, Bella, Paul told us to keep it to ourselves for now," was Quil's response. "But Jacob knows that Seth and Paul were out of control tonight, and he put the order down, they can't be near you until he says it's alright."

"Great, that's fantastic. I can't imagine what Seth thinks now. That's it, I'm going to get my husband. This is between us, and no one else." She walked over to get her keys off the counter, but Embry stopped her.

"No Bella, I can't let you do that. I've got patrol and I'll be near by all night. If you need anything, just yell out the window or the front door, but you can't see Seth. You know this isn't like him, but something set him off today. He'll probably be fine once he spends one night away and then he'll be home before you know it."

"Fucking Seth, what the hell was his deal? I can't believe he shoved Embry like that." Collin must of seen it replayed in the pack mind, and he was extremely pissed at Seth's carelessness.

"It was Paul that started it," Quil added. "He should have gotten out of the way when Seth wanted to see to his wife."

"I understand that, but Paul has been very protective of Bella for a long time. We all know it, Seth has always been understanding til now," Jared seemed to side with Paul even though he was outside during most of it.

Bella was becoming even more distressed. Not only was Seth under orders from Jacob of all people to stay away from her, the other pack members were starting their own disagreements about who was right or wrong. She thought she had organized such a great day for all of them, but it had gone straight to hell. This had turned out to be a terrible day, and it all started with that crazy legend. She wished it was possible to erase it from all their memories.

Kim, being the only other woman in the room saw what the bickering was doing to her friend. "Guys, finish eating and stop talking. Bella needs to get to bed, it's been a long day." She turned to Bella and guided her to the back of the house. "Go, get your pj's and soak in the tub. I'll finish feeding the guys and I'll make them clean up, then we'll all get out of your hair. I promise, tomorrow is going to be a better day. Seth will have calmed down and he'll be home. Can you do that for me?"

Bella shook her head slightly and did what Kim suggested. She stayed in the tub until all the voices quieted down. She brushed her teeth, combed through her wet hair and put on a sleep tank and boxer shorts. She walked out of the bathroom to an empty house. The stove light and her bedside lamp were the only lights on in the house. Kim left her a note in her pristine kitchen. There wasn't a sign anyone had been there. Kim told her all the leftovers were divided up just like she normally did, but she left a portion for her and Seth for the next day. She told her to get some sleep and sweet dreams and no one would bother her.

"Take all the time you need. Love, Kim," was the last line of the note.

Bella knew if she hadn't been pregnant, this would have been one of those nights she would need two sleeping pills, but that wasn't an option and it took her forever to fall asleep. Her bed was incredibly cold and lonely without Seth. She also was consumed with thoughts about Jacob. He was going to find out she was pregnant. It was a miracle that he didn't already know. She also didn't know what to think about Paul. What had made him tell Seth, "NO" like that? None of it made any sense, but finally her thoughts settled down and she drifted off.

She was hoping she'd slept for a long time, but the clock told the truth. She'd only been asleep for a little more than two hours. She got up to go to the bathroom, and of course, then she wanted water, which would cause another trip to the bathroom in a few hours. She started to head back to bed, but decided to see if the situation had changed. She slowly unlocked her front door and slightly opened it, "Em..." she whispered. "Embry, can you hear me?" Bella saw lightning off in the distance light up the clouds. They were going to get another summer storm most likely. She called a little louder the next time, "Embry!"

She was just about to lock herself back in when he appeared. She saw his figure coming from the bushes. The lightning caused a glow and she saw him clearly.

"Hey, Bella, is everything okay?"

"Yes, that's wanted to ask you."

Embry rubbed his hand through his hair as he headed to her porch. Tiny rain droplets started to fall around him. He looked a little unsure, but she invited him inside. She was all the way awake and it was raining. He might as well come in and talk. "Come on in. Do you want something to drink or eat?"

"No, maybe just a glass of water. You sure you're okay. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Yeah, but I can't sleep. I have to know. Have you seen Seth?"

"Yes, we had a meeting, remember?"

"With Jake? How did Seth and Paul act?"

"It was tense, to tell you the truth. Jacob had all these lofty plans about teaching us some things that he's learned under his spiritual adviser. He wasn't too pleased to find out what had been going on and it made even worse that I almost hurt you."

"Embry, that wasn't your fault. It was an accident and I'm not hurt, of course."

"I know, but it was close and I would never forgive myself if I'd fallen on you and hurt you or your baby."

"Seth shouldn't have pushed you...period. You were right to stop him. I know he wouldn't hurt me, but the way he was overreacting and yelling, I wouldn't have been able to calm him down right then. He would have stressed me out more than I already was. Can you believe he and I have not had one argument since getting married? This kinda made up for all those peaceful months, I guess. I mean, it isn't me exactly. It seems like he's lashing out at everyone around us."

"Yeah, there's more to the story, I think."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, he and Jake went off to talk alone. I...I shouldn't say, because I only heard the first part," Embry looked away from her like he regretted opening his mouth.

"What part? Please tell me, if it has to do with me or my marriage."

"Jacob said something about Seth's guilt. I don't know anything else."

Bella had no idea what that could mean. Why would Seth be guilty of anything? She and Jacob were the ones that couldn't be trusted alone together. Look what had happened one afternoon of trying to talk a few things out. She was pregnant with two potential fathers and Seth was in the dark about that. She felt a cold chill pass through her body. She instantly shivered and Embry reached for the throw on the back of the couch and covered her up.

"Cold?"

"Yeah," but there was more than her low body temperature going on. What if she had it all wrong? What if Seth somehow knew she'd slipped up and was with Jacob again? How could he have found out? That might explain this sudden rage he was experiencing, but why not come right out and accuse her if that was it? Instead, he'd lashed out at Paul, then Sam and Embry. She didn't know what she should do next, but if he'd only come home and they had the chance to talk again; she would know more. Hopefully, they would soon fix whatever was wrong. She realized how much she needed him, and how lonely it felt in their home. She didn't like the feeling whatsoever and she never wanted to feel that way again.

Embry finally talked Bella into going back to bed, that things would be better in the light of day. She was exhausted and the next time she went out, she didn't wake until almost 9 o'clock. She got up to make a mug of hot tea. While her water was heating up, she checked her phone. She'd checked countless times the night before and didn't have any word from Seth. When she picked it up, she finally had two messages.

**im sorry**

Paul also had sent one.

**i hate this, i need to see u**

That was it, no idea when he was coming home. She decided to have her mug of tea out on the porch. It had rained most of the night after she'd first sat up with Embry. She still could smell the scents in the air that the rain always brought. It was a cooler morning than normal and she enjoyed the way the tea helped warm her back up. She touched the rounded belly she'd developed. It still was pretty small, but was definitely noticeable. She hadn't felt the flutters since the meeting, but then again she hadn't relaxed enough to see if it would happen again.

She spoke to her unborn child. It was usually Seth that talked to their baby, but she felt compelled to tell him or her everything was fine, that Daddy would be home soon.

She looked up from her lap and like a vision she'd conjured up so many times before, he emerged from the treeline. The glow of the morning sunlight against the damp earth, shone all around him, creating a shadow on his face, but she knew it was really him. She didn't even have to think about what she should do next. She hopped up and started towards him. He sped up which was good, because it wasn't a good idea for her to be running.

They reached each other soon enough: time, distance and necessity had kept them away for too long, but none of those things had changed anything. He hoisted her up in his arms and she held on to his shoulders for dear life. She rested her face against his neck and took in deep breaths, it was still the same. The way he smelled, the way he felt and how he sounded.

"Bells, I can't believe I'm holding you again. I missed you so much. I wondered if I'd ever experience this again."

Jake..." she cried against him. They probably shouldn't be experiencing that sort of embrace again, but when she saw him again after three months, it was inevitable. "Jacob, I'm so glad you're back," it was the truth. It had made her nervous the past few weeks, but now that he was really there, she was only relieved.

He let her slide back down til her feet were firmly on the ground. He took a step back, but reached out to hold her face with one hand. They both studied each other for another minute, when Jacob tilted his head curiously. His nose slightly twitched and then his gaze left her face and made the journey down her body. His next move and statement completely stunned her. He placed his large hand over the swell and asked the obvious question.

"Bella, what the hell is going on with your stomach?"

_**~Thanks so much for reading.**_

_**So what the heck is going on with Seth? I really would love to hear what your theories are?**_


	43. Chapter 43

_**~A/N I loved hearing what you all thought about Seth's guilt. Some of you are really close and it's a combination of things, because nothing in this story is ever simple. This is another lengthy one and I already anticipate, "What? No, you can't stop it there," but I had to and it keeps you coming back for more, right? I adore all of you, thanks again for the support.**_

Chapter 41

Bella snuggled closer to the warmth that surrounded her. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt such comfort. Was she dreaming again? She had serious issues with that sometimes, not knowing when she was in between dream states or awake. Her eyes were closed, so it had to be a dream.

"Bells, wake up...is this normal? Should I call someone?"

She finally realized where she was. She was in Jacob's lap, but why? She immediately started to scramble to move herself away from him.

He helped her off and tried to calm her down. "Shh, Bells, I think you passed out. Like I said, is that normal?"

"No...I'm starting to think it's not."

"So, it's happened before?"

"Yeah last night...that's what started the whole fight." Among other things she imagined.

"Okay, well do you have a doctor? I assume since you're pregnant, you do. Don't you think you should call her or him?"

There it was, he knew. "Um...yes, but first can you get me some water and then let me explain."

Jacob got up and went into her kitchen searching for a glass.

"In the fridge, I have a pitcher." She heard him open it up and pour the water. He soon brought it back to her.

"I'm sorry, but could you also get me a blueberry yogurt, spoons are in the drawer to the right of the stove." He did as she asked.

He opened it for her first and then handed the cup to her. She took a few bites in front of him and sipped her water. "Thanks." She was more becoming a little more concerned given what had happened yesterday and she intended to call the doctor, but first she had to get it all out the open with him.

"How far along?" was his first question.

"Four months."

"So it's mine."

"What? No, I never said that."

"You didn't have to, why else would you go to all these lengths to keep me from knowing. My whole pack knows, I'm guessing; my father too and no one said a word."

"Well, I didn't want anyone else to tell you."

"Because it's mine."

"Jake, stop saying that. I...I don't know for sure, okay; but I'm pretty sure it's Seth's. He and I are married Jacob."

"I know that, Bella, but marriage doesn't make babies."

"Well, you and I...you know and Seth and I are newlyweds. We were having a lot of sex."

Jacob made a face, "Thanks for that information I never asked for. Don't you think I knew that? It hit me like a ton of bricks that day I came over to tell you I'd broken the imprint with Nadia."

She buried her face in her hands, it sounded even more awful when he said it that way.

"Hey, are you going to faint again?"

"No, I'm just ashamed. I'm sorry. Jacob, I don't know what to do. Seth and I have started a good life together. I did so many bad things. I would hate to hurt him again."

"It was never my intention to purposely hurt him. I want to reconcile with him. I swear I do, but I'm not about to keep quiet if that's my child. I can't Bells, you had to know I'd feel this way."

"Yes, I knew and I wouldn't keep your son or daughter from you. We don't want to know the gender in case you were wondering. I still care about you Jacob and I know given the chance you'd be an excellent father...it's just, I need more time and what if we confessed it all and the baby was his all along. I could lose him and then my baby would start out in a broken home."

"For god's sake, Bella you're never going to lose Seth. He's gone to great lengths to have you."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing...forget I said anything. What if the baby is mine though and Seth is completely invested in your child and then I come forward: days, weeks, months later and tell him the truth? Is the alternative better? And by the way, I wouldn't wait that long."

"Okay, I understand. Jake, Paul is the only one that knows."

"Why does that not surprise me? And?"

"Well, he says he can't tell as long as I'm pregnant. Is that true?"

"Do you mind?" He reached his hand out and brushed it across her abdomen.

She felt like her heart was going to explode inside her chest, but she shook her head yes.

He touched her so softly, with so much love and adoration behind it still after all those months. He leaned in for a closer listen. She was so tempted to grab onto his head and squeeze him against her, but she sat in silence as he studied her. His breathing was even, but deep. She had to remind herself to stay calm. She could not pass out again.

"Well?"

"Paul's right, for now."

"Okay, so can you let me have a little more time? I don't even know what happened here last night and Seth and I need to sort that out."

"Well, I'm not sure I'm letting him around you just yet, especially now that I know about the baby."

"Jacob, you know he won't hurt me."

"No, I don't. I remember how forceful he grabbed you at Charlie's that day. I saw what happened with Embry. He might not mean it, but I can't trust him right now and neither should you. Seth isn't so perfect, far from it."

Bella realized Jacob's hand was still on her. She covered his hand with hers. It was a surreal moment. Her mind was racing with all the possibilities and complications, but for the first time since the pregnancy test, she was consumed by a peaceful thought. No matter which one, her child would be completely loved and blessed. Jacob or Seth, either one would be a fantastic father. It wasn't like any outcome would change how she felt about this baby. She loved it already with all her heart.

"Okay, Jacob. I'm going to tell him before the baby's born, I promise; but please not today."

"That's fine, I want you to get checked out first anyway. Who should I call?"

"Call Charlie, please while I call Dr. Oliver. Charlie will come and get me and take me in, I'm sure."

* * *

Bella was lying back while the technician squirted warm gel on her stomach. Charlie looked away when they pulled up her shirt. She pointed to the screen so he could focus on his grandchild. Dr. Oliver had given her a quick exam and done some blood work. She noted Bella's blood pressure was running a little low, but she sent her for an ultrasound just to make sure the baby looked fine.

The tech started taking certain still shots and measurements. The baby was still growing normally and was active. Dr. Oliver said Bella was a tad bit behind on her weight gain, but she could catch up. It usually happened faster in the second trimester anyway.

A few minutes into the scan, the door opened. All eyes turned towards the door. It was Seth. Jacob must have sent for him. It was further proof the kind of man, Jacob truly was; he knew Seth should be with her.

"Seth," she breathed out. So relieved to see him after such a tumultuous night.

The technician smiled, "Just in time, Dad. I was trying to get a good profile picture for you two to take home."

Charlie moved to the side. "I can wait outside."

"No Dad, there's room for all us. It's fine if you stay."

Seth agreed, "Sure Charlie, we want you here." Seth slid in next to her and bent down to kiss her head. She reached up to feel for him and he took her hand. He held on tight and pulled it to his mouth to kiss her there as well.

The ultrasound lasted a few more minutes. The woman told them that Dr. Oliver would have all the results in a few minutes and they could wait in her office.

Charlie went to the waiting room and she and Seth were told to wait inside Dr. Oliver's office.

He stopped her as soon as they walked inside. He pulled her close and hugged her.

"I'm so sorry. My behavior was inexcusable. Please forgive me."

"Seth, I know, it wasn't who you truly are. I'm not sure what was wrong, but of course, I forgive you."

Dr. Oliver came in and told Bella so far, everything looked fine. She gave her some handouts on nutrition. She told her to never be without a water bottle and to also carry some healthy snacks with her. She told her she was scheduling her for a glucose test the next visit and that she should avoid stress. She and Seth couldn't help but look at each other.

"So, I'm guessing that might be an issue here? I thought you were out of school, Bella. Are you not relaxing and enjoying this nice summer we're having?"

"Yes, I am."

Seth interrupted, "Bella takes on a lot. She's been helping out in our community. She does a lot of extra activities on the reservation. I worried from the beginning she was taking on too much."

"Bella," the doctor chastised her like she was a small child. "Is that true? Your husband is ratting you out, isn't he?"

"Well, I never felt like it was too much except maybe I've been pushing harder the past couple of weeks since I felt better."

"Pregnancy is by no means a disease, but I'm pretty sure the fainting is a sign, that you are overdoing it. Please, pull back on what isn't necessary. You're lucky someone was there to catch you both times. Do I have your word, you'll follow all my recommendations?"

"Yes," Bella agreed.

Seth assured her as well, "I'll make sure of it."

When the three of them got out to the parking lot, Bella didn't see Seth's truck. "How'd you get here?"

"Jacob dropped me off."

"He did?" she didn't hide the surprise in her voice.

"Yes, so where to Chief? Do you need to go back to the station?"

"No, I took the rest of the day off, my cruiser is out at your place. I picked up Bells and drove her in her car."

Seth drove them all back to their place. Charlie gave Bella a hug and told her she better listen to the doctor. Bless his heart, Charlie didn't ask what the hell was going on, but he had to know something was off. Jacob called him and he brought Seth to the doctor's office, but he didn't pry. He was probably trying not to raise her stress levels.

She and Seth went inside and he made her sit while he warmed the leftovers. "So are you staying?"

"Of course, unless you don't want me to."

"No, I missed you like crazy last night. Don't ever stay away from me again."

"I don't plan on it."

"Bella, I feel like I should be very careful about what I say because I don't want to upset you."

"Go ahead, Seth. I get more stressed not knowing what you're thinking."

He let a few things out. She could tell that some things were hard for him. He said that story got to him, and he was not about to share her with Jacob and Paul just because they loved her too.

"I would never ask you to, Seth. You should have known that. I'm yours, I married you."

"Yes, but have you ever been just mine, Bella? First, Jake was always in the picture, then Paul showed up and never would leave. He'd live with us if you asked him, I swear it. And then the pack and now freaking Old Quil. He's Quil's grandfather and you're the one driving him to the eye doctor and appointments. Quil even mentioned now he wants you to take him to the dentist. I almost punched him over that and told him he better take him or else, that you were busy."

"Seth, he feels at ease with me, maybe I should call and check."

"No, don't, let them handle it. We're newlyweds and in 5 months we'll be parents, maybe I would like to enjoy you myself for awhile before our whole life changes again."

"Okay, Seth...I'll try to be more sensitive to your feelings, but I like having the pack around. I don't want them here everyday, and they've been pretty good about that." They really had, but the truth was they were almost always there at least twice a week. "Just remember we all fill more than one role in life. You aren't just my husband: you're a son, a deputy, a brother, a friend, a pack mate. I have roles as well. I admit I've been a little obsessed with the archives and the language, but I was trying to do something positive for a change. I enjoyed it. I never found it to be stressful."

That night Seth held her close in their bed. She felt comforted by it, but there was a little bit of distance between them. She couldn't put her finger on it, but they had not even kissed once on the lips since being back together. She knew he was struggling with more than he revealed. There were probably still a lot of unresolved problems, but they both seemed satisfied with what they managed to discuss. They decided to spend some time alone for awhile. She asked for a compromise instead of totally quitting her lessons with Eleanor. She promised not to go over more than once or twice a week, since recently it had been pretty much everyday.

Bella and Seth had made progress over the past couple of weeks. It took several days before he felt comfortable enough being romantic towards her again. She finally had to assure him it was fine, that she wasn't that frail and that she needed him. Once they made that connection again, most things changed for the better. Bella suspected there was something more he wanted to say, but she also had a huge bombshell for him. She knew there was still some fragileness to their relationship and it wasn't the right time yet.

He surprised her by asking if she was up to having everyone over Friday night.

"Yes, of course, if you're okay with it. I assumed you've reconciled with Sam and Embry?"

"Yeah, I apologized right away to them, but you know Lahote is another story. He and I are still not ready for that," he admitted.

Bella expected that, but she'd been completely floored when Seth told her that he and Jake had spent some time together almost everyday since being back. They were working hard at getting back the friendship they'd both taken part in destroying. She knew her role in that was even larger, but she felt happy for the two of them. He asked Bella if she was comfortable having Jacob at their get together. He thought asking him was the right thing to do.

"Yes, Seth, he is the alpha of the pack. If the two of you are willing to put your differences aside for the pack's sake, then I will do whatever I can as well. Does your generosity extend to Paul? I haven't seen him this whole time. Did you tell him he can't see me or is Jacob still keeping him from me?"

"No, that's Paul not us. He knows what the doctor told you. I think he believes he's protecting you. You miss him?"

"Yes." It was true Paul had only sent her a handful of texts asking how she was, but they hadn't seen each other.

"You need him there?"

"I...I never said need. I don't know, Seth. I would like to have him there. Does that bother you?"

"Bella, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes."

"I already know you and Paul have some sort of connection that the rest of us don't exactly understand, me especially; but I need to know. It's driven me crazy for a long time."

"Okay..." She knew where this was headed.

"Have you ever been? Shit, I can't even say it. Have you and Paul?"

She decided to finish what he couldn't seem to get out, "Been Intimate? Is that what you're trying to ask about Paul and me?"

"Yes," he said with frustration as he rubbed his hand through one side of his hair. Surely, he never thought she'd had sex with him, but maybe that is why he was struggling so much with this line of questioning.

She was as honest as she could be, "There's an intimate nature to our relationship Seth, but that means something other than sex if that makes any sense. But to honestly answer your question, he and I have kissed once."

"What kind of kiss? When? Who kissed who?"

"It was a real kiss...passionate and I'm sorry, but it was the night I stayed with him after Kim and Jared's wedding. Oh, and I initiated it for several reasons. Does this help to know or make it worse?"

"Better, I think because I've wondered hundreds of times but never asked. At least, I know that no matter how much he loves you, he still doesn't cross the line. Which is nothing like him and now that he has given up man-whoring, I didn't think he had that much restraint."

"What do you mean given up? Are you saying Paul doesn't ever go out anymore?"

"If that's what you want to call it, no Bella; Paul hasn't gone anywhere in a very long time."

"I...I mean; of course, he stopped talking about it, but I just assumed. I never thought." She had no idea what to think about that fact. She didn't like to think about him with a bunch of random whores, but she also felt it was unfair that he was lonely. She never wanted that either. She knew he deserved more out of life. She wanted him to have things in life that she obviously couldn't give him, but apparently he never wanted those things enough for himself.

"Bella, I would never tell you who you could and couldn't be friends with, but at least we can all admit; this isn't black and white...just friends or more. I don't know what I'm trying to say, it's complicated."

She laughed because it reminded her of Dr. Thompson. She told him about her "gray area" according to her therapist. Her own husband seemed to feel the same way, but he said she should get it over with. "Go have a talk with him and invite him. I'll behave, but he better do the same. Jacob won't put up with anymore fights, we are all trying to be better men. We will soon set the example for two young ones and we all have a responsibility to not make the same mistakes."

* * *

She couldn't deny it, the closer she got to his place, the better she felt. Was it need, like Seth had said or did she just miss her friend? Either way, she needed to see him. She wanted him there that evening, but things would have to be different. She couldn't take another fight and Seth said that Jacob wasn't going to put up with it.

He stepped out on the porch before she got the car in park. He must have heard her approach. She didn't waste any time getting out to see him and he hopped off the steps in one jump to make it easier.

"Paul."

"Hummingbird, I missed you so damn much." He leaned down and hugged her. He even gave her a kiss on her face, not caring that he caught the corner of her mouth. "Are you better?"

"I'm fine, it wasn't a big deal."

"It was a big deal to me, since I felt like I caused you all the stress."

"You know it wasn't all you."

"But still," he threw his arm over her shoulder and guided her up the steps and inside.

"Well...I'm much better now other than the fact my summer ends in less than 2 weeks. So I'm guessing you've heard, we're all getting together again? "

"Yep."

"I want you there," she announced.

"Okay."

"Sue is making some of the food for us since Seth still thinks I can't overdo it, but Kim is also contributing." Paul squinched his nose in disgust.

"She's better, I've helped her. Jared is happy with what she's been making at home."

"Yeah, well Jared's whipped, but yes, I'll be there."

"Okay, well it's kind of a big deal. Jake is coming too."

"Yeah and Jake's always a big deal," some things never change, he was so damn sarcastic.

"Are you going to behave?"

"Yes, for them, but maybe I should misbehave some with you now just so I get it out of my system."

He pulled her down with him and made her sit in his lap on his love seat.

She pretended to put up a fight, "Paul stop. Let me up." but he held her there and she liked the way it felt to be held by him again. She silenced her complaining because she sensed he needed the contact. They'd been apart for a long time according to their standards. He took his right hand and ran it up her shoulder just skimming her collar bone before settling it somewhere towards the back of her neck. He threaded his fingers through some of her hair and gently tugged her head to his chest. She listened to his strong steady heartbeat and he rested his head close to hers. She could feel him breathing in her scent. Their arms both found comfort holding onto one another. Eventually, like always, one of his hand made it to the front of her belly. He rubbed the skin there til finally he spoke again.

"There you are, I missed you little one."

The baby was a quick mover now and she felt it all the time. Seth could feel it as well. Paul jerked his hand back after the movement surprised him.

"Wow, that's new."

"Yeah, pretty amazing, huh?"

He put his hand back and sure enough, the baby jumped again.

"I swear the warmth wakes it up."

"It, huh? I think it's a boy. That felt too strong to be a girl."

"Why does everyone else think I'm having a boy?"

"You don't?" he questioned.

"No, of course, I don't know; but I kinda think it's a girl."

She looked down at herself. There she was sitting in his lap. He had his hand on her bare baby bump. It was what she'd tried to explain to Seth; intimate, but not sexual. Although, if she was completely truthful; she imagined if either one of them had ever flat out asked, it could have been. She carefully climbed out of his lap to sit next to him and shook those thoughts from her mind.

"Paul, is it true you never visit any of your lady friends any longer?"

He threw his head back and laughed rather loudly at her question.

"Stop," she punched his shoulder. "I want to know. Do you?"

"So that's what prompted this visit today, you want to know if I can still get laid?"

"No, and I have no doubts that you can, but do you?"

"Hummingbird, what difference does it make?"

"It makes a big difference. If you don't pick up women, does that mean you're thinking about settling down?" He started shaking his head side to side. "You're not answering my questions." He was still silent. "Fine, but I want you to know that I think you deserve a real relationship." His head fell back again so that he was staring at the ceiling. She pulled his head back, so she could look in his eyes. "Paul, I'm serious. Promise me one day you will find someone...someone that deserves you and you'll have a family. I think you'd be an amazing father and it would help you heal. You'll be nothing like him. You're going to be great."

"Sure, whatever makes you happy, hummingbird. I promise; in fact, I know one day I'll be a dad. I've already dreamed about them."

"Are you serious? I'm shocked, so tell me about the dreams or can you remember any details?"

"Yes, I remember everything about them. I'm going to have two kids: a girl and a boy."

"Ah, do your dream children have names?"

"Yep, but those are secret."

"They wouldn't happen to be ancient Native names, would they?" she was kidding.

"Hell no, they're named after constellations."

"Oh my god, that's perfect for you." She looped her arm with his and squeezed.

"I still don't have any names picked out and you already know what you'll name your kids and you haven't even met their mother yet."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and he was staring at her so intensely she felt self-conscious. She asked another question to try and distract him. "What do they look like?"

"Oh, my little girl is a princess, beautiful like her mom." The question hadn't distracted him, he was still staring. "And my son looks like me. The women are going to chase him for sure, but he'll be tough, because he and I will kick any guy's ass that comes around his sister."

"I like this scenario, Paul."

"I'm glad you do," he told her.

"I mean it, think back to a year ago, would you have ever allowed yourself to dream such a thing?"

"No, probably not," he admitted. Paul had told her before he never thought he'd have anything good, maybe that he never felt like he deserved it. She knew he did.

He slid his arm around her once again and she rested against his side.

"Any chance you'd take a nap with me?" he asked.

"Maybe a short one, but I have a few things to get for dinner from the store."

"Give me an hour?" he asked.

"Sure, I can do that. I probably need it, before tonight."

He stood up, took her hands and backed his way to his bed; pulling her arms as he went. "Bed's more comfortable."

She climbed in and he situated himself behind her. He was right, it was so comfortable to be next to him.

* * *

The house was alive again. Bella had missed them more than she'd let on to Seth. So far, everyone was there except Jacob had not stopped by yet. Maybe it was too soon after all. Sue and Charlie came over briefly with some food. She begged them to stay, but they said they were headed to Billy's for dinner and a game of dominoes. A few other friends were meeting them. Sue and Kim made most of the dinner, but Bella made the appetizers and the desserts.

Quil pulled her aside, "He misses you."

They both looked over at Seth. He frowned. "I know, I miss him too. Did you take him to the dentist?"

"Yes, and he wants to pull a tooth, said he's got an infection that he needs cleared up first. I'm making sure he takes his antibiotics. He really wants you there when they pull it." They turned back to Seth again.

"Aw for fuck's sake...fine, if you want to. Go ahead, Bella."

She skipped across the room to deliver a kiss to his soft cheek. "Thank you, baby. You'll make an old man happy. Come on, don't worry, it'll be fine."

He smiled at her, but flipped off Quil. "You're too good for all of us," Seth whispered in her ear.

"Yeah, right," she replied.

There was a knock right after that. Embry walked over and turned to Bella, she nodded. He opened it to reveal Jacob standing in front of the door. He'd made it. Bella swallowed a small lump in her throat. She was going to have to get use to this. Seth and Jacob were making huge progress. They'd all started eating snacks, so she spoke up and showed him the food.

He politely asked how she was feeling.

"Good, really good, but I have to go back to school next week. I'm ready, but summer went too fast."

"What about when the baby comes? What's the due date by the way?"

Bella took a deep breath. Here they were right in the middle of everyone pretending to make small talk when it wasn't really small talk at all. Jacob, with good reason, thought this baby was his and he was entitled to a little more information about it.

"January 25th and I'm taking off the rest of the year after Christmas break."

"Oh, that's sounds like a good plan. It's going to be cold by then. Hope you'll be extra careful when the snow and ice starts."

"I will, I hope its enough. I'm going to be big and even more clumsy probably."

"I have a hard time imagining you big, Bells," he was smiling at her like he use to. It was so familiar, but so foreign at the same time.

She looked to the side and saw that Seth was watching them. Even if he wasn't, he would have heard everything they said, but it still made her feel a little uneasy. She turned her focus on serving the main course. Kim helped her get all the food situated on the bar. It was the best way to get them all fed. Bella could tell Sam and Leah were a little more cozy each time she saw them. They weren't a couple again as far as anyone knew, but she really thought it was going to happen again one day. She remembered thinking how were they ever together when she first met them but now, she could totally see it.

They ravaged the food in the first 10 minutes. There would be no leftovers. Kim wasn't use to feeding everyone, like Bella was. She had developed a scientific formula to have enough and to pass one future meal or snack home with each of them, but it wasn't a big deal. She pulled out two different kinds of brownies. Quil had the biggest sweet tooth of any of them and he was first in line. He had come up for seconds when Bella heard his phone.

Quil looked down, "Grandfather," he said to her. "I'll run outside so I can hear him better." She didn't think anything about it, but Quil came back in two minutes later.

"Jake, Joseph called Grandfather. The boys are fighting. He can't stop them and he thinks they're going to hurt themselves."

"Boys still, not wolves?"

"Yes, they haven't phased but he said it's not normal. They were supposed to go night fishing on the pier and they got into it."

"Damn, I just checked earlier and they seemed okay."

"Let's go," Paul chimed in. "Let's get this over with. They're already pissed, it'll be easy."

Jacob looked around the room. Bella was worried, she'd had the opportunity to meet Trevor and Jordan and they were still boys. She hated they were about to go through this but she knew the pack would take great care of them.

"Everyone come with me, two at once and we're all a little rusty." He must of changed his mind, because then he said, "Seth, go ahead and stay with Bella and Kim. The rest of us can handle it."

"You sure, I was almost as young, maybe I'd be an asset."

Jacob looked back at Bella. She could tell he didn't want to leave her alone, she wasn't sure why. He was on edge about the twins, they were going to need his entire focus for who knew how long.

Embry again came to her rescue and reassured his alpha. "I'll stay here with the ladies, if that's okay. They'll be fine. Go take care of the pups."

Embry was quick to help Bella and Kim clean up. Bella rewarded him with the last brownie.

"Hey, do you two want to watch TV or something?" She needed the distraction. She was worried about them all. Like Jacob pointed out, it'd been awhile. She knew they had promised Joseph it would all be fine and the boys would not get hurt. She wondered how they'd manage it.

Embry said, "Sure, whatever's fine."

Kim laughed, "You're brave letting us girls pick. Who knows what we might put on. I bet Bella has episodes of The Bachelor on her DVR."

He was clueless, "What's that?"

They both got a laugh from that, so she started an episode and let Embry experience modern day reality television at its best.

"Ah, no...he's kissing that girl too. I thought he said he was falling for the blonde one." Apparently Embry had become very invested in the current bachelor and didn't like the choices he was making.

Bella asked if he wanted to watch the next one, but he declined. "No thanks, I better quit. That's an hour of my life I'll never get back and I think I should phase, see if I can figure out what's going on."

"Okay, yeah I've been wondering too," Bella admitted. If it hadn't been for Embry's commentaries about the program, she would have been on pins and needles, but he kept her distracted.

Kim looked at the clock. "I think I'll go home. Let Jared know, okay Em."

"Kim you can stay over, if you want. We put a twin bed in the baby's room already."

"No, that's okay. I'm picky about my own bed and stuff."

Embry offered to drive her home after he checked in with the guys.

"That means you'd leave Bella alone, I don't think Jacob would like that." Kim noticed Jacob was still being overprotective. She was sure everyone noticed. Embry shrugged and went outside. He was only out there 10 or 15 minutes before coming back inside.

She and Kim looked were anxious, "Well?"

"It happened. They broke up the fight. Paul said a few choice words to them and the taller one, Trevor started to shake and blur and then BAM...new wolf. Jordan watched the whole thing. He panicked and started to run, but the guys formed a line around him and blocked him. He phased right after."

"How are the twins? They must be so scared."

"Jacob and Paul are with Trevor and he's giving them a helluva time. Sam and Seth have Jordan, and he's a little more contained. He'll probably be able to switch back sooner than his brother."

"Will it take long?"

"Yeah, Bella it takes at least a few days. Someone will have to be with them 24/7."

"Well, I hope as soon as they do, we can have them over and show them this is a family. They need to feel secure and welcome."

"Don't hold your breath. It'll be a long time before Jake lets them over here."

"Why?"

"Lots of reasons, so don't even ask. I'm going to run Kim home. I'll be fast, I'm going to ask Collin to swing around. He and Brady took off on patrol as soon as the situation was under control."

"Embry, I'm on the reservation. I don't have to have someone here with me all the time. I haven't fainted again. I'm fine."

He didn't say much else, but she knew as soon as he got in the car with Kim, Collin was probably already circling back. She was about to be at school again everyday, so they had to ease up on this hovering thing that had been going on.

Bella felt the bed shift in the middle of the night. She had thought she heard water running a few minutes before but she'd drifted back to sleep. Seth had come in and showered and climbed in bed with her. She was so tired, but he had to be completely exhausted. She looked at the clock and it was after 4.

She turned towards him. "Everything okay?"

He groaned, "Yes, but man, that was hell and it still isn't over. I'd forgotten what it was like."

Bella moved closer to her husband and he reached out for her. He started rubbing her stomach. Once again, their baby squirmed in response to the warm touch.

"Are the twins calming down? They must be so scared."

"Yes and no. Jordan is better, but Trevor is going to be a pain in the ass. He's running Jake ragged. I don't know when he'll be able to leave him. He won't trust him with anyone else. Hopefully, eventually one of us can give him a break."

"Who relieved you?"

"Leah, took my place. She's all too quick to be at Sam's side these days."

"You sound like that bothers you."

"Maybe a little, she's rushing into it."

"Really, Seth? Are you forgetting about us?"

"No, how could I ever forget us, honey. Point taken, I'll try and keep my mouth shut and let her live her own life. She's done that for me, I guess."

Seth got quiet, she thought for a second he was drifting off to sleep; but his hand on her belly traveled to her hip and he pulled her even closer.

She felt his hot breath on neck, "Are you too sleepy? I'll leave you alone if you are, but I really need you right now."

She answered him with a kiss, it didn't matter if she was sleepy or not. It was hard to turn down that sort of request and she had nothing to do that day, so she could easily catch up on her rest.

Bella rolled over expecting Seth to still be next her. She knew if she needed the extra sleep, surely he did as well. She crawled out of bed and headed straight to bathroom as usual. She didn't smell the coffee or hear any noises. He must have left the house for some reason.

She went in the kitchen to make her tea. She missed coffee, but tried to rarely drink it. Seth still made some for himself every morning. The herbal tea was the next best thing. Her stomach was already growling since she'd slept in the extra hour and half. She decided to make some omelets for the two of them. Seth didn't have work, he most likely went to check on the pack. Hopefully, he'd be back soon. She decided to make only her omelet. She could make his fresh when he came in. She sat down at the bar and ate. She checked her phone a few times. She even got up several times to look outside. It wasn't a big deal, he had to rush out like this often, but she was still worried about what might be going on with the twins.

Finally, after she had wasted an hour doing nothing but pacing back and forth, he came inside. He looked overwhelmed; not upset, just different.

She went to him and threw her arms around him. He looked completely beat.

"Seth, did you not sleep at all last night?"

"No, not really."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is it the boys?"

"No, they're under control. Some of the guys have them out showing them a few of the ropes. They're trying to teach them the basics. They both are still a little edgy because they don't know how to change back. I remember that feeling. They're probably wondering if they will ever be human again. It is a frightening thought, and the fear also blocks it just like the anger."

"Hopefully, it will get better and better each day. At least they have all 10 of you to take turns and help. I have a feeling something else is bothering you Seth. What is it?"

"You're right, you know me so well." He leaned over and kissed her forehead, "Can we sit down? I have something to tell you Bella. I've put it off long enough. Last night, made me realize waiting isn't going to make it easier."

She felt an unsettling feeling come over her. That is precisely what she'd been doing, waiting for a better time for her confession even though deep down she knew no time would be the right time. She had no idea if the steps Jacob and Seth had taken to repair their friendship were going to make the truth any easier or it was all going to explode again.

She sat next to him, and he held both her hands.

"Seth, you're scaring me."

"I don't mean to. I need you to stay calm, okay? I know this isn't going to be good, since we are supposed to be keeping your stress to a minimum, but I have no choice Bella I have to tell you . I can't bring this child in the world with any lies between us. Don't you agree?"

"Yes, I agree. I...I don't want to keep things from you either, but Seth." She paused and took a deep breath and blew it out. "Seth, I have something to tell you too."

He touched her chin with his thumb and forefinger. "Bella, stop. Don't say anything, okay. Let me talk first, because I'm pretty sure it has something to do with what you're about to say. Bella, before either of us says another word, you have to know that I already love this baby. I will do anything to protect this child and you need to know I want to be a father to him or her no matter what. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

She was so shaken up by where this conversation was headed, she wasn't completely sure, so she responded, "I'm not sure, but you love our baby, so do I."

"Yeah, I love our baby, honey; but I know." He said the word "know" and he was staring into her eyes to the point she could feel it. "That's what I'm trying to say and I'll love our baby even if it's not mine. Now take a deep breath, because the rest of the story is not something I'm proud of but I need you to understand and please forgive me."

**_~Until next time...thanks a bunch!_**


	44. Chapter 44

_**~A/N I had a few more meaty topics I wanted to cover with this update, but this week might get busy for me and I knew you all were dying to know the revelation. I think I found a nice place to pause. In case anyone is wondering, I hope to wrap this up in 50 chapters give or take a few. Don't quote me on that, because this was originally supposed to be 25 chapters. LOL!**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer**_

_**This chapter is dedicated to luvinJ for several reasons. I totally respect her as a writer and she has given me support and encouragement since day one of this story; but she was the first one that predicted this behavior from Seth.**_

Chapter 42

Bella's brain was trying to catch up to what her ears had just heard. She could feel her shoulders start to tremble. She knew this was the moment she had to confess, but instead he made the confession he already knew.

"Bella, breathe...here," he handed her a water bottle. "Drink, try to relax and stay calm, okay. This is the reason, I waited. I was worried when you fainted those couple of times."

Her mouth felt like she'd stuffed it with cotton, so she did as he'd said and slowly sipped on the water before saying anything. The obvious apology came next. "Seth, I'm so sorry. It...it was a one time thing. I didn't set out to cheat again, I swear; but it happened nevertheless. How long have you known? I guess Jacob told you, because I was taking to long to find the courage."

"No, he didn't tell me."

"Oh, well...it doesn't matter. I did it, I'm still a terrible person, but I've been trying to do what's right since. I know that doesn't make up for it and as far as the baby goes; I...I really believe it's going to be your baby, but the slightest chance still exists. I don't know how you'll ever forgive me either way. It makes no sense that you've asked me for forgiveness."

Seth slumped over and held his head in his hands for a few seconds. When he finally sat back up, she saw his eyes were glossy with unshed tears. Why wasn't Seth screaming or freaking out more? She'd seen him react that way several times to pain and heartbreak. She could only assume his concern for the baby overpowered his natural tendencies.

"Honey, I've known since the day it happened."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, her mind flashed to all the countless times they'd been happy together: late night chats, morning lovemaking, all those perfect memories shared in their first few months of marriage. How could he have known during every one of those moments and have ignored the truth, pretended it never happened? She was the denial queen, but not Seth; it was not in his nature.

"I don't understand. Why didn't you confront me?"

"Because, I knew it was bound to happen, that I somehow deserved it after what I did. Don't get me wrong, I was beyond pissed; but I thought I was being punished and rightly so."

"Seth, why, how? You're not making any sense."

"Bella, I stole you from Jacob."

"No, that's not true. I was with you and having an affair. How is that stealing me away?"

"Because..." he closed his eyes for a few seconds, but opened them and looked straight into hers, "Because I knew before I proposed. I knew Jake was going to break the imprint. Wait," he held his hand up knowing she was about to respond. "Don't say anything, let me finish. We were fighting and as soon as we phased he started flooding my thoughts with Kelsee's revelations, letting me know he knew what to do and he was starting that very evening. At the time, we were still the only ones out in the woods. He kept trying to stop fighting, and told me it was over. He apologized repeatedly, but said you belonged with him and that you loved him more. I was so overcome with rage, hurt and fear that all that he was saying was right. Deep down I knew I'd loose you. In reality, I already had or maybe I never had you in first place. I wouldn't back down, I kept going after him. I wanted to push him so hard, because I wanted him to hurt me. Even when the others showed up, I wouldn't stop until he beat me so bad I couldn't continue. That's exactly what I wanted in the first place. I wanted you to see what he was capable of, I wanted all your sympathy. When I heard you send him away, I knew it worked. However, I knew once you calmed down and Jacob came back no longer imprinted to Nadia; you'd still go back to him."

"So you did something that would prevent me from doing that," she had caught on finally even though she had never had any clue that was how it had occurred. It was so unreal, so unlike Seth that she didn't feel like it could be true.

"Yes, I believed you'd take marriage seriously because of what happened with your parents. I hoped that if I got you to say yes and go through with it, that nothing else would come between us. It almost worked but you had to keep going back to try and see Jacob again."

"What do you mean keep going back?"

"You tried to see him several times, but you always changed you mind, except for that one Saturday when I was fishing with Charlie."

"What? Seth, how do you know all that? Were you following me?"

"Not exactly..."

He must have had an ally or a spy, but none of the pack seemed like a likely culprit. She couldn't figure out how he knew so much, but at the same time; it was her deceit that started it all in the first place. She had spent so much time blaming herself, trying not to hurt Seth again, but for once she was seeing her husband in a different light. It wasn't good, she had slowly been pulling back as he was talking. She pulled her hands away, sat further back on the sofa, and she wasn't making eye contact with him as much.

"Bella, this is all a lot I'm dumping on you and in my opinion, the rest is probably the worst part of it all, but you need to promise me you can try and stay calm, okay? Think about the baby. I know you're already mad and confused, but I still believe we've built something special and we can fix it. You have to believe that as much as I do."

"Just say it Seth, what's the rest? You've basically admitted that our marriage was some sort of trick. I'm not sure how I even feel about that part yet, because I still don't get why you kept silent after I betrayed you one last time with Jacob."

"The Tahoe..."

"What about it?"

"I gave you that as a wedding gift, but it had a GPS tracker. I knew where you were at all times, I also had a program on your phone and your computer. I knew every communication you had, and every place you'd driven."

Her respirations picked up in an instant. Of course, Seth was a cop, he knew all about the different technologies that were available, but to use them on his own wife was unbelievable. He wouldn't have been able to do something like that on a suspected criminal without a court order and yet he'd done it to her. "On our honeymoon, you said I already had your trust, but that wasn't true in the least. You never trusted me. It was all a lie, our whole relationship was based on lies; mine and yours." She had been too stunned to cry earlier, but now tears were continuously flooding from her eyes.

Seth tried to touch her cheeks, but she flinched and he pulled his hand back. "No, not all of it. Bella, you know how much I love you and you love me too. We made mistakes, but our love is real and our baby deserves to be born in a happy home. That's why we have to get this all out in the open and move past it before our child is born."

"So that's it...we just forget about it all and love will be enough. Well, I hate to break it to you Seth, love isn't enough in plenty of instances. Probably, the majority of divorces involve people that still love each other."

"You're not seriously saying you want a divorce, are you?"

"No...I don't know what I'm saying, but Seth, can't you see how messed up we are? So you're still spying on me?"

"No, not at all. I took off everything months ago. I swear it."

"I'm surprised. Jake's been back a few weeks, how do you know I haven't been fucking him again if you aren't reading all my texts?"

"Because I know that you're not and what I did before was wrong. Don't you think I know that? I'm not doing it anymore and I never would again."

"Why didn't you storm in and expose us? Why did you keep it to yourself?"

"I thought about it. I knew you kept going to the road but leaving. Then one day, you stayed. I panicked and made an excuse with Charlie. I rushed over as quick as I could, but you both were gone. I didn't know where. I even went to the little cabin in the woods. I had found out that was your meeting place, but neither of you had been there. I wandered around trying to figure out where, when I circled around again. You were leaving Billy's and then you went to Charlie's. I stayed outside, but I heard the water. Why else would you go to his house to shower? I ended up going to a bar, tried to drink away the reality of it, but that didn't work. You know how my metabolism is. Then I got called back concerning Sam, I had to pretend everything was normal when I really wanted to jump on Jacob again and tell them all what he had done again. When I came home and every unnatural scent known to man was in the house, I knew all my suspicions were true. I still couldn't come up with the guts to say anything. If I threw a fit and told you the truth, that would have been it; you would have left me and gone back to him, so I kept it in. You cannot imagine my relief when he left. I thought we finally had a real chance to be all that I knew we could be if he was not around. Of course, when you told me you were pregnant, I was even more convinced we had it made. It only took me a little bit of time to realize I might not be the father, that the alternative was possible; but Jacob was gone so I buried that fact. The more real, the baby became, the less it mattered to me. In my mind, I'm the baby's father no matter what."

Bella didn't feel faint like those other times. She wasn't freaking out or even crying any longer. She felt numb, that was it. She felt nothing. He tried to touch her but she stopped him, "Don't."

"Look at me," he pleaded.

She did, "Bella, please I can't tell what your feeling. It's like you not even there. Say something. Call me names, scream at me, cry...do something. Your eyes look dead. I'm sorry, this has bothered me for months. It became even more evident as the pack bonded with you more and more."

"Why did that bother you? I thought you liked that we all accepted each other."

"Bella, isn't it obvious? Why do you think my insecurities were at an all time high a few weeks ago?"

"Cause Jacob was coming back?"

"No, well that too. It was more about that story and how they all congregated around you. You're the alpha female, honey. It's unmistakable. They all sense it and as we all know, I'm not the alpha. It's further proof that I stole you from him. That doesn't mean I'd ever give you up because I won't. I don't know how."

"But I just realized, Jacob knew he'd told you the truth. Why didn't he tell me?"

"I'm not sure, I worried like hell that he would when I knew he'd been here after leaving Kelsee's. I guess he didn't want to use any sort of manipulation or persuasion to secure your love. I never thought he was that noble, but now that we are spending time together, I can see how much he's matured. He only cares about your happiness and your safety even though I know he still loves you just as much."

Bella's heart sank even further than she thought possible. She felt the baby shifting around inside her. Her first instinct was to protect her child, but how? What Seth had been telling her was pretty bad. She couldn't believe what he had done or not done, but she looked at him again. She was still married to him and no matter what, she still loved him. If he could love her after all her lies, she would be the biggest hypocrite alive to tell him she couldn't do the same. Then there was Jake, was she really meant to be his; meant to be the alpha female even if an imprint didn't exist between them?

"Say something? Do you want to get out and get some fresh air, go to lunch? You need to eat. I don't expect you to understand and forgive me all at once, but please don't give up on us."

"Seth, I'm not giving up, okay; but I need some time and you probably do as well. I haven't even explained why I slept with Jacob after you and I were married."

"I don't need you to explain it. You love him, I knew it was true when I put a ring on your finger and I knew it last night when you two talked in our kitchen. I knew it when I made love to you early this morning. I've known every time."

"How can you be alright with that?"

"Because you love me too. Hell, you even love Paul more than you'll ever admit. When Leah use to ask me if someone could love two people equally after all the shit went on with Sam, I use to hesitate to answer her. I didn't think it was possible. I believed Sam didn't love her or how else could he be with Emily and end up marrying her? I stand corrected, something is different about you. I don't know if your heart is that big or maybe we're all that fucked up; but I've seen it. Your love is real. With that being said, I don't think any of us are selfless enough to be like that damn second wife story. It obviously didn't end well either. Billy, pretty much said; she killed herself."

"I still don't think she did."

"Well, life was completely different then. We aren't going to share you completely. It's hard enough to share you emotionally, but I feel like that's what happens each time you come in contact with either of them."

"I think I should leave Seth," he looked completely stunned she'd made that assessment.

"No, why?"

"I can't think here."

"Well, where do you plan on going?"

"I need to talk to Jacob." She didn't mean she was going to him, just that she felt a need to spill all these secrets to him.

"I know, but he's still with the pups. He hasn't left them once. It might be days. Paul may get some time later."

"I can't think when I'm with Paul either. I'll just go to my Dad's as hard as that will be, I need to."

"No, stay here. I'll leave."

"I don't like being in your house alone."

"My house, it's our house. What the hell, Bella?"

She stood up to head back to their room. She had to go some place to think. Seth was not going to get out of her face as long as she was with him. She had pretty much changed her mind about going to Charlie's as soon as she'd said it. He had worried about her so much this past year, she couldn't start that up again. She grabbed a small bag out of the closet. She wasn't leaving for good. She'd be back before the teachers started back the next week. Wouldn't she? She had recently bought several new things that fit her for the school year, but she grabbed a few pairs of shorts and t-shirts and her yoga pants. Seth soon followed her.

"No, stop please. I told you, I'll leave."

"And I told you I can't stay here alone."

"Fine go to Mom's."

"Really, Sue's? I can't imagine what Leah would say?"

"Leah will probably take your side, they all will."

"I doubt it and who cares. This isn't about sides."

"Bella, you can't leave the reservation?"

"Why? Am I a prisoner?"

"No, but the twins just phased and we haven't figured out why. There's a threat out there that we don't know about. Are you forgetting the Cullen's?"

"No, I'll never forget about the Cullen's, but I doubt they're ever coming back and what difference does it make? I work in Forks and you all deal with that."

"But Jake was going to make sure someone was nearby at all times. You have to at least tell me where you're going."

"Like that matters...you'll follow me and you'll know, so I prefer not to humor you right now."

She said very little else. She got the rest of the things she needed and left. He stopped arguing with her. She knew he had every right to not trust her in the beginning, but the way he went about it had been all wrong. It would have better for him to come out and say it instead of being such a sneak behind her back.

The best solution she had come up with was to leave everyone from the pack out of the loop. They'd all have way too many opinions so she went far out of her comfort zone and made the request to a friend.

"Hey woman, glad to see you. Sorry about the situation, but its going to be okay hun. I swear this happens to almost all newlyweds and you're pregnant. I bet your hormones are messing with you," Kate told her as soon as she pulled her inside.

"Kate, is this really okay? I don't want to intrude on your family. I swear I just need a day or two."

"Yes, it's actually good for us. We can finish up some planning. It'll make the first day back even easier. I'm glad they honored my request and let you stay in my room."

Bella hadn't given her teacher friend any information other than she and Seth had a misunderstanding and she really needed a breather. Kate admitted she had done the same thing to Reese before their first year of marriage was up. It so happened he was on his 3 day 12 hour shift rotation at work and he'd barely be there, if that made her feel more at ease. It did.

Kate and Bella managed to work on a lot of things that needed to be done before their first week of school. It was a nice distraction for her. They would have much easier days the week they went back before the kids got there. Rylan had grown so much since the beginning of the summer. Bella enjoyed spending time with him, and watching Kate care for him. She had been reading books, but that was nothing compared to spending real time with a real infant. She still had so much to learn, but Kate assured her most of it would come to her naturally. She wasn't completely convinced, but she did feel a lot more at ease since that first day she held him.

Kate had kept quite and didn't disturb her on her second morning. She woke up to find it was close to 10 AM. She never slept in that long, but she had been having difficulties falling asleep. She had been bombarded with texts and calls, she had ignored the majority of them since going to Kate's. Seth and his loose lips had spilled it all to the pack. They were all worried about her. Even Charlie called. She answered that one, and tried to reassure him everything would be fine. _Dammit Seth_, she hadn't wanted him to find out. She had calmed down a lot since the morning of the confession, but she had barely dealt with her feelings. Instead, she had kept busy and distracted. She had promised Kate it would be two days max and yet she was no where near ready to go back home to Seth. She wasn't sure how she felt about anything. Yes, she still loved him. Even though, their marriage started out under questionable circumstance, he was right; they had been very happy. It probably wouldn't make sense to anyone else, the way she missed Jacob or how much she still thought about him. Paul was still such an integral key to her overall happiness, as well. She most definitely was not going to divorce him over something like this. She had kept a secret and she had cheated...that's what she kept telling herself. Seth was not perfect, none of them were; they all had to find a way to make it work. One thing had come to her last night trying to fall asleep. Her feelings were not going to change. Seth was right; she loved all of them.

Bella got dressed and headed out to the kitchen to meet Kate and Rylan. She had already put on a kettle for them and she had made some breakfast.

"Sorry I slept so late."

"No trust me, sleep now whenever you can. It's fine. Did you rest good? Do you know what you want to do? You know you don't have to leave today."

"Thanks, I was starting to think that I'm still not sure about going home today. Maybe tomorrow. Are you sure Reese isn't saying I should leave?"

"No, he says you're super quiet, but Seth talked to him so it made him feel awkward."

"What? Seth must be going door to door in Forks. Ugh, what did he say?"

"I'm not sure."

Kate went to sit Rylan in his baby swing while they ate and drank their tea. She said sometimes the swing would put him back to sleep for his morning nap. Soon after that there was a knock at the door, so she hurried to answer it before it disturbed him.

"Oh Bella...it's for you," Kate exaggerated that statement.

Kate came tiptoeing back in the kitchen with a smirk on her face.

Bella mouthed,"Seth?"

Kate shook her head slowly. "I think you should go see for yourself. He says he's a friend and he's here to pick you up."

Bella sat her mug down, it could only be one person. She walked around the corner to see him standing in the entry.

"Get you stuff, hummingbird. I'm here to pick you up."

"I never told you to come pick me up, Paul."

"Well, I'm here, so come on."

"No, I'm not ready to go home today," she admitted.

"Good, cuz I'm taking you to my place. You're coming to stay with me."

There had been a lot of no's and yes you are traded between the two of them, but just as Paul had stated, she soon found that she was at his house.

"This is a mistake."

"Why?"

"Because, it isn't going to help things between me and Seth."

"Seth and Jake knew this day would come."

"How? What are you talking about?"

"I knew they'd both fuck up and now they have. First Jake, with his caveman routine and now Seth, that sneaky little bastard. You know I'll never treat you that way. I told them one day you'd see the light."

"Paul there is no light I'm seeing. I had an argument with my husband."

"Sure, a simple misunderstanding and you're going to forgive and forget any minute. Please, it was a game changer, hummingbird and you know it. Now I'm up to bat and you and I are finally going get a few things straight."

_**~Thanks so much for reading. **_

_**Preview: What could possibly happen with Bella living with Paul for a short while? What will be Jacob's reaction to all that has been going on while he was completely consumed with the twins? How is this imperfect square going to make it all work? **_


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 43

Bella convinced him that she would much rather hang out and find something fun to do as opposed to redefining their entire relationship. He relented and did whatever she wanted. He ended up taking her out for the grilled chicken sandwich she was craving. He got into his personal movie collection when they returned and pulled out _The Bourne Identity._ She had never seen any of those movies. Seth sent her a text saying he loved her and could they please talk soon.

**i love you, but need more time**

Bella grabbed a hot shower first. She decided to make popcorn while Paul was in the shower next. She ended up tipping the bowl over and spilling a small bit of it when he strolled out of the bathroom wrapped in a navy blue towel.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting ready to watch a movie with you, remember? Do you already have that pregnancy brain thing going on?"

"No, I mean why aren't you wearing any clothes?"

"Because I didn't carry any with me to the bathroom. This is my house, I'm use to walking around undressed."

"But I'm here, can't you be a little more modest?"

"Modest? I thought you knew me by now. I've never been modest even before I was a wolf, sweetheart and I wore the towel, at least." He continued to parade himself around the room, he was looking through a drawer for something to wear obviously, but he was taking his sweet time. She adverted her eyes to a speck on the wall. When she looked back, he was watching her, "Okay, you win, I can see it's too tempting. I'll go get dressed so we can get started."

"Started?" with slight alarm in her voice.

"The movie, hummingbird. Damn, you do have that scatterbrain thing, don't you?"

He soon stepped out of the bathroom again in a pair of gym shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt. They got comfortable on the loveseat and Bella quickly got into the movie. Once Paul stopped hogging all the popcorn and put the bowl down, he threw his arm around her. At first, she was comfy on his shoulder, but eventually her head rested on his chest. He made the suggestion she could lie down in his lap if she promised not to fall asleep.

"No, this is too exciting. I'm not going to fall asleep, I have to see what happens."

"Then we are going to have to watch the other 2 before that happens; it's a trilogy."

"Oh, well I'm not up for an all-nighter, this one will have to satisfy me tonight," she innocently said.

Paul placed a pillow in his lap for her head, "Jeez, hummingbird...kill it with the innuendos, will you. You're distracting me from the movie."

"I...I didn't make any innuendos," she looked up to see his pained expression. She slapped at his chest. "Stop it...you're messing with me." She let her head fall back to the pillow so that she could again pay attention to the movie.

"And there she goes again."

"Quiet, I'm trying to watch this."

After those few minutes of playful banter, they stopped talking and concentrated on the movie again. If the plot hadn't been so exciting she might have very well fallen asleep. Resting against Paul was one of the most comfortable places on earth. He was warm and always knew how to touch her. It was soothing. She was the one that found his hand and brought it across her body so that she felt secure in his hold. She rested her hand over his. He started to rub imaginary lines across her side that ended close to her navel. He soon lifted her tank top so his hand was skin to skin with the swell of her belly. The baby started to kick like always. The movie soon came to a close and they made a plan to watch the next one the following night. Did they both assume she was staying another night? She really hadn't given it any thought.

He still had his hand on her and she struggled to get up because she was finally ready to have some deeper conversation with him.

She sat up and shifted around so that she was facing him.

"Why do you always do that?"

"What, touch your growing stomach? I don't know I'm drawn to it because I know it's part of you."

"I figured that out, but why do you always have to touch me on my bare skin?"

His expression was very serious, they weren't joking around any longer. "You like it that way, don't you?"

"Um..." she paused.

"Honest answers only, hummingbird. It's a deeper connection and the man and the wolf both crave that with you. It makes the time without you more bearable. Does that make more sense? And you like it, I think it has the same affect on you as it does me."

"Yes, I understand what you're talking about and I like it. Your touch feels good...it always has."

"Can I ask you a question now?"

"Sure."

"Why did you come home with me?"

"You didn't give me much choice," she huffed.

"Come on, Bella...no bullshit tonight. You do what you want. Why did you come?"

She chewed on her lip, but he pulled it out because he wanted to hear her say the truth. "I wanted to be with you," she eventually admitted.

"Thanks," he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"I always want to be with you even though I know that isn't possible. That's where the touch comes into play. It makes it easier, tides me over, but I've been wondering for a few weeks. I guess since that story. What if we gave a little more of ourselves?"

"Paul, I'm married."

"Yes, and even though he deserves to be kicked to the curb, you aren't going to do that because of the baby."

"It isn't just the baby, I love him. We both made mistakes."

"Whatever, but since you're being open and honest, tell me something about the day you were with Jacob."

"Why? I'm not going to talk about that with you."

"I don't want details, please give me some credit. I want you tell me if you regretted it."

"Of course, I did. I cheated on my husband and now I'm pregnant and it might be Jake's. Seth will never be able to forget that if it turns out to be the outcome."

"Remove your guilt, for a second. Don't think about that part...do you regret what happened with Jacob?"

"I...I," she couldn't finish.

"You don't because you love him and that's what people in love do, they express their love for one another physically, emotionally; it doesn't always have to be sex. I think something bigger than any of us is going on and I want to be able to express my love for you without being a creep. I think we should get it out in the open: me, Jake and Seth."

It was official, Paul had lost it. "Are you crazy, what do you intend to do, ask Seth for privileges with me? I need to fix what's broken, not smash it in a million pieces."

"Could you please trust me? I know you have issues with trust, but things are changing. Jacob is different and Seth stopped himself from following the path he was on. I'm not going crazy and I'm not going to go too far."

"Paul, why would you want to put yourself through this? It sounds even more painful." She felt tears well up inside her eyes. "Love is supposed to be happy, why is it always hurting us?"

"I think you already know why. Quit thinking about what everyone else thinks or what you think you should do and start accepting it."

"Accept what?"

"Hummingbird, we love each other. I'm never going to want anyone else."

"But," she wanted to make excuses about how it was some type of deep friendship love and how she wanted him to be with someone that could give all of herself to him. That is what she usually did. Every time she said it, intellectually she meant it; but deep down, she was scared of losing whatever it was that they had. She held both of his hands and stared into his eyes. "Paul, what about your dream, the children you want? You can't further tie yourself to me. No woman is ever going to accept that."

"You know how sometimes I tell you that you're really dense? It's because you are. Those children are yours and mine. There is no mystery Momma out there. I dropped a pretty big hint when I said my daughter was beautiful like her mother."

"I don't see how that will ever be possible."

"Maybe not now, but one day for some reason, it will happen," he insisted. "I thought it was a fantasy my mind was creating and then you had Billy read that story. I finally felt validation for all the ways I had been feeling. We all thought with the Cullen's gone, this pack would soon end, but now the twins have phased and the dreams I have are very vivid. I bet if she was honest, your old witch friend has had some visions too. Something is coming, maybe far off in the future, but we need to start preparing now."

"If what you say is true, there are much stronger women on this reservation and I'm sure they would be proud to bring forth the future pack. Kim is dying to be pregnant. Now Quil is dating. Collin and Brady have started to settle down a little, maybe they'll find their perfect matches. I'm sure Embry dates as well. He's so quite, he hasn't mentioned anyone, but he probably has his pick of the ladies."

"I've been meaning to ask about him. He sure is Mr. Volunteer lately. Has he tried anything out of the ordinary?"

"No, are you serious? See, it proves what you are trying to promote will never work. You're jealous of Embry just because he's nice to me."

"I bite my tongue and try my hardest to put any jealous feelings aside when it pertains to Seth and Jake, but I'm not going to allow any other man to weasel his way in. It's the quiet ones you have to worry about."

"Well, stop worrying. He's a perfect gentleman and a friend. Paul."

"Hmm?"

"I'm not dismissing all that you've said. To be honest, I still don't know what it all means or why these feelings exist between us. I thought the story was beautiful when you imagined your children and I thought about it later. I was actually jealous of that woman, and then I mentally chastised myself for being so selfish. I've always insisted I loved you like a best friend, but when you and are together; I sometimes forget about every other thing going on in the world. I didn't admit that to myself or you, but I do love you."

"I'll take it, hummingbird." She felt the change occur. Something was about to happen that they couldn't take back. He started out slow. He continued to sit there on the loveseat, holding her hands and taking deep breaths as he waited while he watched her. Maybe he was gauging her reaction to the fact he dreamed of their children together.

He seemed totally convinced that would be their reality one day but how would she ever bring that up with Seth. "Oh yeah I'm taking a break from us so Paul can impregnate me."

It didn't seem plausible but she looked deeper into his eyes when he released her hands so that he could explore her. He was seeking that form of touch that he claimed he needed. It really wasn't fair to only categorize it as his need. She realized how antsy she was at times when she'd go for days without seeing him and then as soon as he hugged her those anxious feelings died down. He rubbed up and down her arms, across the small of her back and he was starting to touch her thighs.

She had to speak up. "Paul, I'm supposed to be sorting out my relationship with Seth."

"I know hummingbird, you're vulnerable. I'm not asking for asking for everything. Don't worry, I don't intend to peak in your oven while you're baking another man's cake."

They had been so intense the past 20 minutes, but she could not help giggling after he said that.

"What?" She laughed. "That's hysterical. I wasn't planning on letting you in my oven. Oh my god, Paul. Do you honestly think after all that's on my mind I could even think about sex?"

"Well...give me five minutes over there on my bed and I'm sure I could get the thought to cross your mind."

She held her breath and closed her eyes. He had a gift for seductive behavior. He could go from serious to joking to sensual in a few seconds. It was evident how he'd been a successful ladies man all those years. He could probably charm the pants off a nun or whatever it was that they wore.

He broke the silence, "Oh I stand corrected give me five seconds cuz you're already thinking about it."

"No I'm not."

"Let's go to bed," he tried pulling her arms so they could get up together.

She resisted, "I don't think we should just yet."

"Why? We've slept in the same bed before."

"I know but after all the confessions. I'm not so sure it's wise, tonight."

"Who do you not trust, me or you?"

"Both,"

"Kiss me goodnight." They were still sitting close on the loveseat.

She leaned over to kiss his cheek like she routinely did when they were meeting up or parting ways, but he pulled back a little.

"No, stop" his palm cupped the side of her face. I want us to express our love the way we feel not because anyone else might judge us. I want to feel your lips on mine again. I've thought about it so many times since that night. Maybe stopping us was my biggest mistake."

She took a deep breath and held still. She wasn't brave enough to kiss him like that again, but then again she wasn't strong enough to keep him from trying. If he leaned over a few inches, he'd be there and she wasn't going to stop him. His hand moved to the back of her neck and he kissed her right cheek and then the left. He drug his nose along her jaw after the second peck. He had succeeded. She was puddy in his hands. Truer words were never spoken to him. When they were together, he truly could make her forget the rest of the world. The next second, his warm mouth covered hers. It wasn't full on passion. Instead, their kisses for one another were soft and sweet. It was a testament of their love. She knew they were not going to go too far. Paul was true to his word. He pulled back and she didn't resist standing with him that time. She walked to his bed while he got the lights. He slid under the covers with her and they faced one another.

"Thank you," he told her.

"For kissing you?"

"No, for loving me back."

She wondered if he had ever felt like anyone had ever loved him back. The feeling overwhelmed her. She snuggled up to him and then realized why skin to skin was so important to him. She pulled his shirt halfway up and he took it the rest of the way off. He in turn pulled hers up to her breast but didn't try and pull it all the way off. She placed a kiss to his heart before scooting further up so they could once again express their love for one another. They kissed in the dark for a long time. She had no idea how long. He was satisfied with the kissing and touching. The touching that went on was intimate without being sexual. No one's hands were reaching below the waist band. He didn't even grab a boob once. They were human and she knew they were both turned on enough to do more, but it wasn't like that. Once, when she was rubbing his back and her hand journeyed to his hip, he whispered. "I swear if you touch my junk, all bets are off. I won't give a damn about restraint anymore."

"I...I wasn't, I swear."

That was enough to slow them down again. He held her against his side. They laid there listening to each other's breathing.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he kissed her head. "But now I keep thinking about you touching me."

"I told you that isn't what I was going to do."

"Sure..I believe the thought never crossed your mind. We better go to sleep. It's been a couple of hours."

"No, I don't think it's been that long."

"Oh yes, it has. You've been making out with me a good two hours." He tickled her side.

Paul proceeded to give her one more long goodnight kiss. He stopped abruptly and rose up in the bed. "Dammit."

"What?"

"I just heard a damn wolf howl. I have to go."

"Okay, I'll be fine."

"Yeah, I know but I don't want to leave you and I've got a lot of thoughts going through my mind. I don't want them in there."

"You're good with protecting them, I thought."

"Normally yes, but tonight wasn't exactly normal for us."

"I'm going to tell Seth," she added.

"Good, but he doesn't need to see it from me. Shit, there it was again. I have to go." He gave her one last smack on the lips and left. She was left alone to think about it all. It was never a good thing to be alone with her thoughts.

She trusted Paul once he got with the pack, he wouldn't open up his thoughts about her. However, she meant it, she was telling Seth that she and Paul needed more. She didn't know how to word it, but all she knew was showing him and telling him how she truly felt changed her so much that night. It was like all the bubbles of anxiety she carried around popped. The closeness did make her feel better and just like he stated there wasn't any guilt involved. She felt for the first time that she did have enough love for all 3 of them. Paul was easily convinced, since it was his idea in the first place. Now she would have to convince the other two a compromise could be found.

Bella felt the heat from him when he climbed in the bed behind her.

"Hey, is everything alright?" she asked in a gravelly voice.

"Yes, they shifted back."

"Oh, that's great."

"Yeah, we practiced with them. Jake's making them stay one more night with him. Damn, that Trevor is a little shit. He keeps pushing Jake asking why and shit like that. I have a feeling he's going to be a pain in his ass for years to come."

"He'll probably calm down when he realizes Jacob is only doing what's best for him."

"Did you sleep?"

"Yes."

"Good, I might get 2 hours before work."

"Oh, do you have to go?"

"Yes, I'm in charge until Jake gets done on twin watch."

"Okay," she gave him a kiss. "Goodnight, Paul."

He nuzzled into her neck, "I could make it on an hour if you want to...you know."

"No, sleep; growing a human here and I'm exhausted."

Paul placed one final kiss to her shoulder before the two of the succumbed to sleep.

Bella kept busy around Paul's that day. She had heard from him and knew when to expect him, so she got dinner ready. They settled down for the second _Bourne_ movie. It felt like they were a real couple, but it wasn't the first time she had felt that way. When the movie was over, she told him what she had decided.

"Paul, I think I'm going home tomorrow."

"Are you sure? I can go get more of your stuff. I want you to stay longer."

"I start back to work Monday. I need to start talking to Seth again."

He looked down at the floor. She lifted his chin. "I'm sorry, did we make a mistake last night?"

"No, never...I told you I knew you'd go back. I wanted longer, I'll admit that."

They went to bed that night. She gave him a kiss goodnight. He rubbed her stomach, brushed her hair with his hand. They were quiet, but content. It was different from the night before but the same feelings still persisted. She needed him as much as he needed her.

Paul wasn't in as big of a rush the next morning. He told her Jake was going to be in the garage that morning. They had a nice breakfast together. "Are you going as soon as I leave?"

"No, I don't think so. I need to text him, find out his schedule. I might take a little more time here, figure out what I'm going to say. Is that alright?"

"Yes, but let me know if I'm coming home to you or an empty house."

She walked him to the door and kissed and hugged him goodbye.

"Love you, hummingbird."

"I love you. It's not goodbye forever, you know?"

"Yes, I know. It will never be goodbye forever with us."

Bella cleaned up a little. She collected her things and packed them back in her bag. She was just about to send Seth that text or maybe she should call when there was a knock at the door. She went to answer it and was surprised to see her husband standing on the porch.

"Can we talk?"

"Yes, I was just about to call."

"I'm on the way to work, I don't have long, but I wanted to know if we could have dinner or something tonight. I get off at five."

"Seth, I'm packing up to come home."

"You are?" she heard the relief in his voice.

"Yes."

He had kept some distance between them, but after hearing that she was coming back to him, he stepped closer to her. He had walked inside the door. It had been days since she'd laid eyes on him. Their parting words had been tense. He hurt her and disappointed her, but she missed him. Seeing him there confirmed those feelings.

Bella opened her arms to him and he pulled her close against his body. He held her for a few minutes. He stepped back again with a strained look on his face.

"Damn, did you bathe in his scent?"

"Seth, I've been sharing his home."

"And his bed."

"Yes, but it's not like that. I'm not having sex with him."

"Well, gee thanks. The way you said that sounds like you're making a huge sacrifice."

"Seth, I don't want to get into this now. You said you don't have long."

"What's happening Bella? Do you want to be with him now?"

"I don't want to leave you."

"That wasn't exactly an answer to my question."

"I don't know what is happening, but he and I want something a little different. We're all going to have to sit down and talk about it, but first I'm committed to fixing what happened between us."

"So I'm still your priority?"

"Yes."

"Because of the baby?"

"No, that's very important; but I married you before the baby ever existed."

"Under false pretenses."

"I don't see it that way."

Seth shifted his weight back and forth, he looked at her. His eyes traveled to her stomach and he reached out to place his hand there. "Is everything okay with the baby? Are you eating, sleeping, feeling okay? I've been worried about the stress."

"The sleep was hard at first, but I finally caught up."

"You know, I make enough money. I'm worried about everything that has happened up until now. It might be too much of a strain. You don't have to go back to work."

"I want to and it's only 4 months. I need to stay busy."

"Okay," he looked very determined.

"Thanks Seth. I'll see you tonight."

"I mean okay, whatever you need with Paul and Jacob. I'll figure out how to deal with it. I can't lose you."

"Seth, I'm not even sure what I'm asking for yet. We have a lot of time to talk it through. You aren't even agreeing to anything specific."

"I know, but I'm saying I love you enough to do what needs to be done. None of this has been normal from day one, and it's time I stop pretending otherwise."

Seth left her after his declaration. Was he only saying what he thought she wanted to hear? She wasn't even sure what she and Paul wanted. Yes, she enjoyed being free with her affections with him. If they kept it up though, would he need to go a step further? Then there was Jacob. He was where it all began. From that first moment in the airport, he lit a spark inside of her. It was the flame that finally extinguished any feelings she had kept for Edward. He was her healer and her heartbreaker, possibly the father of her unborn child. She wondered what would happen to the other two relationships if she and Jake reconnected.

Someone was at the door again. She thought maybe Seth had come back to tell her forget all he had previously said. It was crazy and he changed his mind again. It was crazy and she wouldn't blame him if that was the case, but when she swung open the door; see gasped to see her visitor, "Jake."

"Hey Bells, I was wondering if you weren't busy; could you take a ride with me? We have a lot to talk about it."

"Sure, let me get my water first. I'm not busy, I'm packed to go home. Would you mind loading my stuff in my car, so I'll be ready to go when we get back?" Jacob did that for her and she got in his car with him. She was going to take a drive with Jacob. She had just been contemplating all the things they needed to discuss when he showed up. He started to drive away from Paul's little house, and then it hit her. Wasn't a drive with Jacob what got her into this entire predicament in the first place?

**_~Thanks for reading. _**

**_A/N I struggled with this one a lot for several reasons. Trying to come to terms that this is sort of a poly story, but actually it's not. I hope to continue to confuse you all as much as I confuse myself. I reached my 600th review from a guest. First, it was an unflattering one that I accidentally (on purpose) deleted, but then I got a super one from a great guest reader. Thanks so much! Don't panic if you don't hear from me for a little while; I really have to get some RL issues sorted out. _**


	46. Chapter 46

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognizable characters.**_

Chapter 44

"Where are we going?" she asked as they pulled onto the main road of the reservation.

"The cliffs."

"I don't know, Jake, I can't afford to slip and fall."

"Did I ever let you fall before?"

"No, but I slipped plenty of times."

"And I always caught you. Besides I'm carrying you."

"No, you can't. I'm pregnant, I'm heavier now," she insisted.

"Yeah, right...that extra 15 pounds might do me in."

"10."

"You've only gained 10 pounds? How many weeks are you again? Are you eating enough?"

"Yes, I eat very healthy and almost 20 weeks. How did you know it's measured in weeks?"

"Because I've been reading up on lots of stuff since I found out."

"Oh," she didn't know what else to say about that. He didn't know if he was going to be a father or not. It made perfect sense that he would want to be more involved.

They made it to the dirt road where they normally parked. She got out of the car and Jacob did just as he said he would. He grabbed her legs and pulled them out from under her to carry her all the way to the top of their special place. They had made so many nice memories in that exact spot. She'd read poetic passages or cheesy romantic lines from her favorite books and he would draw amazing sketches that he'd share with her. It was hard to believe it had almost been a year since he started bringing her up there. He put her on the ground when they got to the clearing. She looked towards the plot of land he had purchased wanting to see it from the other vantage point.

"I guess you've been too busy to start construction?"

"Yeah, but next week I've got a crew coming over."

"Oh, what kind of a house are you building?"

"I have the plans, they're kinda beat up, if you want to see them."

She opened the paper he pulled from his back pocket. She wasn't completely sure how to read blueprints, but it seemed like a large place. "Jake, this is a big house."

"I know, I kinda decided on them before everything happened and I figured I'd just go with it anyway. I'm moving my dad in kicking and screaming if I have to, because I have the downstairs designed to be more accessible for him. The little red house needs lots of work and it's never been wheel chair friendly."

"Oh, that's so great of you. He might put up a fuss but I bet he'll change his mind. How many bedrooms are there upstairs?"

"Four," he looked more intently when said that.

She found a soft spot to sit down on. It felt strange talking about a house he was building that had been planned with her in mind. She didn't know what else to say about it.

"How ya really doing, Bells?"

"Okay, like I said, I'm going home."

"Yeah, but how are you?"

"I'm better, how much do you know?"

"I've been pretty preoccupied but I know everything."

"Oh..."

"Bella, I was furious, but he acted out of desperation. I've been there, so who am I to judge? I mean, we all know what I did that day at Charlie's when I panicked you were getting more serious with Seth. I practically forced myself on you."

"Jake, no. You could never do that. Anytime I was with you, I wanted it too."

"I'm not saying how you should feel. You're the one that had your privacy invaded. I believe he really means it when he says he's sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me the truth that morning when you first found me at Seth's?"

"Would it have changed anything?"

"I don't know," she answered truthfully.

"Hadn't I already told you I'd break the imprint and you didn't believe me, so I figured why tell you something you might not believe in the first place. You made your choice. I wanted out of there as soon as possible."

His words weren't angry, but they hurt her deeply. She couldn't believe as much as she loved him, that he felt that way. She really had failed their love. "I'm sorry."

"I've moved past it."

Sure, he had. What did she expect him to do? Pine away for her for all time? She had to get use to the idea that Jacob would probably meet someone else one day.

"Bells, I mean I've moved past that hurt. It isn't what you think."

"What else do you want to talk about?" It seemed like a good idea to change the subject then.

"Well, I sat down with Dad last night and I read the legend of the second wife."

"Oh."

"Yeah, now I know the full story about why the pack was freaking out that day I returned."

"So, some story, huh?"

"Yes, I'm not sure, Bells. Too much of a coincidence to completely write it off as ancient history. Paul had just left my office before I came to pick you up."

"Oh,well...the story really affected him."

"Yeah, he told me some stuff."

"About the two of us?"

"Yes," he turned away from her when he said it. God, how did it make her look? How forthcoming had Paul been? She wanted to say, it's not what it seems, but wasn't it just that, so she ended up giving one of the lamest reasons in history.

"Oh, well it's complicated. I have to work on my marriage first."

"Complicated, huh? Is that your Facebook relationship status?"

"No, you know I don't have a Facebook, Jake and I wouldn't share my dilemma with anyone. I mean what would Charlie say? How would the parents at Forks Elementary react to me? I'd be labeled as the kinky Kindergarten teacher."

"That kinda has a nice ring to it." He was enjoying himself at her expense, they both laughed a little. "So you and Paul..." was either a question or a statement, she wasn't sure.

"Are close, same as always. I can't explain it, but we aren't going to start sleeping together. Is that what everyone thinks? Seth, told me whatever I need. Surely, that wasn't what he meant. I never asked for that."

"Good, because I want no part of what Paul's proposing. I want you to know that."

"Of course, I...I wasn't asking," she stuttered. She felt extremely awkward. Did Jake think she was asking him for something? He asked her to talk, not the other way around. What in the world had Paul told him? Hopefully not, _Bella's up for multiple partners now_. She never said that. She really wanted what happened between her and Paul to be just that, no one else's business.

"Bella, I would never be satisfied with a piece of you; only part-time...it would never work. You want to be married to Seth, so I'm staying out of it. It doesn't mean my feelings have changed. Whatever Paul and Seth think they're figuring out, I'm discouraging it. I told you a long time ago, it isn't possible for us to share. I have a new rule: no fighting among ourselves. I won't allow it under any circumstance. We have a common cause; we work together at all times, never against each other. We did exactly the opposite for too long when those imprints took over our lives."

Bella understood that and she had so much respect for Jacob. He had grown by leaps and bounds since she first met him. He truly had accepted his alpha status. He put the good of the pack and the tribe ahead of his own needs. It still hurt to look at him sometimes. Those feelings still existed and she had no idea what to do with them other than bury down in the deepest cavern of her heart. However, when he was in close proximity, she felt like he would excavate them with his gaze alone.

She wasn't sure if he even had the time to think about any of the things that ran through her mind. She knew he'd been busy reinventing the pack. She tried to convince herself that Jacob would be so much better if he found a way to move on. He was successful, single and gorgeous; he could find someone, she knew that. One day, he'd move that woman in his beautiful home and she would erase all memories that it was supposed to be her house with him, originally.

Jacob asked her the question she was never expecting from him. "Bella, the reason I really needed to speak with you is to ask what are we going to all do if your baby breaks the curse and one or more of us imprints on you?"

"What?" she was completely blown away that he knew. "You know? How? Kelsee said she wasn't going to tell you."

"Well, she did and it all makes sense. I have an imprint, the real one, the perfect mate for me once this curse breaks. You need to realize I'm convinced it's you, but I have no idea what will happen if it all comes true. I can't decide whether or not to share this news with my pack. Seth doesn't do well when he panics. Worse yet, is the possibility; that he and Paul also imprint just like Walela. I say I won't share, but would that force me? Could they fight it? I'd tell them to. It's so convoluted, Bells. What if the baby was Seth's and you're my imprint? This hasn't even begun to sort itself out and you know it. I know you had your comfortable first few months of marriage, but get prepared for what could happen."

"I also have to face the real possibility that I'm no one's imprint. I could lose any of you, even though we don't know who else will imprint. Thinking that Seth is one of them has always been in the back of my mind."

"I didn't need it to love you. I want you to know that."

"I did or I do, I guess." She took a deep breath and asked the question she already knew the answer to, but she wanted to hear it from his lips. "Jacob, do you want this baby to be yours?"

"Yes, more than anything. Does that make me a horrible person? I've made peace with Seth, but I'm still selfish enough to want that permanent bond with you."

She had to answer him honestly, "I use to say...please let it be Seth's. I know that would be the easiest outcome, but all I care about is having a healthy baby now. I'll be thrilled either way, Jacob. You'll be a great father, but you have to know he would be also."

Jacob added he'd protect her child and be a part of it's life either way. It was almost the exact words Seth had told her.

"Taking care of the twins was a full time job for a few days, I heard."

"Yep, you don't know the half of it. I get that they were scared, but Trevor and I couldn't have butted heads any worse than we did. Most days, I wanted to give that brat a spanking. I swear it was probably worse than what Lahote was like for Sam."

"Jake, he's only 13. That's just a boy."

"Well, he isn't a boy anymore." That fact made her sad, but Jacob knew better than anyone. "He can't be and I'm sorry about that. It's just the way it is. It happened to all of us, he isn't special."

"When I met him, I thought he and Jordan were both exceptional and well mannered."

"What do you mean you met him?"

"Yeah, after I saw the picture of them, I went home with Joseph one day and met them."

"Who said you could do that and why am I just now hearing about it?"

"No one said and I didn't tell anyone. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is you knew they were going to shift soon. You can't go around putting yourself in volatile situations." He stood up and walked around. She'd made him mad. Why was it always so easy for her to make him angry? She followed him to the cliff's edge.

"Weren't you the one complaining about my privacy violations? Why should I have to clear every single one of my decisions with a man? This is the 21st century, Jake. Just so you know, I also left a message with Joseph, I'm having them over next time the pack meets at me house. They need to be included, they're family now."

"The hell you are. They have a long way to go before I trust them in the house with you."

"Ugh, I thought you'd changed. You're still sort of a control freak."

"No, you're impulsive and you get yourself into trouble easily, because you don't think."

"I'm ready to leave now. It does no good to stand here and argue with you. You weren't here for three months. I found my niche with the pack. I know what they need when they aren't on official duty. We all have a system and it works well."

"Whatever you say...Mom," his voiced dripping with sarcasm.

"Stop Jake," she was feeling annoyed but also something else. It had been awhile since anyone else had challenged her. She'd grown accustomed to a lot of yes men, but that wasn't Jacob. It was a little exciting if she was truly honest with herself, but she'd never admit that.

"By the way, you're too close to the edge, back up."

"No I'm not. You're closer than me and you still aren't at the edge," she argued.

"Well I'm stronger and have faster reflexes. I'm not a klutz and I'm not knocked up, so back up."

She refused. She didn't move her feet. She was tired of his insinuations that she would put her baby in danger. First, he was overreacting about the twins and then about going too close the edge of the cliff. He was the one that insisted on going up there in the first place. What had been the point of going to the very spot where she probably fell in love with him? She couldn't be sure, maybe it had happened for him in the same place as well. He was the one that said it's all or nothing for him. He talked about the big house he's building and she already felt like it was his way of assuring her he's going on with his life. He should, of course, that isn't what she was fretting over. Well, it wasn't worry exactly, just because it still felt awkward didn't mean she couldn't accept it.

He took two steps forward, but it still had no affect on her. She wasn't going to back up.

"Bells, what are you trying to prove? That you don't have to listen to me? I'm not being a macho man just because. I'm trying to protect you. Jordan and Trevor are young wolves, they could be dangerous. We know better now, it isn't like when Sam was left alone to figure it all for himself."

Jacob was standing ridiculously close to her, but she still didn't budge.

"But isn't it true, when they're calm and at ease with a situation, they have more control? What better situation could there be than to try them out in my home. They'll be surrounded by pack, I'll take care of them. I'll cook them a hearty meal. I won't judge how much they have to consume. I can offer to give them a haircut if they need it. I'll treat them with dignity and like real people. They'll feel accepted and will be relaxed that they have a place to go where they can be themselves. You know it will never be the same with their school friends. If you tell them to stay outside, won't that make them feel more like animals than they probably already do?"

Jacob wiped his face and let out some type of growling noise she didn't care for, but she was pretty sure some of what she'd said made sense to him. Getting him to admit it was another thing all together.

"I'll think about it, but not until I practice with them a few more weeks and maybe not both at once."

"That's a good compromise, I never said tomorrow. I told you a couple of weeks when I brought it up."

"Why are you still standing here?"

She didn't answer him. He knew why she couldn't move at that point. It was a matter of principal.

He took one more step forward until he was toe to toe with her. "Now what?"

"I don't know, but I wanted you to see, I wasn't that close to the edge. Now I guess we go, but I want to walk down myself. Going downhill isn't as taxing."

"What if I just leave you alone and let you figure out yourself?"

"Fine, I know the way. What's your problem Jake? I thought we were having a normal adult conversation in the beginning. Why did you start acting this way?"

"Because, you...you infuriate the hell out of me sometimes. Like right now." Jacob's hands moved at lightening speed, she didn't even see them coming. They grabbed both sides of her waist and he closed the gap between them until her abdomen was flush against his.

"Is this how you wanted it to go? Is this what you and Paul do? Express your love and affection for one another without crossing the line, but then you want to go back to your little white house...to Seth; your stability. Is that what game you have going right now?"

"It isn't a game, Jake. You have to know that my feelings are real."

"And you wanted me to join in, right? So you could have it all,"

"No, I never asked you to join in. Jesus, you're making it sound like an orgy. It's not like that."

"You're damn right it's not, because I wouldn't let another man touch you in front of me...ever."

"I don't want you to touch me again," she lied.

He started laughing at her. "I already am, Bells and you're lying. I always know when you're lying. I know everything there is to know about you because deep down, we both know, you're still mine."

He didn't give her another chance to speak. Jacob did what he said he couldn't do, he kissed her and it wasn't slow or gradual. He kissed her like he'd been there before. She felt like she'd slipped off that cliff he'd previously been bitching about, but what really had occurred was he'd lifted her up and walked over to the soft grass where they always sat down. He went to his knees with her and guided her to her back. He stayed off to her side, but his mouth and his hands were everywhere. She was kissing him with the same assertion. He had lit her entire body on fire with his heat. She knew without a second thought, she wanted him to take all her clothes off and join with her body again. She swore to herself she had banished that fantasy from existence, but it lived again. What did she have to do to make it a reality? Beg or plead? She'd do it. She reached for the button his shorts, there wasn't a quicker way to let him know what she wanted than to go for it, but his hand grabbed hers.

He was breathing wild and erratic, but he held tight to her hand and fell to his back. "No, we can't."

"I want to," she confessed.

"I know and so do I, but this proves everything I said. Are you willing to meet Seth tonight and tell him you can't stay?"

"Jake, I..." she had no real answer. It would have been the most likely time for her to do something like that. No one would blame her in the end for not forgiving Seth, but for some unexplained reason, she didn't feel like that was the right thing to do. They shared vows. It wasn't right to forget them so soon. She'd resented Renee most her life for giving up so quickly on Charlie. She didn't want to be like her, she wanted to be better. She doubt better was the type of woman that just begged her ex lover to have sex with her again the day she was supposed to return to her husband, but it was still the way she felt.

Jacob sat up and braced himself on his knees. "I thought one day after the imprint was gone, I'd bring you up here and we'd throw down a blanket, maybe have a picnic. Then we'd properly christen this place as ours. It's hard to accept that can never happen." He touched her face and stared into her eyes.

"I still love you so much, Jacob."

"I love you too, Bells."

"What should I do?" she was asking him for the answer to her problems.

"I don't know, honey," he kissed her sweetly on her lips again. "Let's do what we have to do right now to survive. Maybe when the baby is born, the choices will seem more clear."

Bella stood up with Jacob and straightened out her clothes. She took one last look off the side towards the plot of land that would always represent their unfilled future. She didn't utter a word of protest when he picked her up to carry her back down to the car. She held on tightly around his neck worrying it might be the last time she was that close to him. When they got back to his Challenger she admitted, "I don't think I can ever go back up there."

"Me neither, Bells...me neither."

* * *

Bella was sitting on the bed in their bedroom waiting on Seth. He got off at 5, but he sent her a text that he'd pick up some food, so they could talk and not worry about anything else.

She was pretty quiet and let Seth do most of the talking. She had to remind herself how their marriage had been. They had a lot of fun together, but they quickly settled into a routine. She knew it was a comfort zone of sorts. It was actually the pack coming around that would shake things up a bit.

She finally blurted out, "I spent part of the day with Jacob."

"Oh, how'd that go?"

"I think it's best if he and I don't spend time alone with one another, to be perfectly honest."

"Okay, did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Seth, you know he and I have deep feelings for one another. I get lost in the way he makes me feel. I'm not going to deny the feelings any longer to you, but I can't be with him like that. I married you."

"Were you going to have sex with him?"

"I was tempted to," she cringed. "He wouldn't allow it. Are you sure you can stay with me? This isn't merely a trust issue anymore. I don't know what category to put it in."

"And Paul?"

"He makes me happy, but I can refrain from taking that step with him. However, he's convinced I will have his children one day...that's children, Seth, more than one of them. How will we all handle that?"

"I have no idea, but I'm ready to take it day by day. I hope that doesn't make me look pathetic."

"Of course, not. I love you. You know that."

"I was thinking we should all meet again with the council soon, maybe you could convince Kelsee into helping us out a little more. Jacob says he has something important to discuss with all us tomorrow."

"Oh," she assumed he was going to talk more about the curse.

"Do you feel weird being back here after all that's happened?" Seth asked as he held her hands in his.

She looked around the room and at him before answering what she was feeling. "No, not at all...I feel like I'm home."

_**~ Thanks for reading.**_

_**Surprised myself and got this ready sooner than expected. I'm actually way ahead now, so I won't have to make you wait too long between updates. This one and the next are "life goes on" type chapters, but all the ones after that have one or more huge events taking place. They are all outlined and planned now; 8 more to go after this if I counted right. **_


	47. Chapter 47

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer is sole owner of Twilight and all recognizable characters, I own nothing.**_

Chapter 45

_November_

Bella was looking forward to a week off from school. She had made it to her third trimester. She was again hosting Thanksgiving. This time it was going to be a much grander event. Some of the council members, and all the pack and their families were attending. They were going to have the meal at the council hall, there was no way she could fit all those people in her and Seth's house. She had a lot of people helping with the food and Kim was in charge of decorations. Things had been going well overall. Her pregnancy was textbook according to her OB. She had overcome those fainting issues and her slow weight gain. It was hard to believe that she, the forever queen of clumsiness and medical mishaps, did so well with pregnancy. It was actually very enjoyable for her. Despite all the emotional aspects that constantly lingered with her marriage and her relationships, she had been happy being pregnant. She did, however, feel huge, but all the guys still insisted she was tiny. They said she looked like she had one of those balloons on a rubber band under her shirt was the only difference.

Trevor and Jordan were settled in just like all the rest of them. She thought back to how Jacob waited a little longer than she wanted, but after about 3 weeks, sure enough he brought them over one at a time. First Jordan for an hour or so alone and then Trevor, since he was known to be a little more volatile. Jacob stayed close, but he finally allowed her to sit with them and make them feel at ease. She fed them that first time and made plans to cut their hair next visit. They were very appreciative, "Thanks Mrs. Clearwater," they both said as they stood up to leave.

She told them it was fine if they wanted to call her that or Bella was good.

"Brady says to call you 'Mom' but our mother told us not to," Trevor added.

"I understand, that's more of a joke than anything, call me whichever name suits you both. I'm so glad you were able to hang out today."

Jacob took them to the door and told them to go run. He stopped to tell her thanks.

Bella smirked, "Told you so."

Jacob shook his head in disbelief, "Yeah, you know my pack better than I do." She smiled at the pleasant memory.

Seth had been the one to encourage her to spend a little more time with Jacob. He told her that they spent most of the time dancing around each other, and it didn't seem in the best interest of the baby if the baby was Jacob's. Bella and Paul were happy with the way things were. She believed the baby was the only reason Paul did not want a little more. Seth said no to sleepovers at their house when he worked overnights, so she stayed with him instead. All the pack knew what was up, but no one exactly talked about it.

The Thanksgiving meal happened without a hitch. Everyone seemed to be enjoying eating the large quantities of food and visiting. Bella watched her father. He eyed the pack. She thought that he had to know something was unique about that band of brothers, but he always remained silent about it. Maybe it was fine that he didn't know the entire story, but for some reason, she thought it would all come out someday.

After they packed away what few leftovers there were and cleaned up, the pack headed over to Seth and Bella's for a smaller get together. They were going to watch football, play some games and eat dessert.

Bella was exhausted and full of pumpkin pie by late evening. She had a seat next to Seth on the sofa. They'd been involved in a couple of hours worth of a charades game on Kim's iPad. It was funny and loud. Quil was so competitive at that sort of thing, they all were. She finally decided to sit out a few rounds.

Seth put his arm around her and rubbed her shoulder, "You look tired."

"Little bit."

"Ready for me to kick all these assholes out?"

"No, they can stay a little longer. Midnight, maybe."

"You aren't going to make it to midnight, sweetheart. If you want to go to bed, I can shut it all down." Seth's suggestion was starting to sound really tempting, but she didn't want to be the only party-pooper. She noticed Kim looked like she could fall over as well. They had all been surprised by Kim and Jared's happy announcement at lunch. They were also adding to the pack in the summer. She hugged Kim for a long time after all the initial congratulations. They were going to raise babies together. It was very exciting news. Kim had almost given up. She was sure something was wrong with her, but it was finally the perfect time and it happened for them.

Jared shook his wife's shoulder and announced they were heading out, so Kim could get to bed. Bella thought she'd also tell everyone good night. She walked them to the door and saw them both out. Trevor and Jordan were at home with their family. Collin was on patrol and Paul was about to relieve him. Sam and Leah were now living together and they too stood up to say they were going home. A lot of activity was going on at once with the departures and some of the guys were still involved in the charades tournament. Jacob was standing off in the kitchen eating another slice of pie. She smiled at him and he waved. "Sorry, it's so good, Bells. I had to have more."

She giggled and told him he could take it home if he wanted. Bella turned her attention back to the living area. "Alright guys, I'm beat. Clean up and I'll see you all later. I had a great day."

"Night Bella, sweet dreams, Mom," were some of the things she heard. "Goodnight, Bells, thanks." She knew who had said that last phrase. Paul, stepped in front of her before she got to the hallway. "Goodnight, hummingbird. You did good today," he pulled her in for one of his warm hugs. They were all use to that, but then he did something that was never done in front of the pack. He kissed her, right on the lips. It wasn't a wild kiss by any means, but it was not a friendly little peck. She was frozen when he pulled back, her eyes widened. He saw her alarm, but he shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. Was it? She looked at the spot where Seth was sitting. She couldn't really read his expression, but he didn't look like he was going to lose it or anything. Bella saw Jacob standing watch close by the long table. She exhaled and thought that was it, if they were all going to ignore it, she should relax and not draw any more attention to herself.

This was her she was thinking about and it never was that easy. Embry walked closer and told Paul what he thought. _Dammit Embry_, why did he have to say something? "Way to make Bella uncomfortable, Lahote. You should keep that shit private."

Paul was quick to react, he got in Embry's face, "What did you just say to me?"

"Paul..." was said from Jacob's mouth. Bella knew it was a warning.

"I'm cool Jake, I just want to know why Em needs to insert himself in mine and Bella's business if Seth's okay with it."

"I wouldn't exactly say okay," Seth chimed in.

Embry caught her eye, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to start trouble or judge you in any way, Bella. I was just thinking with you having the baby and all, that it isn't the right time to pressure you into situations you're obviously uncomfortable with."

"Please, Em..." she wasn't given a chance to say anything else.

Paul was pissed, "That's it, outside right now; you and me, Call."

By that time, Seth had stood up. Jacob also came over. He put his hand on Paul's shoulder, "Go, Paul. You're on patrol as of right now. Embry doesn't need to step outside with you."

"I've got twenty more minutes," he jerked away from Jake.

"Not anymore."

Bella interrupted all of them, "Paul, come on...I'll step outside with you." She took hold of his arm hoping her contact with him would further defuse the situation.

He looked at Jake, who was shaking his head side to side.

Bella frowned at him. Seth was silent. She kinda missed the old Seth, who never had too much trouble letting his feelings known. It wasn't that way anymore. She had a hard time gauging his reactions. They had managed to resolve most of their problems, but something was different between them still. Bella was still hopeful that the baby would help them. She knew that was not an ideal wish, but she expected it to change things for the better.

She pulled Paul's arm with a little more force and he started walking towards the front door. She followed next to him and they went out into the cool night air.

"They're all listening," he reminded her.

She nodded and walked a little further out in the yard behind the cars that were parked there. It still wasn't far enough, but she was freezing and thought it would have to do.

"Talk to me."

"What? I told you goodnight. Is it true that I made you uncomfortable? Why does Embry think he should speak for you?"

"I don't know, but he's worried I'm confused and that it isn't a good environment for the baby."

"What the hell does he know about babies?"

"I don't know, he told me a few weeks ago. Paul, he didn't have the best home life either, you know that."

"Our fucked up past has nothing to do with what's happening now. Your baby is going to have a great home life."

"I know he or she will always have love, but if the adults are confused; how's a child supposed to understand. I can see where he is coming from."

"Really, Bella. Don't babies just eat, shit and sleep. How will it be emotionally confused?"

"Babies grow up, Paul."

"And the kid will grow up around all us. Children assimilate to their environment."

"Maybe," she huddled up closer to him to keep warm.

"Are you saying, you want me to stay away?"

"No, I..." she was so cold her teeth were chattering. He wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make a statement or trying to act like a dick. I love you, and I wanted to kiss you goodnight. You know if we'd been alone, you would have kissed me back."

"It's fine. We're all still figuring it out. I'll talk to Seth and maybe you should let me talk to Embry. Remember Jake's rule?"

"I have to go and you need to get inside." Paul had been holding her trying to keep her warm, but it was very windy. She tried to shield her face against him. He leaned down and kissed her again. She could feel he'd completely settle back down. "I love you," he whispered against her neck.

She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him in for another kiss. "Love you too."

Paul took Bella to the door, but didn't go back inside with her. Everyone else had busied themselves picking up and getting ready to leave. Embry looked sheepishly at her and mouthed, "Sorry."

She said good night and good bye again and headed back to the restroom to get ready for bed. She always made sure to brush her teeth and wash her face. It wasn't fair to have his scent on her when she went to bed with Seth.

Seth climbed into bed with her a half hour later. She'd already been dozing off. He wrapped his arm around her, so she grabbed his hand.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, what about you?"

"I'm fine if you are."

"We're still trying to figure it out. I don't know why he just now decided this, but Jacob says, the three of us are taking off tomorrow for some alone time. Leah's going to stay with you."

"Alone time? Where are the three of you going?"

"We're going up to one of Dad's old hunting lodges. We use to all go up there in the fall. We'd hang out a couple of days, bring home some venison. It's been a couple of years. Would you like to have some venison in the freezer? Do you like it?"

"I don't know, I'm sure I've had it at Charlie's, but wait a second." She suddenly found herself fully awake. "Are you saying you're all going for some alone time; I assume to discuss the four of us? But you're actually going hunting together?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"With guns?" was her next question.

He laughed, "Yes, did you think we still use bow and arrows? We could, but hunting rifles make it a little easier."

"No, I...I just don't think I like hearing that you all will be alone with a bunch of guns."

"We aren't going to shoot each other, my gosh, Bella. We're all getting along exceptionally well lately. Don't you agree?"

"Yes, but why go off alone? Why now?"

"Because honey, we need to come to understanding about all the possibilities. The baby's almost here."

He took their joined hands and rubbed them over her stomach. The baby was also awake and kicking up a storm inside her. She might as well stay up longer and talk some more with Seth.

"Don't look so worried. I can see you even if its dark. Things were bad and then they got worse, but it's going to keep getting better. We're all committed to you and the baby. I'm going to have a talk with Embry too. He's just very empathetic and it annoys Paul. We'll get it all sorted out. You don't have to worry about anything. Embry has never been the same since that one Forks girl broke his heart. Sometimes he's a little gloom and doom."

"Wait, I never knew he had a serious girlfriend."

"That's because we don't talk about it. He was head over heels for this girl Angela Weber. They went out over a year, but when she decided to finish college in California, she broke up with him. He wanted to try a long distance relationship. She said it wasn't fair to either of them. I think she ended up finding a job and staying there."

"Wow, I knew her. She was really sweet and I would have been better friends with her if it hadn't been for my obsession with the Cullen's. That's really sad. She doesn't ever visit? She and Embry never tried to stay in touch?"

"No, she sees her family sometimes and Embry always goes out with Collin and Brady when she's in town to avoid doing something stupid. "

Bella didn't think Embry trying to reconnect with Angela and finding out her current situation was stupid, she thought one day, she might have a chat with Mrs. Weber. She saw her occasionally around town.

"No, Bella, whatever you're thinking...stay out of it."

Bella curled up in her husband's arms. She had bigger things to think about like the three of them far off in the woods all armed and Leah babysitting her for two days, she mentally calculated a thousand possibilities. Nope, nothing at all to worry about. Seth rubbed her back for awhile longer until she finally couldn't hold out any longer and fell asleep with him.

Lucky for Bella, Leah was in love. She wasn't nearly as scary since becoming involved with Sam again. They talked a little more about that. Bella was happy for her sister in law.

"Leah, do you only put up with me because of Seth?"

"In the beginning yes, but not now. You're family."

"What about the way things are right now? Do you think I'm being unfair to Seth?"

"If he doesn't think you are, then that's between you and you're little love triangle...oh correction square. It's weird, I'm not gonna lie, but whatever floats your boat, Swan. Baby brother is a big boy, he can make his own choices."

"Do you think Sam would go up to the hunting lodge and see what they're up to?"

"No, not if they want to be alone. What are you twelve? You want me to send my boyfriend to spy on your three boyfriends."

"Leah, they aren't my boyfriends."

"Sure..." she said.

"One more thing. What do you think about imprinting now, since everything might soon change?"

"I don't give a fuck about it. Sam and I will not let it come between us again. He's pretty sure, now that he's broken one; he can control it."

"That makes sense. I hope he's right. You and Sam are perfect for one another. I'm so happy for you. Do you ever talk about marriage?"

"Yes."

"And?" Bella had trouble getting Leah to say anything extra.

"One day, but I'd really like to stop phasing. Now, I'm not so sure if Jake will allow it, at least not for a while. Believe it or not, I'd like to have a kid before I'm thirty."

"You're not even close to thirty."

"Closer than you."

Bella and Leah eventually got off the serious stuff and had fun making brownies and hot chocolate. For the first time ever, she had a glimpse what it would have been like to have a sister. She hoped if she had a girl, she could give her a sister one day. It was a nice feeling.

* * *

Bella was waiting in a booth at the diner after school Tuesday afternoon since going back to school

Paul had asked her to meet him. He had big news that he wanted her to hear only from him. Seth had come home late Saturday, but would give her very few details on his guy weekend. He did seem a little more relaxed, so maybe it had been a good idea even if it worried her the majority of the 48 hours they'd been gone.

She waved to Paul and he slid into the seat directly across from her.

"Guess what?" he wasn't wasting any time.

"What? I can't imagine what has you this giddy."

"Nadia's in jail."

"Really?" Paul had every right to be excited. That was a good piece of information.

"Yes, my little scheme worked, she fell for it. She took the bait and fell right into the trap. He set her up good. Don't worry, nothing illegal was done on his part. She truly was stealing from him. She just had no idea, he was ready for it. Seth's talking to some cop friends as we speak to get all the details of the charges, but at least she's going to do some time. It isn't what she deserved since she hurt you, but it's something."

"You were never going to let it go, were you?"

"Absolutely not. I'll never forget that feeling not knowing where you were after smelling your blood in the house. It was when I realized just how much I loved you."

She ignored that they were in public and reached across the table for his hand.

"Thank you. Nadia is so crafty. Hopefully, she doesn't weasel her way out again."

"Not possible," he assured her.

"I'm relieved, does Jacob know?"

"Yeah, he and I were working together when I got the call."

"Paul, when did you first notice me?" His earlier statement about when he started loving her made her curious.

"I noticed you when I walked in the garage that day to get you away from Nadia for Jake. You smelled nice even over the oil and fumes I was use to smelling in the garage. I didn't know a damn thing about you, but I thought maybe if I turned on the charm, I might get lucky with that sweet smelling flower."

"You've got to be kidding, I thought you were disgusting that day I met you."

"Please, you thought I was hot."

"No, not at all. You made my skin crawl."

He threw his head back and laughed loudly. She saw the people next to them look over.

"So that was it?"

"No, I was on Bella duty remember and I kinda liked following you around. I started to learn your mannerisms, your routines. I always felt relaxed when I was near by, not like I was doing a job. Your turn."

"What?"

"When did I stop making your skin crawl?"

"I guess it was last Thanksgiving when I bribed you with food. I saw something that I previously hadn't stopped long enough to observe. You left those incriminating particles of sawdust in Charlie's kitchen, and my rational mind thought you were trouble. Little did I know how much I needed some trouble in my life."

He held his lips together in a tight line and shook his head slowly. He whispered in low, husky voice, "I think we should get out of here unless you want to be the victim of a small town scandal."

She quickly followed his lead out of the diner to her Tahoe, he held his hand up in the air and she tossed the keys directly into his hands. They looked like they'd rehearsed the move, but they hadn't. Paul left the diner in a cloud of dust and took her back to his house for a few hours because all that when, where and why do you love me talk caused feelings to raise up and they needed to feel their connection after such confessions.

* * *

Bella, was holding a large bag of warm food. She was taking a risk by going over unannounced but Seth had told her it was fine. She managed to get a hand free to knock.

Jacob opened the door looking damn near close to perfect. She had been stupid to go over without calling first. He was obviously set to go out. His hair was perfectly styled, he had on dark blue jeans and a burgundy button up shirt. Oh well, she knew he could save the food for later in the fridge and he, Billy and Embry could have it the following day. She brought enough for all of them. She continued to stand there dumbstruck by how gorgeous he looked. She felt like a tongue-tied Jr. High kid.

"Here, let me take that bag. It looks heavy. Come in, Bells."

She stepped through the door, she didn't notice Billy or Embry around. Maybe they were in their rooms. "Um, I'm sorry. I made food. I should have sent you a text or called. I can see that you're busy."

"How so?"

"Well, look at you, Jake. It's obvious you're on the way out."

"Actually, I'm not; I've got a date coming over."

She really had stepped into it. Oh my god, she had to get out of there fast. Jacob had a date coming over and there she was hugely pregnant with sack full of some of his favorites like barbecue ribs and twice baked potatoes. She couldn't be seen by some unsuspecting woman. It would have been even more pathetic than normal for her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Well, you can put the food up. It's all in re-heatable containers. I mean the potatoes are best the first day, but everything else will be fine. I'm sorry, I just thought maybe we could talk about a few more things about the baby. I don't know why I didn't call. It's fine. I mean, I'm almost done with school after next week. I'll have plenty of free time til the baby arrives. We'll talk another time. Bye Jacob." She started to back up towards the door after her episode of word vomit.

She felt behind her for the door knob and started to twist it. He followed her and reached across her body, so that he could place his hand firmly against the door.

"Stop it, Bells before you hurt yourself. Come back over to the table with me while I get some plates, so I can eat those ribs while they're hot."

"But you said you had a date, Jacob. You're obviously ready, when is she supposed to be here?" Did Jacob expect to serve his date her food? That was a bit weird, but once she gave it to him, she guessed he could share it with anyone he wanted.

He pulled her with him to the table where he'd sat the bag of food. He proceeded to start pulling out the containers. She wrapped her arms around her baby, it was so much better than how she use to try and hold her hollow body together. Now there was life inside instead of emptiness.

"Since you still haven't caught on, I might as well confess. Seth told me you were coming over, so I was messing with you. You're my date tonight, sorta."

Finally, she could breath again. She kept telling herself it was fine, Jacob could have a different woman over every night if he wished. When he said it was her, relief washed over her and she felt her face heat up. He looked so amazing and he'd done that for her. Sure, she'd cooked her ass off, making him a ton of food, but she hadn't gone overboard on her appearance. She had taken a shower and worn a decent top and her maternity jeans, but she felt undressed all of the sudden until he added. "This food smells delicious and you look great, by the way."

"Thanks," she plated their food and they sat at the small kitchen table. They made some small talk. Bella really wanted to know more about that hunting weekend. Neither Seth nor Paul had given her many clues on what went on other than every member of the pack now had a freezer full of deer meat. She was trying to figure out some ways to prepare it, since she'd never cooked with venison.

"Jake, is there anything I should know about what you, Seth and Paul discussed or figured out a few weeks ago?"

"Nope, the men handled it, so no need to worry your pretty little head, Bells?"

"Are you kidding me? The men handled it. If it's about me, then I think one or all of you better start talking."

He leaned back in his chair and grinned, "It never gets old. I love to make you mad."

"Why?" she stuck her lip out.

He shook his head, but got up and carried their plates to the sink. He put away the leftovers and asked he she wanted to sit on the couch with him.

"You want me to get the dishes?"

"No, I'll do it later. Let's talk, no more jokes. Whatever you want to know, I'll try and answer you honestly. Although, we still don't know, til it happens. You know what I mean? We pretty much made a pact, Bells. We'll work together to take care of you and any children born to you. Do you understand how committed we are? None of us are saying it's easy, and we're not promising to not ever be jealous, but we are trying to accept the truth."

"Which is?"

"We love you."

"Jake, I thought after what happened back at the end of the summer that you didn't want to be alone with me if you could help it. Seth, was the one that told me I needed to spend time with you. Did you have anything to do with that? Have you changed your mind?"

"Maybe...a little Bells."

"Okay, a little is fine. I was wondering how you'd like to handle the delivery? Of course, I've thought about it many sleepless nights and I'm sure it'd be weird if I brought two men to the hospital, but what were your expectations, Jacob?"

"Bells, as long as you let me know when you're on the way to the hospital, that's all I ask. I'd like to see the baby as soon as possible. You know there still is a slight chance we won't know immediately?"

"Seth, told me that too, but that's alright. He said something about the antiseptics, all the hospital scents, and stuff like that, but I'm going to be overwhelmed with meeting my child; I can wait. It's the two of you I worry about."

"We'll both be fine. I'm going to be so fucking worried about you. I made the mistake of watching a birth on YouTube."

"You did not!" Even she hadn't done such a thing.

"Yep, have you watched one?"

"Heck no, I'd scare myself silly. I'm taking classes after Christmas."

"About having a baby?

"Yes and breastfeeding."

"You need someone to teach you all that stuff?"

"It supposed to help, especially since I'm going to try it without drugs."

"Why in the hell are you going to do that?"

"Because I actually have a really high pain tolerance. I should know, I've been hospitalized enough. I've read the pro's and con's about being able to move around in labor. I think I can do it."

"I think you're going to need to be knocked out."

"Jake, they don't knock women out anymore in normal deliveries. I can always change my mind, but I'm really going to try. Kate says I'm nuts for considering it."

"What does Seth say?"

"He says whatever since it's happening to me. He's worried I'm going to start hating him and screaming at him, you know like they always show in the movies."

They hashed out a few more details and it felt good to get it all out in the open with him.

"Jacob, we don't have names picked out. I kinda have a secret one, I've kept to myself. Do you want to wait to discuss that?"

"I think we should wait til the baby's born. If you and Seth have your hearts set on one; I'm sure it'll be fine. I mean...I trust you Bells, you'd never name your kid some weird name no one could pronounce or spell."

She laughed, but was glad he trusted her. She admitted, "Maybe, I'm leaning towards one name, but only the girl one."

"Girl...I have a hard time picturing myself as a father to a girl."

"You want a son?"

"No, not necessarily; I just feel sorry for any girls born in the pack. We're all a bunch of over-protective assholes at times."

"Don't I know it," she socked him in the bicep.

Jacob leaned over her stomach, "Don't be a girl, we'll drive you crazy."

She giggled, but then she put her hand on top of his head. He rested his head there after she did that. Bella held his head there a little longer. She rubbed her fingertips over his scalp. He rubbed her stomach. He even lifted her shirt just like Paul and Seth always did to rub her skin.

"Hey, you wanna watch something?" He sat up and grabbed the remote.

"Sure, anything's fine." she answered.

He stopped on SpikeTV, "You're in luck, Bells...Indiana Jones marathon."

"Yeah," she waved her hands in the air. She let her head fall to the side to look at him. He did the same. She smiled nervously for some unknown reason. They turned back towards the television to catch the tail end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. The next went started a few minutes later. They watched for about thirty minutes in silence before Jacob slid his hand across her lap an took her hand. She squeezed his hand as hard as she could. She stayed there beside him as long as she could hold her eyelids open. He, of course, insisted on driving her home because she was so tired.

"I'm glad we had this night, Bells."

"Me too, Jake." He leaned across the console and kissed her on the cheek. In truth, she missed all the passion they'd once shared, but feeling his lips touch her skin in a friendly manner was something. In fact, for now...it was enough.

_**~Thanks so much for reading.**_

_**Next chapter preview: The baby is coming!**_


	48. Chapter 48

_**Thanks so much for all the new follows, favorites and reviews. I appreciate it so much. Remember: from here on out, something major is set to occur each and every update. **_

Chapter 46

Seth pulled up in the driveway. He'd been gone forever, it seemed. She didn't like to be alone lately, especially since she was officially overdue. Bella peeked out the window at him. He had been in her car since early that morning. She flung open the door to be met with a cold gust of wind and some blowing snow.

"Where have you been? I was worried. What if I'd gone into labor?"

Seth was use to her antics lately. She was moody, anxious, with sporadic cleaning fits thrown in. "I was having your car detailed, so it would be in perfect condition for the baby to ride home in."

"But it's almost February and we're having another snowstorm, Seth. Who gets their car detailed in this weather?"

"I know the guy looked like I was crazy until he saw the car seat. He said he had one last year, so he understood."

"Understood, what? That pregnant women are crazy. Is that what you're trying to say?"

Seth shook himself off on the porch and stepped inside with her. "I'll clean this up in a second. Come here." He hugged her and gave her a kiss. "No, you aren't crazy, but I know you've been on edge since your due date passed. I wanted to do something extra special for you."

"I'm sorry, I know. Thanks so much for having my car cleaned up." She kissed him again. "That was sweet of you."

"And do you really think I'd leave you alone? There's half a pack of wolves out there in the frozen snow and ice, waiting to hear if a whimper escape your lips."

"Why so many? Isn't it usually just one?"

"Not when I have to leave you alone, but at least my vacation time started yesterday."

"I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"For being overdue."

"That is normal according to Mom, sweetheart. I know you're tired and miserable, but it'll be any day now."

"And fat, you forgot really fat."

He shook his head, "Nope, not fat...see," he lifted her up and carried her to the sofa.

"Seth, you know what Dr. Oliver told me yesterday. We could go back to the bedroom," she raised her eyebrows at him. How he still found her attractive was beyond reason and she wasn't doing that great of job flirting, but she was desperate. She was so ready to get the show on the road.

"I don't know, Bella. Last time, I thought we couldn't possibly try that again with you this far along."

"Please...please, I'm begging here and it's embarrassing. We have to try, I'm four days overdue."

"I thought it was three."

"No it's four, big difference. I swear I'll make it worth your while if you do this for me."

"Let me think about it: go have sex with my very pregnant wife or start my month long dry spell prematurely. What should I pick?"

She climbed over him and straddled his lap and covered his mouth with hers. Seth chose wisely. He didn't even take the time to move their futile attempt at starting labor to the bedroom.

Bella thought it was a good time to take a nap after their shower. She'd proven him wrong, she did have one last go left in her. He decided to lay beside her and close his eyes as well. They had no idea when the baby might make an appearance so it was wise to grab rest whenever possible. She woke up and Seth was gone, so she grabbed one of his t-shirts and slipped it on as she headed towards noises in the kitchen.

"Hey, I was going to bring this to you. I warmed up some soup and made you a grilled cheese. Does that sound good?"

"Yes, it's perfect. I'm starving."

"How are you feeling?

"Groggy, but good." They sat at the bar and ate their late lunch/early dinner, whatever it was. She told him about the dream again. "You told them all, right?" she asked for the third or fourth time.

"Yes, they all know. Everyone knows, Bella that you don't want visitors the first few days. I can't say they understand, but no one is going to bother us, except of course Jake will be there."

"I know, it's just the dream was so scary and so real. Bella had a couple of nightmares that something went wrong the first few days after she came home with the baby. She didn't want to say it again out loud, because she'd gotten so paranoid. She knew she wanted to keep visitors and stress to a minimum. She wasn't barring family from the hospital, but she told Seth she wanted the pack to wait.

Once they were done eating, the two of them stood at the sink to wash their two plates and cups. Seth told her to go rest some more, but she didn't want to. She'd slept enough already. She wished the weather hadn't been so crappy, maybe he could have taken her walking if it hadn't been the dead of winter. That was another piece of advice given to her by the doctor.

Bella marched back to visit the bathroom again, but when she came out the door, she felt a dribble. She thought the baby must have danced on her bladder, so she turned around to visit the bathroom again. Seth spotted her from down the hall. She didn't want him to know she was peeing herself now. That would have been embarrassing, but he questioned her, because of those damn werewolf senses, "Did something just happen?"

"Um..." she paused in front of the bathroom door and then it happened again, except it was a much bigger amount. She looked down to the wetness that was spreading down her legs. She looked back at Seth as he made the hallway in three steps. His nostrils flared.

"Your water broke. I can smell it. That's not pee, honey."

"Oh my gosh, I think you're right. What should I do? I'm not feeling anything."

Seth took her into the bathroom and helped her get cleaned up. She still felt totally normal except every so often she felt more of the liquid escape. She lined her panties hoping it'd catch it all, and the two of them went to sit back in the living room. Bella put a towel under her just in case. Seth grabbed her pregnancy book off the coffee table and she scrolled through her phone for the doctor's number. It was the weekend so it'd go to the service, but Dr. Oliver would call her back quickly. Seth had his nose in the book while she gave the service the details.

"I think I should phase and let them know in case we have to leave in a hurry."

"Okay, my phone should ring in the next 15 minutes or so. She'll either tell me to come now or wait for some contractions."

Seth walked out the door while she held the phone in her hands. Nothing was happening. She still hadn't felt a single twinge.

Her OB got back to her in less than ten minutes. She gave her a few instructions, but did tell her to try and relax and wait an hour to see if she felt any contractions. She might need to come in and have some medication to kick start labor. She said normally, she'd say they could wait 3 to 4 hours, but it would be getting dark and it was snowing, so she actually could come on right then if she preferred. She assured Bella, no matter what, they'd be having a baby within 24 hours.

Bella hung up with the doctor and sent Jacob a text.

**water broke...no pains yet...going soon**.

She wasn't sure if he was phased in or not, but she wanted him to know she told him right away.

Seth came back inside without a stitch of clothes on. He'd left them in front of the door. She went to grab him a towel since he was soaked to the point he was dripping. He dried off and got dressed.

"Well?"

"She said call back in an hour or we can come now, but I don't want to check in so early that I'm stuck in bed the whole time. Maybe we could watch TV or something."

"You want to watch TV?"

"Yes, put in the Regular Show DVD, maybe the laughter will help."

"I'm so damn nervous, I don't think I can laugh," he admitted.

"Well stop, I'm finally calm and I don't want your anxiety to rub off on me."

"Do you need anything? Can you eat and drink?"

"Yes, she said light and easy to digest things, but we just ate. I should have my water though, can you get it?"

Seth got her water and put on the DVD. They pretended it was any other day when they were hanging out at home even though it wasn't. She was trying to stay as calm as possible. Her hour was almost up and she decide to visit the bathroom again and then she'd make the call. When she stood up, the very first wave hit her. Her abdomen squeezed, not too painful, but uncomfortable and then it relaxed. She went ahead to bathroom and took care of things and as soon as she got back into the room with Seth, it happened again. She felt that tightening.

"You're feeling something, I can see it on your face." Seth asked.

"I think it's starting. It isn't that bad. Let me call Dr. Oliver again."

Bella told her what was happening and while she was talking she felt another twinge, but was able to keep talking to her doctor. The doctor told her again if she was ready to come in, she'd be waiting on her, but it sounded like she had a few hours before things really got underway.

She decided she really wanted to try and practice with Seth at home a little while longer. She could tell he was nervous and maybe he would have rather her go right away to the hospital but he had told her whatever she needed in labor, he'd comply. They walked around the house together, she tried different positions. The pains were frequent enough and regular, never more than five or six minutes apart but Bella kept insisting they didn't hurt that bad.

After about an hour, there was a soft knock at the front door. Seth looked at her, "It's Jake. Is it okay?"

"Yes, he can be here."

Jacob came inside, "Why are you two still here?"

"I'm fine Jake, we still have time."

"Does it hurt, Bells?"

"Not at first, but its getting there."

Jacob was even worse than Seth, he didn't like the situation. Bella knew they were both edgy. Jacob pulled Seth over to the window and told him something. The two were shaking their heads. She leaned over the couch and had another contraction. They were hurting more and lasting longer. She really felt she should wait a little longer at home, but she gave in to the men.

"Alright, you two, you win...we can go."

"Good," Seth breathed out. "The weather looks worse and it's almost dark. Do you honestly want to be stuck with me and Jacob delivering the baby?"

When he put it that way, she picked up the pace. She spent a little more time in the bathroom and finished putting the final things in her bag like her toothbrush and deodorant. Seth had already put the big bag in the car. She handed him the travel bag before she was hit the biggest contraction she had yet to feel. Seth came up behind her and pressed his palm into her back. She thought it was never going to end. She hoped that was as bad as they were going to feel because that one almost took her legs out from under her.

"I have the Tahoe warmed up, I'll carry you."

"No, that's silly. I'll walk."

She was use to her five minute reprieve, but soon she was being hit with another pain. It couldn't have been more than three minutes. Okay, now she regretted not leaving as soon as her water broke and what was she thinking about going natural? She'd only had a couple of severe ones. How many would she have like that before the baby came? She should probably call ahead and tell her doctor to have the anesthesiologist waiting for her. She didn't want a needle in her back, but now she'd have no choice.

Jacob rubbed her shoulder. "Is it over?"

She nodded. She no longer felt like talking.

"I smell blood. Are you sure it's okay?"

"Yes, Jake that's all normal, but I'm definitely ready to go."

The two of them bundled her up in her coat and Seth grabbed an extra blanket. They both walked her to the car on either side. She couldn't even get inside before she had her next contraction.

"No, don't I can't get in yet!" She stood outside the car with snow hitting her face to ride out that pain and then she climbed in. Jacob leaned over to give her a hug. She brushed her hand across his cheek. "I'll be okay as soon as I get there and get my drugs."

"Drugs, huh? Wasn't this supposed to be a natural birth?"

"Screw that, I'm no martyr."

He laughed at her and then shut the door.

They got started with the drive, which was almost 30 minutes on a clear day. She really regretted waiting because it was going to take longer than that because of the weather. That meant she was going to have to endure this almost another hour before she got settled into the hospital. The pains kept happening and they lasted longer, were stronger and she was trying her hardest to concentrate and breath through them. She couldn't figure out why they started out slow and suddenly progressed to what she was feeling. The book hadn't described it that way. She felt like she was ripping apart with some of the pains.

Jacob was driving ahead of them to keep his keen eye on the lookout for road problems.

Seth was keeping quiet per her request. Every time he tried to ask anything, she'd put her hand up. She didn't want to hear voices. When she had breaks, her mind raced a million miles an hour. They had all got it wrong. She wasn't going to be some grand mother of the new pack. She was never doing this ever again. She wasn't sure she'd even make it through this time? She briefly panicked, what if it was so terrible, she died. She felt like she was dying. She had to be strong for her baby though, her baby depended on her for making an appearance into the world.

She was breathing heavy after pains back to back, but she sat up to see where they were.

"Are you kidding me, Seth. We're only half way to Port Angeles? How? We've been driving forever, " She yelled.

"Calm down, Bella. I can't go faster. The weather's bad."

"Why didn't we leave sooner?"

"Because you didn't want to."

She could easily start screaming at him. His voice was so annoying all of the sudden. My god, why didn't he make her leave earlier? She went in and out of some trance between contractions. How her mind could zone out in between each one she couldn't believe, but she guessed her body knew what to do.

When Seth stopped her car in front of the ER entrance, she felt like crying, but she read that wasted energy, so she managed not to. Her door was thrown open by Jacob. He reached in and grabbed her. She didn't fight him about being carried.

She heard Seth say he'd park and be right up.

They passed by a desk and a nurse told Jacob where to go. They asked if he wanted wheel chair, but he said, "No."

Those letters that spelled out Labor &amp; Delivery also spelled pain relief to her. She was so ready for a reprieve. Dr. Oliver was at a desk and headed to the room they had waiting on her. Jacob sat her on the bed. He squeezed her hand and left the room quickly.

"Is that your husband's brother?" Her doctor asked.

"In a way," was all Bella could get out.

A nurse came in and helped her into a gown. Bella let it be known she was ready for the epidural that second. Her OB said the call had already been put in, but first she was going to have to examine Bella. She told her first babies took their time in most cases and she didn't want to start the epidural too soon."

Bella was forced into the most excruciating exam possible, while her abdomen cramped worse than she'd ever felt.

Dr. Oliver had a strange expression. She hoped that meant she knew Bella could have the epidural immediately.

"So is he coming in now to give me the epidural?"

"No, Bella. There's no time. The baby is coming right now," was not what she was expecting Dr. Oliver to say.

"What? No, I haven't been in labor that long and I need something for the pain."

"Sweetie, you've already done it. All women in transition say they can't take it anymore. Where's Dad? We probably don't even have ten minutes."

Bella didn't know what was going on around her. Nurses were coming in and out of the room. Bright lights came on, a cart was rolled in, Seth magically appeared at her side and held her hand. Her pains all rolled into one, but she was soon feeling something else: pressure.

She heard the nurse, "Don't push yet Bella, do you feel like you need to push?"

Yes, that's what her body was telling her to do and that stupid nurse told her not to.

"Blow, first breath in through you nose and blow the air out, honey. We're almost all set up."

Seth was still holding her hand and he kissed her forehead.

"Our baby is almost here, sweetheart. You're amazing Bella. I never knew you were this strong. It's almost over."

Seth's words of encouragement made her feel better. She forgot about being annoyed at him in the car.

Finally, the doctor gave her the go ahead. After a few instructions, she was going to push during the next contraction.

Bella tried to do what felt natural. The pushing actually helped her discomfort. She did it a few times, before Dr. Oliver announced this baby was definitely not taking its time. She told Bella and Seth they'd have their baby in the next couple of pushes. Nothing else was going through her mind other than getting the baby out. She had taken a breather, since she felt like she'd pushed so hard, her eyes were going to explode. Suddenly, the whole room yelled "Push, Bella, push!"

She did what they said and it was suddenly so surreal. Her body had been pushed to the limits, and she had about given up several times, but when Dr. Oliver held up that gooey, screaming little baby and laid it on top of her, she only felt elation. She looked at her baby and then sought out Seth's face. He was mesmerized and tears glistened in his eyes.

"Way to go Mom and Dad, beautiful baby girl you have there. Look at all that black hair."

"It's a girl," Bella whispered to Seth.

He was smiling like a fool. The two of them were in awe of their baby daughter.

Someone asked if she had a name, but they said they were waiting a little longer to make it official.

Lots more activity went on in the room for the next few minutes. Bella and her baby were getting checked over and cleaned up. Seth whispered he was letting Jacob know everything was fine. They both knew he would have heard the cries. She doubt he went too far from the room.

A nurse helped her with their first feeding, which went well. Her sweet little daughter was bundled tightly in her blanket cocoon with her soft pink cap covering her head. Dark strands of soft baby hair stuck out the front. Bella stared at her face. She wondered if she'd be able to tell just by looks alone, but she was red and her face had that puffy newborn look to it. She was so beautiful, but Bella didn't know who she resembled. She was overjoyed that she was there and she was healthy. They could figure the other stuff out later.

The room eventually cleared and it was only Bella, Seth and their little girl. The nurse told Seth he could come to the nursery with the baby when the pediatrician did her check up and he could help with her first bath.

Seth was studying his daughter as he held her in the rocking chair.

"Seth, you're really quite, do you have anything you want to say?"

"No, not yet. She's beautiful, I...I don't want to be wrong. Let's not think about it right now. It's late, we'll figure it out tomorrow. You sure you don't want to name her tonight?"

"No, I'll wait till tomorrow. I'm still going over the middle names we talked about."

Seth was staying with her at the hospital in the fold out chair. The adrenalin had started to wear off and she realized how exhausted she was. He told her to rest while the baby was sleeping and not to worry, she wouldn't leave his sight and that he'd wake her when she needed to be fed. He also said, he might leave really early in case she woke up and he was gone. She knew why, he'd promised to check on Kelsee. None of them were sure what might happen or if it would have been in an instant. Seth told her Jacob was still nearby, but he wasn't going to bother them so soon after the birth.

Bella slept some and woke up when she was needed. The nurses probably bothered her more than her daughter, she woke up around six and saw that Seth was gone, but Jacob was sitting in the rocking chair.

"Hey, how'd you get in here so early?"

He shrugged, "I have my ways."

She pushed the button on her bed to raise her head up. "Did you see her?"

"Yeah, she's so pretty. What's her name?"

"Well, I wanted to talk to you first."

"Bells..." he cut her off.

"What Jake? Do you know? Seth said he didn't want to be wrong. Did you two talk already?"

He was about to speak out again, but her daughter squirmed and started to make noises.

"Can you? You just have to support her head with one hand and her body with the other one."

Jacob carefully picked up the baby and handed her to Bella. She needed to feed her, it had been several hours.

"I'm going to feed her, is that okay?"

"Yes, unless you want me to step out for awhile."

"No, stay." Bella got her daughter situated and started nursing her. She was covered up with the blankets. She wasn't giving him a show or anything, so they both acted as if it wasn't a big deal. "Please say what you were going to say, Jacob."

"I was only going to say, congratulations, you and Seth have a beautiful daughter, Bells. Whatever you name her, is up to the two of you." She saw him swallow hard after he let her know.

She tried to stay calm, since she was holding her child. She took in a few deep breaths. That was his way of revealing the truth to her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I came in about an hour ago. Seth told me what he suspected, but he wasn't sure if his wishful thinking was clouding his senses. He's right, she's without a doubt, his daughter."

"Layla..."

"Hmm?"

"Her name is Layla Grace Clearwater."

"That's so nice, Bells. I really like it. Layla, huh?"

"Yes, I know...the second wife story got me thinking, but it also reminded us of Leah. Jacob, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, she's healthy and beautiful. That's all that really matters. I'll always protect her, I swear."

She couldn't help but feel bad for Jacob even though he said he was fine. She knew he truly wanted this baby. On the other hand, she felt great relief for Seth. He didn't deserve any other bad breaks. Wasn't it bad enough his wife was entangled with two of his packmates? Could she ever completely be his? They tried in the beginning to make it like that, but the harsh reality was, she was divided. She knew he was going to be an amazing father. She was happy for him, and she was anxious for the three of them to be together again. She was also nervous that she hadn't heard from him yet. Everything still felt the same, could Kelsee have slipped away and nothing seemed to have changed?

She heard her phone buzz from the side table. Jacob handed it to her.

"Seth, are you at Kelsee's? What happened?"

"Hi Bella, I wanted you to know that Keslee's fine, she sends her love and says congratulations. I showed her the pictures and she said we have a beautiful daughter. Can I announce the name yet? Is it still the one we talked about?"

"Yes, Seth...um, tell her thanks. Tell her that Layla and I will visit as soon as we can. I love you. Hurry back."

"I will, but I need to go by Mom's. Everyone is blowing up my phone, so I need to let them all know what's up and then I'm swinging by the house and getting a shower. Are you okay for an hour or two?"

"Of course, Jake's still here and they just walked in with breakfast. Come when you can."

"Bye, sweetheart. I love you. Tell Layla her Daddy loves her too."

"I will."

Jacob held Layla for a few minutes before situating her back in the bassinet, so Bella could eat.

"It didn't happen," she said even though he heard the conversation.

"I kind of suspected that since...never mind. Kelsee was vague as usual."

Neither of them were about to say out loud what they both had to be thinking. If the baby had been Jacob's, would today have been any different? Deep down, she thought they knew the answer, but what that meant for all their futures was going to have to wait. She needed to concentrate on Layla and learning how to be the best mother that she could be.

Jacob told her goodbye, but she motioned for him to come closer. He approached her hospital bed, she patted the space next to her. He sat there and the two of them wrapped their arms around one another. Neither spoke, it was a silent conservation between two hearts. There was still so much to consider, but it wasn't the right time to bring it up. Jacob kissed her on the forehead, got up and left after he took one last look at Layla. She moved her bed back to the lying down position again. If Layla was asleep, she might as well rest til Seth came back.

She heard the door open, figured it was another intruder wanting vitals or to get her food tray. She lifted her head to see him standing there. He sat on her bed.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you."

"Yeah, I know all about your little pack ban, but I assumed it didn't apply to me."

"Paul, I had a dream and it was before I even knew it was a girl."

"What kind of dream?"

He looked over at the bassinet. "She's asleep, can I hold her when she wakes up?"

"Wait, I...I'm not sure."

"What's wrong with you? Our little princess is here. That's all that matters, right? I want to hold her."

"Is that all?"

"Huh? What the hell are you talking about? Do you still have drugs in your system?"

"Hey, I did a total natural childbirth, no drugs," she bragged.

"Well, aren't you the little ass-kicker I knew you were?"

"Paul, seriously though, I'm sure you know the curse still exists by now."

"Yeah, I followed Seth out to the old woman's shack."

"What if?" her nerves were making her voice shaky.

"Stop...don't you dare say another word. She's a baby, you've got to be kidding me. Is that what you think? That's why you didn't want the pack around? I knew you thought it was a girl all along, that's what you've been worrying about?"

"Can you think of a worse scenario? The curse has been bad. It's a reasonable fear."

Paul got off her bed and walked closer to the bassinet.

"No, wait," she begged.

"Me? Are you honestly considering, it's me?"

"Well, look at us. You have been drawn to her since you were the first one to know. I don't know, I'm afraid."

He ignored her and reached in the bassinet and picked up the sleeping infant, he held her to his cheek and took in a deep breath. He kissed her face and took her to Bella. She clutched her to her breast.

"Are you done now? I'm not going to imprint on your daughter. I'm sure no one will. I still love you, hummingbird. We're destined to be in each other's life for other reasons."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it the way it sounded. Of course, I know our love is real. She's beautiful isn't she?" He was right, it was a dream and she was over-reacting.

"Yes, just like her Momma."

"Thanks. I'm glad you're here, but I'm still not sure about the other guys."

"Bella, I have a confession. I think you should hear this, I've never told another soul."

"What?"

"I never had any doubts when I picked her up because I already know who my cursed imprint is."

She felt like he'd sucked all the oxygen out of the room.

"No! How? You're imprinted, Paul. How could you not tell me? Oh my god, who? How long?"

"Stop...relax, you're still holding Layla. Don't babies feel their mother's stress? I didn't say I was imprinted. I'm supposed to be, but I blocked it, fought it off."

"How? Why haven't you shared this up until now?"

He shrugged, "I'm not good my with feelings and shit, you know that. It was very emotional."

"Well, tell me. I need to know what happened. This could end up helping Layla. Plus, you shouldn't have held onto something that huge for so long, Paul." She reached her free arm out towards him and he came back to sit on her bed. He put an arm around her and one on her daughter. He kissed her on the mouth.

"What am about to tell you doesn't affect us, okay. I love you, hummingbird."

She shook her head and was attentive to every word he had to say.

"Last summer, right before you came back. Rachel Black graced her father with her presence for one day. As soon as I heard her name, my wolf perked up. I remember her from high school. I'd best describe her as an uppity bitch. She's not at all down to earth like Jake. No idea why, but I was soon compelled to visit the Black's. I heard the yelling before I got in the yard so I went to the back of the house and waited outside a window. She was spouting off to Billy about how crappy La Push was . She berated him for keeping Jacob close by where all he could ever amount to was being a mechanic and how he was nothing better than his band of losers he kept company with. It went on and on. I could hear Billy crying. I mean...what a bitch, right? But that sick puppy inside of me was still dying to get to her. I hated her, but wanted her more than anything. It felt like my guts were being ripped apart inside but I fought it. I dug my feet into the dirt and held on to the side of the house. My claw marks are still embedded into the siding. I knew what it meant but I wasn't going to be like the others. If I'd given in, I'd be saddled with that monstrosity. She probably would have left me anyway and then I would have been completely pathetic, forever separated from my imprint or worse yet, she would have stayed. She would have probably yelled at me everyday how I ruined her life, her career etc. I didn't want to be her loser boyfriend, so I went against everything my wolf fought me for and I'm still free."

"I can't believe it. You're amazing Paul. I'm so glad it didn't happen, but what if she comes back?"

"I'll get the guys to chain me in a basement if I have to."

"So you have to tell Jake and he can call a meeting. You could show them all what happened. Then maybe we let them approach the house one by one and see if anyone feels the pull. I have no idea what to do if one of them does, but at least it's better than being blindsided."

"Okay, I still think you're worried about nothing but we can put your fears to rest, I guess."

Bella's mind soon flashed back to several curious encounters. She changed her mind. "Paul forget what I just said, I already know. It's so obvious, we don't have to test the entire pack. I know exactly who it is and so do you. Oh no, what is this going to do to the pack?"

Paul looked into her eyes. "Shit...you're right. Dammit, there's some truth to that mother's intuition thing I've heard about. I hope for his sake you're wrong." He reached out and lovingly caressed Layla's back. "For hers too."

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**Guesses about what will happen with the mystery pack member and Bella and Seth's daughter? Reactions to Seth being Layla's father? I want to hear it all. **_

_**Next chapter preview: The pack encounters great danger. Who is behind it might not be a surprise, but it still will be a shocking turn of events.**_


	49. Chapter 49

_**So there were mixed feelings about Jake not being Layla's father, I was expecting that; but the story isn't over til I type THE END. **_

Chapter 47

Bella was burping Layla across her lap, but not having much success. She'd learned the hard way not to let her go without a couple of big burps. It was the cause of a lot of crying and discomfort later if she didn't get her to do it.

"Here, give her to me," Paul insisted. "She always does it for me. Come on little bumblebee, do your worst." He sat her up straight on his knee and placed one hand over her chest and one hand on her back. Sure enough her six week old daughter let out a loud burp.

"Gah, you're so good at that."

"I know," he bragged.

"Showoff, you're right though. She loves her Uncle Paul."

"What's the plan? We keeping her awake or trying to get her to sleep?"

"Dad will be here soon, so I hope she stays up."

Bella left Layla happy in Paul's hands while she double checked her bag. She was going to spend the evening with her Grandpa and her Mimi Sue. She'd pick her up around 10:30 that night. They were having the pack over and normally, they'd all love to be with her, but once every week or so they'd let her go with Sue and Charlie, so Embry could join in with everyone.

It was a horrible situation, but she had been right. After talking over what she suspected with Jacob, Seth and Paul; Paul showed the pack his memories from the day Rachel visited. They pulled Embry aside and had a long talk with him about how he'd felt around Bella once he knew she was pregnant. He said, "No way," in the beginning that he was just being friendly, but after Layla was about three days old Jacob and Paul brought him over to the house. They made him stay outside while Bella was inside with her newborn daughter. Sure enough he started to feel very strange. Paul told her later, he was losing control. He begged them to let him go inside and meet her, but Jacob blocked him.

Bella heard the shouting through the walls. "Do you all think I'm a freak? I just want to protect her, see that she's okay. I'm not going to fall in love with a baby!"

Lucky for them, Quil showed up when he did. He took him out in the woods and handled him. No one knew all that Quil said or what he'd shown Embry, but it was eventually decided they couldn't tempt it. Embry wasn't allowed near Layla. It was the only way protect them both. Jacob went as far as, putting down the order.

Seth told her Embry was often out in the woods, but then he'd later apologize worrying that he looked like a stalker. They were trying to be patient with him. One afternoon when Layla was a couple of weeks old, Seth had to go into work for a few hours. Layla was having a long nap, so Bella got a little light housework done. She hadn't had to do very much in the beginning because of all the help, but she was trying to build her strength back up. She saw him out the kitchen window.

"Embry, you want to come talk. It's fine," she yelled from the front door.

He eventually listened to her and came on the porch. She put on a jacket and met him outside. "Hey, you doing okay?"

"Sorry, I'm not supposed to be here."

"No, it's okay. She fine. Would it help if I showed you some pictures?"

"No, I saw some already. She's really cute, Bella. I don't mean to cast a shadow on yours and Seth's happy event."

"You're not, you can't help it. I know that. Doesn't she really look like Seth?"

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Weird how we didn't know right away, now it's so obvious."

"She could tell he wanted to say something else."

"Do you need to ask me anything else?"

"No, I...I went to Kelsee's."

"Oh."

"Jake went with me. I asked if we could go ahead and let it happen, only with your permission, of course. Then I could let her help me break like the others."

"What did she recommend?"

"She's afraid, says it might be dangerous. You know because of what happened with Quil, she actually said I could die."

"Then no way, Em."

She said and I quote, 'Embry Call, you're role is important, we can't take the chance', no idea what that means."

"Of course, you're important, Em. Every member of the pack is. Does she say it's because Layla is so innocent?" She remembered that was Quil's problem.

"Yes, I won't feel animosity towards her."

Jacob was soon seen coming from the forest. "Shit, I'm in trouble."

"No, I'll talk to him."

Jacob had a stern look on his face, but she cut him off. "Jake it's fine, she's sleeping."

"Go, Embry."

"Sorry Jake," Embry took off in a flash.

Bella and Jacob went inside. "I'm going to have to make that order more specific."

"No, I don't think so, Jacob. He was just telling me about Kelsee."

"Yeah, I'm here to talk about something else I asked Kelsee in private."

"What?"

"Bells..." he stopped since they never said it out loud.

"Oh, did she give you a straight answer?"

"No, but no matter how unique she might be, I can still read people. It's the only way and you know it."

"Jacob, I...I don't even know how to bring it up."

"I know you don't want to mention this to Seth, and he's really soaring now, but he knows the score. We all went over the possibilities on the hunting trip. Bella, it's our child that will break it. I know it is and one day Seth, Paul, the pack are all going to have to accept it."

"She's not even three weeks old, I can't face that right now."

"I don't expect you to, jeez Bells; I'm not insane."

From then on, she swore she and Jacob could barely look at each other. She was afraid they'd give away what they were planning. She knew it was far off in the future, but then how long were they willing to wait? Embry's life was already altered. Paul might have been confident he had his destiny under control, but there was still one more unsuspecting member of the pack that might be affected in an adverse way. They couldn't always count on the warning. Jacob, Quil and Sam had indeed been blindsided when it happened to them.

Paul interrupted her flashbacks, "Oops, she got too comfy in my warms arms and now she's out. Just like her Momma," he added.

"Oh, well, it's fine. You know how good she is, she won't give them any trouble."

Charlie softly knocked about 20 minutes later, Bella was snoozing on Paul's shoulder and Layla was in the crook of his arm.

"Chief," he addressed him which woke her up.

Charlie grumbled, but managed a hello. Bella thought he liked Paul a little more, but still not enough especially now that he knew it all. "So it's your day to be the husband? Is that why Seth isn't here?"

"Dad, stop, I've told you that isn't what it's like. Jesus, Dad...turn off the TLC at night, will ya?"

Charlie ignored her and his least favorite wolf and gave his attention to his granddaughter. She was starting to stir as well. He lifted her up and kissed her cheek. "There's grandpa's girl. Are you ready to leave this craziness for a few hours? I bet you are. When the time comes, we'll find you a nice, boring accountant."

Paul chuckled, but she was irritated. Sure, it had been a shitload to dump on her father, but Jacob felt it was necessary because of the bloodline. He warned them Layla could very well shift one day. The situation with Embry had to be addressed as well. They all agreed Charlie should know and Bella hoped it would also keep him from thinking she was some sort of shameless nympho that couldn't be satisfied with one man. He was supportive and told her he loved her no matter what, but he still struggled with it, especially Paul.

Layla was fully awake and seemed to focus straight on his mustache as her Grandpa spoke to her, "Yep Charlie, like all us, she's still trying to figure out what it is."

Bella slapped his arm, he wasn't helping.

"Smartass." Charlie said in a low voice. "You got the milk pack already Bells?"

"Yes, Dad. It's in the cold pack. I sent two bottles just in case, but Sue has some in her freezer for emergencies. I fed her less than an hour ago, so you should be good for a little longer."

Seth pulled in as Charlie was buckling up the car seat. He stuck his head in the back of the patrol car and kissed his daughter good bye. Bella smiled, Seth was so over the top about their little girl. She was right, he was an amazing Dad.

"Hey, you two aren't going to believe what I just found out."

"What?" Bella asked first. "Good or bad?"

"Bad, the worst. Everyone will be here in a minute, I'll tell them all at once."

The guys went inside and helped her get the roasting pan out of the oven. She also had two crockpots going. She had several pots of beef stew and french bread. Kim was bringing salad. Once everyone got there and got settled down with their bowls, Seth broke his bad news.

"Out of curiosity, I put a call into the precinct in Port Angeles. I was expecting Nadia's sentence to be handed down by now. Low and behold did my buddy up there blow my mind, when he said, 'I thought you guys in Forks knew, she escaped'."

"Escaped?" Was shouted by everyone in the room.

"Yeah," Seth said he thought he'd heard him wrong too.

"They actually have no idea how she got out, but she's been missing almost three months."

Jacob was pissed, "Three months. How'd she manage something like that? Why are we just now hearing about it? I don't like it a bit."

Seth said it was hush hush, because they swore it was an inside job or some type of a professional break out.

They all questioned how Nadia had a contact that could manage such a thing. Bella was the only one that wasn't surprised. Seriously, that woman was slimy, nothing stuck. She really hoped it meant she was long gone. She probably held grudges against all of them, but her freedom had to mean more to her than any sort of vendetta. She also really hoped, she never knew that she and Seth had a child. She didn't want her to ever cross paths with her daughter.

The dinner was good, but Bella and Seth cut all the get-togethers short since Layla was born. They both needed sleep too much to have them over late. They went over to Sue's to get the baby who was wide awake laughing at her Aunt Leah.

"Hey, Leah, I was wondering why you didn't show up tonight."

"Eh, Sam was on patrol. I'd rather spend the evening with this one. I'm around those other idiots too much. She's getting big so fast."

"I know, we're going for her 2 month checkup in 10 days."

"Leah, why don't you go with Bella that day? I can't."

"Sure, I'll go. Something up?"

Seth told her about Nadia.

"Fucking bitch," she murmured. They were all trying to curtail their language now that they had a little one in their midst, soon to be two little ones, when Jared and Kim's son was born. Seth told her that Jake was beefing up their already tight security on the off chance Nadia found out Paul was the one that made sure she got arrested. They all knew the sane thing was to run far away, but she wasn't known for her sanity. Bella and Jacob both had the scars to prove it.

* * *

Seth had brought Layla to Bella in the wee morning hours, and she'd fallen back to sleep after a feeding. She had been too tired to take her back to her crib, so when she woke up at 7, Seth still had a protective hold on his daughter. She quickly snapped a picture on her phone. She put on a pot of coffee and contemplated starting breakfast when she heard a knock at the door. It was a little early for visitors, so it made her nervous immediately. She hoped nothing was wrong.

Bella peaked through the window and recognized the brown delivery uniform. She slowly opened the front door.

"Hello."

"Hi Miss, are you Bella Swan?"

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry, this was supposed to get here yesterday, but our driver got lost. He isn't familiar with the reservation. Can you sign, please? There's a couple of large boxes. I'll get them now."

Bella wasn't expecting a delivery and Seth wouldn't have used her maiden name. She thought it might be a mistake, but when he sat the first huge box on the porch, it did say Bella Swan. He took the clipboard when he brought the other box on the porch.

"Thanks and I'm very sorry about the delay."

"It's fine, no problem," she waved as he walked away.

She was super curious as to what it could be, so she found the end of the tape and pulled it off so she could see what was in the mystery package. She didn't notice a return address on the label. As soon as the top was flipped open, Seth came running full speed out of their bedroom. She fully expected him to run her over, he was moving so fast. He grabbed her before she could catch her breath. Seth pulled her inside and slammed the door.

"What the hell, Seth?"

"Vampire," was the first word out of his mouth. He had her wrapped tightly in his arms.

"What? Here? You smell one?"

Seth was extremely focused. He was trying to get a sense of what had pulled him from his sleep.

"Go, back to the bedroom. Tell me who was here?"

"A UPS guy, he brought me a couple of packages."

"That's it?"

"Yes, I don't even know what it is, as soon as I pulled the flap open, you tackled me."

He picked up her phone off the side table and tossed it in front of her on the bed. Layla was squirming around, all the excitement had woken her up. "Text Jake, I'm going to have a better look."

She sent him a quick text to tell him to get to the house ASAP, Seth smelled vampire. She picked Layla up and started feeding her. She was trying to stay calm, but Seth didn't come back right away. She had no idea if it was the package that set him off or a scent nearby.

After about 15 minutes, she heard him in the house. He came back in the bedroom and looked at them, "When she's done, can you put her in the swing and come outside?"

"Sure, what happened?"

"Sorry, I scared you. It's not what you think, but it isn't good either. A bunch of the guys are out there, just come out when you can."

Layla would have been content to stay nursing for a bit longer, but Bella knew she'd already gotten enough to tide her over. She was dying to know what exactly was going on with the pack, so she burped her and changed her diaper. She brought her out to the dining room where her swing sat by the window. She strapped her in and started the music and the swing and headed outdoors.

One of the boxes had been ransacked and she finally knew what they contained. There was bright pink and pastel colored wrapping and tissue paper everywhere. She picked up a beautiful lace dressed, that looked extremely ornate and over the top for an infant. There were tons of baby girl clothes in various sizes, as well as toys.

The pack that was there looked extremely pissed, especially, Jacob.

Seth confirmed her suspicions, the designer baby dress had already clued her in. "The fucking Cullen's sent these. Why, I'll never know. This proves they're still keeping tabs on you, and now they've confirmed they know about our daughter." He was livid, Bella rubbed the side of his arm hoping to calm him down.

Brady spoke up, "What do you want us to do, Jake?"

"First get all this shit out of here and burn it. Trev, you and Jordan grab that box. Jared, pack the other one back up and get it away from the house before you torch it."

The twins immediately picked up the larger box. That one hadn't had every last thing pulled out of it yet. She still didn't even know what it contained.

"No, stop," the boys stopped, but didn't let go of the box.

Jake shook his head, "Didn't you hear me, get it out of here."

They started up again.

Bella screamed, "Wait boys. Don't!" she had to yell because they had moved quickly like Jacob told them to and were almost out of the yard.

Jacob frowned at her. "What are you doing Bells?" he pointed at the Trevor, "Don't stop again unless you want me to beat your ass after you're done. You don't take orders from Bella, only me."

Jared had most of the contents of the second box stuffed back inside.

Was Bella the only rational one present? Probably so; the scents must have made them all a little nuts.

"Jacob Black, stop those boys right this instant and bring back that box."

"Bella, you can't seriously expect to keep this shit?" Seth asked her. "Layla doesn't need anything from them. I won't have it in our house."

"No, Seth, I don't want it, but look at this. She held up a super soft pink quilt. This is all very expensive. I should know. I spent enough time with Alice. This is all her doing. I can tell. Do you realize how many different young mothers this could help? I have students whose families barely had enough money for school supplies. I know one of those kid's Mom was expecting a baby soon after me. Burning it's extreme. I want to donate the items. The Cullen's won't know either way: if we keep it, destroy it or give it away. So like I said Jake, tell them to bring it back. Load it in the truck, I'll call Kate and find the best place to send it. If they have thousands to waste on a daily basis, someone should reap the benefits."

She felt like she could hear the clicking of a second hand in the back of her mind as they stared at her trying to absorb what she'd told them all. No one had acknowledged her yet and Trevor and Jordan were still standing at the edge of the property frozen with that damn huge box between them.

She motioned for them to come back and Trevor agreed. His brother looked a little nervous towards his alpha.

"Fine, donate it," Jacob finally responded. "While you're on with Kate, tell her to have Reese call me."

"Why? I didn't think you knew him that well?"

"I know him better than you think. His grandmother grew up on the reservation. He even went to school with us in Jr. High." Bella did remember he was part Quileute.

"Okay, what does he have to do with any of this though?"

"His brother flies charter planes out at the private air strip and we've decided a plane's the best way."

"Plane for what? Why do you all want to fly all of the sudden? This is the first I've ever heard you mention something like this."

"Bella, Layla's starting to cry. Why don't you go inside and take care of her and get a hold of Kate," Seth advised.

She knew they wanted to get rid of her, but she needed to check on the baby, so she allowed it.

Bella picked up her daughter and realized she needed another change. She sent a text to Kate, but she was teaching and it might be a little bit before she had a break. Seth came in and offered to give the baby her bath if Bella could cook a little extra for breakfast. No one was leaving, he actually expected the rest to be showing up soon. She always kept enough food in the house to feed an army, so she got busy preparing them a hot meal. The tension in the air was palpable. Of course, it was creepy and weird that they'd sent gifts; but the boxes came via delivery truck. She still didn't believe the Cullen's would ever come back to the area.

Once Bella had the sausage and bacon fried, she started scrambling some eggs. Her house quickly filled up with all the pack minus Trevor and Jordan and Embry who Jake sent out on an extra patrol. She quietly fed them all, but went to the sofa to feed her daughter while they ate in and around the kitchen. It wasn't long before Jacob came over and joined her.

"We have to go. I should have taken care of this over a year ago."

"Please don't, they were baby gifts, it wasn't a threat."

"Did you text your friend?"

"Yes, about the donation, not for your number. You'll have to figure that out for yourself."

"Fine...I will."

"You can't even take everyone, I'm sure. You have no idea how many you'd be up against. Carlisle will want to negotiate. I know him. He won't fight you."

"Sounds great, that'll make it easier. Don't you get it Bells, they shouldn't still be checking up on you. It leads me to believe Edward still thinks he can get you back somehow."

"Well he can't, what do you care what he thinks?"

"Because he won't stop there."

"Jake, no one in the pack should be at risk. This was all Alice. It's what she does. She has no other hobbies but shopping. I'm sure there wasn't something sinister behind it. Did you check for a card? Did she send any messages with the gifts?"

Paul walked over with a small envelope. It was opened, of course.

_Dearest Bella,_

_I can't believe you are a mother. I'll make sure she has everything she ever needs. I can't believe how long it took for me to get a glimpse, but I saw you with a daughter one day last week. I had to send her the latest baby couture._

_Always, Alice_

"See, I told you so."

"Could be a smokescreen," was Paul's reply.

She put the baby down for a nap, the pack left for another meeting that she wouldn't be included in. Hopefully, Jacob would change his mind. Getting a plane seemed so extreme, but then running thousands of miles was equally crazy. Seth came home hours later.

"I dropped off the boxes."

"Thank you, I know it will help someone or a few people. What else happened?"

"They're having a late season storm in Canada. Reese's brother said no way can he do a flight plan right away to the area we need to travel to."

"So he's waiting? "

"For now, Jake isn't comfortable running us so long. It would mean a longer wait, and he'd have to leave more here for protection. It's not a clear cut decision."

"Good, can't you all tell that it's a sign or something?"

"I wouldn't go that far, babe," Seth leaned over a gave her a kiss.

Bella breathed a brief sigh of relief. She knew it wasn't the end of it, but at least she might have a few days without worrying herself sick about the pack. Jake, Paul and Seth would probably be the first ones on the plane and that's what made it even worse to think about. Perhaps, now that the boxes were safely donated they'd relax a little. The overwhelming scents contained in the packages had certainly set them off. It wasn't very often they even came in contact with vampires any longer.

* * *

Bella had made a few rounds visiting. She'd been to Eleanor's who was surprisingly still kicking even though Old Quil had claimed she was on her last leg back in the summer. Bella still didn't have a complete grasp on the language but she knew enough. She still planned to start her classes at the council hall afternoon starting in the next couple of months. Grandfather and Joseph ooh'ed and ahh'ed over Layla for nearly an hour when she met with them. They were in her corner about keeping the pack in La Push which was a good thing, because Jacob had promised to run important decisions by them even though he had the ultimate authority to make decisions regarding the safety and well being of the pack which now included Bella and Layla. She still made a point to send him a text and tell him, he should set up a meeting.

She went to Kelsee's next. She had been making it over once a week since Layla was a couple of weeks old. Kelsee had told her lots of superstitions and old wives' tales as they related to babies, but she did provide her with some amazing herbs for bathing the baby in those first weeks. They were very soothing and she'd had perfect skin: no peeling, no baby acne, or any of the things she'd read about.

Kelsee greeted them. She always touched Layla's head and said a few phrases which weren't Quileute. Bella at least knew that much. She said they were a blessing.

"Kelsee, this is beautiful," she fingered the piece of arm jewelry the old woman wore. She never seen her wear it before. It had a silver finish, but wasn't tarnished and it resembled a feather which wrapped around twice. It had several stones: one that she knew to be turquoise, but the black one and the white one; were very unique.

"It was my Aunt's."

"I love it."

"One day it will be yours."

"What? It looks so valuable, I don't think I could accept it." Bella thought it might belong in a museum, but Kelsee disagreed. She thought it was meant to stay in the family.

"Who else could I leave it to Isabella? You're my rightful heir and then you can pass it on to her." She reached for Layla's hand and she gripped Kelsee's finger tightly.

They talked for a long time, Bella told her all the everyday things that had been going on that week, but also shared the news about the delivery that had the pack up in arms.

"Can you see anything? Can you advise Jacob?"

Kelsee got very quiet and tried to focus. "I have trouble with the cold one's. They don't make decisions like the rest of us, but I don't think you have to worry about them leaving."

"Oh that's such a relief." Kelsee's eyes darkened. "Right, Kelsee? They'll be safe if they stay here?"

Her mood abruptly changed. "Isabella, stay calm but go home."

"What?"

"I need you to take Layla and return home immediately. Don't stop for anything."

"Should I call Seth?"

"None of them will answer, please go."

Bella bundled up Layla and grabbed her bag. What was Kelsee's cryptic warning that came out of nowhere? First, she made her feel better about them not taking off to Alaska and then she told her to go home and eluded to the guys all being phased in at once. That was rarely the norm. She tried to stay calm, so that she could safely make the short drive home.

When she pulled in the driveway, everything seemed normal. It was late March, the snow was melted in most places, there was still a chill in the air. When she grabbed Layla out of the car, seat and all. She noticed the wind she'd felt at Kelsee's seemed to have died down. It was almost eerily quiet. Luckily, the baby was asleep. She carried the car seat back to the baby's room and place it inside the crib. She didn't know why but she was compelled to pull down all the shades and close all the curtains. Finally, she could use her phone, and the only message was from her father.

She called him back.

"Bells, where are you?"

"Home."

"Okay, good."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I don't know, but Seth ran out of here. All he said was 'find Bella, she's making visits today. I don't have time to tell you where'."

"Did he want you to come over, Dad? Something's wrong. I think they're all phased, but I don't know why."

"Yeah, let me get Randy to cover the station, I'll drive over. Don't open the door or dare go anywhere, you hear me Bells? I tried Sue and Billy but neither of them know."

"Dad, I have Layla, I won't move, I swear."

She didn't think it did any good, but she still sent out the group text.

**Layla and i r safe in the house, charlie's on the way...please let me know what's wrong**

Surely, it wasn't something to do with Edward. _Please, please, please let them be alright_, she thought. What else would get them on the run if it wasn't related to a vampire? Almost 40 minutes passed before there was a loud banging on the door frame. It must be Charlie.

She was smart enough to look first, but it was Brady. She swung open the door without hesitation. He looked rough, like he'd taken a beating or a fall, because his face was scraped up on one side and his arm had an unnatural hang to it.

"Brady, what happened?" she guided him inside.

He was trying to catch his breath, blood was dripping out the side of his mouth, but he got the words out, "Vamps, there was an ambush."

She wanted to walk him to sink to start cleaning him up but he collapsed on one of the dining room chairs.

She told him she was going for the first aide kit. She and Kim, with the help of Sue, had put together a massive one that she stored under the bed for emergencies. Sue had also given them a few lessons on basic first aide. She thought she understood, but seeing an emergency in real life intimidated her. She hoped Charlie was hurrying.

"Brady, where do you hurt the worst?"

"My arm, it's dislocated, I need you to help me."

"Hold on, she got some cool rags and held them to his face. The blood flow had slowed since he first came through the door.  
She offered him a bottle of water. He took a few gulps.

"Better?"

"Yeah, but I have to get to this damn arm fixed or I'm no good to protect you and Layla."

"Are they close?" she meant the vampires.

"Close enough. They were trying to get this way, still not sure how many. Bella can you pull the table back?"

"Yeah, I think so." She used her body to help scoot the table. Brady stood up from the chair and laid down on the bench seat with his bad arm hanging off.

"Get your foot in my armpit and grab on to my wrist." She knew what he was wanting her to try, but she wasn't that strong, she hoped it worked.

The first two attempts were failures. He screamed so loud she didn't know how Layla slept through it.

Finally, the third time he told her they got it. He was able to sit up and she got an ice bag out for him. She heard a car door slam. It was Charlie and he'd stopped off to get Sue, that's what had taken him so long.

Sue double checked Brady's arm. "Nice job, Bella."

"He did the work. I just held on and pushed against it."

Brady was anxious to get back outside, but Sue told him those ligaments were still lax if he phased immediately it could pop back out. He, at least wanted to see if he could hear or smell anything in the air.

He came back inside and told them some of them were on their way back.

"Seth?"

"No, I think the pups and Quil."

All they could do was wait. Brady wouldn't let her by the door. She went back to check on Layla again, who was still sleeping.

Quil came in holding up Jordan with his brother's assistance.

Sue tended to him immediately. She was pretty sure his ankle was broken. Quil and Trevor looked virtually unscathed, maybe a couple of superficial scrapes that were almost healed.

"Quil, what the hell is going on out there?"

"There's at least five leeches. We already got two of them. They came out of nowhere on Sam and Collin earlier. It took a while to get us all in the right area, they were moving all around, back in the trees, into the water, you name it. I swear they knew the reservation like the back of their hands. How in the fuck would a leech know the lay of the land and us not catch their scents before?"

He was right, the way they described catching nomads before was them stumbling onto the reservation not expecting what was in store for them.

Brady responded, "That shit was planned."

"Hell yeah, no other explanation. They were hunting wolves, but they got more than they bargained for as long as they didn't bring a damn army."

Bella felt helpless. Charlie got them all some water to help keep them hydrated.

Quil said he was going back out, the pups and Brady needed to stay.

"I can go, I'm not hurt, " Trevor insisted.

"Jake said, no, stay with your brother."

"I'm not a baby, isn't that what Jacob always tells us?"

"Trevor, not now," Quil admonished him and Bella saw that stubborn streak he had, but plenty of the older guys were the same way.

Quil opened the door. She thought he was leaving, but he came right back in.

"They're coming back."

"Who?" Bella jumped up. She had to see for herself. Was it all of them? Were any others hurt? She looked around Quil, someone was being carried. "Oh my god, it's Seth. It's Seth!" she screamed. She was going to take off to meet them and see why he wasn't walking on his own.

Quil grabbed her around the waist, "No, Bella...wait, you aren't going out in the open."

Leah and Sam were carrying Seth and everyone but Paul, Embry and Jacob were following them.

"Mom," Leah yelled.

"I'm here," Sue stepped on the porch.

"They threw him into a tree, he's unconscious."

"Get him inside, so I can have a look." Sue had them take him into the bedroom. Seth looked like he was asleep, he really didn't look that banged up.

"Bella, let me examine him, you check on the others."

"But I want to be with Seth."

"Honey, give me a couple of minutes." The rest of them were getting into the first aide kit. Jared needed his hands cleaned up. They were a bloody mess with all kinds of debris in his cuts. Sam and Leah looked fine, they stayed in the bedroom with Seth and Sue.

Collin was taking care of his own scrapes and bruises. She was almost out of ice after passing it around for ice packs. She took a peak at Jordan's ankle and it was seriously bruised, but didn't look as swollen as it had been. Charlie put his arm around her. "I'm sure he's fine. His mom is just being extra careful. You're a mom now, you know how it is?"

"Yeah, you're right, but I can' stand it, I have to go check again."

"Go Bells, I'll help these guys out."

She pushed open her door "Is he waking up?"

"Yes, come over Bella. Talk to him. His pupils are reactive. He's going to be fine. Its a concussion most likely."

"Seth, can you hear me?"

"Bella," he whispered.

"We'll leave you two alone. Come on Lee."

"Thanks Leah...Sam for bringing him home to us."

Bella sat next to him and laid her head on his chest.

"Is this alright? Are you hurting any place else?"

"I hurt all over, but don't move. Your touch makes it better."

"Seth, I was so worried when I saw you and you weren't moving. What happened? What's this about?"

"Is Jake back?"

"No, why? Was he hurt? Seth, were the rest of them okay? Paul, Jake and Embry are still out there. Shouldn't some of the others go after them?"

"No, they're finishing up. We got all of them."

"Are you sure, all five of them?"

"Yeah, there was one more, the leader; but Jake handled her all alone."

"Her? For a second I worried Edward was behind this, but it was a female? How'd she know all about the pack?"

Bella could see Seth was still groggy from the trauma. She thought she should stop asking him a thousand questions and find out the rest from Leah or Sam.

"Seth, rest I'll go check on the others."

Bella went into the living area to find all eyes on her. "He's better she announced, but he needs rest." Paul was back in the house by then, she ran into his arms, "I'm so glad you're okay, where's Jake? Does Embry need help? He can come inside."

"No, hummingbird...Embry wasn't hurt. He and Quil went back out to double check the area. Most the rest of us are going to go out to help. Jake's on the porch, he's got a pretty deep cut on his chest, if you want to take the kit out. He wants to talk to you alone."

Bella gathered up the kit. Sue went back to check on Seth. Brady, Trevor and Jordan were still camped out on the sofa.

Charlie was busying himself trying to clean up all the bandages, ice bags and dirty rags.

Bella walked out on the porch not sure what to expect. He reached for her and she let him hold her in his arms. He held on tightly. She didn't care that he was bleeding all over her clothes. She was so relieved to see all of them in relatively good shape after such a shock. He kissed the side of her head. "You and Layla okay?"

"Yeah, Jake...she slept through everything."

"Good. Thanks for taking care of everyone." Bella started to clean his deep gash which traveled from his pec, down his rib cage and onto his abdomen. He flinched and she suspected some of those ribs were broken.

"Jacob, do you know what happened?"

"I have a few guesses."

"Well, Quil said they knew the area and Seth said a woman was the leader. How Jake? How'd they know?"

"Bella, it was Nadia."

"What?"

"The female vampire was Nadia," he said again.

She was trying to wrap her head around what he was saying. How was Nadia a vampire?

"I...I don't understand. "

"It's a mindfuck, I know...I had to destroy her."

"Oh my god, Jake, are you okay?"

"If you meant was it difficult to rip her to shreds and burn her? No, it wasn't. I had no choice and the Nadia I knew before was already dead, there was no trace of her."

"So some how she'd been turned and she held a grudge against the wolves. Is that what happened?"

"Here's the thing, those other five were wild and feral. They were different, maybe they were new ones, I don't know. There were fast and strong as shit, but not too smart. She was different. She'd been trained."

"By whom?"

"She looked me directly in the eye and you'll never believe what I saw."

"What?"

"Golden eyes, she was the only one out of the group of those red-eyed fuckers. Nadia was a sadistic bitch as a human. The odds of her becoming a vamp by chance and deciding to feed on animals only is slim to none. Think back to her mysterious disappearance, she was broken out of jail. Someone made her and I think you know exactly who it was."

**_~Thanks so much for reading. _**

**_Some of you may have thought I forgot about that witch, but I never forget. _**


	50. Chapter 50

_**Chapter warning: This is an emotional chapter, A/N at the end...**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**_

Chapter 48

_"Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped in the water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects." ~Dalia Lama_

Her mind screamed EDWARD! How had she ever been involved with him? After being in the midst of the wolf pack, she had no idea what she ever saw in him. She'd been completely delusional as teen. She was never going to argue with Jacob again about him. He had to be stopped. The fact that he knew so much about them was damn right frightening. She still held out hope the rest of the family wasn't helping him, but then why weren't they stopping him?

Bella got Jacob to move into the bathroom, so she could clean the filth out of his cut easier. He told her the gash was made with Nadia's long fingernails. She shivered, thinking of the first time she saw her manicured nails, stake their claim along the back of Jacob's neck in front of her. None of her memories of her were pleasant. She couldn't wait to wash all traces of her away, so that Jacob would heal.

Her hands were as gentle as they could be on his skin. She washed the front of his body and put the antiseptic that he hated across the wound. He put his hand on her hip and pulled her closer. Jacob let his head fall against her. She wrapped her arms around his head. He needed to feel her, know that she was safe. The threat of Nadia on the reservation and her group of bloodsuckers hunting them all was starting to sink in. Jacob continued to cling to her taking deep breaths, and she rubbed the back of his head and whispered encouraging words to him, "I'm safe Jake, Layla's safe, you protected us; like you always will."

She glanced at the door and saw Seth standing there with Layla in his arms. He was up and around, she knew he must be better or he wouldn't have picked up the baby. She started to say something, but he shook his head, and mouthed, "It's fine." He walked away after that.

Jacob had to have known he was standing there watching them, but he obviously didn't care, his need for her superseded his desire for appearances. "Jake, tell me what I can do to help." He didn't answer, he just kept holding onto her. "Whatever you have to do, I'll support you, we all will."

Finally, he said something. He pulled his head off her and looked in her eyes. "First, I make sure my pack is healed and then we hunt down Edward Cullen, and we destroy him."

"Okay, what if I try and get Alice to respond to me? I use to have an email address."

"No, that could warn him. You said those two were close."

"Yes, but I can't imagine the family condoning what he's been up to."

"Well, we need a few days to heal and build our strength back. We'll make a plan after that."

Bella could hear Layla crying in the other room. She checked his wound again and felt it was going to continue to heal. She really needed a new shirt and to wash her hands and arms before she checked on the baby. "Can I have a minute in here?"

"Of course, I'll be with the guys."

He left her in the bathroom alone. She pulled off her shirt and grabbed one of Seth's that was on the towel rack. She washed her face, arms and hands thoroughly and watched as the pink water swirled down the drain.

Seth was feeding Layla one of her pumped milk bottles. "You got her?"

"Yeah, she didn't want it at first but she's fine now. Why don't you go take a shower?"

"Okay," She looked around and saw only Leah, Sam, Jacob and Paul remained. Jared went home to Kim but everyone else was running extra patrols to be on the safe side. The hot spray of the shower did it's job of washing away the past couple of hours. She didn't have it in her to cry. She'd wasted years crying over Edward. Her current situation with her men was complicated enough, but at least it wasn't dangerous. He had to be a truly sadistic monster to do what he'd done; capturing and training Jacob's ex to come back and destroy the wolves. She could only imagine that he saw them as the obstacle between her returning to him. He had to know she was a mother if Alice sent those baby gifts and yet he still was willing to send those monsters within miles of her home with her daughter. She'd actually stayed in til the water ran cold. She hadn't done that since Layla was born because she was usually in a hurry. When she got back in the living room, she was a little surprised to see Jacob holding Layla. He hadn't asked to hold her since the hospital. Leah pulled her aside and told her all the things Sue said to watch with Seth. Despite his rapid healing ability, she still needed to treat him like a head injury victim because he was. Bella didn't want to think about how hard he hit that tree in the forest.

Eventually, they all left Bella and Seth alone. She made some lunch and they enjoyed some playtime on the floor with Layla. Seth brought up what was fast approaching. "Our anniversary's almost here. I can't believe it's been a year."

"I know, a pretty eventful one," she remarked as she held their daughter's hands and did some movements with her that were supposed help strengthen her trunk muscles.

"Not sure what's going to happen over the next week or so, but I'd like to do something special for you if I can."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, maybe we could go spend the night someplace, have a romantic dinner, just get away from everything." She couldn't help but add the word, everyone in her mind. She knew he had to have felt that way pretty often. No matter how understanding he tried to be, their life together was complicated.

"But I can't leave Layla."

"You could...just take your breast pump. You could leave Mom with a bunch of frozen milk. I haven't asked, but she'd watch her. Even Leah would watch her."

"I know they both take excellent care of her, but I'm not ready Seth. She's barely two months. Why don't we stay nearby? They could watch her a few hours instead of overnight. We could go to that hibachi place that we went on our first date and maybe go see a movie. We never get to do that."

"Okay, but next anniversary we're going out of town."

"Sounds like a plan," she crawled closer to him and he put his arm around her. She kissed him. It started out as a simple kiss, but he had a lot more on his mind. He too probably needed her touch and comfort after such a trying afternoon. She knew how to calm the wolf, but Layla had taken that long nap.

"Mmm, Seth...we can't," she pushed at his chest.

"Get her to take a nap."

"She isn't tired, look at her. She slept for hours while everything was going on. I probably can't get her to sleep until later this evening."

Seth rolled over to his stomach in front of Layla, she was smiling at him. He kissed her on the tip of the nose. "You're lucky you're so cute and that I love you so much, cuz you're really cramping my style, little one."

Bella was enjoying watching them when she heard her cell ringing from the kitchen counter. She hopped up to answer it.

"Hey Dad, what's up?"

Charlie got straight to the point. There was a letter for her in the mailbox when he got home. He'd already called Jacob, and he thought she and Seth should get there as soon as possible. There was no return address, but the postmark was from Alaska.

They quickly packed a diaper bag for Layla and headed into Forks to see who sent that letter and what it said. Jake arrived about the same time they did. Charlie handed the letter to Bella and she opened it up. She quickly realized it was from Rose which was definitely not what she was expecting.

_Bella,_

_I'm sure you're surprised to hear from me. I know it appeared I never really liked you. I didn't really, but it was more than that. It had a lot more to do with the fact you didn't belong with us. Good thing you realized that before it was too late. However, I feel the need to let you know, Edward never let it go. He was certain after you had a few life experiences you'd come back to him. He went into a rage when he found out about your entanglement with the pack of wolves. He's convinced they've done something to you. We've all tried to get him to move on, but he has not. It eventually got so bad, Carlisle suggested he leave. It was hard for him and Esme to see what had become of the golden child, but he never fooled me. He's incredibly selfish and spoiled. The only reason Alice saw you with a child was because she was desperate to figure out what Edward was up to. None of us know where he has been, but he actually showed up here yesterday. He eluded to some scheme, but he did tell Emmett that if it fell through, he had more options. Alice had a vision of a boarding pass to Italy. That is all we know, but the family felt compelled to let you know he is not right in the head any longer and he is completely obsessed, even more so than when you were a couple. Maybe being far away is a good thing, but Carlisle is worried he's about to make a decision he can never take back or escape from. I will do anything I can to help since you are a mother now. I know your child must be the most important thing in your life and you should never worry about her safety._

_I'll be in touch. I will set up a PO Box if you need to correspond with us._

_Rose_

Bella read it out loud. Seth and Jacob were concerned it might be a trick, but she had an overwhelming feeling the whole time that Edward's family never supported him. It had something to do with how Jasper acted that day he drove her away from the airport. Alice had never really listened, she only wanted Bella to be back in her life again, but Jasper was very uncomfortable. The letter is what she hoped would convince them to all stay in La Push.

Jacob asked what they were all wondering, "Why Italy?"

At first, she had no clue, but she thought about it and finally remembered that there was some sort of vampire royalty; they were in Italy. She didn't remember much else about them because she had that disastrous birthday and then Edward abandoned her in the woods.

Jacob said they had no choice but to wait and trust that the rest of the Cullen's were telling the truth. That didn't mean the pack would let up by any means. They were going to train for whatever they might face.

* * *

Bella and Seth were on the way out of their movie. They had enjoyed the hibachi dinner and went to the movies for their anniversary. She couldn't help but miss Layla because they had already been gone a long while. It was already after 10, but Seth was on his phone checking in with his mom.

"She's sound asleep, lets go home for a little while," he wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Come on, sweetheart; no chance of getting interrupted."

"Sure, but we aren't falling asleep. We're still going to pick up her," Bella made sure he knew that part before they went home to have a little one on one time to complete their anniversary celebration.

It was true, a baby changed everything. Not only did she have to feed Layla at least ten times a day, she also had to find chances to pump so she could freeze milk for times she left her with Seth to go to the store or for Sue and Charlie to babysit. That was a full time job in itself, but she was happy she decided to do it. She still had to cook and clean and she worked on language lessons whenever she could. Bella was the first to admit being attentive to her husband's needs had dropped to the bottom of the list, but it wasn't intentional. She usually passed out as soon as she hit the bed, but she was getting a little better. Seth was never too bad about complaining, but she knew he was frustrated a few times. And all the attention, she use to give to Paul was also pretty much non existent. The only time he'd get to spend with her was when he would show up at the house a couple of times a week while Seth was still working. He'd usually helped out with Layla so she could get some things done.

The thought about Jake's proposal that they get together soon and procreate was incredibly daunting. Not only was there so much to consider emotionally, she still hadn't broached the subject, not even with Paul who normally knew what she was thinking before anyone else; but she couldn't imagine the physical demands it would also bring.

Bella was coming off her high clinging to Seth's bare chest. He had done an excellent job at making her remember she was a woman, not just a mom.

"I love you, Seth. Thanks for making me see we needed this time together. I'm sorry that I've neglected you."

"No, I understand...we just need to make a point to shut out everything else sometimes and reconnect. I know you're exhausted. I'll try to do more around the house."

"You help out enough, my body was in shock for awhile. I had no idea it was going to be this challenging, but I'm finally adjusting." She kissed her husband another time. "But now, I'm really going to need you to go get my baby and bring her back to me."

He laughed, but he knew she was going to insist on that, so right before midnight, he took off to his mother's to get their daughter and bring her back home.

~o0o0o0o0o0o~

Summer was in full swing and they were having a particularly hot one. Layla was already five months and was so amazing to watch. She was changing and growing so fast everyday. Bella loved to make her laugh. She was the spitting image of her father: same cheeks, same dimples, his hair color, his eyes. She wondered what her DNA actually contributed. Seth said she had her nose, ears and fingers. She was actually thrilled she had his happy, outgoing personality. Layla loved being around the pack, they all had a knack at keeping her happy and laughing. Of course, the problem with Embry still existed. Even though, he was only one member, it made them feel split when he couldn't come over for get-togethers. Since the days were warm and nice, he had tried some outdoor barbecues with them but Bella wanted to be able to bring Layla out in the sunshine as well. It was like walking a tightrope, but Embry was actually very determined not to look in her eyes, so that he would protect them both from the unnatural bond between a full grown man and a baby. He'd become stronger and didn't feel the need to see her like in the beginning. The whole pack was stronger as a whole. They worked together like a well oiled machine.

Rose had sent another letter, but she had no real news other than giving Bella a PO Box. Carlisle couldn't find Edward nor were Alice's visions helpful. Bella was surprised that Jacob wanted to be the one to write the letter. He laid down the law. He issued a stern warning to the Cullen's if they were hiding anything from him. He wanted any and every detail they had about Edward. Bella hoped everyday, that Edward finally found something else to interest him. Maybe if he was traveling in Europe, he was finding a way to move on. He had to have known how strong the pack was and how they destroyed Nadia and her group of vamps precisely and quickly even though they were ambushed. He wasn't going to have a chance to get to her.

Bella was curled up in Seth's warm embrace. The summer months made it increasingly difficult not to burn up next to him, but she was enjoying the feel of his warm skin on hers. She secretly thought she'd been right, having Layla had made things a lot better between them. There were both determined to be better partners to one another and the best parents to Layla. She knew those other attachments still existed with Jacob and Paul, but she still maintained that Seth had to come first since she'd married him and he was the father of her child. It was hard for her to imagine also forming the parental bond with Jacob, but one day, they both believed that it had to be done. The curse needed to be lifted. It was evident their feelings for one another still existed, and she had no idea how to balance out those feelings, that's why the two of them had been more distant since Layla's birth. She and Jacob decided to wait til the baby was six months and then they were going to discuss it with Seth. She only meant talk first, not act on it then. Hopefully, he was secure enough in their relationship to accept it.

"I still feel bad I can't go with you and Dad tomorrow, it's such momentous day."

"It's fine, I'd much rather you be home with our daughter than having to relive the day, that creep shot Charlie." Finally, after two years, Seth was going to testify against Mark Wilson. The prosecution assured Seth his testimony would put the proverbial nail in the coffin. Actually they were asking for life, but same difference; he would never be free again if things went well. He could get as little as 25 years, but with his record, the prosecution was more hopeful. Opening arguments went well that morning and testimony was starting first thing in the morning. Bella could tell he was nervous.

"Seth, you know you'll be perfect."

"I hope so, it's still so weird...the way that guy reacted to me at the jail."

"Well, it isn't like he's going to jump up and say you're lying that he shot you too. That would be the dumbest move in history to admit to shooting another cop while on trial for only shooting one. Who cares? It can eat away at his mind forever what might have happened as long as he pays for what he did."

"Yeah, you're right, he just makes me feel uneasy; even today at opening arguments, I saw him staring at me a few times."

"Well, I'm going to be so proud of you. When you get home, Layla and I are throwing a party for you with all your favorite foods."

"A party huh, with just my two favorite girls?"

"Yeah, I figure after the verdict we could have a real party with everyone either here or at Sue's."

Bella had been use to getting a lot more sleep lately until a couple of nights ago. She swore Layla was already starting to teeth. She'd been getting up and down a lot the past week. Bella and Seth were lucky to get a few hours alone. She was quickly becoming drowsy.

"Bella, before you fall asleep. Thanks," he kissed her again.

"For not falling asleep on you or leaving you alone to sleep in Layla's room?"

"No, just thanks for loving me. You take good care of me and our daughter and you put up with all my crazy pack brothers and sister. I know some things might have to change one day," she wasn't sure if he meant what she thought he did, but she didn't want to spoil their special moment and ask. "It's just really good right now and I'm grateful. I hope you know that."

She lifted her head so she could kiss him again. "Love you, Seth."

"You too, Bella, more than you know."

* * *

Bella woke up on the twin bed in Layla's room. She thought she was finally going to have a good night, but about four, she started crying and she had a hard time getting her to settle back down. She knew she was in pain, but there was very little she could do for her. She kept the door closed hoping not to wake up Seth since he had to leave so early for court. He was meeting Charlie and a bunch of other officers at the station and they were riding up to the courthouse since it was a few hours away in another county. It really didn't matter where she went with Layla, he'd hear her no matter what, but he never complained. If he didn't have court all day, he would have gotten up and walked with her. She wanted to get up and see him off, but she must have been so tired she didn't hear the shower come on in the morning

Layla babbled from the crib. She was a completely different person during the day, she was never fussy or cranky. She knew this kind of thing went on with babies her age. She'd even asked the pediatrician about it at her check up a few weeks before.

Layla's doctor commented how healthy and alert she seemed. She was also tall on the growth chart, in the 95th percentile for females. Bella knew she didn't get it from her, but she wondered if that gene was going to be ignited in her daughter one day. Maybe if the pack found Edward and did away with his threat, a new generation would be spared.

"Come on my sweet angel, let's get up and get our day started."

Bella saw the coffee had come on, thanks to her thoughtful hubby, so she made some oatmeal to go with her fruit. Layla wasn't eating any solids yet, but the doctor told her over the next month or two she could start introducing cereal and then fruit and vegetables. Bella had started to reconsider going back to Forks Elementary. Grandfather suggested how badly the reservation needed teachers, but since they couldn't pay as much, they had a hard time finding new ones. Seth was all for it. Jacob said it would be much easier on the pack to know she was on the reservation during the day. She was leaning towards it. She could help bring back teaching the language in the school plus she'd be much closer to Layla. She'd miss Kate, maybe she could lure her on the reservation as well since Reese was Quileute. She had taught her so much, more than she learned in college.

Bella picked up a squeaky book to read to Layla after breakfast. Layla laughed at the sounds made from the book. She eventually put her in the bouncy seat while she cleaned the bathroom and swept the kitchen. She had the steaks marinating that she was putting on for their dinner. She checked her phone, but no messages. Seth wouldn't have his phone on in open court, so she'd have to wait almost all day to hear from him. He wasn't sure if he was going right before lunch or after. She couldn't wait for the whole thing to be over. As much as she despised this guy, it was weird to think that what he'd done essentially brought her back to Forks. She isn't sure if she'd had the courage to leave her comfort zone in the back of Renee and Phil's house. She couldn't picture moving back to Charlie's without the emergency. It had changed the entire course of her life, of all their lives. She looked at Layla who was starting to rub her tired eyes. It so strange how one decision can affect so many other things. She stood up with Layla to take her back to her room.

She couldn't help staring at the collage made by her Aunt Leah. Leah was doing an excellent job at documenting the pack. It was for fun, but also for their history. She'd become an impressive photographer. Sam had bought her some really nice equipment for her birthday. A couple of weeks ago she'd insisted they sit for family photo. Bella and Seth were on the picnic table and Layla was in a playful mood. Leah captured some great candids and she'd made a collage for her room. She couldn't help but especially love the one she managed of Jacob, Seth, Paul, Layla and Bella. Paul insinuated himself in one of the last family pics as a joke. Leah told him to get lost, but he planted his butt next to Bella and threw his arm over her shoulder. She took some to humor him. Then she suggested Jacob join in the party, "Come on Alpha, it could be important documentation for the tribe one day. You know that this is..." Leah drew her famous square in the air, "real."

Jacob stood stoic off to the side shaking his head no.

But it was Bella that asked again. "Jake, come on...take a picture with us so Layla will have this for her collection."

He finally squeezed in the back and placed his hand on the back of Layla's head and the other on Bella's shoulder.

She would have never thought almost two years before they'd ever have such a moment. At any given time, one or more of them might have been falling apart or losing it, but at that moment in time, they were all happy. She stared at the picture each time she saw it. Bella started rocking her daughter as she curled up against her mother to nurse. Layla held Bella's hand as she fed. Bella was enjoying the serenity of the moment. "I promise, you're always going to be loved. You helped heal all of us and we'll all do what's best for you." It was the truth. The start of the next generation had put things in perspective for all of them.

As soon as Bella got Layla settled in her crib, she herself felt like a nap wasn't such a bad idea. She thought she could at least grab a short one. Seth would be late and the house was fairly clean. She really needed a recharge after the night she'd had with the baby. It didn't take long before she was drifting off asleep. She was nestled against Seth's pillow, it was the most comforting way to get to sleep when he wasn't there. A loud clap of thunder shook her from her rest. They must be getting another summer storm. The house was extremely dark for the middle of the day. She hoped the thunder didn't wake the baby. She looked at the clock and realized she had been asleep almost an hour. If she was lucky, Layla would be out another hour. She decided to get up and maybe do some reading. She tiptoed in Layla's room, she hadn't stirred in the least, so she carefully pulled the door shut. She went in the kitchen and grabbed some leftover salad and a glass of juice. She curled up on the couch and had a late lunch. She'd just opened her book when another clap of thunder rattled the windows. Bella caught a chill and a shiver went through her body. Then she swore she heard a wolf howl. Was it a pack howl or a regular wolf? She knew Seth usually heard those even when she didn't. She sat her book back down and carried her plate to the sink.

She took a look out her window, and she saw him. Jacob was walking out of the woods in the rain. He wasn't fast approaching, it looked as if he was taking his time, but she really became concerned by the look on his face. Something was wrong, she knew it and she was soon very afraid to open the door and hear what he had to say. She was about ready to go to the door and let him in when she saw Paul also stumble out of the woods. He didn't even have his shorts on, so she turned her head away a split second. Jacob was approaching but Paul was rushing to catch up. He was finally, jerking on a pair of shorts as he moved through the grass.

If she would have known or had one clue what they were doing, then maybe she would have postponed opening up that front door, but how could she have known they were both there to change the course of her life forever.

* * *

"Jake, Paul, you're both soaking. Hold on, let me grab some towels."

She ran to the kitchen and grabbed a few towels for each of them. They patted themselves off as best as they could. Both of them were staring blankly at her.

"What's wrong? You both look lost. Tell me, what is it? Do you know something about Edward?" That had been the highest priority since the attack.

Finally Jacob opened his mouth. His voice for once was shaky and broken, "Bells, I...I think we should all have a seat."

"Well, if you two are going to sit on my couch, I'm getting bigger towels, your shorts are still wet. Hold on."

She came back in the room. She tossed the towels to them and they sat them over the couch before sitting down with her. In truth, she was stalling. They knew it and so did she. The look on their faces had scared her before they got to the house.

"Bells, I don't know how to say this."

"Just tell me Jake. What is it? Paul?" Maybe he'd tell her.

He looked away. That had never happened before.

She felt her body starting to react. She felt like a weight was on her chest. Jake couldn't speak and Paul couldn't look at her. It was bad...really bad, but what was it?

"Did something happen to someone? Don't make me sit here and guess? Is it Kim and the baby?" Kim still had a month to go with her pregnancy.

"No, Kim's fine and stop. I'm not going to make you guess. Please, let me say it. Bella, something happened today...at the courthouse, honey."

The court house narrowed it down, but how would Jacob know anything about that, she hadn't even heard from Seth.

"The trial? Something's wrong with the trial?" She hoped there wasn't a mistrial or some glitch like that. They needed that ordeal over.

Jacob got off the spot he was sitting on and got down on his knees in front of her. He grabbed both of her hands. She could see how bloodshot and pained his eyes were. She nodded, giving him the permission he needed to get it out. "I'm so sorry, Bella, but somehow that guy got his hands on a gun. Honey, he shot Seth as he was leaving the courtroom."

She started shaking. She pushed up and released his hands. "Oh my god, take me to him right now, Paul can you stay with Layla? Where is he Jake? Is he alright?"

Jacob had followed her closely. He pulled her into him and held her tight.

"No Bella, he's not. I can't believe it, but honey, he didn't make it."

What was Jacob saying to her? Didn't make it. Make it where?

"Please Jacob, take me to Seth. He needs me."

"No, it's too late. I was there. Kelsee got some jumbled vision this morning and she told me to go without any details, so I ran full force towards the courthouse. I was outside and I heard the shot and I forced my way inside. Seth was on the floor in Charlie's arms. The guy wasn't shackled for court. He jumped up before anyone knew what was happening after Seth's testimony. He was almost to the exit apparently before the screams rang out. He turned towards the scene and the guy got the shot off. It went through his neck. He didn't have a chance. Charlie caught him and went down to the floor with him. The maniac was screaming, 'Just watch while he heals. You'll see, I'm not crazy.' He wouldn't put down the gun and another bailiff shot and killed him. Bells, I know this is so unbelievable, but I was there. It happened honey."

She continued to try and seek out another outcome, "But he's right Seth would have healed. Jacob why isn't he healing, maybe he needs surgery?"

"No, it must of severed his spinal cord, we can't come back from that just like any other human. I checked him and there was no life left. We've lost him, he's gone."

She felt the tears fill her eyes and flood down her cheeks. This was a nightmare, she hadn't woken up from her nap. This wasn't real. Seth was too young to be dead. He was strong, it wasn't possible for him to be taken down by a single bullet. He'd survived it before and he'd survive it again. Jacob had to be mistaken. _Wake up, Bella, _she screamed in her mind.

She turned back to Paul. "Please Paul tell Jake, he's wrong. Were you there too?"

He took her in his arms, "No, hummingbird but we were all just in Jacob's thoughts. We saw it, I'm sorry. It happened just as he said." He held her face in his hands, and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm so sorry baby. We love you. We'll help you, the pack is here for you. Whatever you need...whatever bumblebee needs; we'll take care of both of you."

She screamed, it was all starting to sink in, "Layla...no, my baby. She can't grow up without a father. Seth was the perfect father to her. NO, NO NO! Please Jacob, do something. This can't be happening."

She felt like she was drowning, suffocating in her own tears. No matter how much she begged them to tell her it wasn't true they kept sticking to the story that Seth was really dead. She vaguely remembered hearing Layla's cries. She needed to go to her, take care of her, hold her; but how would she ever reassure her again that everything would be alright? They'd lost Seth. Bella was widow and Layla was fatherless.

"I need to see her."

"Wait...Paul's calling Kim. I think it'd be best if she watched her while the news sinks in. You don't want her to see you like this."

"No, I need to be with her."

"Bella, a few hours and then Paul can bring her back."

She didn't have the will to argue but she did walk back to the nursery where Paul was getting her ready to go with her Aunt Kim. She looked at her smile at her Uncle Paul, Seth's smile; at least she'd always be able to see it on her face as a reminder. She ran back to her room, their room and threw herself on the bed. Hours before he'd held her there and they talked til she fell asleep. He'd made love to her before that. There was no way for her to have known it would have been the last time she'd ever feel his touch. She clung to the sheets and buried her face in his pillow. How could that be all that was left of him? A calming scent ingrained in the fabric. She wondered how long it would last. She never wanted to wash it away. She tossed and turned, screamed and cried before curling up in a ball. She heard the gentle tapping at the door, but refused to acknowledge it. Eventually, Jacob cracked the door open and peered in.

"Bella, Kim's here. Do you want to see her?"

"Get out of here Jake. You can't be in our room," she screamed. "GO!"

"I'm sorry, I'm not coming in, but what do I tell Kim? Do you have any instructions? Paul packed the bag and her bottles. Do you want to tell her goodbye? I don't know what to do to help."

"Nothing, no one can help me, just leave. I'll come out and see Kim, but then you and Paul need to leave. I want to be alone."

A few minutes went by before she pulled herself off the bed. She looked at herself in the mirror and attempted to compose herself because she didn't want to scare her daughter. She went out to the living room. Kim ran to her and pulled her close to her hugely pregnant belly. Bella thought immediately about the contrast between life and death. Kim was carrying life and death had just swallowed up Seth so unfairly with no rhyme or reason.

Kim carried on, she was also crying. Bella was a little worried about her driving Layla, but she told her Jared's mom was in the car. She was going to help out. Bella managed to hold it together long enough to give Layla a kiss on her rounded cheek. "I love you," she whispered on the top of her head. Paul had already given her all the instructions and Kim had spent hours around Layla, she knew what to do. Once they were gone, she again told Jacob and Paul to leave, but they both shook their heads.

Knowing that Layla was safely out of the house, allowed her to finally lose it completely. She started to scream and basically lose all control. She sounded like a crazy person who'd been locked away behind bars. She didn't want them staring at her why she tried to come to terms with what had happened.

"Go, leave me. I need to get use to being alone."

"Bella you'll never be alone, totally. I know nothing will ever be the same. Yes, you lost a husband and Layla lost her father, but we all lost a brother and a friend. Sue lost her son. We all need to stick together if we're ever going to survive this," Jacob was trying to calm her with his words. She knew how much they all were hurting, but her hurt was so great; it was hard to shoulder theirs as well.

"I don't even feel like surviving Jake. How fair is that to Seth? He's gone and we all just keep living happy and healthy like everything's fine. I failed him and I can never make it up to him. He deserved more than I was able to give. I was doing so much better since the baby...we were better and now you come in her and tell me he's gone, but I have to find a way to keep going. How, Jake...how am I supposed to do that?" She was already starting to lose her voice. It was like all the strength inside of her could be heard fading away.

"No, that's not what I'm saying, but he'd want you to live and for you to eventually be happy, to take care of his daughter. Bella, you know he was happy, and he never regretted loving you. This has nothing to do with our situation, it was a random act of violence by a psychopath. Don't you dare start trying to blame yourself. This isn't your fault. Are you saying you want to give up? That's just your grief talking."

She knew what Jacob was saying was rational, and when he'd mentioned Sue she felt like her heart was going to explode in her chest. She needed to go to Sue and Leah, but she didn't know if she had it in her just yet.

"I can't do this. I'm not strong enough. I can't survive this."

She fell on her knees and sobbed into the floor. She was frozen. She felt like she had slipped away. Jacob's and Paul's voices could be heard around her but she didn't know what they were saying. Eventually, one of them lifted her up and carried her to the couch. "Bella, I think we need to give you something to help you rest. Paul's getting a sedative out of the first aide kit. I don't want to do it without your permission, but honey you're wrecking yourself. I think you need to go to sleep, so that you can preserve some of your strength for all the lies ahead. Is it okay? Can we give you a shot?"

She wanted to scream at him, "Hell no, you cannot. I don't want to sleep," but she did not have the will to even open her mouth again. She watched through blurry eyes as Paul held up the syringe. She felt the cool wetness of the alcohol and then a pinch on her arm. He brushed his hand over her forehead again. She thought she was so far gone, even drugs weren't going to do the trick, but soon a warm, black fog covered her and she was relieved. No light, no noise, no pain and no reality that Seth was no longer in her world.

_**~A/N I know I have taken all of you on a wild ride and this may have done some of you in, but it was in the cards the whole time. The hints were there, scattered throughout the story. I tried to spin it a thousand different ways, but this was my vision for the story. Losing a main character was such a hard thing to write, I have started and stopped this for over a week. I even started new stories to avoid writing it, but in the end I went with my original idea for the story. Bear with me through the next five chapters and know that everything happens for a reason.**_

_**Thanks, as always for reading and encouragement! **_


	51. Chapter 51

**_~A/N Thanks so much for all the heartfelt reviews. This one is also a little tough. _**

Chapter 49

_Bella was so relieved to see Seth smiling back at her. She had been right, it was a terrible nightmare. She started to gush about the entire ordeal, but he never responded._

_"Seth, it was horrible. Jake said Mark Wilson shot you. You're right, maybe, you should take extra precautions before you go back to the courtroom."_

_Seth didn't acknowledge what she was saying. Instead, he helped her up on the shopping cart. Why were they at the grocery store all of the sudden? She didn't remember driving there, where was Layla? He climbed behind her and shoved them off with his foot. He pulled her hands from the handle and held them straight out with his arms. They were flying, she couldn't even see the store parking lot anymore._

_She had so much she needed to tell him, but it was all forgotten. His warmth pressed up against her back and his laughter rang through her ears. Nothing mattered, they were together again, just like that first day she'd met him when he first caught her eye._

"Bells, baby..." a low voice halted her fantasy. "Bells, people are here, do you want to get up?" Charlie asked his baby girl.

"Dad?" an unrecognizable voice came from her mouth. She didn't know if it was day or night.

"Yeah, Bells, I'm here. You don't have to come out here, but I wish you'd come eat something. Paul said he's almost out of milk. Do you want them to get some formula?"

"No, I'll feed her. I need to, it's been a while since I pumped." She could feel a heaviness in her chest, she hadn't been pumping enough. She also had to dump out what she got after taking sleeping medicine.

"You still taking medicine?"

"No, I haven't had anymore since yesterday."

That first day had been an absolute blur. She barely remembered the next day when she had to go meet with Sue, Charlie and Leah. They all went to the funeral home together. Leah made most of the decisions, Bella and Sue were still in such a state of shock. There was going to be two services the following day. She had no idea how to live through one funeral, but she had to go to the official one with full police honors and then a traditional service with the tribe.

"You want me to bring the baby?"

"No, Dad...I need to go wash my face and wake up. I'll take her in her room. How many people are here?"

"A few, mainly pack, but your school friend, Kate is out there. Most people are just dropping off food. You aren't going to have enough space, I'll take what Sue can't keep. Take your time, honey. No one expects you to be a host."

Bella peeked out her door to make sure no one was in the hall before she ran back to the bathroom to try and get herself a little more presentable. She went to Layla's room where Paul was trying to keep her content. Layla's eyes widened when she saw her mother.

"Come here sweetie," Bella kissed her sweet check and breathed in her scent. She sat in the rocking chair and started to give her daughter some sustenance and herself some relief. Her mind had shut down but her body had maintained what it was use to. She had only nursed her daughter two other times since the news, and she'd been relying on her stored supply for others to feed her.

Paul stayed with them. She knew he'd taken over the majority of Layla's care, because she was use to him more than anyone else. "Thanks for taking care of her."

"I was happy to do it, hummingbird. You know that. It was good to stay busy."

Paul stood over them and kissed her head, "I'll let you two have some privacy. If you don't want anyone here, I'll get them to go. Tell me what you want."

She had no idea, but people just wanted to offer their condolences and help out the family, so they wouldn't have to cook. She wanted to at least say thank you.

"No, give me a few more minutes and I'll come out."

She hadn't seen all their faces since it happened. She knew it was going to be an emotional reunion. Layla ended up looking fully recharged after nursing. She changed her diaper and decided to join everyone in the front of the house. Kate was sitting next to Kim on the sofa. She stood up and hugged her.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. If you need any help with the baby, you know I'm free all summer."

Bella nodded. She knew she might have to take her up on that offer. She put Layla in her exerciser so she could spin and bounce. It would keep her entertained for awhile.

She looked around and was relieved everyone else was pack. Charlie said Joseph and his wife, as well as his daughter and the twins had dropped off a couple of casseroles. Kim was keeping track of who brought what. She was lucky she had so many people taking care of her and Layla. Renee and Phil had landed and were on the way after checking in their hotel. They'd only been once when Layla was two weeks old.

She noticed one woman off to the side that she hadn't seen before. Quil walked over to her and put his arm around her. Then she remembered he was seeing someone, but she hadn't been introduced yet.

She took a deep breath and made her way to her side. "Hi, I'm Bella," she held out her hand to the timid, blonde woman. She looked shy and sweet, and Bella remembered Quil said she had a funny name, like he was one to talk.

"Hi, Bella, I'm Sadie...I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. I told Quil maybe I shouldn't be here, since I'm barely starting to meet his friends, but he said you wouldn't care. I hope it's alright."

"No, it's fine, Sadie. We're all a big family here and this is where we congregate." As soon as the words left her lips, she felt overwhelmed by despair. How could they continue to meet here? It didn't seem right anymore.

Quil picked up on her emotions and put his arm around her for support. "I've got you, Bella."

At every twist and turn inside the small home she'd made with Seth, were people that would help hold her up, but the one she wanted to feel at her side was no longer there. Kate came up to her next and led her back to the bar. She knew as good as anyone, what Bella liked to eat, they'd shared hundreds of lunches together. She had fixed her a plate. Bella's stomach turned, she'd barely eaten anything in two days.

"Come on, Bella...for baby girl. Try, there's some good stuff here." When she put it that way, she managed to get at least half the plate finished. Kim had started packing away dishes, figuring out who would take what, when the door opened. It was her mother. Of course, she was happy to see her, but Bella was more the type to keep her grieving private. Renee had the flair for the dramatic and she adored Seth. She told Bella many times, so she had the right to be upset like anyone else, but she wasn't prepared for everything her mother was bound to say.

"Oh, there she is...my poor, baby girl. Come here." Bella stood up to walk towards her mother in the center of the room; the center of attention. She was already feeling tense hearing Renee's words of pity. Would the whole world pity her from here on out?

Renee grabbed her and held Bella tightly and cried loudly. "How are you? Why are there so many people here?"

She didn't understand because she didn't know about the pack.

"Mom, I'm just trying to be strong enough to take care of Layla and these are our friends, they're all like family."

Renee held her cheeks and puckered out her lips, "How did this happen? It's so terrible, what's wrong with this state? A criminal gets his hands on a gun in open court, it's one of the worst things I've ever heard of."

Charlie came forward, "Renee, Bella doesn't need to hear the details again. I know she appreciates you coming, but she's had an emotional few days."

"I know that Charlie, I'm only trying to help."

Bella really didn't want to rehash the details again. Yes, there was some sort of security breach, and the whole thing was under investigation. She'd already heard how much tighter security was at the Clallam County courthouse. If it wouldn't have changed venues, then perhaps she wouldn't be standing in the midst of all these people who were staring at her, because they didn't know exactly what to say to a 25 year old widow with a young infant daughter to raise on her own. She couldn't rehash the what if's and if only's again. She was desperate to visit Kelsee, but she hadn't had the strength to do it yet. Bella had a hard time believing she knew this was going to happen and it was one of those times she didn't want to interfere. If that was the case, she wasn't sure how'd she ever forgive her.

She heard some commotion in the kitchen and she actually welcomed the distraction from her mother already. Kim found something leaking in Bella's fridge and she was too big to get on the ground and get it all cleaned up. Quil's girlfriend, Sadie had volunteered to take care of it. Bella hated for a stranger to get stuck doing her housework. She couldn't imagine what was messy inside there, she did a good job keeping it organized. When she saw Sadie lift that bag that contained her and Seth's steaks which were now a dark gray color, she completely lost it. She'd totally forgotten their special dinner, now spoiled and rotten. It was being tossed away in the trash.

"Wait..." she screamed. "Those were for Seth, I was making them for him!" All those previous thoughts about grieving privately had just exploded around them.

Sadie froze with a dripping bag of spoiled meat held over the trash. Kim started crying again. Quil rushed in and took the bag and whispered to his girlfriend. Renee pulled Bella away from the scene in her kitchen, "Sweetie, it's okay. Let them handle it."

"How is it okay, Mom? That's further proof that nothing lasts forever. Seth and I had plans that night. I promised him, but he never came home and now every plan we ever made is going to be buried right along with him tomorrow. How can I provide a home for Layla when there will always be a missing piece to our family? This is so unfair. I can't do this, I want it to stop. I'm sorry, I know you all loved him too." She didn't know how many more seconds her legs would hold her up, she felt shaky. Renee was trying to walk her away from everyone, but she couldn't move her feet. Charlie came to her side again. They all meant well, but nothing felt right. She hadn't even noticed Paul had picked Layla up and she was sound asleep in his arms. She needed to get a grip. She said she was trying for Layla, but that was hardly the truth. Maybe she'd take her from Paul and go back to the nursery and sleep with her, but that had been all she'd done for days.

The other alternative was to crumble in the middle of the floor, no matter how bad it was, she didn't want to do that. Before she had to make a choice, he walked through the front door and picked her up and cradled her in his arms. Jacob didn't say a word to anyone, when he walked out the front door with her, not even to her. She didn't want to know where they were headed. She closed her eyes and let him carry her wherever he thought she needed to go.

Jacob stopped walking, she heard water so she opened her eyes. He briefly sat her down, but once he was situated on the ground, he pulled her into his lap. "Where are we?"

"Not far from the house, you don't have to talk, Bells. I brought you here so you didn't have to talk anymore."

"I...I've never been here before." They were by a small stream, but not an area she remembered.

"I know, I chose it on purpose, so no memories would compete with your feelings."

"Thanks, Jake. I'm such a mess."

"We all are, honey; but that houseful of people was the last thing you needed. I'd been waiting outside since Renee showed up. I thought you might need rescuing."

"I can't hide out long, because I've been neglecting Layla."

"Neglecting is not the right word and you know it. She's fine, but I have my phone on me, Paul will let us know when you're needed back."

"How am I going to make it through tomorrow, or the rest of my life for that matter?"

"We'll be with you tomorrow, and everyday after that,honey. Dad is keeping the ceremony short on our side. I know you'll be spent after the one the police force has planned. Precincts from all around are going to be involved."

"I want to see him first. I know Leah said closed casket for all of it, but I'm his wife; they'll let me, won't they?"

"I guess so, but are you sure?"

"Yes." She had to see him one last time even if it wasn't going to be the same.

"I'll go with you if you want?"

"Yes, you can ask the pack. Any of them that want to be there, are welcome to say their goodbyes."

Jacob said he'd talk to all of them beforehand and they'd meet an hour before the funeral procession. Very little was said over the next hour, she didn't leave Jacob's lap til the text came that Layla was looking for her. She walked on her own two legs back to the house. It felt good to use her muscles again. She was happy that everyone was gone except Paul and Layla. She hadn't been left alone completely since it happened. She managed to get them both to go for a little while, so she and Layla would have the house to themselves. She remembered her words to Seth that she didn't like to be in their house without him. How true it was and she had no idea how she was ever going to grow accustom to it?

She flinched along with her daughter with every shot fired. The twenty-one gun salute was supposed to honor their fallen comrade, but each resounding boom only reminded her of the shot that took him away from them. Layla was amazing, she didn't cry even though she knew it scared her. A ton of people from all over stopped by and paid their respects. Seth was well loved and the whole region was deeply moved by his heroic story. Of course, the story had made the papers and as soon as they got a hold of the whole story about how Bella returned to take care of her wounded father who'd been saved by his deputy, Seth Clearwater and subsequently married and had a daughter with him; it was an even bigger story. She really did appreciate all their kind words. A lot of people think words don't matter, but each and everyone of them made her feel a tiny bit better. He was loved and appreciated by so many people.

Bella saw The Weber's in the crowd, even if she never got a chance to see Angela up close, she made a point to speak to Embry between the services. She begged him to seek her out before it was too late. They had no idea what her situation was, but at least he would know for certain instead of wondering. She hoped he'd listen, but she was soon led to the car that was taking her for the next ceremony, so she would have to find out later if anything became of it.

Billy also had the kindest things to say about Seth. He had some personal stories having been one of Harry's best friends. Some of them were even humorous about the mischief the boys had gotten into through the years. It was the first time she felt her lips form a smile. Old Quil read some of the ceremony in Quileute. She'd actually remembered translating those very words about death in the journals. She never thought they'd apply to any of them so soon. When they got ready to take his body to the cemetery on the reservation, the pack, minus Leah lifted the casket and carried it all the way from the council hall. None of them wore their shirts, so the tribal tattoo was on display. It was a brotherhood they represented and was evident to even those that weren't in on the secret. Renee made the comment of how moving a tribute it was to see them walk off in the distance as they carried their brother to his final resting place.

* * *

It had taken her a few weeks to build up the courage but it was a meeting that had to take place. She firmly knocked on the door.

"Come in, Isabella."

Bella walked inside Kelsee's meager home and shut the door behind her. Sue was watching Layla, so she had a few hours to spend if needed.

"Come here, child. I've been expecting you. No need for small talk. Ask me everything that's on your mind. I'm so sorry for your loss." Kelsee approached her, but Bella pulled back.

"You knew?"

"No, not like you think, dear."

"But I've had lots of time to do nothing but think and I remembered you said there was a lot of sadness in the Clearwater family. I had no idea what you meant, that was when we first met, but now I know. How could you keep this from us? What if we could have saved him?"

"No, I had no idea when or how, only that his future was short. It isn't something I would ever want to reveal to a young vibrant soul. There were no details. If I would have told you that truth, perhaps you would have made other choices and then you wouldn't have your daughter, would you?"

Those words shook her, and it took a moment to come up with a reply. "But you warned Jake," she reminded her.

"Yes, at the last minute, but I still didn't know what the vision meant. There was a darkness smothering out a light."

Bella and Kelsee tried to carry on a conversation like normal, but nothing in her life was normal and she had difficulty finding anything else to say. She didn't know why it was important, but she had thought of one more question. Imprinting: is it still three?"

"Excuse me, dear."

"Remember, three more are due to imprint. We already know Paul and Embry have felt the pull. I need to know, is it still three? Can you see it?"

"Yes and the number is two...your instincts were right."

"So I would have lost him no matter what."

"Not necessarily."

"I don't even know if I believe the curse will be lifted, if there is such a thing as a blessed imprint. I definitely don't believe I could ever be one. I've messed up everything. Seth is dead, maybe I should have never come back."

"Dear, his fate was sealed the minute he came in contact the one consumed with the dark world. You hadn't even made your impact on his life before that happened."

Kelsee asked Bella what her next step was. Did she intend to start teaching again? She didn't have a definitive answer. She would receive a settlement from his life insurance. It wasn't crucial to start back this year, but she thought she should. What else would she do if she wasn't working? She didn't know how to bring it up to Sue that she didn't think she could continue to stay in the house.

"Are you going to stay in La Push?"

"What?" Kelsee was the first person to even ask the question. She'd been thinking about it, it was a viable choice, but no one else would see it that way other than Renee who had talked about it at length before leaving to head back to Florida. "I have no choice, because of Layla."

"Isabella, you always have choices."

"Are you actually suggesting that I move away? I would have never thought you of all people would encourage me to runaway."

"Taking a step back, reevaluating one's life, is not the same as running away. I wonder how strong you could become if you learned to stand on your own two feet. You know as long as you're here, the two of them won't give you the opportunity. You'll lean on them for everything. That's what you're doing now, isn't it?"

"Yes, because I've had no choice, I wasn't strong enough. I'm still not."

"But you could be...just think about it. I don't want you to go, but I want you to thrive. It would only be temporary. We'll talk more about this later. I know you're anxious to get back to your daughter who happens to be an integral part of this tribe. I would never suggest you take her away permanently." Kelsee had once again given her a lot to consider, but she needed to get back to Layla.

Sue was the strongest person Bella had ever known. She carried her pain with grace and dignity. She'd been hit hard several times over, but she still displayed a strength and she was a natural caregiver. Bella enjoyed watching her with Layla when she first returned to her house. Sue was a wonderful grandmother. How could she even consider doing what Kelsee suggested? She had read Bella well though, because leaving was all she ever thought about anymore.

"Bella, you're going to make it. The worst days are just ahead. I remember them well...when the shock is finally over and the reality sets in. I just want you to know we are all here for you."

"Thanks Sue, I don't know how you do it. You're so strong. You've lost so much yourself. I can't even imagine."

"I'm falling apart half the time too. I just have different ways of dealing with it." She held up Layla and kissed her cheek. "I can't imagine not having this little one. He loved her so much. The two of you were the light of his life. Don't waste any more time worrying about past mistakes, Bella. You both made them, but you shouldn't let them cloud the good memories you two made in such a short time."

Another few weeks went by, Kim and Jared's son, Raif was born. Bella was happy to help Kim. It felt good to finally take care of someone else after them all taking care of her for almost a month. Kim was adjusting well to motherhood, but she'd had a lot of hands on learning with Layla. Bella and Kim had made so many plans in regards to the kids, but like everything else, those plans would probably change.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find her way any longer. The reservation stopped feeling like home. It felt foreign to her. At least she pulled herself together enough to take care of Layla. Everyday, she told her daughter some story about her father and she showed her pictures of him. Aunt Leah had even made her a book with pictures that were sealed in a protective cover so that she could hold it and play with it without damaging the pages.

Bella finally got the courage to invite the pack over the first of August. She knew they would have taken it as a sign she was better. Parts of her were, but there were other reasons for her having them there. It would be the last time at the house. She knew she could not stay there any longer. She'd given it almost two months. She didn't even sleep in her and Seth's bed at all. Sometimes she'd go in there to lie down and cry, but other than that, she'd sleep in the twin bed in Layla's room or on the sofa. Some nights, she'd barely sleep at all. She would further torture herself by putting on the Regular Show DVD, so that she could sit there and watch episodes that they loved and cry.

Bella was shocked when Embry and Angela stopped by before most everyone else. They weren't going to stay, but wanted to at least make an appearance. Leah and Sam quickly took Layla back to the bedroom before he stepped inside. Angela was trying to find a new job in the area and they were going to try again. It was one bit of good news after such a trying summer. Jacob was genuinely worried about allowing Embry to tell Angela the whole truth, but he had to come clean with her. She took the news very well and she'd always suspected something was strange, but surprisingly she even handled the suspicions about Layla with ease. She confessed to Bella that she'd had a few failed relationships in California, and she never stopped missing Embry, but thought she didn't have a shot after how badly she'd broken his heart.

The night was both healing and heart breaking. Every time, she glanced at the spot he'd usually be or imagine things that he would have said in certain points of the conversation, it hurt. She knew she wasn't the only one. She saw the looks the others had throughout the night.

Leah, came up to her while she washing some dishes. "Hey, he would be proud of you for doing this. It was a step in the right direction. I know it still sucks. It always will, but we have Little Bit and we're all still a family."

"I know, Leah, but I feel like I'm betraying him. God knows, I did it when he was alive and now I feel like if I smile at something or find comfort in Jacob or Paul's hugs; that I'm a terrible person. I'm still so lost."

"I understand, but he wouldn't want you to be in a constant state of misery. Can I do anything to help?"

"Yes, I need you to have an open mind. Next week, you, Sue, Charlie and I need to have a long discussion. Even if you don't agree or understand, I hope you can at least back me up."

"I'm not liking the sound of that."

"Please don't say anything, okay? We'll talk the first of the week." Leah did a rare thing and gave Bella a long hug.

Her next order of business was getting Quil alone. She was taking a risk that he'd rat her out or try and change her mind, but in the end she knew he was only one she could ask.

_One week later_

She'd managed to keep it secret which was some sort of a miracle, but the day had come to tell Jacob and Paul. She knew she was a total coward waiting til the last day, but they both would have tried to stop her and she wasn't so sure she'd be able to say no to them if they'd had fair warning.

Quil had everything loaded in the trailer she'd rented. She wasn't taking any of the furniture, only clothes and Layla's things, also a few kitchen necessities. She was checking the last couple of drawers to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything when Jacob came in the house.

He'd been extremely careful and patient with her since it happened, but he was fuming mad standing in the doorway.

"Why don't you tell me what the fuck is going on out there? The Tahoe is packed to the brim and Quil's loading a trailer. What the hell, Bells?"

"Jacob, I'm sorry but I can't do it. I can't stay here."

"Fine, we'll find you another house. You can go to Sue's or live with Paul in the mean time. I'd bring you to my place, but there's still construction all over the place and it wouldn't be good for the baby. You don't have to leave town, in fact you can't."

"It's already done, Jake. I have a job lined up," she rationalized.

"At the rez school," he reminded her.

"No, I turned that down. Phil's friend gave me a teaching job in Florida. Mom found me my own apartment near them. I have a babysitter already lined up for Layla. Everything has fallen into place. I need to get out of here for awhile. I swear it's not permanent. I'll come back, but if I stay; I'm going to let you and Paul take care of me and I need to learn to stand on my own two feet."

"What's wrong with us wanting to help you? I can't believe you'd take Layla from her family. The pack needs her...I need her, not to mention what you mean to all of us. Are you forgetting how disjointed we all were not so long ago? I don't want them like that again." He paced around the living room. He didn't give her a chance to respond before he asked one last thing, "How could you do this to Sue and Leah?"

"They know and they support me. Dad had a harder time with it than Sue; but Leah backed me up."

"What the fuck has happened to Leah? She's gone soft ever since getting back with Sam? I got along with her better when she was pissed all the time."

"That's not true and Leah is better now and she and Sam have a stronger relationship because she figured herself out before she tried again. I'm not getting better here."

"Running away isn't going to keep you from missing Seth."

"I'm not running, it isn't like before. Also, Embry and Angela are starting over, maybe this distance will help him out in particular."

"But the dinner last week, I thought you were better, you seemed like yourself. Don't use Embry as an excuse. I've been working with him, he's overcoming it. He would never want Layla gone even if he still can't be in the same room with her. You know that leaving is not what will fix his problem anyway. You and I already made a decision together."

She looked down at the ground. It had been somewhat of an act. She forced herself to make them feel better. Jacob bringing up their plan to end this curse was in no way on her radar anymore. She felt bad enough just letting one of the hold her. "I...I can't Jake. I can't do what you're asking."

"I get it, Bells. Of course, I wasn't suggesting, but someday...Now I understand, the dinner was goodbye. Is that when you roped Quil into this scheme?"

"It isn't a scheme, Jacob. I needed help and he and Sadie said they would do it. For the record he was against it, so don't go out there and start in on him."

"Bella, I'm begging you. Please don't leave me. I know you're hurting, but you're wrong. You are strong, and there's nothing wrong with us helping you heal. This doesn't make sense. Seth asked me to take care of you. The three of us had a pact. We made it on the hunting trip."

Bella took a few steps closer to him. She took his hand, "I love you, Jake. You know I do, but I'm broken. I can't piece myself back together, take care of Layla and be what you want me to be. It isn't possible right now. If I stay, I'll only hurt you more."

"NO!" He let go and turned his back on her. "You're hurting me right now and we haven't even talked about the bloodsucker. He's still planning something. I can't let you go, it's final. I haven't acted like a dick in a long time, but you're giving me no choice."

"I knew you'd have all these arguments, but I should be safe in Florida. I always was before. We have the correspondence going with Rose, she'll warn us if anything is happening."

"There's nothing I can say to change your mind, is there?" he rubbed his hands up his face and slowly pulled them through hair. She could see how incredibly frustrated he was with her and she completely understood. One day, it'd make sense to him and she truly believed she'd make it back to him. She wasn't going to break her promise, this was a temporary move.

Bella put her arms around Jacob. She didn't deserve anything in return, but he turned around and leaned down to hold her impossibly close. He took slow, deep breaths against her head. "I love you, Bells. I'm sorry for everything you've had to go through. I wanted to help not push you away."

She looked up to him. It would have been far too easy to say yes to him and stay if she looked in his eyes much longer. "Jake..."

He put his finger on her lips, then he wiped away a stray tear. He held her face and gave her the softest kiss to her lips. She didn't need him to get carried away with passion to convey his love for her. She'd always felt it with every look, every touch and every word from him. Fate had been unkind to them on many occasions, but maybe one day; it would be on their side. She rested her head on his chest for a little while longer until he told her he was needed outside.

"Paul's about to rip Quil a new one, we need to get out there. I take it you have some things to say to him next."

They walked out to find Paul shoving Quil against the car. Jacob made him release him.

Quil immediately came to his own defense, "She's going. Her mind's made up. Would you rather me tell her no and she go by herself?"

"I would have rather you came to us and told us before you were planning to drive out of town with her."

"Paul, come take a walk with me. Sue and Charlie will have Layla back here in a half hour. We'll be back in a bit guys." She held out her hand, "Come on, Paul."

He started towards the path they usually took to the woods, and she followed him. "I know what you think you're doing, but this isn't what you need."

"I don't even know what I need, but I know what Layla needs. She needs a strong role model. I have to be mother and father to her now. I can't be what she needs on the current path I'm on. It's too painful here."

"It's only been two months, Bella." Paul took her hand and held it against his cheek.

"Like I told Jacob, it's temporary. I need to prove something to myself and this is the only way."

"Well, I'm coming to see you whether you like it or not."

"Paul, I think you should wait awhile first, but then of course, I want to see you. Charlie and Sue are already planning a trip. Leah says she and Sam might come. I'm not excluding everyone from my life. You're all still my family."

After seeing Paul trying to assault Quil, she thought he was going to be a little more difficult, but the reality was he handled it better than Jacob. He didn't bring up as many arguments other than tell her how much he'd miss her and Layla. He held her, told her how much he loved her and then he asked permission for a goodbye kiss. She gave it.

Soon they were all congregated out front, hugging and kissing Layla goodbye. Bella had mapped out the route and she had noon as the scheduled departure time. It was fast approaching. She went back inside one last time to look around. Sue had promised to take care of everything that was left. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do with the place. She was seriously considering selling it. Bella had already had Jacob sell Seth's truck for her. She opened the door to the bedroom and took one last look around. She knew she'd never see that room again, but she'd always remember. Leah agreed to make the table work at her and Sam's place. Bella came back out to find Sue strapping Layla in her car seat. She looked around, Jacob and Paul were gone. They'd said their good byes, she assumed that didn't want to see her drive away. Charlie gave his daughter a hug. She kissed his cheek.

"You are an amazing father, you know that, Dad? Don't ever doubt it again. I'm so lucky to have you."

"Aw, Bells...I'm going to miss you so much. You take care of my little princess."

"I will," she assured him.

"I know you will and we'll visit soon. You know whenever you're ready, say the word...you'll always have a home here."

That was it, she'd said goodbye, she was really packed up and moving away once again. She'd left a letter for the rest of the pack. It wasn't enough, but it was something.

As soon as Quil made the curve on the 101, he looked at Bella in the rear view mirror, "Bella, you know if at anytime, you change your mind; I can turn around. I don't care if we are all the way there. I want you to know you have that option."

"Thanks Quil. I appreciate you and Sadie so much for helping us, but no, my mind's made up. I can't go back...at least not yet."

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**For those that were asking, only 4 more chapters including the epi, which might read like a mini story within an epilogue. LOL! Still lots of words to come before I write The End.**_


	52. Chapter 52

_**Hopefully, the rest will be more about healing and not quite so depressing; but it's all still pretty emotional til the end. Thanks so much for sticking with me. There's a significant jump in time here, and maybe a huge shock in store for everyone. Hope you enjoy this one as much as I did. It might be my favorite chapter so far.**_

_**Special song request: "Always on my mind" by Willie Nelson. Elvis has a version as well, so whichever you prefer. It inspired so many of my Jacob/Bella moments especially this chapter.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer.**_

Chapter 50

_2 years later_

Bella was scrambling as she had ever morning the past two weeks. Starting back to work this term had been such a challenge. She was still busy trying to adjust to their new routine. She'd only ran back to the bathroom for a second to tame her hair down. She still struggled with what the summer humidity did to it; waviness became frizz half the time. She went back to the kitchen to check on Layla's progress with her bowl of Cheerios.

"Oh baby, you spilled it all over your shirt."

"I sorry...I made mess, Momma."

Bella hugged her daughter, she was careful to not get a spilled milk transfer on herself. She sent her to her room to grab a new shirt. It was one more hurdle she didn't need, but stuff like that happened. She knew she could not be late again. What kind of teacher was late twice in the first two weeks? It was mornings like this when she wished she was back with all of them. She never imagined being gone this long, but circumstances had changed her original plans. Hopefully, by the end of the year, she'd be ready to move back. She had given her word. She had a lot of things to still sort out, and some confessions to make; it was all way overdue.

At least, she felt like she was somewhat doing what she set out to do by moving to Florida. She even had made some friends, nothing special; just nice normal friends. She was very independent even if Renee and Phil were nearby, she had learned to rarely call on them for help. In fact, it was her mother that called on her more than anything. "Can you go by the market for me? Oh sweetie, would you mind making spaghetti sauce tonight, I have some friends coming over for dinner." Leave it to her Mom to invite friends over for dinner forgetting the fact she didn't know how to cook, but she occasionally babysat, which was nice.

Bella was about to go check what was taking so long with the wardrobe change. She knew it would have been faster if she would have helped, but Layla was fiercely independent. She preferred to always dress herself.

Bella was double checking the bags by the door when she heard a soft knock. She peered through the peep hole and her heart about seized up in her chest. Was she ready for this? She could pretend she wasn't home, but he would have known already that wasn't the case. In fact, when she opened the door, he'd soon know all of it.

"Jacob!" she exclaimed when she opened up the door.

"Hey Bells," he looked the same, only better if that was possible. "Sorry, I didn't call first, but for some reason I wanted to surprise you even though I know you don't like surprises."

"This is a good surprise, Jake," she walked into his arms. She had seen several people from home over the past couple of years, but he had not been one of them. They had texted back and forth in the beginning, but it was making it harder; so they eventually stopped. Paul let him know how she and Layla were doing, but that had been a sensitive issue for more reasons than Jacob knew.

Bella realized he was still holding onto her when Layla came running around the corner into the back of her legs.

"Whoa, is this Layla? Look at you...you've gotten so big. I'm your Uncle Jake." He reached out to see how'd she would react, but Layla already knew her Uncle Jake. Bella made sure to show her pictures of all the family and friends back in Washington. She also wasn't known for being shy like her mother in the slightest.

Layla bounced into Jacob's arms and he lifted her high into the air. "Uncle Jake."

"Yeah, I came to see you and your Mom. That's if, your Momma's ever going to invite me in."

"Oh, I'm sorry, of course, come inside, Jacob." She was trying to sort it all out in her head before she told him what he needed to know.

Jacob sat Layla back on the ground and stepped inside. As soon as he released her, Layla let Bella know what she'd been meaning to say. "Momma, Cassie's up."

So much for sorting it out.

Jacob's head perked up and he scanned the room. "Who's Cassie?"

"Jake...let me explain," was all she could think to say.

She was sure, Jacob had already heard the heartbeat. He probably had confused it for the neighbor when he first approached the door. Why would he expect there to be someone else in her apartment?

He started to head towards the hallway, he wouldn't need directions. He walked straight into the girls' room and looked into the crib where her three month old daughter was kicking her feet and making her morning cooing noises.

She and Layla were two steps behind him. Bella didn't really need to make an introduction. Layla had already announced her name. She walked around Jacob and picked Cassie up. He stared at Bella and stared at her daughter. She was having trouble reading his reaction, especially since he wasn't saying anything.

Bella broke the silence, "Layla, why don't you go watch your show. We aren't going to go to school this morning after all." Her daughter was happy to hear she could watch TV because usually Bella didn't allow the distraction when they were trying to get ready. She made a quick exit before Momma changed her mind.

"Jacob, say something. I never wanted you to find out this way. I was going to tell you. I swear, but it never seemed like the right time."

He finally responded to her with the confirmation he knew exactly what had happened, "Lahote." She knew he knew the minute he walked in the room.

"Yes, she's Paul's."

"I...I don't even know what to say. How? Why would you two keep this from me?"

"I will tell you everything, but first I need to change and feed Cassie. I also need to call in at school and the daycare. Would you mind keeping Layla company for a little while?"

Jacob shook his head in confirmation and returned to the living room.

Once, she'd taken care of everything, Bella headed back into the living room to face him again. He was still there, so at least that was a positive step. She rolled out the quilt she used on the floor and laid Cassie on it. Layla grabbed the toy she liked to watch and reach for. The girls would be entertained for a little while so she and Jacob could talk.

She was about to start her rehearsed speech, but he stopped her.

"No, me first. I don't even know what to say about you and Paul having a daughter. I mean, I knew he started to visit a little more than a year ago. I would make him show you and Layla to me sometimes in his thoughts. I wanted to see that you were alright. I should have picked up on something. There were a few times, I thought he was hiding something, but nothing like this.

"It wasn't planned."

"I figured that."

"It's just when it happened, I thought it was still so soon since losing Seth. I didn't know what everyone would say, so I asked him to keep it a secret awhile longer. Sue and Charlie know in case you were wondering."

"Hold up, Bells before you get started, like I said, I want to go first. I'm here to bring you and Layla and now, Cassie home with me. I've already bought the tickets. Does Cassie need her own ticket?"

"No, not yet."

"Okay, well... I'm here to pack you up. This isn't up for debate. Something has happened. Remember you said if Rose gave us the heads up about anything, you'd come back. A few days ago we crossed paths with Edward. I'm not sure if it was intentional or if he was trying to find you, but no matter which, we handled him."

"You killed him?"

"Technically, it was Paul that did the honors. It all makes sense now. He was so overwhelmed to protect his baby, he didn't hold back. Edward babbled on about telling you he was so sorry, but it was too late. He wasn't making a lot of sense. I wanted to torture him, try and get get more info from him, but Paul wouldn't wait. I've already sent the news to the Cullen's, and I'm hoping to hear back from them soon if they have any idea what had him so shaken. I felt like he was willingly turning himself over to us. He had done something even worse than what he did with Nadia. I'm sure of it. That's why I have to have you back in La Push. I don't care if he's a disintegrated pile of ash, he can still hurt you."

"Okay, Jacob...I never wanted to be gone this long. We'll go back with you, but I need to resign from my job. I have to pack and get things in order. When were you thinking about leaving?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow, I can't do that. Are you crazy?"

"I already have movers coming. They'll do the packing for you. I only need you to get a bag for you and the girls."

"What about my car?"

"Let Renee sell it, it's several years old. You can pick out something new when we get back to Washington."

"And where will I live? I can't see me cramming into Charlie's with two babies, Jake."

"The house is done, I want you to live with me. I'm not trying to push you into anything, you can have your own room."

She was trying to digest everything he was saying. Edward was dead which was a relief, but she might still be in danger. She did want to go back, but tomorrow was hard to accept. He knew about her and Paul, but still wanted her to live with him. Could she do that? What would happen between the three of them if she went back?

"Jacob first, I think you should hear how Cassie got here...you may change your mind about me living with you."

He made a face at her, "I don't need to hear any details, please, Bells."

She covered her face with her hand. She still got embarrassed easily even after everything that she'd been through. "No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just, Paul and I were...well, I don't know other than we were different; somethings always been unique with us. He'd been here once before and it was like old times. I let him sleep in my bed and nothing happened. We were loving and affectionate, not as much as before Layla was born; but still...I've been comfortable with him for a long time. You know he and I have feelings for one another. Something was different when he came to see me last year after I first started back another year teaching. He'd come to convince me to come back. I thought I would in the beginning. It was my plan when I finished my first school year, but then I stayed for summer and when they asked if I was definitely staying in my first grade position, I said yes. I told Paul one more year and that would be long enough. He and I were hanging out, Layla had gone to bed and I don't know...I know it's an overused cliche, but it just happened. He and I both needed healing and I felt like that's what we did. I was floored when I realized I was pregnant."

"You know he briefly had a real girlfriend. She was nice, I was confused when he abruptly broke up with her. I guess I know why now."

"I know, before he went home; I begged him to at least try. I felt like I still couldn't ever give him all that he deserved." She stared deeply into Jacob's eyes, "Because, I'd already made that mistake with Seth and I knew that...well, you know."

He reached across and put his hand over hers, "Yeah, Bells...I know."

"He told me about meeting her. Her Dad was one of your customers, right?"

"Yeah, I knew he was never serious about her, but they did go out over two months and that was a record for him."

"What about you Jake, have you met anyone?"

"No, the guys call me the alpha monk nowadays. It definitely doesn't fit my nature, but I'm use to it by now."

"I'm sorry," As soon as the apology, she couldn't help letting a giggle escape.

"What's so funny?"

"I was picturing you in one of those long brown robes and that's just wrong, Jake."

"Haha, very funny."

"I didn't want to bulldoze Paul's life; he was trying for once. The old Bella would have kept it to herself, but I remembered how involved he was with my first pregnancy and I couldn't deny him that. It was so weird. I asked him to visit me, so I could tell him in person. As soon as he got here, he told me he'd already broken up with...um, I think her name was Susan before he even got to Florida. He said it wasn't fair to her, his heart wasn't in it and for the first time, he cared about hurting someone; so I guess the experiment wasn't all bad. He learned something about himself. Of course, he was ecstatic about the baby. He predicted it a long time ago, and I wasn't so sure I believed him."

"What are you trying to say, Bells? Are you two together, is that what you want?"

"I can't ever completely give up Paul, Jacob. I need to know if you understand that."

"I'm trying."

"And he and I have a child together, so that will forever link us; but even before Cassie, he and I had a special bond. Here's the truth, the best way I know how to explain it. I love you Jacob, no amount of distance, time or tragedy has dissipated my feelings. Paul accepts it and he knows he has a place as well, but he would never try and convince me that I should go against where my heart leads me. Can you do the same? Can you accept that he's part of my life?"

"Are you asking me to share like 50/50 because I don't think I can?"

"No, it won't be like that."

"Well then what will it be like?"

"I don't know, I can't give you an exact answer, but can we all try? That's all I'm asking."

"Okay, but he knows I'm the alpha and I will have some rules. Trust me, they're for his protection or else I may rip his throat out one day and I know none of us want that."

Cassie had tired of the toy, she was usually much more interested in Layla's antics instead. Bella picked her up, but Jacob held out his hands.

She put her in his lap. "Hey there Cassie, you're a pretty girl. It's a good thing, you look more like your mom except for that little squint right there." Jacob rubbed his thumb across her brow. "That's all Lahote." He cuddled her and continued to talk to her. "You and I are going to be close, none of this craziness is your fault. I'm probably gonna kicks your dad's ass everyday, but I'll always love and protect you."

"Jake."

"Sorry, I meant butt."

"You're hopeless."

"We all are, Bells." Jacob turned his attention to Layla. "Hey Little Bit, what do you and your Mom do for fun around here?"

Layla's ears perked up. She heard the word fun and ran to Bella's side. She whispered in her Mom's ear the place she was always eager to go. Bella preferred to let Phil take her, but since Jacob had asked, she wasn't going to let it go.

Jacob heard her despite her whispers, "What's a Chuck E. Cheese, Bells?"

Bella laughed, "Welcome to parenthood, Jake. You're about to find out."

* * *

"Does she ever stop?" Jacob looked up to Bella where she was nursing Cassie before she went down for the night. He was on the floor with Layla and she jumping off his back and onto the couch.

"No, she's full of energy all of the time."

He couldn't believe after taking them to that crazy pizza place for hours that she could still be bouncing off the walls, but he had indulged her and bought ice cream on the way home. They'd had a fun time together. First the girls had a nap, and Bella put in the call to Renee and then she ran down to her school to resign in person. Her principal was understanding since she said it was a family emergency. Renee and Phil expected it, but they were going to miss the girls. Bella told them they'd have to visit more often. Phil had retired from baseball and was working with one of his old teammates. It was some sort of business venture, but his time was very flexible. He usually worked from home. Jacob stayed with the girls and he helped her pack a few large suitcases. The girls were soon up and they took them to the nearby Chuck E. Cheese until Cassie got fussy. Layla could have stayed until closing, but Bella and Jacob felt like the baby; they'd had enough after a few hours as well.

"Layla, let's put your music on and start winding down. I'm about to put Cassie to bed, so you need to be quieter, plus Mrs. Guff is going to call on us again."

"Big deal, Bells. You move out tomorrow." Bella had filled Jacob in on the crazy cat lady that lived under them. She certainly wouldn't miss her, but at least she did one nice thing for them when she gave Layla, Scar. Jacob was in the same boat as Paul, neither of them liked the cat, but he was a part of the family. She insisted the cat go with them or else Layla would be crushed.

Bella thought back to after she and Jacob had just finished up most of their deep conversation when Layla brought Scar in and tossed him on Jacob's shoulder. She'd never seen a cat and wolf move so quickly to opposite sides of the room.

"What the fu...hell," he stopped himself. "Bella, why in the hell did you let her have a cat?"

"Because we were trying to make friends with Mrs. Guff. I was tired of all her noise complaints. She doesn't understand kids and Layla really wanted one. He was the cutest little fur ball and he's a good little kitten." Mrs. Guff had a few complaints about Paul as well, but she'd spare Jake those details.

"I doubt that, look at my shoulder where he dug his claws into me. Damn...look at him, he's still plotting against me." Jacob pointed at the kitten across the room who was busy grooming himself, hardly plotting against him. "I've got something for you...kitty kitty; ever seen a really big dog before?"

"Stop it Jake. We're keeping him. If you want me to move back with you, you have to get the pet carrier and add him to our flight."

"Fine, he can live at Paul's."

"No, Paul doesn't get alone with him."

"You don't say and you think I will?"

"Eventually...he's sweet. I promise, he'll grow on you. I never had pets growing up, I want the girls to; it's good for them."

She was smiling thinking of all the good times they'd already had in just a few short hours. She kissed Cassie's head before putting her to bed. Paul had texted earlier after he was certain Jake had already made it there.

**well?**

She sent him back a few messages letting him know she'd see him the next evening. He'd been there to check on Cassie only the month before. He had already let her know he didn't want her to stay in Florida much longer. He wasn't going to be able to stand being away from his daughter and she didn't want him to either. She promised to be back by Christmas, but now she had no choice and it was actually a relief. Paul told her he told the pack as soon as Jacob was in the air, so it would sink in. No one was surprised or upset. She was more worried about other people that didn't know about the pack would say, which was stupid because why did she care what all the busybodies in Forks thought. She was definitely not going back to work there.

Jacob had already told her he couldn't tell if she was happier to see him or to be quitting her job. It was true, working with two little girls was tough and she enjoyed being home with Layla most of that first year, so she was happy she was going to be with Cassie as well.

Bella smiled at the scene in her living room. Layla had Jacob dancing with her in the middle of the floor.

"You two look like you're having fun," she observed.

"We are, but what's with these songs, honey?"

"Blame Poppa Phil, he insisted on starting her off with vintage country and she loves it."

"One more Momma, peas," Layla begged.

"Okay, if it's okay with Jake."

The next song came on and Jacob whispered something to Layla, she eagerly shook her head.  
"She said this one's for us...will you do me the honors, Bells?" he held his hand out for her and she met him in the middle of the room.

She and Jacob had found their rhythm by the second verse of the song. Willie Nelson's voice sang through the speakers, "Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times," which caused his grip to tighten around her waist. She rested her head against his chest. So many things had happened, so much time had passed, but being held by Jacob would never change. She was barely moving, but he changed it up and spun her around. Layla clapped, reminding Bella they had an audience.

Jacob acknowledged her and said, "Watch this." He pulled Bella's hand up high and twirled her around in a circle. She and Layla both giggled. He pulled back and then bent her over in a dip. He slowly pulled her up and her arched back gradually straightened back out.

He held up one of her hands to his mouth to place one kiss to her fingers as the song started winding down, "Tell me that your sweet loved hasn't died," made her heart skip a beat when she looked into Jacob's eyes as they heard the last verse of the song. It hadn't. Did he know that truth? The dance had gone from tentative, to fun but now felt extremely intimate. Jacob slowly leaned his head down, she wasn't sure how she should respond, it was all happening so fast, but that was the nature of their entire relationship. Unfortunately, Layla sailed into Jake's legs as the last line was sang, "You were always on my mind." She thought it was probably for the best. Jacob reached down and pulled her up with them. He told her to give her Mom a kiss, that it was bedtime.

Bella helped her with her nighttime routine, but she wanted Jacob to read with her instead. She brought out one of her favorites and he read it. Then she handed him the book from Aunt Leah. Jacob found out just how smart Bella and Seth's little girl was. It was true, she did know everyone. Bella had practiced with her and she turned the pages to show him each and every pack member and their significant others. She also had pictures of all her grandparents and a special one of "The Chief," her favorite name for Billy. She stopped at the picture of Seth. "Uncle Jake, you my Daddy's brother?"

"Yep, sure am."

"My Daddy got lot of brothers."

"Uh huh."

"Pro...protexters," she attempted the word her mother had taught her.

"Yes, Little Bit...you have so many protectors, and now Daddy is the most special one of all." Jacob kissed her on the head and she snuggled into his chest. Bella knew it'd only be a few more minutes. Layla usually went out suddenly even after a long winded talk.

He brushed her dark hair away from her face. "I'm so glad we have her, that she was his."

"I know," Bella agreed.

"Are you ready to let me help? I'm not saying you aren't doing a superb job, because obviously you are. It's just, I want to take part in raising her," he took a deep breath before he added, "and Cassie."

"Yes, I want that Jake. Are you sure? It's a lifetime commitment."

"Honey, I made a lifetime commitment to you a long time ago. I figured you knew that by now." She nodded because she did. "I have some drawings. I think you and Layla are going to love them. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone, "Come here and see. It's not that great, a picture of a picture, but you'll get the idea."

Bella looked at the screen to see a colored sketch of the sandy brown wolf with the small girl nestled into his side. It was a carbon copy of Layla as she was at that moment. She questioned him with her eyes.

"Leah...she gave me some pictures."

"Oh, Jake; this is amazing. I love it so much. She'll cherish this forever. It's so amazing that you can remember him in such detail. It's really a beautiful tribute."

"Thanks, it's therapy for me in a way. You'll never believe what I do now."

"What?"

"I participate in the art walks now."

"That's great...I'm so proud of you."

"Yeah, I've done three now, I think. I get a lot of people visiting my booth. I've sold a few things too, mainly landscapes. I get an uninhibited view as my wolf that most people never get to see up close, so I think it gives them something unique. Well...where do I put this one, she's totally out?"

"The twin bed, you want me to take her?"

"No, I'll do it."

Jacob came back a few minutes later. She wasn't sure how to bring up the sleeping arrangements. "Jacob, you can stay in my room if you want." She wasn't sure if it sounded right. She really meant for sleeping only.

"Naw, I think I'll pass."

"Of course, I wasn't trying...I mean we're just getting reacquainted." She felt her face flush with embarrassment. Surely, he didn't think she was trying to seduce him. "I'll make out the sofa bed. It isn't the greatest, but at least it folds out into a full sized bed." She started to head back to the hall closet for the extra sheets. He followed her. He looked towards her bedroom.

"Honey, I just meant that Paul's been in there. I can still smell him, so that's not going to happen...okay. I'm trying to be understanding, but I'm not that understanding. The couch will be fine. Here, let me have those. I can make it up." Hey leaned over and kissed the side of her head. "Night, Bells."

She shut herself in her room and flipped on the baby monitor. She thought she might have a hard time falling to sleep, but just thinking about Jake under the same roof with her and her girls made her feel extremely safe and content. She slept soundly til Cassie wanted a little attention at 3 am. Bella fed her for a little while and then put her back in the crib. She was tiptoeing back to her room when she crashed into a hard body. She didn't know what to say, she was initially going to apologize for waking him. He took her hand and pulled her back into the living room with him. He motioned for her to get on the pull out bed, she hesitated, but he nudged her again. The two of them climbed in and Jacob covered her up. He pulled her against him.

"Now maybe I can get some damn sleep, because I've been going fucking nuts listening to your heartbeat, hearing your breathing and smelling your scent but not being next you. Night Bells," he told her again. She hated the pull out couch, but for the rest of the night it was like sleeping on a cloud.

They were boarding the plane at 7 o'clock the next evening. She had met with the movers Jacob hired. Renee was there and they all decided what would stay and what had to go. She and each of the girls had two large suitcases, and since Jake had only brought a small carry on; she packed two more bags that could be counted as his bags. Of course, Scar was tucked away in a pet carrier where they kept the live animals on the plane. Jacob was having a look at his arms again.

"They're almost all healed, so that's good," she made the comment hoping he was finally getting over his hatred for the cat. He had the job of getting him in the crate and it hadn't gone well.

He growled at her and Layla giggled. "Uncle Jake...Uncle Paul fight Scar."

"No honey, they won't fight. They'll all get along soon enough."

_Right?_ she asked herself and she wasn't just thinking about the cat. It was true that she hadn't been completely forthcoming on how much stronger the relationship between her and Paul had become, but that would eventually come out. The plane started taxiing down the runaway. Jacob leaned over and whispered in her ear. "You might have won the battle with the cat, Bells, but Rule Number 1: Paul Lahote will never live in my damn house; just so we're clear. Understand?"

"Crystal, Jake...I understand."

Soon, they were in the air and Layla squealed with excitement. They were all about to embark on the next chapter in life; one that was written one page at a time.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**And for all you Paul lovers out there. There is a companion chapter that goes back in time a year. It's strictly a Paul/Bella outtake, (all 7000+ words dedicated to them) not essential reading to know what's going on, but some of you might enjoy it ;) I can have it up pretty soon, like in a few hours or tomorrow, perhaps.**_


	53. Chapter 53

_**Song inspiration for this one is ****Michael Bublé's "Crazy Love" Some of the lyrics are spot on.**_

Paul and Bella Outtake: Crazy Love

Once Paul realized it was pretty simple to get on a plane and come visit her for the weekend; she expected to see him pretty often. She knew he really wanted her to come back with him. She had considered it. In fact, she changed her mind at the last minute a few weeks before. Her principal called and asked if she was coming back, she was prepared to say no, but said yes for some reason.

She was a little surprised when he called and said "pick me up at the airport at 6:30" that one Friday evening in late August. She'd only been back at school a week. She probably should have been working on planning for the new year, but she welcomed his distraction. They grabbed some take out on the way home. He entertained Layla while she straightened up the place from a week's worth of neglect. He still had luck at getting her to go to sleep. She was completely out by 9, so the two of them found something to watch on TV.

Bella brought some snacks and drinks to the side table by the sofa. She didn't have a coffee table because the apartment was too cramped for that and she wanted Layla to have plenty of room to play. Bella was going to let him have the right side but he sat in the middle noting his reach was longer and he could get a drink or a bite easier. It really didn't make sense, she only had a few handful of M&amp;M's and some sips of water. He was the one that kept sampling her homemade trail mix and grabbing his soda. She lost count how many times he reached behind her or around her.

"Why don't you just hold the bowl or we could switch?" she eventually suggested.

There was something about the way he smelled and how long his food grabs were that were having a certain effect on her. She was starting to catch on, he was doing something to her on purpose.

He reached across her yet again, and she sucked in her breath. "Something you wanna say, hummingbird?"

"Yes, you need to stop."

"Stop eating? I'm sorry, but your stuff is just too appetizing, I can't quit."

"Paul, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to watch a show, but you won't stop interrupting me."

"You're such a liar, you aren't even paying attention."

"Sure I was," he further lied.

"Then what's the name of it?" she asked as she turned the television off.

"Ummm..." He rested his head on the back of the couch cushions, turned her direction and smiled. He was taking his normal flirting up a notch.

"Paul, I...I can't, it's too soon." She needed to let him know before he got any other ideas.

"Okay, that's all you have to say. I'm not going to push you, but it's been such a long time since we were close, but of course I get it. You know, I still feel the same, so...I don't know; I'm going to shut up now. I didn't mean to upset you or make you uncomfortable."

He wasn't making her uncomfortable, the truth was, he was making her feel another way. She didn't know where it came from, but she asked him a question, "Remember when you said you'd gladly be hurt by me?"

"Huh?"

"When you fought with Jake so long ago."

"Oh yeah," he reached over and twirled her hair around his fingers.

"Did you mean that? Do I hurt you, Paul? Do you not care if I do?"

"No, you don't hurt me. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone else, but the only way you'd ever hurt me is to send me away and never let me come back. And you're not ever going to do that, are you?"

She reached across his lap and took his hand. He linked his fingers with hers. "No, that'll never happen." She sighed as he continued to stare at her. "I'm not sure what I'm trying to say right now. I guess I should shut up and go to bed."

He moved a little bit closer and released her hair and started to rub his hand down her cheek. "Why don't you quit worrying about how to say it, hummingbird." He leaned in further, she could feel them breathing in air at the same rate. They were completely in sync with each other, "and just do it."

Could she? Bella debated on what was the right thing. She'd said it was too soon, but no matter when, it was bound to feel like that the first time. She'd said they weren't like that or it was different with them, but that wasn't the whole truth. He made her feel certain ways. She was feeling it that minute. They'd kissed plenty of times, they easily confessed their love for one another, but the nature of their relationship had reverted back to a friendship once Layla was born. Only seconds ticked by while she weighed it all in her brain.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, she had an overwhelming urge to feel instead of thinking it all through. "Paul, I...I changed my mind. I'm ready and I want it to be you." She was right all those times she had thought about it; she only had to ask once. Paul closed the distance between them in a heartbeat. Their lips were drawn together like magnets. He kissed her with such fervor, she forgot to breath.

He paused briefly, "Breathe baby...I don't want you passing out on me." He smiled against her mouth. She grabbed hold of his neck and pulled him into her again.

"Paul," she said during a break.

"Hmm," he kissed her again. She was in his lap by that time. She struggled to get up which made him nervous for a split second until she let him know what she was intending. She pulled his hands so he'd stand up with her. They were walking back to her room, but she only made it a few steps before he scooped her up in his arms and walked her the rest of the way. He shut the door with his foot and walked to the bed til his legs hit the side.

She was glad he was taking his time. It was almost painfully slow. She never would have imagined that Paul Lahote would be like this, but for some reason she didn't think he ever had been. They were skin to skin before he brought it up.

"You're still taking the pill right? I didn't exactly come here expecting this to happen."

"Yeah, I never stopped after Layla. There's certain perks and my body's use to them. We're covered. I faithfully take them, there have been no illnesses or mishaps."

"I...I've never gone without..." his voice was shaky. She swore he was trembling more than she was.

Her foot was running up and down his leg and she was kneading the muscles across his shoulder when she leaned into to whisper in his ear, "Then I'll be your first, huh?" she gave him wet kisses across the tendons of his neck.

"Yeah, hummingbird...you're my first...my first everything. I love you so much." His hands were all over her skin, skimming all the places he had previously stopped himself from exploring.

"I love you too," came out like a breathy moan.

She climbed over him. It was important to her that he knew she wanted it completely. She took the lead. He sat up to meet her. He held her up with a hand on her back while he assaulted her neck with kisses. She took his other hand and put it against her chest. His hands were like hot lava burning into the depths of her body.

"These are nice," he said between kisses and nibbles.

She laughed,"Thanks," He started up again and she tried to tell him how much she approved but decided to show him instead. Her memory was good, she knew every little comment he'd ever made to her. She knew what would make him lose all restraint and that's precisely what she wanted. Her hand slipped in between them. His hiss of approval let her know she was succeeding.

He made a move to flip them back over, but she stopped him. "No, lie back Paul. I want you to see me while I love you." He slowly fell back to the sheets. She situated herself across his thighs, never releasing her grip on him.

"Are you sure?" he asked when he saw her moving upwards.

She answered with her actions instead of her words. She threw her head back when it happened. He held her still. "Don't move...yet," he added. His hands ran up her body and circled around her stiff peaks, she was literally dying to move, but he had asked her not to. Finally, his hands grasped her hips and he started her movements how he needed them which happened to be exactly how she needed it, as well.

His moans sent shockwaves through her, "You feel so damn good on me, hummingbird."

Those were the last audible words spoken for awhile. The two of them took their knowledge of each other to a whole new realm. She felt like every thrust, every touch, every kiss literally stitched her wounds back together. She wanted him to watch her love him, but seeing his face and looking in his eyes as he loved her back was more powerful than she could have imagined. She eventually, let him turn them over and she clung to his back like a vise.

"Whatever you need to do: bite me, scratch me, it doesn't matter; it won't hurt me." She did all those things and more as he dipped her in a pool of ecstasy over and over. It was a long time before she felt him twitch and fill her with his warmth. She was worried she wasn't going to make it, but he somehow knew exactly when she'd had enough. After they were fully satiated and content, he pulled her against his chest as soon as he rolled off her. They'd come full circle from her initial distaste for him. They had developed their feelings into an extraordinary friendship over the years, but this moment ended with the merger of mind, body, and soul when they finally became lovers.

She could feel herself slipping into unconsciousness, so she crawled up his body to give him one final kiss, "Love you," she whispered.

"Please don't say this is the only time."

"Why would I say something like that?"

"I don't know, it was a fear I've had."

"Put your fears to rest...something that magnificent definitely needs an encore, but I need sleep, so if you'll still be here tomorrow..." she kissed his chest.

"I'll be here whenever you need me, hummingbird." That was a promise she knew he'd never ever break.

Bella woke up to a pair of dark, smoldering eyes raking over her naked body. They never kept the covers over them.

"Hey, you been awake long?"

"Nope, only a couple of minutes."

"Oh...well you look pretty alert," she couldn't control her wandering eyes. She saw he was definitely ready for round two. She hated to break it to him, but she expected Layla up any second so he was about to be disappointed, but they could still have a little fun in the mean time.

He kissed her good morning. "No regrets?"

"Never," she stated.

"Did I deliver?"

She laughed, "What do you think? You were there. Of course you did even if..." she bit her lip and stopped what she was about to say.

"What? "

"I don't know...it's hard to explain, but it wasn't exactly what I expected from you."

"Could you be more vague, you're giving me a complex."

"No, Paul. You were amazing, but I'm a little surprised how slow and gentle it was. I'm not complaining. Jeez, quit looking at me like that. It wasn't boring or anything...it was very beautiful."

"I get it, just say the words, hummingbird. Tell me you want it hard and fast next time and I'll make your head spin." She was sure he would. He grabbed hold of her waist and started things up again. She was almost ready to get carried away when the monitor lights started flickering. He looked towards the sound.

"What in the fuck is that annoying tinkling noise and that obnoxious song?"

She giggled. "That's Layla's crib toy. Sorry, big boy but we're going to have to save this for later. She's awake. I have to get her up and make her some breakfast."

"I hope you yank that toy out when you do and toss it in the garbage. That's the most annoying shit I've ever heard. It even killed my boner."

"No, that's her favorite. Her Grandpa Charlie bought it for her."

"Oh that sneaky Charlie Swan. He gave her that as a cockblock, I'm sure of it."

"You're crazy. My Dad has no idea that we'd be up to this. He would have locked you under the jail if he knew this is what we were going to do when you visited."

"Well, let's just hope, he never finds out all the nasty things I plan on doing to his daughter."

"He won't."

"Good, because castration would suck."

"Mom mom ma," was the next sound on the baby monitor.

Bella pulled away from the hot body in her bed and he released her so she could tend to her daughter. She grabbed her short robe and headed out the door. She sent out an emergency text. She hope Renee responded quickly, she owed her. Bella did stuff for her all the time.

**Sure honey, I'm out and about...I'll be there in 30 minutes.**

Bella started breakfast, "How's pancakes sound baby girl?"

Layla babbled on while she drank from her sippy cup. Paul joined them in the kitchen as she was taking up the first batch. His nose must have led him there at precisely the right time. He gave Layla a kiss on her head and stepped behind Bella at the stove. He pulled up hair gave her a kiss on the neck the made her weak in the knees.

"I see the smell of food brought you around."

"That's not the only thing that smells good in here," he winked at her.

She really needed Renee to hurry up.

The three of them polished off a big plateful of pancakes. Paul finished his fifth one and then announced he'd grab a shower. Bella hadn't mentioned her plans yet, she wanted to surprise him.

She left the kitchen and took Layla back to her room to get her ready. Forty minutes later instead of 30, her Mom was at the door.

"Hey, how's my big girl? You ready for a special sleepover at Nana's?"

Layla ran back to her room to get her special stuffed animal and her blanket.

"I don't mind, but kinda short notice, sweetie. What do you and Paul have planned?"

Renee never really knew what was up between Paul and her daughter, but she'd asked Bella how it was to be best friends with such a stud. She'd once admitted if she wasn't a married woman, he'd give her all kinds of dirty fantasies.

"Ew Mom, don't think about him like that, he's half your age."

"But he's the good half, the age when he's in his prime. You need to read more, honey and I don't mean all those boring classics." She said that last time he visited and Bella was never going to hear the end of it, if Renee knew what they were up to.

She kinda wished Renee and Layla would hurry out the door before Paul came out of the shower.

No such luck...he stuck his head from around the hall. She saw his dripping hair and wet chest. He better have put his shorts back on. Paul saw Renee at the door with Layla and her small suitcase. He didn't hide his enthusiasm when he strolled out in the open in nothing but one of her over-sized bath towels. Of course, he had no discretion.

"You leaving us, bumblebee?" he asked Layla.

He knelt down and gave her a hug, "See you soon," then he actually winked at Renee "Not too soon, okay Nana?"

For once Bella's Mom was speechless.

"Um, oh... " She covered her mouth, "Oh no, of course not, she's spending the night with us." Renee got one last look at what she was leaving Bella locked away with for the rest of the weekend. Bella hugged and kissed Layla.

"Thanks Mom," she put her finger to her lips meaning for Renee to keep quiet before she shut the door.

As soon as the lock clicked, he pressed her up against the door. "Got rid of the kid so you could have me all alone. It's true, I have unleashed a beast, haven't I?"

"No, I think that's you, not me," was her response. He hoisted her up and she wrapped her legs around him. His hands went inside her flimsy robe.

"Wait...I need a shower."

"No, you're fine," he inhaled deeply against her neck.

"No, please, you took one, I need one too. I'll make you a deal. You clean my kitchen and let me grab a hot shower and then I'll meet you back in my room and you won't be disappointed."

* * *

"Paul, shush...you're being too loud." She should have never eluded to the fact he was too gentle. He'd worked her over two times already. They were in the middle of the third time that day and he was a little more passionate each time. She swore the bed was making marks on the wall and she worried that it might crash through the floor eventually. There was no way Mrs. Guff wasn't hearing this and Bella had enough problems with Layla's jumping, dancing and squealing.

"You're pretty loud yourself, did you forget when I was doing the one thing?" She silenced him with another kiss. Yeah, she remembered exactly what he'd done when she made it out of the shower all fresh and clean. Paul was moving inside her again, "Come on hummingbird, ignore the rest of the world. I want to hear you." He pulled her arms over her head and picked up his pace again. She couldn't help herself, she did what he wanted, "Yeah, just like...I wanna hear how much you love it when I fuck you." He breathed into her ear.

His dirty mouth had pushed over the edge several times that morning. She was convinced he was right, he had unleashed something inside her. She also quit worrying about the noise, the downstairs neighbor could call the cops, she didn't care. She moaned, she screamed at times, and he loved every second of it. She collapsed over his chest slickened with sweat desperately trying to catch her breath.

"Hot damn, baby...that's what I'm talking about."

"For the record, I like it both ways. We can slow it down sometimes. I'm only human you know."

"I'm sorry...you aren't hurting are you?"

"No, but I'm really hungry and I could use a nap...like a real nap, that's doesn't mean another round and then fall asleep."

"Anything, hummingbird...I'm just trying to get it all in. I can't believe I have to leave tomorrow night. I wish I had a long weekend, but you have school Monday so I guess it wouldn't make a difference."

They left the bedroom to refuel and Paul was also agreeable for a nap. They slept for several hours and had a little more fun before Bella announced she wanted him to take her on a date. He got another shower and she took the sheets to the washing machine and put on a fresh set. Paul was disappointed, he told her he was going to take those home with him.

"No, you aren't, that's gross."

"We'll have to mess up the clean ones and I'll sneak one in my bag." He was messing with her.

She was all ready to leave when she opened the door to find Mrs. Guff standing at the door. That old lady acted feeble most of the time, but she sure could manage it up to Bella's second story apartment with ease to complain.

She looked around Bella to see Paul standing there. He waved at her. Mrs. Guff frowned. Bella decided to step outside with her rather than suffering the embarrassment of Paul being in the room with them.

"What can I do for you, Mrs. Guff? We're on the way out."

"Hmph, I knew it. You were entertaining a man. Dear, it was my understanding that you were a widow."

"I...I am; that's my friend from home." Why was she bothering to explain any of this?

"Well, you two have got my cats in a tizzy."

"Excuse me."

"All that roaring and hollering, it's downright scandalous. I'm not the only one that heard, I'm sure."

"I'm sorry if we made any noise to disturb you."

"Dear, do you really think you should be moving on so soon?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't see how it's any of your business. I'm not trying to be rude, but I have a babysitter tonight and Paul and I are on the way out."

"I've been where you are. I lost my husband too and I know it gets lonely, but I never strayed."

Bella couldn't help asking, "Ever?"

"Never...I gave up that sort of thing, what you need Miss Bella is a cat. I bet that little girl of yours would like one."

"Oh, no thanks. I don't think so."

"Sure, she would. Mrs. Prissy just had a litter a few weeks ago. I could spare one. Then you wouldn't be tempted by tall, dark and mysterious men. That one in there looks dangerous. I'm only being a concerned neighbor."

"Mrs. Guff, you don't even like me, and no we don't need a cat, so no thank you." Bella went back inside before she had a chance to say anything else.

She told Paul they had to wait until she was out of sight.

"Dangerous, huh? She got one thing right."

Bella said it was the worst thing about living in an apartment and she had the worst luck getting stuck over the craziest woman in the whole complex. "You could always come home with me. You know my place is out of the way, no noisy neighbors."

When he said it, reality started creeping back in. They'd done an excellent job for the past 20 hours or so living in the moment. She couldn't go back just yet and move in with him. She wasn't sure what their time together meant. Of course, she loved him, and actually expressing that love had been liberating, but in the back of her mind; she knew the memory of Jacob still resided there.

"Before you start that, I know what you're doing. Don't, hummingbird. Let me have the rest of this night and we'll talk about the serious shit tomorrow." He kissed her lips and she shoved the thoughts down. They went out and had a nice romantic dinner together.

Sunday had arrived and they were still in bed at noon. Layla was due back home in about an hour. Paul was ready to have the conversation and get it all out in the open.

"Why don't you want to come back? Because of Jake?"

"I don't know and I do want to come back. I'm so much stronger than the day I left there, but it's still barely been over a year since losing Seth. If I come back now, what will the expectations be?"

"You still want to try again with Jake? That's why you say you aren't ready, but I've always known that."

"Paul, this weekend has been amazing. I wanted this, but wouldn't you prefer having someone who could give themselves to you full time?"

"Here we go again. I don't want to fucking date anyone else. Are you saying your love for me is only part time?"

"No, of course not. I love you all the time, but I can't give you all of myself. You know why."

"I swore I wouldn't use a food analogy, but what the hell...it works. What if I get a pizza and Quil and Embry show up? Believe me, it's happened. I could easily eat it myself, I don't like to share; none of us do. What if I pout that they grab a few slices and then I refuse to have my pieces? What good did that do, but leave me with an empty stomach?"

"Are you equating my love for more than one man to pizza?"

"Sorta, I'm just letting you know as long as I have part of you, I'll never be empty. Does that make any sense because now I'm hungry? Can we order pizza when bumblebee gets home?"

"Sure, but can you at least promise me that in the mean time, while I'm still trying to figure out my next move that you might consider seeing if there is someone else out there that might give you even more fulfillment than I'm capable of?"

"I'll think about it, you aren't thinking about seeing someone around here are you?"

"Um no, I have some friends from school. One male teacher has asked me out a few times, but I've always turned him down." She saw the tension rise up in him. "Stop it, you're gritting your teeth. I said I'm not interested. He's nice and I've talked to him a couple of times. That's it."

"He's nice because he wants to get you on top of his desk."

"He does not, you're being ridiculous."

"Maybe I'll change my flight and come up to your school tomorrow."

"No, you will not. Why am I so stupid? I shouldn't have said anything."

Soon Renee, Phil and Layla were at the door. Layla ran into Paul's arms and showed him some new toy she had.

"Mom, I said don't get her something every time she's over."

"Oh Bella, it's only a little something. That's what grandparents do. We're supposed to spoil her. So, I take it you two had some fun, adult time." Here she goes.

"Mom," it was embarrassing enough Renee asked those types of thing in private, but Phil was standing right there.

Paul proudly stated, "Oh yeah, more than you can imagine."

Even her mom blushed.

"Renee, Charlie isn't my number one fan, so just in case you talk to him, keep this weekend to yourself," he winked at her mom.

"Oh, that's silly...Bella's a grown woman. She doesn't have to have Daddy's approval, but okay my lips are sealed."

Bella was showing them out when Mrs. Guff came back to the door. _No,_ would this lady ever quit?

"Good, I saw Layla was coming up the stairs. I brought the kitten."

Layla ran over to see the kitten.

No, she already saw him. Her eyes widened. Layla was so gentle, she reached out and pet the kitten's fur. Bella couldn't help but think he really was a beautiful little cat.

"No, hummingbird, don't do it," Paul tried to reason with her.

"I could even spare all the supplies you need to get started. He's newly weaned, she could have him right now."

Paul pulled her aside, "Bella you can't be serious, don't you know cats and dogs don't mesh well?"

"Technically you're a wolf and Layla's only 19 months old. I've heard if they grow up together, cats and dogs can be great friends. Look how happy she is. I swear, I'm going to take him. I always wanted a pet."

In the end, she took the kitten. Bella was trying to think of a name. Layla had just discovered Disney movies, so she was leaning towards Simba. She insisted on Paul holding him to prove they could get along, but that had been a failed experiment. He scratched the hell out of him before Bella rescued the cat or was she rescuing Paul?

"I've got a better name: how about Satan?"

"No, that's terrible, but she giggled at his wounds that were healing up. I think Scar might be more fitting."

"You do realize this lady gave you that cat so you'd stop having rowdy sex overhead?"

"Yeah, I guess so, but he's going to be for Layla, not me."

"Sooo what about the sex?" he asked.

"Paul, I guess we'll cross that bridge next time you visit."

"But you won't have the professor over here, right?"

"No, what is wrong with you? I said he was nice and asked me out. Drop it."

It was harder than she thought it would be to let him leave that night. She clung to him outside the terminal for a long time. Even though they had definitely changed an important part of their relationship, she still felt like a lot was still the same. He was so accepting, he was a constant and she knew she couldn't live without him, but there were also so many nights her heart ached for Jacob and then even in her sleep, Seth visited her in her dreams. There were still so many unresolved feelings, she felt it was best to stay in Florida a little while longer.

* * *

Paul shocked the hell out of her 3 weeks later, when he said he asked a woman out to dinner. They had been texting quite a bit since his weekend. She felt like their feelings were at an all time high, so when he called her, she was totally caught off guard. He explained the whole thing to her. Susan was 22, her Dad was one of their loyal clients. She had moved back to the area after finishing college. He said it was nice talking to her and for the first time ever he went on a date; not counting her. It was what she wanted, she'd said it over and over, so when he asked if it was okay. She had to give him the only answer he deserved to hear. She told him she was perfectly fine with it. She wanted to mean it, but she was consumed with thoughts late at night. Was that Susan woman getting a taste of Lahote? She would bury her face in the pillow and scream sometimes. She looked at the bare pillow, he had stolen the pillow case; she assumed for the scent. It made her miss him even more. He texted and called less and less and her mind wondered more and more.

She eventually tried her own experiment. Tom, no she kept screwing that up; Tim the science teacher asked her once again for dinner on a Friday. She was so quick to decline he'd already said, "Oh, never mind...I'm sure you're busy with your little girl."

"No, actually I was going to say sure, my Mom has been wanting to have her over. I can go out. What did you have in mind?"

"Oh well, there's this great hibachi place by my house."

That made her stomach flip flop and not in a good way. She grimaced. She couldn't handle that.

"Or I like Italian," he noted.

Then Bella thought of the first date Jacob took her on.

"Or just pizza. I like a good wood fire grilled pizza," was his next suggestion.

Then she thought about Paul's after sex pizza craving.

God, this poor guy, Tom; she meant Tim didn't have a prayer. "How about Mexican? I really like Mexican."

"Oh, sure, I'm not a big spice guy, but yeah I know a place."

She gave him directions to her place and he made plans to be there at 7. Bella tried to have a nice time, she was having an okay time, but the truth was Tim was a tad bit boring. It was her fault, for spending so much time with supernatural beings. He really had very little to offer. He was pleasant looking, but his sense of humor was rehearsed; she swore he practiced in front of a mirror. He talked a lot about science and the place he picked was pretty bland as well. She should have known when he said he wasn't a spice guy that he wouldn't know good Mexican food. Her stomach hadn't felt right all week, so maybe it was her problem.

They started driving back to her apartment. She wasn't about to invite him in, and she hoped he didn't have the nerve to ask. "Would you mind turning up the air?"

It was weird for her but she was so flushed all of the sudden. He kept on talking about superconductors for some unknown reason, and she still felt like the air in the car was smothering her. Gosh, his car was magnificent. It was pristine, must have been brand new. Why did his A/C seem so inept? Someone pulled out in front of them and he made a sudden stop. That one jostling did her in. It must have been the combination of the terrible food, boring conversation and smothering heat, but she barely had a warning.

"Oh god...pull over, Tom!" she yelled.

"Tim," he added.

"Whatever, I'm about to be sick."

"Huh? What kind of sick?" She had her hands over her mouth. "Oh of course, hold on please."

"I'm trying, hurry."

He put on his blinker and tried to get in the outside lane. It all was happening too slow. She couldn't make it. She tried to catch it in her hands, but that didn't happen. She totally corrupted his beautiful new car.

"I'm so sorry, please send me the bill," she told him at the door.

He tried to remain polite, but she could tell he was quickly starting to hate her guts. It had to be one of the most embarrassing moments she'd ever had. As soon as she shut the door the next wave assaulted her and she barely made it to the bathroom.

By the time Renee called, she begged her to let Layla stay all night. Her mom got the wrong idea. "Jeez, Mom are you kidding me, it was the first date." She told her the entire story and how he must of taken her to a food poison infested place. Although he seemed fine, she most definitely ate something that didn't agree with her.

Renee agreed to keep the baby overnight, but before hanging up, she asked, "Bella, are you sure you aren't pregnant?"

"What? No, of course not." When she hung up with her, she did pull her phone out and check dates and count days. Yeah, she was late, but it couldn't be. She was never violently ill like that with Layla.

In true Renee fashion she brought Layla home along with a drugstore bag, "Go, right now young lady. I just know that you're pregnant."

Bella sat on the bathroom floor staring at the truth. What was she going to do? Was Paul finally moving on? Did she really even want him to? How was she going to manage with two kids so close together?

She had a lot to think about, but the extreme morning sickness this time kept her from sorting out too many of life's mysteries. She waited as long as she could, she didn't want him to walk in and see her showing one day. She made the call and asked him to come visit

He immediately went to the shop's computer and booked the flight She had big news for him, but he said he had something to tell her. She was on pins and needles worried that he was going to say he and Susan were serious and then what would her news do to him?

She knew she had very little time before he'd pick up the scent, but he told her he had to get it off his chest first.

"Hummingbird, you were partially right. I did need to try and get to know someone, but all it did was confirm no matter how nice she was or how much I enjoyed her company; she wasn't you. I tried, but I broke up with her before she got hurt. She was getting attached, but I wasn't. Oh, and since I know you're dying to know. I never slept with her. She was a bit old fashioned and I'm glad it never came up, like literally babe. I don't think I can get it up for anyone other than you." She felt the air flood into her lungs. "So there, I tried your experiment, can we never bring it up again?"

Bella felt tears streaming down her cheeks. "You big idiot. I've been so worried. Scratch that...I'm the idiot. I told you to do it. I did the experiment too. I went on a date with the science teacher."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, I did."

"Where does he live?"

"What? I have no idea and I wouldn't tell you that if I did. Paul, stop I have something to tell you. First off, the date was awful. I hated it, he couldn't even make me laugh once and guess what?"

"What?"

"I totally hurled my entire dinner in his brand new care. It was humiliating."

He started to laugh, "I love it, that's classic."

"You know why?"

"Why what?"

"Why I threw up in his car."

"Cuz he was a douche"

"Nope; well he kinda was, but look at me, Paul." She took his hand and put it up to her cheek.

He leaned in and kissed her. She deepened the kiss and took his free hand and moved it to her belly. She was around 10 weeks according to her doctor and her dates. She pulled away to whisper, "I'm growing your baby in there, that's why."

Paul fell to his knees in front of her and pressed his ear against her. Layla came over to see what the excitement was about. Paul pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Hey bumblebee, we're going to have a baby. Isn't that awesome?"

Layla repeated, "Baby." She clapped her hands and then ran off to play again.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

Paul got up, took her hand and headed to the couch with her.

"Yes, of course; but do you know what this means, hummingbird?"

"Well not completely. I mean I was shocked but I'm happy if you're happy."

"It means that those damn birth control pills don't work for shit on you. I hope you tossed them in the trash can." She could always count on him to make her laugh at the most serious of moments.

"I did, but I swear it's shapeshifter genes, not me. I guess we'll never know for sure."

They talked over how they were going to handle it all. Neither of them knew exactly what they should do, but both agreed this was going to stay under wraps from the pack for awhile.

"Charlie and Sue are coming for the holidays, I'll be showing a little."

"Damn me and my big mouth about him never knowing about us, I'm going to eat those words. At least, it seems Jake is more than eager to let me off if I'm coming here to check up on you and bumblebee," he held up his fingers in quotations marks when he said "check up."

"I think my Dad will come around, he loves being a grandfather too much. I know he will love our baby...you, well, that's another story. He'll behave though."

"I'm thinking I like it just being us for awhile. This might be my only chance to have you all to myself," he admitted. "He wants you back, I'm sure of it, you know? He's giving you the time you need. That's why he doesn't visit. When he comes here, it'll be to take you home and I know you'll go."

"I'll be back with you too, Paul."

"Yeah, I know, but for now promise to just be with me until our baby gets here."

"Okay, I promise."

They went to bed that evening and she curled into his side, "So are we going to you know, anytime I visit from here on out because there's a slight chance when you come back to La Push, either Jake or Charlie might have me neutered."

"No one is getting neutered."

"Oh yeah, that's not what you said about that little spawn sleeping in the living room. I can't believe you actually kept that thing."

"He's a cat, maybe it'll help the two of you get along better. He might be more docile afterwards."

"That's the excuse Jake will use as well."

"You're silly, I won't let anyone threaten your genitals."

They're that precious to you, I knew it."

He started tickling her side telling her to say it. "I'm not going to stop til you tell me."

She kept trying to catch her breath. Finally, he gave her a little reprieve.

"If you stop, I'll do better than tell you, I'll show you."

Paul quit his tickle assault and let her do just that.

* * *

_6 months later_

Paul and Bella were at her 38 week check up. She'd been feeling a little funny and she was a bit nervous how fast Layla had made her entrance into the world. She made sure he had some time off with her at the end of the pregnancy.

Her doctor confirmed that she didn't think it would be more than a few days, but it could be as early as 24 hours.

Paul took her out for something to eat and they went for a walk on the beach. Renee and Phil had Layla just in case. She felt like she was waddling through the sand.

"You hanging in there, hummingbird?"

"Yeah, I think it's working. I'm feeling something mainly in my back. How about you? Are you nervous?"

"Little bit. I saw some of Layla's delivery through Seth's eyes. It looked intense."

"It was, but it went fast at least."

Bella decided they should return to the apartment, she didn't want to overdo it in case something happened in the middle of the night. She wanted to get a little rest at least.

They had argued back and forth about the middle name a little more. She kinda wanted her Mom's name, but he wanted her middle name. At least she'd finally talked him into shortening his favorite. He was impatient, so they knew for certain, it was a girl. He wanted Cassiopeia or Andromeda, which was a bit much; so Cassie was their compromise. She told him they should wait til she was born to figure out the middle name.

Bella woke up in the middle of the night to what she was pretty sure were real labor pains, she made it to the bathroom and had a few more signs she was definitely in labor. She ended up starting a warm bath to try and relax. She wasn't going to wait too long before waking Paul. She'd made the mistake last time thinking it was going to take a long time. He came into the bathroom when she was trying to get some pain relief from the warm water.

"This is it, isn't it?"

She shook her as a contraction assaulted her mid-section. She couldn't believe she was doing it again. She'd forgotten how intense it really was.

Paul wouldn't let her wait too much longer. They checked in to Labor and Delivery just before 6 AM. She once again had progressed quickly on her own. She had a little bit more focus the second time around and she didn't beg for drugs like before. Paul was a tremendous help. He was a natural at coaching. Soon it was time to push.

Her doctor asked Paul if he wanted to help out a little more, but he said, "Hell no," then he said, "I mean, no thanks. I'll just stay up here by Bella's head."

After two more pushes, they welcomed the robust cry of their daughter, Cassie Jade Lahote. Bella thought of it at the last second and they both agreed.

"She's so beautiful, hummingbird. I can't believe we made that," He kissed her head.

"She's so perfect Paul, thank you for giving me another beautiful, healthy daughter. I love you so much."

"Love you too."

The nurse handed Cassie to Paul once she was cleaned up and tightly swaddled. Bella watched as he stared at her in awe. He talked to her, she looked attentive to the sound of his voice even though she was a newborn. "I dreamed of you, I wished for you and now you're here. Your mom and I are going to love you forever, my precious little butterfly." Bella was crying by the time he said "dreamed of you."

She had wondered on many occasions why she and Paul were the way they were, but never again; now it all made sense.

_**~Thanks so much for reading.**_

_**It's a fact, my new found love for Paul deeply influenced this fic. It truly expanded the story line. I didn't know if I had it in me, but I have a new fic called Won't Go Home Without You which is strictly Paul/Bella. It's underway and will probably get posted within the next week or two if anyone is interested in checking it out. It will be a very different tale, very little angst: purely romance and adventure. Thanks so much for all the support, I truly appreciate it.**_


	54. Chapter 54

**_~A/N So let me start out by saying I'm a total liar. There's no way I can get the rest of this sorted out in one chapter + an epilogue. That would have happened only if I would have made Jake and Paul all warm and fuzzy and totally accepting of the other's place in Bella's heart. This is Revival, so yeah, that's not happening. I've decided my original last chapter idea might need to be split up into a few smaller ones, so it's not overwhelming. Even the epilogue might end up being a two-parter, so I hope my loyal and faithful readers don't mind a little bit of an extension. I can't help myself._**

**_This chapter starts out with a prologue to the ending of the story and then we flashback to what it was like when Bella arrived back in La Push. Hope that makes sense. Hit me back with what you think._**

**_Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer._**

Chapter 51

Bella brushed her fingers across the inlaid blue flower in the polished granite. She'd made the design up before she ever moved back to Florida. It felt like the right memorial for Seth that the Loyal Sweetheart be included on his grave marker. She never felt like she deserved to be equated with that story, but it was a part of her and Seth's history which made it a special memory for her. She still wore the necklace often. She had taken her ring off after the first year and put in a special place for Layla for when she was older. Bella looked down at her ring finger at the new ring that was there. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she felt like she had Seth's blessing. He would have wanted her to be happy and taken care of which was a given between Jacob and Paul; no harm would ever come to her or her children. She rubbed her other hand over her belly swollen with child, her 3rd one in such a short amount of time. She roughly had another month to go before she and Jacob welcomed their son. So much had happened since coming back to La Push nine months ago and she still had no way to predict how much more would change after the birth. They were pretty certain, this was the child Kelsee first spoke about from her vision. It hadn't all been sunshine and rainbows since moving in with Jacob. She was pulled in different directions and Paul and Jacob, might have had a pack with Seth initially, but they struggled to stay true to it. There were a lot of contentious moments that she was thrown in the middle of. At least things had gotten a little better the closer she got to delivering. Actually, for two strong willed wolves in love with the same woman, it hadn't been as bad as it could have been. No blood was ever shed at least. The girls helped diffuse the situation most of the time. Both men were completely committed to raising them with her.

"Hey, Seth, I never know for sure if you can hear me, but it makes it easier if I talk to you while I'm here. It makes it seem less lonely. I swear, I'm not that different than when we first met. Half the time, I don't know what I'm doing; but at least I know that I'm trying to do my best. I feel like I'm a good mother. I struggled for so long with all my feelings and emotions, but now I accept them. I feel like I know how to balance them and I should never ever label them again as confusion. They're real and I feel like they're a gift. How lucky am I to have loved three wonderful men and have them all love me in return? It isn't what others would consider a societal norm, but we're making our own kind of normal. I miss you everyday, Seth; but the gift of Layla sustains me. She reminds me each and every day of you and for that I'm eternally grateful. Me, Paul and Jacob have had some rough times, and who knows what will happen next; but being here and feeling your presence gives me hope."

* * *

_Flashback 9 months_

She was exhausted when they finally made it to the baggage claim area. The combination of the long trip and the time change had done her in. At least the girls slept a good deal of the flight. She had dozed against Jacob's shoulder several times. She didn't think he ever closed his eyes. Paul's face lit up when he saw them. She was happy to reunite him with his daughter permanently. She pushed the double stroller along so Jacob could get all the bags rounded up. Paul bent down to kiss a sleeping Cassie's head and he patted Layla where she was reclined in the backseat of the stroller. Then his hand covered hers.

"So happy you're here. A month seems like a lifetime now when we're apart."

Paul leaned down and placed a warm kiss to her mouth. She hugged him tightly and breathed in the scent she'd grown so accustom to having surround her over the past year. They broke apart to find a pair of dark eyes scrutinizing them. An array of emotions flashed across his face. He had to have known their bond had strengthened. After all, they did have a daughter together. She took a deep breath, it was going to be a long few weeks as they tried to figure some sort of arrangement out.

"Got everything?" she innocently asked, anxious to get out of the very public airport baggage claim area.

The three of them got to the truck soon after. It was a good thing they were exceptionally strong, because they were able to get the car seats and suitcases in one trip. All she had to do was get the diaper bag and the carry on bag as she pushed the girls in the stroller.

Once they were driving, Bella finally decided to ask, "Where are the girls going to sleep, Jake?"

"Kim sent over a pack n play, I think that's what she called it. Will that work for now?" Kim and Jared still only had Raif and even though; Quil and Sadie as well as Embry and Angela were all married now; there had been no more additions to the pack other than Cassie over the past couple of years. Leah and Sam were finally engaged officially, and Bella was happy she'd be there for their wedding the next month.

"Yes, Cassie had one at Mom's, it'll be fine."

"And I already had an extra bed, so I had Jared move a twin bed in for Layla. The room next door is free. It's a guest room, you'll have everything you need. Does that sound okay?"

"Or you could stay at my house? I've already got my own pack n play," Paul interrupted them.

"You live in one room cottage, they'll be more comfortable at my place. You knew that was the plan."

"No, that was your plan. I haven't heard from hummingbird, yet. Let her speak for herself about what she wants."

Both of them already had a growl to their words as they talked back and forth. After a little bit, Layla stirred, "Momma."

Bella brushed her hand over her head. "It's alright baby girl, Momma's here...rest, everything's fine." She leaned into the front. "Would you two be quiet? I'm going to get three hours of sleep if I'm lucky. The girls are going to wake up at normal time, I'd rather start hashing this all out on a better night's sleep."

"Sorry Bells."

"Don't worry, hummingbird. Sue's coming over in the morning to get the girls. I've already set it all up, so you can catch up on your sleep."

She was relieved to hear that and said she'd get a bag together for them before getting in bed, but he volunteered so she could go ahead and get to sleep. It was true, Paul had spent so much time with her, he knew exactly how to pack a diaper bag. He was in full Daddy mode and she couldn't help smiling as she rested her head back on the seat. He'd even changed his truck over the summer. He had traded it in for an extended cab that accommodated baby seats. She knew he was fully committed to their family.

She had thought Jacob's reaction about Cassie was very contained. She wondered if he was saving what he really thought for when she was back in La Push. He confirmed her suspicions when he quipped to Paul, "You mean Sue doesn't mind watching your kid?" Heavy accent on the your.

"Jake..." she felt irritated that he'd said that, she knew Paul was close to losing his temper. His eyes flashed to the rear view mirror and she shook her head side to side.

"As a matter of fact, Sue told me she's happy to babysit Cassie with Layla anytime when they finally moved back. They're sisters, asshole."

"Sure, sure...I didn't mean anything by it. I was only concerned it might be hard on Sue. Cassie's an innocent baby, now her parents are another story and if you two think I don't have more to say about this cover-up over the past year; you don't know me very well, but I'm going to shut up now because it isn't the right time."

She'd never been more relieved to exit a vehicle in her entire life when they pulled up at Jacob's. She was anxious to explore his home. It had still been under construction when she moved away. He took his time finishing it, because he wanted to be a part of almost each and every detail that went into it. Jacob showed her to the room he had set up for the girls and the room he had in mind for her. Once all the stuff was unloaded, she watched him head down a long hallway to his room. He didn't say much else other that good night and that she could knock if she needed anything.

Paul was busy getting together what the girls needed for Sue's while she changed Cassie and had a seat in a chair in the corner of the room so she could feed her and hope that she went right back to sleep. Once he was done, he asked about extra milk and she told him where to find what she'd brought along in a small cooler. Cassie was almost done, she could always tell when she was drifting off to sleep. He leaned in and kissed his daughter's cheek, but he didn't stop there. He nuzzled his face against her chest. He drug his nose up her breastbone and to her neck where he left one of his scorching kisses.

"I'm so glad my girls are all back home."

She held his cheek with her hand, "Me too."

He took the baby from her and laid her down in the pack n play. He took her hand and led her back to the room she was staying in. Paul shut the door and pulled her close. He kissed her and it wasn't like the one he'd given her in public at the airport. It was the kind they shared in private, but were they really in private with Jacob down the hall?

She pulled away, "Paul, we can't...this is Jake's house."

"I wasn't going to rip your clothes off. I just wanted you to know how much I've missed you." He helped tuck her in the double bed. "But maybe you could come over to my place after you get settled here?" She was certain, she knew what he meant by that, but they weren't in Florida anymore; things were never going to be that simple again and they both knew it. Of course, if she could just say that she loved only Paul and he was Cassie's father, then it would have been easy; but it wasn't like that. She couldn't only love one of them, and it was pointless to try anymore.

Bella told Paul good bye, and he promised to be over early to help out with the girls. He told her he'd already taken a long nap knowing that they were coming back so late. He couldn't help but make one final observation as he was leaving. "Jake's going to be a problem. You know that right? We still have a lot of unresolved shit to deal with, but I'd walk through fire for you, this is where you're supposed to be now."

Thank god for total exhaustion because she didn't have it in her to think about all of it any longer. She closed her eyes feeling both grateful to be back on the reservation and apprehensive to what Jacob meant in the car. Their moments in Florida had been so sweet and familiar, but the atmosphere had changed the second Paul entered the picture at the airport.

* * *

Bella searched around Jacob's kitchen for a coffee mug. She saw no sign of anyone. She briefly woke up when Paul took the girls to Sue's. He volunteered to drive them since he already had the car seats in his truck. She knew he'd probably stick around to help Sue as well. As soon as they were out the door, she feel back to sleep for several more hours. She knew Billy lived there in the only downstairs bedroom, but she saw the door was opened. She assumed he was gone as well. She found a fruit plate in the fridge that he must have left her. He remembered how much she liked her fruit in the morning. His kitchen was very organized, in fact; it looked exactly how she would have arranged it, so it was easy to find everything she needed. Jacob came in as she was rinsing out her cereal bowl.

"You get enough sleep?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so. Your home is very beautiful Jacob. I hope you don't mind, I took a peak around."

"No, I invited you to live with me. I would assume you'd want to familiarize yourself with it, since it's your home now."

She appreciated his offer more than he knew, but she felt the need to explore that arrangement a little further, "About that, Jacob. I...I don't know, we're sorta rushing things again. I mean, it's obvious, you're still upset with me and I get that. Maybe we shouldn't be living here."

He surprised her when he said, "You lied to me, Bells."

"I know...I know I didn't tell you about Cassie. You and I didn't even speak anymore. I felt like it was the right decision at the time. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm not even talking about that. I'm talking about you and Paul. You two are a real couple, it wasn't just one night of healing for either of you. I asked if you were together, if that's what you wanted and you didn't give me a straight answer. I've lost you again, haven't I?" He walked over to the wall of windows next to the breakfast nook and looked outside. He brought his hands over his face and made some noises of frustration before he turned back around. "Why did it always have to be so hard for us, when it was so obvious to me you were meant for me? We never caught a break, not once. Do you have any idea how fucking hard I've had it?"

"Yes, I've hard it hard too Jake." Her mind flashed a image of Seth. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. What are we going to do?"

"I can do it, Jake. I use to feel guilty about it, think it was somehow wrong, but I know now that I can love you both the way you deserve to be loved. My heart is big enough for both of you and for however many children we might have together and for Charlie and Sue; and of course, the pack. I know it won't be easy, and I never did my part when you asked me this question, but will you trust me?" She approached him at the window. She felt so drawn to him, she wanted to hold him and somehow convince him what she was saying wasn't completely crazy.

His eyes pierced her soul like they'd done so many times before. "I'm not ready, but can we start over as friends again?"

"Yes."

"I will try my damnedest to wrap my head around what's between you and Paul, but the three of us need to sit down together and iron out some details. Right now, all I want to do is punch him in the throat, so maybe you should keep up separated for awhile."

"What about Cassie?"

"He can come see her as much as he wants, you know I'd never come between them, and I assume the two of you will spend some time in private. I understand."

Jacob extended his arms and she walked into them. She sighed against his chest. "Thanks Jacob, for everything...for taking care of us, for trying to make sense of what seems like an impossible situation. It's going to all be okay one day, I just know it."

He halfway laughed, "You sure about that, Bells?"

"Yes, I was the forever pessimist, but not anymore. I've been reformed. I'm an optimist now, and one day you'll be one with me."

She looked up at him with complete love and devotion. His mind hadn't agreed with her assessment quite yet; but she saw something else in the way he looked at her, his heart knew everything she was saying was true. It was all she needed for the moment to feel completely content that she was home for good.

_**~Thanks so much for reading.**_

_**As a distraction from this angst-fest, I have posted my two latest stories if any of you wish to give them a look. Some of you have already shown me your support and I'm very appreciative.**_

_**Butterfly Wishes-Jacob/Bella AH, young romance set in the 1950's**_

_**Won't Go Home Without You-Paul/Bella adventure romance **_


	55. Chapter 55

_**Still continues in Bella's flashback...**_

Chapter 52

Bella was surprised at how quickly, she and Jake fell into a routine. She had been there roughly a week, and was anxious to get together with everyone again. She was busy cleaning house because Paul had Cassie and Grandpa and Mimi had taken Layla out for the afternoon.

"Bells, you don't have to do this. I have a lady that comes by and cleans once a week. I can call her."

"Well, not that I want to put someone out of a job, but you can cancel that, Jacob. I don't want another person cleaning my house."

He raised an eyebrow.

She shrugged, maybe she should have worded it "his house while she was a guest," but what was the point? He kept saying it was her home too.

Jacob and Paul were avoiding each other unless it involved the pack. She had been over to his place a few times and created a little space for her and Cassie. They needed time together in private, so it made sense that she have some things there. She and Paul made a decision after Cassie was born to use protection without fail. She thought the breastfeeding would help in that area, but they couldn't be too careful. He assured her it was also going to help keep the peace with Jacob if he never smelled him on her. The two of them had a long conversation about putting their physical relationship on hold again. Despite how much she loved them both, she didn't feel like she could go back and forth between their beds.

"You've already let Jake?" She furiously shook her head before he finished his question.

"No, I just meant that he and I are in a rebuilding process, maybe I need to be celibate, same as him. You knew things were going to be different when I moved back."

"Trust me, I know celibacy and it sucks." He reluctantly agreed, but somehow, on the last visit; he'd swept her away again like so many other times and it happened while Cassie was having a nap. "No one has to no what goes on between us, hummingbird. It's not anybody's business. You're not claiming to be something else."

"Bells, did you hear me?"

"Huh," she'd been thinking about Paul when Jacob had answered his phone. "No, what was that?"

"Layla has a tummy ache. Grandpa most likely gave her too much candy. Sue's bringing her home early. Do you need me to do anything to help?"

"No, it's fine. I think it's all about ready."

Layla came in looking a little green around the edges and her Dad apologized. He'd let her load up on toppings at the frozen yogurt place. Sue said she'd warned him, so Bella tucked her in her bed hoping she'd sleep it off and feel better for the welcome home party.

She finished up the last bit of food preparations and had gotten everything in the oven. She gushed over the kitchen to Jacob a few times and he admitted, everything he did; he always had her in mind. She couldn't help but notice some of the stuff looked brand new. She guessed he still wasn't much of a cook.

Paul came in with a cranky baby. She was ready for her Mommy time, so Bella took a break to feed her and get her down for a nap as well. Usually Paul didn't stick around, but he was invited for the dinner; so he had a seat in the great room. Bella and Jake both exited their rooms at the same time and started down the stairs after hearing a knock at the door. Bella laughed when she saw Paul frozen in fear while Scar had him in a stare-down. Scar was completely content with his new surroundings, but not so much with Jake or Paul just yet. However, he had a new ally in Billy. He loved purring in his lap every evening. Jake called him a traitor.

Bella had let it slip her mind that Angela and Embry were stopping by early. The problem still existed for Embry even after they were gone two years and he was totally in love with his wife.

Bella hugged both her old friends. Marriage looked good on them. They were all having a little bit of small talk when Bella heard movement on the stairs.

"Momma, I all better now," Layla was running full speed ahead. She had a habit of running into people's legs. She ran straight to Embry and clung to him. "Uncle Embreeze, Aunt Angelas." She knew them from her picture book and Layla greeted everyone with a hug.

Jacob jumped up. "Embry, the order still stands. Do not look at her."

He was a quivering mess. She could see the tremors running up and down his limbs.

"I...I thought she was with Sue," he stuttered.

"I'm sorry she wasn't feeling well," Bella informed him.

"What? Is she okay?" Embry looked at the top of her head, all Layla had to do was look up and their eyes would have met.

Paul swooped in and saved the day, "Come on bumblebee. Let's get something to drink in the kitchen." He whisked her off to the kitchen and Angela stepped in front of her husband.

"Em, look at me. It's me, your wife, your chosen mate. It's okay. Layla's okay. You love her, we all do, it's going to be okay." She was rubbing up and down his arms.

Angela was definitely a gift. Bella wasn't even sure Jacob's order was going to carry them all through that moment. She'd completely calmed him down. Jacob pulled him outside after that.

Bella hugged Angela tightly at the door, "I'm so sorry. I'll pay better attention next time."

"No, us too. We won't come around again unless we're completely sure. He's going to be fine and please apologize to Layla. She's precious, I look forward to the day we can all be together again. Goodbye Bella. We're so happy you and the girls are back in La Push."

Jacob came back in, the two of them made eye contact. He didn't need to tell her what he was thinking, she was already thinking it as well. "Later," she mouthed.

He shook his head no.

"Paul, hang out with Layla, Bella have to talk about something in private."

Jacob took her hand and walked her up the stairs and to his bedroom. She'd never been in there. It was the one room, she hadn't gone in. It was large and kinda resembled exactly what she'd imagined for Jacob, it wasn't very feminine which was understandable. Maybe, she could eventually make a few changes.

"That was a fucking close call."

"I know," she agreed.

"I thought we all were more careful, we had it down to a science before you left Bells. Think about all the consequences if that would have occurred. Kelsee already said Embry could die. He and Angela are trying to start a family. I know you don't want Layla bound to a man old enough to be her father. We can't let this continue. You aren't leaving again, and Embry can't be released from the pack."

"I know that Jake, but Cassie's not even four months. I can't snap my fingers and be pregnant. I'm tired and I'm breastfeeding her and you and I haven't even had a kiss on the lips. Are you seriously considering us taking a tumble in your sheets before the pack gets here for dinner tonight?"

"No, I realize what you're saying. I don't regret Cassie, she's a part of the pack, but you and Paul should have thought before you acted last year."

"I was on the pill. I thought I was being responsible," she raised her voice.

"For one thing, I accept you love Paul. Okay, I get it. I don't like it, but I know something larger than us is at play. But you're going to have to stop sleeping with him right now. No more..I'm not having another, who's the daddy scenario. Our child is destined to be born."

"How'd you? I mean, it was just once and we were careful. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"The scent of latex lingers, if you must know. So you can never hide from me. I'll fucking leave town if you two have to...never mind; but for now, do we have an agreement?"

"Yes, but I can't help but feel like we're making a business deal. I...I love you Jake. I imagined something a little different when we finally found our way back in each other's arms."

He took her hand and pulled it around his back. He grabbed hold of her and before she knew what was happening, he pulled her against him and pressed his mouth against hers. It had been so long, but it felt so right. He kissed her the way she desired to be kissed. She opened her mouth for him and he took advantage. Jacob made her remember exactly how much he loved her and how much she loved him in return. When he finally pulled away, leaving her breathless and disoriented, "I can promise you Bells, when I make a baby with you, he or she will only be conceived in love. That didn't feel like business, did it?"

She was shaking her head, before she got out one word, "No."

* * *

The dinner went off without a hitch. Paul had informed them all what happened with Embry, so everyone agreed to be on the lookout for potential run ins. Charlie and Sue stopped off to visit as well. The three of them headed off to Billy's small living quarters while the pack took turns getting to know the more grown up version of Layla and little Cassie. She was completely content with all of them. Maybe she somehow sensed they were also her family. Bella was surprised that all the other married women had been trying for babies with no such luck. She looked up at Jake from her seated spot at his table. Could this be one other thing that was dependent on them? It was obvious Kim and Jared could get pregnant, but why was there a hold on all of them. Even Leah said she was shocked as hell when her cycles returned last year; she thought it was a sign she and Sam were soon to be blessed, but it still never happened for them either. She and Jacob had a deal, Leah could still phase, but she did less and less. She understood, if he needed her back; she'd have to comply. Collin and Brady brought their girlfriends over. They were twins, which was extremely confusing, because they really looked identical. They met them at a club, but they were only there to attend a sorority friend's engagement party. The boys had a couple of twisted fantasies when they saw Julia and Ella from across the crowded bar scene. Turns out they were from super strict backgrounds. They were very nice ladies and made the last two confirmed bachelors work for it. They had to retire their perverse fantasies and actually figure out what it was like to really be in a true relationship. Brady whispered to Bella he already had a ring stored away Julia, but Collin was dragging his feet. He thought Ella was going to be pissed if her sister got a ring and she didn't. She loved the way everyone was settled down and had someone. Of course, their own pack twins were only Seniors in high school, so they weren't serious with anyone as of yet.

She was so happy to see how they'd grown and matured. She wasn't surprised that Trevor still challenged Jacob from time to time. He was quite the strong-willed one. Layla grabbed his leg as he was headed out the door. "Trev, don't go."

He laughed and picked her up. "Ah, I have to pretty girl. I still have a curfew, but you probably don't know what that is. You'll be seeing a lot of me from now on." Bella couldn't help but notice Layla really had an eye for him. Maybe she'd picked out her favorite pack member. Trevor was a cutie like all of them and even though he tried to remain a little edgy like he had to prove something, she could tell he was a charmer. He'd been especially sweet to both her daughters. He hugged Bella and told her how happy he was to have her and her cooking back. He winked at Layla and her and left with his brother after that.

Once everyone was gone and Jake was cleaning up, Paul pulled her out to the wrap around porch. "Not that I was eavesdropping, but I heard earlier. He's right, I know my place, hummingbird; always have," he added. "I will continue to be here for you, and I'm still going to get jealous, but you have my blessing. It's for our family, all of them. I love you." He kissed her and made his exit. When he left, she felt like a piece of her went with him. Their love was real and it was powerful, but Paul was always the first one to recognize what she needed even before she knew herself.

Jacob told Bella if she was not too tired after getting the girls to bed to meet up with him in the study. Luckily for her the girls went out pretty easy. Cassie first and then Bella laid down for a little while to read to Layla.

"Did you have fun tonight being with all your aunts and uncles?"

"Yes, Momma. I like Trev."

"I could tell. He's really nice." She brushed her daughter's hair with her hand. She felt so peaceful knowing that Layla was where she needed to be, with the pack. They talked a little bit more before Layla suddenly stopped. She was so funny the way she talked herself to sleep.

Bella opened the french door to the small study off the side of the kitchen to find Jacob opening a bottle of wine. He had the lights dimmed. Did he mean right now? They'd just had their talk before dinner. Of course, they'd had their kiss as well and honestly, she'd been thinking about it for hours.

"Hey, girls are out?" she announced.

"For the night?" was his hopeful question.

"I hope so. Cassie's been holding off til 5 or 6 lately. Soooo..." she was examining the room. It definitely felt romantic.

"You can have a glass, can't you?"

"Sure, although, you know I rarely do."

"Yeah, me neither, but I've met some people in the art world and they know good wine. Trust me, this is really good." He poured her a glass and then one for himself. They talked about how nice it was to be with the pack again. Jacob told her that Kim and Leah had tried to keep it together while she was gone, but Bella always did it best. She downplayed his praises. He was right the wine was exceptional, but she only slowly sipped her one glass. Jacob had a couple. He sat his glass down and faced her. She was sitting on her legs underneath her and her body twisted to the side.

"Bells, the friendship idea...um, it never has really worked so good for us. I know it's only been a week, but..."

"I know."

"So you feel the same way?"

"Yes, but Jacob...about trying for a baby. It might not be that simple. I'm still breastfeeding Cassie and I don't want to quit so soon. It affects things, I don't even cycle yet. I'm thinking it might take a little while."

"Well, I'm willing to practice til we get it right, if you are." He was slowly making his way closer to her. Jacob leaned in and rubbed his nose along her jawline. "I'm thinking that it won't take that long, Bells. You're very fertile, my wolf senses it."

Why did Jake whispering about her fertility, make her tingle all over? She never planned on having baby after baby, but she hadn't planned on the life she had either. Jacob interrupted her thoughts, by making his move. They revisited that kiss from his room earlier. Her mind and body reminded her of the first time in Charlie's kitchen. Physically, it was so effortless for them. They were quickly heating up and Jacob asked if she wanted to go to his room. She held his hand and followed him up the stairs. It was really happening. She and Jacob were going to start over or start afresh; she wasn't sure which.

Paul had essentially given his blessing. The pack always accepted her as the alpha female according to both Seth and Jacob. Was she finally ready to fully embrace her calling? Jacob picked her up when she reached the top of the stairs. It seemed that nothing would stop the inevitable, but then...

"Momma, Cassie's crying. I have a bad dream." Layla was standing in the hallway to meet them.

Jacob stopped in his tracks right in front of his door. He slowly put her down so Bella could check on her children.

"Sorry," was all she said.

"Meet me in my room whenever they're back down. I understand."

Bella went in the room to take care of Cassie and to tuck Layla back in her bed. Layla didn't say what the dream was about. It was a new thing for Bella to hear her mention dreaming, but she was changing and growing so fast. She always amazed her. She was completely at ease since Bella was in their room and went back to sleep pretty quick. Cassie was another story, she was pretty fretful. Her regular crib had come a few days before, but maybe she still sensed being in new surroundings. Bella ended up leaving the bedroom and walked the house with her. She tried all her tricks, but nothing was working. She lost all track of time, and didn't even remember going to her room, but she woke up at four in the morning in her own bed with a sleeping Cassie cocooned in a spot she'd made for her in the bed with her. She usually didn't sleep with her, but some nights were desperate. She hoped Jacob didn't wait up too long. She'd totally blown their plans all to hell. She'd save her apologies for later, and soon fell back to sleep.

* * *

She and the girls were up in the kitchen. Layla wanted scrambled eggs. Billy wheeled in and asked if she had enough for him.

"I share, chief." Layla told him.

He laughed. Billy was quickly becoming attached to the girls.

"Where's my son this morning?"

"Um, I'm not sure." She didn't know if he was still asleep or had gone out. She kind of felt nervous about running into him after standing him up at the bedroom door the night before. Charlie let himself in and came in the kitchen with them.

"Morning kiddos."

"Grandpa!" Layla ran to him.

"Bells, I need to speak to Jacob. The letter came."

Billy and Charlie had it under control in the kitchen, so she went to his room to see if he was still in.

Bella knocked, but there was no answer.

"Jake," she called out as she slowly opened the door.

His bed wasn't made but he wasn't in it. He must have gone in the bathroom. She took a few steps inside. He walked out of the bathroom before she had the chance to call his name again. He must have just gotten out of the shower. He'd only put his jeans on and his hair was still wet.

He flashed her a toothy grin, "You never showed." He walked over to her and planted a kiss to her lips. "Morning."

"Morning...I know, I'm sorry Cassie wouldn't go back to sleep. You didn't wait too long, did you?"

"Nah, maybe until 3."

"3!" She felt terrible, maybe he was joking. "No you didn't."

"Um, have you forgotten how long I've been living like a monk? Yeah I did."

"I'm so sorry Jake, I fell asleep."

"I figured that because after she stopped crying and you never came back."

"I'll make it up to you, I swear." Jacob leaned down again and let his hand slide from its resting spot on her back down to her bottom. He was about to kiss her again, when she told him her real reason for going to his room that morning. "But not now, Charlie's downstairs, the Cullen's sent a letter."

Little did she know how important that letter was going to end up being. Carlisle had written it and he included a phone number. Once Jacob called him, it became evident; something big was going on. Jacob was actually going to travel to Seattle with some of the guys and they were going to have a face to face meeting with the Cullen's. It turned out Edward had been living with that coven in Italy, the Volturi. He had done some terrible things because of his despair that he'd lost Bella to the wolves. Jacob needed to get all the details because this was potentially the worst threat the tribe would ever face.

He was busy making calls. They would have a long pack meeting later that afternoon. Bella decided to run to the store for more food. Turns out she was feeding them all again.

"Dad, can Layla go with you tonight? Embry has to be here."

"Sure Bells. Layla can stay with me anytime. How's that sound princess? Grandpa and Layla are going to have a movie night."

"Yeah."

"No junk food, Dad."

"Oh just a little Bells, but I've learned my lesson after the gummy bears, nerds and chocolate chips. I know better to cut her off. She's a tiny thing, but she can eat. More than you ever did, that's for sure." Jacob looked puzzled at the observation about Layla.

"What if I have a bad dream?" Layla shocked them by bringing that up again.

Charlie assured her he was the other kind of chief, the one that protected people against scary things. He actually pulled out his badge and let her examine it, then he added he had a gun. Bella wished he hadn't mentioned that.

"Dad, don't tell her about guns."

Layla jumped in his arms and squealed, "Good Grandpa, you shoot scary man."

"What scary man is that Little Bit," Jake patted her head.

"The one with red eyes."

All of them stopped their movements and conversations. Bella felt fear and terror wash over. She had never let one thing about vampires be mentioned around her child. How did she know something like that? What was coming for them, and would they ever be prepared enough to face it?

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**A/N Next chapter will finish off the main body of the story. Thinking we might need to hear from a certain alpha's perspective again.**_


	56. Chapter 56

**_~A/N Quick explanation: I wrote the last chapter, but surprise, surprise it turned out extremely lengthy. (Well over 11,000 words) I had to split it in Parts 1 &amp; 2\. I think I found the perfect spot to break it in half. It might make a few of you scream at me. LOL!_**

**_Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer._**

* * *

_"If someone's meant to be yours, eventually they will be."_

* * *

Chapter 53: Part 1

Jacob POV

Jacob was trying to concentrate and ignore the conversations of his brothers. There initially was a somber mood in the car, but having them cooped up for a few hours usually induced some teasing and rowdy behavior. He had chosen Sam, Jared, Quil and Embry to ride with him to the meeting with the Cullen's. Paul wanted to be there, but there were several reasons he didn't feel like that was the best idea. He was the wolf that took out Edward, and he also knew he'd be the best protection for Bella because he had no idea how long they'd be gone. Probably they were looking at least 12 hours considering the drive and the meeting. Although, the number one reason was he didn't need the distraction. His wolf wanted to rip the competition apart pretty much every time they were in the same room together. The cramped quarters of the car would have been even worse.

Jacob was use to Paul. They had come a long way over the years. In the end, he was the best choice as his beta when he took the pack over from Sam. He couldn't help but wonder, was he to blame for setting this whole thing in motion? He had sent Paul off on several missions regarding Bella in the beginning. He essentially thrust him into the situation and made him a part of her life. Would they have found their way to each other anyway? He had a long talk with Kelsee about it as soon as they all returned and she insisted yes, they would have found their connection no matter what. The past ten days or so had been so challenging. He was so relieved to have Bella back where she belonged. Those two years were the empty years for him. However, once he stopped fighting with her about leaving, he realized she needed it to heal. He imagined her coming back whole and they would finally have their chance.

He knew that she and Paul had strong feelings for each other, but he still didn't imagine the outcome that had occurred. Cassie was a beautiful child, so much like his Bells; but she was a constant reminder that Jacob would never have Bella all to himself. Very little was going the way he'd imagined. At least, they were apparently back to a starting place. He felt conflicted about insisting they break the curse as soon as possible. He would have preferred things were different, that he and Bella could start up a normal relationship. He wanted to give her all that she deserved, but so many unknowns lingered. He needed his pack at their best. The curse that loomed over their heads was a constant distraction. Before he went after Bella, Kelsee told him it was time and she didn't just mean time for her to be home.

"All right, time to get focused; everybody shut up. I have no idea what we're dealing with today. At least the bloodsucker sat up a meeting in a public place." Carlisle had given Jacob directions to a restaurant which seemed strange since they didn't eat, but he agreed. Where else where they going to meet them?

"Are they going to buy us lunch, cuz I'm already hungry?" Quil piped up.

"I don't know, do you really want to eat in front of those creepy bastards?"

He shrugged but then shook his head. Quil didn't care, obviously.

It wasn't surprising that the place had an upscale feel to it. They were going to stand out like a sore thumb. Jacob smelled them before the hostess even opened the door. Four of them had showed making him breathe a sigh of relief that he'd brought four making them outnumber the bloodsuckers. They were escorted into a private dining room. The doctor, and a pained looking vamp were sitting next to each other along with a big guy and blonde female clinging to his arm.

The males all stood up to greet them. If they expected a handshake they were shit out of luck. Jacob nodded to his men and they sat down.

Carlisle reintroduced his coven. Jacob pretty much knew who was who because of Bells, but he humored them and introduced Sam, Quil, Jared and Embry. The doctor vamp got straight to the point. He produced a series of rambling letters written by Edward. His plans to annihilate the wolves and take Bella back had backfired. Aro was much more interested in the little human girl that knew about their kind and who also possessed some sort of power against Edward's mind reading abilities. Edward eventually realized the conundrum he'd created. He never wanted her hurt, but he couldn't take back all he'd shown the Volturi coven. Turns out one of their members, Caius had a vendetta against werewolves although Aro had read Edward's accounts and he recognized the La Push pack as shapeshifters. Caius saw no point in separating the two; he said wolves were enemies of their kind no matter which kind. He encouraged Aro to lead a surprise attack and destroy the pack of shifters and then he'd turn over the human to Aro to do with whatever he chooses.

Edward bought some time by freely giving his services to the coven. He did whatever was asked of him. All those events went on for almost two years, until he eventually made the excuse of missing his family. He promised to return and Aro trusted him for some reason. Instead, Edward made a stop in Romania. He gave vital information to Stefan and Vladimir essentially creating a few problems for Aro. He hoped the distraction would escalate and keep him from going through with his plans. Edward had also done his best convincing them that the wolves weren't such an easy target. He showed glimpses of them in battle, as well as explained their immense strength, speed and healing abilities. He had been much closer than anyone realized when Nadia attacked with her small band of newborns.

Finally, Edward briefly met with his father. He was full of regrets. Jacob could care or less how distraught his foster father felt about losing his son. Carlisle never acted like he blamed the pack, at least. It was his belief Edward went back to Washington to end his mental torment. If he'd really been capable of loving Bella, he never would have done what he did in the first place. The fact that essentially he committed suicide rather than face the consequences of his actions or even try and help defend her from the pressing threat proved to Jacob what a despicable creature he was all along.

Carlisle had one glimmer of hope for them. Aro did indeed have his hands full with talks of overthrowing his group and lots of dissension in his world. He was much more consumed with issues going on near his homeland and threats from his own kind. Carlisle promised to monitor it from the sidelines. He vowed to travel to Volterra himself if it came to that. Aro had a certain amount of respect for him. Carlisle and Jasper tried to explain to them that vampires don't view time at all like humans did. Something a vampire said was pressing might be fifty years down the road.

Jacob had listened to all he could stand. "Tell it to me straight, how much time do we have? What numbers do you think he would bring?"

The vamp doctor gave him a vague response, "It's my belief, you have a while."

"Five years...ten what the fuck is awhile?"

The big guy, Emmett chuckled at Jacob's brand of getting to the point. Rose jabbed her bright red, polished finger into his side.

He shrugged, but added. "I wouldn't expect less than fifty. Aro is thorough."

A chorus of curses rang out inside the fancy restaurant. Jacob wiped his hand over his face. He couldn't stand to look at them for a split second. They were strong, but only 11 after losing Seth. They had the twins on the lookout at school over the past two years. Not one boy or man had shown any signs. How could they go up against 50 vamps, many with special powers? Of course, Carlisle offered his family if it ever came to that. Jacob didn't see how that would work, vampires fighting alongside them; but he'd do anything to keep his tribe safe, especially Bells.

Carlisle and Jacob agreed to keep the lines of communication open. He was so ready to get the hell out of there and away from them even if they were attempting to help. He couldn't help hating them. The blonde one, spoke up,"How are Bella and her daughter doing?"

"She's fine except for this worrying her half to death, and it's two daughters now."

She looked lost for a second. Did vamps really have feelings?

"Oh that's lovely, tell her I said congratulations. Would any of you share a photo?"

Jacob was about to tell her to fuck off, but Bella probably would have wanted him to behave differently. Sam volunteered since Leah lived for taking pictures. Blondie clutched her hand over her non-existent heart and forced a smile, "Beautiful. Whatever it takes, we'll help you protect them."

Finally, the meeting was ready to adjourn and Quil's wishes came true as the Cullen's made their exit. The waitstaff brought in a virtual feast for them to enjoy before they drove back. They made it out of the city, but as soon as they got to a pull off for the national forest, Jacob stopped the car, "I don't know about you guys, but I've gotta have a run to keep myself from exploding in Bella's brand new SUV."

They filed out and made a break for the woods. Jacob remembered the shock on her face when he showed her the Escalade he'd bought her. She insisted it was too extravagant, but she needed space for the growing family they'd soon have. He'd looked at other SUV's, but he quickly settled on the Cadillac. His wolf snapped the air, he was on edge after hearing the challenges they faced, they needed the run desperately after the sit down with the Cullen's, but he was just as anxious to get back to her. That night there'd be no interruptions. He was going to help her with the girls, they needed to feel more comfortable in the home they'd grow up in and he was ready to be a father to her children no matter what. If they were Bella's, they were also his. He wanted to prove that over and over to her.

* * *

Bella's POV

Paul had driven her and the girls to Kelsee's. She really need to see her again to talk about Layla. She'd barely slept the night before even though Jacob had insisted she stay in his room with him. Cassie had slept through the night, nothing like the night before, but Bella was way too shaken up to start anything up with him. He knew, and only held her. He tried to comfort her and make promises to keep them protected, but she knew he had no idea what they were up against.

Kelsee told her they all might receive some types of visions and to be attentive to the possible meanings. She had no idea why such a small child like Layla received one, but it was good she could communicate it with them even if she was too young to understand. Bella explained what had happened to Embry. She glanced at Paul, and he got the hint without her having to ask for privacy.

"Come on, Bumblebee; let's take Butterfly and go outside for a little while. Layla followed him and he carried Cassie. She admired so many things about him, but the way he loved her girls was one of his best qualities. All the nicknames he'd chosen carried the same theme. He bragged to her he felt like a flower in the garden whenever they swarmed around him.

"You're a flower?" She had questioned him once. They both had a good laugh over his strange assessment.

Once he was out of the cabin, she brought up what the latest plan was. Of course, Kelsee knew already. Jacob had confided in her so much over the years. Bella was certain she had taught him a lot things and her guidance had helped him with his temper and maturity.

"A lot's a stake, I'm scared," she admitted.

"Of course you are, dear; but you're strong. I know you're up for the challenges ahead."

Bella had so much on her mind. Her girls were her priority, but breaking the curse was equally important. Especially since it meant another child. She also asked Kelsee since there is an obvious threat looming, was it the smartest thing to do; bringing more children in their world. She didn't only mean herself. She and Jake had a sinking suspicion that as soon as they had one, a baby boom might follow within the pack.

"Precisely, Isabella and instead of worrying be grateful because without them, there is no future for any of you."

"There's going to be a new pack, isn't there? Our kids aren't going to spared."

She shook her head, but added. "It will be different, you all have past mistakes that you've learned from. They'll be more informed, which will make them stronger. I promise they will also be way more content."

Bella thought about how she already had talked about the wolves to Layla. It was more of a story, but gradually they all agreed the next generation would not be blind-sided.

"So this is it, I have this child with Jacob, the curse is lifted and you'll be gone. I don't know how we will all manage without your wisdom."

Kelsee put her arm around her, "Never mourn me, I'm tired child. I used to beg for death until my hope was renewed when I had the vision. I'm thankful we all had the chance to know each other, but the time has come. You will all be fine, you've learned all that I could teach you. The rest is up to you and the pack."

She soon went outside to find Paul and the girls. They headed back to Jake's house, so they could have lunch and the girls could get a nap. He stayed with her. They talked for hours like old times. She knew he'd always be her rock, but he was struggling with what was happening. She could see it in his eyes. In the end, she chose not to bring it up. Eventually, she heard from Jake that they would soon be home. She called everyone else that had stayed and they all were heading over to see how the meeting went.

The pack plus Charlie, Sue, Billy and even Grandfather had crammed into Jacob's great room. Kim stayed upstairs with the children. Raif had been eager to have playmates for a change. He and Layla were buddies already and he was quite taken with baby Cassie. Jacob told them the entire story. She felt numb, but she trusted Carlisle. She was sure she trusted him more than any of the pack did, but if he said her was going to help; she knew he'd keep his word. It was late before the last one left. Jacob surprised her when he asked to help at bath time. He was paying close attention to their routine and he read to Layla while she got Cassie down for the night, fingers crossed. He had a hot bath ran for her when she headed to his room for the night. She had moved her stuff in already. She relaxed longer than normal in the bath and she was confident the decision she'd made in there was the right one.

She climbed in bed with him. He was propped up against the headboard. He put his arm around her, and was about to reach over to hit the lights.

"Wait, I need to say something."

"Okay, what is it honey? I know it seems like we got a lot of bad news, but it's going to be okay. We're going to win, I don't know how or when it might be; but those vamps won't succeed. I truly believe that."

"I believe you, Jake but I have something else I need to say." She took a deep breath and angled herself so she could fully face him. "I don't want to have sex with you." There she'd said it out loud.

The shocked look on his face said it all, "Um...okay. Wow, you've been fine tuning your insults. I thought...forget it, I don't know what I thought was happening between us."

"It wasn't an insult. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. Hear me out, Jake. That was never our issue and you know it. I could climb over you right now and we'd have mind-blowing sex and we'd feel so connected and close. Who knows, I might conceive as well, but think about our history. We carried on a secret affair for months, but our love making was perfect. I don't even know what it's like to be in a real relationship with you. I think we need to start from scratch which might be difficult, but maybe we could go out on a date or a few dates. I know I said I never wanted to go back to the cliffs, but now I do. I want us to have it all. You have no idea how much I loved having you tonight helping me with the children. We felt like a real family." He seemed to relax a little when she told him the whole reason she wanted to wait.

"I was happy to help and I admit it; Paul acts like fucking dad of the year and I'm jealous. I think Layla sees him as her father just as much as Cassie. I'm not asking for them to call me Dad, but I want them to feel like I fill the role as well. I want them to trust me and come to me for anything."

"They will. They're lucky girls. Plenty of kids never have one man to step up and act like a father and they'll always have two, even more counting the grandfathers and all the uncles."

Jacob leaned in a placed a soft kiss to her lips. "So no sex, huh? How long?"

"I don't want a timetable, when its right we'll know."

"I agree, but..." he acted like he didn't know what to say next.

"You can kiss me Jake. Please do, I want you to, but yeah...that's it for now. We need to open up to each other more, not just physically. I want us to tell each other things, like when we first started hanging out."

"Okay, what do you want to know, Bells?"

"Tell me what scares you the most."

"That's easy, losing you."

"Well, I can promise without a doubt, I'll never leave of my own free will again, but Jake you have to concede that you can't protect me from everything in the world. Things happen, you and I both know that. People get sick, accidents happen, vampires might be hunting me."

"Jesus Bells...where's all this coming from? I thought 'I don't want to have sex with you' was bad enough. I refuse to accept anything you suggested. I can protect you against anything, and I will."

When he said that, she sort of believed him. He was very convincing. She hoped nothing ever came between them again, but she wasn't supernatural like they were which did make her more vulnerable than he wanted to admit.

* * *

They did exactly as Bella had asked for the next few weeks. She and Jacob were happy. She took care of the girls and the house. She had started brushing up on the language again, so she found out whatever Old Quil wanted her to help out with at the council hall. Eleanor had passed away over a year ago, so what she'd learned was going to have to be enough. Grandfather had one special request of her. He asked if she'd think back in time to the moment she came back and start recording that portion of history. He believed just like the story of the second wife, her story needed to be recounted. She started going back through some of her old journals that had entries about Jacob and Seth and eventually Paul. It was haunting to relive some of those moments, but a lot of them were happy. As she began to review them and re-organize her thoughts, certain things stood out about each of her relationships. All three of them fulfilled different needs. She knew she felt love for them all, but each had a variation.

By the end of the second week, she was excited to have babysitters for the evening. Jacob had an art walk and he was taking her out to the Italian restaurant they'd been to all those years ago. She dropped Layla at Sue's first and then met up with Paul at his place. He was happy to keep Cassie. She'd planned to pick her up late, but he told her to let her stay all night. He had frozen milk for her and even if she got fussy, he always could get her to calm down.

"No problem hummingbird. I told you, I know what's in store for us; but once you're having the Little Prince, then you, me and Jake are having another talk."

"How do you know we'll have a boy?"

"I just assumed. Mark my words, I'm always right."

"Okay, but you and he are in a better place right now. It isn't going to start another fight, is it?"

"Not if he's reasonable."

Oh god, she was already worried about what he meant. She gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Love you," she said.

"Yeah I know so don't forget it. I love you too."

Bella was thinking on their way back home, what her next step should be. She'd asked him to wait, and it had only been a little over two weeks. They had such a nice time at the art walk. Despite everything that was revealed about Edward and the Volturi, she felt like their life was very peaceful. He was telling her various stories about the other artists he'd met. She was listening to everything he was saying, but her mind starting drifting. Jacob had one hand on the wheel and the other arm stretched across the console. She was holding his hand. She'd forgotten how much she loved holding his hand. Those hands could comfort her, protect her and love her all at once. She looked over at him driving after staring at her hand nestled inside his grip. He had the nicest wrist. Was that a thing? Did women like a man for his wrist?

"Bells, whatcha doin?" He must have noticed her leering.

"Oh, nothing...I was just thinking."

"About?" he drug out the vowel sound.

"You've changed over the past few years. I know you all say you don't age, but you still seem more mature. I thought you were the most handsome man I'd ever laid eyes on that day in the airport, but I was wrong...this version of you is even better."

"Thanks, I thought the same about you."

"Me? Is that werewolf sight going downhill? I'm at least 15, maybe 20 pounds heavier, and I swear I've got permanent bags under my eyes. You're maturing, I'm just getting old."

He told her motherhood had done wonders for her, and she had better color to her skin; not to mention, she never hid behind her hair any longer. "You were awkward and shy and I doubt you ever stepped outside before you moved back here originally. The confidence you exhibit now makes you more attractive to me and that's saying a lot. I already thought you were beautiful."

Bella checked her phone and both girls were down for the night, no emergencies. She and Jacob were going to have the house to themselves. Even though Billy was downstairs, Jake said he slept like the dead and he'd been turning in every night by 9 if they didn't have company.

It was Bella that pulled his hand to her cheek as he turned in the driveway. She opened his palm and held his hand with both her hands. She kissed his warm skin and savored the feelings he produced when he cupped her chin. He had stopped the car and she was staring at him by then. The rise and fall of her chest was the first indication she had that she was about to be swept away.

"Bells..."

"Yes, Jake," she breathed out.

"It's the right time."

She nodded, and leaned in slowly, he was already half way across the console. His lips ignited that last part of her uncertainty on fire. She knew their time had finally arrived. Each heartbreak, every missed opportunity and all her trust issues were being erased with every second they spent pouring out their love in the front seat of her car. They soon realized they didn't need to stay in a car when they had an entire empty floor to their house waiting on them. Jake made a break for it when she was catching her breath. He pulled the door open swiftly and pulled her out of the vehicle. He body pressed against the cool metal and resumed kissing her. He ended up shoving the car door closed and hoisted her up. Jacob carried her inside and all the way to their room with her clinging to him like her life depended on it. She felt certain it did. They both needed this reunion and maybe to some a month didn't seem like a long time, but she felt like it had been painful at times. They never completely lost their connection, but rebuilding and reconstructing something stronger and deeper had been more of a challenge than she would have imagined. She could never go back to the way she was when she had first met him. She'd only been smitten with Seth in the beginning and Paul wasn't a part of her when they first fell in love. Being married to Seth and losing him, plus sharing a child with him had left it's mark. Of course, Paul had seared off a section of heart that she'd never be able to reclaim, nor did she want to. However, when she promised herself to Jacob again, she meant whatever was left. She was certain she wasn't giving him the scraps either. She'd promised him before, she had learned how to love at full capacity. She loved him and she was finally open to let him love her the way he'd tried so many times before.

Jacob showed no signs of being rusty. He was still adept at stripping her down in a heartbeat.

"No, not my panties again. I lost count how many panties I lost to you, Black."

He covered her mouth again with his, but briefly broke the kiss, "I'll fill an entire dresser with panties for you, Bells because that's the way it's going to be from here on out."

She gasped the moment he reunited his body with hers. He peppered kisses to her face and neck. "Mmmmm, still my Bells. I love you, I'm never letting you go again."

She returned the sentiment. "I love you so much."

Bella and Jacob made love as long as and as often as her body allowed through the night. It was nothing like that last time some three years before. That time was goodbye, a parting of ways, and this was brand new, the beginning of their new life together. He still knew her body backwards and forwards, but she was aware that the understanding he'd developed of her heart and soul made it even more powerful.

Jacob breathed into her ear before she'd finally collapsed against him sometime in the middle of the night. "I missed you. Promise me, I'll never know what it's like to be without you again."

"I promise Jake." There was no point in ever bringing up their fear conversation again. He only needed to hear her assurances that night.

She was excited that she'd beat him up the next morning, so she rushed downstairs and put together a breakfast tray to serve him in bed. She didn't forget Billy, she left him a plate on the stove. Bella was carefully carting their breakfast up the stairs when he wheeled out of his room.

"Where you headed, dear?"

"Oh, just delivering breakfast in bed to Jake, yours is on the stove."

"Careful, you might spoil him."

She giggled, "I hope so, he deserves it after everything we've been through."

"Bella, on a serious note, I don't know how many years I have left."

She furiously shook her head, she didn't want to think about losing anymore loved ones for a very long time.

But he smiled, "It's okay, if you and my son have finally found your way back to each other and fill this house with grandchildren, I know no matter what; I'll die a happy man. Take care of each other and love each other, because they'll still be hard days ahead."

She was going to hug his neck the next time her arms were free but she thanked him and finished her journey back to Jacob. He seemed to still be asleep til she shut the bedroom door.

"Whatcha sneaking around for, Bells?"

"Um, I wanted to surprise you."

"Oh yeah...since I smell food, it isn't the exact surprise I was dreaming about."

She brought the tray over to the bed and he sat up. "But this is a close second. I'm starving." He motioned for her to come back to bed with him and she joined him. They enjoyed their breakfast. She fed him half of his just because he was so damn cute opening his mouth up for her. When they were done, he put the tray on the floor, and tried to give her some appreciation for taking care of him.

"We can't, Jake...Cassie's on the way home. Kim's bringing her."

"Kim? Why's that?"

"Because I thought it'd be better."

"Oh," was his only response.

"Don't just say oh...let's talk about it."

"I'd rather not. I'd prefer to think about last night and how it was only you and me."

"That's fine, I want us to have that often but I won't apologize for caring about his feelings. I'd give you the same courtesy."

She was relieved when he seemed to accept her admission. They did have just enough time to grab a shower. Jacob's shower was a huge step above the little cabin one they use to visit. She promised to utilize it with him often especially when she wasn't in a rush.

* * *

The next few weeks flew by and soon they were all packed again in the hall for Sam and Leah's turn to make it official. Bella finally spoke up about what she'd been noticing all evening.

"What? Why do you keep staring at me?" She asked Jacob.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I always stare at you."

"No, this is different. What's going on?"

"Lets step outside for a minute." She wasn't too keen on going outside, it was getting chilly at night, but he told her couldn't wait any longer. He said he'd originally planned to tell her when they got home after the wedding. They stepped out on the small porch off the back. Jacob pulled her close and shielded her from the wind. He took his hand and place it over her stomach and she knew the minute his warmth took hold of her.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"I...I didn't even. Oh wow, I wonder how far I am?"

"My best guess is since the first night, don't you agree?"

Yeah, he was probably right. She knew better now than to think she knew anything about her fertility or birth control. She was an anomaly when it came her and her supernatural men.

"I want to go announce it," he was extremely excited.

She hesitated because she and Paul had been having problems. Well...it wasn't really problems, just that there was a new distance between them that they'd never experienced since he was in her life. Jacob pulled her arm and started towards the door to go back inside.

The reception was winding down and Leah had already said they were about to leave. Jacob asked if he could say something. "Leah and Sam, thanks for letting us all be a part of this. You two went through a lot to find your way back to each other. A few years ago, none of us would have ever believed this day would have ever happened; but we're all happy it has." Everyone raised their glasses to them and gave them their well wishes. Jacob paused and announced he had one more thing to say. "Bella and I have some similarities, our future seemed non-existent for a long time, but now we've also found our way back." He looked at her and asked for permission with his eyes. She nodded. He might as well, they'd all know soon enough.

"Bella's pregnant. Lots of things are about to change for the better. We wanted to share it with you all on this night of celebration."

Lots more cheering and hoot and hollering filled the room. Kim and Sadie ran up and hugged her. She was happy and it felt so real with all of them knowing. Bella searched him out in the crowd. If she would have had more time to let it sink in, she probably would have told him in private. She knew he'd given his blessing many weeks before. He'd also said countless times he knew Jacob was always going to come first and that he knew his place. As long as he had a part of her, he had enough, but she still saw that little bit of regret on his face. No matter what he was feeling he still nodded and smiled for her. Jacob probably missed that she was distracted, because he was so happy. He wasn't finished with announcements. The next one caught her more off guard than the baby he told her they were expecting. At least that part had been planned.

Before she realized his intentions, he was on his knee pulling out a small box, "So since we're celebrating new beginnings and new life, I thought it was the perfect time to ask." His eyes met hers, "Bells, ours has never been a conventional love and maybe you aren't certain about us being traditional, but I still want it. I hope you do too. Will you marry me?"

Talk about unexpected...they'd never discussed it. He pulled out a navy blue velvet covered box. She couldn't believe what he was presenting her with. A platinum ring with a black diamond surrounded by smaller white diamonds. It was very unique, and it was so fitting, she'd wear a black diamond from him. It was exquisite. They were all waiting on her answer. Surely, everyone would know what it would be. "Yes, Jake...of course I'll marry you."

He slipped the ring on her finger and pulled her down to sit on his leg. She slid both of hers hands around his neck and gave him a kiss. "The ring is so beautiful. I love it."

He told her it was custom made only for her. The designer promised to never make another exactly like it. Bella had done a good job at tuning the rest of the room out during his proposal. Once they had their moment and she received congratulations from everyone, they all saw Leah and Sam off.

"When's the date?" Quil questioned.

"I don't know," Jake looked to her. She shrugged. "How bout next week?"

"Next week!" she replied. Was she seriously up to another week long engagement? He said they'd let everyone know, but the hall was already set up for a wedding. All she had to do was go out and pick a dress she wanted. He knew Bella wouldn't want an elaborate affair as long as she was surrounded by the people she loved.

She soon made her way across the room, "Hey Dad," Bella wanted to see what Charlie thought about everything.

He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm happy for you two. You know you're really going to have your hands full, but at least you've got a ton of dependable babysitters."

Next she went to her future father in law. "Are you happy?"

She could tell he was, he hadn't stop smiling since Jacob told everyone she was pregnant. "I'm going to be a grandfather and you'll officially be my daughter even though it's felt like you were for a long time. Of course, I'm ecstatic," she hugged him and told him she felt the same way. She'd missed out on so much not being close to her father growing up, but now she was fortunate to have two.

Paul came up to her as they were getting the kids rounded up. He offered to carry a sleeping Cassie to the car. Jacob picked up Layla and all of them went outside. Once, the girls were strapped in, he put his arm around her. "It's okay, stop looking so worried. It's what you wanted." Paul surprised them both when he reached out to shake Jacob's hand. "I know you love her and would protect her with your life, but you have to know I'm feel the same."

"I know," Jacob agreed.

"Hummingbird, I'm sorry I've been distant, let's get lunch tomorrow...you, me and the girls. Is that okay?"

She agreed that was fine. There was still so much to be said, but none of them knew exactly what or how to go about it.

* * *

The next six weeks flew by, pregnancy had at least been a little kinder to her this time around other than extreme fatigue. Sue was first to suggest Bella visit her midwife friends. She noted how easy Bella seemed to have it with the first two deliveries. Jacob wasn't fully on board, but she decided to use them instead of going back to her old OB. They recently opened a new clinic and she could have the baby there, it had more of a home-like feel to it. The baby was due in early summer according to her first ultrasound. She and Jacob actually went through with his spontaneous decision and had gotten married the next weekend after the proposal. They had a simple ceremony much like Sam and Leah's. Bella didn't care as long as her Dad gave her away and Billy performed the ceremony and all their friends were there. The two of them didn't have a lengthy honeymoon. She couldn't leave Cassie more than a night. She had been having problems since the pregnancy hormones affected her milk supply. She and Paul had worked with her and were gradually switching her to formula, which she didn't care for her a first. Bella was happy that she'd finally settled down after a few rough weeks.

Bella and Jacob were having an evening in, she'd gotten the girls to sleep while he cleaned the kitchen for her. Their was an unexpected knock at the door. It was Paul looking like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Hey, what's up? Sorry, Cassie's sleeping, but you're welcome to go see her." She wondered why he hadn't come by for a couple of days. He usually made a point to spend time with his daughter every day.

"I want to, but first I'm ready to talk with you and Jacob. I waited because I didn't want to bombard you since you were adjusting to the new pregnancy."

Jacob walked out of the kitchen, "Can this wait til tomorrow?"

"Nope, I want to talk right now."

"Okay...talk," Jacob snapped. She knew the handshake at Leah's wedding had been tentative. They were trying, but neither of them were completely content with the situation.

"I accept you needed to marry Bella and I know why you wanted to have a baby so soon, but when are we going to stop dancing around the fact I'm still important in all this? I can't keep ignoring what she and I had developed. Your marriage isn't enough to wipe it away. Tell him, hummingbird."

Jacob didn't let her answer. Instead he asserted, "Stop right there, I think I know what you're asking. The answer's no, she's my wife now and definitely not while she's carrying my pup. That's off limits. I was led to believe you two are content again with your special friendship."

Again, he pleaded with her, "Say something, hummingbird. This is about you and you're pretending you aren't even in the room. Tell him what you want. I gave you my blessing, but I never said I was stepping aside permanently. I've been pretty fucking gracious. I had to stand by when my pup was starving and cranky because yours took over Bella's body."

"Paul, please...you know she was never starving, she's almost six months. She's taking the bottle fine now, and I've even given her cereal. I'm probably still able to nurse her a little for a few more weeks."

He continued, "I also sat through your wedding while you vowed to love and cherish each other your entire lives. You don't think I didn't want to jump and say me too. I want a commitment that's honored, as well."

Jacob shook his head, "See Bells, I told you a long time ago. We're going to have a hard time with our jealousy. What you had in mind was never going to work."

"But you, Paul and Seth had a pact. I thought you understood, Jake."

"It was easier when he was alive. He kinda balanced us out, but ever since I found out you two lived a secret life together for a year, I haven't been able to forgive him. I have a solution that's going to once and for all end this."

Paul snarled at him, "You think I don't know your plan."

Jacob had cocky and self-assured look all of the sudden. She was completely in the dark. They hadn't discussed anything along those lines. "No I don't think you do."

"Hummingbird, he thinks he can keep you knocked up and then I won't be able to touch you. That's what he means."

"Hold on, no one is staying knocked up." She already felt like that was sort of the case, but she was waiting before the next one. She had to. "I'm sure that isn't what Jake meant."

"Oh yeah, then I'd like to hear about this so called solution and if you think me and Bella will ever stop loving each other, you're deluded."

Here she was in the middle once again, and she hated to be blunt but if that's what Jake was thinking; then Paul was right.

"Go on...tell us your solution, mighty alpha."

"I talked to my Dad, I did some research. As soon as the baby's born. I'm going to mark her."

She didn't know what that meant, but obviously Paul did because he was consumed with fury. She was worried he was going to phase in the middle of their house. "The hell you are."

She needed them to both take it down a notch and somebody needed to start making sense. What did Jacob mean he was going to mark her?

_**~ Thanks for reading. **_

_**If I get some awesome feedback, I might be motivated to post Part 2 super fast!**_


	57. Chapter 57

_**~A/N I know it isn't possible to make everyone's ship come true. I have such an eclectic group following this fic. There are the die hard J/B shippers and some serious Lahote lovers out there. Of course, many are fine with both. I even have some that are all together uncomfortable with poly (I still insist that isn't what this is...eh, we all have our own definitions about that), but perhaps even those were, at times, intrigued. My only hope as an author is that even if you didn't get it exactly as you wanted, you at least felt something when you read this story. I hope I was able to entertain, make you cry and laugh, and even squeal with excitement. **_

_**chapter continues...**_

Chapter 53: Part 2

"No fucking way. I won't let you." He was begging her with his eyes, depending on her to put Jacob in his place. She loved her husband, but in that instance, she was going to defend Paul. She didn't know what it all meant. She reached out to touch Paul's hand hoping to communicate something to him.

"You don't have a say so. It's up to Bells." Jacob explained.

"Then I'll mark her too!"

"Not going to happen; you won't be able to. Once it's done, your wolf won't be able to be like that with her ever again. Finally, all this confusion will be over once and for all."

"Stop, both of you. I don't even know what we're talking about. This is about me, my body. I think one of you owes me and explanation."

Jacob finally told her what marking her involved. It sounded so primal. It was no wonder, none of the others had done such a thing. If there was another reason, she needed to submit to that; she would have, but to get rid of Paul was something she never even considered.

"So Paul won't love me anymore?" that made her heart ache.

"No, I never said that, but he won't be able to physically be with you and in the end, that's what's best for all of us."

"How's that best for me?" Paul asked.

"Because I won't be constantly tempted to rip you apart. You've been asking for it since the airport."

Paul stood up, "Let's go, we haven't scraped in a long time, I'm more than ready."

Jacob stood up as well.

"Both of you stop, no one's going outside. Jacob what about your rule, pack doesn't fight against each other?"

"There's always exceptions to rules, Bells...these are extreme circumstances." She got in between both the agitated wolves and put a palm on each of their chests.

"Please Paul, you promised you understood. You've always done what's best for me. I can't deal with you two fighting over me right now."

He backed away from Jacob. "Tell him, he needs to know what we both realized after Cassie was born."

"I already know, you think you and Bells will have a son one day. Just because you had a dream doesn't make it a reality. Since when are you clairvoyant?"

"I never claimed to be, but you know Kelsee said the spirits have given us visions to help us on this journey. Tell him, hummingbird."

"He's right, Jake. I felt it when we had our daughter. I knew Paul was right, that Cassie wouldn't be our only child."

"I told you I can't share you and you married me knowing that." Jacob had stepped away and braced himself against the mantle.

It was time she finally expressed herself more clearly. "You married me knowing I loved Paul too. I promised to not go back and forth, but I never promised to completely sever my ties to him. Too much has happened, it's not possible. I...I can't do what you're asking. I don't want you to mark me, Jake. If you need my permission, then you don't have it. As far as sharing goes, you already do. You knew how I felt and you said you understood. You both share my heart, I've been honest about that for a long time."

She tried to go to Jake to make contact with him, but he jerked his arm away from her. "I've got to get out of here." Jacob didn't say anything else, before he bolted out the door.

"I'm sorry you're upset." Paul put his arms around her. "You know stress isn't good for the baby. Tell me what to do, honey. I didn't mean to start a bunch of shit, but I work with Jacob. I'm in his head, when he lets me in. He was becoming confident that whatever you and I had reverted back to friendship and that's where it'd stay. Thanks for refusing. I would die if he blocked me with the marking.

She nervously chewed her fingernails. "I hope I can make him understand."

"I believe he will, give him time." Paul pulled her into his side, she missed his contact. "I love you, that'll never change," she promised.

"I love you too," He kissed her on her forehead, but she looked up at him. He hadn't kissed her on the mouth in a long while, but he did then and she felt the stress leave her body. "If one day, you come to me and say you want him to go through with it, the marking, I mean...I'll understand, but not before...you know and of course, I'm not going to ask right away. God knows, you need a break. But I know our son is meant to be born too."

"I know, I've also seen him in my mind." Paul let out a long breath and held her tight before he ran up and saw his daughter for a minute. He came back down and told her he had one more thing to ask and she could think about it. There was no rush.

"Do you think maybe one day, you and I could have a commitment ceremony? I asked Billy and he says he could perform it similar to the marriage ceremony. Of course, it wouldn't be legal in the state of Washington, but it'd mean something to us. I want our children to know that you and I are also completely committed. Does that sound plausible?"

"Yes, it sounds beautiful. Of course, I'd do that with you." He held her for few minutes longer and told her not to worry; in the end, it'd all work out.

Bella waited up for hours for her husband to come home. She must have dozed eventually, but when the bed shifted, she felt for him.

"Sleep Bells, we'll talk about it later."

"No, Jake. I love you so much. It seems like all three of us needed a reality check. I'm not choosing one over the other. I never wanted to do that. Can we promise to take it one day at a time?"

"Yeah honey, that's all we can do." He rubbed his hand over the tiny bump she had and she rolled over on him. "You're mine," he stated without question. She pulled her t-shirt off and proved she was, but there was something left unspoken. She couldn't add "only yours," because if she'd said that; it would have been a lie.

* * *

**end flashback**

Bella was tired from standing so long at Seth's grave, but it was so quiet there and it was important she recount all the events that had led her to where she was in life at that moment. So much more had happened. In the following months after they all knew she was pregnant, the pack experienced virtual baby boom. Sadie, Angela, Kim and Leah were all pregnant within the first three months. Even Ella turned up pregnant, which scared Collin half to death since he had to face her super strict dad. He and Brady ended having a double wedding a couple of months before. They had all settled down, and the mood was relaxed. Carlisle sent a letter every month or two. Aro was continuing to have his hands full with his own kind. They were all keeping their fingers crossed that he might forget, but they still trained and prepared as much as they could.

She wished she could say Jacob and Paul got along all the time, but they didn't. One day when she was officially 7 months, Paul was giving her a low back rub. She had a lot of back pain this time around. The midwife said it was her sciatic nerve. Jacob came in and said a few harsh words. He was sick of seeing his hands on his wife every chance he got.

They quickly got into one of their heated arguments. Paul was accusing him trying to come between him and his daughter. He had been over a whole lot lately because Cassie was doing so much. He didn't want to miss anything. She had recently taken her first step. Then Jacob got very defensive, because he felt like that wasn't the case at all. He did say that Paul seemed to use that as an excuse sometimes, but then Paul reminded him how important touch was. Jacob knew that part was true for all of them. It was in their nature. She had grown up rarely asking for hugs, but even she had become accustomed to it and she craved the contact with both of them as well as her friends.

"It doesn't mean I want to smell your scent and fucking slobber on my wife everyday." Jacob further yelled.

"Stop it, the girls are upstairs. No more fighting or I'm kicking you both out." She yelled as she stood up to get in between them as she often did. She eventually ended up doubled over in pain. Her stomach seized her. It felt just like labor, she screamed, "Somethings wrong...it's the baby. I feel like I'm having contractions, but it's too early!"

It ended up being one of her worst nights ever when they rushed her to the hospital She had to go through all kinds of tests and exams and go on a fetal monitor. Her cramping kept on and on. She ended up being admitted in the hospital. She had to be on IV fluids and even had a shot to speed the baby's lung development just in case it was preterm labor. Dr. Oliver attended to her once again and checked on the baby. Paul and Jake were both at her side further confusing the doctor. "Who's Dad?"

Jacob stepped forward, "I am."

"Oh, well Bella maybe your friend wants to wait outside," Dr. Oliver suggested.

She was about to request he stay, when Jacob spoke up instead, "No, Paul needs to be here. We don't mind."

She smiled at him. She didn't care how the hell it looked, she held both their hands as the ultrasound was performed. Dr. Oliver confirmed it was a boy again. He wasn't shy about showing of his parts. She'd had a couple of ultrasounds previously. She told the three of them Bella could go home the next morning, but bed rest for the next few weeks was advised. She commented she could continue with the midwives if no other problems arose. She wheeled the machine out and left them alone.

Jake started apologizing first, "I'm so sorry Bells. I can't keep saying I understand, and then turn around and act like a jealous asshole. I promise you, like you said, one day at a time. I'm going to be better, honey. Please believe me. I would never forgive myself if I caused a problem with you or our son."

"Me too, hummingbird. I'll be whatever you need. Don't scare us like that ever again. You and the kids are too important. I'll love the Little Prince just as much as Layla and Cassie." He looked at Jacob. "I'll watch over your son same as you've been there for the girls. I apologize for provoking you at times." Bella sat her bed up. She still had both of their hands, so she did something she'd never thought about doing, she pulled them all together. Jacob's hands were on top, hers were in the middle and Paul's were underneath.

That was their moment of truth when everyone agreed on something finally. She'd been so much better ever since the scare. They all had. She wiped her eyes again remembering how far they'd all come.

She could see Paul in the distance, so she said her goodbye to Seth. She'd be back next time with Layla, she brought her there every once in awhile.

"Hey, I thought you were babysitting?" she questioned him.

"I took them to Sue's, you've been gone a long while and even though Jordan and Trev said you were fine; I needed to see for myself. Why'd you stay so long this time?"

"I don't know...I felt like I needed to tell him everything. Is that strange?"

"No, not if it helps you, honey. I know how much you still miss him. You cant' hide anything from me." It was true, she poured herself out for the kids and Jake and Paul and the pack, but sometimes she still had quiet moments when she felt so lonely without Seth there. "Come on, let me take you to dinner and then we'll go get the girls." Paul touched the stone as well, "We got her bro...we'll never forget our promises."

Bella wiped a tear from her face, after hearing him speak aloud. "Where's Jake?"

"He had a difficult customer and then he was going on patrol. I told him I'd take care of you."

"Oh, sure...you always do," she reached up and he gave her a kiss.

Paul rubbed her belly, "Not much longer, huh?"

"No, the midwife has me coming in once a week now. Cassie was a little early, maybe this little guy will be the same way." She was hopeful.

Jacob and I talked about it. I'm giving you your privacy, of course, but I'll probably run to Kelsee's soon after he's born. We're all going to be fucking nuts those hours, you know that...the whole pack, not just me and Jake.

"Yeah, I know."

"He had I talked more about the aftermath. He's pretty convinced what will happen between you two. I'm just as convinced about me and you."

"Paul, no matter what, my feelings won't change."

He held her hand on the way to her car. She couldn't believe how relaxed she'd gotten those last couple of months. Bella had visited Kelsee so much lately trying to obtain as much knowledge as she could. She also wanted to have as much time with her as possible. She knew both Jacob and Paul were twisted in knots a little over this imprinting thing. Angela said she and Embry would just be relieved that he would finally be able to be a real uncle to Layla like all the other guys. They weren't worried about the true imprint, neither were Sam and Quil. Bella felt the same way, she didn't need to be imprinted with one or both of them to know they were her destiny. She had given it a little thought, and what the journals originally stated, did sound beautiful. It was nothing like the curse they'd all witnessed, but was it in their future? Only time would tell.

* * *

Bella was up cooking breakfast, Cassie and Layla were both singing at the table. At least that's what Cassie thought she was doing. Jacob came in and kissed the girls and then came behind his wife to give her good morning kisses. He whispered in her ear, "You were very adventurous last night."

She turned around, "Hey, I'm always adventurous, cuz I have to keep up with my super sexy wolf," She pulled him in for one more kiss, "I love you."

Layla started laughing. "What, Little Bit? You think it's funny when I kiss your mom?" She covered her eyes. "She's going to be really embarrassed when she gets older, because you know I'll never be shy with my affections."

Jake rubbed her belly which was as big as it had ever been. She was only 5 days away from her due date. "Um Bells, did you feel that? You're stomach just got really tense."

She had felt it a few times during the night, but she thought it was because of their bedroom activities. That usually started it up and then they'd go away.

"Well, maybe your son is about to make an appearance?"

"Are you serious? Right now, today?"

"It's not that hard to believe Jake. I told you it could be any day now."

"Shit, I've got a ton of work, but I'll get the guys to shuffle things around."

"No, it's fine go but keep your phone handy."

He scarfed down his breakfast and agreed to at least go in and tell them what to get started on.

She called Kim and Sadie over to help with the girls once she realized the tightening was continuing. She sent Jake a message and Paul just in case he missed it. She was leaned against the shower wall as the spray hit her back. She was feeling it all in her back this time. Jacob came in and joined her because he'd ended up getting his hands a little dirty at work just to take his mind off waiting for her call. Whatever she asked for, he did. Sometimes she needed him to rub her back and other times she told him not to touch her. It was a good thing Jacob had a tankless water heater because they stayed in there a long time until he caught the scent. "You're water just broke, time to go."

The midwife clinic was only a short 15 minutes drive to the end of the reservation. Her favorite midwife, Lillian told her she was made for birthing babies. She wasn't certain if that was true, but she was relieved if she was going to be a pack Momma, that she could at least have quick deliveries. The room was much more homey than the hospitals she'd previously delivered in. She and Jacob were alone most of the time. It wasn't til Bella said she felt the pressure that the three nurses joined them. Even though her body was being pushed to its limits once again, she sought his eyes. Bella wanted to see her reflection as she brought their son into the world. This child carried so much responsibility on his shoulders and he hadn't even sucked in his first lungful of air. If they were wrong, she didn't want anyone to feel disappointment. She and Jacob were finally having a child together. She whisked that thought from her conscience. He told her he knew it was their child that would break it and she was putting her trust in his words. She remembers screaming when the burn started. Jacob spoke up, he was completely involved and wasn't squeamish in the least. "Bells, I see his head." She didn't need to hear he saw it, because she felt it. She was waiting on the word to "push" so she didn't have to keep blowing out her air out.

Lillian gave her the go ahead, "Really hard push, Bella...just one more."

She did what she needed to do.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you," was just a whisper, but he heard her. He knew.

Their son, Caleb Seth Black breathed his first breath.

Baby's strong, hearty cries filled the room.

She was bawling just as loud. Once she wiped at her bleary eyes, she met her husband's gaze. The jolt ran through her from head to toe. It felt like an electric shock to her heart. Jacob visibly stumbled. Lillian questioned him. "Whoa, watch it Poppa. You aren't going to pass out on us are you? Take a seat next to your wife." In her mind, she spoke, _Imprint._

He nodded.

What? She hadn't said it out loud, but he heard her. _I love you_.

She sucked in her own breath. She'd heard him too and his lips didn't move. They'd just experienced something even more powerful than they'd been expecting.

Bella, Jacob and Caleb were finally left alone to bond and she put their son to her breast. Of course, he latched on like a pro, he was Jacob's son. They were so consumed with the love in the room, it escaped their thoughts what might be happening across the reservation.

* * *

Paul POV

Paul Lahote knew his hummingbird was going into labor and that by the end of the day, there might be dramatic conclusions or beginnings. He knew he still had a part in whatever it was. He waited for the official word, a healthy son had been born. He ran full speed to Kelsee's. He pushed open the door and about pulled it off the hinges to reveal an empty room. A decorative arm bracelet sat on the table on top of a notebook. A white envelope laid next to it with one word printed on the front: **ISABELLA**.

Paul called out loud, "Kelsee!" There was no response, he walked back outside, and caught a scent. He followed it through an uneven, overgrown trail. He spotted a strand of grayed hair on a branch. She'd been that way only a few minutes before, but he couldn't figure out why. He heard water running from the stream. He knew that branch of the river. He stopped when he saw a feather hanging from another limb. Strange how a jet black hair was stuck to that tree. The scent hadn't changed. It was still Kelsee.

Paul heard one click of a branch breaking. His head snapped in the right direction just in time to catch the young Native woman, fall head first over the embankment. He was confused at first and rushed to help that unknown woman. When he peered over the edge, no one was there. All he saw was one matching feather be taken away by the current. It all dawned on him at once. That was Kelsee, she'd been released from her earthy curse, which in turn released him and his brother's from their curse. He ran as fast as he could back up the trail. He had to go to her. He knew Jacob had instructed him to wait for his call but he couldn't wait any longer. He had to know. Paul made it to the clinic. He rushed inside and calmed down enough to ask if he could see them. They told him to knock and see if they were ready for visitors.

He had his hand raised to the door.

"Dammit Lahote, I told you to wait." Jacob barely opened the door a sliver. He could only see one of his eyes.

"Kelsee's gone...she disappeared in front of my eyes. The curse is broken Jake. I had to tell you two. How's hummingbird?"

"She's fine. The boy's perfectly healthy as well. We already know it broke. Please give us more time alone."

He heard Bella's voice.

"Come back in an hour, Paul. Bella wants to see you then."

Of course, he agreed. He didn't want to disturb them. He remembered how precious those first few hours were to them with Cassie. Paul went outside and decided to take a run as a distraction. Collin and Brady phased in with him and he showed the scene at Kelsee's so they'd all know. Brady said Quil had just left the pack mind. It had already happened with Embry and Angela. Quil and Sam didn't feel it, but those two couples were completely secure so no one was upset. Paul felt the burden lift knowing his sweet little bumblebee would be free to chose. He loved her so much and he was happy for everyone involved. Bella was going to be thrilled when he told her.

He circled around a few times before he phased back. He pulled on his shorts and shirt and slid on his shoes he'd left abandoned behind the clinic. He pulled out his phone again. Still five more minutes...his wolf was still tearing him up even though he'd released him for awhile. Was that a sign? He didn't know if it was a good or bad one. He was about to attempt knocking one more time, when Jacob met him in the hallway. He had the Little Prince with him. Paul took a look, _yep that's all Jake._ He was cute, and like the girls, he could see parts of Bella in him. She made some beautiful babies. He swore they all had her button nose.

"She wants to see you."

"Are you okay, bro?

"Whatever happens is meant to be. I'm just going to love my family the best I know how and take care of my pack and my tribe. I know where me and Bells stand and nothing can change that." Paul felt exactly the same way, but it felt good that he and Jacob had come to those conclusions. It had been hell at times. He had so many regrets about what they'd done to her since bringing her back home.

Even though, Jacob said she was expecting him, he still gently knocked.

"Come in, Paul."

He stepped in the room, despite the scents that birth and the new pup produced, his wolf stood at attention to the one scent that mattered the most. The silly girl was shaking covered up to her neck with a pile of blankets, but he remembered that happened after their daughter was born. The doctor said it was the hormones, but she was nervous as well. He sensed it. She was looking at her lap. He closed the distance between them in a few seconds.

"Hummingbird, I'll continue to love you, no matter what." He touched her chin and felt her cool skin burn his fingers to the bone. His lips couldn't hide the smirk that rose to the surface. He already knew. "Look at me baby..."

And she did...

_**~Thanks so much for reading my story. I'm totally blown away at the responses I received.**_

_**I know, what the heck kinda of person ends a story with a bit of an unknown? Me, of course, but trust me; the epilogue is a bit of a mini sequel. There's still a lot to reveal about what happened. I probably could have gone on for many chapters about Alpha Jake, Beta Paul, and Bella as well as the pack and all the babies, but I had to stop somewhere. This story was approaching 300,000 words. I wrote on it almost daily for about 5 months. It was time to put it to bed. Thanks again and I hope to have the two part epi out to you very soon. **_


	58. Epilogue: Part 1

_**~A/N An **epilogue** is a piece of writing at the end of a work of literature, usually used to bring closure to the work. It is a final chapter at the end of a story that often serves to reveal the fates of the characters. I hope I answer any and all your questions with these final two parts of Revival. If not, you can imagine it however you wish or feel free to PM me anytime. I would again like to give my heartfelt thanks for all the support and interest this story received. You have no idea what it means as a fairly new writer to gain this type of attention. I still remember the very spot on my afternoon walk where the idea was born. "Hey, what about a story where imprinting is a curse?" I thought it would be interesting to explore and maybe I could come up with at least 20 to 25 chapters and the rest is fanfiction history. Please take a look at my awesome Epilogue banner created by the one and only dontcallmeleelee. It truly captures the spirit of the story. . **_

_**Both Parts 1 and 2 come with a hankie warning, but you guys should have already expected that. Also, I tried something different in this first part. I wrote it entirely in Bella's first person POV because this goes inside her journal.**_

**Revival Epilogue: Part 1**

* * *

_It's in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped._

* * *

Approximately 22 years in the future

_The final journal of Isabella Marie Black _

For some reason, I always thought this would come so much further in the future, but of course, my life never went the way I expected it. The doctor finally said the words we'd all been dreading for the past two years. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Black...there's nothing more we can do other than make you comfortable."

Of course, it had to be one of the worst possible cancers with a low rate of remission. I almost beat it twice, but this time the medical people only shook their heads. Acute myeloid leukemia were the words spoken to me when I couldn't seem to shake a bug a couple of years back. I was so tired, I was missing more days of school than I could attend, so it was the start of my unofficial retirement. At least, Kate took over my language program. She had come to the reservation school soon after I began. Who knew just how deep our connection would run after our fast friendship made in the Kindergarten class all those years ago.

I'm not bitter, and the only regret is what I leave behind. I'll miss them, but at least they have each other. I managed to lead a full and rich life the past 25 years. Notice, I never said easy. It was often difficult and we'd all seen our share of sorrow and heartbreak. The first, of course, was losing my first husband, Seth at such a young age. It took a long time for the pack to recover and no one ever really got over the loss. Even to this day, they still leave his spot open when they assume their official formation.

He was the first of several losses, some expected and others unexpected. The loss of Sue 15 years ago brought as all to our knees. She'd been a loving grandmother to all our pack children, especially mine. She'd never treated any of them different from Layla, she loved them all. Charlie never had the same glint in his eyes after losing her to a short battle with breast cancer. I never could figure out why they never made it official, but Sue had a hang up about marrying after Harry. I tried to tell her once, it's possible to have more than one soul mate in life. I'm a living testimony to that.

I've been working on these journals for a couple of decades after Grandfather's special request. I can't help but smile every time I think of him. He was such a cantankerous old man in the beginning. I thought he was too stubborn to die, but his heart eventually gave out because of old age. They'd already laid Joseph to rest two years before and Old Quil died the year after Sue. I clung to Quil's hand for dear life. He and I were forever bonded over the old man. I swear we were the only two that ever really got him.

I truly hope a situation like ours never exists again, but I will continue to write it to the best of my ability just in case some future generation needs it for a guide.

The condensed version is this: I am the imprint of the Alpha and the Beta of the La Push pack. It's believed with almost certainty, that I was also destined to be imprinted to Seth Clearwater, my first husband; but his untimely passing never allowed it to be confirmed. In my heart, I still know. Once Paul came to the birthing center and I looked in his eyes, less than 2 hours after imprinting with Jacob as soon as our son was born, breaking the curse; I also imprinted with my other soul mate. They were not equal imprints. Just like my relationships were different, so were the imprints. The council poured back over the archives trying to decipher more about the second wife story, no one completely understood why it happened the way it did. The best theory laid out was Jake was my primary imprint. He and I shared a deep connection. It was so intense, we could even speak to each other's minds. It wasn't complete telepathy. I couldn't recite him the grocery list or anything. We found it only happened during the purest moments of love and adoration.

The conclusion was drawn that the secondary imprint or imprints if Seth would have lived existed strictly for mating purposes. I was chosen for some reason to help produce a much needed foundation for a new, strong pack. I never completely bought that because Paul and Seth meant so much more to me than just a couple of breeding studs. Paul and I disproved that over and over, because even after our son was born; our feelings never abandoned us and he and I weren't destined to have any more children together.

I guess this is the perfect spot to explain more about each and everyone of my beloved children. They are my greatest accomplishment. Of course, Seth and I produced the truly unique and extremely brave Layla. She is 25 years old, and the baddest ass wolf the packs had ever seen according to her Alpha little brother. She has given me so much joy over the years. Her father would be so proud of her and he left so much of himself in her; it was the only thing that made his loss tolerable those first few years. She's the only female just like her Aunt Leah. She first phased at 15. Jacob and a few others from the original pack were still phasing at the time. She was prepared. The guys had those kids training from early on. Some of the kids were still in diapers when they started with them. They never ignored the looming threat of Aro and his guard that intended to one day come and wipe out the pack. Those vampires had no idea what was waiting for them. I highly doubt I'll be here but I still have no fear Caleb's pack will do the job. All was not easy with Layla, especially since she had her heart set on Trevor from the very beginning. I knew all along, but Jacob didn't have a clue until one day he caught them on the porch. They weren't doing anything wrong, but Jacob recognized the look between them. He lost it for a little bit, "NO, this is not happening, she's 16 years old and you're 30, Trev." Of course, Trevor had not done anything out of line. He swore to Jacob and later to Paul when he also found out about the feelings those two had that he'd wait for her. It was a couple of rough years before she turned 18, but Uncle Jake and Uncle Paul both walked her down the aisle a couple of years ago.

My sweet Cassie was next in line. She's the most like me. It was obvious to us early on she wanted nothing to do with the training activities. Jacob had the kids involved in all kinds of activities from sports to martial arts. Of course, they also studied under the elder wolves to learn as much as they possibly could. Cassie usually would come in with scraped knees and red cheeks in the first 20 minutes or so begging to help with dinner instead. After a little debate with Paul and Jake, Cassie was finally excused from pre-wolf school. Odds were she wouldn't phase, and if she did then she'd catch up. Layla was the opposite, eager to kick her brothers butts in sparing. She was always trying to prove herself. Cassie loved to read, cook and sew. Of course, she was a Daddy's girl. He'd always treated her like a princess. There was a lot less drama when Raif Cameron imprinted on her. He was 16 and she was 15, but they both handled it well. They'd been the best of friends growing up, we all assumed they were going to be together even before the imprint. It was such a relief, the mystic power was working for the good of the wolves instead of against them. They are also married and have my only granddaughter, Maddie. Cassie and Raif's place has become the new hangout for the pack since I don't have the strength in me any longer.

Of course, Caleb was the son Jacob knew we would have which lifted the curse. He has all the strong qualities of his father. He's a natural born leader. It's a good thing, because they all need him more than ever. Caleb phased a year after his big sister when he was only 13. I was so worried, but Jake assured me he was ready. In fact, he was so adept at his duty...Jacob's wish finally came true and he was able to stop and essentially hand the new pack over to Caleb when he was only 16 years old. One other surprise was Rylan, Kate and Reese's son phased right along with the others that were expected. It was a shock, but we only assumed all the time spent with the pack and the fact that Reese had Quileute blood; that it was enough to ignite the gene. Caleb imprinted on their daughter, Raven and they got married around the same time Cassie and Raif did. They had our first grandchild, a son named William. We all call him Will. Billy was so grateful to have the chance to meet his great-grandson. It was almost like he willed himself to live just for that moment. His health had rapidly declined and he passed 6 months later. It was so much for Jacob to have all at once, because all those events happened in the months after my diagnosis.

Perhaps, this is the area where our lives truly became unconventional. I had a much needed break from carrying babies after Caleb. Jacob and I lived as any other married couple. We co-parented with Paul. He was still my very best friend. So basically, during that time frame, he was what I needed him to be. Jacob shocked us all when he offered Paul the far corner of the property so he could have a more suitable home to help raise the kids. He got together with Quil and Jared and built a sturdy 3 bedroom house. He and I both felt much more content that he was barely a short walk away at any given time. It was better for Cassie as well. We managed almost 3 years living with the arrangement. Paul asked me over one afternoon. He told me to come alone, which wasn't completely out of the ordinary. Sometimes we needed some time to just be us.

He started out by saying that Jacob had just left his place. He told him what was on his mind and Jacob said he'd been expecting it. Paul was basically asking for permission. He was ready to try for our son, if both Jake and I agreed. Jacob had recently talked about going for another stay on the cattle ranch. Beau was still kicking and eager to once again be Jake's spirit guide. He had so many responsibilities ahead of him with all the new additions. The garage was in good hands. I knew I was due to have more children. The pack had added several kids to the fold.

At first, I thought it might be awkward to again change the nature of our relationship, but because of the bond formed well before the imprint, it wasn't strange at all. Not to the two of us, at least and Jacob had stepped aside because of a duty that he felt he had. I took the kids and lived with Paul for the majority of a year. Of course, Jake hadn't been gone the entire time; but soon I was pregnant again with a son that Paul always knew we'd have together. I was never with the other one while I was pregnant. It wasn't just a rule Jacob had made up to control his jealousy. Literally, the wolf wouldn't allow it. I felt like it was a perfect time to honor my promise to Paul. We had a commitment ceremony when I was about halfway through my pregnancy. As far as the tribe was concerned, he was also viewed as my husband. Of course, no one outside our little group ever knew the details. Paul chose a special bracelet I wear and I never take it off same as my wedding ring.

Our son Nash was born in the springtime. He's definitely his father's son. Jacob had to have plenty of talks with him, because he and Paul were too much alike. They butted heads many times as Nash got older. He was all set to become a lady's man when he hit puberty. The girls had flocked around him from a very early age and it had gone to his head a bit. Of course, the wolf had other ideas, and Nash imprinted on Sam and Leah's daughter, Harper. Poor Sam, he had a tough time with it, but Nash settled down. He and Harper are a great match. She's a little older than him and very mature and level headed, exactly what he needed. The two of them intend to get married, but haven't made it official just yet. They were the last of the imprints, so it was true that it's rare and without a curse, it has worked for the good of the wolf. I truly believe that even in my case; it has done precisely that.

Life went on a few years before Jake and I were surprised, but extremely happy to be having twins. Carson and Cory were born three years after Nash. What a handful two at once were, but Sadie was a tremendous help. She and Quil had twin boys soon after Caleb. She still had lots of Six and Sage's things that she shared with her. Quil insisted on the family name for the first born twin and we thought Six was joke nickname, but it stuck. Sadie had a hard time and swore she and Quil were only having those two, so she gave me everything she had left. The pack had a few sets of twins since Jordan and Trevor joined. Of course, Brady and Collin married Julia and Ella who were twins, so with our boys, there were 4 sets. Brady had 2 sons and a daughter while Collin had a son and daughter. Angela and Embry had two girls and a boy. Alexander was engaged to a girl from Forks, but they'd postponed the wedding because of the battle preparations. Peyton and Henry, Leah and Sam's son were also planning a wedding, but Paige had big dreams to travel and go off to college. Everything had been put on hold until we knew they were all safe. Jordan and his wife have a daughter, as well.

I had said plenty of times, we were done after the twins. Our life was so impossibly full. I never planned on having six children, but I did and any more than that was out of the question, but like so many times before; I spoke too soon. My fortieth birthday present was one of the most precious sweetpeas I'd ever laid eyes on. Beautiful Hope Kelsee Black completed our family. That sweet girl has been the light of all our lives. Her brothers and sisters dote on her, but she's never acted spoiled. It was very special for me to give Jacob a daughter. The two of them are very close. I hate that I have been unable to take care of my own child lately. She usually stays with Cassie and Raif and is loving every minute of being an aunt at the young age of ten. I know Cassie will always take excellent care of her.

This is where my heart truly breaks as the time approaches. I imagined that if I wasn't able to pull through, the children would have their fathers. At the worst possible time, when the warning came from the Cullen's that Aro had finally decided; Jake started getting weak. It was so ridiculous, Aro was bored was the primary reason Carlisle could obtain. Why couldn't we be lucky enough that he forgot about us? I guess it was very true that vampires were selfish creatures. The pack needed Jacob's skill and wisdom more than ever, but he had to leave the pack in the hands of his son. He literally could not phase again, he tried and tried until he passed out from exhaustion. The pack would remain Caleb's. All the other older wolves started phasing again. They still had strong numbers without Jacob, 24 total. Even if he couldn't physically do the job, he still helped them with strategies and planning. When I realized how sick I was, we were reminded of a conversation we'd once had about Jacob's greatest fear. I'd told him then it wasn't possible to protect me from everything. For a long time, we almost believed he could, but this disease was taking it's toll on both of us.

Alice told them springtime which was only months away. The Cullen's were coming as back up. The wolves never fully trusted them, but if they helped; that was all that mattered. Nash came to me one day to let me know one more problem we all faced. "Dad's not well. I don't think he should join us. I thought you might be the only one he'd listen to." Nash was very worried about his father, and he was going to ask his brother to give an order that would prevent Paul from phasing. I tried to convince him as well. I couldn't believe they both were ill now. Jacob said it did no good for them to see a doctor. It wasn't like they had cancer like me, but as I slipped away, they did as well. I guess this is important for future generations. The wolf cannot survive without his imprint. We're proving the theory.

Jacob, Paul and Caleb had a long talk and a compromise was finally found. Paul would stay in the background and only come out of hiding in case of an emergency. He refused to not be there in some sort of capacity.

Another meeting had taken place that I was totally unaware of until very recently. Jacob made one last plea to Carlisle of all people. My doctors wouldn't try the bone marrow transplant, and we weren't sure the kids could be tested by normal medical professionals. We had no idea what might show up in the testing, but Carlisle agreed to try. He scoured my medical records and he told Jake it was a long shot, but amazingly enough there were two matches. Tomorrow is the day, it's my last chance, so maybe a miracle will occur.

I am no where close to perfect. I never claimed to be special, but I did my best for my family and my pack. It was hard loving more than one man, I can't deny that, but looking back on our lives, I'm so thankful I didn't have to chose. This tribe has given so much to me, and I can never repay them for the way they accepted me, ignoring that I was somewhat of an outsider. Our children are our legacy and if Jacob and Paul soon follow me in death, at least we all know; part of us will live on. When Edward Cullen abandoned me all those years ago in the woods, I thought a part of me died; but at least now I know the life that was intended for me revived my heart and soul. I can truly say, I have lived life to the fullest.

_**~Thanks for reading. Part 2 will soon follow.**_


	59. Epilogue: Part 2

_**Epi continues in Layla's POV**_

**Revival: Epilogue Part 2**

* * *

_It's in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped._

* * *

**Layla's POV**

Layla Clearwater-Jennings stood at the top of the cliffs they all knew so well. Her sandy brown coat was being ruffled by the steady wind that blew out of the north. The wind had been welcomed after the multiple fires that needed to burn off quickly. The faster the purple plumes of smoke dispersed, the better. Most of the reservation hadn't known how big the threat had been that had virtually marched up to their back doors. The pack had done their job quickly and efficiently, but it had not been easy. Carlisle had slightly underestimated the numbers. Last count, she swore Caleb said it was sixty. As far as she knew, no casualties on the pack side; only various battle injuries even the old-timers held up. Nash was worried when his Dad came out of hiding, to protect him; but he only seemed to have a superficial wound. She didn't know where Uncle Paul had run off to...most likely where he always hid out.

She was waiting on the crew. Caleb had gone back to the house to get Cassie and Hope. All seven of them were meeting. They were making an informal dedication of sorts. This was the spot where it'd all began. Her Mom and Uncle Jake fell in love up there. Layla looked towards the house she'd grown up in. The place still had special memories for all of them, but it wasn't the same anymore once Mom had become too sick to handle them all over. Cassie took up the slack since that was her thing. She was Susie homemaker and loved every minute of it. She and Aunt Kim actually ran a party planning business together and were pretty successful.

Of course, it was obvious none of them grew up in a conventional home, but they didn't care. They had one of the best upbringings they could have asked for. Layla felt sad at times that she'd lost her father before she had a chance to form a permanent memory, but the pack and her mother did an excellent job at keeping his memory alive. Uncle Jacob and Uncle Paul had done their best and she was never lacking with fatherly attention. She loved them more than words could express. The way they loved her mother was awe-inspiring. Of course, the kids never totally understood how they made it work, but they did. Being kids meant they never wanted to know all the details. She knew Jacob was her primary imprint and for the most part she lived with him. The outside world knew her as Bella Black, but she still was also totally devoted to Uncle Paul. Her mother always managed to get away with him the month of their anniversary once she stopped having kids and before her illness. Layla guessed it was the compromise the three of them had agreed on since the majority of the time she was with Uncle Jacob.

Layla decided to phase back to human before the others arrived. She retrieved her clothes and changed. She smelled Caleb on the way up, but he was alone.

"I thought you were bringing the others. Where are Cassie and Hope?"

"With Nash, they'll be here in a few. I wanted to talk to you alone first."

"That was some battle you led us in. You were born for this," she, like all the rest appreciated his leadership and wisdom. He was only 22 years old but no one would have ever guessed. Her brother seemed much older.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, of course not...I don't hand out compliments very often baby brother. You should take it since I'm offering you one."

"Come on, Layla. You were the star of this show and you know it. I can't tell you how many times you saved my ass out there. We would have not had the same outcome if it hadn't been for you."

She was speechless for once. She might have bragged all these years that she was the fastest, most agile wolf. She had proven to be even faster than her Aunt Leah, but to hear him acknowledge her skills was pretty awesome. No one else was around, so what the hell; she gave her little brother, who was also her alpha, a big hug.

The others came up the embankment soon enough. Hope was riding on Carson's shoulders.

Cassie ran over and hugged her. "Are you hurt? Cory's hand was crushed, but Raif helped him straighten it out and it's healing up now."

"No, Cass, I'm good. We kicked ass. Didn't Raif tell you?"

"Yeah, but I was in a hurry to get here so I didn't get the whole story."

Caleb decided to speak up even though she was the oldest. "Hey, listen up guys. Today was huge, this is what we've been training for our entire lives. We exist to a point because this threat was coming. From here on out, things should be different, but I'm not sure if I can say it'll be easier. We have to accept that it just might be us sooner than later, but we're a family no matter what." Caleb looked to Cassie, "Any word from home?"

"Yeah, Uncle Jake called to see what time we were getting together. She's having a good day, so they're going to come."

They all breathed a collective sigh of relief. Everyday was a gift now according to the odds.

Hope was the first to speak up,"Yeah, Mommy's better...see I told you Layla, you're bone marrow was all she needed to get well. Why do you all still look so sad? Mommy's going to be well soon. She'll heal up just like the wolves. Look," she reached for Cory. "See Cory's hand, it'll be like that. We just can't see it cuz it's in her blood."

Hope always lived up to her name, maybe they should all try to be a little more like her.

She wasn't finished, "And when Mommy's better, then Daddy and Uncle Paul will be better. Please, you have to believe me." Nash picked up Hope and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

He whispered to her, "I believe you baby girl."

The twins brought the engraved rock and everyone voted that Layla should do the honors. She moved the dirt enough to bury it just far enough. The inscription read La Push Pack, and the date Uncle Jake first brought Mom up to the cliffs. She'd written about it in her journal, so they knew the exact day. Of course, the pack existed years before that, but they all agreed, it was the day everything changed. There wasn't much daylight left so they all headed to Cassie's for the celebration dinner. Not only had they destroyed the Volturi but there was a good chance no vamps would ever come near the reservation from that day forward. The best news was their mother was having a good day and that hadn't happened in a long time.

As soon as they walked through the door and made their way to the center of the room, Uncle Quil yelled out, "Bella's babies!"

They all turned towards him. He always called them that, and Layla felt proud to hear the term of endearment. Grandpa Charlie was sitting on a barstool and she headed over to him. Renee and Phil were still living, but they'd never been around too much once she and her mother moved back. They didn't fully understand what went on in their lives. Nana was having a hard time coming to terms with Mom's diagnosis too. Grandpa had been a constant. She couldn't count the times she'd sat on a boat fishing with him and Chief, but now it was just the two of them. She still went with him whenever she could. He was thrilled she took to it, since Mom had never enjoyed it.

Trevor came up behind her and put his arms around her. He asked how it went on the cliffs and she smiled and told him it went well. She turned around to give her handsome husband a kiss. Layla thought when she was growing up, it was merely a crush, and he'd never be interested in her. She was so glad to find after she phased, and grew up rather rapidly, that it wasn't that way. Trevor had never found what he was looking for when he dated. They had to wait because she had 8 uncles watching her like a hawk and even his brother, Jordan cautioned him. They were blissfully happy now and fully accepted by the pack, even Uncle Jake and Uncle Paul welcomed him as a son at their wedding. She knew Trevor had become very attached to Jordan and Charlotte's daughter, Avery. She was almost 4. It hadn't been an option for them, but now that the threat had been dealt with, maybe a little one was in their future. Aunt Leah said it took over a year after she quit. Layla had a hard time imagining not phasing. It was all she knew for so long. She actually worried it might not happen for her when she was younger. She might be the first one that truly wanted it, because it was important to her to be able to defend her family. Caleb was going to evaluate the situation over the next few months and gradually let those who really wanted to stop, do so. Jordan and Trevor were top on the list, they'd been consistently phasing since they were 13.

She knew the old wolves had just officially retired for good. Uncle Brady was over at the table with an ice pack to his trick shoulder that he complained so easily dislocated from an old injury. Uncle Quil was moaning and complaining, while Aunt Sadie rubbed his shoulders. "Damn, I'm too old for this shit. I hurt all over, baby. You're going to have to give me a full body massage when we get home."

"Eww, gross Dad, we don't want to know about that stuff," Six vocalized his embarrassment, but they were all use to it.

Uncle Embry made his way over to her. They had a special relationship. He kissed the side of her head, "Proud of you Little Bit. You did good." It was so weird to think he was almost her imprint. That seemed like a completely foreign concept. He was imprinted to Aunt Angela of course and they were perfect together. She was so glad Caleb broke that curse.

The pack got busy at what they did best, next to killing leeches and they dug into Cassie's spread of food. Everyone was anxious when the door finally opened. Only Uncle Jake walked in and Layla felt her heart sink to her feet. No, she'd relapsed and wasn't coming. He wasn't carrying her which had become necessary if she wasn't in her wheelchair. "Mom?" she questioned.

He surprised her by smiling, "You're not going to believe this." He went back outside, the room was frozen and quiet with anticipation. Layla's keen hearing picked up on a strange noise, it was a clank and then a drag...definitely not wheels. Eventually, they saw with their own eyes, Bella was slowly making her way through the door holding onto a walker. Walking? How? She hadn't walked in almost a year. They all did physical therapy with her but assumed it was in vain. Layla could see every female in the room was in tears as were Uncle Quil and Grandpa.

Grandpa voiced his excitement, "Bells...you're walking. It's working, isn't it? The bone marrow transplant is healing you." Everyone then turned to Layla. She remembered the day well. Her Mom made her promise not to get her hopes up. She thought it was too late. They'd all been tested, even Hope. Dr. Cullen whispered to her testing Hope was only to make her feel better. He couldn't use hers, she was too young, but they were all shocked that it was the two of them that matched; her first and last child. Layla was so relieved she matched.

Uncle Jacob got her settled on the sofa. He told them how the morning had brought all kinds of surprises. Bella was feeling better and he was stronger as well. Once the battle was won, Carlisle came to pay a visit. He took some samples. It was confirmed something special was transferred to her from Layla's bone marrow. It took awhile to take hold, but he admitted he knew something must be happening, because any other person would have passed by now. He thought she only had weeks left 3 months ago when he did the procedure. She was officially cancer free and Carlisle predicted there was no way it would ever come back. She had a long journey of rehab to regain her muscle tone and strength, but in the end he thought she'd live a long healthy life just like the ones with the wolf gene.

Hope ran to Bella, "Yeah! I told you and you guys didn't believe me. Remember my name? We always gotta have hope, isn't that right Daddy?" Uncle Jake scooped her up and peppered kisses to her face.

"Yep, baby so glad we always have Hope with you around."

Uncle Jacob already looked so much better. The dark circles under his eyes had disappeared and his face didn't look so drawn. He also walked with confidence once more. They were all together once and for all, but then Mom asked an obvious question that she'd overlooked.

"Where's Paul?"

Raif came closer, "You haven't seen him?"

"No, I expected him all day, but he never came back to the house."

Nash and Caleb looked at each other and split without another word.

Mom's happy smile faded. She put her hand to her chest. "What happened? Something's wrong."

Layla told her what she knew. Uncle Paul stayed out of it for the most part, but when a leech came up behind Nash who was already fighting off two in front of him; he had no choice but to become involved. Father and son battled with the three leeches until Layla had gotten free and helped out. Of course, they tore them apart, but Uncle Paul did have a pretty good slice to his underbelly. They all assumed he was healing, he ran off full sprint after it was all over. They thought he went to her, of course. He was never too far away from their mother, especially now.

"So that was the last time any of you saw him?" Everyone agreed, it was.

A half hour passed, and they were all on pins and needles. They'd begged her to eat something since she was trying to regain her strength, but she refused. Layla could see in her eyes, she was beyond worried. Caleb kicked at the door and Jared rushed to open it. Caleb and Nash were carrying Uncle Paul and it didn't look good. He was pale and sweating profusely.

Cassie cried out, "Daddy," she ushered them in the spare room. Layla and Uncle Jake followed them inside. Nash pulled up his shirt. The wound was festering and showed no signs of healing.

"Why isn't he healing?" she asked.

Uncle Jake said it had to be because he was already weak, but he instructed her and Cassie to clean the wound thoroughly. They knew from the past that filth and debris hindered healing. He barely seemed conscious, but when they disinfected the gash he let out powerful screams. Cassie and Nash pleaded with him to fight. Even though he was sweaty, his skin felt cold as ice. The look on Uncle Jake's face said it all. He thought he was too far gone.

One word escaped Uncle Paul's dry, cracked lips, "Hummingbird..."

A soft voice startled them from the door, "I'm here."

They led her to the bed and she sat down next to him. The rest of them filed out the door. The two of them deserved their privacy if that was their last moment together. Layla threw up a prayer..._don't let this be it._

* * *

**Bella's POV**

She couldn't believe that she'd just found out she received her miracle. Bella was going to live, but now that didn't seem so joyous. She looked at the man that had given so much of himself over the years. He gave up a normal life for her, but he never complained. She brushed her fingers through his wet hair, "Paul, I said I'm here. Why are you doing this? I'm getting better. I'm going to beat this. I still need you."

He didn't move or make a sound. She wasn't sure he was hearing her.

She shook his shoulder slightly, "Dammit...do you hear me? I said I need you Paul Lahote. I beat a life threatening illness and you're not going to stick around. I can't believe this. Our kids need you. What about Maddie? She lights up every time you hold her. We'll have more grandchildren, I want you with me to see each and everyone of them grow up." His hand found her wrist and he rubbed over the bracelet he'd given her. He could hear her. Maybe it wasn't too late, but he still looked so bad. Bella thought she better get the kids back in there one more time. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere. Please come back to me." She then called for Jacob, and he lifted her up and carried her back to the couch. The emotions had gotten to her and she couldn't walk any more for the day. Jacob briefly went back inside to Paul. She had no idea what he said to him or what Cassie and Nash might be saying. Bella buried her face into Jacob's chest and sobbed. "Why?" was all she could ask. Jacob held her and comforted her like no one else could.

"I don't know, Bells. I don't know if it worked since I'm not alpha anymore but I gave him one final order and told him to get his ass out of that bed and come celebrate with us. You getting better is all he and I have talked about for two years straight." She kissed her husband who was more understanding than she had ever deserved. They whispered their "I love you's" to each other. She was so tired, she closed her eyes and let the steady beat of Jacob's heart give her comfort.

She wasn't aware how many minutes had passed before a firm hand grabbed her shoulder. She briefly assumed it was one of her sons, but the tingling down her arm made her realize that wasn't the case. Bella lifted her head and she opened her eyes to see Paul standing all on his own. "Paul!"

"Who else?" he quipped.

She motioned for him to take a seat on the other side of her. She wrapped her arms around him and he held her tight proving he was his normal self. She eased back and asked, "How?"

"I figured if you could beat a killer disease as a mere human, then no way was I letting a scratch get the best of me. I concentrated on your beautiful face and with all that was left in me; I told myself to heal and my skin literally started knitting itself back together. My body temp returned to normal and before I knew I sat up and was ready to walk in here."

Bella looked around the room. Their extended family was bigger in more ways than one. All their kids had come closer. She felt the love and strength they gave her. She looked to Jacob on her right and Paul on her left. "Look at them. We did that. They're all amazing, each and everyone of them. I can't say thank you enough for the journey the two of you have taken me on. I feel like you both have all of me even if that sounds impossible."

Jacob agreed, "We get it Bells even if no one else does. I love you, honey."

"Me too, hummingbird." Paul stuck his hand out in the middle of them, she put hers on next and Jacob covered them. It was the same pledge made all those years ago in the hospital when they agreed to stop fighting and to accept their destiny.

Bella looked at her father, he mouthed "Love you, kiddo." Her eyes were drawn to the wall where the pictures hung. Cassie had a copy of the one Leah took with Seth, Layla, Paul, Jacob and her that day only weeks before losing him. She sent up a message to him in her mind, _we're still okay. _

Quil broke up the emotional moment, "Is there dessert?"

The room burst out in laughter. Bella was so relieved to hear them all laughing at once. She was not sure of very much in life, but she knew there would be lots of moments like that in their future. They'd live, they'd laugh and they'd probably still cry at times, but she didn't want to be anyplace else. She was born for that very special life and somewhere out in the universe in another realm, Kelsee was saying, "See...I told you child, you're stronger than you think."

****The End ****

* * *

_**Thanks again dear readers. It is with mixed emotions that I conclude this story. I feel relieved but at the same time it's like I'm saying goodbye to a friend. I still want to hear from any of you that were moved at any point during the tale. If you regularly reviewed, you're my best friend. Thanks so much. I've had many compliments and encouraging words along the way, but as most of you know, this story got some hate. For some reason, even some of the haters continued to read and that says something, I suppose. I will continue to write a few more stories. I'm finishing up Innovations, and I'm going to be writing more on Butterfly Wishes and Won't Go Home Without You. I have two more that are in the planning stages. I honestly love these characters so much and telling stories. As long as it's fun, I guess I'll stick with it. Tell the truth: who cried? I cried so many times writing this, so guilty.**_

_** Hugs to all of you, Tonya (tonyamic10)**_


	60. Chapter 60

_**~ A/N This might come as a surprise to most of you, since this fic officially ended in October, but what can I say? I've missed it. I actually went through depression/withdrawal after it was done. I was so wrapped up in it, I felt lost without the characters for a bit. Here's the deal. I told their rather lengthy story, but I got this idea about revisiting the characters from Revival. I have an anniversary of sorts coming up. On March 26, I will mark my one year milestone for posting fanfiction stories, so I thought it'd be fun to write a one shot called The Anniversary. It seemed fitting for me to write an outtake of Jacob, Bella and Paul exactly one year after Revival concluded. I will not add on here. It will be a separate one shot, possible two shot if it gets too long. I hope you give it a try. It's my desire to recapture the feelings, humor and all-consuming love the original story portrayed. Stay tuned...**_

_**The Anniversary by tonyamic10 March 26th!**_


	61. Chapter 61

**~A/N** One more quick announcement. _Revival_ was nominated on Fanfic-n-tasticawards for **Extreme Tear-jerker! **

I also got one for favorite author. I'm so excited about this nomination because I put so much time and effort in the story. It's only fitting, since it caused me plenty of tears and was often an emotional roller coaster. Check out my profile if you want to vote. I would greatly appreciate it!

Don't forget _The Anniversary_ (special outtake from Revival) is added to my list of stories. I hope you give it a read if you're interested in what life might be like for them following the conclusion of that eventful day in the epilogue.

Thanks again for your support and for the wonderful reviews and PM's I've received on this fic.

Tonya


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